Video on Trial
Video on Trial (abbreviated as VOT) is a half-hour MuchMusic television program where a panel of musicians, comedians and entertainment columnists critique music videos.
In the opening credits, the narrator describes the show as being "the show that will never rest until all music videos are brought to justice".
Season 1[edit]
Episode 1.01[edit]
- Nikki Payne: She was a little pretty but she's destructive as well. (on "Crush" by Isabella Richards)
- Trevor Boris: Getting revenge on your boyfriend was nasty even if you put a bucket on his head. (on "Crush" by Isabella Richards)
- Marty Adams: The teacher goes crazy and he's like where's my students? (on "Just the Girl" by The Click Five)
Episode 1.02[edit]
- Jully Black: I was on IMG... Then they dropped me. (on "Get Right" by Jennifer Lopez)
- Trevor Boris: You notice there's ghost sluts dancing behind him. It's like "Ooh, I died of syphilis!" (on "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent featuring Olivia)
Episode 1.03[edit]
- Debra DiGiovanni: I'm sick of all these slutty girls wearing slutty clothes. I would just like to see a video with a girl wearing a nice blouse. (on "Milkshake" by Kelis)
- Ron Sparks: That haircut makes him look like a...vagina head. (on "Let's Go" by Shawn Desman)
- Ron Sparks: Suddenly Shawn Desman is shrunk down to a size that better represents his talent. (on "Let's Go" by Shawn Desman)
- Ron Sparks: I'm not gonna say too much about this video, because I'm friends with Blink-182, but I will say one thing...Shawn Desman sucks. (on "I Miss You" by Blink-182)
- Ron Sparks: Just when it's starting to get slow, bam, spider fight! (on "I Miss You" by Blink-182)
- Ron Sparks: This one gets a thumbs up, because I want my only thumbs down to go to Shawn Desman. Shawn Desman sucks! (on "Splash Waterfalls" by Ludacris)
Episode 1.04[edit]
- Quinn Martin: Oh no. The gangsters are dancing at me. Wow, you really got me. Take my wallet. And here, take my shoes too. (on "Caught Up" by Usher)
- Fraser Young: I just can't make fun of Ashlee Simpson, it's like making fun of someone in the Special Olympics. (on "La La" by Ashlee Simpson)
- Fraser Young: He walks and oh snap! (on "I’m Just a Kid" by Simple Plan)
- Fraser Young: It sounds like they're writing a high school essay that has to be 1000 words! It sounds stupid! Who cares, as long as we get 50 percent! (on "I’m Just a Kid" by Simple Plan)
- Tamla-Mai Deleon: Simple Plan...you need to write these things in your day planner! (on "I’m Just a Kid!" by Simple Plan)
Episode 1.05[edit]
(Ciara climbs on top of Ludacris' car and starts dancing while on knees)
- Sabrina Jalees: I've heard of Pimp My Ride, but eff my ride?! (on "Oh" by Ciara featuring Ludacris)
- Sabrina Jalees: You keep your penis cleanest? Uh...good for you? (on "Oh" by Ciara featuring Ludacris)
(Two black girls are playing jump rope and one mouths "hell yeah" of the line "To the victims of welfare for we living in hell here, hell yeah")
- Sabrina Jalees: Don't jump rope chants go like this; your mom and my mom were up hanging laundry? (on "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West)
- Kardinal Offishall: Did you ever notice that when Haylie gives the guys a thumbs up she's saying "blow job"? (on "Our Lips Are Sealed" by Hilary Duff and Haylie Duff)
- Kardinal Offishall: The only Duff I want to see is the beer Barney drinks on The Simpsons. (on "Our Lips Are Sealed" by Hilary Duff and Haylie Duff)
Episode 1.06[edit]
- Trevor Boris: It's getting hot in there because you're all about to be burned alive. (on "Hot in Herre" by Nelly)
- Trevor Boris: Nellyville, population, 0. Because we all died in a club fire. (on "Hot in Herre" by Nelly)
Episode 1.07[edit]
- Ron Sparks: I once saw Liberace and Elton John 69 each other in the back of a limo, and that video is still the gayest thing I've ever seen. (on "Just Want You to Know" by the Backstreet Boys)
- Ron Sparks: Could you hand me my Backstreet Boys puke bucket? It may also be labeled "Shawn Desman". (on "Just Want You to Know" by the Backstreet Boys)
- Ron Sparks: I don't care how many pretty girl's shirts you vaporize with your magical guitar...you still suck. (on "Just Want You to Know" by the Backstreet Boys)
- Ron Sparks: Please upgrade me to the "Britney Spears Will Touch Me" class. (on "Toxic" by Britney Spears)
- George Pettit: You wanna hear a lie? I'll tell you a couple right now. I think you're an incredible singer, I expect at least 14 albums out of you, and you don't look like the third Olsen twin either. (on "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan)
- Ron Sparks: Lindsay, I don't have a daughter who looks up to you, but if I did, I'd beat her. (on "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan)
- Ron Sparks: Is that her real voice? Because it's beautiful. (on "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan)
- David Kerr: What is up with that dance? I liked him better when he was on smack! (on "Fall to Pieces" by Velvet Revolver)
- George Pettit: Oh, feel sorry for me! I have all these girls and this heroin addiction that I can fully support! (on "Fall to Pieces" by Velvet Revolver)
Episode 1.08[edit]
- Debra DiGiovanni: Taboo, you shouldn't be on TV. You're taboo for my eyes. (on "Don't Phunk with My Heart" by the Black Eyed Peas)
- Debra DiGiovanni: If Shawn Desman and Sean Paul had a love child, it would be Massari. (on "Be Easy" by Massari)
- Debra DiGiovanni: I do have cats - that I dress up occasionally. (on "What You Waiting For?" by Gwen Stefani)
- Debra DiGiovanni: Who helped you with your writer's block? Massari? (on "What You Waiting For?" by Gwen Stefani)
- Debra DiGiovanni: He falls down and becomes a paraplegic? But that's not funny! (on "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers)
- Fraser Young: Watch out Old Navy, watch out Orange Julius...It's about to get all complicated in this bi-yotch! (on "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne)
Episode 1.09[edit]
- Jason Rouse: This is probably the worst video I've ever seen, since your last one. (on "Shake It Off" by Mariah Carey)
- Anna Von Frances: All the cool people wear berets. (on "Wake Up" by Hilary Duff)
- Jason Rouse: She looks like poop. (on "Wake Up" by Hilary Duff)
- Quinn Martin: I'm waiting for an Arab guy to come and say "Get out of my desert!" (on "We Be Burnin'" by Sean Paul)
- Jason Rouse: I...am...Bambi! (on "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy)
- Craig Lauzon: No! Don't cut off your antlers, I like you just the way you are! Ugh! (on "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy)
- Jully Black: Jenny. Jones. Jenny. Jones. (on "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy)
Episode 1.10[edit]
- David Kerr: Am I the only one who's not threatened by breakdancing anymore? It's kind of like "Oooh, look at me, I did a headspin! DISS! Take that, Christina!" (on "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera featuring Lil' Kim)
- Sabrina Jalees: That's right, Christina, start a gender riot in a low income neighborhood and march off to your Malibu home, because that's the right thing to do. (on "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera featuring Lil' Kim)
- Trevor Boris: The first line of the song is "I'm gonna make somebody love me". Which is disturbing because he's in bed with the rest of the band. (on "Do You Want To" by Franz Ferdinand)
- Sabrina Jalees: (In the music video, lead singer Cuomo Rivers drives by an asian girl playing in a tree tire swing) The little asian girl, Kumon Math, that's what she's high on.
- David Kerr: Ludacris isn't just a rapper, he's a faith healer as well! In your face Kanye West! (on "Stand Up" by Ludacris featuring Shawnna)
Episode 1.11[edit]
- Esthero: Heh, money, who wants that? Look at this red jewel! (on "The Reason" by Hoobastank)
- Ron Sparks: Hoobasucks! (on "The Reason" by Hoobastank)
Episode 1.12[edit]
- Anna Von Frances: Excuse me, I'm just a drunk slut, and I was wondering... are you who I think you are? Yep! (on "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence)
- Fraser Young: Hey, are you who I think you are? Yeah, you guessed it, it's Björk! (on "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence)
- Fraser Young: (In the music video, Evanescence lead singer Amy Lee breaks a mirror and gets upset because her hand is bleeding) Mirrors break. Who knew? (on "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence)
- Debra DiGiovanni: I guess it doesn't really matter if you're a Speakerboxxx or a Love Below. The gay guy always wins. (on "Roses" by Outkast)
- Fraser Young: (In the music video, Pink is singing against a man's stomach) Oh, I guess the dude swallowed the mic. (on "Just Like a Pill" by Pink)
Episode 1.13[edit]
- Ron Sparks: It would be funnier if this song was about a camel. (on "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas)
- Ron Sparks: I'm gonna give a bad review. Give a bad review, a bad review, give a bad review to you. (on "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas)
- Perry Perlmutar: Yay, play it for me lame boy band with makeup on! (on "Girls & Boys" by Good Charlotte)
- Tamla-Mai Deleon: I'd dance with him, that's why I'm saying, put me in the video! (on "Dance, Dance" by Fall Out Boy)
Episode 1.14[edit]
- Grieg Nori: I've been wearing these sandals all day, who wants to smell 'em? (on "Luxurious" by Gwen Stefani featuring Slim Thug)
- Sabrina Jalees: Oh, I'm hugging Asian people. I like Asian people, I'm hugging black people, I love Latin people... (on "Luxurious" by Gwen Stefani featuring Slim Thug)
- Grieg Nori: This is the theme song to a bad TV sitcom. (on "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne)
Episode 1.15[edit]
- Debra DiGiovanni: Why does she keep splashing the water? She should use the water to scrub the walls, they're filthy! (on "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)" by Lindsay Lohan)
- Trevor Boris: Lindsay Lohan is going near a fridge! (on "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)" by Lindsay Lohan)
- David Kerr: It took a hell of a lot of takes to get her to learn how to open a fridge door. (on "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)" by Lindsay Lohan)
- Trevor Boris: Ummm....is this thing still on? I gotta go to the bathroom. (after a short period of time) I'm back! Did I miss anything? (on "Jesus of Suburbia" by Green Day)
- Kardinal Offishall: If I see you in the street, I'm gonna rob you. And you think you had it tough growing up? I didn't have Transformers to play with, I had Go-Bots. That's tough! (on "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson)
- Kardinal Offishall: Kardy stole my money! And kicked me in my ass! (on "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson)
- Kardinal Offishall: No, I don't feel sorry for you...except when it comes to your big ass nose. (on "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson)
- Kardinal Offishall: I don't think we do... (on "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson)
- Kardinal Offishall: Without Jessica no one would give a shit! (on "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson)
Episode 1.16[edit]
- Darren Frost: People who work in movie theaters aren't that talented. Trust me, I worked at a movie theater. I've seen it! (on "Heartbreaker" by Mariah Carey)
- Matt Billon: This is the first time I've been turned on by a dead chick. No, second. Grandma was sure hot. (on "Helena" by My Chemical Romance)
- Matt Billon: I saw this video and tried to do it at my grandfather's funeral, they ******* kicked me out. (on "Helena" by My Chemical Romance)
- Ron Josol: Okay, he's trying to crab his crotch..."hey, look, look, it looks like I'm holding my penis. You want some of this, you want some of this air?" (on "Bye Bye Bye" by 'N Sync)
Episode 1.17[edit]
- Nikki Payne: I gotta knock down all these magazines because they're too sexy! These boxes are too sexy, this vase and flowers are too sexy! I'm taking off this shirt because it's too sexy! Oh no, he realized that underneath is even sexier! Britney's going to the bathtub to wash off all the sex appeal! Oh my god, she's leaking sexy! (on "Everytime" by Britney Spears)
- Nikki Payne: Hi, I'm Nikki Payne and I did Kanye West's workout plan- now I don't eat my own **** no more, hu hu hu! (on "The New Workout Plan" by Kanye West)
- Nikki Payne: File my nails! (on "Don't Bother" by Shakira)
- DJ Trixx: I know something about RuPaul... (on "Don't Bother" by Shakira)
Episode 1.18[edit]
- Anna Von Frances: Ha ha, you're poor. (on "Window Shopper" by 50 Cent)
- Fraser Young: This is for "Bailamos"! Wham! This is for "Rhythm Divine"! Wham! And this is for the **** we're making right now! Wham! Wham! (on "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias)
- Fraser Young: (In the music video, Enrique Iglesias is pumping gas) Pumping gas, eh? Well, it's always good to have a backup in case the singing career is lacking. (on "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias)
- Debra DiGiovanni: Jennifer Love Hewitt is a girl the men love and the women hate. I swear to God I'd throw her into traffic. (on "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias)
- Debra DiGiovanni: Okay, we're gonna need 10 guys to take down the pansy and his girlfriend. (on "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias)
- Aaron Merke: I would never want to play hide and go seek with that man....it would turn into a game of tickle giggle. (on "All That I've Got" by The Used)
- Fraser Young: You understand there's a point where your eyes stop and your face begins, right? (on "All That I've Got" by The Used)
- Esthero: Bert McCracken. Bert McCracken. (on "All That I've Got" by The Used)
Episode 1.19[edit]
- Perry Perlmutar: I've seen armless people do a better robot...I've seen dudes without torsos do a better robot. (on "L.O.V.E." by Ashlee Simpson)
- Perry Perlmutar: She sounds like one of those people who come back from working in a bar in London, England saying, 'ello, good day to you, all we got on the menu is nothing but a crappy music video.
- Jennifer Robertson: "Mr. Brightside"? More like "Mr. Moody"! (on "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers)
- Perry Perlmutar: Yeah, man, we shared our real problems. Thanks for sharing us your dream. (on "When I'm Gone" by Eminem)
- Perry Perlmutar: What you gotta do to get your shorty back? Go to the doctor, get stuff fixed, and don't write a song where you call your weiner your shorty. (on "Burn" by Usher)
Episode 1.20[edit]
- Trevor Boris: The drummer looks like Will Ferrell, but for the record, that is not Will Ferrell. (on "Can't Stop" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers)
- Dave Kerr: So 50 Cent raps about money, girls, and he wears his couture wife beater. (on "21 Questions" by 50 Cent featuring Nate Dogg)
Episode 1.21[edit]
- Aaron Merke: Yeah, maybe the guy from Maroon 5 doesn't like black people either...Kanye! (on "Heard 'Em Say" by Kanye West featuring Adam Levine)
- Dan LaVoie: She's like, "Look at me, I'm so pregnant!" And all the guys are like, "You, touch her! No, I don't wanna, you touch her! How do we tell her we're gay?" (on "Papa Don't Preach" by Kelly Osbourne)
Episode 1.22[edit]
- Trevor Boris: Good, he keeps his Eminem music on his iPod. I keep my Eminem music in here. (holds up a garbage can) Look, my favorite! (on "My Band" by D12)
- Sabrina Jalees: That's the most balls I've ever seen in a girl's face, and I'm friends with a lot of big sluts. (on "Batter Up" by Nelly and the St. Lunatics)
- Jennifer Robertson: It's like his brother just graduated from art school and said "Dude, we're gonna film this super cool music video!" (on "The Denial Twist" by The White Stripes)
Episode 1.23[edit]
- Trevor Boris: If I got a message back that said he was wearing white shoes, I'd write back and say I didn't know where he was. Why not Pumas? Those shoes look horrible! (on "Juicebox" by The Strokes)
- Jemeni: Back from the cuckoo house! (on "Don't Forget About Us" by Mariah Carey)
Episode 1.24[edit]
- Alex Nussbaum: Britney, before you open the door, make sure you know who it is. It just could be a stalker. (on "Lucky" by Britney Spears)
(Referring to the slow placed scene of dialogue at the video beginning)
- Debra DiGiovanni: Wake me up when the video starts. (on "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day)
- Fraser Young: Whoa, wait. Since when are there 4 guys in Green Day? (on "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day)
Episode 1.25[edit]
- Nikki Payne: So did they hire some doppelgängers? oh i see. (on "Catch Your Wave" by The Click Five)
Episode 1.26[edit]
- David Kerr: If you're still playing with dolls, you're too young for fake breasts. (on "Stupid Girls" by Pink)
- David Kerr: Look out, Dr. Phil. There is a new caring man out there and his name is Marshall Mathers. (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)
- David Kerr: Why is it that Stan's inner voice sounds just like Eminem? (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)
- Alex Nussbaum: Look at his name. "Stan" written in capital letters, with not just one but two exclamation marks, just in case you didn't know he was an intense guy. Stan! (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)
- David Kerr: If you wash your hands in your pee, then it saves you a bunch of time. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)
- Barry Taylor: It isn't your skin color that makes you ugly, it's your face. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)
- Alex Nussbaum: When you eat you feel like a failure? Funny, 'cause when I eat I feel like a beverage. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)
- David Kerr: I thought it was pretty funny until I recognized my mom's writing, though I'm not sure why she drew me in a dress. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)
- David Kerr: Here's an idea, why don't you keep your crappy music your dirty little secret, and spare us from listening to it. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)
Episode 1.27[edit]
- Nicole Arbour: When I see the lights, it makes me go boom boom boom shboom boom boom boom b-boom, spandex! (on "Sorry" by Madonna)
- Steven Shehori: Whoa, looks like Madonna isn't choosy about the men she picks. But enough about Guy Ritchie. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)
- DJ Trixx: I'm sorry, but Justin Timberlake makes this song so fruity. (on "Signs" by Snoop Dogg featuring Justin Timberlake and Charlie Wilson)
- Steven Shehori: (In the music video, Madonna dances in a MMA cage) We now observe Madonna in her natural habitat. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)
Episode 1.28[edit]
- Ron Sparks: Thank God it's not the G-Unit remix...What?...It is the G-Unit remix? G-G-G-G-G-Unit! (on "I Know You Don't Love Me" by Tony Yayo featuring G-Unit)
Episode 1.29[edit]
- Roddy Colmer: You're fired. You're fired. You're so fired. You're gay. You're fired. (on "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson)
- Trevor Boris: Hey, kids! This is how baby cars are made. You take a daddy car and the daddy car puts his engine in the mommy car's trunk. (on "Go with the Flow" by Queens of the Stone Age)
- Tamla Mai-Deleon: I give it a...purple. (on "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! at the Disco)
Episode 1.30[edit]
- Will Weldon: So finally, the brunette one gets a chance to sing. (on "Beep" by the Pussycat Dolls featuring will.i.am)
Episode 1.31[edit]
- Linda Dano (speaking in the music video): He is 25 years old, and she is 84 years old.
- Sabrina Jalees: Please welcome Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher! (on "The Hardest Part" by Coldplay)
- Pink (music video lyrics): My parents hated me, my teachers dated me.
- Ron Josol: Oh, the cat is out of the bag! You were one of those girls?! (on "Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink)
Episode 1.32[edit]
- Matt Alden: I'm not sure, but I think Shaggy just recited the alphabet backwards somewhere in there. (on "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy featuring Rikrok)
Episode 1.33[edit]
- Dini Dimakos: Yeah, you'll talk to this basket case, but when there's a hot guy you'll be like, "Oh, no, I can't talk, I'm all shy and nervous!" (on "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield)
Episode 1.34[edit]
- Trevor Boris: "Who knew" that this would be such a crappy video. I had a feeling. (on "Who Knew" by Pink
- Fraser Young: Don't ever chain up the fatties. (on "The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" by The Flaming Lips
- Alex Nussbaum: Zeus shows him a yellow paper. Is it that he needs help reading it, or is he challenging Chamillionaire to see if he can read? (on "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krazyie Bone)
- Trevor Boris: When people see this video, he'll be lucky if he's a chethousandaire. (on "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krayzie Bone)
- Fraser Young: That's my parents arguing over whose fault it is that they forgot my 9th birthday. (on "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley)
Episode 1.35[edit]
- Sabrina Jalees: Shakira, honey, we know. That's why you have a choreographer. (on "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean)
- Chris Jericho: Is the little girl gonna get shot in the face?! (on "Freak on a Leash" by Korn)
- Sabrina Jalees: Damn you gender rolls! I want a cheesecake! (on "Tribute" by Tenacious D)
- Ali Rizvi: So if Satan plays a guitar, what does Jesus play? Like...a flute or something? (on "Tribute" by Tenacious D)
Episode 1.36[edit]
- Nile Seguin: Hey, I just made up with my wife. Great...now you're my wife. (on "But It's Better If You Do" by Panic! at the Disco)
Episode 1.37[edit]
- Dini Dimakos: For a virgin, Jon's pretty flexible....wanna go out some time? (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)
- Dini Dimakos: I give this video 4 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuubs out of 5 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubs! (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)
- Todd Shapiro: If you kiss yourself, are you gay? (on "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars)
Season 2[edit]
Episode 2.01[edit]
- Anna Von Frances: If you are truly beautiful you can cut off all your hair and still look pretty. That is why Jennifer Aniston will always have long hair. (on "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna)
Episode 2.02[edit]
(In the video beginning, Jessica and other show business counterparts try to outdo each other in hypothetical "Midas touch" scenarios with a fame twist, each starting with "I wanna be so famous...")
- Robin Black: I wanna be so famous, my vagina can travel through time. (on "A Public Affair" by Jessica Simpson)
- Darrin Rows: There are no mother****ing snakes on a mother****ing plane? This is like a porno that ends when a girl takes her shirt off. (on "Bring It (Snakes on a Plane)" by Cobra Starship featuring William Beckett, Travis McCoy, and Maja Ivarsson)
Episode 2.03[edit]
- Dini Dimakos: Animal cruelty: dying a dog's fur purple. Human cruelty: making a human's hair look like a poodle. (on "Morris Brown" by Outkast featuring Scar and Sleepy Brown)
Episode 2.04[edit]
- Laurie Elliott: You're not here for our entertainment? Oh, why would you be, you're just an entertainer... (on "U + Ur Hand" by Pink)
Episode 2.05[edit]
- Ron Sparks: What does the "O" stand for Steve? "Oh my goodness he's got no talent at all!" (on "Joker & the Thief" by Wolfmother)
- Hugh Phukovsky: I don't need to listen to a robot talk about love. Robots don't know anything about love. Love comes from here. The human heart...of a 50-year old Jewish man. (on "Too Little Too Late" by JoJo)
- Ron Sparks: You know what I like about this video... Nothing. (on "Money Maker" by Ludacris featuring Pharrell)
Episode 2.06[edit]
- Fraser Young: You gotta understand, this was made in 1984. They didn't even have pencils back then! They just had to throw dirty rocks at a piece of paper and hope it makes a picture. (on "Take on Me" by a-ha)
Episode 2.07[edit]
- Measha Brueggergosman: Going to the closet...what's happening in the closet...he's going over to the closet! (on "Trapped in the Closet Pt. 1" by R. Kelly)
Episode 2.08[edit]
- Ron Sparks: If I tried to put my thumbs down any further, I would mess my pants. And then my pants would be full of Hinder. (on "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder)
- Pete Zedlacher: (blowing a raspberry) (on "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder; that was cut in and out between other jurors' verdicts)
Episode 2.09[edit]
- Boomer Phillips: I could kick Tinkerbell in the face... and not feel bad. And I'm a guy who loves dogs. Just... Kick it in the face!! (on Paris Hilton's chihuahua Tinkerbell in "Nothing in This World" by Paris Hilton)
- Trevor Boris: All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, made out of diamonds, bitches! (on "Chain Hang Low" by Jibbs)
- Trevor Boris: "I'm madly in anger with you"? Okay, that is officially the gayest line in all of heavy metal. (on "St. Anger" by Metallica)
Episode 2.10[edit]
- "Weird Al" Yankovic: If your song's title is so long that it can't fit on a bumper sticker, you might just be a pretentious alternative rock band! (on "Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic! at the Disco)
Episode 2.11[edit]
- Nikki Payne: Ooh you naughty cake I’m gonna wrestle in some cake to make me sure if it doesn’t hurt your children. (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)
- Dini Dimakos: There are two places where Fergie doesn't charge for admission: Fergieland and between her legs. Coincidentally, they are the same place. (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)
- Trevor Boris: This video is sh-, this video is sh-, this video is sh-, shit shit shit shit! (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)
- Nikki Payne: I don't like chairs! Take that chair! Fuck you chair! (on "So Excited" by Janet Jackson featuring Khia)
Episode 2.12[edit]
- Alex Nussbaum: Everybody, run! It's a Sisquake! (on "Thong Song" by Sisqo)
Episode 2.13[edit]
- Ron Sparks: Hey, some weird guy in a trenchcoat just followed a half-black, half-white woman up my staircase. Get over here! (on "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson)
Episode 2.14[edit]
- Dini Dimakos: Sorry poor orphan children, what Beyonce wants, Beyonce gets. (on "8 Days of Christmas" by Destiny's Child)
- Dini Dimakos: "Yo B I'm still pimping, and spending cheese on all these women, I wish you was Rihanna, cuz then I'd be up on ya." (on "Eight Days of Christmas" by Destiny's Child)
- Boomer Philips: Who taught this guy to drive, Dany Heatley? (on "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" by *NSYNC)
- Trevor Boris: All I want for Christmas is to go home. Seriously. I've been locked in here since the very first episode! (on "All I Want for Christmas" by Mariah Carey)
Episode 2.15[edit]
- Trevor Boris: Brooke Hogan is like Paris Hilton, without the talent. I know. (on "About Us" by Brooke Hogan featuring Paul Wall)
Episode 2.18[edit]
- Nicole Arbour: Wow, the Harajuku Girls are like, stealth, they can climb walls like fricken Batman. (on "The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani featuring Akon)
Episode 2.19[edit]
- Ron Sparks: So you go driving around in your parents car, without a license, and you pick up some run-away, and she's underaged, and you go to jail, and then they have to come back early to bail you out? Yeah, parents just don't understand. What is with parents!? (on "Parents Just Don't Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince)
Episode 2.22[edit]
- Fraser Young: Look! That wind is so strong! It's not a scene OR an arms race, it's a fucking hurricane! (on "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" by Fall Out Boy)
- Fraser Young: Hey, you kissed my friend, I'm gonna run you off the road, we'll call it even. (on "What Goes Around...Comes Around by Justin Timberlake)
Episode 2.23[edit]
- Nicole Arbour: Just when I thought she couldn't copy Gwen anymore, she went and got black Harajuku girls. (on "Glamorous" by Fergie featuring Ludacris)
Episode 2.26[edit]
- Andrew Johnston: "Why don't you like me?" I'll tell you why I don't like you, Mika, because you say "like" like you're licking something. Presumably...some dude's ballsack. High five! (on "Grace Kelly" by Mika)
Episode 2.28[edit]
- Darrin Rows: This video made me want to kill myself, even more than the Marilyn Manson video, which really made me want to kill myself. So this episode of Video on Trial could end with a double suicide, in which I kill myself twice, which is mathematically impossible. (on "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance)
Episode 2.29[edit]
- Ron Sparks: Dude, these space people came billions of miles just to meet you. I really think they'll be willing to walk across your room. You're gonna have to run further than that. (on "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell)
- DJ Trixx: Busting makes me feel good? Busting makes ALL guys feel good, you dork. (on "Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker, Jr.)
Season 3[edit]
Episode 3.01[edit]
- Debra DiGiovanni: 'I'm not going to blow a map on the desert road (on "The Great Escape" by Boys Like Girls)
Episode 3.02[edit]
- Jemeni: Yay, a song about illegal substances! (on "Alfie" by Lily Allen)
- Nicole Arbour: Oh, cool, he and I have something in common: we both love mirrors. Hi, self! (on "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used)
- Trevor Boris: So this video is about a bird and a worm. Ooh, interesting! (on "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used)
- Darrin Rows: Move over, pope! DJ Khaled is taking over! (on "We Takin' Over" by DJ Khaled featuring Akon, T.I., Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Birdman, and Lil Wayne)
- Nicole Arbour: Hey, I just got a text message from Trevor! "Put your tits away, whore!" (on "Never Again" by Kelly Clarkson)
Episode 3.03[edit]
(referring to the lead singer, Bert McCracken)
- Dini Dimakos: He looks like the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Jared Leto. (on "Pretty Handsome Awkward by The Used)
(In the video, Bert projectile vomits in a bartender's face)
- Dini Dimakos:The next time some guy grabs my ass on the street, I'll be like (mimics projectile vomiting) How do you like that?! (on "Pretty Handsome Awkward by The Used)
Episode 3.05[edit]
- Trevor Boris: Fuck Disneyand, I wanna go to Mexico for the gay zebras! (on Icky Thump" by The White Stripes)
Episode 3.07[edit]
(music video dialogue:Who's Soulja Boy?!)
- Ward Anderson: Only the greatest guy in the world! ( on Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy)
(Every clip of the chorus "...superman dat ho" is compiled and in between each clip, Ward Anderson interjects)
- Ward Anderson: You! ( on Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy)
Episode 3.09[edit]
- Dini Dimakos: Sounds like a diseases, I have the Pipettes. ( on Pull Shapes by The Pipettes)
Episode 3.12[edit]
- Andrew Johnston: You lied to me... you told me you were a chick. Oh my god, she is such a tranny. (on "Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5)
Episode 3.14[edit]
- Josh Ramsay: Twenty bucks says ten years from now, Britney Spears is trying to sleep with her kids' friends. She's fifty pounds overweight and she's going, "YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!" (on "Piece of Me" by Britney Spears)
- Josh Ramsay: I wonder if the story is, like, one of those lost in translation things... It makes sense in Swedish, but in English, it's a little like when you're going around Ikea and you're like, "Oh, I want to have this chair, but its name is 'Svinlodenlinlin.'" (on "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives)
Episode 3.16[edit]
- Dini Dimakos:Ah, little Heidi, are you all tired from memorizing the lines for your reality show? (on Higher by Heidi Montag)
- Ron Sparks: He says he's always there. He is always there. Coming over the same hill. (on "I'm Always Here" by Jimi Jamison)
Episode 3.20[edit]
- Andrew Johnston: Sexiest bitch in this video, right there. That 70-year old woman and her dog. (on "We Like to Party" by Vengaboys)
Episode 3.21[edit]
- Ron Sparks: This funeral is being preceeded over by Gandalf! The wise! (on "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic)
Episode 3.22[edit]
- Laurie Elliott: I just realized if Timbaland married Justin, he would be Timbaland Timberlake! (on "4 Minutes" by Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland)
- Sabrina Jalees: So when the song ends, the girl starts clapping like; "I guess it wasn't totally crap". (On "Here (In Your Arms)" by Hellogoodbye)
Season 4[edit]
Episode 4.01[edit]
- Debra DiGiovanni: Let me guess, this is the parking lot of Robin's condo isn't it? (on "Stupid Shit" by Girlicious)
- Debra DiGiovanni: Someone clearly did not get hugs when they were kids. (on "Psychosocial" by Slipknot)
Episode 4.06[edit]
- Debra DiGiovanni: Hey look an old timey microphone does it cost 45 cents? (on "Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf feat Lil Wayne)
- Trevor Boris: Welcome to the 50s diner from hell! (on "Thunder" by Boys Like Girls)
- Sara Hennesssey: They're playing in the rain like those old (a commercial plays for) Herbal Essences commercials where women use it in public and start screaming YES! YES! YES! (on "Thunder" by Boys Like Girls)
Episode 4.13[edit]
- Boomer Phillips: You can just tell Beyonce passed on this one. 'Give it to Slango or whatever the hell my sister's name is.' (on "Sandcastle Disco" by Solange Knowles)
- Dini Dimakos: She dresses like what our grandparents thought hookers in the future would dress like. (on "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga)
Episode 4.18[edit]
(Music video dialogue: Did you miss me?)
- Boomer Phillips: Dude, I've been worried sick! (on "We Made You" by Eminem)
Season 5[edit]
Episode 5.13[edit]
- Trixx: Are you gonna make out with a girl?
Season 6[edit]
Episode 6.04[edit]
- Sara Hennessey: Wait, that waiter's her brother! Don't date your brother! (on "Mine" by Taylor Swift)
- Laurie Elliott: Ooh, the waiter does look the male version of Taylor Swift. (on "Mine" by Taylor Swift)
- Sara Hennessey: And the incest award goes to Taylor Swift! Thank you, thank you. (on "Mine" by Taylor Swift)
- Eddie Della Sieppe: (In the music video, Taylor Swift is under a willow tree with photos hanging by strings) When they get older, they'll be like, ok kids, everyone gather around the Facebook tree and we'll tell you all about how your parents met each other. (on "Mine" by Taylor Swift)
Episode 6.07[edit]
(In the music video, the song's title is displayed on the screen)
- Debra DiGiovanni: Now I will tell you off the top, that is not how you spell champagne. I am pretty sure there's a 'g' in it. (on "Shampain" by Marina and the Diamonds)
Episode 6.08[edit]
(In the music video, Dirt Nasty is shown at a bar mitzvah)
- Hunter Collins: Now this how you throw a bar mitzvah. Man, my bar mitzvah was the worst. Everyone was just yelling at me, like, "You didn't learn the Scriptures! Why are you wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey? You're 25! You aren't even Jewish!", and I was like, "Just give me your money and presents already." (on "I Can't Dance" by Dirt Nasty featuring LMFAO)
Episode 6.19[edit]
(In the music video, Kesha and James Van Der Beek shoot at each other with guns that fire rainbows, killing various unicorns in the proccess)
- Trevor Boris: Oh, this is good to know. So now, if you're ever attacked by unicorns...which don't exist...just shoot them with rainbows...which isn't possible. (on "Blow" by Kesha)
Episode 6.21[edit]
(In the music video, a woman pushes a man who is bleeding from the head out of a moving car in the desert)
- Boomer Phillips: This is damn double-standard bullshit at its best. If this was the guy pushing the girl out of the car because she had a head wound, never be aired! But if it's the girl pushing the guy out, totally fine! (on "Rill Rill" by Sleigh Bells)
Season 8[edit]
Episode 8.18[edit]
- Julia Hladkowicz: This video makes me want to take away my own women's right to vote. (on "Big Banana" by Havana Brown)
- Sabrina Jalees: I can just imagine the meeting Havana has with the record producers. They were probably like; "Ok Havana what do you want to do a song about? (dumb voice) Banana... (normal voice) Just bananas? (dumb voice) Actually, big bananas. (on "Big Banana" by Havana Brown)