Hell's Kitchen (uncensored)/Season 8

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Hell's Kitchen is an American cooking reality show based on the British program of the same title, where Chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

Episode One [8.01][edit]

[During the signature dish tasting]
Gordon: What is it?
Antonia: It's a Mardi Gras gumbo. [lifts the lid]
Gordon: Oh, God! And does it normally look like a plate of liquid shit?
Antonia: No. (interview) Every time I make my gumbo it always gets eaten, and everybody loves it. It's going to be good.
[Gordon samples the dish]
Gordon: [burp] Excuse me. [he coughs it up into the trash can] Fucking hell!
Antonia: [rolls eyes] Oh, God.
Gordon: Are you crazy? Have you tasted that?
Antonia: No, I didn't get a chance to taste it, chef.
[Gordon retches briefly over the bin before continuing]
Gordon: So you cooked it, and you didn't even taste it?
Antonia: I didn't have enough time. I'm so sorry you don't like it.
Gordon: Don't like it?!
Antonia: I'm sorry it wasn't up to par.
Gordon: Up to par?! It's inedible!
Antonia: [shrugs] Okay, then throw it out!
Gordon: No! I'm not going to throw it out! [to Raj] Big man!
Raj: Yes, sir!
Gordon: You like your food, take a mouthful. Pass it along.
[Raj samples the dish and passes it along to Rob, who also tastes it]
Rob: (interview) It was completely repulsive. I would rather have had a cat shit in my mouth than have eaten that any further!
[Vinny, Boris, and Nona taste the dish, and also look disgusted]
Gordon: [reacting as if he got heartburn] Oh, shit!
Nona: (interview) Oh, my God. I don't even know how to explain that!
Gordon: Vinny! What does that taste to you of?
Vinny: A big bowl of mud.
[Sabrina brings the bowl back over to Ramsay, who throws it into the trash can]
Gordon: Dear, oh dear!

[Raj and Sabrina Brimhall are about to present their signature dishes]
Gordon: [to Raj] Nice suspenders. [they are both wearing suspenders]
Raj: Oh thank you. Sir, yes sir, Chef.
Gordon: Right. [to Sabrina] What's under there?
Sabrina: Under there... Do you want me to take it off?
Gordon: Ugh, fuck me. It would help.
Sabrina: This is a pancetta fish with grilled endive and blood orange fennel salad with a brown butter vinaigrette.
Gordon: That sounds like a very sophisticated dish.
Sabrina: Okay.
Gordon: Which book did you copy out of?
Sabrina: I didn't copy out of a book, chef.
Gordon: No?
Sabrina: (interview) Okay, I'm gonna be honest. I don't really even read that often!
Gordon: The balance of the dish... is beautiful. And you've done something slightly unique because the fish is cooked perfectly.
Sabrina: Thanks, chef.

Gordon: Big boy, first name is...
Raj: Raj. (interview) I am an executive chef and I began cooking when I was 14 years old.
Gordon: Show me your dish.
Raj: (interview) I was always the best cook in the kitchen, so I can't see why this would be any different. [to Gordon] This is a seafood and vegetable pancake.
Gordon: My God! It's a what?
Raj: A seafood and vegetable pancake.
Gordon: Pancake?!
Raj: Yeah a pancake.
Gordon: What?! That is a pancake?
Raj: It's uh–Yeah.
Gordon: Does that look like a pancake?!
Raj: Mm-hmm.
Gordon: [tilts the plate allowing the grease from the pancake to drip down] It's going for a piss. A pancake that pisses. [tastes] It's a shame because the seafood actually tastes quite nice inside.
Raj: Oh, thank you.
Gordon: However, it looks a mess. Presentation's shocking.

[12:09AM; shot of red team members heading to bed]
Narrator: After hours of tedious cleaning, the women are ready to crash for the night. Meanwhile, the oldest chef, Raj... [Raj yells an Asian-sounding battle cry, causing Russell to glance at him] ...is ready to put on a show.
[Raj does tai-chi whilst stereotypical Asian music plays]
Russell: Oh, my God.
[Raj does some karate moves]
Rob: Holy shit, we gotta Mr. Miyagi! [Trev laughs]
[Shot of Raj downing a glass of champagne]
Raj: (interview) I start drinking, and I start doing karate... It's a bad habit.
[Raj screams and does a karate kick]
Curtis: (interview) Just kick it down a notch and let's put that energy towards your food!
[Raj does a karate kick and punch in Rob's direction, then does a spin. Vinny laughs]
Rob: Y'know, I'm gonna get out of the way.
Curtis: (interview) I thought he was about to have a damn heart attack!
[Raj does some more karate moves and raises his hands with a circular gap between them; a moon appears from the gap and transitions to the night sky]

[Gordon returns a salad to the workstation]
Gordon: All of you. ALL OF YOU, GET HERE!! Who dressed that?!
Trev: I did. [Gordon raises an overdressed piece of lettuce] Too much.
Gordon: "Too much?!" Did you honestly think they came here for that?!
Trev: No.
Gordon: We got worse now. We can't even dress a fucking salad! [throws the salad away] SALAD, TREV! LET'S GO!!
Trev: (interview) Who doesn't know how to make a salad? [points to himself] This guy!
Narrator: Thanks to Trev, no appetizers have left the blue kitchen.
Donald Schultz: We've had a long wait. Very bright.
James Lukanik: Apologies.
Narrator: The red team however, have served half of their customers' appetizers. But some of them have not received their welcoming pizza.
Gordon: [with a pizza] Melissa.
Melissa: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Touch that. Touch that. What is that?
Melissa: It's raw, chef.
Gordon: It's what?
Melissa: It's raw, chef.
Gordon: Touch that! It's raw, Melissa!
Melissa: Yes, chef.
Gordon: It's raw! Come on!
Melissa: Yes, chef.
Boris: [mocking Gordon] "It's rawww!!" "It's fucking rawww!!"
Louis: (interview) Boris, what were you thinking, buddy? You don't mock Gordon Ramsay.
Gordon: Boris.
Boris: Yes, sir?
Gordon: Come here.
Boris: Yes, sir.
Gordon: So I'm telling her about a raw pizza and you mimic me out in the back.
Boris: I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, so I'm telling her the pizza's raw, come here, you. Fuck-face!
Boris: (interview, facepalms) Oh, no!
Gordon: And there you go, you touch it, then. Now look at me! Take the piss out of me now, fuck-face! What's your fucking crack?
Boris: I don't have any crack, chef.
Gordon: Yeah. What's your game?!
Boris: I'm just here to cook, sir.
Gordon: Now look at me! You're fucking take the piss out of me one more time in the middle of fucking service, yeah, kiss your fucking arse goodbye. Is that clear?
Boris: Understood, chef.
Gordon: WAKE UP!!
Boris: It will not happen again. (interview) I shouldn't have done that and I meant no disrespect. What can I say? I'm losing my mind.
Gordon: [to Boris] Just concentrate. Look at me, look at me. Just fucking concentrate.
Boris: Will do, chef. Yes, sir.

Narrator: While Lisa's work on the fish station has left her teammates seriously underwhelmed...
Gordon: Trev!
Trev: Yes, chef?
Narrator: ...Trev's salad is once again seriously overdressed.
Gordon: [wipes off a large amount of dressing off a lettuce leaf] Oh, my God!
Trev: Probably too much, chef.
Gordon: That's just on one fucking leaf, come on!
Trev: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Dress me a fucking SALAD!! [angrily throws the salad on the floor; the plate shatters] Hey, fuck you all!
Louis: (interview) I almost wrapped my hands around his narrow neck. Salad! Salad! [shot of Trev remaking the salad] Get the salad out! Nothing's easier.
Trev: [brings up his salad] Here's that salad you're waiting on.
Gordon: Thank you.
Trev: You're very welcome.
Gordon: Service, please. BLUE TEAM!
Blue Team: Yes, chef?
Gordon: One hour and thirty minutes into service, that's the first table of appetizers gone!
Blue Team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Ohhh, fucking hell!
Narrator: The men have finally sent out their first appetizers.
Customer 1: I like it.
Customer 2: It's good.
Narrator: But in the red kitchen, Sabrina is ready with her team's first entrees.
Sabrina: Okay, I'm coming up!
Narrator: Unfortunately, there's a slight problem.
Gail: Sabrina, hold up on that. We need the salmon and the tagliatelle first before anything else.
Sabrina: Dude, I can't wait! Come on man!
Gail: Sabrina, don't get mad at me; we're going in the order of the tickets.
Sabrina: What? (interview) I just spent like 20 minutes cooking all this, letting it rest, doing it right, you know and it's like honestly, I want to show him that. [brings her meat to the pass] Here's the two beef and a lamb.
Nona: What is she doing?
Gordon: Two beef and a lamb, where's the halibut?
Sabrina: Oh, I just wanted to bring this to you, chef.
Gordon: You just what?
Sabrina: I wanted to bring this to you, chef.
Gordon: What?!
Nona: (interview; in a high pitch voice) Wha—a—Is this bitch crazy?!
Gordon: And where's the halibut, then? And where's the garnish? [to Gail] Are you ready?
Gail: No, chef. (interview) I told her not to bring the beef up because everything has come up at the pass together so that we can send the whole entire table together at the same time.
Gordon: Why are you throwing them under the bus?
Sabrina: I'm not, chef.
Gordon: So what the fuck is this doing here?!
Sabrina: I'm sorry, chef. I cooked it for you, chef. I don't know—
Gordon: What can I do with it?
Sabrina: Nothing, chef.
Gordon: Oh, fuck off. Hey, Baby Spice. As long as you're okay, right?
Sabrina: No, chef.
Gordon: "Here's my food, fuck everybody else!" She doesn't fucking care.
Narrator: While Sabrina needs to get back in sync with her team, in the blue kitchen, Chef Ramsay needs...
[Raj is standing at the pass writing orders to the kitchen]
Gordon: Raj! Help them, or fuck off!!
Raj: [enters the Blue kitchen] (interview) It was fairly abusive on his part, but I'm a little bit worried about Chef Ramsay's, you know, karma.
Gordon: Russell.
Russell: Yes, sir.
Gordon: Get off of there and let these two work as a team.
Russell: (interview) Boris and Raj are working together. It's like watching two idiots do a Rubik's Cube. There's no chance on Earth they're going to get it right.
Boris: Mozzarella cheese, I got the cheese. [to Raj] All I'm asking you is to please help me the roll the fucking dough.
Raj: Where the fuck is it?
Boris: It's here. First, shape it. Here. Put it here, put it down, shape it.
Raj: The dough's there, you can't roll it.
Boris: Roll the fucking pizza dough!
Raj: Here's more mozzarella. [starts slicing the mozzarella]
Boris: [to Raj] ROLL THE FUCKING PIZZA DOUGH! What are you doing?! Are you fucking... RGGH! (interview) My partner was sent here to sabotage. That guy is fucking nuts.
Gordon: Why aren't you two working as a team?!
Boris: We're doing the best we can, chef.
Gordon: We're screwed on a fucking pizza.
Narrator: Raj and Boris's inability to make pizza has slowed down the blue team. But over in the red kitchen...
Lisa: [brings her halibut to the pass] Halibut coming here.
Narrator: ...Lisa has picked up the pace and is ready with her halibut.
Gordon: Halibut down here please. [checks the halibut] Lisa!
Lisa: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Come here! [returns the halibut to the workstation] It's sushi!
Lisa: I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: Hey, madam. What's happening here?!
Lisa: (interview) It was a mess. I fucked up big time and I'm really disappointed at myself.

[The customers have begun leaving. James returns to the pass]
James: Chef, I got tables walking out. They've been here two hours chef.
Gordon: Fucking hell. Hey, ladies, come here. Hey, all of you, come here! LADIES! Move your fucking arse! BORIS!
Boris: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Look out there! Are you kidding me? Tables are leaving. No-one's even working together. No-one's even caring. You're (Sabrina) bringing me the main courses, bypassing your team. You (Boris) laughed at me earlier, pissing around with your fucking pizzas. And you (Raj) just switched off! Where do we go? Where the fuck do we go? Any bright ideas? No-one's even working together. No-one's even caring! Fuck off, is that clear?
Chefs: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Everything off. Clear down.

Gordon: Raj. Why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Raj: Now that I'm more familiar with everything, I'll be able to jump in there and really cook the food correctly.
Gordon: Aren't you the most experienced chef in here?
Raj: Yes.
Gordon: You've been cooking longer than me!
Raj: Yes.
Gordon: Shit!

[During the elimination process]
Gordon: Sabrina, you are quite frankly the most selfish cook in here.
Sabrina: Believe it or not, you don't know me and you don't know what I'm capable of, chef. I made a mistake, I fucked up. Give me an opportunity to prove to you that I can do better, chef. And honestly if it's between us two... I mean... I'm... she's spent, chef... you know...I'm young. The world is my oyster, just give me–
Lisa: What was that? I'm spent? Spent?
Sabrina: Spent. Yeah, you're finished.
Lisa: Are you kidding me?
Sabrina: No, I'm serious.
Lisa: I will cook circles around you, honey. I may be 48, but believe me, you don't have a chance.
Gordon: Sabrina, who do you think who should go home?
Sabrina: I think that Nona should go home, chef. Her idea of fine dining is fried chicken, chef. She can't cook asparagus. She snores, and it keeps us all awake, and I honestly believe she's good for nothing, chef.
Gail: [whispering] That was low.
Gordon: She's crap she can't cook asparagus, but she's not standing in your shoes there. Quite frankly all four of you (Lisa, Sabrina, Raj and Trev) should go. My decision is... Sabrina.
Sabrina: Please give me another chance, chef.
Gordon: Shut it. Back in line!
Sabrina: [smiles] Thank you, chef.

Gordon: The only thing positive I can say about Lisa's performance tonight: She didn't kill anyone.

Episode Two [8.02][edit]

[The chefs meet in front of Chef Ramsay]
Gordon: Good morning.
Chefs: Good morning, chef.
Gordon: Last night's service was memorable, [red team members turn to Raj, who was breathing loud] for all the wrong reasons. [Gordon hears the breathing as well] Who's breathing? What is that? [Russell points to Raj] Are you okay?
Sabrina: (interview) Raj was breathing a little bit creepy like, [imitates Raj's breathing; as does Jillian]
Vinny: (interview; imitates Raj's breathing) And it sounded like a big jerk!
Gordon: Slow down!
Raj: Yes, chef.

[Raj and Russell present their sushi platter]
Gordon: Who did the nigiri tuna?
Raj: Me, chef! Raj, chef.
Gordon: Well, now I know it's Raj. [examines sushi piece Russell made] Nice. First tuna, in. [peels back the piece Raj made to show...] No wasabi. Out.
Boris: (interview) It's perfect, but...
Gordon: Wasabi, yes or no.
Raj: Yes.
Gordon: [drum roll; notices no wasabi on Raj's sushi] No!
Boris: (interview) ...you left out the wasabi! JACKASS!

Gordon: On order, four covers away, Table 23, yes? Two risotto, two scallops, entrée one chicken, three rib-eye.
Blue Team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: [sees Raj turning back without answering] You, come here. You're standing here next to me, I called it out, and you just turned your fat arse around! You didn't even acknowledge me!
Raj: I'm-I'm here. Yes, chef. What do you need? I'm here.
Gordon: "What do I need?!" What did I just call out? [Raj doesn't answer] WHAT DID I JUST CALL OUT, RAJ?! I'M TALKING TO YOU!
Louis: (interview) The fact that Raj is 49 and still alive and not in jail or an asylum is a goddamn miracle.
Gordon: What did I just call out?
Raj: I didn't-I didn't catch it.
Gordon: Oh, fuck me. Useless.
Narrator: Just over half an hour in the dinner service, Raj hasn't even begun cooking but has already disappointed Chef Ramsay.

Gordon: One sushi, one chowder!
Blue Team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Let's go!
Curtis: Coming to the pass with sushi.
Narrator: With the blue team already lagging behind because of Vinny, Curtis is trying to get his kitchen back on track.
Gordon: Curtis! [returns some sushi to the workstation]
Curtis: Working on it again ,chef.
Gordon: Yeah, fuck off. Gentlemen, gentlemen, GENTLEMEN! Look at this! [points to some sushi] Fat fuck, fat fuck, fat fuck, look at that there. Look at that. Look. Look at— [to Curtis] come here, you! It's not good enough for me. It's not good enough for me!
Curtis: Yes, chef. Working now, chef.
Trev: (interview) Sushi's coming back. Seriously, you're not cooking anything.
Gordon: [also notices the plate is dirty] Do you think that I'm going to fucking send–you can't even clean the fucking–fuck off, Curtis! Fuck right off!

Narrator: It's 90 minutes into dinner service, and food has been ridiculously slow leaving the blue kitchen...
Vinny: [walking up the stairs to take a table's order] Hello guys.
Narrator: ...but Vinny has a plan to speed things up.
Vinny: [to the diners] I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you: you guys order sides, you're gonna be here till next Tuesday. (interview) I have zero confidence that Raj is getting out garnishes and sides.
Male Customer: No sides.
Female Customer: Yeah. [Vinny smiles and gives a thumbs-up]
Vinny: (interview) So I came up with a bit of a clever idea.
James: [to the same diners that Vinny just waited on] How's the service this evening?
Female Customer: We can't order sides...
James: Why are you not allowed to order sides?
Female Customer: Because I guess we can get our food quicker if we don't order sides?
James: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, let me go speak to the chef about this.
Gordon: [to Scott] Yeah, just check that. There's no sides on there, and I don't know why.
James: [leading Vinny to the pass] Oh, come over here! Chef!
Gordon: [to James] Yes?
James: One of his tables, he's telling them they can't have side orders because it takes too long to get it out of the kitchen.
Vinny: What I said was, I'd be happy to bring them to you...
Gordon: SHUT UP!
James: Yeah, he said they could not have side orders because it would take too long.
Gordon: Come in here!
Vinny: That is not what I told them.
Gordon: Why?
Vinny: That is not what I told them!
Gordon: What did you tell them?!
Vinny: Exactly what I told them was this: I said, "I'm telling you the truth. The sides are delicious, but it's going to take a lot longer if you want sides, so..."
Gordon: STOP, EVERYBODY! Now Captain Vinny here is telling the customers not to order sides! [to Raj] Come here. Did you tell him not to order sides?
Raj: Of course not! Why would I say that?!
Gordon: Don't fucking shout at me, fuck-face! You told him that? "Don't push the sides, so I look good."
Raj: No, I'm ready with the sides! Look, I got all the sides ready, I'm waiting for them.
Gordon: So why's he not taking the orders?
Raj: I have no idea, but look at these sides, it's all ready! He's–he's–I'm–he's–okay...
Vinny: Do you want to know the truth?
Gordon: Yeah, I do want to know the truth!
Vinny: The truth is, I have no faith that he's going to be able to get the sides out.
Gordon: You'd better understand one fucking thing: You do NOT decide what goes out this kitchen!
Vinny: [mumbles] I do not.
Gordon: GET OUT!
Vinny: Yes, chef.
Gordon: GET OUT, YOU!

[Boris took over scallops from Trev but served them raw]
Narrator: Thanks to Boris, appetizers are still not leaving the blue kitchen.
Gordon: Nearly two hours into service: two risotto, two spaghetti, one fucking salad!
Narrator: Meanwhile, the red kitchen has overcome their mistakes and served half their entrees...
Jillian: How does it taste?
Customer: It tastes delicious.
Jillian: Awesome.
Melissa: [to Emily whilst bringing some garnishes to the pass] Beef coming?
Emily: Beef is coming, chicken is coming.
Narrator: ...and Melissa on garnish is looking to keep things running smoothly.
Emily: Beef and sauce, chef.
Gordon: [goes to the garnish station and tilts the pot to let the potatoes drip out] Runny mash.
Melissa: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Hey hold on, hold on. It gets better: one that's stone-cold, the second one we don't even need them.
Melissa: There's a wellington up, chef.
Gordon: [gets a ticket] Come here you. [reads the ticket] One salmon, one halibut, one chicken, one beef. Where's the wellington?
Melissa: Wellington's coming up—
Gordon: Where's the wellington?
Melissa: It's not on the window chef.
Gordon: It's for the next table.
Melissa: Yes, chef. (interview) I just put up the wrong thing. I can't explain it. It's fucking embarrassing.
Gordon: You are about to sink your team. Now.
Melissa: Focus chef.
Gordon: No, don't focus. Swap places with Jillian. Now, fuck off!
Melissa: Yes, chef. [to the red team] Guys, I have to go out to the dining room. If you need—
Gordon: Get out! Get out! Fuck the explanation! GET OUT!
[Melissa goes out to the dining room and looks for Jillian]
Melissa: Jill? (interview) I look like a bumbling fucking idiot
Jillian: I have table 71 upstairs-
Melissa: I need your coat. You gotta take my coat. (interview; crying) I am so frustrated and pissed off at myself because I know I am good.
[Jillian goes into the kitchen while Melissa is now the assistant maitre d']
Jillian: What are you guys doing? What's going on?
Narrator: With Jillian quickly solving the issues on the garnish station...
Emily: Jillian, how's the garnish for my wellies?
Jillian: I got your mashed potatoes and I got your carrots.
Gordon: [serving some entrees] Go, please.
Narrator: ...the red kitchen is back in a groove.
Gordon: Service, please.
Jillian: [to herself] C'mon ladies, c'mon ladies.
Narrator: Meanwhile, what put the blue team in trouble at the start of service...
Gordon: Scott, what's going on on sushi? [referring to Curtis] He's not even cooking anything and you're in a mess!
Narrator: ...continues to plague them almost two hours later.
Gordon: Sushi! Can you believe we're dragging the sushi?
Rob: (interview) Curtis put the kitchen off to a really bad start.
Curtis: [to himself while making sushi] Dammit, I'm fuckin' trying.
Rob: (interview) You know I could slide over and help but uh, that's not my problem. Let him sink.
Gordon: [returns to the workstation] I've got the sushi now with no wasabi! [to Curtis] You, fuck off out of here!
Curtis: (interview; sulkily) Don't tell me to fuck off. Man, fuck that!
Gordon: I've had enough! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
Curtis: (interview) I tried my best at least, unlike some motherfuckers, at least I fucking tried! [to himself while walking back to the dorms] I put fucking wasabi on there, I swear to fucking God. (interview) Gimme a break! [takes off his hat] Dammit! [in the dorms with a cigarette] RGGHHH!
Narrator: As the number of blue team members in the dorm is multiplying...
Gordon: Look at the fucking garnish.
Narrator:...so are Raj's pans of garnish.
Gordon: Come here. The big fucking sack of piss and wind. You're stacking up your garnishes, and it's getting longer, and longer, and longer, and longer. In about five minutes time, you'll have all those fucking garnishes right outside the kitchen!
Raj: No, no. That's all I need.
Gordon: Shut up! Get out!
Raj: (interview) I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't know how to... I don't know. I don't know how to handle the situation, I mean...
Gordon: GET OUT! NOW!!
Raj: (interview) I don't even know what the hell's going on or what happened or why! [returns to the dorm and puts his head inside the freezer]
Narrator: [shots of Raj with his head in the freezer and Curtis and Vinny in another part of the dorms] With three chefs from the blue team cooling off in the dorm...
Curtis: RGHHH!!!
Louis: [brings up two Caesar salads] Two salads coming right now.
Narrator: ...the remaining team members are eager to show Chef Ramsay what they're capable of.
[Gordon returns to the workstation with the salads]
Gordon: Come here, all of you!
Louis: Fuck!
Gordon: [removes lettuce leaves to show that one salad has a lot more walnuts in it] There's the walnuts on one, there's the walnuts on the other! FUCK!!! [to the blue team] Hey, you, you, you! Hey, you! Come here! Hey, you! Come here! [leads the remaining blue team members to the washroom and kicks the door straight out to the dorms] Get out! GET OUT!!!
Louis: (interview) Not only did he throw us all out of the kitchen. He led us out of the kitchen. [screenshot of Louis and the remaining blue team members walking back to the dorms] It makes you feel like you're [shows a tiny gap between his fingers] this big.
Rob: Almost had a fucking table!
Louis: The girls were calling out entrées for the last two hours. I didn't come here to look like an asshole two nights in a row, okay? And we're going to do it again tomorrow if we don't—
Raj: Okay, fellas, yeah. Please, please, please, kids...
Louis: HOW DARE YOU CONDESCEND TO ME! I'm 28 years old! I've been a professional in this industry for 14 years! I work in a camp and I work my fucking ass off! You're 50! How dare you fucking condescend to me, YOU STUPID FUCK!
Boris: [to Raj] Shut the fuck up.
Raj: Listen, listen!
Louis: How dare you condescend to me!
Boris: [to Raj] Shut the fuck up!
Raj: Hey, listen!
Vinny: BRO, YOU'RE 50 YEARS OLD AND YOU COULDN'T PICK PARSLEY!
Boris: [throwing a box at Raj] You're a fucking douchebag!
Vinny: [to Boris] NO, BRO!
Raj: You're attacking me, motherfucker!
Boris: Fuck you, man.
Raj: Fuck you!
Boris: Raj! You're a waste of life.
Raj: [flips Boris off] FUCK YOU, BITCH!
Boris: You're a fucking waste of life, Raj.
Raj: Oh, fuck you. (interview) They just blame me because I'm an easy target for them. You know, here I am. I'm in that snake pit, and I'm the mongoose, and the mongoose is trying to fight the cobra. [to his teammates] Listen! If you guys wanna get out of this, you listen to me, okay?
Vinny: Okay, yeah. Tell us how- show us what we gotta do to do a better job.

Gordon: [irate with the blue team] Men, you lost! Vinny decided that it was a bright idea to tell the customers, "Don't order sides, because the kitchen can't deliver!" How dare you?! That's MY decision, and not yours! None of you are here to kiss my arse, but I EXPECT SOME FUCKING RESPECT!!

[The blue team lost the night's service; they nominated Raj and Boris for elimination, but Chef Ramsay also nominated Vinny]
Gordon: Boris, Raj. Step forward. Unbelievable! [pause] Wait a second. Somebody else needs to be up here. [pause] Vinny, step forward! [Vinny stands in between Boris and Raj] I am PISSED! You have no right to recommend to the guests not to have a side with an entrée!
Vinny: After my first table waited nearly two hours for their appetizers, I just wanted them to have an opportunity to experience some of your food. That's what they came here for.
Gordon: Entrées on that menu are designed to go with sides! Is that clear?!
Vinny: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Raj, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Raj: I should stay in Hell's Kitchen, chef, because I am being falsely accused, and I'm getting more familiar with everything, and it's going to be good. It's just I need a little more time. I'm a slow learner.
Gordon You're forty-fucking-nine! I need a fast learner!
Raj: Yes, chef.

[After Curtis was eliminated for his terrible performance on sushi]
Gordon: Get a good night's sleep, because seven of you need to fight back. Quickly!
Blue Team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Now FUCK OFF!
Gail: (interview) The blue team should get used to getting their asses kicked. They're like little dominoes and the red team is gonna knock each one of them out. [laughs]
Boris: (interview) I'm there scrambling trying to save my fucking guys' asses and they threw me under not only the bus. They threw me under the train, the plane, the helicopter, and the... fucking buggy.
Raj: (interview) I know that the guys in my team are shitting in their pants knowing that Raj is going to destroy them. [gets up and points to the camera] I'M HERE TO STAY, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, 'CAUSE I AM THE BEST! [falls off his interview chair] WHAAAOW! [climbs back up to the chair] HAAA!
Gordon: [to himself, after everyone has returned to the dorms] God! (voiceover) Curtis might have been a good old boy, but unfortunately, he wasn't good at cooking.

Episode Three [8.03][edit]

Rob: [to Trev about Curtis' elimination after both teams are dismissed] I didn't fucking see that happening, man. Wow. (interview) It was really surprising, Curtis getting eliminated. It was definitely a shocking turn of events. [to Raj after Raj stops to stare into a boiling pot of water] Keep moving, Raj. (interview) I'm more shocked that that lunatic is still here.
Raj: (interview) YAHOOO! WOOAOOAOAAAAOOAH! WHOO! ALL RIGHT!! Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Jesus! Whoo! I'm feeling great! Now I am definitely going to win this competition now. I know it! [to Louis and Vinny] Reel in the karma, baby! Can't get off, these hands are tied!
Vinny: Raj. Raj, please, please.
Raj: You have malice! You know what I mean? Malice. I don't have evil designs. I don't lie! I tell the truth!
Vinny: I didn't lie either.
Raj: For you to tell the dining room customer not to order food because I'm working it. I mean, that is sick!
Vinny: (interview) I did not tell those people, "Do not order sides." I highly recommended it! [to Raj] I want to win a restaurant.
Raj: Guess what?
Vinny: What?
Raj: You ain't!
Vinny: What?
Raj: You ain't!
[Jillian, Sabrina, and Russell gather in another area of the dorms]
Jillian: [to Russell] You guys have some shitty-ass people on your team, dude. We have a strong-ass team. Except for Emily, that bitch needs to go, dude. (interview) I believe that the main disaster was Emily, I mean everyone else was pulling their weight all night long. I don't wanna her dragging down the kitchen because we're all trying really hard. I think she needs to go back and work in that nursing home that she came from. [to Sabrina and Russell] I'm not here to make fucking friends.
Narrator: While there's real animosity developing within the teams, there's one chef...
Raj: WHAAAAOW!!!
Narrator: ...who's not letting all this negativity dampen his spirits.
[It is 2:18 AM and Raj is still celebrating his survival of elimination]
Raj: WOO!!! I'M WINNING THIS MOTHERFUCKING THING!!! [the other chefs attempt to shush him]
Trev: Deep breaths, deep breaths.
Raj: (interview) I know that the guys on my team have absolutely no chance, so they're doing anything they can to get rid of me. [to the chefs] Lie, don't die!
Vinny: The guy is here to be an anchor to us. We're gonna have to learn to work with him.
Trev: Somebody's gotta get him in line and you guys aren't getting through at all, he seems to listen to me.
Boris: Raj listens to you?
Trev: Yeah I don't know, I'm one of the few guys who hasn't yelled or screamed at him. (interview) If I can just get Raj to focus, I will. [shot of Raj doing tai-chi in the bedroom] We need to learn to work with the tools that we're given, and he just happens to be one of those tools. [to Vinny, Rob, and Boris] You have to handle him with gloves though, his... [points to his temple]
Raj: [in the background] WHAAAAOW!!! [Vinny chuckles]
Rob: We gotta get this guy to work somehow.
Boris: You can't.

[During the breakfast cooking challenge]
Scott Leibfried: We haven't sent one table yet!
Gordon: Raj, where's the scrambled egg?
Raj: Okay. [brings his scrambled eggs to the pass]
Gordon: [tastes] Hey guys, guys. Come here. All of you, come here! Quick! Hurry up! [pushes Raj out of his way] Get out of the way. Get out of the way. Oooh, get out of the way. Taste it. Taste it. Taste it, taste it, taste it, taste it! Not an OUNCE of seasoning!
Raj: Whaddaya—?!
Louis: We're doing it again! Don't argue with chef!
Trev: (interview) Don't talk back to chef. He says something, you say, "Yes, chef" and move on. That's it.
Gordon: Say that again? Hey, say that again? Say–say–Don't spit fucking scrambled egg in my face! Say that again?! Say that again?!
Raj: Yes, chef.
Gordon: There's not an ounce of fucking seasoning in there. These guys save lives for a living, yeah, and you're about to fuck up their breakfast! Got it?
Raj: Yes, chef! (interview) Chef Ramsay's like "Oh, my God! THERE'S NO SALT! THERE'S NO PEPPER!" and I'm like "What the–?" [to his teammates] Go ahead, go ahead, go! Go! (interview) I thought I seasoned it, chef, correctly. But no. Obviously, I didn't.
Gordon: Why's he cooking scrambled egg when he can't even season it?
Raj: (interview) I tried to make some sense out of this intense chaos. [goes into the pantry and puts his head in the refrigerator] I got to cool off somehow. (interview) I tried to clear my head by sticking my head in the refrigerator... but I couldn't.
Gordon: RAJ, MOVE YOUR FAT FUCKING ARSE!! [to blue team] Somebody take control, please!!

[After losing the breakfast challenge, the blue team has to clean glasses as part of their punishment]
Trev: Don't be scared, Raj! Jump in!
Raj: I was.
Trev: Everybody's polishing. You're just kinda standing there. You're blowing it with me over here. The one guy who had your back, and you're blowing it!
Raj: Oh, please! (interview) Trevor, he's–he's really not a nice person, and... he's also being very mean!
Louis: [to Raj] What do you want us to do with you?
Raj: Just leave me alone! (interview) I'm a professional chef. I'm working with a bunch of kids! I'm in a situation where it's me versus them.
Trev: [inspects glass Raj just cleaned] Water marks. [chuckles] Water marks! Raj, seriously? I mean, can you not see that? Are you gonna look?
Russell: Just do his glasses over.
Trev: That's not fair!
Russell: Just do it over!
Raj: [to the guys] This is harassment now.
[Russell and Rob laugh hysterically at Raj]

[During the blue team's punishment; Trev has just found a stack of haphazardly covered loaves of bread]
Trev: Raj? Raj? Just give up halfway?
Raj: No, I just wanted to cover it.
Trev: Give me the fucking wrap! (interview) I've tried everything I can with this big, dumb animal and it's just–it's frustrating. It's tiring. [to Vinny] It's bullshit that he's even still here.
Raj: Hey, hey. Hey, hey, wait.
Vinny: You might have been cooking the longest. Obviously, you've cooked in shit restaurants for the last thirty years.
Raj: Unfair.
Trev: What's unfair about it?! You suck!
Vinny: And you tanked us.
Raj: You guys are going to keep going with it?
Trev: Yes! Until it gets through that thick skull of yours!
Raj: (interview) Trevor's harassing me for no reason, and he's being more of a problem than a solution. [to Trev and Vinny] You guys seem to be targeting me in a vicious fashion. You got something about me, because I'm older?
Trev: Go home, Raj! Just go home. Go home and stuff yourself with Twinkies so you have a fucking heart attack on your recliner!
Raj: Oh, so now you're going to make fun of my weight?
Trev: We got to figure out what you're good at. You got to be good at something, right? Aside from sleeping and fucking eating and running your goddamn jaw. You got to be good at something! Mr. "I'm a chef and I'm almost fifty. I got more experience than everybody." What the fuck have you done so far?! You're fucking dilly-dallying in the fucking pastry section, and the shit you've cooked doesn't even work–
Raj: Shut up! [snaps and gets in Trev's face] SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Trev: Or what?
Boris: Guys, guys, guys! Come on!
Raj: I said shut up!
Trev: Or what?!
Raj: Just shut up!
Trev: Or what?!
Raj: Fuck all you motherfuckers! YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF SNAKES! [to Trev] YOU FUCKIN' SNAKE! (interview) I'm being targeted, I'm being harassed, and I'm really at the point where I don't know what to do!
Boris: Raj, can I have a word with you?
Raj: I'm tired, dammit!
Boris: One minute? Listen to me. Listen to me. Raj, please! Raj! Raj! [takes Raj into the hallway] We need to listen and work together! (interview) I don't want to see anybody getting hurt. I don't want to see anyone throwing it off, because we need every man on our team. Including Raj.
[Russell comes into the hallway as Boris calms Raj down]
Boris: You gotta listen to me. You alright? (interview) But, that guy is fucking nuts!

[The chefs meet in front of Chef Ramsay]
Gordon: Raj, haven't given up on you. However, push it tonight.
Raj: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Come back.
Raj: Yes, chef.
Gordon: And stay out the fucking fridge.
[Flashback to where Raj sticks his head in the fridge during the team challenge]
Raj: Yes, chef.

[James returns to the pass with appetizers]
Gordon: What's wrong with that?
James: Red team, salty.
Gordon: Oh, dear. [returns to the workstation] Ladies.
Jillian: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Now it's coming back, salty! [tosses the plate on the workstation] Wow!

Narrator: While the blue team...
Gordon: Salmon!
Raj: The salmon's ready.
Narrator: ...has moved on to entrées.
Raj: And it's perfect! (interview) I have personally cooked thousands and thousands and thousands of pieces of salmon in my life.
[Raj brings his salmon to the pass, Gordon checks it; finds that it's floating in a brown liquid]
Gordon: What's that in there? Wh-what...?
Scott Leibfried: That's not grilled.
Gordon: Oh, dear. Raj! What's that? What is that stock he's putting in that salmon?
Vinny: It's supposed be grilled, dude.
Raj: Yeah, I grilled it, and then I finished it with a little bit of sauce.
[Gordon tastes some of the liquid in the pan, then spits it out in disgust]
Russell: No sauce, bro. [Gordon drains the contents of the pan onto Raj's worktop and drops the pan] C'mon, get another one going, bro!
Raj: (interview) My personal techniques are not working for Chef Ramsay.
Gordon: Disgusting!
Raj: (interview) He's the chef, it's his opinion, and I have zero opinion.
Scott Leibfried: Start over.
Narrator: Raj's cooking techniques aren't cutting in with Chef Ramsay. And in the red kitchen...
Gordon: [with an overcooked Dover Sole] Melissa, it's overcooked!
Narrator: ...neither are Melissa's.
Gordon: Out it comes, look at that. Overcooked on the bottom, crispy as fuck, and it looks like Gandhi's flip-flop! [drops the Dover Sole] What a shame!
Jillian: (interview) I don't know where he comes up with this stuff! Gandhi didn't even wear flip-flops, he lived in the jungle. I don't think the dude even had shoes.
Gordon: Look it underneath! [knocks his hand on the workstation]
Melissa: (interview) Shit!

Narrator: As Melissa starts over with her Dover sole, guests on both sides of the dining room continue to wait, but not for long. In the blue kitchen...
Gordon: Where's the salmon?!
Raj: T-two seconds.
Narrator: Raj is ready with his second attempt on the salmon.
Gordon: Two seconds! One, two!
Raj: I mean um, thirty sec-I mean, um, one minute.
Narrator: Well... almost ready.
Gordon: Just concentrate. I don't want a blah-blah-blah.
Raj: I'm sorry to say that, but it's true.
Gordon: What a fucking bozo!
Raj: Here it is. Here it is. [brings his salmon to the pass, Gordon checks it and finds that it's raw]
Gordon: Oh, dear. Raj! Come here, you. It's raw. [angrily smashes the raw salmon] It's fucking RAW!!!
Raj: Oh, okay.
Boris: (interview) COME ON, MAN!
Gordon: IT'S RAW!!!
Boris: (interview) The guy can't change his underwear the right way!
Gordon: We haven't even served the fucking entrée, but I need to get food out!
Boris: Oh, boy. Here we go.
Gordon: I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!
Raj: Chef, can I—would you mind if I said something, chef, or no?
Gordon: [plugs his ears] Not to me, you're not.
Boris: No, don't say a damn thing. Just finish your tickets!
Raj: You know the salmon I gave you that you smashed, right? (interview) I'm not this timid man who's just going to sit back and just say, "Okay, chef." You know, I'm going to try to make a case for myself. [to Gordon] Really, chef, really.
Gordon: We're in the middle of service right now and I want food! SHUT IT!!
Raj: (interview) But, um... it's-it's hard. [to his teammates] I got it now. Go ahead! Go, go!
Gordon: Hey, what do you think this is? A talk show?!
Raj: No, no.
Gordon: COOK YOUR FUCKING DISH, AND SHUT YOUR FAT MOUTH!!
Raj: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Vinny, get a piece of salmon on there, yes?
Vinny: Yes, chef. (interview) Raj just cannot cook at all, anything, ever! [to Russell] Give me a time. (interview) So, I have to go over and do it for him. [brings Raj's salmon to the pass] Hot behind, salmon on the pass.
Gordon: Perfect, let's go.
Narrator: Thanks to Vinny, Raj's salmon is finally on its way out to the dining room.

Narrator: Thanks to Boris, no food is leaving the blue kitchen.
Scott Leibfried: There you go, send it back.
Narrator: But thanks to Raj, none of them are going to waste.
[Raj starts eating the leftover fish]
Raj: (interview) I see all this food, and it looks delicious, so I just, you know, ate it.
Boris: Raj, please don't do that.
Gordon: Look, he's eating it, look! Haven't you got enough in there?!
Raj: But that's so good! It's really a waste.
Gordon: Wow!
Raj: No. I mean—just a quick little bite. It's really tasty.
Gordon: Ah, fucking hell!
Raj: (interview) How could Chef Ramsay blame me for eating this delicious food? It's fantastic.
Narrator: While Raj has snack time in the blue kitchen, over in the Red kitchen, Gail...
[Cut to Gail staring in space]
Gordon: Gail!
Narrator: ...has nap time.
Gordon: Wakey-wakey! [sees Gail's meat pan catching fire] You're on fire.
Nona: (interview) Oh, my God! There's flames shooting up! And Gail was [sticks her tongue out in disgust] nothing. Nothing's happening.
Gordon: Gail, out the way! Oh my God. [removes the pan off the burner and throws it into the sink; gets the burnt rib-eye beef] Gail, I think your pan's a bit too hot. [throws the rib-eye back in the sink] You've lost it.
Gail: I haven't lost it.
Gordon: Yes, you–look, you've given up. Body language, face, attitude, you've given up. Anyone that can stand there, and watch a piece of rib-eye beef SET ON FIRE is out of control! You've given up!

Narrator: Back in the blue kitchen...
Raj: Up to the pass with the halibut. [brings his halibut to the pass]
Narrator: Raj is eager to finally impress Chef Ramsay.
Gordon: Sorry about the delay, let's go.
Raj: (interview) HIIYYYYAAAHHHH! HAH!
Narrator: Maybe, a little too eager.
Gordon: [finds that Raj has cooked three other Dover soles] How many have you cooked? One, two, three. Oh my God.
Raj: (interview) When I get busy, I just start firing everything. So when they need it, I got it.
Gordon: What are you doing? Playing the odds? Maybe one will be good out of three?!
Raj: (interview) But this is Chef Ramsay's kitchen, you can't do that.
Gordon: Why would I try to fire three tables?!
Raj: Um, yes. Um...
Gordon: [disgusted] Donkey!
Vinny: Dude, you can't serve this to anybody! He's not going to take that! (interview) Raj cooks three Dover soles before they were even remotely close to... to needing them.
Gordon: SOLE SPECIAL!
Raj: Chef, we ran out of the sole special.
Gordon: What...? [reaches for a ticket] I've got three on ORDER??!!!
Louis: (interview) We ran out of Dover sole? Oh, man. This is going to be real ugly.
Gordon: Oh, no... [goes near the door and sits in fetal position]
Boris: (interview) This sucks. Embarrassing! Fuck!
Raj: (interview) It's a very bad situation. I don't know what we're going to do. I think we have to figure something out quickly.
Gordon: [to Raj] Get out there and tell them you're dragging two! And you go to the customers and tell them you fucked it up!
Raj: I need another jacket, though. I can't go out there with this jacket.
Gordon: Hey come—come here, you! If I tell you to get out there, I don't give a fuck if you've got a thong up your fat crack! GET OUT THERE!
Raj: I can't with this thing. I can't, I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: Hey, hey, listen. Fuck off out there, will you?
Raj: [removes his apron and goes over to Chef Scott] I can't put this—
Scott Leibfried: PUT IT DOWN, AND GET OUT THERE!!!!
[Raj leaves the kitchen and goes to the diners to apologize]
Raj: (interview) Couple of things are going to my head. [talks to hungry diners] Hi, my name is Raj. (interview) My God, look at this, I'm a star. [talks to some other diners] I'm terribly sorry, but we ran out of the sole special. (interview) Then the next thing you know, look at this, I'm an idiot. So it's this elation and then this degration. All at the same time. [to the diners] We have other nice fish, though, if you'd like to try that instead.

[The red team lost the night's service; they have nominated Emily and Sabrina for elimination]
Gordon: Sabrina, your team really wants you up here, yeah? Tell me very quickly, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen.
Sabrina: I don't think that I should go home! I shouldn't be here, Melissa should be here. Who has been consistently horrible? The executive chef, right there! Emily, yeah, she fucked up and she sucks, but at least she hasn't done as horribly as Melissa.
Gordon: Take a big, deep breath. I want to know why you think you should stay in Hell's Kitchen, yeah? You.
Sabrina: I'm here to learn, and I'm here to grow! I have bigger balls and more determination than any of these fucking girls here! All of them put together, chef!
Gordon: Okay, this is a very difficult decision. The person leaving Hell's Kitchen is... [long pause, then points to the blue team, who won the night's service] Raj. Get your arse over here. [Raj stands up and goes to Gordon, while the assembled red and blue team members smirk and laugh at him] You, big boy, are out of your league. Big time. And I personally can't go an inch further. Jacket. [Raj hands over his jacket, then goes in the direction of Gordon's office; Gordon points him to the actual exit] There's the door there, big boy.
Raj: (interview; outside the restaurant) I can't believe it. It's just a shock. I didn't get along with anybody, I didn't get along with Chef Ramsay. I didn't get along with Scott, I didn't like the menu. But it was a great experience. I had a great time, and I'm really glad I did it.
Gordon: [to the blue team] Relieved?
Vinny: Oh, man. That was like a reward, bro. Thank you.

Gordon: When the going gets tough in the kitchen, a chef puts his head down and cooks. All Raj wanted to do was put his head in the freezer, and that's why his stay in Hell's Kitchen was a short one.

Episode Four [8.04][edit]

Narrator: While Louis starts over on his first entrees...
Louis: Refire!
Narrator: ...back in the red kitchen, Melissa is ready to redeem herself on appetizers.
Gordon: Three ravioli, one minute?
Melissa: Yes, coming right now, chef.
Gordon: So three three's are what?
Melissa: [while cooking ravioli] Six.
Gordon: [shakes his head in shock] Oh...
Melissa: Oh, three three–nine! Yes!
Gordon: And you've got–Hey, come here you. Come here. Three three's are six?
Melissa: No–I was counting the pans, chef. I'm sorry.
Gordon: Yeah, I'm watching you like a hawk. Do you know why? You can't even count to nine. You scare me.
Gail: (interview) What the fuck is she doing over there? Melissa can't handle it.
Gordon: Two three's are six! Three three's are what?!
Melissa: Nine.
Gail: (interview) Do you want me to come over there and cook for you?
Gordon: Right now, get it together, and we need to focus!
Melissa: Yes, chef.

[James returns to the pass with pizza]
James: Blue Team, Table 3.
Gordon: [finds that the pizza is burnt on the bottom; returns and slams the pizza on Rob's station] Come on, chunky monkey! I trusted you. I don't need to turn your pizzas upside down. When it's fucking burnt, don't send it! [gives the pizza to Rob] In fact, you know what? Fuck off to the bar, eat the pizza. Get out, eat it, and come back!
Rob: (interview) Come on, get over yourself. It's the last thing I wanted to do while my team's getting pummeled, and it's so degrading. [goes into the bar and eats the burnt pizza]
Gordon: [to Louis] You can't fucking cook a pork chop, he (Rob) cremates a fucking pizza!
Trev: (interview) I don't know if that was really a punishment for Rob. I mean, come on. Chef Ramsay sends the fat guy to the bar to go eat his own burnt pizza.
Rob: [eats burnt pizza at the bar] Fucking humiliating bullshit.

Gordon: One chicken, one pork chop!
Louis: Five minutes, chef.
Gordon: [holds the tickets] He's trying to propose to his future fiancée!
Louis: Yeah.
Gordon: Move, Louis!
Louis: Yes, chef.
Gordon: You'll make them break up before they even fucking get married!
Louis: Thirty seconds, cutting pork now. (interview) Once you get behind on something it can't let things get to you. I am just hitting my stride and ready to rock. [on his pork chop] Pork is fucking pink. Chef Scott?
Scott Leibfried: What?!
Louis: [carries the pork in his hands] I fucked the pork and it's pink. It's pink, chef.
Scott Leibfried: You can't even put it on a pan, you goddamn slob?! You're going to walk around with a pork chop in your hands like that?! GET IT IN THE FUCKING OVEN!!!
Louis: Yes, chef.
Scott Leibfried: [to Louis] You walk around like a pig, what kind of slob are you?
Trev: (interview) Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Gordon: All of you, come here!
Louis: Fuck!
Gordon: ALL OF YOU! You fucking go on the reward, you take advantage, you come back and you perform like FUCKING IDIOTS!!
Louis: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Get a grip...
Louis: Yes, chef.
Gordon: ...or fuck off!!
Louis: Yes, chef!

Narrator: While the blue team tries to regroup, Boris decides that this might be a good time to clean up.
Gordon: [to Boris] Can you stop washing pans?
Trev: Boris!
Rob: (interview) Wow, Boris! What the fuck?!
Gordon: This is a fucking kitchen!! I'M TRYING TO FUCKING RUN A RESTAURANT!!!
Boris: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Come here you! [leads Boris to the washroom] You want to wash pans?! Get down there and fuck off will you, yeah?! DO IT FULL-TIME! GET ON THERE! What a Muppet.
Boris: (interview) I've never been kicked out of the kitchen in my life. It was all my fucking fault.
Gordon: LA MARKET IS NOT LOOKING FOR A FUCKING HEAD CHEF IN PANS!!!

[After Russell failed to bring the polenta for the pork, Gordon has had it]
Gordon: All of you, just stop! You make yourself look so stupid. And look, the food died. It's like a funeral in here. Do me one big favour: Get out. GET OUT! We'll (Gordon, Scott and Andi) cook. Get Out. Andi, Scott, let's go. [the women and the remaining men leave the kitchen]
Trev: (interview) Let's throw a whole bunch of chicks in to the mix and maybe it'll make everything all better. No it made it worse, too many cooks in the kitchen man!

[The red team decides to nominate Gail and Melissa, but Nona doesn't agree]
Nona: [to Gail and Melissa] I'm pissed. I don't think either one of y'all deserve to go up there. Honestly, I think it'd be only one person.
Melissa: Who?
Nona: Who the fuck do you think?! (interview) We don't want Sabrina on the team anymore! She is dead weight! How come no one else sees this?! [to Melissa] You have got to fight and be like, "You know what? This is fucking bullshit!"
Melissa: She fucked you guys over.
Gail: She fucked me over. She fucked me over!
[Nona, Gail and Melissa return to the dorms to confront the rest of their teammates]
Melissa: (interview) For some reason, this bitch is out to get me! You know what? Game on!
Nona: I think that we should put Sabrina up.
Jillian: Why are you gonna do that again?
Nona: [to Sabrina] If Melissa had not saved your ass tonight, it would've gone down.
Sabrina: No!
Emily: I agree.
Sabrina: That's fine! Put me up! PUT ME UP, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! [to Melissa] Put me up, put me up!
Melissa: Calm down your little ghetto attitude and shut the fuck up!
Sabrina: No! You're a little pussy-ass bitch! YEAH, YOU DESERVE TO FUCKING GO UP! YOU'RE AN EXECUTIVE CHEF! YOU HAVEN'T DONE BETTER THAN ME AT ALL! AT ALL!! SIGNATURE DISH, CHALLENGES, NOTHING! (interview) I totally lost respect for all of them. I'm gonna make their lives literally Hell. Put my ghetto ass up there, go right ahead. They haven't seen anything yet.

Gordon: Louis the camp cook dreamed of fine dining, but the only thing I would trust him with is toasting a marshmallow. Kumbaya, my friend.

Episode Five [8.05][edit]

[During the blue team’s punishment; they’re tasked with decorating the dining room for a Prom for students at Beverly Hills High School]
Prom Committee Member 1: Russell, you have to put the colored one down before the film.
Russell: Colored what?
Prom Committee Member 1: The colored...
Prom Committee Member 2: See, this teamwork is exactly what helps in the kitchen, right? Like teamwork in the kitchen?
Russell: Yo. Don’t talk about the kitchen, ‘cause you guys don’t know shit about the kitchen.
Prom Committee Member 1: How about you not give us attitude?
Russell: Are you kidding me? We’re doing this for you. How about you back up a little bit? (interview) This is not a joke. I’m not here to play with little kids. They’re pushing me to the limit! (to the Prom committee) I’m not doing this for my fifteen minutes of fame. I’m doing this for a fucking career, so step off!
Prom Committee Member 2: Watch your language!
Russell: Watch my language? I’m a grown ass man.
James: Hey, guys. Come on. These are clients of Hell’s Kitchen. Stop being disrespectful! Get on with the job, get it done, and show a little bit of respect. Alright?
Trev: (to the Prom committee) Why don’t you guys just keep going through me? These guys are just frustrated. (interview) For Russell to blow up like that; unacceptable. Up and down the board, unacceptable.

[Gordon checks on crab cakes brought up by Emily]
Gordon: Crab cake, aiyayay. (returns to the workstation) Excuse me! All of you, come here! This is what you've just served me! Just look at that, look. They're not even crispy, touch that on top. They're soggy. THEY'RE SOGGY!! It's like I've eaten it and sent it back!
Jillian: (interview) The only thing Emily had to make is crab cakes. My 6-year old could do this.
Emily: Give it back. I'll make new ones.
Gordon: OH, MY GOD!!
Emily: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (to Jillian) Jillian, three fucking salad, fresh!
Jillian: Okay, chef. (interview) Emily sucks.

Narrator: Meanwhile, in the Blue kitchen...
Gordon: Boris? How many crab cakes have you got in the pan?
Boris: Ten altogether, chef.
Narrator: Boris is getting a little ahead of himself.
Gordon: There's only two away and you just cook me ten. Boris?
Boris: Yes, chef?
Gordon: I fired two, I got ten. Is this the sign of things to come?
Russell: (interview) Boris started firing like a gang-bang on crab cakes. It is like, "dude, learn to count."
Gordon: Look at me! We'll do one table at a time, it's not a race! Common sense, gentlemen!
Boris: Yes, chef. Understood.
Gordon: Fresh crab cakes, let's go!

Narrator: While Boris is now cooking his crab cakes to order, in the Red kitchen, Melissa has already moved onto entrées.
Gordon: [finds that Melissa has put out filets from the oven] What in the fuck?
Narrator: Unfortunately, her team is not even close to completing the appetizers.
Gordon: Melissa!
Melissa: Yes, chef?
Gordon: What is that?! All of you, come here!
Nona: (interview) Melissa had put in a huge pile of filets in the oven. Apps weren't even done yet. I don't even know what to do in this situation.
Gordon: We've sent three tables of appetizers, and you're sticking all the beef in the oven!
Sabrina: (interview) Why the hell would you do that? I wouldn't even do that.
Gordon: [to Melissa] Do you want to go home? Why don't you make my life easier and just fuck off home? You can't be normal! [starts counting the filets] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
Jillian: (interview) Oh, my God!
Gordon: ...7, 8, 9, 10, 11...
Jillian: (interview) Stupid!
Gordon: ...12, 13, 14, 15, 16...
Nona: (interview) Oh, hell no!
Gordon: ...17, 18, 19, 20, 21...
Emily: (interview) What the hell are you doing, lady?
Melissa: There's 23 on the board, chef.
Gordon: SO WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU COOKING THEM NOW?! [no response from Melissa] Nona, WHY?!
Nona: I don't know, chef.
Gordon: It doesn't make sense! They're gone, they're overcooked.
Melissa: Yes, chef.
Gordon: I can't do it anymore with you. You need a system! THERE'S NO SYSTEM! I CAN'T KEEP ON TELLING YOU EVERY FUCKING SERVICE!!
Melissa: Yes, chef. (interview) Sometimes, I just go stupid. But I'm better than this. I just have to show Chef Ramsay that I have what it takes.
Gordon: Madness!

Jillian: [notices that one of Melissa’s filets are undercooked] Rare as fuck, dude.
Melissa: This is still too mid-rare.
Gordon: Melissa.
Melissa: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Why are you slicing it and sticking it back in the oven?
Melissa: I cut into it and it was too rare, chef.
Gordon: Melissa.
Melissa: Yes, chef?
Gordon: If the steaks aren't cooked, don’t slice them. Rule number one.
Nona: [interrupting] This is—
Gordon: Slice— [immediately turns to Nona]
Nona: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: NONA! Get a fucking grip.
Melissa: (interview) When Chef Ramsay’s yelling, just shut the fuck up.
Nona: Sorry. I’m sorry. I apologize.
Jillian: (interview) Seriously, just shut up.
Gordon: Come here, you! I said, COME HERE!!!
Nona: (interview; mock-pained scream)
Gordon: Talk to them, then. You tell them.
Nona: No, I'm sorry.
Gordon: No, you stand there. You tell the brigade. Tell them all, then.
Nona: I’m sorry.
Gordon: Explain why we don’t slice meat raw, and if the first one’s not cooked properly, we stop there and we put them back in the oven. Explain to your team. [hands Nona his towel] There you go.
Nona: (interview) Insert foot in mouth. I know now, I will never make that mistake again!

Gordon: Like everyone in Hell's Kitchen, Emily started at the bottom. Unfortunately, she stayed there.

Episode Six [8.06][edit]

Gordon: [checks entrée salad brought by Rob] Is that scallop cooked? I can tell it's raw. [walks back to workstation] Oh... Rob. We go from small scallop, small scallop, and look at this one here. Look.
Rob: Oh, shit!
Gordon: Raw. Oh, "Oh, shit?" THIS IS YOUR SALAD!! IT'S RAW!
Rob: (interview) I'm getting screamed at because I can't get a done scallop to finish my salad with. I'm screamed at because of that!
Gordon: I'm dragging a SCALLOP!
Russell: COME ON!
Rob: I'm getting perfect salads all night, that's it! No more! It's not gonna happen again! (interview) I'm pissed! [to Melissa] Melissa, just make sure these scallops come to me perfect. Every single time You're already losing your color over there!
Russell: [to Rob] Hey, you make sure they're perfect! It's your fucking dish!
Rob: Guess what?! They're not already! 'Cause... Look, they're burning! [to Melissa] Just work your stuff, I'll do this.

[The chef's table in the red kitchen is still missing a scallop salad from Nona]
Jillian: How long on my scallops?! (interview) Everyone on the chef's table had their food except for the poor, little old lady waiting for her freakin' salad with the scallops, and I'm like, "Come on, Nona! What the fuck?!"
Nona: It's just not–it's... they're not coloring, man!
Gordon: There's one lady sat at the chef's table with nothing in front of her. Salads urgently, Jillian! Urgently, let's go!
Trev: Scallops!
Nona: [walks to the pass] Walking on scallops for Jillian!
Jillian: Scallops, yeah! Thank you. [Gordon stops Jillian from plating Nona's scallops]
Gordon: Where's the knife? [cuts one scallop in half and shows the raw center to Jillian]
Jillian: Raw as fuck! Come on, Nona!
Nona: They're raw?
Gordon: Scallops are raw! Raw!
Nona: Give them to me now. I'll re-fire them, chef. (interview) Chef's yelling at me in front of these... the celebrity V.I.Ps, and it's frustrating. It's frustrating as hell. [to Gordon] I got a re-fire. Do you want these?
Gordon: Are they cooked perfectly?
Nona: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Right, put them down and fuck off! [cuts another scallop in half...and it's once again raw] And they're still raw!
Nona: They're raw? Still?! (interview) Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?!
Gordon: Yeah, Nona, just—Come here, all of you! ALL OF YOU! They're in the kitchen sat for an exquisite evening! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! Oh, fuck off. [throws scallop tray across workstation] Fuck off! Trev, fire me a scallop!
Trev: Yes, chef! (interview) I will take this red team by the back of their hair through the next couple of dinner services just to make sure we get it fucking done.

Gordon: Rob, get ready, stand by. Send the chef's table.
Rob: Chef, I'm waiting on scallops. I had to send them back.
Gordon: Oh, come on! Come on!
Rob: (interview) She (Melissa) was burning scallops left and right. [to Melissa] Are these fucking perfect? 'Cause you're killing me on these, man. (interview) They were terrible, so I refused to put them out. [to Melissa] I can't–I can't put these up!
Melissa: Throw them back! (interview) Not one of them is right?
Rob: Please give me more, I can't use these.
Melissa: What is wrong with the scallops this time? (interview) What the fuck?! I'm sorry, but what the fuck?!
Russell: How long on a fucking scallop?!
Gordon: Melissa! Scallop salad, how long?!
Melissa: I'm all out of scallops, chef.
Gordon: What?!
Melissa: I cooked the shit out of all the scallops. I fucked the team, chef.
Gordon: What the fuck are we doing? [gets the rejected scallops on Melissa's station] Oh, my God...
Russell: Look at all the scallops!
[Gordon pours all the scallops on one plate]
Rob: Oh, my God.
Gordon: Just come here, all of you. Stop. All of you, Vinny! [gives the plate of scallops to Russell] Take the plate, take the fucking plate! Pass it around!
Russell: Seven pounds of scallops.
Vinny: (interview) She just can't cook.
Rob: (interview) Melissa must have cooked about ten pounds of scallops, all cooked off to the garbage.
Melissa: (interview) This is just fucking embarrassing.

Trev: How's my sides? [Sabrina keeps cooking and ignores Trev] How's my sides, Sabrina?!
Sabrina: I got your carrots and I got your pommes for your wellington!
Trev: I just need you to say, "I'm ready."
Sabrina: Yes! (interview) Trevor doesn't listen to me, and Trevor doesn't take me seriously, and it's fucking frustrating.
Trev: Where are your carrots?
Sabrina: I'm getting them right now!
Trev: Carrots, carrots!
Sabrina: (interview) It pissed me off.
Trev: How long on garnish?!
Sabrina: A MINUTE THIRTY!
Trev: How long?
Sabrina: I NEED A MINUTE THIRTY ON YOUR CHICKEN GARNISH!
Trev: THANK YOU! That's all I need!
Sabrina: Fuck him, man! I just wanna fucking sock that motherfucker! (interview) Trev's sitting there screaming at me the whole time. There's, like, a million things you have to do, okay?!
Trev: Let's go, let's go, let's go! Two to the window, wellington's ready! Chicken's ready! Walking, walking! (interview) I am a nice fucking guy, but my patience is wearing thin.
Gordon: Wellington's perfectly cooked.
Trev: Thank you, chef.
Gordon: Where's the rest?! COME ON!
Trev: [to Sabrina] Let's go! Get the garnish up there!
Sabrina: Fuck! I can't do it all! I can't fucking do it all! That's all I'm saying!
Trev: Sabrina, you're gonna have to handle the station by yourself sooner or later.
Sabrina: No, that's fine! THAT'S FINE!
Gordon: Madam. Hey, you. Come here, you.
Sabrina: I'm sorry, chef! I didn't do it, man!
Gordon: Look at me. Just get it ready and shut your mouth at once, yes?!
Sabrina: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Look at me! Show you've got some discipline and SHUT IT!!
Sabrina: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Melissa had a red jacket, she had a blue jacket and now she has no jacket at all.

Episode Seven [8.07][edit]

James: [Gives Gordon a ticket] It's your family.
Gordon: Here we go. On order: six covers, table one.
Blue team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Three wings, one mozzarella, one risotto, one truffle salad.
Boris: Yes, chef!
Gordon: My family!
Boris: (interview) We better get this fucking order right.
Boris: Let's go, guys yes?
Russell: Three wings, one mozz is coming chef. Vinny, are you ready on the risotto?
Vinny: No, no.
Gordon: Vinny, I need the fucking risotto! What are you doing?
Vinny: (interview) I can't sit there and [waves his hands] go like this and have my risottos' magically finish.
Gordon: Hurry up Vinny! We've got to go up now!
Vinny: Yes, chef. (interview) I grabbed the risotto I had just sent up for the previous table. There's nothing wrong with it.
Vinny: Yo, I'm going up with the risotto, guys!
Gordon: No, that's not fair. That's old! Trying to get away. Hey bozo, come here, you.
Vinny: Yes, chef. What happened?
Gordon: Shut your fat East Coast mouth!
Vinny: Yes, chef.
Gordon: This table that you just sent me that shit for happens to be my family!
Boris: (interview) Oh, no. What are you doing?
Gordon: And even if it's not my family, they deserve a fresh risotto. Look at me...
Vinny: Yes, chef.
Gordon: ...you dirty little fucker! If you can't be bothered to do it, fuck off out of here! Do you want to go home?! Whether it's my family or not, if your family were here, or your family were here, or your family, I'd make your family or your wife or your children A FRESH FUCKING RISOTTO! He sneaks that in there. Yeah. That's the shit I served five minutes ago!
Rob: Okay, re-fire guys!
James: Everybody's really happy, apart from your family.
Gordon: Apart from my family? Come on, Vinny!
Vinny: (interview) Yes, chef. Sorry about that, won't happen again, I'll fix it. That's all he wants to hear and that's it.

Boris: Guys, I've been up on the chopping block three times, and to be quite honest with you, I really don't feel like going up there again.
Russell: [scoffs] So what you're saying is I should just vote myself up because you've gone up three times and put myself in danger?
Vinny: Seems like suicide.
Russell: We're not stupid, Boris! (interview) The weakest team member is Boris. He can kiss his Russian ass good-bye. [to his teammates] Boris has to go home.
Boris: I am not going home. I deserve to go home, I'm not ready to go home. I'm gonna fight until the last drop of sweat. I'm going with Vinny.
Vinny: Okay, so do what you gotta do. But I got no business going up there tonight. (interview) I made one mistake, and I corrected the mistake quick, and it turned out to really not be that big of a deal. The two people that were getting yelled at the most tonight were Boris and Rob. [to Boris and Rob] I have no choice but to vote for the two of you.
Rob: I don't feel like I should go up either. I fucking worked my ass off. I feel like Russell could've slid, and he saw me fighting the whole night by myself on garnish.
Russell: GODDAMN! [gets up from his chair]
Rob: I understand. Listen, Russell! Based on what I'm feeling, I felt a little slide could've been warranted here and there.
Russell: Goddamn, bro.
Rob: (interview) Russell I feel like should be the one up there. He could've slid over and helped me, but he decided not to do that. [to Russell] I got fucking peppered there!
Russell: So, that's your votes. Fine. That's fine.
Rob: Whatever.

[Nona and Rob are up for elimination]
Gordon: Rob, give me your jacket, big boy... [Rob takes off his jacket] because it's filthy and dirty. This is a clean one. Get it on and get back in line! Nona, back in line! Both of you! Hey, relax. It was a good service. Why should anyone go home?
[Everyone smiles and laughs in relief]
Rob: Are you kidding me? Come on!
Gail: Really?!
Rob: You can't do that to a fat guy, chef!
Gordon: IT WAS A GREAT SERVICE!
Vinny: Oh my God. [Boris bumps fists with Rob]
Gordon: After six horrible services, we finally cracked it! On service seven!
Rob: Yes, chef!
Gordon: [high fives everyone on the blue team] Thank you very much, yes?! My God, YES! [does the same with the red team] Well done, well done! Jeez!

Gordon: Tonight, I finally got a respectable service, so I gave them a little respect and didn't send anyone home. But tomorrow, they're in for the most intense dinner service in the history of Hell's Kitchen.

Episode Eight [8.08][edit]

[Gordon checks on gnocchi brought up by Trev]
Gordon: All of you, come here! What night is this? What fucking night?!
Red team: Important night of the year!
Gordon: Yeah, the most important night. Is this the most important gnocchi you've ever cooked?!
Trev: No, it's not.
Gordon: Fuck off will you?! [slams the pan on the workstation]
Jillian: Come on, Trev.
Gordon: What is that?
Sabrina: (interview) That looks like a big-ass booger.
Holli: Oh, my God.
Gordon: Wake up, Trevor! Nothing's coming out! ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT!! WAKE UP!!!
[Later in the red kitchen...]
Jillian: [to Trev] My lobster's up and you have no garnish.
Trev: (interview) Get off my ass and let me cook!
Danny: [to Holli] Trev is gone tonight. What do you think?
Holli: Yeah.
Nona: What do you need Trev?
Jillian: He doesn't know what he needs. (interview) Trev sucks. Dude, are you stoned? Like, did you smoke a fat joint before you came in here?
Gail: Trevor, you can't serve with those carrots in a burned pan.
Trev: I am going to fucking fix it.
Sabrina: I am, you fuck! I'm helping you!
Trev: Do not help me! Get the fuck out of my ass! Don't fucking help me!
Sabrina: (interview) God, he is so stupid!
Nona: Does anybody need any help right now? I'm good on apps.
Trev: Could use a hand over here, definitely.
Nona: Here's your shallots.
Gordon: How many are on the garnish!? One... two... three of you! Sabrina, garnish! Nona, garnish! Trev, what are you doing?!
Trev: Working it, chef.
Gordon: [to Gail] Gail, go over to the garnish as well, you might as well!
Gail: (interview) I've never seen Chef Ramsay called over the entire kitchen to help one person. Ridiculous. [to Trev] The squash is burning.
Gordon: The squash is what?! Burning?! [facepalms]

Rob: I need an all day on wellingtons and an all day on chicken! [Russell doesn't respond] Tell me what I need! Just a wellington, right? (interview) Russell just wasn't answering me, man. He was not communicating with me. No one's helping me here.
Rock: [to Christina] They're all on wellingtons, they ain't given to him (Rob) yet.
Rob: Nobody's fucking helping me here! I'm in the cold!
Russell: (interview) Rob, if you're that fat and you can't walk five steps up to the pass and see what you have on order, my mouth is closed.
Rob: Walk to me, Russell. Someone's gotta talk to me, man! I can't get every entrée in my head! Someone help me!
Gordon: Two chicken, one wellington, one lobster! How long?
Rob: I need about eight minutes, chef.
Gordon: Why?
Rob: I'm dragging on the chicken, chef.
Gordon: Did you forget it?!
Rob: I missed it on the ticket, chef.
Gordon: Oh, fuck.
Rob: (interview) I never heard him say anything about chicken. I'm pretty pissed because Russell definitely could've helped. He's making the fucking garnish for it and not letting me know shit!
Gordon: [to Rob] You just brought the kitchen to a stand-still!
Rob: I'm dragging chickens, chef.
Gordon: On a fucking night like tonight! [claps sarcastically for Rob]

Trev: Three broccolini, one squash! One squash is in!
Gordon: Where's the fucking broccolini?
Jillian: Dude, Trev, you have to put the basket down or it's gonna stick.
Gordon: Nona!
Nona: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Give me three broccolini! [to Trev] Hey, you, come here! I haven't sent one garnish out at the same [slams fist on the workstation] fucking time! I haven't sent them out yet! Do me a favour: Fuck off back and get some fresh air!
[Trev walks through the dining room into the hallway]
Trev: (interview) I'm pissed at myself, 'cause I'm supposed to be the guy that can do anything. I feel like shit because I've let them down. They expected me to be Superman, and Clark Kent showed up.

[Vinny brings his lobster to the pass; Gordon checks it]
Gordon: [to Scott] Is it cooked?
Scott Leibfried: Uh, it's cooked alright. Half of it is mush on the outside and the center's well done.
Christina Machamer: Uh oh.
Gordon: [returns the lobster to the workstation] On a night like tonight! You (Rob) keep me dragging for the chicken! You (Boris) keep me dragging for the appetizers, then Vinny sends me this.
Vinny: I'll fix it.
Gordon: [sarcastically] "I'll fix it."
Russell: (interview) We're going down in a heap like a California mud-slide.
Gordon: Chicken?
Rob: [brings his chicken to the pass] Going up with the chicken!
Gordon: It's pink. [returns the chicken to the workstation] All of you, come here!
Boris: (interview) Uh-oh. It's fucking chicken, Rob.
Gordon: Pink, pink, don't dare touch it! Pink, pink. All of you, what are we doing here? [pause] GET OUT! Get out of here! [angrily throws his spoon at the blue team as they exit the kitchen] GET OUT!!

Episode Nine [8.09][edit]

Gordon: [points at red kitchen] They're on their fifth ticket, you're on your second.
Russell: [to Rob] Step it up.
Trev: We gotta come back from this. Let's go. Push it out!
Gordon: Come on, Rob!
Rob: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Move it, big boy!
Rob: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Rob, [claps] MOVE!
Rob: Yes, chef! [brings scallops to the pass]
Gordon: [checks scallops with Sous Chef Scott] There's no colour on there.
Scott Leibfried: He's just not starting with the pan hot enough.
Gordon: [returns to workstation] I've got no fucking colour on my SCALLOPS!! [angrily drops plate] FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!
Russell: (interview) Come on! Let's get through a fucking service, please!
Gordon: They're raw, Rob!
Rob: I gave them a minute each side!
Gordon: What's that gotta do with it?! Where's your oil?! They're fucking raw! [starts cooking Rob's raw scallops] You take them out when they're fucking cooked! Their table's eating bar one!
Trev: (interview) Ninth service, and Rob still can't cook scallops.
Gordon: Rob, the largest one is the thickest one, so that comes out last.
Trev: (interview) I mean, Rob... Are you a complete fucking idiot?
Gordon: Sorry about the delay, let's go.
Rob: That won't happen again, guys. I got it.

[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Rob]
Gordon: [returns to workstation] Fuck! Off! Yeah, come on. [to Rob] Come here you. Look at that. It's like split vomit. Look at that. Hold on, it gets worse. [splits one halibut in half] Raw. [angrily throws the halibut away on the workstation] Fuck off!
Russell: DAMMIT, LET'S GO! FOCUS!
Rob: Sorry, bro. Sorry.
Russell: Quit saying sorry and just go! Guys, we need to GO!
Gordon: Here we go, yet again. Nothing's coming out! Hey, (Rob) you! Come here, you! Come here, come here you. Come here, you. [leads Rob into the dining room]
Trev: (interview) Here goes Rob. Bye, Rob.
Gordon: You've got five minutes to wake up, otherwise you're history. [Rob and Gordon head back into the kitchen] Hey, hey, hey, hey, big boy. And I mean five minutes! I'LL DO IT MY FUCKING SELF, AND I'LL DO IT ON THE SECTION MYSELF AND I'LL RUN THE FUCKING HOT PLATE ON MY FUCKING OWN!

Gordon: Two beef, how long?
Nona: We're about six minutes.
Gordon: Just why is it so long?
Nona: I've got one beef... one beef going, one beef resting.
Gordon: So you forgot a beef?
Nona: No, I didn't forget it.
Gordon: Come here, you. Come here. Let me explain something to you in plain English.
Nona: Yes?
Gordon: By now, these meat should be seared.
Nona: Yes, chef.
Gordon: One's seared, one's just gone in the pan. This late in the day, I'm amazed that is only one beef!
Nona: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, next ticket is three beef, one salmon.
Nona: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Where's the three beef?
Nona: I'm putting them in right now, chef.
Gordon: Hey, look at me. You're not evening listening. I'm trying to help you!
Nona: I know, and I'm taking what you're saying!
Gordon: WELL, IT SHOULD BE FUCKING SEARED BY NOW!
Nona: Yes, chef!
Gordon: It would help if the pan was on!
Nona: It's on, chef!
Gordon: Fuck off, will you? [starts walking down to Nona's station] Out of my way. Get out. Does that look fucking hot to sear three beef? Let me show you something. [takes the three beef out of the pan, showing that the pan is not hot enough] Look, there you go. "It's hot, chef."
Nona: I just put 'em in!
Gordon: Get out my way! [Nona walks back slowly] Get out my fucking way! Get out my fucking way! [Nona is at the back of the kitchen] GET OUT OF MY WAY!
Nona: I'M NOT IN YOUR WAY!
Gordon: FUCK OFF UPSTAIRS, THEN!
Nona: Alright, fine. [exits the kitchen]
Gordon: FUCK OFF! Jillian!
Jillian: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Start working that section.
Jillian: I got it, chef.
Nona: (interview, crying) You know, I get kicked out of the kitchen, and I was just starting to emerge and showing Chef I can try and lead this team. I have so much more to show, and so much more to prove! [exhales deeply]

[Gordon returns to the workstation with an overcooked egg for the spinach]
Gordon: Are you serious?
Rob: (interview) Oh, what the fuck?
Gordon: Hey, come here! All of you, come here! Just touch that egg. Just touch that! Yeah, look. Just touch it, Vinny! I don't know what the fuck you're doing!
Vinny: I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: Fucking hell. Look, a big fucking rhinoceros arse. [angrily throws spinach and towel on workstation]

[Gordon returns to the workstation with gnocchi]
Gordon: Who cooked the gnocchi?
Vinny: I did, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, crispy one side and raw. They're raw underneath. [throws the gnocchi away] Hey!
Vinny: I'll fix it.
Gordon: Hey, GET OUT!! Fix your FUCKING HAIR! Fuck off out upstairs, get out! Fuck off!
Vinny: (interview) Of all the things, the fucking gnocchi. Gnocchi of all things.
Trev: Garnish is in the window! [brings his garnish to the pass]
Russell: Coming to the window with chicken! [brings his chicken to the pass]
Gordon: [touches Russell's chicken] My fucking head's throbbing! [returns to the workstation; to Russell] That is raw!
Russell: Okay, can I send this one?
Gordon: GET OUT, Russell! Get out!! Because the chicken's raw! [to Rob] Hey, big boy. One more fuck-up, you're next. Except it won't be up there, it'll be [points at dining room] FUCKING STRAIGHT OUT THERE!
Rob: (interview) Chef Ramsay's pissed! Fuming! We're going down like a sinking ship, and there are no lifeboats left.

[Rob brings his halibut to the pass; Gordon finds that it's raw]
Gordon: [quietly in Rob's ear] Get out.
Rob: Why, chef? (interview) Ah? Did I hear that right?
Narrator: It's more than two hours into the dinner service. [shot of Russell, Vinny and Nona] Three chefs have already been kicked out of the kitchen, and much to Rob's confusion, he is about to join them.
Gordon: Hey, come here. Why?! BECAUSE THE HALIBUT'S FUCKING RAW! THAT'S WHY, CHEF ROB! GET OUT!
Trev: (interview as the only chef remaining in the blue kitchen) Uh... Hi?

Gordon: If the size of one's waist corresponds to the size of one's talent, then Rob would be a fantastic chef. Instead, he just wears gigantic pants.

Episode Ten [8.10][edit]

Narrator: With both kitchens sending appetizers, Chef Ramsay is ready to send out entrées.
Russell: [to Vinny] Where's your lamb? Is it in?
Vinny: Lamb?
Narrator: Unfortunately, Vinny is not.
Trev: Vinny, you got a lamb chop pulled?
Vinny: I need a lamb for this order?
Russell: Yeah.
Gordon: Where are we out on the lamb?
Vinny: I don't have it all. (interview) I forgot it completely.
Gordon: Where's the lamb?
Vinny: Six minutes on the lamb, chef!
Gordon: What?! HAVE YOU FORGOT THE LAMB?!
Vinny: Yes.
Gordon: Oh, fucking hell.
Vinny: I forgot the lamb, chef.
Gordon: That lamb...was for Josiah Citrin's table. James! Come in!
Vinny: Fuck! FUCK!
[James walks into the blue kitchen]
Gordon: [to James] There's the fucking lamb! It's still got its fur on there!
James: [to Vinny] You know who this guy is, yeah?
Vinny: I know who this guy is and I am very sorry!
James: You ate in his restaurant. How long are we at?
Vinny: Ab–about five minutes.
Gordon: Of all the tables, Josiah Citrin!
Vinny: I'm very sorry.
Gordon: Yeah, fucking right you'll be.
Russell: (interview) Oh, dude, you're killing me. And not only are you killing me, you're killing yourself, bro.

Vinny: For the love of God, please be fucking medium rare. [slices lamb] Oh, Jesus Christ.
Gordon: Fucking lamb! Josiah! The lamb, how long?!
Trev: LAMB!
Vinny: I am bringing it up right now, chef. [reluctantly runs to the pass] Goddammit.
[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Vinny]
Scott: Lamb's still not ready.
Gordon: Un-fucking-believable. Vinny! Are you fucking kidding me?! With a man like that with his reputation, [knocks his hand on the workstation] ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!! OH, COME ON!!
Russell: (interview) Don't serve it if ain't right. You should know better Vinny.
Josiah Citrin: If my lamb was here, these guys wouldn't be getting yelled at.
Gordon: It's still fucking walking! Look at it!!
Josiah Citrin: Get him, chef!
Gordon: THIS IS A CAR CRASH!! Trev, Russell, Vinny! DO SOMETHING!! WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKING GOING ON?!!

[Josiah Citrin has finally been served his entrée but disapproved of it for being overcooked]
Gordon: [to James] How's Josiah?
James: Really, really unhappy.
Gordon: [to the blue team] All of you, so you fucking go there. You grace his table, he looks after you, he comes in here, and look at the treatment. Hey, [to Trev] have you ever won a Michelin star?
Trev: No, I haven't. I haven't even won one!
Gordon: Yeah there's a guy out there with TWO MICHELIN STARS AND LOOKING AT US LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING PRICKS! Well done! Unbelievable!

[Vinny has brought Gordon an undercooked bass]
Gordon: This is not possible!
Russell: We're done.
Vinny: Huh?
Russell: You're done.
Gordon: [to the blue team] That's what I get served! Look, come here, all of you! [tilting the tray] He brings that pissing over, and the big surprise is the fucking bass is FUCKING RAW! [Gordon slams the bass down on the countertop] WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

[Gail brings her fifth lobster capellini re-fire to the pass; Gordon tastes a pasta strand before spitting it out]
Gordon: Gail! Look, I've got raw pasta! [picks up several strands of undercooked capellini] Hey, look at it! It's standing up straight! Look, madam! It's like a fucking thong leftover from a fucking night out in Vegas! COME ON!! All of you, just taste that, will you?! Taste it! Taste it! That's what you're sending me, taste it!
Jillian: It's hard. [Nona spits out pasta into a trash bin]
Gail: (interview, groans) Bad night. Bad night for me.
Gordon: Hold on, hey. It gets worse! [lifts pasta pan to show another pan with raw lobster underneath it] Touch that.
Jillian: Rubber.
Sabrina: It's raw.
Gordon: [to Gail] Every lobster you sent me tonight—Its been undercooked, overcooked! Undercooked, overcooked! Now, it's [slams fist on workstation] FUCKING RAW! Look at me! Get out!
Gail: Yes, chef. [leaves red kitchen for the dorms]
Gordon: Get out! Get OUT! [to Jillian] Fish and garnish!
Jillian: Okay, chef.
Gail: (interview) That fucking lobster! I failed my team. I failed Chef Ramsay, so, um... It hurts. [sighs] There's no crying in the kitchen.

Gordon: When the competition first started, I thought Vinny was the one to beat. But after tonight's dismal performance, he's now the one to go home.

Episode Eleven [8.11][edit]

Jillian: (interview) I thought Michelin was a tire.

[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Sabrina]
Gordon: Oh, no! What is that? Sabrina! That is cooked to fuck, and that there, fried risotto?
Russell: Burnt!
Jillian: (interview) Come on, Sabrina! Don't start us off like this!
Gordon: I want risotto, not fried risotto!
Sabrina: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Right now!

Sabrina: How long Trev, two spaghetti?
Trev: Four!
Sabrina: Four! Four minutes that is pasta getting to cook in four minutes, Trev?
Trev: COOK PASTA IN THE PAN!
Jillian: Stop yelling!
Scott Leibfried: [approaches to Trev and yells at him] Hey! You watch your mouth right now! You don't stand over there and scream, I'm the one that's waiting for food from you, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND COOK THE PASTA!
Gordon: Shit!
Trev: (interview) Now I'm trying, all you want to do is berate me, belittle me, get on my ass?! Piss off!
Gordon: Talk about out of fucking control.

Gordon: Oh, no. Gail?
Gail: Yes, chef?
Gordon: It's not possible! That's what I got at the pass. [Gordon holds up a piece of halibut stuck to the pan] When it's brown, it's cooked. When it's black, it's fucked!
Gail: (interview) Stuck to the pan. Yeah.
Gordon: That's what I got given at the FUCKING PASS! SHIT!!! [Gordon slams down the pan, and a pair of tongs almost hit him in the face]

Gordon: There's no teamwork, there's no care, there's no passion! FUCK OFF!
Jillian: (interview) I've never seen such chaos!
Gordon: I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm fucking dying!
Gail: (interview) He's gonna kick us all out of the kitchen.
Gordon: All of you, JUST STOP!!
Gail: (interview) We're done, this is over.
Gordon: COME HERE! [pause; to Sabrina] What's wrong with you?!
Sabrina: Nothing, chef.
Gordon: Look at me! Hey, look, you ignorant bitch!! Look at my fucking eyes when I'm talking to you!
Sabrina: Yes, chef.
Gordon: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
Sabrina: I'm trying to work, chef. I'm trying to communicate.
Gordon: WAKE UP!
Sabrina: Yes, chef.
Gordon: [to Trev] You! What's wrong with you?!
Trev: Nothing.
Gordon: GET A GRIP!
Trev: You got it.
Gordon: [to Russell] Hey, you! You may bark, but there's shit all coming out! [to Gail] And, you, look! Hailbut's STUCK TO THE PAN!! [slams fist down]
Gail: (interview) We don't deserve to wear the black jackets, and this far into the game, we should be able to run a kitchen.
Gordon: For GOD'S SAKE! [throws spoon across the kitchen]

[Gordon checks on rib-eye beef brought up by Russell; after finding out that it's raw, he has had it]
Gordon: Russell! [goes worried] Stop! [throws spoon on the floor] I can't take anymore. I can't. I can't do this. I CANNOT DO THIS ANY-FUCKING-MORE! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! It's not fair on fucking me, [turns to the customers] and it's not fair on them! [to the final six] GET OUT!! FUCK OFF!! GET OUT!!! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! GET OUT!! GET OUT!!! [to Trev; tosses a blue steak to him] Hey, catch your blue steak! Fucking blue!
Trev: (interview) This sucks. It's a horrible feeling, feels like you're letting down the world. [shamefully lowers his head]
[Customers are leaving Hell's Kitchen]

Gordon: Sabrina was quite dramatic in her final plea, but I'm not looking for a drama queen. I'm looking for a head chef.

Episode Twelve [8.12][edit]

Gordon: This is like a joke. It's like you've been Punk'd, like you've been set up to look stupid.

[Gordon returns an undercooked appetizer to the workstation]
Gordon: [to Trev] Hey bozo! [does a stop signal; angrily knocks the workstation with both hands] Just all of you, look at me now! It's like you're doing it on purpose!
James: Oh, chef's losing it.
Gordon: Hard, undercooked, and stone-cold. Three beef—Oh, hold on. Hey, just put your finger on that. Look at us! WE DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!! WHERE'S YOUR PASSION?!! [angrily throws his spoon] I'm done standing here with a bunch of idiots. [throws his apron on the workstation] Fuck you all. Good luck, superstars. [he and Sous Chef Scott exit the kitchen through the dining room] Fucking useless. Aiyayayay.
Nona: (interview) We are fucked! Come on!
Paris Hilton: Oh, man.
Steven Cojocaru: Aw, there he is.
James: Oh, he's left.
Gail: (interview) This is over. Over.
Jillian: (interview) Holy shit. What the fuck just happened? Chef is pissed.
Gordon: [to himself] Oh, fuck! I can do some real damage by staying there.

Gordon: Gail's performance in Hell's Kitchen was up and down, up and down, and up and down. Roller coasters are great for amusement parks, not kitchens.

Episode Thirteen [8.13][edit]

[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Nona]
Gordon: (tastes) It fucks me off. [returns the risotto to the workstation] STOP! (to Nona and Trev) Come here you! (to Russell) Come here! (to Jillian) And you as well! Have a fucking good taste! [Gordon tastes, as well as the final four]
Nona: (interview) Awesome. It's freaking great. I love what's happening right now.
Gordon: What's the first thing that comes to your mouth?
Russell: Pepper! (interview) Yeah, can we have some risotto with the pepper, please? Refire.
Gordon: [spits out the risotto in disgust] Three stunning risottos away.
Nona: Yes, chef. (interview) Sucks, sucks, sucks.

[After dinner service, the remaining four debate over who should go home]
Jillian: I killed it on garnish tonight! There's no reason I should go up for elimination.
Trev: I thought I had a great night, too. [to Nona and Russell] I'm nominating you two. You guys were the ones who had fuck-ups tonight.
Nona: I had a good night. My votes are Trev, and... my second one is Russell because of the scallops and the halibut. (interview) Russ was not perfect tonight, and Trev did not do too bad, but it's hard to go wrong when you have Chef Ramsay wiping your ass for you.
Jillian: My votes are for Trev and Russell, too.
Trev: (interview) What the hell?! [to Jillian] What happened to the plan?
[Flashback to before dinner service]
Jillian: [in the flashback] Let them get put up for elimination tonight. Even if they do good.
Trev: [in the flashback giving Jillian a high-five] Boo-yah, shocka!
[Back to present]
Trev: (interview) Jillian's selling me out.
Russell: I'm definitely voting for you, Trev because of your attitude and communication lapses. It's fucking ridiculous. [Trev just shrugs] If you talked to me like you talked to me before about that salmon, I would have slapped the shit out of you! [Jillian and Nona stare at Russell in shock] If you ever think you can cop an attitude like that with me, best believe you're gonna catch one to the side of your fucking head!
Nona: W–Whoa!
Trev: [shrugs again] Okay.
Russell: I will fuck you up, bro!

Episode Fourteen [8.14][edit]

Trev: New order! One spaghetti, two scallops, one truffle salad! [pause] How long?! [no one responds]
Jillian: (interview) Nobody's listening to anything Trev says. Just like, "Blah-blah-blah," coming out his mouth!
Trev: Knock it out, guys! Let's get 'em in, get 'em out! [Nona continues to ignore Trev]
Gordon: Answer him!
Jillian: (interview) Nobody respects him, and that's why while he's on the pass, everyone's ignoring him.
Trev: One spaghetti, two scallops, one truffle salad! [beat; Sous Chef Scott looks up]
Gordon: Is there an answer?!
Nona & Russell: Yes, chef!
Narrator: The chefs may not be listening to Trev, but that doesn't stop him from calling more tickets.
Trev: One salmon, two beef, one wellington! Six minutes to the window!
Nona: Six minutes!
Trev: Thank you!
Gordon: [facepalms] Stop two beef, one salmon, one wellington! 'Cause we haven't the fucking appetisers yet!
Trev: Son of a bitch.
Gordon: "Son of a bitch?!" Ah, [throws spoon] fucking hell!
Trev: Fucking hell's right.
Jillian: (interview) Trev sucks. Sorry, Trev, you suck.
Gordon: COME ON, TREVOR!

[During the penultimate dinner service; Jillian is the last on the hot plate]
Narrator: After failing to notice Chef Scott's swapping of the meat, Jillian is on high alert.
Gordon: Come on, Trev!
Jillian: You’re not sending that shit out. That one looks like crap! Fire a new one (halibut), fire it now!
Trev: It’s ready right now, if you want it.
Jillian: COME ON! (interview) Trev, you’re fucking up and it’s not right. [Trev brings his fish to the pass] This one’s skinny as shit and that one’s fat as fuck! You got a different one?
Trev: It’s gonna take six minutes if you want me to do that!
Jillian: Well, this is not how they look on the same table! It’s bullshit!
Trev: They’re not all cut equal!
Nona: (interview) Jillian is just [makes a clawing motion with her hand] "RAWRAWRAWRAWRAWR!!!", all over Trev!
Jillian: [checks on more halibut brought up by Trev] Trev!
Trev: Yes, chef.
Jillian: YOUR HALIBUT IS FREAKIN’ RAW! Come here! Come here! Look at that shit, dude! It’s fucking raw! COME ON! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA DO IT?!
Trev: Sixteen, if it takes.
Jillian: As many times as it takes?!
Trev: As many times as it takes to get it right!
Jillian: WELL, FUCKING GET IT RIGHT, MAN!
Trev: Doesn't make any sense to me.
Jillian: (interview) I just don’t understand, like... I don’t get it.
Gordon: You’ve got to control the kitchen, otherwise the kitchen controls you.
Jillian: Yes, chef. [to Trev] YOU’RE SCREWING ME ON THE PASS!
Trev: Dude, they’re all different fucking sizes!
Gordon: Jillian, you have to convict this! This is just not good enough! [to the Black Jackets] LISTEN TO ME, IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH![to Trev] YOU MAY WANT TO SCREW HER, BUT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING SCREW ME! COME HERE, YOU! Next time you fuck her again, or fuck me on one halibut, you’re fucking out! NOW WAKE UP! A JOKE’S A JOKE, BUT QUIT IT!
Jillian: (interview) I wanted to throw a fucking hot pan at Trev’s head. Stop making me look bad, do your job! [to Trev] Move it!
[Trev brings up his halibut, which is finally perfectly cooked]
Gordon: Now, yeah. You know how it feels standing here, yes?
Jillian: Yes, chef. It fucking sucks.
Gordon: Sideways.

Gordon: Jillian didn't let her lack of fine dining experience get in the way. She made it this far because of her passion and determination. Unfortunately, it just wasn't enough to get her into the final.

Episode Fifteen [8.15][edit]

Russell: (interview) I'm pissed. I'm not happy at all. I chose the team that I wanted, and I thought they would help me win. In fact, they helped me lose, so... you know, thanks a lot, guys. [to his dad] I felt like I was being sabotaged. (interview) You will never get a job in any city I work. I'm gonna definitely blackball you guys, because you guys fucked me so royally tonight.

Gordon: When Hell's Kitchen first started, I used to say, "No, no, no" to Nona. After every service, she improved dramatically, and I was soon saying "Yes, yes, yes". She has a phenomenal palate and a real passion for cooking. Soon, all of America will be saying "yes" with me when they see her excel as the head chef of LA Market.