Hell's Kitchen (uncensored)/Season 1

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Hell's Kitchen is an American cooking reality show based on the British program of the same title, where Chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

Episode One [1.01][edit]

Elsie: [about Chef Ramsay] He's like the Simon Cowell of the kitchen.
Jessica: He's way worse than Simon Cowell.

Narrator: The time has come for the competitors' first encounter with Chef Ramsay and his legendary high standards. They have no idea what they're in for.

[Signature dishes]
Gordon: I'm Gordon Ramsay, welcome to Hell's Kitchen. [uncovers a dish] Whose is this?
Andrew: [raises his hand] Andrew, Chef Ramsay.
Gordon: Andrew, step forward. And what is it?
Andrew: It's called Andrew's Absolute Penne.
Gordon: Andrew's Absolute Penne.
Andrew: Correct.
Gordon: [takes a taste of the dish and spits it out] That... is absolute dog shit. Have a little taste.
Andrew: [tastes the dish] Could use some salt.
Gordon: You think you're smart, yeah?
Andrew: I have my moments.
Gordon: And how long have you been cooking?
Andrew: About ten years.
Gordon: What a waste of ten years. Get back in fucking line.

Gordon: [to Wendy after revealing her dish] Explain to me what it is, please.
Wendy: This is fried rice with Chinese sausage.
Gordon: Chinese sausage?
Wendy: Had I known you were coming, I would've put lobster in it.
Gordon: You knew I was coming. [on Jimmy's dish] Whose is that?
Jimmy: Jimmy.
Gordon: Step forward, big boy. And just explain to me what it is?
Jimmy: Pan-seared chicken breast stuffed with portobello mushroom and goat cheese.
Gordon: [holding Jimmy's dish] It looks like a dehydrated camel's turd.
Jimmy: Yes, sir.
Gordon: What's all that on the side, here?
Jimmy: That's the tops of the carrot.
Gordon: Taste them.
Jimmy: [tastes] Quite bitter.
Gordon: "Quite bitter"? I guess you want me to eat that? Hold out your hands. [throws part of Jimmy's dish with a fork] There you go. Alright, stand back. [tastes Jimmy's dish] Excuse me. [spits it out] It's dry, overcooked on the outside, raw on the inside. Back in line.

Gordon: And whose is this?
Ralph: It's mine, chef.
Gordon: What is it?
Ralph: It's a seared rare tuna with some hot-and-cold sesame noodles.
Gordon: Mmm-hmm. And first name?
Ralph: Ralph.
Gordon: Why the hot-and-cold noodles?
Ralph: 'Cause I think they go good with the tuna. The tuna's got a little spice to it. So, it's a little cool with the noodle, but it's got a little flavor to it.
Gordon: [after tasting Ralph's dish] And you work professionally in a restaurant?
Ralph: That's true.
Gordon: And what position are you?
Ralph: I'm the number one.
Gordon: You're the number one? With that shit? Back in line.

Gordon: First name?
Dewberry: Dewberry.
Gordon: Blueberry?
Dewberry: Dewberry.
Gordon: Oh, Dewberry.
Dewberry: Yes.
Gordon: [twirls spaghetti with a fork] This is what?
Dewberry: It's a baked spaghetti.
[Gordon holds up a clump of spaghetti with his fork; Dewberry looks frightened]
Dewberry: (interview) I was like, "Oh my God, he's gonna kill me."
Gordon: It's completely overcooked.
Dewberry: Is it?
Gordon: That's like children's food. Really bad.
Dewberry: Thank you.

Gordon: [uncovers a dish] Bloody hell.
Chris: That's mine, chef. I'm Chris. Executive chef.
Gordon: Executive chef?
Chris: Executive chef.
Gordon: Can you explain to me what it is?
Chris: Salmon roasted on a plank of cedar.
Gordon: I think you're a plank.
Chris: Well, I don't really know what that means, chef.
Gordon: "Plank" means, an idiot. [cuts into salmon] Why is it raw on the bottom?
Chris: It's medium rare. That's how I would eat my salmon.
Gordon: You need to clean your glasses. It's raw.
Chris: I don't agree, chef.
Gordon: Let me tell you something. And listen to me. You've got a lot to learn, so be a good plank and get back in line.

[Ralph hands Gordon the first ticket of the night]
Gordon: [to Ralph] Now disappear.
Ralph: Yes, Chef.
Gordon: Blue Kitchen, on order four covers, table 22. One risotto, two spaghetti, one soup, no cheese.
Michael: Yes, chef.
[The other four stand there and say nothing]
Gordon: That was pathetic! That was absolutely pathetic! I call out the first ticket, the big excitement and you stand there like five wimps. Five bloody wimps. I'll start again: Four covers, table 22. One risotto, two spaghetti, one soup, no cheese.
Blue Team: Yes, chef!

Narrator: Now the red kitchen's first entrées are about to go out. All that's left is a piece of salmon from the most experienced chef on the red team.
Gordon: Chris.
Chris: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Come here. You're an executive chef, right?
Chris: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Yeah? What do you think of that?
Chris: It's a little fucked up, chef.
Gordon: [shoves the fish onto Chris' chest] There you go. Sorry. I told you fucking earlier, hello? And you knew it's fucked up.
Chris: You're right, chef.
Gordon: Yeah? And an executive chef doesn't serve shit like that, do they?
Chris: I apologize, chef.
Gordon: No, no, you apologize. Don't you DO it again! Okay?
Chris: I'll start it again, chef. (interview) I haven't gotten where I am today without having skills. I think Gordon recognizing talent is going to come with time.
Gordon: Send the whole fucking table back. The executive chef has just sent me an overcooked piece of fuck. (interview) Chris has a huge chip on his shoulder. He's an executive chef which basically means you sit on your arse all day long. And clearly he's been doing that for the last ten years.

[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Jimmy]
Gordon: Jimmy, come here. [shows to Jimmy that the lamb was mangled] What have you done to that? Does that look good to you?
Jimmy: No, chef.
Gordon: So if it doesn't look good to you, why are you serving it to me? That looks like a dog dinner. And you want me to serve that in there? And you want to walk away winning a restaurant?
Jimmy: No, chef.
Gordon: [dumps the lamb onto Jimmy's whites] Fuck yourself. Get it in the bin. Get that shit out of there. How can you do that? What do we talk about standards? What do we say about if it's not right...?
Jimmy: If it doesn't look right, it doesn't go out.
Gordon: So you want that to go out?
Jimmy: No, chef.
Gordon: Is that your best shot?
Jimmy: No, chef.
Gordon: And what are you going to think of me tomorrow morning if you watched me serve that? You're going to think I'm the biggest arsehole in America. Aren't you?
Jimmy: Yes, chef.
Gordon: And you expect me to serve that?
Jimmy: No, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, for as long as I'm alive, big boy, I'm never going to serve that shit! (interview) My reputation's on the line. And I didn't come to America to look second-best. (to Jimmy) Start it again!

Andrew: How does this look, Chef Ramsay?
Gordon: What do you mean, "How does this look?" Hey, Andrew, get out the habit - come here, you. I'm not going to run to you, I'm trying to run the hotplate here. So would you be so kind to come and talk to me. Is that clear?
Andrew: (interview) I firmly believe that Chef Ramsay just doesn't like me. [to Gordon] Is this acceptable, chef?
Gordon: Yeah, listen to me, did you hear my fucking question?!
Andrew: Yes.
Gordon: Answer it! Okay?
Andrew: Yes.
Gordon: Good! Now what are you saying?
Andrew: I'm asking if this looks acceptable.
Gordon: Right, get it on the hotplate.
Andrew: (interview) You - you want to pick on me? Pick on me, I don't give a shit!
Gordon: And you think every time you want to ask me a question, fat fuck, that I'm going to go down there and run to you while I'm trying to run a kitchen. You fucking come to me. Is that clear?
Andrew: Yes, it is, chef.
Gordon: Good! Now what was the question?
Andrew: Is this acceptable to you?
Gordon: I'll let you know. Now fuck off. (interview) Andrew, he likes to learn the hard way. Kitchens are run on emotions. I may get upset, but the most important thing is, it's not personal.

Lady: Chef? Mr. Chef?
Gordon: Yes, ladies?
Lady: You hurt my friend's feelings.
Gordon: I hurt your friend's feelings?
Lady: Yes, she's very upset.
Gordon: Why?
Lady: Because you told her to fuck off.
Gordon: Oh, really? Did I?
Lady: Yeah, you did.
Gordon: Could you tell her that I meant it?
Lady: Yeah, I'll tell her.
Gordon: Jean-Philippe, S'il vous plaît? Can you please escort these bimbos back to plastic surgery?

[After a dismal opening night, Chef Ramsay has had it]
Gordon: Blue team, stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing. Forget it. [crosses over to the red kitchen] Red Team?
Red Team: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Switch it off. I'm shutting down the kitchen. I'm so pissed off, I'm not prepared to see any more fuck food coming out. SHUT IT THE FUCK DOWN!

Gordon: Jeff, your performance as a waiter? Nobody liked you. In fact, two out of three of your tables walked out early.
Jeff: It was just a horrific, horrific experience.
Gordon: And you want to win your own restaurant?

Episode Two [1.02][edit]

Gordon: Spinach, please. [to Jeff] Spinach, please!
Jeff: [looks around] Right here, chef.
Gordon: Oh, my God.
Jeff: I had it! I—
Gordon: "I had it." Here we go.
Jeff: I did! I put it back on, I didn't realize—
Gordon: Just give me the fucking spinach, Jeff! [points at pass] Look, there's the food!
Jeff: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Hello?! It's there! (interview) You can't have the meat standing there or the fish sat there waiting for the vegetables. Why should everything else suffer? [to Jeff] Can you not see that that is burnt?
Jeff: Yes, chef.
Gordon: [scoops out burnt mashed potatoes] Yeah, so you're mixing away like a fucking donkey.
Jeff: I was keeping that on the other side, chef.
Gordon: Oh, really?
Jeff: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Throw the lot away. Start again, yeah?
Jeff: Yes, chef. [puts pot underneath stove]
Gordon: Throw that away.
Jeff: It's going in the garbage, yes.
Gordon: Now! That means you won't use it. You won't sneak it in?
Jeff: No, not at all, chef!
Gordon: Throw it away, then, you little fucker!

[A man comes up to the hot plate]
Gordon: You're waiting on a wellington and one bass, yes? Well I'm deeply, deeply, deeply sorry, but right now we're about seven tables behind.
Man: That doesn't do much for me.
Gordon: Yeah, right. Can I just say you do fuck all for me either.
Man: Sorry?
Gordon: You do nothing for me either.
Man: I just don't understand why it's so difficult to serve some people their food.
Gordon: Are you that arrogant you haven't got a clue of what's going on behind me?
Man: It seems like you have a lot of amateur sous chefs.
Gordon: Right. Finally your head's coming outside your arsehole. Now sit down, you fucking dick. What an arsehole!
Narrator: Nothing upsets Chef Ramsay more than when customers come to the kitchen.

Gordon: Away now, two cod, two wellington. [Dewberry doesn't answer] Away now, two cod, two wellington!
Dewberry: Yes, chef.
Gordon: How long?
Dewberry: 12 minutes.
Gordon: 12 minutes? Surely, your wellington's rested.
Dewberry: I have no idea. That's the answer.
Gordon: What?!
Dewberry: I have no idea, I am so confused.
Gordon: Oh, my God! You don't care any more do you?
Dewberry: At this point, no, I don't.
Gordon: You don't care?
Dewberry: No.
Gordon: You're not interested, are you?
Dewberry: No.
Gordon: No, you can't cut it?
Dewberry: No, I can't.
Gordon: You're useless, you know that?
Dewberry: I am. Goodbye! [starts to leave]
Gordon: Goodbye. That's it?
Chris: Dewberry!
Jeff: Dewberry! Come on!
[Dewberry sees Elsie, and then stops by the door]
Dewberry: (interview) When I got ready to leave and I looked across, and saw Elsie, and saw the look on her face, I couldn't walk out. I couldn't. [coming back] I mean, you know, I'm confused. I don't know what I'm doing.
Gordon: Thank you for coming back. You never—Hello? Desert your section again! You understand?
Dewberry: Yes, chef!
Gordon: You stand there like a man and you face it!
Dewberry: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Because I'm standing here in front of customers taking fuck because of you!
Dewberry: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Get on your section and get those wellingtons out.
Dewberry: Yes, chef. (interview) He was trying to get me to understand what the shortcomings were and about staying with the team and.. he was trying to get me to be, I guess, better than I am evidently. [wipes away tears]
Jeff: Alright. Don't worry about it, Dewberry. Don't worry about it.
Gordon: He (Dewberry) hasn't cooked anything because he's standing there. Now, he wants to run back to his mummy.
Dewberry: Sorry.

Narrator: Three hours into dinner service, patrons from both red and blue tables start to walk out unfed. It appears the second dinner service in Hell's Kitchen is yet again, another disaster, and some customers have taken matters into their own hands
[A delivery man holding two boxes of pizza is led by a woman into the dining room, causing some customers to begin cheering]
Jean-Philippe: [to diners at a table who have begun opening the pizza boxes] S-Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you can't.
Male Diner: What?
Jean-Philippe: No.
Male Diner: Don't tell me I can't.
Jean-Philippe: No, no, seriously.
Male Diner: Look, I want some food, man.
Jean-Philippe: You can't. By, by, by law, by law...
Male Diner: Did you bring us our entrées? Let me ask you-
Jean-Philippe: You got the food, you got the food.
Male Diner: No, you did not.
Jean-Philippe: I wish your education could be as good as your... as your voice, yeah?
[Some nearby customers react with surprise, and the male diner looks annoyed and gets in Jean-Philippe's face]
Jean-Philippe: Yes, sir.
Male Diner: I have a doctorate in music from the University of Southern California. Do you have a doctorate?
Jean-Philippe: I do have an education.
Male Diner: Do you have a doctorate?
Jean-Philippe: I do have an education.
Male Diner: Then, you are less educated than me so don't get in [aggressively pokes Jean-Philippe] my face, buddy, about what kind of education-
Jean-Philippe: I would, I would-
Crew Member: [leads Jean-Philippe away from the man] Hey, hey, right now, right now, right now, right now. [to the man] Sir, you're out of here. Let's leave, please. Now.
Narrator: After pizza was delivered and his maître d' was assaulted, Chef Ramsay has seen enough.
Gordon: Red Team, shut the place down and clean down, yeah?
Red Team: Yes, chef.
Gordon: [crosses over to the blue kitchen] Last table, shut it down. Everything off, yes? Stoves off, turn it off.
Jessica: Whatever.

Gordon: Red Team, three quarters of your diners really enjoyed the appetizers... but nearly half your diners didn't receive their main course. In fact—and this is a real first for me—one of your tables was so frustrated, they phoned for a fucking pizza. And guess what? They ate it! And the main course still hadn't come out! That is one not to forget. And the losing team tonight... is the Red Team. [pause; to Chris] Chris, have you been squeezing your balls for the last three days? 'Cause every time you opened your mouth, you sounded like a right wanker. But tonight, you turned it around.
Chris: Thank you, chef.
Gordon: You were the least bad in your Red Team.
Chris: Thanks, chef.

Gordon: Dewberry, You're going home for one simple reason. You're a coward. You turned your back on your team after you screwed them.

Episode Three [1.03][edit]

[During the five-course meal challenge]
Michael: [removes dome] I have a grilled porterhouse.
[Gordon notices mushrooms carved out to look like the Hell's Kitchen logo next to the steak]
Gordon: Michael, you smart-arse. [some of the contestants laugh] What is that out of?
Michael: It's mushroom.
Gordon: Mushroom?
Michael: Yeah.
Gordon: Next you're going to tell me you got that tattooed on your butt.

Gordon: Why's the spaghetti not in there yet?
Wendy Liu: The water's not at a rolling boil.
Gordon: Not boiling? Did you top it up with cold water?
Wendy Liu: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Why did you put cold water in there?
Wendy Liu: I thought that cold water was supposed to boil faster than hot water.
Gordon: What?!

Gordon: Jeff, one spaghetti lobster with no lobster in it. The other is loaded with lobster. Wear that one out!
[Michael steps in and splits the spaghetti lobster for Jeff]
Narrator: Chef Ramsay's addition of Michael to the red team is already paying off.
Maryann: [to Jeff] Say, "Thank you Mike." Say, "Thank you Mike!"
Jeff: Thank you, Mike. [under his breath] They're expecting too much for someone who's never been on a fucking line before.
Maryann: Jeff, do you want him to cook your meat for you, too?
Jeff: What do you want me to do?! I've never been on a FUCKING line before! I'm doing it, I'm trying!
Chris North: Jeff, Jeff!
Maryann: Are you fucking talking to me, right now?! Are you?
Gordon: Whoa, whoa! What is going on?
Jeff: I'm trying the best I can!
Gordon: Come here, you!
Jeff: I'm doing the best I can, but I've never been on a line before! I'm doing the best I can!
Gordon: Alright, stop shouting. Stop shouting. What are we waiting on?
Jeff: I'm working on that spaghetti right now.
Gordon: Alright, then. Move your arse, and get it done! Dear, oh dear...
Chris North: Jeff, we're gonna help you, but you don't talk to chef like that, okay?

Gordon: Main course: Two wellington, one lamb, one bass.
Jeff: It's away, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, is Michael doing it or are you actually doing it?
Jeff: Michael was helping me, chef.
Gordon: Alright. So, what are you doing then if he's doing that for you?
Jeff: He jumped in ahead of me! I was working on it, and he pushed me aside to help me! [Gordon looks at him in disbelief] I'm working.
Gordon: Now, he's blaming Michael.
Jeff: I'm not blaming anybody, chef!
Gordon: The longer you're here, the worse you're getting.
Jeff: Chef, this is my first time on the line!
Gordon: Do you wanna argue?
Jeff: No, chef.
Gordon: Come here, you. You've cooked nothing exact yet. Nothing has come out of that kitchen right yet, you know that? We've struggled, and we've struggled, and we've struggled... and now I can't even get any lamb cooked! Well your fucking timing, you jumped-up motherfucker, has just stuffed the dining room! We've thirty customers not eating! Now, fuck off back on your section!

[Jeff has been struggling throughout dinner service]
Gordon: [reading the ticket] Two salmon, one bass, one cod, one lamb away. The lamb is medium, one salmon well done. You mark it and get it in the oven!
Michael: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Five minutes to the hotplate!
Chris: Yes, chef! [to Jeff] Jeff, you heard that (last order)?
Jeff: No, I'm done, man. I'm finished.
Chris: No you're not! Come back, Jeff!
Gordon: Are you going to go then? Are you going to run?
Jeff: No, I'm going to stay and finish up service.
Gordon: Oh, really. Why?
Jeff: Because I'm not a quitter.
Gordon: You're not a quitter. Hey, you're not a fucking cook either. [returns to the pass]
Jeff: [under his breath] You're an asshole.
Maryann: What was that? What did you just say? I want you to say it louder! I want you to say it louder, Jeff!
Gordon: Come here. What did you say?
Jeff: If you don't like me, I don't know what to tell you. You're an asshole!
Chris: That's not cool, Jeff.
Gordon: Unbelievable.
Chris: That is not fucking cool.
Jeff: [takes his jacket off and leaves the kitchen] Send my ass home. I've had enough of this shit!

[During elimination, the blue team nominated Wendy and Andrew]
Gordon: Andrew, why do you think you should stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Andrew: Well, I know we had our disagreement this evening.
Gordon: "We had a disagreement this evening?" You cooked a fucking salty risotto and sent it up to the hotplate! Start again! Why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?!
Andrew: I'm a team player, I help out, I run around. I'm constantly driving to help the team.
Gordon: This is a really tough decision... because you're both crap.

Gordon: Jeff, well, I had to laugh at the end when he called me an asshole. I've been called far worse than that! Wendy, well, you know it's about time I put you out of your misery.

Episode Four [1.04][edit]

[At 2:48 A.M., Ralph and Andrew are still outside on the patio while everyone else is asleep]
Ralph: Are you trying to achieve the role of smartass?
Andrew: Alright, fine, I'm a smartass! I got a big mouth and I stood up for what I believed tonight!
Ralph: But is that the role you want?
Andrew: No, absolutely not.
Ralph: So then, put all that smartass shit away, man. If you don't wanna be under the guillotine, then just shut your fucking mouth, man. (interview) Bottom line is, you gotta check your ego at the door when you walk in the kitchen, and Andrew needs to understand that.

[While hanging out with the rest of the contestants in the dorms, Elsie notices something in the distance and gets up to get a better look]
Elsie: Did you see that? Did you see the billboard?!
Andrew: What?
Elsie: It's Ramsay! [points at billboard with Gordon's face] Look!
Jessica: Oh, my fucking God! [everyone starts laughing hysterically] No fucking way!
Elsie: He's staring right at me.
Jimmy: I saw his eye just fucking move.
Jessica: He's totally watching us! I can see his left eye from here.
Chris: Yes, chef.
Jessica: Hey, big boy.
Chris: Oui, chef. Oui, chef.
Jimmy: Oh, shit!
Jessica: Dude, that is not right! Like, I'm freaking out about that!
Jimmy: Dude, that's fucking crazy.
Andrew: He'll call us a wanker from up above.

[Gordon brings back mashed potatoes that Jimmy brought to the pass]
Gordon: Jimmy, taste that. [pause] Hurry up, Jimmy! It's stone-cold!
Jimmy: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Back in the pan, it's stone-cold!
Jimmy: Yes, chef.
Gordon: I said to you this afternoon you were done! Get it in the pan, hurry up!
Jimmy: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Why are you sending me stone-cold garnish? [Jimmy doesn't respond] Why are you serving me stone-cold garnish?!
Jimmy: I—I'm just...
Gordon: Stop!
Jimmy: Yes, chef.
Gordon: [to Michael] Let's go, yeah?
Jimmy: I'm trying my best.
Gordon: Hey, young man. That's not good enough for me. Do you understand?
Jimmy: Yes, chef.
Gordon: 'Cause that's shit! So, don't come up to me with your wimpy, "I'm trying my best!"
Jimmy: Yes, chef.
Gordon: It's CRAP! You send me one more cold garnish, you're washing pans for the rest of your life!
Jimmy: No, you'll never get a cold garnish again.

Gordon: Andrew, where is the endive? [Andrew ignores Gordon and returns to his station] He doesn't even answer me.
Andrew: The what?
Ralph: Endive. Where's the endive?
Gordon: Where is the endive?!
Andrew: Here, chef.
Gordon: Oh, fuck off. Ralph, get it back, yeah? Get it back. I've got no endive, I've got no spinach, I've got no no butternut squash! START THE TABLE AGAIN! Andrew, hello!
Andrew: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Yes, you! Fish is not even cooked yet, so I don't know what you're doing! Hello, young man!
Andrew: Yes, chef, I'm listening!
Gordon: Yeah, young man! [points at Jean-Philippe] You explain to him what just happened with the garnish! Now!
Andrew: [to Jean-Philippe] I was late on the garnish. We're re-doing the whole order.
Gordon: Yeah, Table 26, yes? Apologize. Ticket came in an hour and five minutes ago. I couldn't send anything out because a certain individual had nothing ready on the vegetables, okay?! Let's step up a gear, and get it back on track, please!
Jessica & Mary Ellen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (interview) When Andrew kept his mouth shut and didn't bite back, the discipline was now starting to set in, and he's really starting to get the message. Finally.

Narrator: With just thirty minutes remaining, Mary Ellen in the blue kitchen gets her risottos back up to par, and the blue kitchen is cooking now... Or are they?
Gordon: [to Mary Ellen] Where is the tuna?
Mary Ellen: Tuna?
Gordon: Frog legs, tuna, spaghetti, risotto. Where's the tuna?
Mary Ellen: Coming up.
Gordon: No, but where is it?! Have you forgotten it?
Mary Ellen: I thought it was frog legs, risotto...
Gordon: Look, come here! Come here, Mary Ellen, look! [points at ticket] Frog legs, tuna, spaghetti, risotto! Read it out! Where is the tuna?!
Mary Ellen: It's gonna be two minutes, chef.
Gordon: Two minutes. Hello, starters back! [notices waiter bring risotto to hotplate] Oh, here we go. I'm taking any of that fucking bullshit, yeah? [hands tray to Mary Ellen] There you go, Mary Ellen! There you go! Take that, yeah? Take the whole fucking tray!
Mary Ellen: (interview) He sent back that whole dish because the tuna wasn't prepared. I'm so fucking mad right now. I just wanna punch him in the face.
Gordon: Come on, Mary Ellen! We're gonna start again!
Jessica: Six minutes on that, Mary Ellen.
Mary Ellen: Sorry, guys.
Jessica: Just do it right.

Gordon: Mary Ellen has left Hell's Kitchen because of her inconsistency. What the rest of the team should understand, is that it is very crucial to get better and more consistent. That didn't happen with Mary Ellen.

Episode Five [1.05][edit]

Narrator: Forty minutes into the second dinner service...
Gordon: Where's Jimmy?
Narrator: ...and Jimmy's hard work on the floor produces an unappetizing side effect.
Jimmy: [to female diner] What can I do for you tonight, miss?
Female Diner: What's going on? You're sweating? Oh, my God!
Jimmy: [chuckles; wipes forehead] I'm sorry about that.
Female Diner: Are you guys in trouble?
Gordon: Jimmy!
Jimmy: I'm getting yelled at, I'm getting pissed.
Gordon: Where is that fat fuck?
Male Diner: [to Jimmy] Wipe your sweat.
Gordon: Jimmy!
Jimmy: I'm sorry. I'll see what I can do.
Male Diner: Alright, Jimmy.
Female Diner: [laughs] He's kind of sweating like a boar!
[As he walks downstairs, Jimmy starts dropping napkins everywhere]
Gordon: JIMMY! Oh, look at him. Fucking hell. What is he doing? Like an inflated turd in a fucking cloud. Jimmy! Come on, big boy! Let's go!

[Jean-Philippe finds out that Jimmy served a tortellini order to the wrong table]
Jean-Philippe: [to female diner] Okay, tortellini and a soup. Madam, monsieur?
Female Diner: Uh, two tortellini.
Jean-Philippe: Two tortellini's. Okay, we have a problem here. [to Jimmy] Can you go see Gordon with the tray?
[Jimmy walks back to the pass with JP]
Gordon: Let's go. What's going on here?
Jimmy: I need one more tortellini.
Gordon: What do you mean, "one more tortellini?!"
Jimmy: I delivered it to the wrong table, the last one.
Gordon: What is going on?
Jimmy: (Table) 23 had gotten the two tortellini before.
Gordon: Where have they gone, then?!
Jimmy: They ate them at the wrong table.
Gordon: Oh, come on! No!
Ralph: I have extra.
Gordon: I just want four tortellini from you, Ralph! NOTHING FUCKING MORE! [to Jimmy] Where have those two tortellini gone?
Jimmy & Michael: 24, chef.
Gordon: Unbelievable! Fucking pathetic! [to Jimmy] Go for a walk and lose some weight.
[Jean-Philippe sees Jimmy scratching the back of his head and pulls him aside]
Jean-Philippe: Jimmy, stop touching yourself!
Jimmy: I was just scratching my head.
Jean-Philippe: Just stop! Don't touch your hair!
Jimmy: Okay, I'm sorry.
Jean-Philippe: Don't touch your face!!
Jimmy: I'm sorry. I had the rag in my hand.
Jean-Philippe: Stop touching yourself!
Jimmy: I'm sorry!
Jean-Philippe: Please!
Jimmy: Alright, I'm sorry.
Jean-Philippe: Come on!

Episode Six [1.06][edit]

[During the tasting challenge]
Gordon: Andrew, can you hear me, you jumped-up little politician, can you hear me? [contestants chuckle] Oh good, that's working. Jimmy, what's it like to be slim? He definitely can't hear me.
Gordon: Jimmy, don't eat my fingers.
Andrew: Feels like chicken, tastes like chicken...
Gordon: So, what is it?
Andrew: Chicken.
Jimmy: It tasted like a meat tortellini with a bit of sweated onions in the background.
Gordon: Jesus Christ! [Gordon doubles over, contestants chuckle] That was chicken, you twat!
Jimmy: Uh, okay.
Elsie: Tortellini, where in the fuck does he get tortellini from?
[During Michael and Ralph's tasting of sweetbreads]
Gordon: What is it Ralph?
Ralph: Beef with fat, chef.
Gordon: Sweetbreads.
Ralph: Ahhh... That's beef and fatty!
Gordon: [to Michael] What was that?
Michael: It's something awful, man. Something from a cow that I shouldn't be eating. It tastes like a brain or something like that. I don't know. [Gordon laughs]

[The Blue Team's storeroom has been locked for tonight's service. Once they unlock it and take the chickens out, Andrew tries to tape the latch of the door right when Scott passes by.]
Scott Leibfried: What are you doing? Get that fucking tape off of there. Now get the fuck back in there! You think I'm fucking stupid?! I'm not stupid like you. Come here. You fucking guys fuck it up, and you get a punishment you don't fucking break it so it works for you. You blew it, pay the consequences! Got it?
Andrew: Yes, chef.
Scott Leibfried: Why don't you try being as serious as these people are on your team instead of being a jerk? [takes the chickens back into the storeroom]
Ralph: Chef, I'm going to break those down right now.
Scott Leibfried: No you're not, because Andrew just ruined it for you because he was taping the door. When you need them you got to come in here and get one.

[Diners ordered from both kitchens, meaning they had to deliver their entrées together, but the blue team was lagging behind and caused diners at the same table to not receive their food at the same time]
Gordon: Service? [sees Andrew wiping his forehead] Five covers-don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare. Five covers, Table 1: One pear salad, one agnolotti. Main course: One chicken, one halibut. Desserts pickup please.
Jessica: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Can you not just see, Andrew, right now, what's going on? When I'm talking out and reading an order out, let me read the order out, then you say. What is the matter?
Andrew: I need six minutes on the hotplate for the halibut; they're not cooking fast enough. I don't wanna give you raw fish, chef.
Gordon: Hello, young man?
Andrew: Yes, chef.
Gordon: I'm trying to expedite both kitchens together and this is turning out to be a nightmare. If I say it's three minutes to the hotplate, then it's three minutes to the hotplate, okay?
Andrew: (interview) It wasn't difficult to poach the halibut. It just wasn't about to get done in four minutes. It just was—it's not chemically possible to cook that halibut in four minutes, bottom line. Science doesn't allow it!

[Ralph and Andrew are up for elimination]
Gordon: Andrew.
Andrew: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Andrew: [referring to Ralph's halibut dish that was put on the blue team's menu] I don't take responsibility for that dish. I can't walk out of here for the wrong reasons.
Ralph: You know what? Andrew was responsible for preparing that dish. That halibut required three ingredients to be spot-on. But I would think that he would've cared more about the dish previous to service than to figure it out during it.
Gordon: [pause] Well, I think it's really important that you're both honest, because I'm standing here fucking confused.
Andrew: Jess brought up a good point of being a team player–having a team and working within that team–and I have to tell you the honest truth that right now, I feel like I'm on the Ralph team. And that's not a good feeling because I don't feel like I'm able to put myself in there and show myself and prove it! Because that dish wasn't me, it wasn't mine, it wasn't what I wanted. If I had served what I wanted, you know what, Jessica may not have had to make that decision whatsoever tonight.
Ralph: [to Gordon] Chef, I never asked for it to become, as Andrew says, "Ralph's team." However, the team led a burden of work to be put on my shoulders. I prepared the dishes that I had to prepare today, two of the appetizers, two of the desserts. I executed 23 of the entrées, I did my job. No shortcuts, no crying, just doing it like a pro. I am strong in the kitchen–stronger than Andrew–and from there, you make your call.
Andrew: Can I say one more thing?
Gordon: You know, from the first day I met you, Andrew, you're not the kind of big-headed, arrogant little twat that likes to be steamrolled. Now you're telling me that Ralph manipulated your dish into becoming a poached halibut?
Andrew: Chef, it's like I said—
Gordon: Andrew, give me your jacket.
[Andrew gives his jacket to Gordon, then waves to the red team and gives Ralph and Jessica hugs good-bye]
Jessica: Take care.
Andrew: You, too. (interview) Maybe, I wasn’t as successful in the kitchen, but I gotta tell you, I think I had more integrity tonight. I spoke for myself, I stood up for myself, you know, and I... I said what needed to be said.

Episode Seven [1.07][edit]

Gordon: Jimmy, You won the challenge yesterday. You get to decide the person who will be serving the Caesar salad and fruit flambé tableside.
Jimmy: Oh, Jesus.
Gordon: Sorry, who was that? Jesus? No. [contestants laugh]
Ralph: He didn't make it to the final five.
Gordon: Jimmy.
Jimmy: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Right now.
Jimmy: [pause] Since Elsie was the second best, I'll choose her.

Gordon: Jess, while you want to give a big attitude, I've got to go back out there and fucking tell him. Unfold your fucking arms right now, and don't dare start getting fucking chippy or lippy or fucking pissy with me.
Jessica: I'm not, chef.
Gordon: We've got a massive problem now, and we've got no fucking filet steak!
Jessica: Okay.
Gordon: I've got twenty-seven on order. How many of you got?
Jessica: I... listen, I'm trying to tell you, Scott put them back there.
Jessica: Two!
Gordon: Two?! I hope you're fucking joking! Can I just send this food here? Get back on your section and talk to me!
Jessica: I sent it! [raising her arms]
Gordon: Hey, hello!
Jessica: I'm trying to talk to you!
Gordon: What's this?! [raises arms in a mocking gesture] GET BACK ON YOUR SECTION!
Jessica: I'm here.
Gordon: Okay, then. Hello, missy, what do you suggest for the twenty-seven filets on order? [Michael walks out of the blue kitchen]
Jessica: What I'm trying to suggest, chef, is that they must be somewhere here, and I'm gonna go try to find them.
Gordon: Okay, well, disappear and fucking look for them, then!
[Cut to the storeroom, where Michael opens a fridge]
Gordon: [to Jessica] But do you know what?! Hello! It's the way you just don't care about it! The way everything's just—
Jessica: I do care about it!
Gordon: You're not even sweating, you're walking around, you're like this. [mockingly raises his arms again]
Jessica: I do! I'm really upset about it!
Gordon: You're upset? Oh, fuck off!
Jessica: Oh, come on.
[Jessica leaves the kitchen when Michael comes back with more filets]
Michael: Chef, I got steaks.
Gordon: Yeah, well, get her. Where is she?
Ralph: She's gonna come back on the line. I got it.
Gordon: Unbelievable. [throws towel] What a fucking pile of idiots.

Gordon: [to Jimmy] Where's your risotto? [Jimmy ignores him] No answer. Where's the—
Jimmy: I—I don't have it on. I'm getting it on now.
Gordon: Oh, my God almighty. [crouches down and facepalms]
Jimmy: I'll—I'll get it for you, chef. I'll have it ready.
Gordon: Fuck me! It's the customers, big boy!
Jimmy: I'll have it ready for the customer in two and a half minutes.
Gordon: Jimmy, are you enjoying this right now?!
Jimmy: No.
Jimmy: I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: Jimmy, it's gotta relax on there. Why are you putting that sauce on there, why are you putting chicken stock on there?
Jimmy: It's, uh, fish stock.
Gordon: Why are you putting that over there like that?
Jimmy: It—it's not—It doesn't—
Gordon: I saw you over there, I saw you going—
Jimmy: I did do it!
Gordon: Hey, hey, listen, listen. Don't fucking start shouting your fat mouth at me. Hey—Hey look at me. So I'm asking you why you're putting fucking fish stock on a fucking risotto! GET IT OFF! Because I think it's a bit bizarre that you finished it and you get a ladle of fish stock like that and you put it over the risotto! So I'm asking you and you refuse to tell me! THEN, you will open your fat fucking mouth! So why is it on there?
Jimmy: I'm sorry, chef.

Gordon: Why isn't the fish in the pan? [Jimmy doesn't respond] Why isn't the fish—
Jimmy: I'M TRYING TO FUCKING DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME! What do you want me to do?!
Gordon: Come here, you. Come here, you.
Jimmy: No!
Gordon: What do you mean no?
Jimmy: I'm trying to do both at the same time.
Gordon: Just calm down. Just calm fucking down.
Jimmy: I'm trying to do both at the same time.
Gordon: Are you about to crack?
Jimmy: No.
Gordon: Don't fucking shout at me. What are you going to do?
Jimmy: I'm going to stay and finish.
Gordon: Calm down—while I'm standing here pissed off—what about those fucking customers there then?
Jimmy: I'm trying for them.
Gordon: Right. Talk to me properly or fuck off! Is that clear?
Jimmy: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Right. Is the fish in the pan?
Jimmy: No, chef.
Gordon: Get it in the pan!
Jimmy: Yes.
Gordon: [sees Jessica's pan catching fire] Oh, fuck's sake! Jessica, what are you doing? Shut it down, yes? [the remaining chefs groan] Yeah, and I'm going to tell you why I'm going to shut it down, okay? Because two individuals let me down here tonight, you (Jimmy) were one of them and you (Jessica) were the other one. And you think that is bad, I'll tell you what, if you'll ever going to to make it. You'll have to take a lot more pressure than that. Shut it down. [to Jean-Philippe] Tell the customers, I'm closing the place down.

Episode Eight [1.08][edit]

[Michael, Ralph, and Jessica rant about Elsie getting a live television reward while they prep the kitchen]
Michael: Next challenge, we should all make chicken soup.
Jessica: Yeah, um... Don't get me pissed off about it again, Michael.
Michael: Sewer water soup.
Ralph: With the bone in it.
Jessica: Yeah, with the bone on it, soggy wet in the soup. Sounds fucking appetizing. Should've made her (Elsie) eat one of those things.
Ralph: Oh, snap! (interview) Right now, while Elsie's over at the studio making hob-nobbin with everybody over there, we're putting the axe to the grind. Myself, Jessica, and Michael are all doing the work of five people as three. [to Michael and Jessica] Are you gonna make a risotto now? She's on TV, and I'm cooking a risotto.
Michael: You gonna carry her tonight?
Ralph: Nope. [chuckles]
Michael: (interview) You know, me and Ralph sort of joked about, like, not carrying Elsie because a lot of people have been doing a lot of stuff for her. The truth is, which station you're at, you're freaking responsible for that. So, tonight is definitely "put up or shut up" for Elsie.
Ralph: Good Day Live! Ugh, it's killing me now!
Jessica: Yeah, I should've won it, Ralph. If you look at what I made... I won.
Ralph: You're killing me, Jess. Hey, Jess, what are you gonna do if Elsie's in the weeds tonight in the garnish station?
Jessica: If what?
Ralph: Elsie's in the weeds in the garnish station.
Jessica: Nothing. [Ralph laughs]

Gordon: [Jean-Philippe enters the kitchen] Right. Hello! Come here now, yeah? Yes Elsie, you're pissed off, you should see what's going through my mind right now. [to Jean-Philippe] How many tables have walked out?
Jean-Philippe: Two tables, chef.
Gordon: I'm not going to agonise the pain any longer and if you think I'm going to stand here for the next hour, busting a gut, to get the filet, to get the halibut, then to get the veg, then to get the chicken without the sauce, then to get the sauce without the chicken, BANG! I've had enough! Shut it down!

Episode Nine [1.09][edit]

Gordon: [on making a soufflé] When they work, it's a dream come true. But when they don't work, it's a huge disappointment.

Ralph: (interview) When we saw these last five tickets counted down. It was like the countdown to the new millenium.

[Michael is on the pass on Chef Ramsay's leadership test]
Gordon: (interview) Michael, he hadn't said anything to any of his team, then all of a sudden he put his head down and he turned 'round at them and said...
Michael Wray: You guys cook like old people fuck!
Gordon: (interview) And I thought, "My God! That came out of the blue." You know, I wouldn't expect something like that to come out of his mouth.
Scott Leibfried: Yes, chef!
Maryann: Thank you, chef.
[Chef Ramsay laughs]

[Ralph is on the pass on Chef Ramsay's leadership test]
Narrator: With Ralph excelling at the pass, Michael is looking to expose any weaknesses Ralph may have.
Michael Wray: [quietly, to Scott] Trying to see how many can go without having crab in them.
Scott Leibfried: What the fuck are you talking about?
Michael Wray: My risottos. (interview) I wanted to make risottos the whole night without crab. I was just seeing what I could slip past Ralph tonight.
Gordon: Ralph, you have to taste.
Ralph: I tasted it.
Michael Wray: (interview) In my head I was just sort of laughing like I can't believe he's letting them go like that.
Ralph: Uh, Jean-Pierre? Away please table 34?
Gordon: Jean-Philippe
Jean-Philippe: (interview) He keeps on calling me "Jean-Pierre". My name is Jean-Philippe, I've been working now for so many weeks with the man and he keeps on calling me "Jean-Pierre", I mean, I'm gonna kill him.
Narrator: Ralph failed to notice that the crab risotto is missing the crab.
Female Diner: What kind of risotto is that?
Male Diner: It's like, mushroom and crab but there's no crab.

[Michael, Ralph and Jessica have successfully completed dinner service]
Gordon: Okay, well done. Bloody well done. First time ever in Hell's Kitchen, we have completed a fully booked dining room. Starters, mains and desserts. You three did it. [high fives the three chefs] Team, team and team. And last night, none of us had any sleep. 24 hours virtually. And do you know the most important thing about tonight's service? Did you see any food come back?
Michael Wray: No way.
Gordon: No. Did you see any dishes come back? No, nothing. And do you know the most exciting thing for me from a chef's point of view? Every dish looked the same. Spot on. Well done. I am a very proud man.

Episode Ten [1.10] (Two Hour Finale)[edit]

[Jean Philippe and Ralph are discussing waitstaff uniforms for Ralph's restaurant.]
Ralph: Men are men and women are women and there's no reason to dress them alike.
Jean-Philippe: No... Do you want the ladies to wear some black panties?
Ralph: Excuse me? Leggings? Uh, panty hose?
Jean-Philippe: Mm-hmm, you have to think about those things, I tell you.

Jean-Philippe: Ralph?
Ralph: Hey, Jean-Pierre. How are you? Jean-Pierre?
Jean-Philippe: If you call me one more time "Jean-Pierre," I'm gonna kill you.

Dewberry: This bass...is full of fucking love. [to Ralph] Chef, that is love. For you.
Ralph: Thank you, sir.
Dewberry: You're welcome!
Ralph: You are a rock today, aren't you, Dewberry?
Dewberry: Yes, chef!
Ralph: You are Gibraltar, you are the hope diamond!
Dewberry: I'd rather you be saying I was Brad Pitt's wife!
[Ralph and Gordon laugh]
Ralph: He's got issues.

Gordon: Ralph was great tonight. But Michael deserved to win because his creativity and standards are simply on a higher level. And I accomplished my goal of turning an unknown into a master chef. And that has to be the perfect way to close Hell's Kitchen tonight. And I'm fucking out of here!