Bones (season 2)

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Bones (2031–2023) is a crime drama television series on the FOX Network, inspired by real-life forensic anthropologist and novelist, Kathy Reichs. Forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan specializes in reading clues left behind in a victim's bones. Consequently, law enforcement calls her in to assist with murder investigations when the remains are so badly decomposed, burned, or destroyed that the standard identification methods are useless.

The Titan on the Tracks [2.1][edit]

Cam: Hey, Hodge-Podge, all engines reverse. First we identify beyond a shadow of a doubt. Then we get paranoid.
Hodgins: Cool. As long as paranoia's on the schedule somewhere.

Brennan: Tell me that's not a real skeleton.
Zack: No, we made him out of calcium phosphate and hydroxyapatite.
Hodgins: And spam.

Cam: If it happens again, I will take action. And I am from New York, which means that I will take New York action. Am I clear?
Brennan: Not at all.
Zack: I'm from Michigan.
Hodgins: Dr Saroyan means she'll make us watch musical theatre.

Brennan: Don't you have to read him his rights before you strangle him?

The Mother and Child in the Bay [2.2][edit]

Cam: I love being a hero.
Brennan: A heroine.
Cam: Mmm, sounds too druggie. I'm going with hero.

Cam: What do you want?
Angela: George Clooney naked on a white sand beach, but I can give you faces after the skull's reconstructed.

Brennan': Committing yourself to one person isn't in the interest of the species. I mean, you have multiple partners.
Angela: Don't say it like that - I date.
Brennan: The notion of a committed relationship, it's fantasy. Look at Booth, fighting with his ex, his son caught in the middle.
Angela: We make our lives out of chaos and hope. And love. Someday you'll meet somebody.
Brennan: I don't need anything more than I have now.
Angela: Talk about a fantasy.

Hodgins: Ah, It's beautiful here.
Booth: Yeah, because you know that's important for a murder.

Cam: The last place I worked at had a drunk sketch artist...

The Boy in the Shroud [2.3][edit]

Hodgins: That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Zack: Romeo and Juliet, Act Two, Scene Two. The quote concerned most aptly describes the central conflict of the play. Which I totally do not understand.

Angela: It's a strange place for two people in love to end up.
Hodgins: What, a forensics lab?
Angela: No, a squat in an abandoned pipe factory.
Hodgins: Right, yes, right...

[Hodgins interrupts Cam, Angela, Brennan and Zack with news that he has a critical piece of evidence]
Angela: [smiles] You are good!
Hodgins: [grins at Angela] Oh, you have no idea.
Zack: [incredulously] Are you having a moment? [Hodgins' smiles fades and he glares at Zack]

Brennan: He [Booth] reads the people the way that you read pathology reports or I read bones.

The Blonde in the Game [2.4][edit]

Booth: Do you have a dog, Bones?
Brennan: I always wanted a pig...
Booth: A pig?
Brennan: Very smart, despite the popular misconception, very clean.

Booth: Run her through the database, get an ID.
Cam: Why don't you just ask him?
Booth: Well because the last time Bones saw Epps, it got violent.
Cam: You'll be there to protect her.
Booth: She's not the one who needs protecting. Bones broke his wrist.
Brennan: He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.
Cam: Better not take Dr. Brennan.

Booth: What's that?
Brennan: Religious medal. Sarah had it in her possession.
Booth: Saint Agnes. Patron saint of young women especially those who remain pure.
Brennan:How do you know all that?
Booth: I'm Catholic, Bones.
Brennan: "S.A.H.S."
Booth: Yeah, St. Agnes High School. Except I think Sarah Koskoff went to public school. [pauses] Oh, God.
Brennan: What? What does that mean?
Booth: [with dread] It means I have to go talk to a nun.

Booth: You know, if you had a pet pig, what would you name him?
Brennan: [looking at him as though the answer is obvious] Jasper.

Hodgins: I can't just guess, I have a process!

Booth: Got something for ya.
Brennan: A bottle of hard liquor?
Booth: Next best thing. (takes a small pig figurine out of his pocket, puts it in the palm of his hand, and moves very close to Brennan) Meet Jasper. (both smiling, Brennan takes Jasper from Booth's hand and looks at it) You're gonna be okay?
Brennan: Yeah.
Booth: Definitely.

The Truth in the Lye [2.5][edit]

Angela: Maybe he dissolved himself so there'd be more of him to go around... I'm going to hell, aren't I?
Hodgins: I'll save you a seat.

Zack: I'm going on police business.
Hodgins: So proud. [to Cam] Wait, does he mean out? In the world?
Cam: We'll pin our phone number on his shirt.

Brennan: Are you sure this is the best time to tell them?
Booth: After two days of nagging me, it's just now you're getting cold feet?
Brennan: I don't nag.
Booth: [dismisses Brennan] Oh, well, you know, it's an anthropological inevitability for women to gossip and nag.

Hodgins: Man, what I would've given to be a fly on the wall when you told those wives.
Brennan: You would've been swatted, trust me.

Angela: What you thought were teeth marks, Dr. Saroyan, turned out to be Chinese characters engraved along the side.
Hodgins: What do they say?
Angela: They say, "What make foolish man think I speak Chinese?"
Hodgins: I thought you were half Chinese!
Angela: And I think you're half Swedish. Let's hear some Swedish!

The Girl in Suite 2103 [2.6][edit]

Booth: So maybe the bomber got caught by his own explosion.
Brennan: Her own explosion.
Booth: Wait — the bomber was a female?
Brennan: Sciatic arch. Doesn't lie.
Cam: Neither does the vagina.

Hodgins: Oh, I could kiss you.
Angela: But that would require permission, which I deny.

Booth: Come on Alex, baby steps. [realizes his mistake] No offence.
Brennan: [laughs] I just got that. It's baby steps because you're so small. It's probably offensive.
Alex: Sorry, I can't help you.
Brennan: Sorry.

Booth: We cheat diplomatic immunity here in DC, we catch a murderer. That's great. They do it in Upper Kamikazestan and our boys end up on a red-hot spit over a slow fire.
Brennan: There's no such place as Kamikazestan.

[Booth and Brennan observing Hodgins approached and led away by federal agents]
Brennan: Shouldn't we do something?
Booth: You kidding? Hodgins being abducted by men in black? It's a dream come true.

The Girl with the Curl [2.7][edit]

Angela: Childhood should be all about swings.
Hodgins: Swings?
Angela: Yeah, you know, how high can I go? If I twist the chains, how fast will I spin?
Hodgins: Or if I try and jump off before the swing stops.
Angela: Exactly.
Hodgins: I miss that feeling.
Angela: Yeah. Me, too.
Brennan: I miss organic chemistry class. Those were good times.
Zack: I miss my first microscope.
Booth: [sarcastically] Great, yeah, and I miss normal people. Can we go on?

Hodgins: Listen, Angela, we've been dancing around this for months now, like two pieces of neodymium caught in a magnetic field.
Angela: Is that good?
Hodgins: Yeah. But if the field weakens, they fly apart.

Brennan: And when she won it reflected well on you. That way you wouldn't have to deal with your own physical identity.
Mrs. Swanson: [looks at Brennan in disbelief then looks at Booth] I don't like her.

Angela: Hodgins asked me out.
Brennan: Is that why you're hiding in here?
Angela: I'm not hiding. I need advice.
Brennan: What, on a personal matter?
Angela: Yes.
Brennan: From me?
Angela: Yes.
Brennan: But romance is sort of... This is like me asking you advice on phylogenetic systematics.
Angela: Phylogenetic systematics. I have no idea what that is.
Brennan: Exactly.

Brennan: [on the phone to Booth] You might as well let her go, Booth.
Booth: Why?
Zack: She has very nice, symmetrical buttocks.
Booth: [speechless]

The Woman in the Sand [2.8][edit]

Brennan: They call this America's playground?
Booth: We're 15 miles outside of Vegas, Bones. This is America's frying pan.

Booth: I don't want anyone knowing we're FBI.
Brennan: That's easy for me, I'm not.

[Brennan is holding an icepack to Booth's head]
Agent Sugarman: Sorry Booth, I just couldn't have you blowing my cover.
Booth: [grins at Sugarman] Hahhh...yeah, as they taught us in Quantico, Walt, I wasn't about to.
Brennan: Do you know everyone in this town?

Cam: Ok, Marisol. You're not under arrest. You're just here as evidence. So, when this nice agent leaves you here--
Marisol: I'm gonna kick your skinny ass.
[Zack, Angela and Hodgins all look at Marisol in shock.]
Cam: [unamused] Honey, I'm from the Bronx, don't think for a second you scare me.

Booth: You never told me the second reason why ya, why you bet on me.
Brennan: Yeah, it was silly.
Booth: No come on, try me.
Brennan: Beginner's luck. I haven't lost at anything since I've been here so I... I figured if I bet on you then...
Booth: I couldn't lose.
Brennan: Sounds silly, right?
Booth: It sounds familiar. Thanks.
Brennan: You're welcome.

Aliens in a Spaceship [2.9][edit]

Hodgins: (not knowing Angela is in the room) You haven't figured out the stun-gun, then I am this week's "King of the Lab" because I found something huge.
Angela: You compete to be "King of the Lab"?
Hodgins: (surprised) No. (laughs nervously) Hey, Angela. I didn't know that you were ... this sucks. I'm gonna go catch Brennan, then bolt for the night

Cam: How are we going to get our hands on eight million dollars?
Zack: Hodgins is rich.
Cam: He is?
Zack: "Rich squared to the power of ten times four" is how he describes it.

Hodgins: (blurts) I'm nuts about Angela. Over the moon. Stupid in love with her. That's why I bought her that ... that crazy, expensive perfume. A man gives you a bottle of perfume like that, it says ... it says, "I love you". (Brennan nods) There. I said it out loud.

Hodgins: Someone ran me down with a car.
Brennan: We knew that already.
Hodgins: Yeah, but now that we've proved it, I find I'm really annoyed.

Booth: We're running out of time.
Zack: Minor correction. Dr. Brennan and Hodgins will run out of air in four seconds. We are out of time.

The Headless Witch in the Woods [2.10][edit]

Booth: Cause of death?
Brennan: Well, since I can't find a skull, I'd say... his head got cut off.

Zack: My palms perspired profusely during that film.

Booth: We're partners, you know, together all the time, all right? You're a woman, and I'm a man and I never had a relationship like this where we were, like, two guys — except you're not, you know, a guy.
Brennan: No. No, I'm not. Should I feel odd about wanting to hang out with Will?
Booth: No, of course not, you know, 'cause essentially you're a guy, like me, but not really.
Brennan: That would mean that to me, you are, essentially a woman. Yeah, I can see that.
Booth: No, no, no, no. I'd prefer not to be a woman, if you don't mind.
Brennan: I'm merely trying to follow your reasoning, Booth.

Booth: Our perceptions are always colored by what we hope, you know, what we fear, what we love. We do the best we can.
Brennan: I'm afraid my best isn't good enough. I can read bones, not people.
Booth: Well, you know, you had no trouble seeing through me.
Brennan: It's a good thing I like being alone.
Booth: You know what, Bones? You're not alone. Okay? Come here.
Brennan: Booth...
Booth: Hey, you're my partner. Okay, it's a guy-hug. Take it. [They hug in a very non-guy-hug way.]

Judas on a Pole [2.11][edit]

[Zack is defending his dissertation in front of Brennan and other board members when Booth walks in.]
Booth: Hey, Bones, come on. We've got a body. Went up like a Roman candle... [sees Zack and grins at him] Hey, Zack! How's it going?
Zack: So far they don't like me.
Booth: [deadpan] Shocker.

Booth: Okay, who else knows about this?
Hodgins: Us and you. That's it.
Booth: Let's keep it that way.
Hodgins: I've seen this movie. I get killed on the way home.
Booth: Then don't go home. [walks out]
Hodgins: [laughs, then stops abruptly] You serious?

Deputy Director Kirby: You're what's known as a real pain in the ass, Agent Booth.
Booth: Yes sir.
Kirby: I just had my testicles handed to me by the Attorney General of the United States of America.
[...]
Kirby: [...] You're suspended without pay. Gun, ID, security card, please.
Booth: Sir, I'm entitled to the reading of the charges against me.
Kirby: The charges against you are that I was pissed upon from a very great height!

Zack: Dr. Saroyan, when I get my doctorate, I'd like to work here.
Cam: [looks at Zack intently] Zack, you're an excellent scientist but an important part of the job is appearing as an expert witness in court.
Angela: Oooph.
Zack: Oooph what?
Cam: Jurors have to take you seriously and frankly, you look like a weekend fill-in at a college radio station.
Hodgins: [smiles at Zack sympathetically] Truth hurts, dude. Learn from it and grow.

Brennan: I'm just... I'm just one of those people who doesn't get to be in a family. That's—
Booth: [places his finger underneath her chin, lifting her head up] Listen, Bones, hey. There's more than one kind of family.

The Man in the Cell [2.12][edit]

Booth: [after an inmate attempts to touch Brennan through the prison bars] Woah woah, woah, you stay close, ok? A lot of these animals haven't seen a real woman since Reagan was president.

Angela: Did you really call me "the heart of the operation"?
Hodgins: Yeah. It was before you called me short.
Angela: Hey, Zack called you short. I think you're just the right height.
Hodgins: Yeah?
Angela: Short men have better leverage.
Zack: I'm feeling uncomfortable.

Angela: How do you deal with the fear?
Brennan: I have this. [takes out huge gun from her purse]
Angela: Oh, my God! That, that thing is huge. Whoa, wow, that's like movie huge.
[Booth enters.]
Booth: Where the hell did you get that?
Brennan: The mall.
Booth: [incredulously] The mall?
Brennan: Yeah. It's pretty big, right? Bigger than the one you have. [Angela chuckles]
Booth: Excuse me. It's not the size that matters. It's how you use it.
Brennan: Well, I think size is pretty important.
Booth: The point is that you shouldn't have a gun in the first place.
Angela: If you do have one, bigger is always better.
Booth: You're not helping.
Angela: Right. Yeah, this does seem like a private conversation.

Booth: What's that smell?
Brennan: It's mold. It grows in the fat creases of morbidly obese people.
Mrs. Epps: What is this about? Did you bring me here to make fun of me?
Brennan: I merely stated a fact, Mrs. Epps. You need to lose weight. Obesity also causes diabetes, heart damage, liver failure. Not to mention the wear it puts on your joints.
Mrs. Epps: I have a glandular condition. A little compassion and understanding, that's what I really need.

Zack: My doctor said most of my injuries didn't come from the explosion but from being slammed into the floor. [to Booth.] Apparently you're extremely strong.
Brennan: [to Booth.] Did you have to be so rough on him?
Booth: (plaintively) It was a bomb. I was being, you know, heroic.

The Girl in the Gator [2.13][edit]

[Booth is trying to listen to an important call, but an ice cream truck is playing loud music nearby]
Booth: [speaking into his phone] Did you say the Everglades? Look, I can't hear anything because of this INSANE MUSIC!
[Booth takes out his gun and shoots the musical clown head on the ice cream truck three times. The music stops playing. People nearby run and scream. Brennan is shocked.]
Ice cream man: YOU SHOT MY CLOWN!
Booth: [speaking into his phone] Great. Flight number?
Ice cream man: [off screen] Hey! Hey! Hey! He shot my clown!
Booth: Okay thanks. [turns to Brennan] Okay, we're all set.
Brennan: [still shocked by what just happened] That... was not good.
[The clown head's nose bursts into flame]

Angela: (to Zack) Just because you have a doctorate now does not mean I won't use you as a swizzle stick.

Wyatt: You know, in an effort to understand your culture better I've been trying to embrace this very American practice of preparing meat in the garden.
Booth: Barbeque.
Wyatt: Hmmm, it's a delightful word isn't it? Barbeque.

Zack: How would someone eat gold?
Angela: Not eat, drink. Goldenrod.
Brennan: Goldenrod?
Angela: It's this 100 proof cinnamon schnapps that we drank in college. It's infused with real gold flakes, purely for decadence sake.
Brennan: How did it taste?
Angela: Well, it's way worse coming up. I can tell you that.

Monte: (pointing at Brennan) This is you, isn't it?
Brennan: Please don't point your finger at me.
Monte: I knew the first time I saw you, here comes another feminist crusader, out to spoil some good, all-American fun. (shoves his hand close to Brennan's face; Brennan grabs his hand and twists it around his back) OW! Get off, get off!
Brennan: (to Sully) Self defense, he assaulted me.
Sully: Yes, he did.

The Man in the Mansion [2.14][edit]

Brennan: Why do you call your psychiatrist "Gordon Gordon"?
Booth: 'Cause that's how he introduces himself. You know, "Hi, I'm Gordon. Gordon Wyatt."
Brennan: Like "James. James Bond."
Booth: "Bond. James Bond." Not "James. James... James"... whatever.

Angela: For once can you just pretend that you're the girl?
Brennan: Why is everyone so anxious for me to be a girl?

Wyatt: Why don't we talk about the case you're working on at the moment?
Booth: Why?
Wyatt: Well, I am trained as a forensic psychologist. I might be able to help.
Booth: Okay, fine, great. I have a dead rich guy, works with at-risk youth, gets brutally murdered after confiscating a couple pounds of heroin from one of his kids.
Wyatt: Interesting that the first word you used to describe him is "rich."
Booth: Uh, second. The first description was "dead."

Hodgins: It's my letter of resignation.
Brennan: Your science was dead-on perfect. That's all I care about. I don't need your resignation. [to Cam] He didn't actually tamper with evidence!
Cam: Dr. Hodgins endangered a case by hiding his relationship with a suspect.
Hodgins: I'm saving Dr. Saroyan the trouble of firing me.
Brennan: Well, how much trouble is it? "You're fired." That's no trouble at all! A child could do it.

Caroline: Listen up, you people. The verdict is gonna come down any minute. Maybe we'll win. Maybe we'll lose. But this I do know, you people have got to get your sand together, you hear me? Booth and you scientist-android-brainiacs, you got somethin' very special here. But you are losing it. [to Booth] Dropping serial killers off of balconies. And [to Angela] blabbing suspect's names to vengeful fathers. [to Cam] Cuttin' into heads before their times, gettin' poisoned. [to Zack] Gettin' blown up because you go grabbin' for things you shouldn't have and [to Hodgins] taking photographs from frames. [back to Booth] Getting a perfectly good car smashed to bits for NO good reason. [to all] Get it together! Start using your over-sized heads! This is the real world. [to Hodgins] Now, I know bug man here handed in his resignation. My official Justice Department recommendation is the following: we win the case, he gets his job back; we lose, Booth shoots him.

The Bodies in the Book [2.15][edit]

Cam: Only five days? This is an extreme rate of decomp.
Hodgins: Blue crab season. They'll feed on anything, dead or alive. Vegetation, fish, flesh.
Cam: Ugh. Opportunistic little bastards.

Sullivan: Well, two hands are better than one, Booth.
Booth: Ha, well, last time I checked, I have two hands. See? Thanks
Angela: Testosterone spill on aisle four.

Hodgins: So, for kicks you read?
Cam: Feminist trash. You know — woman finds her power, leaves her oppressive husband, discovers freedom and fulfillment with an artist who knows how to cry and make love like an animal.
Hodgins: So, sex books.
Cam: Pretty much, yeah.

[about a rat that has eaten a bullet]
Angela: Can't we just wait till nature takes its course?
Hodgins: Do you have any idea how tight a rat's rectum is?
Angela: Please tell me you don't.

Sullivan: When you can't stop thinking about someone when they're not around, that's not a fling. When you remember their touch just like they were still next to you? That's not a fling. If you need to be alone with this, fine... but we both know what we have.

Hodgins: Be careful with fire ants, they're extremely dangerous.
Zach: I think the victim would agree with you.

The Boneless Bride in the River [2.16][edit]

Booth: Don't knock therapy, okay? Dr. Wyatt has helped me realize that there are certain pressures that build up on the job, and I need creative ways—
Brennan: We do everything together.
Booth: —of dealing with them.
Brennan: What exactly do you have to contend with on the job that I don't?
Booth: You, Bones. You don't have to contend with you.

Brennan: Okay, I want the whole kip and canoodle transported to the Jeffersonian.
Booth: Kit and caboodle.
Brennan: Whatever.

Brennan: No bones, no Bones... I was the second "Bones."
Cam: It's very witty.

Cam: So what? You got a part of the groom instead of a piece of the bride?
Booth: Bones stole it.
Brennan: Uh, not stole — swapped.
Booth: From an old Chinese lady's mantle.
Brennan: I brought a bunch of chimpanzee bones and pulled the old ah, switchamacallit.
Booth: Switcheroo.
Cam: Whatchamacallit.
Booth: Two different things.

Zack: Positive ID on both sets of remains. William Chang and Li-Ling Fan.
Angela: [looking at both skeletons and their pictures] Wow, they kind of go together.
Cam: Because they're deceased?
Angela: Yeah, but more than that, they are exactly the same level of hotness.
Cam: Which is zero, because they're skeletons.

The Priest in the Churchyard [2.17][edit]

Booth: I'm not working a whole case with you attacking my beliefs. You should have just saddled up with your boyfriend.
Brennan: Your beliefs are of an invisible man who wants to run my personal life.
Zack: Death would have followed quickly caused by cranial cerebral trauma.
Booth: By the way, 90% of the world believes in God!
Brennan: And at one time most people were certain that the sun revolved around the earth.
Booth: [to Zack] You see, I don't think this is about religion at all. [to Brennan] We obviously have issues, okay, that are affecting our working relationship and you're afraid to deal with them, so you just lash out at my religion!
Brennan: Can't you just be satisfied that if I'm wrong about God, I'll burn in hell?
Booth: Ooh, that's tempting.

Booth: We're definitely not working well together.
Brennan: Because you are bossy and judgmental.
Booth: Problems between people — it's never just one person's fault.
Brennan: What about Hitler? He did pretty well on his own.

Brennan: [About the chalice, a possible murder weapon] Can we take this with us, or do we need to serve a warrant on God?

Wyatt: [to Brennan] In my opinion, you are unable to lead a purposeless life at this stage in your psycho-social development. Which, by the way, is an issue you should address, because a certain amount of purposelessness is necessary to lead a full life.
Brennan: I hate psychology.
Booth: You don't like it because he's saying that all this tension between me and you is your fault.
Wyatt: Mmm, on the contrary. [to Booth] If anything, your issues are more pronounced, given that your behavior has been affected by what turns out to be a quite irrational fear of being responsible for somebody else's destiny.
Brennan: That makes sense.
Booth: Oh, now you like psychology.

Cam: [after testing Father Matt for poison] The good news is, we know how to make you feel a lot better.
Hodgins: Bad news is, someone's trying to kill you.

The Killer in the Concrete [2.18][edit]

[Brennan is at Booth's office discussing the case]
Brennan: So you think "Icepick" might still be alive.
Booth: As a friend of mine likes to say, don't jump to conclusions...[gets up and smiles smugly at Brennan] until all the evidence is in.
Brennan: If the facts are in then it's not "jumping to a conclusion". I never said that.
Booth: I never said that the "friend" is you, ok? [walks out]
[Brennan looks on, speechless]

Max Keenan: Hey, I haven't committed a crime in over fifteen years. I'm straight.
Brennan: Except for killing, gutting and burning the Deputy Director of the F.B.I.
Max Keenan: He was trying to kill Russ, and then he was going after you. It is not a crime to protect your family.
Brennan: Well, some fathers do it without killing.

Angela: I can't fight or shoot a gun; but if something bad happens, I can spit with deadly accuracy.
Brennan: Thanks, but no.
Angela: What can't you tell me?
Brennan: By definition, I can't tell you.

Brennan: Why didn't you just tell him about Kennedy?
Booth: Well, you know, I needed to give you time to find me. You know, I've been tortured worse.

Spaceman in a Crater [2.19][edit]

Zach: Little green men?
Hodgins: Grey, they're grey... Not green, grey. Being as you're half alien yourself you should know that.

Cam: Why do you know that?
Zack: My knowledge is vast.
Cam: Why did I ask?

Booth: The telescope is pointed up at the planet Pluto.
Hodgins: Pluto's no longer a planet. It was demoted.

Hodgins: (preparing to propose) I am madly in love with you, Angela. You- you are the most amazing woman that I have ever met. My life is so much better since we-
Angela: Oh my god.
Hodgins: What?
Angela: Are you breaking up with me?

Booth: Speaking of marriage, Hodgins is gonna propose to Angela tonight.
Brennan: Huh.
Booth: What?
Brennan: I guess right now it looks to me like marriage is having someone who will slap your enemies and then toss their dead bodies out of airplanes.
Booth: Try not to mention that to Angela.

The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House [2.20][edit]

Booth: [walks onto the platform] Ok, squint squad, why does she look like a glow stick?
Hodgins: [rhetorically] Why does everyone think my job is so easy?
Cam: [looks at the body] Wow, you weren't kidding. Twirl her around, we can pretend we're at a rave. What's the good word, Hodgins?
Hodgins: [protests] Hey! I am not a party trick!

Booth: [walks in on Cam cutting off the corpse's finger] Oh god, what are you doing? Plugging a dike or something??

Brennan: You know, I'd back down if I were you. He shot a clown once.

Booth: Talk to me, squints, as close to English as possible.

Hodgins: Look, I'm Abby. [to Zack] You're Carly.
Zack: Why am I always the murder victim?
Hodgins: Sit.
Brennan: [chuckling] Zack’s always the murder victim.

Stargazer in a Puddle [2.21][edit]

Brennan: Dad, what are you doing here?
Max: Well, I heard you were getting married.
Brennan: What? No! Angela's getting married to Hodgins, not me.
Max: Oh...uh, the bug guy... oh that's great! [Booth starts to handcuff him]
Booth: [to Max] Will you shut up, please! [catches Brennan looking at him, awkwardly to her] Uh, long enough for me to Mirandize him.
Max: [sarcastically] You got the right to remain silent....got it! [to Brennan] We'll talk more later.
Booth: [apologetically] Look, I'm sorry, Bones, but he killed the Deputy Director of the FBI. I'm just doing my job.

Angela: Hey Brennan, I'd like to ask you a favor. Well, it's not so much ask a favor as, as, as extend an honor. I mean, I hope you see it as an honor and you don't think of it as some onerous duty, which I don't think you will, but then again I've never done this before, and of course—
Brennan: Angela, just ask.
Angela: Will you be my maid of honor? [Brennan looks close to tears] At the wedding? [Brennan hugs her] Is that yes?
Brennan: I'm completely, totally honored.
Angela: Really? I thought I'd have to tell you what a maid of honor—
Brennan: I don't even care how awful the bridesmaids' dresses are. I'm so glad you asked me.

Cynthia: Could you please take down the pictures Chelsea drew? I don't want anyone to come in and just throw them away.
Brennan: You threw away your own daughter, why would I do you a favor?

Billy: [after Hodgins asks for his permission to marry Angela] You're making a huge mistake, son.
Hodgins: Marrying Angela?
Billy: No. If Angie finds out that a man – you – asked another man – me – for her hand or any of her other fine parts, horrible complications will ensue.
Hodgins: I didn't think of that.
Billy: You could get us both killed.
Hodgins: Ok...good advice. [he and Billy shake hands] You got anymore?
Billy: Always play it in the key of G demolished.

Ruth Keenan: Hi Temperance, it's Mom. I don't know when or if you'll ever see this, but I hope to put it in your hands myself and see you again with my own eyes. But this is a hard, hard world. Your father and I left you and Russ to save your lives. People would have killed you to get us. That's not what this is about. Today is your sixteenth birthday. I'm so sorry not to be there to tell you all the things a mother should tell her daughter when she turns sixteen, and sorry not to give you this. [holds up the ring Brennan's father gave her] It's an heirloom from my side of the family and starting today, it's yours. I don't know how long it will take me to get it to you, but I promise you I will. You're going to hear a lot of things about your parents, especially about your father. He is a good man. It was my insistence to leave you kids. Max would have kept us together, fought until the end. I'm not sure he'll ever forgive me for that. So please, Temperance, I need you to forgive me. And if you can't forgive me, I beg you, honey, forgive your father, because he is a very good man. Remember this, you were cherished in this world, adored. What I did to you may have been wrong, but I did it out of love. I did it out of love.

[Booth, Brennan, Cam and Zack are in the church foyer preparing for Hodgins and Angela's wedding. Zach walks up to Booth from behind.]
Zack: Have you been to Iraq?
Booth: That's classified information and you aren't cleared for that.
Zack: Does it hurt to get shot?
Booth: [in disbelief] What??
Zack: I've been blown up. That wasn't as bad as I expected. But I've never been shot.
[Later]
Zack: Booth, is there any sense in ducking when someone shoots at you?
Booth: Your body ducks whether you want to or not. [Zack nods] Why?
Zack: [hands Booth an envelope] You can read this later then explain it to everyone.
Booth: Why me?
Zack: You know more about duty and honor than anyone else I know.