L.A. Noire

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L.A. Noire is a PS3, Xbox 360, and PC game developed by Team Bondi, set in 1940s Los Angeles. The game revolves around the journey of an L.A.P.D. detective named Cole Phelps, as he rises the ranks of his job and descends into the underworld of the City of Angels. But as the story progresses, it is revealed that Phelps might be trying to atone for his actions during World War II, actions that may come back to haunt him.

Cole Phelps[edit]

  • (Last words) Goodbye.
  • (Directed at Roy Earle) I can assure you I'm no war hero, detective.
  • It never gets any easier, Bekowski.
  • (To Elsa Lichtmann) Sometimes surviving isn't enough, Elsa...sometimes you just have to...try and make the world a better place.
  • Friends who want to stay friends don't discuss religion or politics. In my case you can add the war to that.
  • (To himself while examining a dead body) They're never the same, are they?
  • Spill it, or we take you into the back-alley and knock it out of you!
  • (To a 23-year old jazz-singer who died of a morphine overdose.) They say only the good die young. I hope it was true in your case.
  • (To an Argentinean diplomat with homosexual, ephebophilic tendencies) You fuck young boys, Valdez?

Roy Earle[edit]

  • Johnny, here, has the biggest schlong in all of Hollywood, and the smallest gun. Or maybe it's the other way around, I forget.
  • (To a Latino character) Save it for the D.A., Chico.
  • I hate seeing how things are made. This is just like that time I went to a slaughterhouse and couldn't eat steak for a week.
  • Oh, god, this is turning into a nightmare school field trip flashback.
  • You're loving this, aren't you, Phelps?
  • I'm glad to be out of that place. I never knew fresh vegetables could smell so bad.
  • (To Phelps when he allows an English boxer to escape arrest) Fuck you! That English prick is getting away with my money, Phelps!
  • That was a tax-paying citizen you just bounced off the fucking hood, Phelps!
  • Everyone has their vices... even you, Phelps.
  • Every politician in America is against prostitution except when they're using them.
  • Alright, let's just get this over with before I actually have to work overtime, instead of just claiming it.
  • From a little acorn does a large tree grow.
  • (Directed at Cole Phelps) Don't do anything I wouldn't do, partner.
  • (Directed at a drug dealer) Sit tight, asshole. Pretend you're at the parlor getting your nails done.
  • (At Cole Phelps' funeral) We're gathered here to honour Detective Cole Phelps. Cole Phelps was the best kind of man. A war hero who lead his men with true valour, and, through his personal bravery, achieved one of his country's highest honours. A cop, wrongly accused, who never lost his faith in the LAPD and the system. A detective who fought to expose the evil corruption of the murderous Dr. Fontaine, and rapacious property tycoon Leland Monroe. A reformer who recognised the need to remove the odd bad apple from a department made up of good men. A man who never gave up, who continued to fight the good fight... the fight that cost him his own life. A good husband, a good father, and, may I say, a good friend.

Herschel Biggs[edit]

  • You know, there are times when you really miss a nightstick. There's more religion in the end of a nightstick than in a hundred cathedrals.
  • (When a police officer refuses to shake Cole Phelps' hand) Don't worry, his name may be dogshit, but there's none on his hands.
  • (Directed at Phelps when he tries to make conversation with Biggs) Feeling down, hotshot? Need a buddy? Well look somewhere else.
  • (Being visibly disturbed after seeing a burned body crumple in front of him) "EVIDENCE!" (He runs out of the room.)

Jack Kelso[edit]

  • One thing you learn in the war boys: you do your talking once the smoke clear!
  • (Directed at Cole Phelps) Courage isn't just a tap you can turn on and off whenever you want it to. Courage isn't a permanence. Courage is a tenuous and fickle thing. Courage and cowardice exist in every man, get over it.


Cole: [after Biggs bumped into his shoulder] What's his problem?
Police Officer: That's Biggs. He's an institution.

Cole: We're about to visit Elysian Fields Development.
McKelty: You're about to do what? Leland Monroe, he's a personal friend of the Mayor and the Chief. Are you out of your mind? I'm warning you, Phelps.

Earle: Buy me a drink, Cole?
Cole: No!
Earle: Not even for old times' sake?
Cole: Not even for that.

Biggs: You were never his (Cole's) friend, Jack.
Jack: I guess you're right. Herschel?
Biggs: Yeah, Jack?
Jack: I was never his enemy.
Biggs: I think he knew that, Jack.

Earle: The truth is everyone wants the license to get a little dirty now and again; our job is to keep it manageable.
Phelps: That's how you see it?
Earle: See it any other way and you better forget about being a vice cop.

Earle: What's with that get-up of yours? I should start introducing us as 'Detective Earle and this is my science teacher, Mr. Phelps.'
Phelps: Your interest in my appearance is starting to get me worrying.
Earle: Like it or not, we're a dysfunctional couple now, and people judge me with you on my arm the same way they would a fat broad with a case of five o'clock shadow.
Phelps: I really hope you're joking, Roy.

[Phelps and his assistant are trying to solve a case. The Coroner finds a prop head.]
Coroner: A head I found without a body seemed to pique my interest. [Gives the head to Phelps] See what you think.
Phelps: [Chuckles] "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio."

Phelps: You're kidding!
Carruthers: I've been doing this for 22 years, not one person has laughed at any of my jokes.

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