Somebody offered me a drink. I liked it, so I had another. Only one hand is needed to hold a glass, so I took up smoking to give the other something to do. I took to dueling and from there it was only a small step to gambling. I bought a fighting cock. I bought a bear. I bought a dwarf. I began to frequent tailors and whores. From champagne I move to whiskey, from whiskey to wine, and from wine to Sterno. So it went until the only libation I had not drunk was blood, the only sex untried was squalid, and the only vice untested was violent revolution. Every step downward was pleasant. Every new experience filled me with disdain for those who did not share in it. And so, here I am.