Venom (The Series)
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[edit] Season 1
[edit] The Venom Pilot
- Venom: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my-- HEY WHERES MY BIKE!?
- Manny: Probably at home, jerky.
- Unknown Man: Come to my place for family fun, because its Good, good, good, good, good, good, good!
- Hello, My Names: Hello.
- Venom: What's your name?
- Hello, My Names: Hello, My Names.
- Venom: Hehehe! I get it!
- Hello, My Names: What's to get? Because this place just says their name not Hello: My Names: Some bozo, just your name, idiot. Or does that confuse you? (Venom walks away confused)
- Venom: (Trying to make conversation) Uh, hello, uh, whats your name?
- Mr. Croutch: Mr. Penis Croutch. What's it to ya?
- Venom: To make conversation, uh, hello.
- Mr. Croutch: Hey, unless you wanna talk about ALF I don't wanna talk.
- Venom: S.......o.... who's ALF?
- Mr. Croutch: I'm outta here.
- Venom's Brain: Okay, I wanna job, now, I think this, BLOB guy will give me a job in News casting.
- Mr. Blob: (He knocks on his door) WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT!!!!!!!????
- Venom: Uh, can you give me a jo--
- Mr. Blob: Deal.
[edit] Gun of The Commen Man
- Man: Whoa, careful!
- Venom: I don't gotta, I gotta gun!
(Subplot beginning)
- Venom: Hey, what's goin' on?
- Man: We're talking about Furbys.
- Venom: Furb-a-what?
- Man: Furby.
- Venom: What what?
- Man: Ugh...
[edit] Hello Gutter, Hello Pinner
- :Venom: *After he beats a hobo for $500,000,000* I BOWLED A PERFECT 300!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE GREASTEST DAY OF MY-- Ohh... Hobo, here, take $500,000.
- Hobo: *He takes it all* Yoink!
- Venom: HEY!
[edit] They Maimed Hitler's Brain Part 1
[edit] They Maimed Hitler's Brain Part 2
- Venom: I hate that we all Don't have guns!
- Venom: The year is 1940? I better prevent the people from saving Hitler's brain! I don't know what the movie's about, wait, probably saving Hitler's brain, wait, that's bad!
- Hitler: You Suck-eth!
- Venom: Yeah, well-- you're no prize pig yourself!
[edit] The Quick Mick
[edit] Star Tours
- Venom: OK son, ask me anything
- Venom Jr.: What's the meaning of existence? *Venom poses at him* Well?
- Venom: ... Whoop! Time for bed!
[edit] Season 2
[edit] QUICK! TO THE CONVEINENCE STORE!
- Venom: *To himself* Magilla, or Mogilla?
- Venom Jr.: Wow, you're an idiot! Mogilla!
[edit] School and your Child
- Teacher Mc. Fooby: Hi, I am Teacher M.F. and I would like to present you with, SCHOOL AND YOUR CHILD! Today with me is, Venom Jr. (It is a cardboard thing with human lips on the part where his should be)
- Person behind cardboard: Hello, I am Venom's son, and I am a very bad student!
- Venom: (At the end it is revealed to be a tape to every mother and father's kid that's been bad) WHAT?!
- Ms. Venom: You've been very bad!!
- Venom: Yeah, but what I am mainly mad about is that Venom Jr. ADMITTED he has been VERY bad!
- Ms. Venom: That's not the point!
- Venom: OH yes it is! You are not getting the moral little Venom and, uh, estranged wife, "When in doubt, don't ADMIT anything bad!" Now go to your room, Venom Jr.!
[edit] Last Day of School
- Teacher: What is the capital of Illinois? Reminder, if you miss this you will not pass to the next grade!
- Venom Jr.: (thinking) New York, Menisotta, Montana, Mrs. Sippi? (Aloud, raises hand) Mrs. Sippi?
- Teacher: Oh, that was a lucky guess! You are going to 3rd grade in September.
- Venom Jr.: Wow!
- Teacher: Ah, what an idiot!
- Venom: You didin't pass?!
- Venom Jr.: I didn't tell you anything!
- Venom: But I knew you were gonna fail, you're grounded 'till you're 18. Then you're out the door! Great isn't it? I've been rehersing!
- Venom Jr.: I DID pass!
- Venom: I thought I'd never say this, but, "You sir, are a liar!"
[edit] Bonjor, Idiot
- Venom: Wife, I have a confession to make. I never passed spanish class. (It's revealed he is rehersing) Well, here goes. (He walks into the room, Mrs. Venom is knitting) HEY, WIFE! I never passed spanish class!
- Mrs. Venom: WHAT?!
- Venom: (His son walks in, he whispers to him) Son, get me outta this! Tell me how to say "I never passed spanish class" in spanish!
[edit] Work Improvement
- Venom: Hello. This is the guy from Leave it to Beaver. Yeah. He was Gay.
