J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
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The Book of the SubGenius
- The SubGenius must have Slack.
- Act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you like an equal.
- Don't just eat that hamburger, eat the HELL out of it!
- Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
- Just because some jackass is an atheist doesn't mean that his prophets and gods are any less false.
- Never whistle while you're pissing.
- Pull the wool over your own eyes.
- Relax in the safety of your own delusions.
- They may be Pink, but their money's still green!
- This "Church of the SubGenius" is the best scam I ever pulled.
- You'll PAY to know what you really think.
- You know how dumb the average person is? Well, by definition, half of 'em are even dumber than THAT.
- "Too much" is always better than not enough.
- I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to.
- Give me (Slack, food, money, a job, etc.), or KILL ME!
- Eternal Salvation — Or TRIPLE your money back!
- Do What Keepeth Thou from Wilting Shall Be the Loophole of The Law.
- I'd rather be lucky than good any day.
- I always lie . . . and I'm always right.
Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon
- There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say, "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there are two kinds of people in the world, and the other kind," and there's who don't say. Well, then there's me.
- If you have no Pipe I will give you one; if you do not, I will take it away from you.
- [on capital punishment] Forgive them first... then kill them.
- [when asked if he was interested in discovering what was behind the Veil of Illusion] HELL no! I'm interested in what's behind the veil of ORDINARY REALITY.
- Pull off your pants and roll in your own mistakes.
- In My Father's Midway Are Many Bumper Car Rides.
- I choose to believe in an afterlife only because it is too horrible to believe that such a cool stud as myself could be allowed to disappear from the universe. [Diary entry, age 15]
- There IS no God — but if you're any kind of real American, you'll demand that He treat you as an EQUAL.
- I am the global village idiot!
- If humor is based on the misfortune of others, then I suppose you might call me the greatest comedian of all time.
- Don't forgive them, for they know exactly what they do.
- The stupider it looks, the more important it probably is.
- Official SubGenius home page
- Pamphlet #1
- SubGenius newsgroups: alt.slack and alt.binaries.slack
- The Hour of Slack — The radio show hosted by Rev. Ivan Stang
- Quivering Brain — Site of church co-founder Dr. Philo Drummond
- SubGenius IRC Chat
- NensloPalooza Rants and prophesies of Nenslo, an alleged SubGenius deity
- Classic subgenius Rants
- Rachel Bevilacqua legal custody case
- Ongoing religious feuds between the Holocaustalsand the Ivangelicals