Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules (film)

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules is an 2011 American comedy film and a sequel to the film Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

Welcome to the next grade.

Rodrick Heffley[edit]

  • [to Greg] This "Mom Bucks" thing is a gold mine, muchacho. Better not ruin it for me.

Susan Heffley[edit]

  • Oh, honey, hi! Remember when we were young like this? And we used to dance and go to parties and stuff like that?

Dialogue[edit]

Holly Hills: Excuse me.
Greg: What?
Holly Hills: I said, "Excuse me". You're blocking the exit.
Greg: Oh, uh, [laughing] sorry.
Holly Hills: That's okay.

Rodrick: Hey, Greg. Can you break a leg or something so we can leave?
[Greg laughs and sighs. Rodrick realizes Greg is staring at Holly Hills.]
Rodrick: Oh. [laughs] That'll never happen. Not a chance. There's no way that girl will EVER talk to you.

Woman on record: [song: "Always" by Atlantic Starr] It must've been sent from up above, and I know you'll stay this way...
[Greg prepares to tap Holly on the shoulder.]
Bill: [over P.A.] STOP!!!!
[The music stops. Greg turns around.]
Bill: [over P.A.] Enough of that total lameness! Who's ready to ROCK?! Yeah! [plays the intro to "Cut Throat" by Kittie. Rodrick makes the "Double Horns" sign with both hands.]
Rodrick: Whoo!

Rowley: [panicking] What are we gonna do?!?
Greg: Stay calm. All we have to do is just stay here.
[Two teenagers grab Rowley and start dragging him along.]
Rowley: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOA!!!!!!!!!
Greg: ROWLEY! HANG ON!!!!!!
Rowley: [screaming] WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEELLP!
[Greg tries to rescue Rowley, but another teenager knocks him flat on his face. As Greg picks himself up, the sound of a record scratching is heard and the music comes to an abrupt stop.]
Susan: [over P.A.] GREG HEFFLEY!!!! This is your mother. Everything is going to be okay. Stay where you are and your father is going to come rescue you. I repeat, everything is going to be okay. Okay? Here he comes. Here comes Frank. I see him. He's on his way, okay?
[Dad picks Greg up and carries him off the rink.]
Greg: Dad!!!
Frank: I know. I know.
Girls: Tee hee hee hee!
Susan: [over P.A.] Okay. All right, everyone, go back to skating!!!
[As Dad sets Greg back on his feet, everyone resumes skating.]
Frank: You all right?
Greg: Yeah.
[Rodrick approaches.]
Rodrick: Hey, Romeo. How'd it go with the new girl?
Greg: [grunts and lunges at Rodrick] EEG! EEG! [screaming] WHOOOA!!!!
[Greg lands onto a girl's birthday cake. Rodrick laughs. Greg picks himself up off the smashed cake, his face covered in frosting.]
Little Girl: [to Greg] You ruined my birthday, you...JERK!!!!

Greg: It's unbelievable. Even at school, Rodrick is ruining my life.
Rowley: Shh. [whispers, pointing to Rodrick who is sleeping on the couch] He might hear you.
Greg: Nah! Watch.
[Greg drums loudly on Manny's toy drum in Rodrick's face. He remains asleep.]
Rowley: Holy cow!
Greg: He once slept through an entire day.

Rowley: Hey Greg, maybe we should-
Rodrick: CAN IT, CHUNKY CHEESE!!!

Rodrick: This is huge, I've gotta call the band. W-We've gotta practice. THIS COULD BE OUR BIG BREAK!!!
Susan: Ah, ah, ah, wait a second. Aren't you forgetting something?
Rodrick: What? I showered yesterday. Smell.
Susan: Okay, okay, okay, okay. We agreed that you'd give a drum lesson to Greg.
Greg: You were serious?
Susan: Who knows? Maybe you guys will really like it and we can form a family band. [gasps]
[The whole scene shifts over to the entire Heffley family, wearing matching outfits and performing with musical instruments.]
All: [singing] Hello, world. Here's a song that we're singin'. Come on, get happy! A whole lot of loving is what we'll be bringin'. We'll make you happy!

[Greg opens his Xbox 360 game system to put a video game in, and finds a huge chocolate chip cookie stuffed in the disc tray.]
Greg: WHAT?!
Rowley: Hey! A cookie.
Greg: Manny, what have you done?
Manny: I'm onwy thwee.
Susan: [walks in] What's going on? What'd you do to him?
Greg: Nothing, he ruined my video game.
Susan: [gasps] He didn't anything on purpose, did you honey?
Manny: No, I didn't.
Susan: No, he didn't. He's only three.
Manny: I'm onwy thwee.
[Manny pokes his tongue out at Greg as Susan takes him away.]

[Rodrick pulls up in front of Greg and Rowley in his van.]
Rodrick: Get in.
Greg: Why? What are you doing here?
Rodrick: Mom said she'd pay "Mom Bucks" if I drove you home from school. [both laughing]
Greg: We'd rather walk.
Rodrick: Get in. Now!!!! [gets out and opens the back door for Greg and Rowley. Greg immediately notices that the back seats are gone.]
Greg: What happened to the seats?
Rodrick:: Oh, I needed the room for my new equipment.
[Greg and Rowley hop into the van.]
Greg: How would you have the money for that?
Rodrick: Oh, you know..."Mom Bucks". [slams the door shut.]
Greg: There's no way. You only earned like...five.
[As Greg and Rowley sit down on the floor, Rodrick starts the van and floors it.]
Greg and Rowley: [screaming] WHHHHHOOOOOOA!!! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!!!!!!!!!

Greg: It looks fake. It has to look real.
Rowley: But how do I fake it if I'm actually falling backwards?
Greg: Maybe you need a gimmick so people notice you. Oh. Wear this on your head. [Rowley puts his underwear on his head] Now do it again.
Rowley: Why can't you be the one that falls backwards in the chair?
Greg: Because. I'm not the one wearing the underwear on my head.

All: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDPA!!
Grandpa: Next year, I want a chocolate cake!
Greg: That is if you're alive next year.
[Grandpa looks hurt]
Susan: [angrily] Greg!
Greg: Honesty, Mom!

Manny: Poopy.
[Greg looks down and sees he has chocolate on his pants]
Susan: Oh, Greg! It looks like he has a candy bar on there.
Greg: MANNY!

Little Girl: POOP! HE'S POOPED HIS PANTS!!!!!!
Greg: No, it isn't what it looks like! It isn't! It's chocolate! Chocolate, see?

Greg: Rodrick, help! The door's closed!
Rodrick: Yeah and it's staying closed. I don't need a middle schooler ruining my party.
Greg: What? I thought it was our party.
Rodrick: It's my party. Now keep QUIET or I'll lock you in the dryer!!!!
Greg: RODRICK!!!!!
Rodrick: [mockingly] Greg!!!

Rodrick: Okay. Everything's cool here, right, Greg?
Greg: Yeah, Mom, and I have your number if I need you.
Susan: [on the phone] Okay, sweeties. We'll see you tomorrow. Good night.

Rodrick: Listen up. If you do anything that embarrasses me, ANYTHING at all, I will-
Greg: You will what?
Rodrick: Just stay out of my way...nerds.

Girl: I have to go find my friend.
Rodrick: Yeah, yeah. I know. [Rodrick tells Greg and Rowley to touch their phone] REMINDER! You can't call, if you're dead.

Frank: [enraged] HEY! WHAT THE...?! [storms into room] You guys got something you want to tell me?
Rodrick: No.
Frank: [shows figurine] What was General Grant doing on the THERMOSTAT?!
Rodrick: I had no idea.
Frank: No idea. [looks at Greg] No idea, Huh? [Gregs shakes his heads, anxiously] Look! DON'T! These...These are OFF LIMITS! NO TOUCH! THEY ARE NOT TOYS, THEY'RE FIGURINES!!!

Manny: Mommy! Look!
Susan: Mommy is looking. Mommy's looked a thousand times. Mommy just needs to go to the potty for one minute, okay?
Greg: No! NO!

Susan: Greg, two words. Bathroom. Door.
[Greg anxiously hesitates to reply. Susan gives him a "Well?" look.]
Greg: [bursting out] IT WAS RODRICK! HE MADE ME! IT WAS HIS IDEA! He had the party! Someone wrote on the door, so we had to change it!
Susan: I knew it! I knew it.

Teacher: What's going on?
Patty: Greg Heffley [walks] is passing me notes.
Greg: No, I wasn't!

Frank: Greg, you are grounded for two weeks. Also, no video games for two weeks.
Susan: Rodrick, you may only drive to and from school for the next month. As the ringleader, you're also grounded for a month.
Rodrick: Mom, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again.
Susan: I know you won't. And to make sure, we're also not allowing you to perform in the talent show.
Rodrick: [shocked] What? No. No, you can't do that! Ground me for a year, I don't care, but you have to let me play in that show. This could be my big break.
Susan: I'm sorry.
Rodrick: [upset] Dad, come on, this isn't fair. I just got Bill in the band!
Frank: Actually, Rodrick, that doesn't help your case. Bill's kind of a jerk.
[Rodrick gives a silent "What?".]
Susan: Our decision is final.
[Greg looks silently at Rodrick; upset with the punishment, who goes upstairs, and Greg follows suit.]
Rodrick: [silent] You are so dead!

Susan: Rowley, what's wrong?
Rowley: My assistant, Scotty got stage fright. Now he doesn't want to do the show.

Rodrick: Now get out, doofus.
Greg: Okay. Later...butt-brain!

All: [sings] Exploded Diper! All over the place! Exploded Diper!
Greg: Okay, there! It's uploaded.
All: [sings] In your face! Exploded Diper!
Rowley: Holy cow!
Greg: This is huge! We're an internet sensation!
Rodrick: [off-screen] GREG, YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!!

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]