[To his father] If you rise up and show that your not afraid...those people...will no longer have control over your lives.
[On the School TV] Attention, students, this is Max Keeble speaking. First, I'd like to say to my friends, Megan and Robe, that I, I know that I acted like a jerk, and I'm sorry for ever getting you involved in this. I screwed up, but you guys are my best friends, and that's forever. I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. Probably doesn't matter to you anymore, but I'm not moving. [Jindrake: Keeble!] And McGinty and Dobbs. It's me you want, so leave my friends alone. I may have run before, but I am all through running now. You want me, I'll be at the parking lot, 3:00.
[To Jindraike] I'm not a criminal. People who do crimes are criminals, like you.
[To Ms. Dingman] If you're ever in the windy city, [Kisses her hand] look me up. Anything.
And now, an announcement from your principal. This is Principal Jindrake. All students will report to the assembly hall during third period for a special presentation. Attendance is mandatory. All must attend. Not attending is prohibited. That is all. Thank you.
This Thursday, Superintendent Knebworth will be here to inspect the school. And so I am upgrading my policy of zero tolerance to one of...sub-zero tolerance, which is more than zero.
And now, without any further ado...what's that I hear? The pitter-patter of little feet? Allow me to introduce to you the newest addition to the Curtis Junior High School Cottontails! Three foreign exchange students from Eastern Europe and their names are...unimportant because they're here to lead us to gridiron glory! Why, all they need is a place to play! Students, I give you your new football stadium!
I've got my eye on you, Max Keeble. You're on my list.
You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarky. I don't encourage it. I ex-courage it. It means the opposite of encourage. Look it up. And so, young man, remember, study rhymes with buddy. Scram.
I don't care what you want me to do. The smelly goat will never get my car! Ever!
I'm closing down the shelter, silly boy!
And let me just remind the citizens of Curtis Junior High that we are now T-minus...several hours until the Superintendent Knebworth visit. That is all. Thank you.
Who? Who started this? If the culprit does not step forward this instant, swift and horrible retribution awaits each and every one of you!
[To a young boy in the hallway] Oh, stop smiling! This isn't a Happy Place! [Knocks the boy's books to the ground]
Because of yesterday's crimes against the school, instigated by your former classmate, Max Keeble, the following extracurricular activities are now suspended: Art! Music! P.E.! Fun!! Suspended! Discontinued! Defunct!!
[To Max] You're a smart little boy...[leans forward] but so am I.
[To Max] I'm going to meet out a punishment to you that is so severe that future generations will refer to it as...The Keeble.
Dobbs: Keeble! Caught your act in the assembly! Looks like you could use some help with managing your portfolio.
Max Keeble: Hey, that's my lunch money!
Dobbs: And you have it all in cash. Kid, let me hold this for a while and I'll set you up with a nice mutual fund.
[after Max just escaped the evil ice cream man, he arrives at Jenna's. Jenna is on her swing and walks up to Max]
Jenna: What took you so long?
Max: Stopped to get an ice cream.
Principal Jindrake: What is the meaning of this?
Max Keeble: Hey, I didn't do that!
Principal Jindrake: So you want to save the filthy little beasts, eh? Perhaps you want me to give the animals my car. Do you want me to give my car to the smelly goat?
Max Keeble: Goats don't drive, sir.
Principal Jindrake: I don't care what you want me to do! The smelly goat will never get my car! Ever!
Max Keeble: The animals have nowhere to go. Some creep's closing down the shelter.
Principal Jindrake: I'm closing down the shelter, silly boy!
Max Keeble: What?!
Principal Jindrake: All I need now is the right bulldozer. I'm thinking big and yellow. Where did you think I was going to build Knebworth stadium, in your house? Ha, ha! Your house! That's rich! There wouldn't be room!
Max Keeble: Whoa.
Principal Jindrake: So the second teacher says, "I agree. That's why they call it a lounge." Ha. Well, here we are in the Curtis Junior High library.
Superintendent Knebworth: Hmm. Smallish.
Principal Jindrake: Yes, but we're biggish on books...especially sports books. In fact, the one we're waiting for is Crazy Legs: The Bobby Knebworth Story.
(Max is distracted seeing his crush, Jenna, when he gets hit by the door and falls to the ground. Jenna walks up to him)
Jenna: Are you okay?
Max: (straining) Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. (picks himself up)
Jenna: You look kind of familiar.
Max: I deliver your paper. Um, I'm Max, Jenna.
Jenna: Oh, yeah. So you go to school here now?
Max: You play the clarinet.
Jenna: (show her clarinet case) First chair.
Max: I'm in band, too. I play the bassoon.
Jenna: Hmm. Well, I'll see you later.
Max: I'll see you, uh, bassoon.
(Jenna turns and gives him a sweet smile)
Max: (embarrassed) "See you bassoon"? Ugh! Stupid.
(Max just leaves class after insulting his teacher he passes Jenna and her friend the hallway)
Max: Well, hello, sweetheart.
(Jenna and her friend turn and Jenna smiles at Max)
(Max is on his way to Megan's house when he sees Jenna leaving her house)
Jenna: Hey, Max.
Max: Hi, Jenna.
Jenna: Do you want to hang out? I'm meeting some friends at Buddies.
Max: You know what? I actually gotta kinda be somewhere.
Jenna: Oh, come on. Stay for one milk shake. It'll be fun.
(Jenna bends down to him and smiles sweetly)
Jenna: One milkshake.
Max: You know what? Okay. All right. One...milkshake.
(As Max and Jenna head to Buddies, Jenna wraps her arm around Max)