Mike Resnick
Mike Resnick (March 5, 1942 – January 9, 2020) was an American science fiction writer and editor. Resnick was nominated for 37 Hugo Awards and won five times; he won one Nebula Award from eleven nominations.
Quotes
[edit]Short fiction
[edit]- See Mike Resnick's Internet Science Fiction Database page for original publication details
- All quotes from the e-book edition, published by UFO Publishing, no ISBN, no page numbers
- He mumbles something that wouldn’t make any sense even if he was saying it clearly.
- Visitors’ Night at Joey Chicago’s
- She is unique, even among women, who are all unique, each in their own alien way.
- A Very Special Girl
- “He has willpower to spare,” I say. “Unfortunately, what he lacks is won’tpower.”
- A Weighty Affair
- “It is an honest wager on an honest fight between two evenly-matched masters of the fistic arts,” says Pedro.
“Who would have believed it?” says Benny.
“Believed what?” asks Pedro.
“You manage to cram five lies into an eighteen-word sentence,” answers Benny.- The Kid at Midnight
- “Let’s be reasonable,” suggests Bet-a-Bunch Murphy, which I personally think would make a pleasant change.
- The Evening Line
- Benny shakes his head. “This is America, Lamont,” he says.
“America’s out there somewhere!” growls Lamont, waving his hand toward the door. “This is Manhattan.”- The Mayoral Stakes
- “Enough screaming and yelling!” he yells. “I expect you to behave with some decorum. After all, this is a bar, not City Hall.”
- The Mayoral Stakes
- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition published by Signet Books, ISBN 0-451-11848-0, first printing
- The mind discerns and decides, and the heart vetoes. It is a very inefficient system.
- Chapter 6 (p. 48)
- If nothing else, money buys you a higher class of woman.
- Chapter 7 (p. 59)
- “Is it true?”
“Probably. But just for the record, is what true?”- Chapter 9 (p. 86)
- “I don’t believe you.”
“What you believe is of no importance to me.”- Chapter 10 (p. 92)
- “It is a world of bitter extremes of climate and a totalitarian theocracy.”
“That he believes in,” said Thaddeus.
“Believing in his religion makes it no less oppressive,” said Albert emotionlessly.- Chapter 10 (p. 95)
- Nobody reaches a position of authority without the ability to be a back-stabbing bastard when the chips are down.
- Chapter 11 (p. 103)
- “Maybe things are different on his world.”
“As near as I can tell, there’s one basic law anywhere you go in the universe: the strong eat the weak.”- Chapter 11 (p. 103)
- It was an art form, and you don’t learn to be an artist. You’re either born one, or you aren’t.
- Chapter 11 (p. 111)
The Three-Legged Hootch Dancer (1983)
[edit]- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition published by Signet Books, ISBN 0-451-12082-5, first printing
- Italics as in the book
- “I’ve revised my opinion,” he announced.
“About what?” asked Mr. Ahasuerus.
“About how long it’s going to take Man to conquer the galaxy once he figures out how to travel to the stars.” Flint took a long swallow of his beer and wiped his mouth off with a sweaty shirtsleeve. “I give us three weeks, tops.” He paused again. “That’s twenty days to decide whether it’s worth the effort, and one afternoon to pull it off.”- Chapter 3 (pp. 17-18)
- “Procyon III does have a gravity identical to Earth’s,” said Mr. Ahasuerus apologetically.
“I suspect it’s also about as heavily populated as Saskatchewan.”
“I am unacquainted with that location,” said the blue man.
“So is everyone else.”- Chapter 3 (p. 18)
- I was so average, Tojo. Even after I stopped being fat I was just an average girl with average parents and average grades and average friends. I was always afraid I was going to have an average husband and sleep with him 3.4 times a week and have 2.2 children.
- Chapter 5 (p. 43)
- “Nothing personal,” Mr. Ahasuerus, replied Flint, “but what the hell do you know about it? Your entire experience has been with a carny crew. The next normal human you meet will be the first.”
- Chapter 6 (p. 46)
- Gloria, the world—hell, the whole damned universe—is divided into just two groups: meat eaters and meat. It has been my experience that the former never feels sorry for the latter.
- Chapter 9 (p. 79)
- The doctors told told me there would be some pain involved. Hah! When a surgeon suggest that you might feel a bit of mild discomfort, you can bet your bottom dollar you’re about to undergo the agony of the damned.
- Chapter 16 (p. 140)
The Wild Alien Tamer (1983)
[edit]- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition published by Signet Books, ISBN 0-451-12390-5, first printing
- “Did you not ever want to see what was beyond the next hill, what strange and unique civilizations lay beyond your own?”
“Until I got there,” answered Monk.- Chapter 3 (p. 35)
- “You have no moral compunctions about it?” persisted Batman.
“Hell, no,” replied Monk. “As Thaddeus says, if God didn’t want them fleeced, He wouldn’t have made ’em sheep. Words to live by, once you become a carny.”- Chapter 3 (p. 40)
- “You’re a very cynical man, Mr. Flint.”
“That’s one of the reasons you’re on the road to becoming a very rich man, Mr. Ahasuerus.”- Chapter 6 (p. 64)
- “Don’t worry,” said Monk. “It’ll be a cakewalk.”
“Cakes don’t walk, Jupiter,” said Flint. “They fall.”- Chapter 8 (p. 86)
- “A very reasonable attitude,” said Mr. Ahasuerus.
“That’s probably why it’s so rare around here,” said Flint.- Chapter 14 (p. 129)
- You don’t look at a man and decide that he’s sane at three-eighteen on a Tuesday afternoon and mad as a hatter at three-nineteen. People don’t make it that easy for you.
- Chapter 16 (pp. 154-155)
- The Carnies’ First Commandment is that you never offend a mark until he’s spent all his money.
- Chapter 17 (p. 158)
- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition published by Signet Books, ISBN 0-451-12523-1, first printing
- “He has wealth, and fame, and security, and everything he ever wanted,” persisted Mr. Ahasuerus. “Why should he be unhappy?”
“Maybe because he’s got wealth and fame and security and everything he ever wanted,” replied the Dancer.- Chapter 3 (p. 31)
- He opened a desk drawer and withdrew two gaily wrapped packages. Then, standing up, he carried one over to Flint and handed the other to Tojo.
“What’s this all about?” asked Flint.
“I realize that we haven’t celebrated any of your holidays since leaving Earth,” explained the blue man, “but according to my calendar, today is the last Thursday in November.”
“So?”
“Happy Thanksgiving! said Mr. Ahasuerus, contorting his lips to form a smile.
There was a momentary silence.
“I’m afraid you’ve got it all wrong,” said Flint. On Thanksgiving we slaughter innocent birds and forget to abuse Indians. Christmas is when we defoliate forests and exchange gifts.”- Chapter 6 (pp. 58-59)
- “It is the home of a very unusual race, as violent in their way as the people of Earth.”
“I will assume that’s a good thing to be,” said Flint dryly.
“For the purpose of this proposition, it most definitely is,” said Kargennian, ignoring Flint’s undisguised animosity. “They have a culture that worships weaponry fully as much as yours does.”
“I don’t know that we actually worship it.”
“Perhaps I used the wrong word,” replied Kargennian. “But the fact remains that their history and cultures are as fully committed to firearms as your own. To this day, most of them carry hand weapons, as barbaric as the concept may seem.”- Chapter 9 (p. 84)
- “You’re going to find this hard to believe, but I don’t give a damn about the money,” answered Flint.
“‘Hard’ is an understatement,” said Mr. Ahasuerus. “I find it impossible to believe.”- Chapter 9 (p. 85)
- “There is nothing worse than a meaningless death.”
Flint smiled a bittersweet smile. “I envy you for thinking so.”- Chapter 9 (p. 86)
- “He didn’t seem to mind his people being fleeced so much after I slapped him a couple of thousand credits,” remarked Flint wryly. “I guess death and taxes aren’t the only constants in the universe.”
- Chapter 10 (p. 96)
- “What’s your secret, Mr. Flint?” asked Jiminy with a smile.
“The two greatest aphrodisiacs in the universe,” answered Flint easily. “Money and power.” He paused. “A hell of a lot of rhinos could’ve kept their horns if people had just looked at things the way they are, instead of the way they’d like them to be.”- Chapter 11 (p. 109)
- “I’ve always wanted what people told me I couldn’t have,” responded Flint. “You’ve never wanted all that much of anything. Which do you suppose is worse?”
- Chapter 15 (p. 140)
- You measure a man by what he beats, Thaddeus—not by what he avoids.
- Chapter 18 (p. 160)
Eros Ascending (1984)
[edit]- All page numbers from the first mass market paperback edition, published by Signet Books, ISBN 0-451-13255-6, first printing
- Italics as in the book
- “I take it that you’re not much of a romantic,” he remarked wryly.
“Only when I’m paid to be.”- Chapter 2 (p. 41)
- Harry, I wish you wouldn’t sound so damn sincere. I’m not used to it.
- Chapter 5 (p. 72)
- “Look, I didn’t ask you here to talk business.”
“Just why did you ask me, Harry?”
“I’m lonely.”
“You should have let me select a companion for you.”
“I said lonely, not horny.” He paused. “Well, maybe a little of each.”
“Just a little?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Accounting isn’t exactly a universal aphrodisiac,” he said. “Otherwise I would have propositioned you already.”
“And why am I so blessed?”
“I don’t know any of the others,” he answered.
“And you only go to bed with people you know?” She laughed. “That’s contrary to the whole purpose of a brothel.”- Chapter 5 (p. 73)
- “It lacks the conviction of your other lies,” she laughed.
“True,” he admitted. “But you have to understand that my entire training as a liar has been directed at the tax collectors.”
“I didn’t know that deceit and falsehood went to hand-in-glove with accounting.”
“They go hand-in-glove with everything,” answered Redwine seriously.- Chapter 5 (p. 74)
- “What would you be if you could be anything at all?” she asked.
“Happy.”- Chapter 5 (p. 77)
- Redwine wondered what the going price of a conscience was, but named a figure that seemed to hover just between the top end of Reasonable and the bottom of Ostentatious.
- Chapter 6 (p. 84)
- “You’re a fool, Harry.”
“I know,” he said softly.
“That doesn’t make you any less of one,” she replied.- Chapter 7 (p. 108)
- It had been a good line; he had known it the instant he uttered it. The funny part, he thought with a rare feeling of serenity, was that it was also the truth.
- Chapter 8 (p. 125)
- Corruption is like a disease; it tends to spread to everyone who comes into contact with it.
- Chapter 9 (p. 133)
- “You’re sure of that, are you?”
“I’m the best there is, so why shouldn’t I have the best job?”
“Modest, too,” commented Redwine dryly.
“The next modest whore you meet will be the first,” replied Suma.- Chapter 10 (p. 143)
- “I never said that.”
“You never had to,” he replied with a smile. “I’m good at my job, remember? And part of that job is listening to what people say and figuring out what they mean.”- Chapter 13 (p. 180)
- “I probably shouldn’t admit this to you, but I don’t enjoy sleeping alone since I’ve met you. And I’m certainly not going to seduce your body if I know your mind is still working away on this paranoid fantasy.” She paused. “So the sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can go back to behaving like normal adult human beings.”
- Chapter 13 (p. 182)
- “Contrary to what you may think about prostitutes, Harry, none of us were brought up to screw in front of an audience. But after a couple of lives get saved because Security sees a problem developing, and after you realize that they’re not simply a batch of drooling voyeurs at the other end of the monitors, you come to accept and appreciate them, and after a while you don’t even think of them at all.” She paused. “One of the first things a prostitute learns how to do is not think of things, especially while they’re happening to her.”
- Chapter 16 (pp. 213-214)
- “I still can’t see why you don’t aim your sights a little higher.”
“Because I’m comfortable with you,” she replied.
“There are lots of comfortable people in the galaxy,” he said.
“Then aren’t you lucky that I haven’t found any of them yet?” Suddenly her face became serious. “Harry, if you haven’t figured out by now that money and looks aren’t important to me, what can I tell you? I’ve been lonely, and you make me feel less lonely. I’ve been an object, and you make me feel like a person. I’ve been asked to do a lot of kinky things, but you’re the very first man who ever asked me to talk to him when there was an empty bed in the next room. I have a farm I haven’t visited in six years, and suddenly you make me want to settle down there. What the hell else do you want me to say?”- Chapter 16 (p. 214)
- “I take it you’ve never made love beneath a full tropical moon?” said the Madonna with a smile.
“I’ve never made love beneath any moon,” he replied. “One of the drawbacks of a career in accountancy.”- Chapter 16 (p. 216)
- “You make him sound like a spiteful man,” noted Bonhomme.
“No,” said Suma. “Just greedy.”
“Everybody’s greedy,” replied Bonhomme. He just happens to be a little more efficient at it than most of us.”- Chapter 17 (p. 220)
- “Besides,” she added, “the Madonna has been very stupid.”
“Oh? In what way?”
“She forgot the prime axiom of a whorehouse: that there’s a difference between love and sex. Her job is dispensing sex, and instead she fell in love with the man who is rigging the Comet’s books. It was a very unprofessional thing to do.”- Chapter 17 (p. 225)
- “This is survival of the fittest, Mr. Redwine.”
“Or of the least moral,” he said bitterly.
“It comes to the same thing in the end,” she acknowledged pleasantly.- Chapter 19 (p. 244)
Eros at Zenith (1984)
[edit]- All page numbers from the first mass market paperback edition, published by Signet Books, ISBN 0-451-13667-5, first printing
- Italics as in the book
- Crane stared at her for a moment. “I realize that people find me abrasive and demanding…” he began.
“You left out tyrannical,” she noted dryly.- Chapter 1 (p. 21)
- “Is there anything else?”
“Only that you have expressed dissatisfaction at not yet obtaining a supervisory position, and that your associates find you difficult and demanding to work with.”
“That’s because I am difficult and demanding to work with,” he said, not without a trace of pride. “As for my associates, they’re a bunch of maladroits and incompetents.”- Chapter 2 (p. 32)
- “You’re not irritating me, Mr. Crane,” said the Black Pearl.
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely,” she replied. “I’m used to dealing with prima donnas and their over-inflated egos.”- Chapter 3 (p. 75)
- “I don’t like ultimatums,” said the Black Pearl.
“Then you shouldn’t force me to deliver them.”- Chapter 6 (p. 118)
- At any rate, she is what one might call a voyeur with delusions of literacy.
- Chapter 6 (p. 127)
- He had been to casinos on Deluros and a handful of other worlds, and had usually been disappointed in them. Romantic fictions and cinemas had always portrayed them as playgrounds for the very rich, whereas his experience was that the typical casino gambler had no more knowledge of taste or culture than he had of odds.
- Chapter 7 (p. 133)
- “You didn’t really think it was funny, did you?”
“I laughed, didn’t I?” responded Crane.
“Insincerely.”
“Well, you can’t have everything.”
“No,” admitted the comedian. “But you can want everything.”- Chapter 7 (p. 137)
- “Have I mentioned before that you’re a very interesting person, Mr. Crane?”
“No—but I fully concur.”- Chapter 9 (p. 159)
- I don’t know how to tell you this gently, Mr. Bello, but you’re yesterday’s news.
- Chapter 14 (p. 220)
- The one thing Vainmill has in common with all governments and major corporations is that it abhors scandals.
- Chapter 15 (p. 239)
- “He was a very dangerous man.”
“He was a very brilliant man.”
“I know. That’s what made him so dangerous.”- Chapter 17 (p. 254)
Eros Descending (1985)
[edit]- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition, published by Signet Books, ISBN 0-451-14017-6, first printing
- Italics as in the book
- And, predictably, he has taken every such gesture as a sign of weakness. You can't reach an accommodation with a man like this; you have to fight him.
- Chapter 3 (pp. 49-50)
- “He's got to have a weakness somewhere.”
“Most men do,” said Fiona, commanding the doors to open. “Even a moral man like Thomas Gold.”
“I like moral men the best.”
“Oh?” she said, stepping into the elevator. “Why is that?”
Constantine smiled. “They always make the loudest crash when they fall.”- Chapter 3 (p. 60)
- “Christina, you shouldn't say that about your brother,” said Gold. “He happens to be the most righteous man I've ever been privileged to know.”
“That's just the kind of man who will commit any crime without compunction if he's convinced he's right,” said Christina.- Chapter 12 (p. 170)
- “That's a very small comfort, to me or to him,” said Christina bitterly.
“I’m a scientist,” answered Robert apologetically. “I’m better at analyzing problems than finding comforting things to say about them.”- Chapter 15 (p. 208)
Eros at Nadir (1986)
[edit]- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition, published by Signet Books, ISBN 0-451-14448-1, first printing
- Italics as in the book
- “You're almost an hour late!” continued Murray Carnegie harshly.
“I’d prefer to think that everyone else was an hour early,” said Page.- Chapter 1 (p. 14)
- “He talked to me about my place in the organization.”
“And?”
“As long as I ask his permission every time I feel like inhaling or exhaling, I'm sure we'll get along just fine.”- Chapter 2 (p. 29)
- She smiled. “Well, you wanted to be a scriptwriter.”
“Not really,” he replied wryly. “I just wanted to be rich and famous.”- Chapter 2 (p. 68)
- “Why not borrow from something more recent?” she asked.
“I don't mind consciously swiping from plays that no one has ever heard of,” he replied. “But I don't want to inadvertently steal a character or a story line that might be familiar.” He smiled. “It's the difference between research and plagiarism.”- Chapter 3 (p. 77)
- True representations are for libraries. Happy, exciting stories are for audiences.
- Chapter 4 (p. 121)
- We’re going to have a murder. Audiences like a little violence with their sex and music.
- Chapter 5 (p. 126)
- “It's a good, professional outline,” he said at last.
“I am not qualified to offer subjective artistic opinions,” said Cupid.
“Take my word for it. It's got songs, it's got romance, it's got laughs, it's got a happy ending, and I guarantee the audience won't have to think.” He shrugged. “It may be silly as hell, but it'll make a hundred million credits.” He paused, then shook his head sadly. “You’d think an audience would have better taste.”- Chapter 6 (pp. 154-155)
- “Sue me, but I just don't see any need to be this artsy-fartsy.”
“I’m trying to create a work of art, damn it!” said Page, exasperated.
“Works of art appeal to the masses, Nate; they don't hold them in contempt or try to drive them away.”- Chapter 7 (p. 175)
- “It wouldn't work,” said Page.
“Why?”
“Because you're a machine. You're simply reporting facts, and facts have very little to do with truth.”
“That is contradictory, Nate.”
“Only to a machine,” replied Page.- Chapter 9 (p. 223)
- All page numbers from the second mass market paperback edition published by Tor Books, ISBN 0-812-52256-7, in August 1992, second printing
- All italics as in the book
- Man sells his soul to the devil, he spends the rest of his life trying to stockpile enough money to buy it back.
- Chapter 1 (p. 20)
- Somewhere along the way he learned the most important lesson of all, which was that a king with no heirs had better never turn his back on anybody.
- Chapter 2 (p. 21)
- No matter what kind of promises a man who’s looking for power makes, he’s not going to turn out to be any different from the one he replaces.
- Chapter 3 (p. 39)
- “You never did tell me why you became a bounty hunter.”
“I’d been a terrorist for twelve years. The only thing I knew how to do really well was kill people.”- Chapter 3 (p. 40)
- “You must have been a very serious young man.”
“Actually, I used to laugh a lot more than I do now.” He shrugged. “That was when I thought one moral man could make a difference. The only thing I find really funny these days is the fact that so many people still believe it.”- Chapter 3 (p. 40)
- “Did you find God, or did you buy Him off?”
“It’s all a matter of viewpoint,” answered Socrates. “I contribute thousands of credits to His churches and sing His praises every morning, and He pretty much protects me and helps take care of business. It’s a mutually nourishing relationship.”- Chapter 5 (p. 64)
- “You know,” he said unhappily, “I never did like you much. You were always too ambitious, always scheming and plotting.”
“Why should I deny it?” she said calmly. “I’ll only add that it’s people like you who made it easy.”
“What’ll you do when you finally get to the top, and there are no more bodies to climb over?”
“Mostly, I’ll enjoy it,” she replied.- Chapter 6 (p. 85)
- “Have you ever done anything, even once, with no thought of a return?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“How old were you? Six?”
“Younger. And I immediately decided that there was no percentage in it.”- Chapter 6 (p. 85)
- I may die unmourned, but I sure as hell don’t plan to die unavenged.
- Chapter 6 (p. 88)
- “He does it because he wants to.”
“Then I was right the first time,” she said decisively. “He’s a fool.”
“For doing something that makes him happy?”
“For giving it away for free.”
“Maybe he’s got enough money,” suggested the Swagman.
She turned and stared at him. “Do you know anyone who’s got enough money?”
The Swagman smiled. “Maybe he’s a fool,” he said at last.- Chapter 10 (pp. 133-134)
- You have many wonderful qualities, Virtue—you lie and cheat and blackmail and bluff with great panache, and you’re thoroughly delightful in bed—but you simply aren’t a skilled professional killer.
- Chapter 10 (p. 141)
- “I also destroyed a man who was in serious need of destruction,” replied Cain. “On the whole, I’d say the ledger came out on the plus side.”
“There wasn’t even any paper on Socrates.”
“Then view killing him as a service to humanity.”
“I wasn’t aware that you were in the philanthropy business,” said the Swagman.
“There are more important things than money,” said Cain.
“True—but all of them cost money.”- Chapter 13 (p. 177)
- “Kabalka Five? That’s an alien world, isn’t it?”
“It doesn’t take aliens long to find out what men will do for gold,” she replied.- Chapter 22 (p. 301)
- “This is a grim business. There’s nothing romantic about harassing an overwhelming power with no hope of winning.”
“If he knows he can’t win, why does he do it?”
“To avoid losing.”
“That sounds profound, but it doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense,” said Cain.- Chapter 22 (p. 302)
- “Does might make right?” she asked.
Cain shrugged. “No. But it makes it pretty difficult for anyone to tell you you’re wrong.”- Chapter 22 (p. 305)
- “You’ve got quite a library. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many books in one place before.”
“I like the heft and feel of a book,” replied Santiago. “Computer libraries are filled with electrical impulses. Books are filled with words.”- Chapter 22 (p. 307)
- “Let me suggest that sometimes it’s not a bad idea to judge a man by his enemies.”
“In your case it’s an absolute necessity,” said Cain sardonically. “I’ve met your friends.”- Chapter 22 (p. 308)
- “Why are you fighting it?”
“Because somebody has to.”
“That’s not much of a reason.”
“It’s the best reason there is,” said Santiago. “The first duty of power is to perpetuate itself. The first duty of free men is to resist it.”- Chapter 23 (p. 312)
- The second you attain power, you become what you’ve been fighting against.
- Chapter 23 (p. 312)
- “I persist in fighting because I see something that’s wrong, and the alternative to fighting is to submit.”
Cain made no comment.
“If you want a philosophic justification, you’ll find it in my library,” continued Santiago. “I’ve got a much simpler explanation.”
“What is it?”
He smiled a savage smile. “When someone pushes me, I push back.”- Chapter 23 (p. 312)
- “There are no bad bounty hunters,” replied Cain. “Just good ones and dead ones.”
“Why did you become a bounty hunter in the first place?” asked Jacinto.
“When I realized that I wasn’t going to make the galaxy a better place to live in in one bold stroke, I decided to try doing it one small step at a time.”
“Have you ever regretted it?”
“Not really,” replied Cain. “We all make choices; most of us get pretty much what we deserve.”- Chapter 25 (p. 339)
- I wish you were as bright as you think you are.
- Chapter 27 (p. 360)
- “Then, if there are no further objections, I think I’ll take my leave of you,” he said, walking to the door. “I crave the company of honest men and women.”
“I doubt that the feeling is mutual,” said Cain.- Chapter 27 (p. 371)
- All page numbers from the first mass market paperback edition, published by Ace Books, ISBN 0-812-50716-9, first printing
- Italics as in the book
- I always enjoyed blowing off steam in Berengi for a day or two, but by the third day I usually got to wishing I was back in the bush. Cities, even small ones like Berengi, didn’t appeal to me, and after a couple of days in town a hunter would come to realize that even though the safari business had never been better, he was on the way to becoming a walking anachronism. Cities are built by people who want a permanent home, and farms are worked by people who are tied to the land; those of us with wanderlust in our souls may be necessary in the beginning, but we’re just passing through. Some, like Fuentes, leave early, and some, like me, leave a little later, but eventually all of us leave. Every paved street, every house with a solid foundation, every cultivated piece of land, it’s just another nail in our coffins.
- Chapter 3 (p. 55)
- It takes a lot out of a man to civilize a world, and it’s self-defeating in the end, because the kind of man who does it doesn’t want to see the results.
- Chapter 4 (p. 63)
- And there was never any question about coming back: no one ever goes back to Peponi. Whatever it was that brought you there has got to change before you leave, and once it has changed, you don’t want to see what it’s become.
- Chapter 4 (p. 72)
- She wrote very selectively of the Peponi she remembered, emphasizing those aspects that she found praiseworthy and ignoring the less savory events of her life. As Hardwycke had put it during one of our conversations, every line of the book was true, but the book itself was one big lie.
- Chapter 5 (p. 78)
- Gabriel Pickett looked like any farmer anywhere—lean, hard, and overworked.
- Chapter 5 (p. 85)
- “I don’t mean to insult you, Mr. Breen. But you’re speaking from ignorance.”
“No offense taken,” I said. “If I didn’t want to cure my ignorance, I wouldn’t be asking questions.”- Chapter 6 (pp. 104-105)
- “When we lived in tribal villages, before the advent of Man, the chief was always the wealthiest member of the community,” continued Tonka. “Nobody found anything wrong with that; after all, that was one of the reasons why he was the chief, and nobody ever resented his wealth.” He paused. “Buko Pepon is the chief of the entire planet. It is only natural that he is richer than anyone else.”
“You’re saying that it goes with the job?” I asked, trying to understand his lack of moral outrage or even envy.
“Of course. Why else would one want to rise to power?”- Chapter 12 (p. 210)
- “That sounds very cynical,” I noted…
“You say it’s cynical, I say it’s practical. Either way, it’s sincere.”- Chapter 14 (p. 240; ellipsis represents elision of half a sentence for continuity)
- “What is your net worth today?” I asked, studying his face for a reaction.
“I have no idea,” he replied easily. “Anyone who does know his net worth isn’t worth very much.”- Chapter 15 (pp. 246-247)
- I decided that the only way to judge him was to balance the good he had done against the evil—and by that criterion, he came out better than most Men.
- Chapter 15 (p. 254)
- Giving them the privileges of citizens of the Republic doesn’t make them Republic citizens. They’d have been better off if we’d never opened this planet up, but we did, and I’m not about to feel guilty because of something that occurred more than half a century before I was even born.
- Chapter 17 (p. 284)
- “Would you have accepted the Presidency if you had known what to expect?”
“I’m here, and I’m doing the very best job I can,” he replied. “That is a very hypothetical question.”
“But I noticed that you didn’t answer it,” I said.
“I know.”- Chapter 19 (p. 314)
- You know, animals can recover from most disasters, including poaching—but start destroying their habitat and you’ve written their epitaph.
- Chapter 20 (p. 317)
- All page numbers from the first mass market paperback edition, published by Ace Books, ISBN 0-812-53535-9, first printing
- Italics as in the book
- “Have you heard of her?”
“No. She is a female?” The tone of his voice was clearly contemptuous.
“So I gather.”
“What uses a female to me?”
“Money knows no gender,” answered McFarley. “I gather she is prepared to sign a treaty with you, by which you will give her the mineral rights she craves and she will assure your primacy over the tribes of Karimon.”
“What good is the promise of a female?” said Jalanopi. “Females are little better than Tallgrazers. If a warrior wants one, he buys one. They have no brains. They are good only for preparing meals and producing babies.”
“They have no rights,” said McFarley, which is quite a different thing than having no brains. You waste half of your race’s potential by keeping them in such servitude.”- Chapter 6 (pp. 56-57)
- “These are not Men you are talking about,” said Violet. “They are aliens who eat insects, wantonly brutalize small animals, have yet to discover the wheel or the lever, and live in burrows. Would you have them remain at this stage of social evolution forever?”
“Certainly not—but I would not force change upon them.”
“Oh?” she said sardonically. “Then may I presume that you have not attempted to spread the word of Our Lord Jesus Christ among them?”
“That is not the same thing.”
“Of course not. You are doing it, not I.” She smiled. “I believe the word for that is ‘hypocrite’.”- Chapter 10 (pp. 96-97)
- Whether you approve of them or not, changes are coming to Karimon. It will become a modern world, a working member of the Republic. You can make the transition from savagery to civilization easier, or you can make it more difficult, but you cannot stop it.
- Chapter 10 (p. 100)
- She marveled, as she always did, that medical science had kept her alive and functioning this long, at the same time wondering what demons within her could so pollute this fresh blood that within four weeks it would be as useless and diseased as that which was now being drained from her. McFarley, she decided, would call it the curse of ambition. She preferred to think of it as the price of greatness. From time to time she wondered whether time would prove her or McFarley correct, or whether her condition was simply the result of an indifferent God in an indifferent universe.
- Chapter 10 (pp. 100-101)
- “Some weeks ago, Reverend Andrew McFarley visited the Department of Alien Affairs with some disquieting information,” said Gaunt.
“That’s not surprising,” replied Violet. “Reverend McFarley finds most things disquieting. I suspect it goes with his profession.”- Chapter 13 (p. 114)
- “I wonder…” said Rawls.
“What do you wonder?”
“If he wasn’t happier before we arrived. Maybe his kingdom was just a tree and a patch of bare ground, but his word was law and he took orders from no one.”
“Of course he was happier before we arrived,” she said irritably. “Just as Men were happier when all they had to do was fill their bellies and keep warm and dry. They didn’t have neuroses, they didn’t fight wars, they didn’t worry about nonessentials.” She paused. “But on the other hand, they lost more than half their children in infancy, they succumbed to every disease that came around, they had no language, no history, no art—and they were hunted by everything that was bigger and stronger. They may have been happier, but they weren’t better off. You learn to take the bad with the good, Linus.”
“I suppose so,” he agreed. “But it does lead to another question.”
“Oh?”
“Which are we—the bad or the good?”
“That all depends,” said Violet.
“On what?”
“On who writes the history books.”- Chapter 14 (p. 125)
- It’s my observation that God usually favors the side with the best weapons.
- Chapter 21 (p. 165)
- “Whether one is a traitor or a patriot depends entirely upon one’s point of view,” said Paka. “And upon who is holding the weapon.”
- Chapter 39 (p. 250)
- All page numbers from the first mass market paperback edition, published by Ace Books, ISBN 0-812-52345-8, first printing
- Italics as in the book
- “Still,” he added, “I thank you for your concern. When the election is over, I will remember who my friends are.”
“I just hope you remember who your enemies are before the election is held,” said Beddoes sincerely.”- Chapter 4 (p. 80)
- “I notice that the power’s off.”
“It comes and goes.”
“And the water?”
“If I don’t boil it for coffee, I purify it.”
“Does anything work anymore?”
“The weapons, of course—though I’m told he can’t get spare parts for them. And the roads, so he can move his army quickly from one spot to another. Not much else. Mail service is sporadic at best, and the phones haven’t worked in months.”
“That’s what happens when you start by killing off the intellectuals and the technicians.”
“How did you know he’d done that?”
“Eventually it’s what all dictators do. Usually they build the roads first, though.”- Chapter 13 (pp. 152-153)
- “How bad are things going to get?”
“Worse, I think, than either of us can imagine.”
It was an understatement.- Chapter 15 (p. 178)
- “Nobody wins in a war.”
“Nonsense, Arthur. That sounds great in a university lecture or a book, but the fact is that someone always wins. Who do you think writes the history books? The winners.”- Chapter 17 (p. 185)
- In a totalitarian society, the most valuable commodity is information, since the government guards it so jealously.
- Chapter 33 (p. 271)
- All page numbers from the trade paperback first edition published by Axolotl Press/Pulphouse Publishing, catalog number 15
- Novella nominated for the 1992 Nebula Award, the 1991 Hugo Award, and the 1991 Locus Award
- “For the longest time I thought my future would be in ornithology and taxidermy, but eventually I found men more interesting than animals.” Suddenly he grinned. “Or at least, more in need of leadership.”
“Well, we’ve come to the right place,” replied Boyes. “I think the Congo is probably more in need of leadership than most places.”- Chapter 3 (p. 25)
- “I obviously have more faith in these people than you do, John.”
“Maybe that’s because I know them better.”- Chapter 5 (p. 43)
- “You sound like a pessimist, Yank,” said Roosevelt.
“Pessimism and realism are next-door neighbors on this continent, Teddy,” said Rogers.- Chapter 9 (p. 95)
The Red Tape War (1991)
[edit]- All page numbers from the first mass market paperback edition, published by Ace Books, ISBN 0-812-51282-0, first printing
- Co-written with Jack L. Chalker and George Alec Effinger
- Italics as in the book
- “You know, things couldn’t get this screwed up by chance,” he said, more to himself than to the computer, which in Pierce’s opinion was merely the latest in a long line of things that had been screwed up. “It took a long, hard, concerted effort.”
- Chapter 1 (p. 2)
- To paraphrase J. B. S. Haldane, the universe not only held more red tape than anyone imagined; it held more red tape than anyone could imagine.
- Chapter 1 (p. 2)
- He reminds me of my little sister, Sweetie-pie Bubba-Sue Goldberg. The only thing that’s kept me from smothering her in her sleep is that she was accidentally cryogenically frozen at the age of thirteen. Daddy’s spent a fortune on research scientists. They’re looking for a cure for adolescence.
- Chapter 5 (p. 88)
- Everybody knows that the whole purpose of bureaucracy and red tape is so that, even as it creates a full employment economy, it’s impossible to blame anyone for anything!
- Chapter 9 (p. 171)
- Even if I grant your supposition, you ought to know as well as anyone that all that counts are appearances. Reality is irrelevant, particularly to the government, so long as the paperwork’s right.
- Chapter 9 (p. 174)
- If he used Company ships and personnel to stop an alien invasion, somebody someday might file a report that would be the only sort of report that the bureaucracy handled with the speed of lightning: that someone was bypassing the bureaucracy.
- Chapter 10 (p. 189)
- “There’s no time to waste, sir. The longer we wait, the greater the chance that we will commit an act that will land us in the pits of hell for all eternity.”
“I wonder what an eternity of hell must be like?” mused the gasbag-Pierce, postponing the inevitable for another moment.
“I always thought it must be like being locked in a theater that plays endless reruns of Ann Rutherford movies,” offered Arro.”
“Really?” asked the gasbag-Pierce, interested. “I pictured it as trying to open a childproof bottle of aspirin until the universe finally fell into the thrall of entropy.”
“May I respectfully point out that we have every chance of discovering what eternal damnation is like if you don’t do something very soon, sir?”- Chapter 12 (pp. 233-234)
Soothsayer (1991)
[edit]- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition published by Ace Books, ISBN 0-441-77285-4, first printing
- “As for talking business,” he continued carefully, “I haven’t heard any offers yet.”
“You’re still alive,” said MacLemore. “That’s not necessarily a permanent condition.”- Chapter 3 (pp. 27-28)
- “Don’t believe everything you hear,” said the Mouse.
Ryan laughed again. “If I believed half of what I heard, I’d be dead and buried already.”- Chapter 6 (p. 59)
- “You haven’t changed at all, Carlos. You never trusted anyone or anything.”
“Maybe that’s why I’m still alive.”- Chapter 13 (p. 109)
- “Why did you ever like him, Mouse?” asked Penelope.
“I was lonely,” said the Mouse with a sigh, “and sometimes lonely people make poor choices.”- Chapter 20 (p. 172)
- “There’s a possibility that I’m wrong.”
“That’s the first rational thing you’ve said.”- Chapter 29 (p. 246)
- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition published by Ace Books, ISBN 0-441-58694-5, first printing
- What this embassy needs is more killers and less bureaucrats.
- Chapter 14 (p. 113)
- “A moral assassin,” she said with an amused smile.
“Not everyone gets into this business because they like to kill people,” he replied.
“Then why do you do it?”
“Because I find all forms of business distasteful,” answered Chandler. “This one pays me enough so that I don’t have to work very often.”- Chapter 20 (pp. 162-163)
- “Look,” said Chandler. “Either we’ve got free will or we don’t. If we do, then we are doing the right thing. If we don’t, then we can’t do anything else, anyway. So what’s the point of worrying about it?”
“Because we can stop right now if we decide to.”
He smiled. “And how will you know that the Oracle didn’t change her mind and choose a future in which we stopped?”
She wearily leaned back on the chair. “Where does it end?”
“Second guessing fate?” asked Chandler. “Never. That’s why it’s a good idea not to start.”- Chapter 21 (p. 167)
- “Well, it’s a practical approach,” she conceded. “But it’s not very satisfying. I think an animal in the forest might have that same viewpoint.”
“I spend most of my life with the animals in the forest,” replied Chandler. “Very few of them have high blood pressure or heart attacks. Maybe they know something we don’t know.”
“They don’t know anything,” said Jade. “They just react.”
“They stay warm and dry and well fed,” he noted. “When all is said and done, that’s all most humans are really trying to do.”- Chapter 21 (p. 168)
- I’m trying to tell you that you can trust me because I’m motivated by the most basic human emotion: greed.
- Chapter 24 (p. 194)
- We have nothing in common except our enmity.
- Chapter 32 (p. 237)
- All page numbers from the mass market paperback first edition published by Ace Books, ISBN 0-441-68329-0, first printing
- The only thing I’m really good at is wishing I was somewhere else.
- Chapter 3 (p. 26)
- “Don’t ever take a job as a diplomat or a politician,” said the Iceman wryly.
“I beg your pardon.”
“You’re a lousy liar.”- Chapter 8 (p. 67)
- “Fast is good,” said the Iceman. “Accurate is better.” He paused again. “And knowing when not to shoot is better still.”
- Chapter 8 (pp. 70-71)
- “She didn’t kill him,” explained the Iceman. “She could have saved him, but she chose not to. Legally it’s not the same thing; morally it is.”
- Chapter 11 (pp. 93-94)
- There are a thousand events that must transpire, each in its exact order; a million futures must vanish every nanosecond; and you ask me to explain all this to you? Poor little human, who seeks only a full belly and a fat wallet, who dreams of heroic deeds and grateful maidens, and who is doomed only to become a speck of dust in a galaxy already overflowing with dust.
- Chapter 16 (p. 147)
- “He was destined to desert me.”
“How do you know I won’t?”
“Because you are selfish enough and greedy enough and immoral enough to realize that your best interest lies in total fealty to me,” she replied.
“I don’t know that I especially like that assessment of me,” said the Kid.
“The question is not whether you like it,” replied Penelope, “but whether it is true.”- Chapter 19 (p. 167)
