Unaccompanied Minors
From Wikiquote
Unaccompanied Minors (also called Grounded: Unaccompanied Minors) is a 2006 comedy film about six kids who find themselves snowbound at an airport on Christmas Eve.
- Directed by Paul Feig. Written by Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark.
- Donna Malone: Mom! I'm 11! I'll look like a loser getting my picture with Santa!
- Mrs. Malone: You'll look like someone who's grounded if you don't. Now, go sit on Santa's lap.
- Donna Malone: Hands off, fat boy! [punches Santa in the groin]
- Spencer Davenport: OK, airport food's that much, huh?
- Restaurant Hostess: I am so gonna kill you.
- Spencer Davenport: It was good service.
- Spencer Davenport: Nachos. My mom never lets me eat those, you know, so an order of those. She's banned all sodas from the house, so extra-, extra-, extra-large root beer.
- Restaurant Hostess: My mom never let me eat mozzarella sticks.
- Spencer Davenport: Mine either. Two orders. On to dessert, huh?
- Restaurant Hostess: You don't have a tapeworm, do you?
- Donna Malone: So where are we staying?
- Oliver Porter: What's wrong with right here?
- Grace Conrad: It smells like a horse died in it.
- Donna Malone: Watch it, Dr. Evil.
- Oliver Porter: Oh no, did I offend you? Well, I don't know what else to call someone who commits grand theft auto, reckless driving and destruction of property all in the course of ten minutes.
- Donna Malone: Someone cooler than you'll ever be.
- Oliver Porter: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! Whoo! That's fantastic. I didn't know we had Ellen DeGeneres in the house. [to Spencer] And what about a young man who orders the heart attack special and can't pay for it? [to Grace] Or a girl who exfoliates herself all over the airport lounge? [to Beef] Then, the abominable snowman who transforms the Emergency Equipment Center into his own private amusement park and then blames it on Aquaman? Aren't you a little too old to be playing with dolls? I mean, what are you, like, 40?
- Zach Van Bourke: Actually, Beef is 12, sir.
- Oliver Porter: Good Lord. And Charlie Goldfinch, my most frequent underage flyer, and formerly model passenger. Karaoke, son? Was it worth it?
- Charlie Goldfinch: I had a song in my heart. Oh my gosh, I'm a juvie.
- Security Guard: Sweet Jehoshaphat.
- Timothy "Beef" Wellington: [Aquaman] did it.
- Spencer Davenport: I would like a table for one in the "no little sisters" section, please.
- Restaurant Hostess: Aren't you a little young to be flying by yourself?
- Spencer Davenport: Not at all.
- Grace Conrad: Once a dork, always a dork.
- Spencer Davenport: You are so not a dork.
- Mr. Goldfinch: Now Charlie, you're gonna be OK this year, all right?
- Charlie Goldfinch: Never been better, Dad.
- Grace Conrad: Santa, my friends and I have a bet.
- Handsome Santa: About what?
- Grace Conrad: [removes the handsome Santa's fake beard] I was right! You're hot! You guys owe me a soy half-caf with a mocha shot! [back to the handsome Santa] Can you get me a discount?
- Charlie Goldfinch: So, we're going to the lodge?
- Oliver Porter: I think I have an answer to your question. Are you out of your juice-drinking little minds?!
- Charlie Goldfinch: [to Donna after she kisses him] Wow! Man, you're so hot!
- Charlie Goldfinch: Oh man, Harvard's never gonna accept me with a police record. And I am not going to community college.
- Spencer Davenport: [upon seeing many rampaging kids] Oh man, it's like "Lord of the Flies" in here.
- Spencer's IOU note: "IOU $74.38. Please e-mail my dad at Davenport.sam@gmail.com for payment. P.S. The mozzarella sticks are for you."
- Restaurant Hostess: Oh, you've got to be kidding me. [Spencer] didn't even eat the mozzarella sticks.
[edit] Taglines
- Six kids, snowbound in an airport on Christmas Eve, without supervision. Someone please call security.
- Silent night... Yeah, right.
- Six unaccompanied minors will become one unbelievable family.
- All flights cancelled. Christmas isn't!
[edit] External links
- Unaccompanied Minors quotes at the Internet Movie Database
