MacGruber (film)

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MacGruber is a 2010 SNL action-comedy film.

The Ultimate Tool (taglines)


  • I'm in.
  • If ripping throats gets that warhead back, I'll suck as many dicks as I've go— I'll rip as many throats as I have to!
  • You're loco, man!
    • Subtited: You're crazy, man!
  • Never ever say 'never ever'.
  • Pound some Cunth.
  • I got a better idea, no fucking way!
  • I bet you wish your nose was a dick so you could fuck butts!
  • Classic Macgruber
  • That was fuckin' tits
  • Just tell me what you want me to fuck!


Vicki: I'm a virgin.
MacGruber: Not for long.

MacGruber: I just took an upper-decker in the master bathroom.
Vicki: Upper-decker?
MacGruber: Yeah, it's where you take a shit in the water tank and not the bowl- You look great.

MacGruber: Don't worry we got your back. We're only seven blocks away. So if anything goes down-
Vicki: Seven blocks?
MacGruber: [laughing] Okay, you got me. About twenty blocks.
Vicki: Wasn't there anything closer?
MacGruber: Nope.
Dixon: There were tons of spots closer.
MacGruber: Yeah! With meters!

[MacGruber is trying to defuse a nuclear warhead]
Vicki: Can you defuse it?
MacGruber: Are you kidding me? Look at all this crap! There's like a million wires in here. I'm more like a three wire guy!

[Vicki and MacGruber are driving away from an assassination attempt, believing Dixon, who is in the back to be dead]
Vicki: Is he dead?!
MacGruber: YES! HE'S DEAD!
[Dixon gets up]
Dixon: Jesus...
Dixon: How did you know I was wearing a bulletproof vest?
MacGruber: You were wearing a bulletproof vest? ... Awesome!

Vicki: [dressed like MacGruber] If you're the one they want to come after why can't you be dressed like you?
MacGruber: are!

Dixon: [using a phone tracer] Now remember, MacGruber. You gotta keep him on the line long enough to get a location.
MacGruber: Don't worry, I've done this before. [to the phone] Now listen to me you piece of sh- he hung up. Did you get it?
Vicki: No.
MacGruber: Damn it! Is that thing working?


  • The Ultimate Tool
  • Do Not Underestimate This Man


External links[edit]

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