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NCIS (2003–) is a CBS network television series about a team of special agents from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service of the United States Navy.


Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Mark Harmon
Special Agent Anthony "Tony" Dinozzo - Michael Weatherly
Special Agent Caitlin "Kate" Todd - Sasha Alexander (2003-2005)
Special Agent Ziva David - Cote de Pablo (2005-Present)
Probationary Agent Timothy McGee - Sean Murray
Forensic Pathologist Abigail "Abby" Sciuto - Pauley Perrette
Doctor Donald "Ducky" Mallard - David McCallum
NCIS Director Tom Morrow - Alan Dale (2003-2005)
NCIS Director Jennifer "Jenny" Shephard - Lauren Holly (2005-Present)

Season 1[edit]

Yankee White [1.1][edit]

TSA Agent Dennis: NCIS? That anything like CSI?
Agent Dinozzo: Only if you're dyslexic.

Agent Gibbs: You ever work a crime scene Agent Todd?
Agent Todd: Well, I am a Secret Service Agent.
Agent Gibbs: I thought not.

Agent Todd: I can't give him Air Force Ones floor plans, they're top secret!
Agent Gibbs: Come on, Agent Todd. I saw all this in a Harrison Ford movie.

Agent Gibbs: NCIS does not leak. These plans get out... you can shoot DiNozzo.
Agent Todd: No, I think I'm destined to shoot you.

Agent Gibbs: Rule number one: Never let suspects stay together.

Agent Gibbs: Rule number two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

Agent Gibbs: Rule Number Three: Don't believe what you're told. Always double check.
Agent Todd: Should I write these rules on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows?

Agent Gibbs: (to Agent Todd) You mind if I tag along? Please.
Abby Sciuto: Wow, Gibbs said please!

Hung Out To Dry [1.2][edit]

Witness: We were hanging out, listening to Dashboard Confessional.
Agent Dinozzo: Emo.
Agent Gibbs: Emo?
Agent Dinozzo: Emotional music. Gotta get a radio, Gibbs.

Agent Gibbs: Y'know, some of these guys freeze on their first jump. Have to be kicked in the ass to get them out.
Agent Dinozzo: Not me.
Agent Gibbs: Nope. You fall in the category that I want to kick in the ass on the ground.

Seadog [1.3][edit]

The Immortals [1.4][edit]

The Curse [1.5][edit]

Agent Dinozzo: The golf clubs belonged to his RIO, Lt. Lynch.
Agent Todd: RIO?
Agent Dinozzo: Radar Intercept Officer. Also called a GIBs, one B - short for guy in back.
Agent Todd: (to Agent Gibbs) What do you need two B's for?
Agent Gibbs: Second ones for bastard.

High Seas [1.6][edit]

Sub Rosa [1.7][edit]

Minimum Security [1.8][edit]

Marine Down [1.9][edit]

Agent Todd: If we screw this up, I have a suggestion.
Agent Dinozzo: What?
Agent Todd: We break into Gibbs's basement and burn his boat.
Agent Dinozzo: That's cold, Kate. I knew there was a reason I liked you.

Agent Dinozzo: Gibbs'll get in. He's got clearance that'll let him see the dead aliens buried in Area 51.
Agent Todd: Because he probably killed them.

Left For Dead [1.10][edit]

Eye Spy [1.11][edit]

My Other Left Foot [1.12][edit]

One Shot, One Kill [1.13][edit]

Agent Gibbs: Hey Dinozzo, kinda reminds me of your apartment, except for that minty fresh urine smell.
Agent Dinozzo: Hey for your information I have a maid now.
Agent Gibbs: You can afford a maid?
Agent Dinozzo: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three alimonies.

Agent Todd: You think he told him a fast one?
Agent Dinozzo: I doubt it.
Agent Todd: Why?
Agent Dinozzo: Can you imagine someone lying to Gibbs and getting away with it?

The Good Samaritan [1.14][edit]

Agent Gibbs: Anything Abby?
Abby Sciuto: This is the left rear tire off Commander Julius's car. Notice anything unusual?
Agent Gibbs: It's inflated.
Abby Sciuto: Is that a guess, or do you actually know where I'm going this?
Agent Gibbs: What do you think?
Abby Sciuto: Well, I don't know, that's why I asked you.
Agent Gibbs: Why don't you just tell me?
Abby Sciuto: So you don't know.
Agent Gibbs: I want to make sure you know.
Abby Sciuto: Hmmmm.
Agent Gibbs: Hmmmm.
Abby Sciuto: We should play poker sometime.
Agent Gibbs: Yeah, we should.

Enigma [1.15][edit]

FBI Agent Charles: You're under arrest.
Agent Gibbs: For what?
FBI Agent Charles: Pissing off the FBI.
Agent Gibbs: Get used to it.

Agent Dinozzo: Where the hell are you? Fornell's here with a warrant for your arrest.
Agent Gibbs: Well, good thing I'm not there then.

Bete Noire [1.16][edit]

Dr. Ducky Mallard: (to Ari Haswari) I look forward to weighing your liver.

The Truth Is Out There [1.17][edit]

Abby Sciuto: The car that hit Gordon was definitely a Taurus.
Agent Gibbs: You're positive?
Abby Sciuto: Absolutely... unless it was a Mercury Sable.

UnSEALed [1.18][edit]

Dead Man Talking [1.19][edit]

Agent Gibbs: (has his Sig Sauer pointed at the head of Amanda Reed) His name was Special Agent Chris Pacci. And he was a friend.

Agent Todd: Speaking of way beyond hinky.
Agent Dinozzo: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
Agent Todd: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
Agent Dinozzo: That I can't take.

Missing [1.20][edit]

Split Decision [1.21][edit]

A Weak Link [1.22][edit]

Reville [1.23][edit]

External links[edit]

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