Adam Sandler

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Adam Richard Sandler (born September 9, 1966) is an American comedian, actor, musician, screenwriter, and film producer.


  • I kidnap children from bathrooms
    I eat the children for breakfast
    They were so young
    Yum Yum Yum
  • Paul Newman's half Jewish
    and Florence Henderson's half, too
    Put them together,
    What a fine looking Jew!
    • The Chanukah Song.

They're All Going To Laugh At You! (1993)[edit]

  • Why, you fucking hard-on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk your fucking head with a Louisville fucking slugger! What do you think of that, assfuck!?
  • You fucking bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the fucking toll, you dirty whore! I'll fucking drop you with a boot to your fucking skull, you cum-guzzling queen!
  • Yeah, you fucking prick! I hope you choke on a fucking bottle cap, you fucking son of a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!!
  • Oh, have another one, you fucking lush! It's not my fault the bartender cut you off last night, you fucking douche-bag!
  • We-he-hell, I already heard that one, you fucking unoriginal bastard! Go suck a cock, you piece of fucking, repeating shit!
  • Fuck you, you fucking, uppity bitch! I'll fucking fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fucking mothers! You're going to die, bitch! I'm coming out of the booth!
  • Why, you fucking pricks! I fucking hear every fucking word you're saying! When this fucking leg heals, I'm going to kick you guys' new fucking assholes!
  • Fucking shit!

What The Hell Happened To Me!? (1996)[edit]

  • I wanted to see the fucking score! What do you got to do that's so fucking important? You can't join the religious cult with me!
  • Hey, that last skit was written for a reason. If any of your buddies had fooled around with a sixty year old man, don't throw them out of your car, or you will die. Now, enjoy the rest of the album!

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