The Hangover

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The Hangover is a 2009 comedy film about four friends who travel to Las Vegas for a bachelor party, only to wake up the next morning not remembering a thing.

Directed by Todd Phillips.  Written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore.
Some guys just can't handle Vegas.  (taglines)


Phil:  Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy:  Phil, where the hell are you guys?  I'm freaking out.
Phil:  Yeah, listen.  Uh…we fucked up.
Tracy:  What are you talking about?
Phil:  The bachelor party—  The whole night—  Things got outta control, and, uh…we lost Doug.
Tracy:  What?
Phil:  We can't find Doug.
Tracy:  What are you saying, Phil?  We're getting married in five hours!
Phil:  Yeah.  That's not gonna happen.

Sid:  Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Doug:  Ah!
Sid:  Except for herpes.  That shit'll come back with ya.

Alan:  I want you to know, Doug, I'm a steel trap.  Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever speak a word of it.
Doug:  Okay.  I got it.  Thank you.  I don't think that…
Alan:  Seriously.  I don't care what happens.  I don't care if we kill someone.
Doug:  What?
Alan:  You heard me.  It's Sin City.  I won't tell a soul.
Doug:  Okay.  I got it.  Thank you.
Alan:  No, thank you.  [the two future in-laws embrace]  I love you so much.

Doug:  All good with Melissa?
Stu:  Oh, yeah.  Told her we're two hours outside of wine country, and she bought it.
Phil:  Don't you think it's strange that you've been in a relationship for three years, and you still have to lie about going to Vegas?
Stu:  Yeah, I do.  But trust me, it's not worth the fight.
Phil:  Oh, so you can't go to Vegas, but she can fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?
Stu:  Okay.  First of all, he was a bartender.  And she was wasted.  And, if you must know, he didn't even come inside her.
Phil:  And you believe that?
Stu:  Uh, yeah, I do believe that, because she's grossed out by semen.

Alan:  I like to say somethin' that I prepared tonight.
Stu:  All right, Alan.
Alan:  [extracts a sheet of paper; presents his speech]  Hello.  How 'bout that ride in?  I guess that's why they call it Sin City.  You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner.  I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.  But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own.  And my wolf pack, it grew by one.  So, there were two of us in the wolf pack.  I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later.  And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?"  And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack.  Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine.  So tonight, I make a toast!  [pulls out a pocket knife]
Stu:  What?!
Doug:  Whattaya got there?
[Alan tries to cut his palm, to the others' shock]
Phil:  What the fuck?!
Doug:  What are you doin'?!
[Alan groans in pain]
Stu:  What is that?!
Alan:  Blood brothers.

Phil:  [sees Alan with his new satchel]  You're not really wearin' that, are you?
Alan:  Wearin' what?
Phil:  The man purse.  You actually gonna wear that, or you guys just fuckin' with me?
Alan:  It's where I keep all my things.  Get a lot of compliments on this.  Plus it's not a man purse.  It's called a satchel.  Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil:  So does Joy Behar.

Alan:  Guys.  Guys.  What about the tiger?  What if he got out?
Phil:  Oh, fuck!  I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger!  How the fuck did he get in there?
Stu:  I don't know, because I don't remember.
Phil:  Shh!  Stu!  Stu, keep it down.
Alan:  One of the side-effects of roofies is memory loss.
Stu:  You are literally too stupid to insult.

Phil:  All right.  We got the money.  Eighty grand.  Cash.
Chow:  Throw it over!  Then I give you Doug.
Stu:  I'm sorry.  First of all, good morning.  We didn't catch your name last night.
Chow:  Mr. Chow.  Leslie Chow.
Stu:  Mr. Chow, it is a pleasure.  My name is Stu.  And we would very much appreciate an opportunity to see Doug before we give you the money, to verify that he's okay, if that's…that's cool.
Chow:  Of course, Stu.  That is cool.  [claps hands, and a man with a bag on his head is brought out of the car]
Stu:  [relieved]  Oh!  Okay.
Chow:  See?  He fine.  Now, gimme money, or I shoot him, and I shoot all you motherfuckers!  And then we take it!  Your choice, bitches!

Melissa:  I called that bed and breakfast in Napa.  They said they had no record of you even checking in.
Stu:  That's 'cause we didn't go to Napa.
Melissa:  Stu, what the fuck is going on?
Stu:  We went to Las Vegas.
Melissa:  Oh, really?  Las Vegas?  Why would you go Las Vegas?
Stu:  'Cause my best friend was getting married, and that's what guys do.
Melissa:  Uh-huh?
Stu:  Yeah.
Melissa:  That's not what you do.
Stu:  Really?  Well, then, why did I do it?!  Huh?!  'Cause I did it!  Riddle me that!  Why'd I do it?!  You know, sometimes I think all you want me to do is what you want me to do.  Well, I'm sick of doing what you want me to do all the time.  I think, in a healthy relationship, sometimes a guy should be able to do what he wants to do.
Melissa:  That is not how this works!
Stu:  Oh, good!  Because whatever this is ain't workin' for me!
Melissa:  Oh, really?
Stu:  Yeah!
Melissa:  Since when?!
Stu:  Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June!  BOOM!!!
Alan:  You told me it was a bartender.
Stu:  Oh.  You're right.  I stand corrected.  It was a bartender.  You fucked a bartender.
Melissa:  You're an idiot.
Stu:  You're a—  You… [struggles]  You're…such a bad person!  Like, all the way through to your core!


  • Some guys just can't handle Vegas
  • Whose baby is this?
  • Am I missing a tooth?
  • I stole a police car?!
  • What happened last night?
  • Where the hell is my tiger?
  • Have you seen this man?
  • Easy, tiger!
  • You mess with the wrong guy.
  • Well, technically, I'm an escort.


External links[edit]

Encyclopedic article on The Hangover at Wikipedia

The hangover.svg
  The Hangover  (2009) · The Hangover Part II  (2011) · The Hangover Part III  (2013)