Wizard People, Dear Reader
Wizard People, Dear Reader (2004) is a "book on tape" meant to be played over Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in lieu of its original audio track. This exercise in hilarity was created by Brad Neely and hosted on Illegal-Art[1].
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Narrator: The crowd goes absolutely bazonkers! The champions in red and yellow are the victors, and Harry is spent. The crowd is destroying its throats calling Harry’s name. Harry feels right with himself. He’s down there, a new god who has found a calling. He holds up that Snitch and bellows: ‘I am a beautiful animal! ‘I am a destroyer of worlds! ‘I am Harry Fucking Potter!’ And, dear readers, at last the world was quiet.
Narrator: And Harry responds, 'I wish you luck on not hating your parents for mixing up such an unthinkable person'. (To Snake)
Narrator: Just as it all is coming together, a special delivery is dropped for Harry by a post office bird. The package is looked on dubiously, but soon the three tear away the paper wondering at its contents. 'Wilikers! The broom I wanted way back in Calgon Alley! The Necromo Denembros Alafosagoso! Who could have done this?!' Well, well. Maybe...maybe it was Softcastle McCormick. Wink wink, Harry. Wink. Wink.
