Commute with me, my Love, and be merry; How vain in the City to dwell When apple-trees blow in Dobbs' Ferry And lilacs adorn New Rochelle! White Plains is the Garden of Allah And Pelham's the Pearl of the Sea; There's bliss in the name of Valhalla -- Oh, fly to the Suburbs with me!
Oh, who would choose to be a traveler? -- That anxious railway-guide unraveler Who spends his nights in berths and bunks, His days in chaperoning trunks; Who stands in line at gates and wickets To spend his means on costly tickets To Irkutsk, Liverpool and Yap And other dots upon the map.
The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls Of mastodons, are billiard balls. The sword of Charlemagne the Just Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust. The grizzly bear, whose potent hug, Was feared by all, is now a rug. Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf, And I don't feel so well myself.