Ed, Edd, n Eddy (season 1)

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The following is a list of quotes from the first season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy.

The Ed-Touchables[edit]


Edd: (holding up a pair of bunny slippers) Wait, Eddy, you know the rules.
Eddy: Aw, come on, Edd, not again.

[Edd sees his magnifying glass is gone and squeals]
Edd: Eddddyyyy!!!! Someone took my magnifying glass! I feel so violated!

Eddy: Hey guys! What's big, round, and costs a nickel?
Ed and Edd: Jawbreakers!
Eddy: And away we go.
(Sarah and Jimmy get in his way)
Sarah: Now just a rotten minute! I found my dolly... under my bed!
Jimmy: It's true, and here she is, see? (showed them Sarah's dolly)

Eddy: You know what they say - a little childhood trauma builds character.

Nagged To Ed[edit]

[The Eds are in the forest, only to hear echoes of some voices of some mysteriously haunting spooks that scare them]
Spooks [Off-screen]: (giggling) Ed, Edd n Eddy - sittin in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

Eddy: [looking at the Kankers' artwork of them and the Eds] "Look! Artwork! It's 'Ed and May'! How cute!"
Edd: [saw a picture with him with Marie] "Is that me?"
Eddy: [saw a picture of Lee and himself are married] "What the-? AAAAH! That's not funny!" [crams picture into a ball]

Over Your Ed[edit]

Eddy: Ladies and gentlemen…
Ed: (excited) Ladies and gentlemen!
Eddy: Come buy our delicious…
Ed: Come buy our deciduous… (normal voice) Uh...
Eddy: En-O-Gee Drink.
Ed: Hello! (Kevin and Nazz walks by) I'm the Sales-Ed.
Kevin: (unimpressed) En-O-Gee Drinks?!
"Ed: (breaks the sign down) Here, try some.
Eddy: (panicking) Ed! (seeing the scam fall apart) Ed!

Ed: (swatting flies) Hey guys.
Eddy: What is it, Ed?
Ed: I say the cheese is always twice the fence post.
Eddy: (giving Ed a dark look) I wish I had a fence post, Ed.

Pop Goes the Ed[edit]

(The boys are trying to mingle on different ends of the table)
Ed: Hey, have you guys seen Attack of the Zombie Brain-Munchers?
Edd: The operation I saw involved fascinating new brain extraction techniques....
Ed: ...by hideous mutants with huge drooling mouths!
Edd: So precautions had to be taken to avoid contamination...
Ed: ...from popping eyeballs and swelling brains!
Edd: The incision was made here to relieve the tremendous pressure.
Ed: But it was too late, his head exploded...
Edd ...with the slicing and cleaving, the gnashing and the severing...
Both (Off-screen): ...bloody gory!
Ed: Aaaaaah! Oooooh! Eeeeeh! Aaaaaah!
Eddy: Guys! GUYS! Stop talking shop! I said "...mingle."!

Eddy: LADIES AND NON-LADIES! WE, THE EDS, ARE ABOUT TO ATTEMPT THE MOST DARING FEAT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN! THE DOUBLE-GANGLE, HALF-TWIST, HOLD THE ONION, CHANGE FOR A BUCK SPRINKLER LEAP! (He prepares to dive) Woo-ho-ho-ho!
(Eddy leaps into the air and does a series of tricks before he hits the ground. He then leaps up and starts running at his friends. He runs steadily until, just before he hits the sprinkler, he leaps high into the air. Ed and Edd scramble madly, trying to figure out where he'll come down. They catch Eddy in their arms, slightly unsteady. The trio manage to steady themselves)
The Eds: Yeah!
(However, at this exact moment, their swimsuits refuse to hold them anymore and burst. One flies onto Plank's head, one flies into Kevin's hot dog bun (replacing his hot dog), and one lands in the punch bowl. Jimmy grabs it in the ladle and drinks it down with the rest of the punch. The music then starts again. The Eds just stand there shocked, hands over their privates. Nobody notices; in fact, it seems as though everyone at the party was doing their best NOT to notice the Eds)
Eddy: (seeing the kiddie pool) Quick! Into that pool!
(The Eds hotfoot it to the pool and dive in)
Edd: (worried) "What are we gonna do now?
(The Eds are hiding in the pool after their swimsuits snap off)
Eddy: Someone's coming! Act natural.
(The Eds splash in the pool, then Sarah and Jimmy arrive)
Sarah: Quit hogging the pool! It's our turn!
Eddy: No it isn't!
Sarah: Yes it is!
Ed: We are not moving.
Sarah: ED! GET OUT!
Eddy: Hit the road! (splashes at Sarah and Jimmy, and she growls])' Put an egg in your shoe and beat it!
Jimmy: Come on, Sarah. Let's leave these guys alone.
Edd: Well, that was close.
Nazz: (Nazz then comes over) Hi Ed, Edd and Eddy. You boys look cool. Mind if I join you? (a pause and the Eds swallowed hard)
Eddy: "Uh, Ed's got three nipples like that bad guy in James Bond.
Nazz: (laughter) You're funny. (Nazz walks away)
Ed: What third nipple? Show me where it is.
Eddy: (While pointing to one of Ed's nipples and pinches Ed's skin) It's right here!
Edd: (points to the cake): "Look...
(A large cake is taken over to the table, and Ed attempts to go over and get some)
Eddy: (whilst dragging Ed back into the pool) Get down! Are you nuts?!?

Sir Ed-a-Lot[edit]

(Nazz and Kevin notice Eddy and the car)
Nazz: Wow, Eddy, cool car!
Kevin: (whilst Eddy closes the window) Hey dork! Whose car is it, you twerp?!
(Eddy cranks up the volume on the car radio, causing both Nazz and Kevin to run away)

Edd: Hey, Eddy. What are you doing?
Eddy: Just buffing the wheels.
Edd: Whose car is this, Eddy?
Eddy: Beats me. Where's Ed?

Sarah: As I was saying, I'M THE QUEEN!
Ed: And we are your "serviants".
Eddy: Next thing you know, she wants a throne.
(The scene dissolves to the next scene where Sarah sits on many chairs as the highest throne)
Eddy: (raising his tea cup) A toast to my big mouth!

A Pinch To Grow an Ed[edit]

Eddy: Nice boots, Mr. Inventor Smarty Pa- (is propelled into the garage ceiling and immediately falls back down in a daze) Nice pants, Mr. Smarty Boots Nice...
Edd: Careful, Eddy, that button is very sensitive.

Sarah: Ed, what are you doing?
Ed: Making Eddy tall.
Sarah: I'm telling mom!
Jimmy: I wanna be tall too!
Sarah: Come on, Jimmy!

Read All About Ed[edit]

Ed: (buried beneath a mountain of papers) Hey look, my horoscope - 'New enterprise fails to meet expectations'. What's that mean?

Edd: Summer rains, you can never predict them.

Quick Shot Ed[edit]

(Jonny is in the park reading a book to Plank)
Jonny: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a ... (startled) oh my!
Eddy: Smile!

Eddy: AAAAAAH! Plank's gone mad!
The Eds: (screaming) AAAAAAAH! Plank's gone mad! AAAAAAAH!

(Three lumps in a hall rug, presumably the Eds, are moving down the hall)
Sarah: (off-screen) Whee!
Jimmy: (also off-screen) Whee!
Sarah: C'mon Jimmy. (The Eds zip out from under the rug and hide behind a couch)
Jimmy: (still off-screen) Oh boy!
Eddy: Ssh! (The camera shifts to show Sarah and Jimmy playing with dolls)
Jimmy: You're a very pretty doll. Let's play!
Sarah: (as male doll) "I need the car." (as female doll) "Take the bus." (as male doll) "Okay, dear."
Jimmy: (to an soldier doll) "I wanna look just like you when I grow up."
Edd: Some animals get confused, and adopt another animal's traits and characteristics.
(Eddy creeps out and gets the camera ready)
Jimmy: (oblivious) Look, Sarah! (The camera goes off)
Sarah: (unaffected by the flash) Look what you did to Jimmy! (Jimmy is in the corner, weeping)
Eddy: Hold that pose!
(Eddy readies the camera. Sarah, having a different idea, rears back to throw a dollhouse at them. She hurls it)
Ed: Eddy, I don't think that's...
Eddy: AAH! (He ducks, and the dollhouse hits Edd instead)
Ed: Sarah, please don't throw things in the house! (A doll's head hits him in the mouth. Sarah then goes on a rampage)
Sarah: EAT DOLLS!
(Doll parts go flying everywhere as Ed and Eddy run away)
Eddy: Run!
Edd: (blind, with a dollhouse over his head) Sarah's gone mad! (He feels for the windows. He manages to pull the blinds up, allowing him to see. He screams and runs away with the other two. They get outside, and Ed and Eddy hide behind a fence, but Edd keeps running)
Eddy: Where's Double D?
Ed: after a crash is heard) There. (Edd has run into a mailbox. All of the dollhouse with the exception of the door (located in his mouth) is off his head)
(Edd is unable to talk because of the door as he muffling)
Eddy: What? What?
Edd: (He continues muffled before Eddy opens the door) Look! (The Eds turn to see someone dancing in a second-story window. They head off to take pictures)
Ed: Is that Nazz?
(Kevin's trash can comes rolling up)
Kevin: Dork dork dork. (The can crashes against a tree in Nazz's yard, and he climbs out, dizzy) I see ya! [refocusing] That's it, I'm coming to get ya! (Eddy takes a picture, blinding him again) Whoa! Where'd ya go, dorks? (He heads off down the sidewalk away from them. The Eds laugh at him and climb the tree)

An Ed Too Many[edit]

Edd: (dreamily) And with good luck, the daily chore of applying fabric softener would become a thing of the past!

Ed: (hearing the rumbling sound) EDDY!!! Help me! (jumps into Eddy's arms)
Eddy: Hey! You're giving me a hernia, Ed!
Ed: It sounds like the howl of a werewolf from the belly of Hades!
Eddy: Ah! Get off me, Ed! (throws him down) That's your belly!
Ed: (stares at his rumbling stomach for a few seconds and chuckles) I'm hungry.
Eddy: Let's go to my house and make some pizza!
Edd: I'll make the sauce!
Ed: I'll get in the way and make a big mess.

Jimmy: (feebly kicking Eddy) Where is Sarah?! I want Sarah! I miss Sarah! Give her back!
Eddy: (to Double-D, ignoring Jimmy) Let's get this over with...

Ed-n-Seek[edit]

(The Eds have the opportunity to hide in a game of Hide-n-Seek. Eddy is heading over to his hiding spot with some food)
Jimmy: ...81...82...83...
Eddy: ...24...25...26...
Jimmy: "...27...28...29...
(Eddy gets into a metallic bush, which is their hiding spot)
Eddy: Ha! This is the best hiding spot!
Ed: (with his mouth full) We can stay here forever.
Edd: At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes.

(Eddy has an idea to get the kids to come out of their hiding spot)
Eddy: (in a lady-like voice) HELP ME! HELP! SOMEBODY STOLE MY PURSE! OH, SOMEBODY HELP!
Ed: Hmm. PLANK! YOUR MOMMA'S CALLING!
(the camera zooms over to a bush and Plank pops up)
Eddy: They must be cheating.

Look Into My Eds[edit]

Ed: Look into the circley thing!
Rolf: You crazy?!
Ed: (turning to Eddy) It's not working, Eddy!
Eddy: Spin it, bean dip!
Ed: Thanks, Eddy!

Lee: Look at me! I'm a movie star!
May: "I'm a TV star!
Marie: You've been cancelled. I'm a TV star.

Tag Yer Ed[edit]

Edd: Your techniques are incorrect, Eddy. To extract milk from a cow, you must use its udder.
(all three of them stare at the cow's udder)
Eddy: I ain't touching that.

Ed: Take me to your leader! (charges at the Kankers)
Eddy: Give 'em the Burr-Head Bump, Ed!
Ed: I can't Eddy, my mom says I can't fight girls!

Fool on the Ed[edit]

Edd: (recoiling from the handwritten Prank Master card in Ed's hand) He's such a horrible printer.
Ed: You hold it, Double D.
Edd: But I have no idea where it's been!

Ed: (sniffing the bad smell) Something smells good!
Edd: (holding his nose) It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence.
Eddy: Yes! I stink, therefore I am! (faints)

A Boy and His Ed[edit]

Eddy: (blows a klaxon, then chants) Kevin, Kevin, he's our man!
Edd: We can't do it-
Eddy: But Kevin sure can!
(Eddy plays a bass drum six times, Ed bangs his head on trash can lids; Edd blows a noisemaker that makes the sound a cow makes. The drum rolls away as Ed brings two lids, with Eddy in it)
The Eds: (Ed moons, showing his butt with "IN" on his underwear, Eddy is standing upright with the "K" painted on his front body, Edd holds a sign "EV") Raaaaaah, Kevin!
(Edd realizes they spelled it as "KINEV" and fixes it, then smiles. But Kevin, who is not fooled, holds up a sign that says "Dorks")

Ed: Hmm... Kevin's got a pretty fancy garage.
Edd: (referring to Kevin's bathroom) Must be a built-in car wash.
The Eds: Huh?
Kevin: (seeing the Eds in the bathtub with him naked and taking a bath) What are you dorks doing in here?

It's Way Ed[edit]

Ed: What's a fad?
Edd: When something insignificant becomes popular.
Eddy: Right! And we know the Eds are way insignificant!

(Fad Freaker has become popular, just as the Eds have given up trying)
Eddy: We're behind again!
Edd: Cheer up, Eddy! My mom always says fads go in a cycle. In another ten years, we'll be back in style.
Ed: I'm hungry!
Eddy: (Off-blank screen) Shut up, Ed.

Laugh Ed Laugh[edit]

Edd: (sees a sign that says "Quarantine") Oh, dear! A quarantine!
Ed: I've seen this before.
Eddy: Where?
Ed: (points) There.
(Each and every house have quarantine signs everywhere)
Edd: It must be an epidemic!
Eddy: So I guess we're the only ones not sick.

(Eddy is locked into a padded shed and presented a large amount of fake money)
Eddy: WE'LL BUY A TRUCK-LOAD OF JAWBREAKERS!
Ed: What do you mean?
Eddy: What do you mean 'What do you mean'? With all this glorious...(looks closely at the bill he's holding and sees a picture of Ed's face drawn on it) What the-?! It's fake!
(Edd put his finger to his mouth)
Ed: I drew it myself!
(Edd looks back and forth)
Ed: Eddy's mad."
Edd: Correct. He's back to normal.

Dawn of the Eds[edit]

Eddy: We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks.
Edd: Uhh, actually, Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth.
Eddy: Uh, you don't know what you're talking about. What do you think, Ed? Ed? Ed? Ed? ED! HEY!!! What's clogged up your brain, Ed?
Ed: That! See? "Robot Rebel Ranch"!
The Eds: (amazed): Ooooooh.
Ed: "'Marooned on a distant planet!'. 'Visitors in the void!'. 'No escape!!'. Huh? AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! (Zooms into 'Adults Only' on the poster twice) It's not fair! Aw, if only I were older.
Edd: Don't worry Ed. We'll see it on TV in a year.
Ed: Yeah, with all the good stuff cut out.

Eddy: Hey, is this thing ready yet?
Edd: Well, actually Eddy, since it's just a prototype and still in need of...
(Eddy gets on space rocket Edd made)
Edd: Eddy!
Eddy: There's only one seat in this thing! Why'd you just put one seat, Double D?
Edd: Well, I told you this is the prototype. When this is properly tested, then I'll build the real one.
Eddy: Yeah, whatever. Let's go, Double D. Lift-off!
Edd: Well, Eddy, I still need to-
Eddy: Double D, fire the rocket!
Edd: (sighs) Fine, but you... ah... you'd better wear this. (Puts pan on Eddy's head)
Eddy: Oh, yeah. (Edd sighs) Three, two, one, ignition! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
(Eddy goes flying on the rocket but it dissolves in the air and Eddy starts falling down)
Edd: Oh! Better test the parachute. (presses a button on a remote. Eddy's seat spawns a parachute) Well, at least that worked. (drops the remote on the ground, but lands face down, causing the button to be pressed again; the parachute then falls off and Eddy falls on Edd)
Eddy: Hey, Double D! The rocket needs work!
Edd: IT'S A PROTOTYPE!!
Ed: THE ROBOTS ARE COMING! THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!

Vert-Ed-Go[edit]

(the Eds follow Jonny to look for wood)
Jonny: (points) There! (The camera zooms over to a trash can full of garbage and Eddy picks up a popsicle stick from it)
Eddy: A dirty popsicle stick?
Ed: (grabs the popsicle stick from Eddy) Got it, Eddy.
Eddy: (groans) We need large pieces of wood, Jonny. Tell Plank to quit fooling around.
Jonny: Okay, okay! He said follow him!

Eddy: Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?
Ed: For protection.
(Eddy attempts to get the helmet off Ed's butt)
Eddy: It's meant for your head.
Ed: It's my butt!
Eddy: It's not safe!
Ed: Eddy, stop!
Eddy: It's not meant--
Ed and Eddy: Aaaah! (They both fall down)

Who, What, Where, Ed[edit]

(Sarah and Nazz playing badminton, and Eddy grabs onto Sarah's racket)
Sarah: Hey!
Eddy: Give me your racket, Sarah!
Sarah: My serve! (She uses Eddy as a ball and Eddy hits the net, then bounces back. Sarah steps out of the way, and Eddy breaks through a fence.) Don't ever touch my racket!

Ed: (Ed is running round the entire cul-de-sac asking for a cup of clams) Can Eddy come out to play?
Eddy: (exasperated) I'm right beside you, Ed!
Ed: (surprised and pleased) HI EDDY!

Keeping Up With The Eds[edit]

Ed: THE GOAT ATE SARAH! THE GOAT ATE MY SISTER!
Eddy: Ed looking for the goat?
Edd: I think he found it.

Ed: (surprised to see his sister alive at the window) Sarah?! How did you get out of the goat, Sarah?
Sarah: (swipes her doll from Ed) Gimme my dolly, you big lummox!
Ed: (to Eddy and Edd) Sarah's fine.

Eds-Aggerate[edit]

(After Jimmy tripped in Ed's big footprints)
Rolf: Look at the size of this footprint, I haven't seen feet this big since my great-grandmother!

Ed: (with a hammer on the side of his face after eating the cake) Aaaah, my itch is gone.
Eddy: Ed, it's on your face.
Ed: What's on my face?
Eddy: The hammer.
Ed: (panicking) A TARANTULA! AAH! GET IT OFF, EDDY!

Oath to an Ed[edit]

Rolf: (after the microwave exploded and drenched Rolf and the Eds with food) Such waste and disrespect to the fast food stuffers is not allowed in the Urban Rangers! But, seeing you covered in filth reminds me of my youth. Next badge.

Rolf: Those Ed-Boys are crazy like chickens. Except they lay no eggs! Ah, candied beets to calm my nerves.

A Glass Of Warm Ed[edit]

(Edd leaves his house and rushes over to Eddy's)

Edd: (tapping on Eddy's window) Eddy. Eddy. Oh...Eddy, are you awake? (Eddy groans and gets up to go to the window) This is an emergency. (Eddy looks out at Edd) It's Ed.
Eddy: (blearily opened his back door) Who turned off the sun?
Edd: Good. You're awake. We have a problem, Eddy! (talked rapidly in Eddy's point of view) Ed was in my house. My kitchen. My refrigerator! Not that it's any different than any other day. But, well, it was late, y'see. And I usually like to get eight hours of sleep. But Ed was eating. Has eaten. Has taken all my food! I asked him. Talked to him. But no reaction! He just kept eating. Do you hear me Eddy. Ed. Is. Sleepwalking!!!
(Eddy yawns. The screen door of his house slides open, and Ed walks out, carrying armloads of food)
Eddy: (surprised) What's he doing with all my food?
Edd: Ed is like a swarm of locusts ready to purge the cul-de-sac and all its good people of their food!
Eddy: (unmoved) Y'know, you scare me when you talk like that. Let's go see what Big Ed's up to!

Edd: Ed, did you know that you've been sleepwalking? And that you've consumed all the food within a five block radius of your bed?
Ed: Not only that, but I feel like I have consumed all the food within a five block radius of my bed. Huh? (he looks at Edd's cactus plant named Jim, which was half-eaten by Ed, who didn't know while sleepeating) Oh, Jim got a haircut.
Edd: Don't you remember anything, Ed?!?
Eddy: (eating a loaf of bread with soda) You were great! You ate everything, including Jimmy!
(The buttons on Ed's pajama top burst off)
Ed: (talking to his belly, thinking he ate Jimmy) OH NO! JIMMY, DON'T TELL SARAH! Guys, help me!
Eddy: Don't worry! We're gonna sleep over, so we can keep an eye out for you. Got any extra blankets?
(He slides open Ed's closet door to reveal his closet is stocked with food. It all falls out in an avalanche which Eddy barely avoids. Edd snickers at the ordeal)
Ed: C'mon, Jimmy. Time for bed.

Flea Bitten Ed[edit]

Ed: How's it look, Eddy?
Eddy: Ed, you put the sign on upside-down!
Ed: No, I put the sign on the garage!
Eddy: Just flip it over, Ed.
Ed: Flip it? Got it!
Edd: Ah... I think I'm ready to tackle anything with my fine assortment of short and long, hard and soft hairbrushes.
(Ed flips the entire garage over)
Ed: I flipped it, Eddy!
Edd: Well, I can read it...
Eddy: Ed's Pet 'Boutick' is open for business!
(Ed laughs, as the camera focusses on the sign, before fading to the next scene)

Eddy: Anything good on Double D?
Edd: (scouring TV listings) Ooh there's a documentary on mollusks.
Ed: Boring! How about 'Bob: Defender of the Bunion People'?

Button Yer Ed[edit]

Edd: It seems the fly has lodged itself into Eddy's voice box, disabling his ability to talk!
Ed: (yanks one of Eddy's hairs off of his head. Eddy squeals in pain) Eddy can't talk!

(Edd and Ed are sitting on the front porch as Eddy is calling out to them from a distance)
Edd: The brain is an amazing organ, Ed. It's actually fooling me that Eddy's calling out to us.
Ed: Were Rolf's fish sticks good, Double D?

Avast Ye Eds[edit]

Eddy: Is this thing on?
Edd: Eddy, just speak into the mic.
Eddy: What, this?
Edd: Yes!
Eddy: Okay, okay. Welcome, passengers, I'm Captain Eddy of Eddy's Creek Cruise, where you get more bang for your buck. I'd like you to sit back, relax and enjoy the soothing sounds of 88 fingers Eddward.
Edd: This instrument is so annoying. (Edd then proceeds to play perhaps the best example of pedal steel guitar you will ever hear in a cartoon. Everybody's jaws drop in amazement at his legendary picking)

(Jonny is seen dipping his hand in the water and splashing it back and forth)
Jonny: There's something about the high seas and pedal steel guitar that makes me yearn for adventure, Plank.
Jimmy: Eddy, we've run out of refreshments. And this rubber tube's giving me a rash.
Eddy: Hey kid, I'm on my break, d'you mind?
Jonny: Captain Eddy! Look!
Eddy: What is it, Ed?
Ed: (looking through the wrong end of the telescope) I can't see it, Eddy, it is too far away.
Eddy: You're looking through the wrong end! Gimme that thing. (Ed throws it down, and Eddy is hit on the head with it. He picks it up and looks through it at the approaching vessel) Hmm. Hmm. What the...(recognizing the crew) Uh oh.
The Kanker Sisters: (waving on cue) Hiya boys!
Eddy: PIRATES!
Jimmy and Edd: (terrified, echoing him) Pirates!
Jonny: [intrigued] Pirates?
Jimmy: (clutching at Jonny) Pirates like to roughhouse. I'm scared! (whimpering)
Jonny: (his interest piqued) Do they?
Eddy: Ed! Fire up the engine!
Ed: Roger walnut, Eddy! Jumping. (He jumps down, rocking the boat, and puts his lower half in the water again) Kick my feet, kick my feet, kick my feet.
Eddy: Faster, Ed!
Ed Kick my feet faster, kick my feet faster, Kick my feet faster.
Lee: I wanna be their barnacle of love!
(The Kankers giggle)
May: Barnacle!
Jonny: We're being chased by pirates, Plank! Oh boy!
Jimmy: Someone get me off this merry-go-round called life!
Lee: Let's go ring their doorbell, girls.
(The Kankers proceed to raise a giant sail, propelling them toward the Eds at a much higher rate)
Eddy: (confident in getting away) We'll hit shore in no time and run like cowards!
Edd: (noticing the new pace the Kankers have set) Um, Eddy?
Eddy: (oblivious) Thank me later, Double D. (He turns around, and gasps at how close the Kankers are)
Lee: Stop teasing us, boys!
Eddy: Ed, do something!
Ed: Ahoy! (He pulls on his right ear in much the same way one would pull on the starter to a gas-powered machine. His lips start to rumble, but stop. He tries it again, with the same result. Ed then attempts it a third time, and this time is successful. He plunges his head into the water, and the little ship takes off like a rocket. Everyone on board utters cries of either joy or fear)
Jimmy: Oh, the misery!
Jonny: Wa-hoo-hoo! Hang on, Plank!
(Jimmy is violently ill over the side)
Eddy: Whoa!
Edd: Stop!
Jonny: Whee! Come and get us, pirates!
May: (as Lee seethes) Our treasure's getting away!
Marie: (going over to a weed whacker attached to the back of the boat) Not for long! (She starts the weed whacker and lowers it into the water. The Kankers catch up to the Eds in seconds, destroying their momentum and stopping them)
Edd: (soaked) Eddy, I'm so wet!
Lee: No hard feelings, buttercups!
May: Let's kiss and make up. (The Kanker Sisters make kissy faces)
Jimmy: (he points upward) Oh look!
(Everybody looks up. Jonny is revealed to be standing on top of the Kankers giant sail. He plunges Plank into it, and then slides down, ripping it straight through the middle)
Marie: (stating the obvious) That kid's ripping our sail!
(Jonny jumps off the Kankers boat and swims onto Eddy's Creek Cruise)
Jimmy: Just like Errol Flynn! (everyone cheers)
Lee: Those were my best bed-sheets. Time for the heavy artillery! (pulls out a her hairpin) Sink 'em, May!
May: (putting the pin in a rubber band and aiming) Lee, my patch. (Lee lifts the eyepatch. May takes aim and fires it directly into the tire)
Jimmy: (watching) Look! (the hairpin hits the tire) Jonny! Save us!
Eddy: (belligerent) I'm the captain here, I'll handle it! (walks over to the hairpin) Oh look, a bobby pin. So scary. (starts to pull it out)
Edd: Eddy! Please don't!
Eddy: What? It's just stuck! (He pulls it out. Holding up the hairpin) See?
(All the air rushes out of the tire, and the boat spins around the creek out of control. In the end, Ed is standing on his tippy-toes, balanced on the small piece of rubber, holding all of his friends in his grasp)
Ed: New ride.
(The rubber can't support their weight, and they all fall into the creek)

Rolf: Hello, Ed-boys! When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat! (Edd hands Rolf the deflated inner tube) What? Huh?
Edd: I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable.
Eddy: Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress.
Ed: I'm stuffed!
Jimmy: (floating by in the background) Hair emergency! Hair emergency!

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