The Da Vinci Code

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So Dark The Con of Man

The Da Vinci Code (2003) is a mystery novel by Dan Brown about a Harvard University symbologist named Robert Langdon and the quest for the Holy Grail. It was adapted into a film of the same name in 2006.


Sophie: I thought Constantine was a Christian,

Driver:(while Robert is thinking about Vittoria Vetra) Did you mount her?

Bezu: Did you approve? (about the Louvre Pyramid)

Robert: Yes, your pyramid is magnificent.

Bezu: (grunt) A scar on the face of Paris.

Robert: We're on a Grail quest, Sophie. Who better to help us than a knight? (about Leigh)

Leigh: Those who seek the truth are more than friends. They are brothers.

Leigh:(After being called to the kitchen by Remy) Sometimes I wonder who is serving whom? I'll be right there, Remy. Can I bring you anything when I come?

Remy: Only freedom from oppression, sir.

Leigh: In my experience, men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.

Robert: The keystone is well hidden.

Leigh: Extremely well hidden, I hope!

Robert: Actually that depends on how often you dust under your couch.

Silas: Stand up slowly, and give it to me.

Leigh: Standing is difficult for me.

Silas: Precisely. I would prefer nobody attempt any quick moves.

Robert: Who is that? What... happened?

Leigh: You were rescued by a knight brandishing an Excalibur made by Acme Orthopaedic.

Leigh[To Silas]: I can't imagine your complaint, sir. You trespassed in my home and placed a nasty welt on the skull of a dear friend. I would be well within my rights to shoot you right now and leave you to rot in the woods.

Operator: Will you accept charges for a collect call from Robert Langdon?

Jonas: Uh... sure, okay.

Robert: Jonas?

Jonas: Robert? You wake me up and you charge me for it?

Robert: That's Elizabeth?[Leigh's plane]

Leigh: Beats the bloody Chunnel.

Pilot: Sir, my humble apologies,but my diplomatic flight allowance provides only for you and your manservant. I cannot take your guests.

Leigh: Richard, two thousand pounds sterling and that loaded gun say you can take my guests. And that unfortunate fellow in the back. [Silas]

Bezu Fache: Get a transport up here. I'm going to London. And get me the Kent local police. Not British M15. Kent local. Tell them I want Teabing's plane to be permitted to land. Then I want it surrounded on the tarmac. Nobody deplanes until I get there.

Sophie: Leigh, I was serious about the French police finding your plane before we return.

Leigh: Yes, imagine their surprise if they board and find Remy.

Sophie: Leigh, you transported a bound hostage across international borders. This is serious.

Leigh: So are my lawyers.

Robert: But you tied him[Silas] up and flew him to London!

Leigh: Your honour, forgive an eccentric old knight his foolish prejudice for the British court system. I realize I should have called the French authorities, but I'm a snob and I do not trust those laissez-faire French to prosecute properly. This man almost murdered me. Yes, I made a rash decision forcing my manservant to help me bring him to England, but I was under great stress. Mea culpa. Mea culpa.

Robert: Coming from you, Leigh, that just might fly.

Robert: Leigh, I should turn myself in and sort this out legally. Leave you all out of it.

Leigh: Oh, heavens, Robert! Do you really think they're going to let the rest of us go? I just transported you illegally. Miss Neveu assisted in your escape from the Louvre, and we have a man tied up in the back of the plane. Really now! We're all in this together.

Simon Edwards: I'm afraid your arrival has taken us a bit off guard, sir.

Leigh: I know. I'm off my schedule, I am. Between you and me, the new medication gives me the tinkles. Thought I'd come over for a tune-up.

Police Inspector: I am here at the orders of the French Judicial police. They claim you are transporting fugitives from the law on this plane.

Leigh: Is this one of those hidden camera programmes? Jolly good!

Police Inspector: This is serious, sir. The French police claim that you also may have a hostage onboard.

Remy: I feel like a hostage working for Sir Leigh, but he assures me that I am free to go.

Leigh: Inspector, I'm afraid I don't have time to indulge in your games. I'm late, and I'm leaving. If it is important for you to stop me, then you'll just have to shoot me.

Police Inspector:(draws gun) Stop! I will fire!

Leigh: Go ahead. My lawyers will fricassee your testicles for breakfast. And if you dare board my plane without a warrant, your spleen will follow.

Leigh: On the verge of unlocking one of history's greatest secrets, and he troubles himself with a woman who has proven herself unworthy of the quest.

Robert: Leigh, you lie entirely too well.

Leigh: Oxford Theatre Club. They still talk of my Julius Caesar. I'm certain nobody has ever performed the first scene of Act Three with more dedication.

Robert: I thought Caesar was dead in that scene.

Leigh: Yes, but my toga tore open when I fell, and I had to lie on stage for half an hour with my todger hanging out. Even so, I never moved a muscle. I was brilliant, I tell you.

  • Nobody is more indoctrinated than the indoctrinator.
  • History is always written by the winners. When two cultures clash, the loser is obliterated, and the winner writes the history books – books which glorify their own cause and disparage the conquered foe. As Napoleon once said, 'What is history, but a fable agreed upon?' By its very nature, history is always a one-sided account.
  • Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.
  • British judge man’s civility not by his compassion for his friends, but by his compassion for his enemies.
  • The blind see what they want to see.

Robert: When I was in the well, Teabing told you about, I thought I was going to die. What I did, was I prayed, to Jesus, to keep me alive so that I could go to school again. So I could play with my dog. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't alone down there. Why does it have to be human or divine, why couldn't human be divine. Why couldn't Jesus be a father and still capable of all of those miracles?

Quotes about The Da Vinci Code[edit]

  • We were apparently rather resistant to the idea of destroying witches in England, unlike views espoused in so-called books — and I use the word "book" very loosely — like The Da Vinci Code. [pretends to spit in disgust] It is complete loose stool water. It is arse-gravy of the worst kind.
  • The only difference between The Da Vinci Code and the gospels is that the gospels are ancient fiction while The Da Vinci Code is modern fiction.
  • The museum as mortuary, as site of death and entombment, starred in Dan Brown's best-selling Da Vinci Code. Yet the word most commonly linked with museums is 'boring'. Modern Londoners are said to see the British Museum as 'dusty, irrelevant and dull, ... the place of boring school trips'. It is also stupefying in its immensity. 'Teenagers looking for ancient artefacts have to face an expedition almost as fraught as Indiana Jones's adventures in the Temple of Doom'. In New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art, a fleet-footed guide promises to deliver the top dozen masterpieces in under an hour. The champion of 'the six-minute Louvre' sprints past the Venus de Milo, the Winged Victory of Samothrace, the Mona Lisa, exulting that 'there isn't a museum in the world that can keep me inside for very long'.

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