Sesame Street

From Wikiquote
(Redirected from Cookie)
Jump to: navigation, search

Sesame Street (1969-) is an educational television program designed for preschoolers, and is recognized as a pioneer of the contemporary standard which combines education and entertainment in children's television shows. Sesame Street is well known for the inclusion of the Muppet characters created by the legendary puppeteer Jim Henson. More than 4,000 episodes of the show have been produced in forty seasons, which distinguishes it as one of the longest-running shows in television history.

Cookie World[edit]

Cookie Monster[edit]

  • Cookie Monster (to tune of Elmo's World theme): La la la la, la la la la, Cookie World. La la la la, la la la la, Cookie World. Me love me cookies, yeah, me cookies too. that was amazing

1983 episodes[edit]

Episode 1839[edit]

Big Bird: Oh, hi Gordon!
Gordon: Oh, hi Big Bird.
Big Bird: Nice day, isn't it?
Gordon: Yeah, very nice. Big Bird?
Big Bird: Hmmm?
Gordon: Why are you doing that?
Big Bird: What?
Gordon: That.
Big Bird: Oh.
Gordon: With your head between your legs.
Big Bird: Oh, because.
Gordon: Because why?
Big Bird: Just because.
Gordon: You're walking with your head between your legs, just because? Uh, can't you give me a better reason than just because?
Big Bird: Well, I guess I could try, but I don't think I could come up with a better reason.
Gordon: Yeah, I understand.
Big Bird: You know what I'm gonna do now?
Gordon: What?
Big Bird: This. (makes a weird move) De-do. De-do. De-do. De-do. De-do. De-do. De-do.
(Gordon laughs and does the exact same thing)

David: Look, look, I'm tellin' you, she's a great candidate! She says that she's against big spending, big business, and inflation. She says when she gets into office, there'll be enough money for government, social programs, and the space program.
Bob: Hey, sounds great. What's her name?
Gordon: Alice in Wonderland.
(everyone else laughs)

Bert & Ernie:[edit]

You're Not Bert [Bert comes in room dressed in a suit and tie]

Bert: Uh Ernie tell me. How do I look?
Ernie: With your eyes Bert. Keeheeheeheehee!
Bert: Ernie c'mon. You know I am going to the Pigeon Lover's Party; its a big event and I want you to look at me and tell me how I look. (Ernie looks up to Bert and gasps twice) Yeah. Good huh? (Chuckles)
Ernie: Wait a minute. Now hold on. Gee Bert. You look different. In fact you don't look at all like Bert. As a matter of fact, you're not Bert!
Bert: Ernie? Of course I'm Bert. Who else would I be?
Ernie: I don't know but you're not Bert. Now step with me to this picture. That is a picture of Bert up there see? Now Bert wears a white turtleneck and a striped sweater and look at you. You're wearing a tie and a jacket. And look at Bert. He has sticky up hair and look at you. Your hair is slumped down. See? You're not Bert. (shouts) Bert? Where are you Bert? Bert!
Bert: Ernie knock it off.
Ernie: Listen, what have you done with my old buddy Bert?
Bert: Ernie, I am just wearing different clothes and I combed my hair different so that I can look nice for the party.
Ernie: Listen mister, whoever you are. What have you done with my old buddy Bert? You better bring back Bert here or I'll call a missing Bert bureau.
Bert: All right. All right. I'll show you. I am Bert. I'll show you. Stay here and I'll be back.
Ernie: There is only one Bert and I know what he looks like.
Bert: Okay here I am. (Comes in room in his sweater and normal hair) See?
Ernie: Bert it is you! Now step by the picture so I can make sure. Yes you have the same sticky up hair, turtleneck and striped sweater. Bert it is you!
Bert: Of course it is me Ernie!
Ernie: Wonderful. Hey Bert what are you doing right here? You have to get dressed and comb your hair. You can't go to the pigeon lovers party looking like that Bert.

(Bert sighs twice in frustration)

Imaginary Baseball[edit]

(Ernie is seen crying as it noticeably rains outside; Bert enters)

Bert: Ernie what's the matter?
Ernie: (cries) Bert it's terrible Bert!
Bert: What's terrible Ernie?
Ernie: I wanted to go out and play baseball today, but look outside; it's raining outside! (cries)
Bert: Oh that's it huh? Ernie it's not so bad.
Ernie: Not so bad Bert?! Yes it is Bert. It's very bad. (cries)
Bert: Oh, hey I have an idea Ernie. Why don't you just imagine you're out playing baseball?
Ernie: Imagine? (Smiles in ideal)
Bert: Yes. Imagination can be as good as the real thing Ernie.
Ernie: (happily) Okay Bert. I'll try it.
Bert: Okay good. (Walks off)
Ernie: Okay (begins to imagine; the rain noticeably stops) The fans are cheering. (Fans cheering are heard) The umpire shouts..."(Umpire: Play ball!!!)" And I step up to the plate and the pitcher throws ball. I take a swing. (swings baseball bat) Oh it's a perfect hit. The ball goes high above the roof, in the sky and into the clouds. Then it begins to fall. Down down down down down it falls, into...(a splash is heard) In the ocean. Oh no.
Bert: Ernie it stopped raining. You can go out and play baseball.
Ernie: No I can't Bert.
Bert: Why not?
Ernie: The baseball is at the bottom of the ocean Bert. (Bert stares at Ernie in confusion)

A Banana in Ernie's Ear[edit]

Part 1:

(Ernie is seen holding a banana in his ear while he hums; Bert enters)

Bert: Ernie? [Ernie does not respond] Hey, Ern?
Ernie: [sees him] Oh. Hi, Bert!
Bert: Yeah, hey, uh, Ernie, you know that you have a banana in your ear?
Ernie: What was that, Bert?
Bert: [more loudly] I said you have a banana in your ear, Ernie. Bananas are food, they are to eat, not to put in your ear, Ernie!
Ernie: What did you say, Bert?
Bert: [even louder] Will you just take that banana out of your ear?!
Ernie: I'm sorry you'll have to speak a little louder, Bert! I can't hear you! I have a banana in my ear!
[Bert frowns]
Part 2:

(Bert comes back to see Ernie still holding the banana in his ear and humming)

Bert: (annoyed) Ernie...!
Ernie: (sees him) Oh hi, Bert.
Bert: You still have that banana in your ear!
Ernie: What?
Bert: (louder) I said you still have that banana in your ear!!
Ernie: (nods) Yeah, Bert, I know!
Bert: You know?! Ernie, why is that banana still in your ear!?
Ernie: Listen, Bert. I use this banana to keep the alligators away.
Bert: Alligators? Ernie, there are no alligators on Sesame Street!
Ernie: Right. It's doing a good job, isn't it Bert? (laughs; continues to hold the banana in his ear while Bert frowns again)


Gordon Robinson: Sally, you've never seen a street like Sesame Street. Everything happens here. You're gonna love it!
  • The very first line spoken on the very first episode from November 1969

Alistair Cookie: Good evening, and welcome to Monsterpiece Theater.
  • Unidentified 1981 episode

The Count: Greetings it is I the Count! They call me the Count because I love to count things!! AH AH AH!!!

Kermit the Frog: It's not easy being green.

Ernie: Rubber Ducky, you're the one.
You make bathtime lots of fun.
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.

Big Bird: (Realizes he is three weeks away from home by walking) Three weeks?? Oh no! I'll never get home.
Truck Driver: Sure you will...just be patient.
Big Bird: Oh I do not know...
Truck Driver: Listen sonny…(sings) I found out a long time gotta learn to say yes when life says no, don't dwell on the bad times once they're past, that kind of thinking gets you nowhere fast, 'cause there ain't no mountain you can't climb, if ya hang on tight and just make up your mind, and once you set your heart to moving on, son there ain't no road too long.
Gordon: (drives in his car with Cookie Monster and his sister; sings) Don't look back don't you turn around.
Olivia: (sings) Just keep your eye on where you're bound.
Gordon and Olivia: (sing) And when you're bound to get from here to there a dream can take you anywhere...
Cookie Monster: Take me to cookies!
Grover: (flies and sings) 'Cause there ain't no mountain you can't climb if ya hang on tight and just make up your mind...(Screams as he plummets)
The Count: (sings in his Countmobile) And once you set your heart to moving on hut hut...then there is no road too long! And you can count the telephone poles! One telephone pole, 2 telephone poles, 3 telephone poles…4 telephone poles!
Bert: Help me search, Ernie! (Ernie looks from his airplane cockpit)
Ernie: Bert, remember what color he is? He's yellow. (chuckles as Bert glares at him)

Ernie: The statue knows "Rubber Ducky", Bert.
  • Unidentified 1981 episode

Announcer: We interrupt this presentation to bring you "A Message from Your Local Chicken".
Gordon: Hey, Zelda. You're on!
Zelda the Chicken: (Clucking)
Gordon: For those of you who don't speak chicken, Zelda says "She is mighty proud to be a chicken".
Zelda the Chicken: (Clucking)
Gordon: She is proud because chicken lay eggs.
Zelda the Chicken: (Clucking)
Gordon: And eggs are good for you.
Zelda the Chicken: (Clucking)
Gordon: She is proud that her feathers are soft and fluffy, And warm in the winter and hoot in the....
Zelda the Chicken: (Clucks)
Gordon: In the summer!
Zelda the Chicken: (Clucking)
Gordon: She is proud because, She can....
Zelda the Chicken: (Clucks)
Gordon: Can cluck.
Zelda the Chicken: (Clucking)
Gordon: So just remember, folks. Dogs bark, Cats meow, Ducks quack, And cows moo. But only, A chicken can cluck.
Zelda the Chicken: (Cluck-Cluck)
Gordon: You are welcome, Zelda!
Announcer: This announcement is sponsored by the Proud to Be a Chicken Association.
  • From the Season 20 (1988-1989) sketch: A Message from Your Local Chicken.

Cookie Monster: Me do anything for cookie!

Prarie Dawn: Pat, It is so nice to be on a normal sensible show like yours.
Pat Playjacks: Why Thank you, Prairie. And since you won the toss up, How many pig squeals do you think there should be?
Prairie Dawn: Pig squeals?!? What do you mean?
Pat Playjacks: What do I mean is let's tell our audience that this is the "SQUEAL! OF! FORTUNE!"
Prairie Dawn: You mean this is Squeal of Fortune? This must be a mistake, Pat.
Pat Playjacks: What I want to do is guess the number, Prairie.
Prairie Dawn: I'll do it. How about Ten!
Pat Playjacks: Alright. The number Ten! So let's get ready and give the pig on the turn table a spin! And we will count how many pig squeals we hear from the Squeal of Fortune! (Prairie Spins the pig on the turntable)
Pig: (Squeals)
Audience: ONE!
Pig: (Squeals)
Audience: TWO!
Pig: (Squeals)
Audience: THREE!
Pig: (Squeals)
Audience: FOUR!
Pig: (Squeals)
Audience: FIVE!
  • Buzzer Sounds when the turntable stops spinning*
Audience: (Groaning)
Pat Playjacks: Ooooh, I very sorry, Prairie. You guessed ten and they were only five pig squeals in today's "Pig..." I mean "Squeal of Fortune". So let's move right along to Count Von Count.
Prairie Dawn: Oh, Dear. I guess I didn't win.
Pat Playjacks: Hey Count Von Count, Are you ready to play the game?
Count Von Count: Oh, Yes. Sure thing, Pat.
Pat Playjacks: Okay, How many pig squeals there should be?
Count Von Count: Uh, One pig squeal, I mean Two pig squeals, Or maybe three, or four, or five pig squeals....
Pat Playjacks: Hold it, Count! We can only take one guess.
Count Von Count: One guess, Two guesses, Three!
Pat Playjacks: Three? Uh, Is three your guess? Alright that's you guess. Three pig squeals so give the pig a spin! (Count Spins the pig on the turntable)
Pig: (Squeals)
Audience: ONE!
Pig: (Squeals)
Audience: TWO!
Pig: (Squeals)
Audience: THREE
  • Pinging Sounds when the turntable stops spinning*
Audience: (Applause)
Count Von Count: Did I say, Three?
Pat Playjacks: Yes you did.
Count Von Count: I said THREE! (Ha-ha-ha)
Pat Playjacks: That is right. Three squeals Count Von Count, YOU WON!
Prairie Dawn: What?!? He won, Oh no!
Pat Playjacks: It's now time to show you the prizes at a studio filled with fabulous prizes. And to show them to us is my co-hostess, Mrs. Velma Blank. And here they are: A beautiful hand set tank barrel of finger paint, A grapefruit goggle: good for the protection of that morning squirt, And a larger than life fullsize portrait of America's 2nd favorite game show host: Pat Playjacks.
  • From the Squeal of Fortune sketch. First aired on Season 19 (1987-1988)

Cookie Monster: What is this. Am me dreaming or what? (Sees a giant cookie) Me see, the most gigantic cookie me ever seen. Me must be in cookie heaven. Cookie, Come to papa.
The Monster Cookie: (Shouting as Cookie Monster was about to eat the cookie) KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, PAL!
Cookie Monster: YIKES!!! COOKIE TALKED!!!
The Monster Cookie: Me not cookie, me Monster!
Cookie Monster: Why me too. Me, Cookie Monster!
The Monster Cookie: Me, Monster Cookie!
Cookie Monster: What, Who is Monster Cookie? Me never heard of it? Didn't we?
The Monster Cookie: (Sighs) It's a sad story.
Cookie Monster: Oh no!
The Monster Cookie: Once me were regular blue furry monster.
Cookie Monster: Your kidding.
The Monster Cookie: It's the truth. And me start to eat cookies all day. Me had cookies for breakfast, cookies for lunch and dinner. Me never ate any vegetables like carrots, Me never ate meat like fish, Or a starch like bread. Me just had cookies.
Cookie Monster: That sounds familiar. But what happened next?
The Monster Cookie: Then me start to break into chocolate chips!
Cookie Monster: (Gasps and shocked) NO!
The Monster Cookie: Then me brain turned to cream filling!
Cookie Monster: OH NO!
The Monster Cookie: Then me leave crumbs, Whenever me walked!
Cookie Monster: So in other words, You did not exactly pictured your health.
The Monster Cookie: Right, And before me knew it, It was too late! (Voice breakdown) Me transformed into a big, Monster Coooookiieeeeeeee! (Sobs in sorrow)
Cookie Monster: (Shocked and sobs as well) IT'S A CATASTROPHE! WHY?!? WHY?!?
  • Dream sequence returns to Cookie Monster's kitchen*
Cookie Monster: (Wakes from his dream, sadly) What a dream! Oh, Very Sad! (Gets angered when he grabs a cookie, And puts down) OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! ME NEVER EAT COOKIES EVER AGAIN! NO, FROM NOW ON, ME EAT CARROTS! YEAH! (Munches on carrots), And FISH! (Munches on fish), And WHOLE WHEAT BREAD! (Munches on Whole Wheat Bread), AND NO, NO COOKIES. SORRY, COOKIE. ME NEVER WILL EAT YOU EVER..... Uh, Say you talking, Cookie? You crying, Cookie? ((Munches on a cookie) Well, Maybe sometime a cookie.
  • From the Season 24 (1992-1993) sketch with Cookie Monster having a nightmare on meeting the giant talking "Monster Cookie".

Grover: It is I, your furry pal, Grover!

Fat Blue: Ah, what a beautiful day! I really should come here more often. It's much nicer to have lunch here in the park where there aren't any waiters! [Grover suddenly comes in, playing a guitar.] Oh no...
Grover: Ha-ha, yes, it is I, Grover!
Fat Blue: The very waiter I was hoping to get away from!
Grover: Uh, excuse me sir, but I am not a waiter.
Fat Blue: Well of course you are; you waited on me hundreds of times!
Grover: No, but today is my day off, and on my day off, I am a writer and singer of songs!
Fat Blue: Of all the benches in all the parks in the world, I had to pick this one!
Grover: I looooove making music! And I looooove singing! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! And I looooove to find words that sound the same, words that rhyme! Sir, would you care to make a request?
Fat Blue: I certainly would.
Grover: Oh good!
Fat Blue: Go away! And let me have my lunch.
Grover: Hmm. Well, that is two requests actually, but I will be glad to oblige. [starts playing and singing]
Go away, take a ride, take a walk!
Do not stay, I have no time to talk!
Yesterday I could pass for some fun,
But today I must ask you to run!
Go away, make it far,
Go away, take the car,
Don't delay, please just scram,
Do not play where I aaaaammm!
Go away, make it far--
Grover: Oh! Well you are right; that is enough of "Go Away!" And now, a little tune I like to call, "Let Me Have My Lunch!" [starts playing again]
Fat Blue: Ugh...
Grover: This is the vamp, I love this part! You can tap your foot if you like.
[singing] Let me have my lunch,
Yes I'm eager for a bite!
Let me have my lunnnnch,
'Cause it's such a pretty sight!
There you go, sir! Two beautiful songs with many cute rhymes. Like, um, like "away" and "a-play" and "stay", and uh, "bite", "bite" and "sight", yes, and then there was "walk" and "talk", and, uh, "far" and "car", and "scram" and--
Fat Blue: Yes yes yes, that's just swell!
Grover: Swell indeed! In fact, all the rhyming has made me quite hungry for my lunch.
Fat Blue: Ugh, take mine!
Grover: Oh, that is very kind of you, sir. But what about your lunch?
Fat Blue: Well, I was thinking of that restaurant where you work!
Grover: Oh, but sir, I will not be there!
Fat Blue: Ah, exactly! [walks off]
Grover: Wait, sir! I shall play for you while you eat! [gives chase]

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia has an article about: