Ed, Edd, n Eddy (season 4)

The following is a list of quotes from the fourth season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy.

An Ed In the Bush

Eddy: Boy, if that ain't a fluke, I don't know what is. [An over-ripened tomato lands on Edd's face.] Looking for trouble, 'Urban Nerdos'?!

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Ed: End of first sequence and fade to black!

See No Ed

Rolf: [sees a rubber glove with cotton glued on it] Why has someone glued fluff to this rubber glove? Is the world coming to an end?

Is There an Ed in the House?

Edd: You may not be feeling well; I can sympathize with that, but I'm trying to- [Sarah blows a raspberry in Edd's face. Edd staggers backwards in shock]

Sarah: Serves you right!

Edd: [angrily] Why you-!

[He rushes at Sarah but Ed grabs him]

Ed: No, Double D!

Edd: If I catch your cold, I'll... I'll... Just give me five minutes with that germ spreading brat!

An Ed Is Born

Edd: If I were you, I'd write a book. A biography of sorts.

Eddy: You don't get out much, do you?

Ed: If I were me, I'd make a home movie.

Eddy: That's it! Double D, you can be cameraman.

Edd: But Eddy, we need a-

Eddy: I'll be exec. producer, exec. director and, of course, the star.

Edd: We need a-

Eddy: Ed can be....Ed.

Edd: As I was saying, we need a-

Ed: [throwing a camcorder into Edd's hands] Camera, stat.

Edd: Ed, why do you keep a camera in your dryer?

Ed: What?

Eddy: Let's make a movie!

Ed: Can I lick the bowl?

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[Edd is videotaping Eddy in the junkyard]

Edd: No backs to the camera, please; it's rude, you know.

Eddy: Shut up and roll! Remember this place, bro? The junkyard; your old hangout? All the kids are chicken to come here.

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Eddy: So, bro, as you can see, I'm a big shot now. No more beatin' up little Eddy, hey, big brother?

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[Ed is playing with the camera]

Edd: Ed, you be careful with that- Oh, what do I care? It's his camera.

Ed: Man the helms! Dive! Dive!

[Ed swallows the camera. The screen goes black]

Edd: [sternly] Ed, what have you done? Open it! Open it!

[Ed opens his mouth. The camera, inside his garbage filled stomach, is facing upwards at Edd, who is looking down Ed's throat and wearing surgical gloves]

Edd: You should know better than to eat the camera. Just think what it will do to your digestive tract!

[Edd reaches inside and takes the camera out]

Ed: Boy, I can't wait to see that part, Double D.

Edd: Yes, well, let's not and say we did, Ed.

One Size Fits Ed

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Eddy: Give me the cash!

[Edd grabs Eddy's face]

Edd: Eddy! Taking note is a essential part of learning.

Eddy: Are you touching my face?

Edd: Oh! Uh! Yes! Sorry!

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Eddy: I just learned something today, Double D.

Edd: [intrigued] You have?! Tell me, Eddy!

Eddy: We should open up a weight loss clinic! I'll be rich!

Pain in the Ed

Rolf: [looking up at the fake Statue of Liberty] Why is the Lady of Liberty looming over the cul-de-sac?

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Eddy: Eh, good riddance. Violins are for sissies. Why if I played an instrument, I get something manly, like a kazoo or something.

Ed Overboard

Lee: You've got a great personality. Besides, who needs good looks when you've got us?

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[When Edd removes a plaster from Ed's back.]

Edd: Is that a cookie?

Ed: Yep. (eats it) Saved it.

Edd: THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, IRRATIONAL... it's nice to have you back, Ed.

One of Those Eds

[Everyone is fighting over the quarter, but Edd gets everyone's attention by sounding an airhorn]

Kevin: Dude.

Sarah: What are you trying to do, blow our heads off?!?

Edd: Crude, yet effective.

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Ed: If you smelt it, you dealt it, Eddy.

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Ed: What can you do, if you live in a shoe, and you ain't got no sole?

They Call Him Mr. Ed

Eddy: I almost up-chucked.

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Eddy: [answers the phone] Talk to me! [whistles a bit] Trade it! Buy it! Sell it! [hangs up]

Ed: [jumping] Up! Up! Up!

Eddy: Put some muscle into it, Ed!

Ed: You got it, chief! And up! [leaps straight up into the sky] WHOOOOOAA!!

Eddy: Keep that up, Ed!

Ed: Eddy, I'm coming! [dives down and crashes through the desk]

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Edd: Miss Nazz, page Jimmy for me, would you?

Nazz: [filing her nails] Sorry, Mr. D, but I'm up to my neck with filing.

Edd: [sarcastically] Of course you are.

For the Ed, By the Ed

Rolf: A wooden board saved you from three evil witches and a creepy crawly? MAMA!! THE FAIRY-TALE THAT HAUNTS ROLF HAS COME TRUE!!!

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[Plank is hailed as the neighbourhood's new king]

Eddy: If anyone's "king" around here, it's me!

Little Ed Blue

Eddy: [mockingly] "I want free popcorn, I want free popcorn!" What do I look like, some popcorn fairy?!

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(Ed sits alone on a stump in the park, his friends arrive)

Edd: Ed? Is there anything we can do to make you feel better?

Eddy: Hey Double D, is that a lump on a log? [chuckles]

[Ed picks up the stump and turns away]

Edd: Ed certainly is long in the face, Eddy.

Eddy: That's because he doesn't have a chin, Einstein!

Ed: [yelling at Eddy] SHUT UP!!!

Eddy: [yelling at Ed] YOU SHUT UP!!!

Edd: Eddy, please! Ed's having a bad day!

Eddy: Ed's a wuss. [shouting at Ed] Hey, rumpled forehead! I'll give you 3, to GET OVER YOURSELF! [He pulls at Ed's jacket] 1! Smile, you miserable...! [He pulls at Ed's jacket again] 2! Snap out of it, ya...

Ed: [yelling at Eddy] YOU TORMENT ME! [He pushes Eddy away. Eddy crashes into a tree and sits there, dazed. The top of the tree falls over, pinning him to the roots]

Eddy: I'm hurt now.

[Edd brings out a stool and sits by Ed. He decides to try compassion]

Edd: Ed? [He touches Ed's shoulder and looks disgusted. He begins to clean the jacket with a spray bottle] Do you know what I like when I'm feeling crabby? [he finishes cleaning and hugs Ed] A big hug to squeeze those cares away!

Ed: [shoving Edd away] Touch me again and I will squash you!

[Edd looks hurt]

Eddy: [still crushed in the middle of the broken tree] Way to go, Mr. Sensitive. A hug. Oh, that's rich.

Edd: Ed? If you care to share your feelings, I want you to know I'll be right here for you, my friend.

[Edd notices that Ed is scraping the bark off the stump using just his fingers, Ed turns and looks at Edd, doom in his eyes]

Edd: [while Eddy is prying himself free] Well, let's leave Ed to gather his thoughts, Eddy. A little self-introspection may do him a world of good. Coming, Eddy?

Eddy: What're ya gonna do now, knit him a sweater?

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(Edd and Eddy enter the park, They stop, Kevin is bouncing a baseball of Ed's head)

Edd: Kevin! What in heaven's–

Eddy: Pass it here, Kev!

(Eddy goes to join the game, Eddy and Kevin amuse themselves by catching the balls they bounce of Ed's head)

Eddy: Double D, you've gotta try this!

(Ed grabs Eddy and shapes him into a bat)

Kevin: Potent. [laughs]

(Ed takes a swing at Kevin and sends the jock flying. Eddy is tossed away, used for his intended purpose)

Eddy: Is he happy yet?

Edd: Not even a smirk, Eddy.

Eddy: This stinks. (He reads from a comic book called "Marlene of the Deep") "It's tentacles tightened, sucking the marrow–“

(Ed slams the book shut on Eddy, the book falls loose, revealing Eddy's head as a page from a comic book, Eddy is saying, "Ow." He goes over to Edd and tags him)

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(Ed has a turkey on his lap. On top of it is a lit candle. He and Edd are wearing party hats)

Edd: Go on, Ed! Blow out the candle, and make a big happy wish!

(Ed stuffs the turkey into Edd, Edd goes over to Eddy and tags him in, Not liking this, Eddy tags Edd back, It turns into a slapping match)

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(Edd and Eddy are putting on a puppet show using Baron O'Beefdip and a robot alien)

Baron O'Beefdip: La la la! Mr. Robot, our moody friend sure could use a good chuckle. Why don't you sing him a song, and lift his spirits?

Eddy: I hate puppet shows! (He tosses the robot away)

Edd: Ooh, you're not even trying! You pick that up, Mister!

(Ed pulls a cord on Baron O'Beefdip's back A flame shoots out of the toy's mouth, barbecuing the puppet show alongside with Edd and Eddy's tops)

Eddy: (amazed) Nice toy.

(Edd drops Baron O'Beefdip and whispers in Eddy's ear, Eddy leaps out of the box)

Eddy: NO WAY! Forget it! I ain't doin’ it!"

Edd: But Eddy! Look at him!" (He indicates the grumpy Ed) If Ed doesn't cheer up soon, he could become a perpetual mope! Do you realize how miserable our lives would be?

(Eddy stands there grumpily)

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[Eddy is still grumpy, but he is now dressed as a rooster]

Eddy: (dancing) Bock bock bock. Look at me, I'm a chicken. Cluck cluck cluck. You love chickens. Chickens make you happy. Buck buck buck. How 'bout I lay an egg?

(Ed comes over to Eddy and pulls his cowl down over him, Ed then shoves Eddy away)

Edd: You forgot to wiggle your tail-feathers, Eddy.

Eddy: THAT'S IT! [He runs over to Ed.] I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR BAD MOOD! CRACK A SMILE! BUST A GUT! BE HAPPY! (He slaps Ed on the back of his head) GET OVER IT!

Ed: [enraged] RAAAAHHHHH!! (His eyes turn red and he rips his eyebrow in half) [screaming louder] BIG TROUBLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

A Twist of Ed

Edd: Good golly almighty! What is that horrible odor?! Ed?

Ed: Not I, Double D. (gestures Eddy) Talk to Mister Stink Pot.

Eddy: Hey! I had a Kanker hairball stuck in my shower!

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May: What just happened there?!

Lee: Mom was right. Throw a man a bone and he'll mess up the carcass.

The Good Ole Ed

[Ed has found a spatula]

Ed: Oh look, A flipper!

Eddy: It's a spatula, stupid.

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[Eddy and Ed are about to pour the giant vat of pancake mix]

Ed: I love pancakes!

Eddy: Shut up and pour, lumpy.

Your Ed Here

Edd: If it makes you feel better I'll tell you my middle name.

Eddy: Ok.

Edd: Well, Eddy. My middle name, is Marion. [Eddy stares blankly at him for a while]

Eddy: [laughter] Marion! That's a girl's name!

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[Eddy picks Edd up by the shoulders and carries him into the middle of the street]

Edd: [annoyed] Would you mind telling me what has gotten into you today?

Eddy: Forgive me!: [He bends Edd over and plants a huge kiss on his lips]

Thick as an Ed

Edd: Ed, I insist you remove that jacket immediately!

Ed: Ok. If you give me your hat.

Edd: My hat? Why, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard! Absolutely not!

Eddy: Give him the stupid hat so we can get some frogs.

Edd: The point is my hat doesn't smell!

Ed: Oh, yes it does.

Edd: No, it does not! You're just saying that because I said your jacket stank!

Ed: Stinky hat!

Edd: You've got a repulsive, fermented detachment of cheese in your pocket, Ed!

Ed: Stinky hat!

Edd: Odiferous curdcoat!

Ed: Stinky hat!

Edd: Rancid roquefort wrap!

Ed: STINKY HAT!

Edd: PUNGEANT PARMESAN POCKET!

Ed: Oh, yeah?! STINKY HAT!

Edd: COAT OF CANTANKEROUS CAMEMBERT!!

Ed: STINKY HAT!!

Eddy: SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!

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Edd: Ed! Get rid of that carcass immediately!

Ed: Stinky hat!

Edd: Shirt of fledged flounder!

Ed: Stinky hat!

Edd: Tainted trout top!

Ed: Stinky hat!

Sorry, Wrong Ed

Eddy: I say we test it!

Edd: Test it?

Ed: Like, mustard?

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Edd: Oh, look Ed! A Skunk! Did you know in some parts it's also known as a Polecat?

[Eddy appears after being sprayed by the skunk.]

Ed: Who stepped on a duck?!

Robbin' Ed

Eddy: A techno-gizmo like this could cost you up to a million bucks, but for this special offer, you can have it for the low, low price of 25 cents!

A Case of Ed

Ed: It sound like Sockhead, bonehead.

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Ed: [eating one of Edd's shoes] Mm… How long have you been a size 2?

Edd: 'Size 2'? But I've always worn a size 5 shoe, doctor.

Eddy: Sounds like another sympton to me.

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[Ed and Eddy have locked themselves in Eddy's house, leaving Kevin and Edd outside]

Edd: [to Kevin] Oh, look! Eddy's spare house key! [He presents it to Kevin and then drops it on the ground, turning away with a smug smile] Oops! How careless of me! I seem to have misplaced it!

[Kevin, understanding where Edd's going, picks the key up with an equally sadistic grin. He unlocks the door and joins the dance. The dance continues until Eddy sees Kevin next to him]

Eddy: No! Not the face, Kev! [Kevin begins beating on Eddy, and drags Ed down to join them]

Edd: [dressed as a doctor] Kevin's Justified Pummel Disorder. Symptoms are a bruised right eye, followed by a sore rear end, and a rapid release of hot air from an overinflated ego! [He laughs]

Hand-Me-Down Ed

Jimmy: I am Jimmy! Hear me roar!

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Ed: Baby sister is all cuddly and sweet like Dad's bushy ear!

Run for Your Ed

May: What number do you dial for 911?

[Lee throws May against the wall and smashes the telephone.]

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Ed: I despense with you, disgusting detergent of the deep. [throws away the dish soap] For I, Ed, can remove the bottle with sticky tape.

Edd: Sticky tape?

Eddy: Stick? You're already stuck, numbskull.

Ed: And your point is...

Stiff Upper Ed

[Eddy attempts to show his boat to Sarah and Jimmy, but Ed accidentally breaks part of the boat, causing it to "sink"]

Eddy: What?!? We're sinking?!

Edd: Lifeboats! I FORGOT TO MAKE LIFEBOATS!!

Ed: It wasn't me!

Here's Mud in Your Ed

Rolf: Today Rolf is forced to celebrate his country's traditional Thank You to the Noble Guardian Pigeon!

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Ed: Work that body! Work that body! Don't you hurt nobody!

Stuck in Ed

[Eddy finds out they're too late to get free Jawbreakers, and attacks Ed]

Eddy: This is your fault! Admit it! [quieter] If you do, I promise not to leave bruises.

Kevin: "Hey, you lovebirds, vamoose. Babysitting's over, 'cause I just scored big time. Later!" [He walks off, pocket full of change.]

Ed: [waving goodbye] "You forgot to say 'dorks,' Kevin!"

Eddy: [Still staring at Kevin in disbelief] "Did you see Kevin's pockets? They're bursting with cash, I tell ya!"

Edd: "Let's hope for Kevin's sake those stitches don't tear. Wouldn't it be a shame if he were to lose that plentiful peck of pennies?"

Eddy: [not getting it] "Yep." [A slightly deflated ball can be heard bouncing]

Edd: "Yup? Is that all you have to say for yourself? Yup? No rash, nonsensical quip to defraud Kevin of his fortune?"

Eddy: [somewhat confused] "Scam Kevin." [to Ed] "That's what he said, right?" [now to Edd] "I'm way ahead of you, Sockhead." [The Eds huddle.] "Here's the plan, boys."

[Eddy says nothing.]

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Edd: "Care to submit an idea for a scam, Jonny?"

Jonny: "Wow! A scam? I don't know...How about this! Jonny and Plank's Penny Dance! A one, and a two–-" [Begins to dance and sing] "Pennies, pennies, I seek a penny, give me your pennies, I like the pennies..."

Edd: "Um, Eddy, a tad eccentric, don't you think?"

Jonny: "...pennies, pennies, I seek a penny, who's got a penny–-" [Eddy kicks him into the sky.] "--Whoo-ee that smarts!"

Postcards from the Ed

Eddy: Hey monobrow, give me a push will you?

Ed: Can do, Eddy! But I cannot join you in your merriment for I am responsible [pushes bus] for Plank's mommy and daddy. [Realizes that Plank's parents are on Eddy's bus] Hey, hold it one darn second there!

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Eddy: This is all your fault. They're all just hunks of wood, for Pete's sake!

Edd: I wouldn't say that too loudly, Eddy. I think they're watching us!

Ed: Make them go away, Double D! Make them go away!

Eddy: Man, this is stupid.

Take This Ed and Shove It

Old Eddy: [to Edd] What happened to us, Double D? We look like turkeys! [pulls at the loose skin on Edd's chin. The skin drops down and hangs limply]

Old Eddward: Calm down, Eddy. I'll let you shuffle. [holds out a deck of cards]

Old Eddy: I hate cribbage! [swats the deck away and falls over] I'm just a kid!

Old Double Dee: [laughing] Kid!? Oh, Eddy. We haven't been kids in over 90 years.

Old Eddy: 90 years?

Old Ed: [falling over] Baby go wee-wee! [he and Edd laugh]

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Eddy: What lame-brained schmuck would throw away a perfectly good tricycle?