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- [irked at the police chasing him, speaking to camera] These monkeys are chasing me because I just took this car. Obviously the car doesn't belong to me, it's not my style. It belongs to Dick, Dick Hodgkiss, the California state senator. You remember Dick, he's the one who tried to ban rock music because he says the lyrics promote violence. It's music, Dick! He's also the guy who wants to pull every video game off every shelf in the country, because he believes that the video games diminish the intelligence of our youth. Come on, Dick. It's the only education we got. Dick, you're a bad man. And you know what we do with bad men, we punish them. Dick, you've just entered The Xander Xone. [drives off a bridge, jumps out of the car and parachutes to the ground as the car explodes] Moral is, DON'T BE A DICK, DICK!
- [Having blown up Kirill by homing his rocket in on his cigarette] I told him that cigarette would kill him one day!
- J.J.:[referring to Xander's illegal stunt] Look, you need to just lay low for a while.
- Xander: Don't worry, alright? I'm untouchable. [SWAT team burst in and everyone at the party runs] Alright, alright, I'll turn the music down! [SWAT member shoots him with a tranquilizer dart] Ow! [pulls dart from his chest] It was only a Corvette...
- [Plane ramp begins to lower]
- T.J.: Oh, hell no! Pull that thing up, are you crazy! [soldiers wave bye-bye]
- Xander: I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT! [Xander and the others parachute out of the plane]
- [Xander survives the Colombian Army raid on a drug plantation and sees Augustus Gibbons]
- Gibbons: All I want you to do is meet some people and find out whatever you can about them.
- Xander: What type of people?
- Gibbons: Dangerous, dirty, tattooed, uncivilized. Your kind of people.
- Xander: Hold up. My kind of people would say. "Kiss my ass, Scarface!"
- Gibbons: See, this is usually the point where I take out my gun and ask you very politely to do what I want. But you're not the type who's afraid of death. So I guess this puts us in a quandary, doesn't it?
- Xander: So I guess we better call this a day, then?
- Gibbons: Not just yet. You ever watch lions at the zoo? You can always tell which ones were captured in the wild by the look in their eyes. The wildcat. See, he remembers running across the plains, the thrill of the hunt. Four hundred pounds of killing fury locked in a box. But after a while their eyes start to glaze over, and you can tell their soul has died. The same thing happens to a man. Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary is no joke. They'll take a wild man like you and throw him in solitary just for the fun of it. No more mountains to board, no more oceans to surf. Just a six by eight cell with no windows, and no litter bucket to shit in. But you can avoid all that by doing this one small favor for me.
- Xander: You don't have shit on me!
- Gibbons: I notice you have three X's tattooed on the back of your neck. I think that's rather appropriate seeing as you're looking at three strikes. Grand theft auto, reckless endangerment, and that little bridge stunt of yours? Makes you three-time loser. Maybe you should call yourself "Triple X". But if you do want, I'll make all your recent criminal transgressions go away and let you get back to that pathetic excuse of a life.
- Xander: You think maybe I should be like you? Get all strut up with stars and stripes? I bet that flag is a real comfort every time you look in the mirror.
- Gibbons: A small price I paid for putting foot to ass for my country. So, what's it going to be, Triple X? You want to get on a plane? Or is "Kiss my ass, Scarface" your final answer?
- [NSA agent Toby Lee Shavers shows X his special 44 Magnum revolver]
- Toby Lee Shavers: Knocked over a few 7-Elevens, have we?
- Xander Cage: Nah, I had my leg in a cast for about three months. All I did was play first-person shooter video games.
- Shavers: That's a really sad story.
- Yorgi: Now that business is over, we party.
- Kolya: Bitches, come!
- Xander: I wish I had a camera!
- Yelena: Why?
- Xander: Because this is gonna be one hell of a trick!
- A New Breed Of Secret Agent.
- Vin Diesel - Xander Cage
- Asia Argento - Yelena
- Marton Csokas - Yorgi
- Samuel L. Jackson - Agent Augustus Gibbons
- Michael Roof - Agent Toby Lee Shavers
- Petr Jákl - Kolya