How Clean is Your House?

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How Clean is Your House? is a British entertainment/lifestyle television programme in which expert cleaners Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie visit filthy homes and then clean them.

Kim-Oh the dirty Beggar!
Aggie-I don't know the point of having a bath is?
Kim-Years of scum, skin, saliva, mucus!
Narrator(UK)- That must be a distant memory!
Kim-Flaming Nora!
Narrator(UK)-A year ago Kim and Aggie took fright at the bird lady.
Aggie-The smell!
Aggie-What is that smell is like a farmyard!
Kim-Looks like a hellhole!
Aggie-It's the rubbish tip!
(Note)-"rubbish tip" means "garbage dump"
Kim-The place stinks!
Narrator(UK)-Kim's ready to ruffle her feathers.
Narrator(USA)- This bedroom is rated X, Extremely Nasty!
Kim-This carpet's bright!
Kim-What a lovely dishcloth!
Kim-Why can't I get it with me nails?
Aggie-Look at the cooker!
Aggie-There's mouse droppings in the cutlery drawer!
Narrator(USA)-It's not just the snitch of the stable that Kim and Aggie are about to encounter!
Kim-Oh, in the name of heaven!
Kim-It smells like pee-pee.
Aggie-What is that?
Kim-What is wrong with this man?
Aggie-Look, the week's dishes!
Aggie-Lordy, Lordy look at this!
Narrator(UK)-Nothing is Sacred!
Aggie-There's no life in it.
Aggie-Look,at the Bacon!
Aggie-How could you sit in that seat and eat your dinner?
Aggie-Cup of tea anyone?
Kim-What lungs, What lungs?
Kim-No time for cleaning, but there's anytime for reading!
Kim-It's in inch, thick!
Aggie-Two German cockroaches.
Kim-French perfume,French perfume please!
Kim-This is absolutely vile.
Aggie-Black mould in the bedroom? Are they mad?
Kim-Look it all down here, Ag!
Kim-It's an utter hovel!
Aggie-Dear me, girl!
Aggie-It's absolutely squalid in here!
Kim-We're standing in a giant plamy birdcage!
Narrator(UK)-Screaming, already?
Kim-God help us!
Kim-How could you not pretend this isn't happening?
Aggie-This isn't bad at all!
Aggie-Kim, overkill surely?
Kim-I think he's peeing in the sink!
Aggie-That is wild!
Kim-What it she brews up while she's on the loo?
Narrator(UK)-Well, There's no fresh air to be found here!
Aggie-Is this a shopping trolley?
Kim-It's awful!
Kim-Look, flies! Hundreds of little beggars!
Aggie-Time is just too still in this place.
Aggie-Bloody Hell!
Kim-Best be having you rapple those mops.
Narrator-Birds and cleaning chemicals just don't mix.(UK)
Aggie-Look at the flaming phone!
Kim-Mouldy Lights!That's the colour it should be!
Aggie-Lovely Doggie, I think this is the source of our smell.
Aggie-How is this driving you crazy?
Kim-She's a comic cut,isn't she?
Narrator(UK)-It's a brave who takes the walk of shame.
Aggie-Time to get cleaning I think!
(Note) Kim's reactions are not recorded in this page.

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