Camp Camp/Season 3
A place where you and I can stay
Where we can go to laugh and play and have adventures every day
I know it sounds hard to believe, but guys and gals it's true
Camp Campbell is the place for me and you
Camp Camp (2016–2024) is an American adult animated web series created by Jordan Cwierz and Miles Luna for Rooster Teeth. It revolves around the misadventures of attendants and camp counselors of Camp Campbell summer camp, in particular protagonist Max and counselor, David.
Season 3 debuted on May 25, 2018, and ran until August 10, 2018. Two special episodes, "Arrival of the Torso Takers" and "Culture Day," were released on October 5 and December 7, 2018, respectively.
The Fun-Raiser [3.01]
[edit]- David: Don't start screaming into shoeboxes just yet, Gwen! We can raise enough money and save Camp Campbell! But the campers can't find out. If they knew how bad things were, they'd never trust us again! We'd look completely incompetent!
- Gwen: We are completely incompetent!
Ered Gets Her Cool Back [3.02]
[edit]Foreign Exchange Campers [3.03]
[edit]- Vera: Laugh all you want, American. But if we find nothing of value, we will burn camp to ground and leave no survivors!
- Max: What do you guys even want here, anyway?
- Vera: Cameron Campbell made great promises to all of our countries. Only to make weasel out of deals! [considers] Is that expression? "To make weasel"?
- Vera: Ah, you are supposed to be American cosmonaut! Tell me, how does it feel to have failing space program?
- Space Kid: ...What the fuck did you just say to me?
- [While everyone is fighting, Brian/"Kimchi" gets into Cameron Campbell's safe, dropping his neutral, mid-Atlantic accent]
- Brian: FOOLS!
- Nurf: You guys, I think Kimchi just won the scavenger hunt.
- Brian: [in a pronounced Kentucky drawl] Shut up! I've had to suffer you morons all day just to get my prize! And now, Kentucky has all the resources it needs, to secede from this godless country! To create a utopia where we can raise horses and fry chicken to our hearts' content! [flips everyone off] Long live the Colonel, assholes! [jumps through a window, and flies away as a helicopter shows up and drops down a rope ladder] "Oh, the sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home..."
Nikki's Last Day on Earth [3.04]
[edit]- Dolf: Tsk, tsk. This is no good.
- Nikki: No good? That sounds bad!
- Dolf: I am afraid it is a case- of death.
- Nikki: I AM DYING, MAX! You're just selfish because you only ever care about yourself! THAT'S WHAT SELFISH MEANS! [silence] Woah.
- David: I'm concerned about the number of times I've had to ask this, but- why are you trying to set Nikki on fire?!
Dial M for Jasper [3.05]
[edit]The Lake Lilac Summer Social [3.06]
[edit]Something Fishy [3.08]
[edit]The Candy Kingpin [3.09]
[edit]Operation: Charlie Tango Foxtrot [3.10]
[edit]City Survival [3.11]
[edit]- Nerris: [notices a couple with one holding a sword] WHOA! Where are they going!?
- David: [forces Nerris to move along] Nowhere! Probably some drug convention!
- [Harrison is watching a street magician]
- Street Magician: Find the silver ball. [as he shuffles the cups] Get an authentic Dolex watch!
- Harrison: Heh. What an amateur. He doesn't even have a ball.
- David: [grabs Harrison's arm and yanks him away] Harrison!
- Dolph: David, look! Zat baldman is handing out flyers with a picture of me!
- David: [forces Dolph back to the group] Let's go this way.
- Young Adult Woman: Hello, sir. Would you like to help save the kids?
- David: I'M TRYING! [the woman walks away]
- Man in Trenchcoat: [walks up to David] Hey, wanna have a good time?
- Preston: [rhetorically answering] Sure! David loves having a good time!
- David: [nervously laughs] No thanks.
- Man in Trenchcoat: [opens his trenchcoat to reveal flyers and brochures to the museum while his shirt reads "I ❤️ Trench Coats"] You sure? Kids get in free to the museum today! There's hot air balloon rides to the park, all kinds of fun activates for all ages!
- David: Oh! Thank you!
- Nurf: We're actually looking for some of our missing friends. About, yay high, real nerdy?
- Man in Trenchcoat: Hm... If I were to start somewhere, I'd go with downtown. That's why I got lost as a kid. Good luck! [David and the rest of the campers wave "bye" at him cheerfully; to himself, sadly] Ugh. Never did find my parents.
- [David and the other campers get out of a van]
- David: Thanks again for the ride! [walks off]
- Van Driver: Anytime! [gets out a bag of candy for the campers] Don't forget about the free candy I promised ya! [the campers cheer in excitement]
- David: Nikki? Max? Are you in this horrible alley? [a mugger walks up to him from behind] Scream once if you're being murdered.
- Mugger: Alright, hand it over!
- David: [turns to look at the mugger and raises his hands up] Oh my gosh!
- Mugger: I mean it, pal! I'll cut you a new one!
- David: A new what!?
- [The campers walk up to David, while they examine what they got from the driver]
- Nurf: Whoa! Full size candy bars? That guy wasn't messing around.
- Harrison: [waves a candy bar to David] David! You gotta see this!
- Mugger: [notices the kids behind David] Oh, are all these kids with you? Oh man, it's hard out there for a single parent, isn't it?
- David: I... I... I...
- Mugger: Oh here, please. [gives David his knife] You need this more than I do. This city is dangerous, but be careful, it's incredibly sharp. Mugged a lot of people with this knife and now you will do.
- David: Oh. My fingerprints are on this now.
- Nerris: Wow! David got the Sword of Truth! Bonus D 30 by 63 points!
- Mugger: [as he walks off] Always listen to your dad, kids!
- Ered: Thanks, dude!
- Gwen: Camp Corp. Accounting, Gwen speaking!
- Max: Fuck!
- Gwen: Wait a minute- Max?
- Max: Yeah, sorry. I bet Campbell five bucks you'd be working in the mail room.
- Gwen: You little shit! I'm better th- Wait. Campbell, as in-?
- Max: Yeah, it's a long story, but the punchline is that we're getting Camp Campbell back and we need your help.
- David: I know you finally have a respectable job, Gwen, so if you don't want to get involved-
- Gwen: FUCK THIS JOB! [other office staff come out of their cubicles to look] I mean- whaa? [quietly] Fuck this job! They don't need me! There's nothing to do! I get paid to just sit around and wait!
- Cameron Campbell: Hey, now, that is a hard job to land.
- David: Gwen, really, are you sure about this?
- [Gwen pauses, looking at the #2 Counselor mug on her desk]
- Gwen: You're goddamn right I am. What do you need me to do?
Arrival of the Torso Takers
[edit]- Max: No way. I already did something nice this week. My quota's filled.
- Preston: You vile creature! One can never get soda off blue suede!
- Daniel: I wanted to give you a nice, memorable death, Max! But now you've given me no choice but to stab you. Like some commoner!
- David: Max! [tackles Daniel]
- [Max grabs a crossbow]
- Max: Don't move! I sorta know how to use this!
- Daniel & David: Don't shoot! It's me, David! Ha! You wish you were David! I'm David!
- Max: Okay, I'm just gonna shoot you both.
- David: You know it's me, Max! You have to know!
- Max: You're overestimating this relationship! [fires the crossbow at a shelf of canned milk, hitting one of the cans; Daniel falls as he gets sprayed]
- Daniel: Oh, not dairy! Oh, God, it's getting in my mouth... [curls up as indigestion hits him]
- Max: Daniel has a weird milk thing... I don't know, it was too boring to follow.
Culture Day
[edit]- Neil: Do you- really wanna know?
- Nikki: Yeah! It sounds cool! And flammable!