Wings (NBC TV series)

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Wings (1989-1997) is a situation comedy , airing on NBC. The series took place at the airport in Nantucket, Massachusetts and focused on the life of Joe Hackett, a pilot who owned Sandpiper Air, a one-route airline that took passengers from Nantucket to mainlaid Massachusetts. Joe originally hoped to run it as a mom-and-pop business with his fiancee Carol working as ticket agent, but when Joe's careless brother Brian ran off with Joe's bride-to-be, it created a rift between the two which lasted for years. After the death of their father, his will brings the two together again.

Season 1[edit]

Legacy [1.01][edit]

Brian: You look a little tired.
Joe: No, I'm fine.
Brian: Hey, I know you Joe. You're the best pilot around but you're doing too much. You're running the office, you're flying the planes you keep this pace up you're gonna end up like Howard Hughes, locked in a hotel, sitting on Kleenex, sucking apple sauce through a straw.
Lowell: Isn't that something. All that money and his hobbies are the same as mine.
Brian: Really? He also used to collect toenail clippings and keep them in a mason jar.
Lowell: This is uncanny.

Joe: It never fails, every time I fly, I come back a little surer there's a God.
Lowell: I go down to the dump and shoot rats.

Around the World in Eighty Years [1.02][edit]

Fay: Announcing the arrival of Sandpiper flight 18 from Boston, Massachusetts, the cradle of liberty. No, wait that's Philadelphia. The city with big shoulders, no that's Chicago. Gateway to the west, no. I know Boston's something.

Roy: It just so happens I've been keeping an eye on him. He just sits there morning to night reading his paper, taking the occasional nap, minding his own business. I don't trust him.
Brian: Quick Helen call the SWAT team there's a guy loose in the airport minding his own business.
Joe: You ought to introduce yourself Brian, maybe he gives lessons.

Return to Nantucket (1) [1.03][edit]

Brian: That's it, it's over I'm doomed. Everything bad in the world always happens to me.
Lowell: Plane's fixed.
Brian: That's it, see all you have to do is keep a positive attitude.

Fay: I just talked to the man upstairs.
Lowell: You just talked to the man upstairs?
Fay: Yes. Frank.
Lowell: God's name is Frank?
Fay: No--yes, that's right, Lowell.

Return to Nantucket (2) [1.04][edit]

Joe: Look what she is doing to us Brian. The last time she came between us we didn't speak for six years. Now, I don't want that to happen again, do you?
Brian: No.
Joe: Now, one of us has been up front with you. One of us has told you the truth, and only one of us really cares about you.
Brian: Just my luck it's you.

Carol: Brian, I'm so sorry if I hurt you. It's just I feel like I'm being torn apart. I mean, half of me wants you and all the craziness that goes with you. But the other half wants Joe, so strong and solid.
Brian: [to Joe] You can have the half of her that cooks.
Joe: How can you joke about this?
Brian: Because it's what I do.

There Once Was a Girl from Nantucket [1.05][edit]

Brian: Joe, Joey, quitting time. What's say we go get a couple of beers and scoop out the chickage.
Joe: Chickage?
Brian: You know, chicks. Dames, babes, broads, skirts, honeys, honeys, honeys.
Joe: I get it, I get it.
Brian: You sure? 'Cause I know these 38 different euphemisms, more if you get into specific body parts.
Joe: You must be very proud.

Helen: A date?
Brian: That's right, you've seen 'em on TV. Now have one of your very own.

All for One and Two for Helen [1.06][edit]

Season 2[edit]

The Puppetmaster [2.01][edit]

Helen: [to Joe] Don't pucker up like Dudley-Do-Right, just relax your lips.

The Story of Joe [2.02][edit]

A Little Nightmare Music [2.03][edit]

Sports & Leisure [2.04][edit]

[Helen, Joe, Brian and Fay come in soaked and miserable. Only one who is dry is Roy, who is laughing uproariously]
Roy: I cannot believe you fell for that! You should have seen the looks on your faces when you dove in!
Joe: [enraged] Gosh Roy, maybe there is a time to lighten up. I guess people tend to take it too seriously when they hear "Fire, fire, abandon ship!"

A Standup Kind of Guy [2.05][edit]

At a bachelor party
Men{in unison}: Nudity, nudity!
Joe: I now give you: Salome, and her Dance of the Seven Veils!
Men cheer; a veiled stripper enters room. After removing one veil, she trips and lands towards man of honor
Stripper: Jerry Stark?
Jerry Stark: Roberta?
Joe: You know him?!
Roberta: Yes, we went to Sconset High School together. After I graduated I lost touch but I never forgot about you.
Jerry: We have a lot of catching up to do.
Jerry departs room with Roberta
Joe: How about that? Someone actually knows who Jerry Stark is.
Brian: That's nice Joe, but now we have another problem.
Men{in unison}: Nudity, nudity!

It's Not the Thought, It's the Gift [2.06][edit]

Helen is watching old footage of her childhood. Brian is doing something then quickly gets restrained by Mrs. Hackett
Helen: There goes Brian again!
Joe: You know, the way my mother always yelled, until I was eight I thought his name was Brianstopit!

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Policewoman Scorned [2.07][edit]

High Anxiety [2.08][edit]

Friends or Lovers? [2.09][edit]

Joe: [to Helen] You're alluring and desirable... and something else and when I sleep you dance through the Netherlands.

There's Always Room for Cello [2.10][edit]

Joe: I played some ball in high school too.
Roy: Played semi-pro myself. Had guys like you for lunch.
Joe: [looking at Roy's belly] Must have had quite a few of them.

Helen: OK R.J. let us practice note by note. Before we begin let me say you are older than most of my students so the books I have are geared for younger kids. Please do not think it is an insult to your intelligence.
Roy "R.J." Biggins Junior: No problem.
Helen opens book
Helen: OK, this mama hen represents the whole note and these baby hens are symbolic of the eighth notes.
R.J.: Look, a rabbit!
Helen: OK, I think you got the hang of it.

A Terminal Christmas [2.11][edit]

Airport '90 [2.12][edit]

Love Is Like Pulling Teeth [2.13][edit]

Helen has just undergone oral surgery
Helen: Woe, dood u et da qillow?
Joe: Pardon?
Helen: Illow!
Joe gets pillow
Helen: Dank oo.
Joe: Sorry, it is just a little hard to understand with your mouth stuffed with cotton. Could you just say for me "You have dishonored the Corleone family"?
Helen: Ruck woo!
Joe: No need to repeat, I got that one!

Unbeknowst to Helen, Joe is hosting a college basketball party while she is asleep. Guys are cheering the Boston College-Providence College game which concludes. When Joe goes to check on Helen, she is gone
Joe: Helen must have been sleepwalking! She could not have gotten far, she was there when I checked just before third period. Boston College, you guys look on the street; Providence College fans comb the beach!
Partygoers go look for Helen; next morning Helen is back in bed and recovered
Helen: Joe, I appreciate you taking care of me and willing to sacrfice watching the game with the guys.
Joe: Hey, that is what being in a relationship is all about.
Helen: I just had the weirdest dream that I was walking near the lighthouse and some guys led me home.
Joe: Well, you know the doctor used some heavy anesthesia!

The Tennis Bum [2.14][edit]

Brian: I couldn't have possibly done it, either, because I was dressing a pig in the coach's wife's lingerie at the time.
Joe: You were wearing lingerie or the pig was?
Brian: I was. What do you take me for, a pervert?

Lowell: Captain Jazzbo? You've murdered Captain Jazzbo!!! I'll see you fry for this, Biggins!

My Brother's Back - And There's Gonna Be Trouble [2.15][edit]

Brian: I'd like to see Joe without his color-coded binder. I got this all under control.
Kenny{exasperated}: Mr. Hackett, the plane is missing!

An exhausted Brian has dealt with all the headaches when the disappeared plane mysteriously reappears. Slumped in his chair Joe returns from his FAA medical testing
Brian: Joe! I am so glad you are back.
Joe: Glad to be appreciated. How did it go?
Brian: I am glad the day is over.
Joe: Well, you sound beat. Something happen?
Brian: Joe, you are not going to believe this but, the plane vanished from the hangar!
Joe: I know.
Brian: You know?!
Joe: Of course; the men from New Bedford took the plane up to inspect it for the 100-hour check. Didn't you know, it was all there under the yellow section of the binder, which had the day's planned events.
Brian grimaces

Plane Nine From Nantucket [2.16][edit]

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places [2.17][edit]

Love Means Never Having to Say Geronimo [2.18][edit]

All in the Family [2.19][edit]

Joe: If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas.

Mother Wore Stripes [2.20][edit]

Murder She Roast [2.21][edit]

Duet for Plane and Cello [2.22][edit]

Helen: You care more about this stupid plane than you do about me!
Joe: Me? You are the one with the cello between her legs eight hours a day!
Helen: Well, at least that gives me some satisfaction!
Joe: Yeah, well, at least when I am in the plane I get some sense of movement!

Season 7[edit]

Burning Down the House, Part I [7.01][edit]

Helen's residence. Brian and Casey start passionately making out and go upstairs to have sex. They fail to see they threw their clothes near an active fireplace, which sparks and starts to burn the clothes
Master bedroom
Brian: You were great. It is so hot in here, you are smoking.
Casey: Smoke!
Brian: Don't need to.
Sirens are heard on street
Casey: No Brian, there is smoke! Did you put out the fireplace?
Brian: I guess. No need to worry.
Firemen break down door of master bedroom
Brian: Smoke, there is fire! AUGH! Why didn't anyone tell me!

After Casey lets it slip about the fire when Joe did not know the cause at first
Joe: Let me get this straight Brian, you caused the fire? But the worse part it, all this time you knew and said nothing when I was blaming myself or thinking it was fault wiring or some accident.
Brian: Well, Joe, it was hard to say.
Joe: You know Brian, this is not the first time you have pulled a stunt like this. When you ran off with my first fiancee Carol, I was angry, until Dad's death convinced me not to bear a grudge. It has been like this for years, you get in over your head doing something stupid, I get mad, I calm down, I forgive you, then I am the one stuck cleaning up the mess you made! Now that I am married I have to say no more. You burned down the house; what if that happened when you were babysitting the children Helen and I plan to have? Well, that is a risk I cannot take. I want you out.
Brian: You are right, I should get lost for a bit.
Joe: Not just that Brian, I want you out of my life.
Brian: Out of your life?!
Joe: I will buy you out of the landholding mortgage and I will buy you out of Sandpiper. After that, I go my way and you go yours.
Screen crawl: TO BE CONTINUED

Burning Down the House, Part II [7.02][edit]

Brian: Joe, look what I found.
Joe: Dad's briefcase, so?
Brian: It was undamaged by the fire! And look at this, the picture Dad left for us! Know what this means?
Joe: Yeah, it means the nut house knew exactly what they were doing when they captured Dad by luring him into their van by waving a Chunky in front of him.

Brian: But Joe, the picture. Don't you know what it says?
Joe: Yeah, "You are rich". Why are you telling me this Brian? Did you expect to show me this and I would lighten up and say "Oh, you are right, all is forgiven"?
Brian: Are you really that serious about wanting me gone?
Man enters Sandpiper office
Brian: Who are you?
Man: Oh, this must be the second party.
Brian: Second party?
Man: I have been retained to oversee that the partnership of Sandpiper Air be dissolved. Here is my card.
Man hands Brian business card
Business Card #1{dictated by Brian}: Al Skoog, Carpet Cleaners and Steaming Service. Do not just clean it, Skoogerize it!!
Brian: What??
Al Skoog: Sorry, that is my other business. Here is the right card.
Mr. Skoog hands Brian another business card
Business Card #2{dictated by Brian}: Al Skoog, Attorney at Law. Admitted to the bar in West Virginia and Massachusetts. We are not just good, we are Skoogerific!
Joe: Mr. Skoog comes highly recommended. I want to make sure this is done nice and legal.
Brian: You are dead serious about getting rid of me; I can't believe it!
Brian departs Sandpiper office
Joe: I do not understand how he just does not get it!
Al Skoog: You look a little down. Tell you what, I own a pub crosstown. Give this coupon to the bartender. He will give you a free pitcher of Skoogeritas.

Death Becomes Him [7.03][edit]

Brian: Eleanor Kingsbury will understand. After all, the Kingsburies are people like us.
Fay: No, they are people who squash people like us! Do you not remember what happened to Sconset Air?
Brian: Who was Sconset Air?
Joe: Our predecessors. They were the men who had the counter before Sandpiper Air opened up shop.
Brain: So what happened?
Fay: Eleanor Kingsbury took a flight on Sconset Air and they misplaced one of her bags. In the eleven minutes it took them to find it she had their mortgage called in and their credit line revoked. Before moving away, the owners were last seen making slushees at the Stop & Shop.
Brian: If she did that to Sconset Air for them losing her luggage, imagine what she will do to us once she finds out we lost her daddy!


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