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Operation Petticoat

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Operation Petticoat is a 1959 film about a lieutenant commander, during World War II, who finds himself saddled with a decrepit, pink-colored submarine, a con man executive officer, and a gaggle of army nurses making life aboard difficult for everyone.

Directed by Blake Edwards. Written by Stanley Shapiro and Maurice Richlin.
20,000 Laughs Under The Sea!  taglines

Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman

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  • You see, when a girl is under 21, she's protected by law. When she's over 65, she's protected by nature. Anywhere in between, she's fair game! Look out!
  • It's like watching a strip tease. Don't ask how it's done, just enjoy what's coming off.
  • To paraphrase Mr. Churchill: 'Never have so few stolen so much from so many...'
  • Subject, Toilet paper. One: on 6 June 1941, this vessel submitted a requisition for 150 rolls of toilet paper. On 16 December 1941 the requisition was returned with stamped notation, 'Cannot identify material required.' Two: the commanding officer of the USS SeaTiger cannot help but wonder what is being used at the Caviti Supply Depot as a substitute for this unidentifiable material once so well known to this command.
  • We may be pink and coming in by the grace of a woman's brassiere, but we're coming in!

Lt. Nicholas Holden

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  • [finding water all over the floor] Excuse me, sir, is this normal, or should I be nervous again?

Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin

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  • I'm a religious man, Captain, and I believe we'll get through if the Good Lord puts His mind to it. Of course, He'll have to give us His undivided attention.

Other

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  • Chief Molumphry: Pink! Twenty-five years I've been in the Navy, I've never seen anything like this. A pink submarine. All right you guys, you got three hours to have yourselves a happy new year. But at 1700, every man on this crew starts painting her grey!

Dialogue

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Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Any idea where they went?
Lt. Watson: No, sir. When the air raid started, they took off. All Mr. Holden said was "In confusion there is profit."
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Have you ever been to sea?
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Yes, Sir. Destroyer duty.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: How did you find time for it?
Lt. Nicholas Holden: It was a mistake, Sir. About a week after I left Honolulu, they got it straightened out.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Who? The Admiral or the Admiral's wife? She must be awfully upset with you stranded out here. That'll probably cost her the rumba championship this year! Holy mackerel!
Lt. Nicholas Holden: You've gotta sneak up a few back alleys. What you need, sir, is a supply officer who can help you find those back alleys.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: You, Mr. Holden?
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Yes, sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: You'd ruin your manicure! Here.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Uh, don't let my manicure fool you, sir. I was born and raised in a neighborhood called Noah's Ark. If you didn't travel in pairs, you just didn't travel.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: As a kid, I was victim of the most vicious propaganda ever. People kept telling me that money wasn't everything, and I believed it. Until I found out that the people who were saying that "money wasn't everything," were the people that had all the money. So, I figured they were trying to hide a good thing.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Mm-hmm.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Sir, please sit down.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Yeah.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Now there are two simple ways that you can get money. You can steal it, or you can marry it.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: I don't want to bore you with the problems of command, Mr. Holden, because I doubt you'll ever have one. It's inconsistent with that philosophy of yours - every man for himself.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Dog eat dog.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Exactly! The unfortunate thing about command, though, Mr. Holden, is that the responsibilities outweigh the privileges! Now if it were just myself I was concerned with, I'd tell you what to do with that list. But my responsibility is this boat! And to get her out of here, I'd even make a pact with the devil!
Lt. Nicholas Holden: That's where I come in.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: That's right.
Ens. Stovall: Wow! That's what I call scavenging! Uh, what I meant sir, is that I'm... That I'm sure there must be something they can be used for.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: I can think of any number of uses. But not here and now. Mr. Stovall, Lieutenant Holden's influence upon you is beginning to worry me. I suggest you "Wow" less and "Tsk-tsk-tsk" a little more.
Lt. Cmdr Matt T. Sherman: Sir, Sea Tiger was built to fight. She deserves a better epitaph than 'Commissioned 1940, sunk 1941, engagements none, shots fired none.' Now, you can't let it go that way. That's like a beautiful woman dying an old maid, if you know what I mean by old maid.
Capt. J.B. Henderson: Did you ever sell used cars?
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: No, Sir.
Capt. J.B. Henderson: I've got a hunch you missed your calling.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Molumphry, will this boat go down?
Chief Molumphry: Like a rock sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Mr. Watson, how are the plates?
Lt. Watson: Tight as a drum sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: And the engines, Tostin?
Chief Mechanic's Mate Sam Tostin: Factory fresh, sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Well how about it?
Capt. J.B. Henderson: I say take your thieves and these liars here and get the hell out. Oh there's one stipulation, you'll engage no enemy shipping and that includes lifeboats. Even if you see one of them swimming in the water, avoid him. He might kick a hole in your side. Good luck Matt.
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: Sailor...
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: Yes, ma'am.
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: [indicating her laundry she's hung up to dry in the engine room] Tell me when these are dry.
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: Hey, look, I'm a Machinist Mate, I ain't a... laundry sailor.
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: Sailor...
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: Yes, ma'am.
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: Please try not to knock anything down. I wouldn't want it to land on this dirty floor.
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: What's dirty?
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: The whole engine room. [wipes her hand on the deck, shows it to him] Look at that grease.
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: Hey, if you was bombed and sunk and pulled up by your stern, you'd be a little greasy too.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: [Seeing Lt. Crandell and Sherman come out of the shower together] Uh... Good morning.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Uh, good morning.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: That's a clever shower schedule you got worked out, sir. Conserves water too.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Lieutenant Crandell was having a little difficulty.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Sir, it's your boat.
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: Sir, sir... There's a woman in my engine room! You gotta' get that woman outta' my engine room.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Well, who, Tostin?
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: The Major. She washed her clothes and hung them up there to dry. *Stockings,* and everything! It's bad luck to have a woman in the engine room.
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Tostin, what harm can their clothes do?
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: That's when they're the most dangerous. They're like snakes. When they shed their skin, look out!
[Lt. Barbara Duran is climbing down a ships ladder]
Lt. Barbara Duran, RN: Am I uh, going down right?
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Is she going down right?
Lt. Watson: She sure is.
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman: Tell me something. Why did you join the Navy?
Lt. Nicholas Holden: Because I needed an officer's uniform.
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: [noticing Tostin trying to repair a piece of machinery] Sailor.
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: Si!
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: You'll never get it to work that way.
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: [annoyed] Why don't you go and... roll some bandages. What do you know about machinery?
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: I was raised with it. My father was Chief Engineer at the Seattle power plant. [watching him tinker with the equipment] That would work if you'd install a new valve spring.
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: [sarcastically mimicking her] "My father was a Chief Engineer..." Hey look, lady. In the first place I'm trying to make do with something that don't even belong on a submarine. And in the second place, you can't install a new valve spring if you ain't got it. Now, will you get out of here?
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: You're talking to an officer.
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: Maybe Congress made you an officer, but God made you a woman, and... a woman just shouldn't mess around with a man's machinery. Now, for the last time, get out, will ya'?
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: You know, I spent a lot of years disliking women. But I don't dislike you.
Maj. Edna Heywood, RN: Oh?
Chief Motor Machinist's Mate Sam Tostin: You're not a woman. You're more than a woman. You're a mechanic.

Taglines

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  • 20,000 Laughs Under The Sea!
  • Submerged with 5 Girls...No wonder the S.S. Sea Tiger turned a Shocking Pink!
  • It all started when they smuggled 5 girls aboard their submarine!

Cast

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