Over the Hedge (video game)

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Over the Hedge is a 2006 platform video game based on the film of the same name. Sami Kirkpatrick, Madison Davenport and Shane Baumel reprise their roles from the film as baby porcupines Bucky, Quillo, and Spike.

Dialogue[edit]

  • Verne: Maybe going inside a human's house wasn't such a good idea.
  • Hammy: I wanna eat! I want food!
  • RJ: Food is what you'll get, Hamster. Enough food to fill a bear cave... Hopefully.
  • RJ: Ok, everyone, pay attention.
  • Hammy: Ooh! Look at the light!
  • RJ: We need to get through the next three yards. Everyone knows your roles, right?
  • Ozzie: Heather and I run along the front of the houses, And come in through the basement window, At the first sign of trouble, we...
  • Heather: We resist the urge to faint. So we can warn everyone. Right?
  • Verne: Lou, Penny, you'll meet us at the house?
  • Lou: Just me. Penny will stay home with the little ones.
  • Penny: Oh jeepers! I don't want you by yourself in that human house there.
  • Lou: But...
  • Penny: We do this together.
  • RJ: Hamilton?
  • Hammy: Where'd it go? Huh?
  • RJ: You and Stella meet us at the hole in the fence in the third yard, right?
  • Hammy: Right! Third yard! Yep! Three comes after six, right?
  • Verne: Stella?
  • Stella: Help Hammy count to three, Got it.
  • RJ: And Verne and I will navigate the three yards full of the most devious human traps imaginable, Sticking to the shadow like creatures of the night, sneaking past incredible dangers, and...
  • Verne: Sometime before the sun comes up would be good.
  • RJ: Right. Everyone ready?
  • Verne: Good luck everyone. And be careful! Wow. I have to say, this doesn't look so bad.
  • RJ: Great. Let's move out. I wouldn't do that if I were you.
  • Verne: What, breathe?
  • RJ: That, too. But I meant stepping into the light. Looks like some kind of amphibian.
  • Verne: Wouldn't a turtle be less cliche?
  • RJ: Let's find ourselves a frog then. How hard can it be? Aww, look, we've been expected! Who's up for a snack?
  • Verne: Uh... them, I predict.
  • Rat: What gives, chief? Who died and made you king of the picnic tables?
  • RJ: Poultry alert, fan out!
  • Rufus: Whoa there. Think you're just waltzing through this gate like a couple gate-waltzers? You both have a lot to learn about birds. Don't you? Don't you?
  • RJ: You don't want to piece of me, tweetie. Seriously.
  • Verne: You wouldn't want to see my friend here bluster and fume, would you?
  • Rufus: Look, people, I don't make the rules. You want into the next yard, you need my help. Sorry, guys. City ordinance. We're all slaves to bureaucracy, that's what separates us from the humans.
  • Verne: Uh, yeah. Very thought-provoking, thank you. What do we have to do to get past?
  • Rufus: I got the key for the gate hidden in one of those objects. Break 'em until you find it.
  • RJ: Verne! Freeze!
  • Verne: All this fuss over us? I just don't get humans priorities.
  • RJ: It's the Sniffer. The cranky one pay him to "deal" with us. Although not that well, based on the quality of these trap designs. What's he think we are, insects? Now, come on. And stay low. Ready, Stella?
  • Stella: Yeah, but this better be one stupid cat.
  • Verne: Boy, this kinda makes me want to get a log with a higher roof. And carpet.
  • RJ: Amen. Now let's disable the traps so we can admire all this without that whole fear of death thing. Ah, just what the disarmament doctor ordered.
  • Verne: I'm getting dizzy just looking at this thing.
  • RJ: I'll handle this. Hammy?
  • (Hammy arrives)
  • Hammy: Where's my cookie? You just said cookie, right? Either way, where is it?
  • RJ: There's plenty of cookies in it for you, Hammy. All you have to do's just follow the bouncing light and push the buttons, and cookies will rain down from the heavens like -
  • Hammy: Birthday cakes?
  • RJ: Wedding cakes. But only if you hop to it.
  • Heather: Guys? We only have a few minutes until the humans wake up. So whatever we're doing, can we do it a few minutes faster?
  • RJ: Heather's right. Penny and Lou, you take the front door. Hammy and Stella, you've got the hallway. Verne, me and you'll cover the kitchen.
  • Gladys: Where is that ridiculous exterminator NOW?
  • Dwayne: Buenos dias, reptile. Or should I say buenos noches. (Laughs)
  • RJ: Ummph...Almost there...
  • Vincent: What the...
  • RJ: Oh. Good. There you are.
  • Vincent: I was just on my way to kill you. Well, well. I'm impressed. You really outdid yourself this time. Keep this up, and you're going to be just like me. Take what you need, and who cares about anyone else.
  • RJ: Well, I guess when you put it like that... Wow, doing the right thing's never felt so dumb!
  • Hammy: Whee! That was fun! Go tell our driver to do it again!
  • Stellla: Don't just stand there--help me bust everybody outta these things. Then just stand there. And don't touch nothin'. I'm headin' up front for a little recon. Hang on.
  • Gladys: Thanks heavens I won't have to set eyes on any more of those horrid creatures ever again. YOU!!!!!
  • Dwayne: THEM!!!!!
  • Hammy: US!!!!!
  • RJ: Hedge. Now.
  • Ozzie: Run, run.
  • Heather: Come on. Hurry.
  • RJ: Once again, we're home sweet...
  • Verne: Dead.
  • Hammy: Cattle prod at 3:00! This is not a drill!
  • Verne: Doesn't this human ever give up? Lemme rephrase that. I give up.
  • Hammy: C'mon, Verne! Are you a turtle or a mouse?
  • Vincent: Well, well. Look what the hedge dragged in.
  • Hammy: Hi. Hey, you're not still mad about losing all your food, are ya? You sure looked mad chasing us back there!
  • Verne: Hey, wait, Vincent, I can explain... Better yet... No choice. Run for it!
  • Hammy: We didn't do it! Die, I mean.
  • Verne: (Sighs) Not that that's a cheery headline, but where'd RJ skip off to now? Drink, Hammy! Drink! Go! Hammy, why won't you go?
  • Hammy: Already been.
  • Dwayne: Hmm...Rewiring the conductor frame to the propane tanks might've made all the difference.
  • Gladys: You're fired.
  • Verne: What you did back there... That was really brave... And stupid. I can't exactly say I was wrong about you, RJ, but thanks for making me a little wrong towards at least.
  • RJ: I'm just glad everything turned out. And don't worry, next time'll be way easier. I got all figured out.
  • Verne: Next time?
  • (One Year Later...)
  • RJ: Yeah. Pretty sweet take this time, Verne. I know it was touch and go for a while but today's haul puts us over the edge.
  • Verne: RJ, I know we got off to a rocky start but, I guess meeting you was a real stroke of luck after all.
  • Ozzie: (Gasps)
  • Verne: What the...
  • Hammy: Somebody needs to clean up around here.
  • Stella: The food...
  • Heather: Our television! It's broken!
  • Verne: Why would steal our food? Maybe the rats...
  • Stella: Um, this fo' sho' wasn't rats. (Pointed at the VermTech Sign) Now, what?
  • Hammy: Wait, wait, sorry, I zoned out. Define, "The Television's broken."
  • Stella: I love what they've done with the place.
  • RJ: I think someone's been inhaling too much smog. It's him!
  • Stella: Mind-controllin' rats? This dude has way too much time on his hands.
  • RJ: Mind-control caps. So inhumane...Stylish, though.
  • Stella: Anyone else hearin' that?
  • Rat: Animals... come out and play...
  • RJ: The sound's coming from that car!
  • Stella: Terrific, a giant rat. For a minute there I was worried.
  • Rat King: -- and that was the twelfth time I caught rabies. Huh? What the heck...Where am I? Where's my date?
  • Stella: Let that be a lesson to ya'll: hope we show up. Shadows are a skunk's best friend. No offense.
  • RJ: Just stay out of the light. There's no safety in the light.
  • Stella: Why the long face, girl?
  • Penny: Aw, jeepers, it's the little ones. They ran off to go look for the television, then I saw that human...the sniffer! Oh, I knew I shoulda said the TV was a figment if their imagination all along...Oh gosh, I'm a terrible mother...
  • RJ: Easy, Penny, you get back to the hedge, I promise we'll find them. Well? What should we do?
  • Stella: Takin' a detour.
  • Hammy: I did it, I did it!
  • Ozzie: Heather was just -
  • Stella: Ozzie, hang on! Yo, Ozzie, Ozzie, wake up, fool. This ain't the Oscars.
  • Ozzie: Don't worry, people, it's all part of the act, I'm fine.
  • Stella: Wouldn't minded a little help.
  • Ozzie: My performance was the distraction. For a minute there, it even distracted me.
  • RJ: Mission accomplished then. Now, let's find that TV set.
  • Ozzie: Heather went this way. Follow me.
  • Heather: Jeez, what kept you guys? The TV's in a house near the end of the street. I'll meet you there.
  • Stella: Somethin' tells me this ain't gonna be a walk in the park.
  • RJ: Quit worryin'. Electricity can't last forever.
  • Heather: You made it! Awesome! Over here! Come on, hurry, the door is right over... Uh... we come in peace? I'm warning you, don't come any closer or I'll...
  • Stella: Y'all rats just made two mistakes: attacking my homegirl, and not apologizing.
  • Heather: Thanks. Sorry I wasn't more help.
  • (Ozzie arrives)
  • Ozzie: Heather! What were you thinking?
  • Heather: What? I thought you'd be proud.
  • Ozzie: Honey, you know you're not ready for the big leagues yet. You're barely even mastered feigning unconsciousness!
  • Heather: Dad. Get real. I'm better and you can't handle it, just like Mom always said.
  • Ozzie: We'll discuss this at the log, young lady.
  • Stella: Hey, how 'bout talkin' about finding a TV around here someplace?
  • (Heather and Ozzie arrives)
  • RJ: Hm. Anybody besides me not seeing a TV right now?
  • Heather: This is what humans call a film projector. It makes stuff look way huger than it really is, but by using optical science instead of marketing. Pick it up and carry it outside, I'll show you. We're all meeting at the end of the street. See you there!
  • Ozzie: All this for just a little box? Was it worth it?
  • Heather: Dad...
  • Ozzie: The danger, the risk, the travel time...
  • Heather: Dad...
  • Ozzie: Don't interrupt me, young lady. All of us could've been captured, bored... or worse!
  • Heather: Dad, it shows football. Real big. Like as big as a tree.
  • Ozzie: That has no bearing on...Um, we talking sycamore or sequoia?
  • Stella: Can we hold off on the botany debates till after we get it home?
  • (Ozzie, Heather, RJ and Stella walks away)
  • Verne: Hey, that sounds just like...
  • (Stella and Heather runs away)
  • Verne: Hey! Get your reptile! Over here!
  • RJ: No! Verne's just a patsy! It's me you want!
  • Verne: Yeah! Go after him!
  • Dwayne: Whoooaa!
  • RJ: See? We drove him off.
  • Stella: He's coming back.
  • RJ: And that's our cue to get this show on the road.
  • Verne: All right, gather round. This is us, here. This here is me, and this line here represents the stick I'm holding.
  • RJ: Verne. If I may... Little thing called the twenty-first century. Look it up sometime, pops.
  • Verne: Reptile.
  • RJ: I can't help that. Now then... Voila! That's French for "our goal, the Martin residence." Now the good news is, there's no catch at all this time. Bad news is, there is one each actually: we have to avoid the streets at all costs.
  • Verne: Hey, um, excuse me, monsieur, but we were just in the streets. Last night? Remember?
  • RJ: I do remember, Verne. I'm sure we all do. Thus the new "street avoidance" part of the plan. Now let's focus. We'll come from the hedge here and creep unsuspectingly down over into this yard? Find a way the gate hereabouts... And out toward the street through that iron gate.
  • Verne: Um, did you just say going in the street was what we DIDN'T want?
  • RJ: Verne, where's it say you can't avoid something by going toward it and crossing it?
  • Verne: The dictionary?
  • RJ: Never heard of it. Then we head through these two yards, maybe hop a ride to our destination.
  • Hammy: Hop a ride? What ride? I wanna ride!
  • RJ: Shh! Don't spoil the surprise, Hamilton. Even I don't know what I'm talking about. We all set? Let's hit the road!
  • Hammy: Wow! Lasers! These are the best five seconds ever.
  • Ozzie: Not just lasers. Brain tee-ay-zers. We need to find a way to open this gate. Perhaps this inscribed frog here is a cunningly place clue. Merely work your way past the deadly laser grid in the next yard and disarm the traps so the rest of us can join you. Good luck and, above all, don't die!
  • Hammy: Mother is the necessity of invention.
  • RJ: It's the Sniffer! And his van! Together!
  • Hammy: You know what THIS means.
  • RJ: Please, no more fire hydrant. I wasn't a hose then, and I'm not now.
  • Hammy: Yay! Moisture! Hey, look at that. I think that brown rabbit wants to play. This doesn't look like the right away.
  • Lou: We gotcha little surprise up there on the roof of that small building then. Real humdinger too, I'd wager both my jeepers on it, yah. Get yourself some fuel, and you're all set then.
  • Hammy: Say no more! I wanna be surprised!
  • Lou: Spike, put your brother down right now! Sorry, gotta go. Kids!
  • Rufus: Right, right. You wanna know what I got for you. In the end, they all come to the bluejay. Get this thing to the loot circle after this place is a bit more gopher free, wouldja? I got whatcha call hollow bones.
  • RJ: Woo-hoo! This is the only way to fly!
  • Verne: I'm no raccoon but isn't this thing a little loud in the element of surprise department?
  • RJ: Verne, Verne... It's our landing that's gotta be covert.
  • Verne: Nice landing.
  • Hammy: I like the lasers, but I think I'd move the couch over there a little.
  • RJ: Maybe it's how they work off the fat from all that food.
  • Hammy: I guess when you think about it, in a way, we're ALL lasers, huh? Ta-da!
  • Verne: Way to go, Hammy!
  • Ozzie: The humans, they'll be home any minute! Most broadcast the evacuation order. Speakerphone... where is the speakerphone? How did you--
  • Heather: Move it!
  • Ozzie: That'll work. I'll drop the food. you catch it and toss it in the weapon before we run out of time. Or if we do run out of time, start all over. It'll buy us time.
  • Hammy: Ozzie!!!!! Don't fall!!!
  • Ozzie: Aah!
  • Verne: N-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o...
  • Hammy: Awww, they come in peace. Hi, guys!
  • Verne: Plan?
  • RJ: Run.
  • Stella: Yep. Good plan.
  • Hammy: Pull, Ozzie! Yah, mule!
  • Ozzie: Look outs for whats?
  • Hammy: Fun!
  • Verne: So, just to recap, the guy in the van who hates animals ISN'T on our side.
  • Ozzie: Augh! It's him! The Sniffer!
  • RJ: Ozzie, he can't see us! He'd have to have eyes like a...
  • Verne: ...set of high-powered binoculars with isometric infralenses. Ozzie, look out!
  • Dwayne: Hasta la vista, vermin. Expect me when you least expect me and not one's second later, or I'll work for half off and not one dollar more!
  • Hammy: He's right. What do we do?
  • RJ: C'mon, Ozzie. Let's get this food to the hedge before it spoils.
  • Ozzie: Psst! Over here!
  • Hammy: Ozzie crossed the street in an eye blink! I should blink more often, huh?
  • RJ: Oh, you didn't know possums could teleport? Where you been, in a log?
  • Woman: Well now, that's not how many times in a row your teacher said you tripped and fell into the classroom aquarium. Oh Jimmy, you have to learn to pay attention in class. You won't get anywhere in life if you can't learn to pay attention and look out-- (Shrieks)
  • Hammy: Ozzie?! If you're okay, don't say another word!
  • Ozzie: Over here!
  • RJ: Protect the rats! Destroy the food! I mean, the opposite! Okay, guys, this couldn't be an simpler. We hit the shooting gallery, grab the popcorn machine, in and out, two minutes tops.
  • Verne: Oh, it looks like the worst is behind us. We ready for phase two?
  • RJ: Uh, what're we doing again?
  • Verne: You know, stopping the train, getting off it, the shooting gallery? You were there for the meeting.
  • RJ "Stop" it?
  • Verne: Well, how hard can it be?
  • RJ: You've won me over.
  • Verne: Let's take out some of these rats before we go in. It'll cheer me up.
  • RJ: 400 quatloos on the newcomer! Gee, done already? I think I dozed off there a few times.
  • Verne: You're a disgrace to the world of rat shoot betting. How's it feel?
  • RJ: Correctamundo.
  • Verne: Granted, jumping to stationary platforms would be boring.
  • RJ: New shooter coming out... Place your bets...
  • Verne: Uh, driving metaphors might be more appropriate. Okay, you're the god of rat-shooting. Now let's get outta here before the rats start missing their buddies.
  • RJ: Next stop: fun. And lots of it. Ready?
  • Verne: Ah, well. I guess if we time this just right, it'll only hurt a lot... or kill us. Isn't that our stop?
  • Hammy: Oooh. Shiny. Hey, look what I found it's shiny!
  • RJ: Not bad.
  • Girl: Look, Mommy! A raccoon!
  • Mother: They're fake animals, dear. Targets. Just shoot at them.
  • Penny: Oh, jeepers. You have to get up those platforms there. There's nowhere to go but up, yah?
  • Verne: I've never heard "nowhere" sound more enticing thank you.
  • Penny: Now it's a real clear shot then all the way to the end. Just watch out for the targets and it'll be smooth thing.
  • Verne "Don't get hit." Roger that. Tough room.
  • RJ: You wanted trouble, you got it! I'm talking to us, by the way. See how much fun we have with the raccoon in charge?
  • Dog: This is my park... and you're my dinner...
  • RJ: Avoid being eaten!!!!
  • Verne: Now, let's find that popcorn machine before anything else can go wrong. I thought popcorn was mostly air.
  • RJ: Put your shell into it, Verne.
  • Verne: Is that a fat joke?
  • RJ: Alright, gang. Here's the four-one-one.
  • Stella: The Backstreet Boys?
  • RJ: Our old screensaver. It was on there when I got it...
  • Verne: You just got this phone.
  • RJ: Great! Let's get over the plan. We, i.e., "us," come out of the hedge into this yard. From there, we head up to these so-called "deadly" high-voltage power lines --
  • Verne: You're out of your mind.
  • RJ: It's perfectly safe! Hammy runs along power lines all the time, don'tcha, champ?
  • Hammy: That blue sparkly stuff tickles my toes and makes my eyes smoke!
  • Verne: You're right, these meetings are really helpful.
  • RJ: The power lines lead us right to this attic window, as if by divine providence! We go through the attic, then cross through this yard! Bingo! We're at the Smith's back door, dead or alive. It's easy as pie but without the hassle of burning the crust!
  • Verne: Just the image I needed.
  • RJ: Verne, a wise raccoon once said that none of us can truly appreciate life until we try extra hard to lose it. I'd tell you what happened to him, but it's a sad story. "K, we ready? Let's go!
  • Stella: Hey, human birthdays look all right to me. You see that cake?
  • RJ: Yeah, I'm really digging their use of space. It really screams, "Smash everything pink."
  • Stella: I'm a girl and all, but a pink castle? Come on. Who wants to play in that?
  • RJ: Okay, here's the fun part. We just have to get to the house, then across those wires. Who says adventures never comes in twos?
  • Stella: Wires?! Finally. We haven't fallen or been electrocuted for almost three whole minutes.
  • RJ: Look, let's just worry about getting that bridge down first.
  • Stella: Nice attic. Or is it? Heather, whatcha got for us, sister?
  • Heather: Cell-phone sensors are picking up some kind of barrier. Signal locked. Okay guys, look for this, it's your way out.
  • Stella: Find something heavy. Probably end up carrying it , too. Let's get a move on. Finally something that's not a huge pain in the --
  • RJ: Uh...what's that sound?
  • Stella: Make 'em pay for it!
  • Heather: Hey, guys? Sorry to interrupt again, but I need to tell you something really, really important. Whatever you do, before you leave the attic...
  • RJ: We're out of the attic already, Heather.
  • Heather: Oh, yeah. Right. Okay, scratch that. It's really, really important that you all remain extra, extra careful with your weapons once you're in the yard.
  • RJ: Why? Ah. Right. Science.
  • Stella: Might be a good idea to make sure this place is trap-free before we call in the so called cavalry.
  • RJ: Traps, shmaps.
  • Ozzie: Sorry to interrupt, everyone, but I'm afraid the bearer of grim news. What I'm about to say you may find disturbing if not outright quasi --
  • Stella: We're already up to speed on the electrical floor, Ozz.
  • Ozzie: Oh. Well. Never mind then.
  • Stella: Where would we be without possums? What do you know. Another switch.
  • RJ: Let's show that switch how do we do business downtown.
  • Stella: I haven't smelled anything like this since I fell in that sewage Hammy brought home.
  • RJ: It's that thing. It puffs out fake wood scent.
  • Stella: How's this an improvement on real trees again?
  • RJ: If a can sprays, and there's no one to smell it, does it give off a scent? Wonder why they need so much?
  • Stella: Somethin' tells me we're about to find out. Let's make like an axe and hit the basement, chop-chop.
  • RJ: Uh... What's a badger doing down here?
  • Stella: I don't know but I have a feelin' it ain't to show us where the food is.
  • (Penny arrives)
  • Penny: Aw, jeepers. Look at all that food then. Oh.
  • RJ: Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow ye diet!
  • Penny: Hey, Lou, you up there?
  • Lou: You betcha, hun. Come help load up the wagon there.
  • Penny: All righty then, now Lou'll fill ya in on what he wants. I'll go up and give 'im a while you fill 'er up. Sounds good? Super then! Oh, hurry up the. Befor the human show up and cut off our jeepers.
  • Verne: Isn't this a little exposed?
  • RJ: As long as we're careful...
  • Hammy: Hey, look at that! What?
  • Kid: Nice try! I heard that. (Gasps) Whoa!
  • Verne: This is so much worse than a bear.
  • Kid: Mom! Mom! There are some kind of animals in the house... and they're eating my chips!
  • RJ: Yep. Worse than a bear.
  • Stella: I'm beginnin' to think gluttony ain't all it's cracked up to be. Let's get this stuff back.
  • Woman: Earl? Did you leave the lawn mower on AGAIN? Shut that monstrosity. I can barely even hear my beautiful garbage disposal!
  • RJ: Now, there's something you don't see every day. Any thoughts on what oughtta call it?
  • Ozzie: Never mind that, run! RUN before we shall as summery as that delicious grass juice spewing out the back!
  • RJ: Hang on, Ozzie! We'll be right there!
  • Ozzie: And that oncoming engine of doom is my cue... to exit stage this way.
  • Stella: Why give us if we meant to be brave?
  • RJ: We'll keep the sniffer off you! Just don't look back!
  • Ozzie: What kept you? I just had the most incredible dream. I was playing dead so well. Nothing beats being recognized by your peers.
  • Stella: I wouldn't know. Now hang loose, we'll be there in two.
  • Ozzie: Gophers... sounds like gophers.
  • Stella: Gophers? How many gophers we talkin' about, give or take?
  • RJ: I'm guessing either ten thousand... Or one extra-large one.
  • Penny: Jeepers with extra mayo what happened to you folks there?
  • Stella: Trust me, you don't even wanna know.
  • Verne: Anyone got a lawnmower?
  • Ozzie: What for?
  • Verne: Me.
  • RJ: All right, brothers and sisters, I'm sure you're all familiar with the phrase "simple as taking a satellite dish from a bear's cave"?
  • Verne: No.
  • RJ: Well, the time has come. Only instead of simple, it'll probably be extremely complicated and cost many lives. So, let's get started. We'll start in the caves at the bottom of the cliff.
  • Verne: No climbing. I like it already.
  • RJ: Glad you approve. Eventually we'll come to an underground river. We follow this nice, swooping curve of scenic, high-resolution underground caverns right underneath Vincent the bear's old den--
  • Verne: Um, hi, quick question. He's not there, right? The hungry, angry bear who hates us?
  • RJ: Verne, please. Do you honestly think I'd recklessly endanger our lives with some harebrained scheme? I scouted out just the other day. It was cold and cobwebby. Desolate.
  • Verne: Which day was this again?
  • RJ: I told you. The other one. Now, we'll come back out about halfway up the mountain.
  • Verne: That bear we're not supposed to feed.
  • RJ: Verene. I scouted out. Or meant to. Whatever. Now, if I continue. From here, we just head up the mountain to the den, grab the satellite dish, then head back.
  • Stella: How exactly we plannin' on cartin' some big giant dish all the way down that mountain?
  • RJ: Worry, worry, that's all you worrywarts do. Onward!
  • Hammy: Echo...echo...echo...
  • RJ: Hey, easy on that. I'm all for advertising our presence to Vincent, but not til I have a pie in my head.
  • Hammy: Good one! I mean, what's in it for the bear outside of a full belly and our delicious take? Look, an armadillo! Or an armadilla. Hard to tell from this angle. Vincent's even bigger than I remembered. I like pretzels.
  • RJ: This is his brother maybe? (Clears Throats) Hi, we're friends of Vincent's?
  • Hammy: Aren't "friends" more like how I feel towards this stalagmite?
  • RJ: Hey, he invited me over dor dinner once.
  • Hammy: You're right! I'm starving! Let's take him up on it!
  • Bear Club: ROAR!
  • Heather: Wow... (Laughs) Hellloooo?!
  • Rat: "Hi" yourself, toots.
  • Heather: (Shrieks) Thanks. Sorry I wasn't more help.
  • Hammy: I know! You get the rats I can't reach, and I'll hit the ones YOU can reach. Hooray for everything! Now let's find a way through this mountain. Don't worry, I brought my lucky digging spoon! Geez, it's like a cave in here. Pardon my French.
  • RJ: Shh! We're right below Vincent's den.
  • Stella: How can you tell?
  • RJ: Trust me. I've been here before.
  • Verne: Get out of here! It's collapsing!
  • Hammy: (Gasps) I never knew it could rain potato chips.
  • RJ: Hmm. There's more where that came from, Hammy-boy. Everyone, get ready to feast! HELLO? Well, the place didn't cave in just now. I call that a plus.
  • Hammy: Hey, aren't we right below Vincent's den? I can almost smell the food from here.
  • RJ: And the satellite dish, don't forget. We're not just common food thieves, you know. We're classier than that.
  • Hammy: Maybe we can use the satellite dish to pick up food signals from space!
  • RJ: Is that a chip at your toenails or are you just happy to see me?
  • Hammy: All my angry letters to the Weather Channel must've paid off! They're making it rain food!
  • RJ: Quick, we gotta get to Vincent's den before this whole place comes down on us! Time only flows forward!
  • Hammy: There's no way Vincent could be there waiting for us. Put it this way: I'd look a little silly if he was.
  • RJ: In other words, Vincent's gone and never coming back. I'd bet my reputation on it.
  • Hammy: Please, when a bear cave has all this bear dung in it, it doesn't mean there's a bear, silly.
  • RJ: I couldn't have put it more succinctly. That's how bushed I feel.
  • Hammy: This place reminds me of catchin snowflakes on my tongue. Only giant rock-sized ones. It's like a winter wonderland!
  • RJ: Oh, yeah. These.
  • Hammy: Just following the motion with your eyes is good exercise for your skull.
  • RJ: The important thing is that he's not here.
  • Hammy: Look, worrywart, I happen to the fluent over nine languages created by me.
  • RJ: We gotta be almost there. My stomach's growling like that bear I smell.
  • Hammy: Sure, that's only the fourth time I've seen that stalactite there.
  • RJ: I'm pretty sure INSTALLING the satellite dish is way less hassle than this. Hey, this doesn't look half bad. We should get some stalactites for the log. But not stalagmites, I'm allergic.
  • Hammy: Hey, look, a lock! I but there is a key somewhere we could use to jimmy open the hinges and dismantle it.
  • RJ: We'll probably find some keys along the way, near the endless drops. Looks like someone up there really like us.
  • Hammy: Don't worry, squirrels can fly! I saw it in a book during a dream I was having! See? HOW KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN SO YOU DON'T SET OFF ANY...
  • RJ: Boulder! Dash to the side! I told you Vincent wasn't here.
  • (Vincent arrives)
  • RJ: Look, everybody! It's Vincent!
  • Vincent: Must... eat... an...noy..ing... rac...coon!
  • RJ: Let's compromise. -- Eat this rock.
  • Vincent: RRRRAAAWWWWWWRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Hammy: Oh wait, that's right, we bumped into each other when we depelted you! Ha! that was funny?!!
  • Vincent: ROAR!
  • RJ: I think that's bear for, "Run, idiots!"
  • Vincent: Huh......RJ?
  • RJ: Hey, Vincent. What's the last thing you remember?
  • Vincent: That human with all the traps shooting me with a tranq-dart. And you destroying my stuff. Twice.
  • RJ: Um, let's get back to that first last thing you remember. You were brainwashed into wanting to attack us, thanks to this...
  • Vincent: Well, actually, I will wanna attack you.
  • RJ: But not as much, right?
  • Verne: Look, Vincent, we have a common enemy.
  • Vincent: RJ?
  • Verne: The other common enemy. Remember the big human who shaved you in that contraption?
  • Vincent: Yeah. I'd like a bite of that human to give him something to remember. I'm in.
  • RJ: Bears're so easy. Okay, gang, this oughtta be a cinch.
  • Verne: Well, we've crashed a plane and a train so far. Why not a boat this time?
  • Hammy: Ooh, ooh, ooh! Arrh, matey! Who's next, who's next?
  • Stella: Can we let the raccoon finish, please?
  • RJ: Thank you, Stella. Now -- Our destination is this house, the Connor's. We'll enter through the back door.
  • Verne: Oh, subtle. What's the occasion?
  • RJ: Thanks.
  • Verne: So, crossing the yard without dying or anything about those lines --
  • RJ: Should be simple.
  • Verne: Every time should be simple. What are we at now, oh for nine?
  • RJ: Pfft...Nine... We come out of the hedge here, and head toward the street.
  • Verne: This sounds familiar.
  • RJ: Relax, Verne. We won't go into the street this time. I got a system. We'll take the sewers.
  • Verne: "The sewers" is a system? You don't know what words mean, huh.
  • Hammy: Yay, sewers!! Then we can smell like Stella!
  • Stella: WHAT did you say?
  • Hammy: Something, something yay.
  • RJ: We make a sharp U through the sewers and come out right by the Connor's back door. Everyone start to finish in no time. Everyone's got it?
  • Verne: No, I...
  • Stella: What about the...
  • Hammy: My little toy submarine ran out of baking soda last year...
  • RJ: Great! Let's get this show on the road!
  • Hammy: I guess when you think about it, the humans hafta save up for winter too.
  • RJ: Yeah. Let's nail em.
  • Ozzie: Hold on!
  • Verne: What's up, Ozzie?
  • Hammy: Hi, Ozzie. Wanna hear me gargle through my belly button?
  • Ozzie: He was just here! The Sniffer! He set that statue down and then chased Penny's children into the front yard. It was all I could do to wait here and play deadl til you arrived!
  • Hammy: To the sumthin whatever Ozzie was just talkin' about! On the single! Jump! Whee! Guess we showed that laser who are the real trespassers are.
  • RJ: Now that the danger is safely --
  • Hammy: Yay!
  • RJ: Uh, we need to take out these gophers!
  • Dwayne: (Sniffs) More vermin! That oughta do the trick. Or should I say...the "laser." Well, well, well. One, two, three of you little critters. And your dad, looks like. This is what we in the vermin-taunting business call hitting the jackpot.
  • Lou: Don't worry, kids. Everything's under real good control there.
  • Spike: Dad, I'm scared!
  • Hammy: Stay in your cages and remain terrified!
  • RJ: Anybody have the slightest idea where we're headed?
  • Hammy: I thought it might be safer if we took this toxic, airless passageway.
  • RJ: You have a funny idea what constitutes safety.
  • Dwayne: Heh, heh, don't fret, vermin. Once I get you back to VermTech, we'll fit you with the nice little caps and you'll be nice, soulless autonut -- Hold the phone. They're gone!
  • Hammy: Shouldn't we ask the Sniffer his advice first? Now, who's got egg on their face? I need protein! Wow, a real live mole! And he's holding a real live...thing?
  • RJ: I don't know but I have a hunch it's for us.
  • Hammy: Awww, and we didn't get him anything.
  • Rufus: Hey, thanks for the cage breakage. I woulda done it myself, but I got these really bad apathy attacks.
  • Hammy: That sounds fun. I use a boomerang!
  • RJ: You wouldn't happen to have any theories on how we might get into that hpise over there, would you?
  • Rufus: Can I? Can I?
  • RJ: Well?
  • Rufus: I can do more than tell you. I can show you. Watch and learn the Tao of human architectural entry tactics...Step one: find an open window --
  • RJ: Thank you, Rufus, that'll be all.
  • Rufus: To teach...is...to learn...
  • Hammy: Wow, it looks so much bigger on the inside! Humans are miracle workers!
  • RJ: Sssh!
  • Hammy: I say we hit the switch. It might wake the doggies up so we can play with them. Let's get to it.
  • RJ: We'll have to sneak through . Stand back and watch a master of living room traversal at work.
  • Penny: Oh, did you happen to see those real cute little dog fellas there? Aww jeepers, I just wanted to zip them up in my pouch, take 'em home with us, and have 'em bronzed.
  • Hammy: Yay! Bronze! I mean, huh? What was the question again?
  • Lou: You get the food for the wagon there all squared away then, hon?
  • RJ: Just let us know the score and we'll toss it out the window to you.
  • (Heather arrives)
  • Heather: Guys, you might wanna hurry! Those two sweet little nightmares just scuttled upstairs and it sounds like they're yipping to wake the dead!
  • Verne: This is where we run, right?
  • Ozzie: (Sighs) You're just in time. I have an urgent announcement to make. There are a couple of chihuahuas running around.
  • RJ: We'll keep an eye out for the pooches, Ozzie. Just get the wagon moving. Yah!
  • Dogs: (Barks)
  • Hammy: Aww, those sweetie pies have hearts as big as their fur!
  • 'RJ: Relax, we're fine, just as long as we have Ozzie at the...Um, where'd Ozzie go? Ozzie, heads up!
  • Hammy: OZZIE!
  • Ozzie: Your concern was touching but unwarranted. Human diesel technology is no match for the instincts of a possum, and won't be for many decades.
  • Hammy: I know just what you mean! Except for that part about inn stinks. Most motels smell very nice. Now what about that food?
  • RJ: Chip, anyone?
  • Hammy: In a way, it's a blessing. Now we can get all the food again!!! It's like two neatnesses in one!
  • RJ: Ozzie, you get the wagon over to the yard there. We'll handle the food-getting. Oh, and maybe stay out of the street this time. Might save us some time and lives. But, especially time.
  • Rufus: You know the drill, chump. Find the food for me, and I'll come pick it up. It's called symbiosis. Or busywork, depending on your age range.
  • Hammy: Now, that's what I call a... What were we talking about again?
  • Rufus: That's what I call get moving.
  • Ozzie: Let's make like a wagonload of food and get out of here.
  • Rufus: Three of those bags of chips are mine, FYI.
  • Hammy: Wagonload?
  • Rufus: Flying food around works up an appetite. Eh, you wouldn't understand. Why? Oh, right. You can't fly. Now let's mosey before the price goes up.
  • Lou: Jeepers, we've been worried sick. Look!
  • Vincent: BELCH!!!!!!!!!!
  • RJ: Aww, he's just like a giant teddy bear. With anger issues. And half-eaten bats on his breath... Look, we gotta hit the amusement park while it's closed.
  • Stella: Amusement park? Again? For what?
  • RJ: A cotton candy machine, Stella. Now, c'mon and get your stink-shot loaded!
  • Stella: Cotton candy, Stella, seduce a cat, Stella... 'Scuse me for always missin' the obvious...
  • Mr. Ropeley: Fred! Where the heck are you?! Get over here right now so I can fire you!
  • Hammy: I was thirsty.
  • Mr. Ropeley: First animals in my shooting gallery, and now trash on the mini-golf course... What is going on around here?
  • RJ: All clear. Let's hit it.
  • Stella: So that's a roller coaster. If they really wanted to make it scary, they shoulda made it outta skunk spray.
  • RJ: Looks like kind of a jaunt.
  • Stella: Guess it'll all be worth it once we're all climbin' mountainsides of cotton candy soon.
  • RJ: Rats again? Talk about a one-trick pony.
  • Stella: Yo! Rats! You goin' down.
  • Heather: Hmm. Usually there's a switch for the gate around here somewhere...
  • Stella: Skip that. Let's use this crane instead. Uh, I'm not really one for heavy lifting.
  • RJ: There has to be some kind of switch...
  • Stella: Got it. Let's assume there ain't no switch on our side that lowers some bridge. Now, let's skedaddle to the roller coaster and see what other switches can vex us.
  • Mr. Ropeley: What do you mean, you saw an animal on the gold course?! Those words could mean just about anything, sonny-ma-bumps! Vermin! Consarn jiggly fajelatandrius...
  • Verne: Um... Duck.
  • Mr. Ropeley: Yeow! YOU! Aah! I would've gotten away with broomin 'em, too. If it wasn't for you meddlin' rolly coasters...
  • RJ: Whatta maroon.
  • Verne: C'mon, let's move it.
  • RJ: Man, I can't believe how high up we are. If I weren't in charge, I'd be a little worried.
  • Stella: You're the one always sayin' how much faster it'd be if we used roller coasters as mass transportation.
  • RJ: If trees can grow this high, I'm sure they would. It's for their own ood we cut them down and make roller coasters out of 'em. And look, here's the best part. The tracks're electrified. We get to walk AND learn about science.
  • Stella: I guess if I just pretend I'm soaking in a hot bath, the transition to being fried by electricity'll be a little smoother.
  • RJ: Don't take this wrong, but if you get shocked, I might laugh. Heh, I was just picturing the face you'll make. Let's hurry up so I can see it.
  • Stella: Um. Hi? What's your name, fella?
  • RJ: I think maybe we don't wanna mix too much with this one.
  • Stella: It's a weasel. Good news is, there's only one of 'em.
  • RJ: Hmmm... Yeah. Weasels. And he has a shock prod. Interesting.
  • Stella: I think that's weasel for "run away from me, if you feel like."
  • Mr. Ropeley: What do you mean, you can't see them?! Just look up, you idiot! Your OTHER up!
  • Stella: That doesn't sound promisin', does it.
  • Mr. Ropeley: Right there! See! On the tracks! Vermin, clear as the spittle on the end of my nose, ya crum-blind-nimcomgiaroot!
  • RJ: Yeah, he's talking about is.
  • Mr. Ropeley: Hmph! If you want something right, you have to do it yourself. Get my personal car ready! I'm going up!
  • Stella: We've had enough roller coaster track adventure time!
  • RJ: Where'd curmudgeon go off to?
  • Stella: Did you have to ask? Bingo.
  • Mr. Ropeley: (Laughs) You scallywagin' varmints're just in time for what back in my day we liked to call the end!
  • Stella: Careful for their red glare!
  • RJ: For a guy with such small eyes, his aim's not too shabby! That last part can't be good. Lemme rephrase that. RUN!
  • Stella: Grapple! Quick!
  • Mr. Ropeley: You won't get away with this! I'll call VermTech, and... Whoa!
  • Verne: Lotta work for a cotton candy machine.
  • RJ: You should see what I'll do for chocolate bars.
  • Mr. Ropeley: Uh... help?
  • RJ: Voila!
  • Hammy: Gesundheit!
  • (Ozzie arrives)
  • Verne: Ozzie! What are you doing here?
  • Ozzie: The Sniffer... That evil human! He has Heather! For all I know, he already has one of those metal things on her sweet innocent head. Or worse.
  • Hammy: C'mon, worse than getting a cap slammed on your head... WHAM! Then you're under his control and you walk around like this... Then you attack your own father and you get captured... What?
  • RJ: We'll get Heather back safe and sound.
  • Stella: I'm all for rescuing and revenge and all, but how are we gonna find him?
  • Verne: There's one person who definitely knows how to find the Sniffer.
  • RJ: Yep. No choice. Gotta get Heather back. (Sighs) All right. We're going back to Glady's house. Well, all -- the stakes have never been higher.
  • Hammy: Mmm...steak...
  • RJ: We're looking Gladys' PDA, which is a human gadget, that holds addresses they never visit, and phone numbers they never call.
  • Verne: So far ahead of us in so many ways...
  • RJ: Gladys' new house is the new part of the suburbs, so we're going through some construction.
  • Hammy: Hooray! DIRT!
  • RJ: Uh, right, dirt. Lots of dirt, Hamster. And if you're a good squirrel, maybe even some rust. Now, here's the thing: we have to go through these two yards. Then through this house and up to the scaffolding.
  • Stella: I'm not Skunk Floyd Wright, but that don't exactly look at all safe.
  • RJ: It can hold three or four good-sized human men, so you should be fun. Verne on the other hand...
  • Verne: Hey, enough with the fat jokes! I can't help it if my shell is heavy. And technically, it's muscle.
  • RJ: Right. That's all shell... Whatever you say, buddy. Anyhoo... We'll drop right down into Gladys' yard, pop in through the back door, and I hope figure out what happens next before then. The perfect plan, to fill the perfect log. So easy, even Hammy could do it!
  • Hammy: Huh?
  • RJ: Let's go!
  • Verne: Okay, so just to make sure I understand... They tear out a natural stream, then make a new hole for a new stream...
  • RJ: Right.
  • Verne: Then get rid of all the trees, yank out all the grass and soil... so they put in Astroturf and brick...
  • RJ: And then plant more trees and grass. Yep.
  • Verne: And they're higher on the food chain because why again?
  • RJ: Like we'd be any better if we had thumbs. Come on.
  • Ozzie: Hurry! Inside! The whole place is crawling with gophers. In fact, crawling's putting a bright face on it. Now upstairs and out the window! The roofs are probably our best and most scenic bet at this point.
  • RJ: This isn't so bad as long as you ignore the terrible danger you're in.
  • Verne: I guess this beats crawling around a sewer tunnel. Though I guess we could fall down into one.
  • RJ: See? How hard is that?
  • Lou: We have the place there a real once-over earlier and I'd say it looks pretty safe down there. Borderline real good then.
  • RJ: You sure? This is that crazy lady's yard. You know, the one with the electric prod thingy?
  • Lou: Oh, her. She's out in front. You should be all right in the back yard. It's a whole few feet in plain view then.
  • (Lou walks away)
  • RJ: Good enough for me. Let's go.
  • Verne: Swell. I predict that thing's not here to make our lives easier.
  • RJ: Let's get away from it for now and save the analysis for alter it's wiped us out.
  • Verne: Maybe if we can get it near those propane tanks, we can blow up more than just us.
  • RJ: Wow, can't believe we took that thing down. I guess we rule.
  • Verne: Hey, take a piece so we can show Heather. Now where?
  • RJ: This way's a dead end, we gotta get to the front of the house.
  • Verne: How much worse can the crazy lady be than a giant robot? What delightful headaches are we in for this time, Ozzie?
  • Ozzie: Good news, everyone. Lou managed to get a peek inside the van. The device is on the seat. The key for the back of the truck... ...is by the door. Get the key. Get into the truck. Get to the cab. Get out. You might want to alphabetize those tasks to better keep them straight.
  • Verne: Noted. And Ozzie? We'll get her back. Turtle's honor. Jeez, I haven't seen this many boxes since Hammy blew up that box factory from St. Patrick's Day.
  • RJ: If I know everything about vans and level design, there's gotta be a way at the other end. Uh oh, here comes a friend.
  • Verne: Now all we have to do is...
  • Dwayne: You!
  • Gladys: I thought I smelled a vermin! That's my PDA! You THIEVES!
  • Dwayne: I've been preparing for this moment...
  • Gladys: All right, hairballs. It's go time...
  • RJ: You want a little of this? Woo-Hoo!!
  • Gladys: No turtle goes faster than Gladys Sharp!
  • Verne: Ozzie, maybe you should let me drive.
  • Ozzie: Everyone, this is your captain speaking. Please remain calm and in your seats until the cart has come to a complete crash and explosion.
  • RJ: Whatever you do, Ozzie, just try not to hit anything made of more concrete than us.
  • Gladys: Parking...on couch...violation...of...... ...homeowners...assoshsh...
  • Hammy: Hm. Doesn't taste like blackberry.
  • RJ: Vincent...Wait'll you hear --
  • Vincent: Defend the log. I'll take point. Stay back, mortals! This'll be a bear thing!
  • Verne: Let's help him! C'mon!
  • RJ: Milton! What's the last thing you remember?
  • Milton: I remember...Vermtech... where the humans make the shiny hats... (Shudders)
  • Verne: You didn't happen to see a little she-possum while you were there, did you?
  • Milton: Yeah. Called herself "Heather".
  • Ozzie: That evil human has my daughter.
  • Verne: Let's get to Vermtech, rescue Heather, and shut the place down once and for all!
  • Stella: Whaddya'll say we name this hedge?
  • Hammy: How about "Linda"?
  • Verne: How about "Impassable?"
  • RJ: Guys. Please. How many times do I have to remind you: you're with a raccoon. Ta-da...
  • Stella: Look out!
  • RJ: Relax, Stella. Statues are nothing to be afraid of.
  • Verne: RJ. Stand by that pile of leaves.
  • RJ: Now you're thinking like a raccoon. Hey, marble breath! Over here!
  • Stella: You mean we actually had a plan that worked?
  • RJ: Don't question good fortune. Just run! Well, guys, this is it.
  • Verne: Hey, all we have to do is break in there, save Heather, and get out without dying.
  • RJ: And avoid getting picked off by rats, if possible.
  • Heather: (Shrieks)
  • Dwayne: I don't want to hurt you, little marsupials. I just have a nice hat for your HEAD!
  • Heather: Help me, help!
  • Dwayne: Hah, you think you're the first possum to try and get on this elevator? Guess again.
  • Verne: So, this is where they make all the traps to trying catch us. Guess they ain't expect you with a little more chrome.
  • RJ: We're halfway there! Keep up the pace!
  • Verne: Flip those switches quick before --
  • RJ: Look out!
  • Verne: Huh. So this is what they call an "elevator," huh.
  • RJ: I don't know, but look at all these buttons.
  • Verne: Should I hit one at random?
  • RJ: This might go sour in a hurry.
  • Verne: Can't see how things could get much worse..
  • RJ: See? Now, we're someplace new. I.e., better. What a helpful room that was.
  • Verne: Follow me. They gotta be down this corridor.
  • Dwayne: Don't even think about playing possum with me, honey. I'm undefeated.
  • Heather: Help!
  • Dwayne: What are you afraid of, little vermlet? It doesn't hurt a bit to have your pierced ny sharp steel electrodes. Watch.
  • Verne: There they are. Wait for the right moment...
  • Dwayne: There you are. Now just hold still... Presto! The prefect weapon...A wrench!
  • Verne: We just need to destroy all of those what the humans call machines.
  • RJ: I like it. Then what?
  • Verne: Uh, hope for the best?
  • Dawyne: YOU! AND you? this is almost too good to be true. Say your prayers, roadkill!
  • RJ: Sometimes I wish I didn't understand human speech. If we just break that thing over his head, it'll fall right on him! Hooray for that famous hedgehog who discovered gravity last week!
  • Dwayne: No, not the capping controller! Any controller than that! I see you! No vermin's ever made it out Vermtech alive without me seeing them!
  • RJ: Doesn't that guy ever give up? Heather!
  • Heather: I knew you'd come! Is my dad all right?
  • Verne: Yeah, well, he's not here now, so probably. Look, I want to chat as much as you do, but we gotta get outta here before this whole place blows!
  • Dwayne: So may stars...so many planets...so much fur... The horror...The...horror...
  • Ozzie: Hurry.
  • Heather: Thanks for coming for me, Uncle RJ.
  • RJ: Please. It was on the way.
  • Dwayne: Whoa! This isn't over yet! I've had my cheeks singed by bigger animals than you'll ever be! C'mon, we have to get after them. Call in the SWAT team.
  • RJ: Naturally, Verne against the whole idea...
  • Verne: As usual, RJ's plan consisted of, "Let's just go wherever the danger is and hope for the best..."
  • Hammy: Plus I ate some cheese fries this one time...
  • Stella: Enough sittin' around. Who wants to dance with a skunk?
  • Tiger: Ah, my little striped passion flower. I believe this next dance... ...is mine.
  • Penny: See? Toldja there. All she needed was a good fella.
  • Lou: Close enough, eh?
  • Ozzie: I can't thank you enough for saving her. You are...my heroes.
  • Verne: Oh, you'd have done it for us.
  • Ozzie: No. But, I would now.
  • Verne: Well, it's getting to be about that time. (Yawns)
  • RJ: Yeah.
  • Verne: First day of winter tomorrow.
  • RJ: Yep.
  • Verne: Hey. You know, we only have thirty-eight bags of nachos.
  • RJ: Yep.
  • Verne: Gonna be a long winter. Leap year and all.
  • RJ: What're you trying to say?
  • Verne: I'll get the wagon.
  • RJ: Way ahead of you.

GBA Version[edit]

  • RJ: Vincent is still hivernating! Now's my chance to steal his stash of food! Almost there...
  • Vincent: RRRROOOAAR!!!!! RJ?! Are you trying to steal my food?!
  • RJ: No, no! I would never do that! See? All your food is still in the wagon. Heh, heh...
  • Vincent: Where?
  • RJ: Right over th-- UH OH!
  • Vincent: ROOAAAARRRR!!!!!
  • RJ: VINCENT, WAIT! Please don't eat me!! I can get it all back!!
  • Vincent: GRR... My hibernation ends in one week... When I wake up, you better have all the food plus the wagon and cooler waiting for me. If you don't, I'll hunt you down myself.
  • RJ: How am I going to get all that food in a week? I'm going to need some help...
  • Vincent: ROOAAARRRR!!!!! I don't care who you trick into helping you, just get my food back!
  • Verne: Hey, everyone! Wake up! Hibernation's over-- Who are you?
  • RJ: I'm RJ, and I--
  • Hammy: Verne! Verne! VernVernVernVern VrnVrnVrnVrn--
  • Verne: SLOW DOWN, Hammy! We have a guest.
  • Hammy: But, there's a weird scary thing surrounding our home... and the forest got smaller!
  • Verne: Smaller?! Now, there's not going to be enough food! Wait, what weird scary thing?
  • RJ: It's called a "hedge" built by the humans to separate you from their new homes?
  • Penny: Humans? Jeepers...
  • RJ: Yes, and humans will be your answer to your food problems. All you have to do is walk through that hedge and take any food you see!
  • Verne: That sounds a little dangerous. And how can we trust you? We just met you!
  • RJ: Relax. It's easy and delicious. And you might even have some fun.
  • Verne: Well, everyone, just stay here for now. I'm going to go check it out and try to bring back some food.
  • RJ: There's an easy way out of here if you walk through that log over there.
  • Verne: I don't know about this, RJ...
  • RJ: You'll be fine, Verne. If you get yourself into danger to run out of there.
  • Verne: Hopefully, I won't need to run. Like my dad always said: "Slow and steady wins the race!"
  • RJ: Well, if you run for too long you'll get tired... So, you should pace yourself.
  • Hammy: If you need any help while over that hedge Verne, just yell to me!
  • Verne: But, how would you hear me from the other side of the hedge?
  • Hammy: Oh, yeah... Well then, just send me an e-mail instead!
  • Verne: What's an e-mail?
  • Hammy: Ummm... I don't know...
  • Penny: I would be a lot of less afraid of the "hedge" if we called it something else.
  • Hammy: Let's call it Steve!
  • Verne: Steve?
  • Hammy: It's a pretty name.
  • Ozzie: Steve sounds nice.
  • Penny: Yeah, I'm a lot less scared of Steve.
  • Verne: Jeez...
  • Lou: No, not "Jeez", Verne... "Steeeve". Jeepers, Verne... Good luck out there.
  • Verne: I can't believe the humans made our forest smaller so they could build their houses.
  • Stella: We just needed more skunks around here. You know what I always say: "One good spray, and folks stay away!"
  • Bucky: Bring back a video game system while you're over there, Verne!
  • Spike: And games with animals in them!
  • Quillo: Yeah, cool animals... Like porcupines!
  • Ozzie: If you get in any trouble over there, Verne, just play dead!
  • Verne: Um... great... I'll keep that in mind.
  • Heather: You don't have to listen to my dad. He's, like, SO uncool.
  • Verne: I'm sure hope I can safety get some food for everyone. If I collect enough candy I can buy items and power ups in the shop. I can refil health by eating fruits and vegetables. Wow, so this is a "hedge." Well, here goes nothing... Whoa, humans! I just gotta take it slow and try not to be seen by the adults or touched by the kids. I can hide in my shell at any time. I made it by the humans! That house over there looks like a good place to find some food. Oh no, dogs! Okay, Verne, just Dash Attack when in danger. Maybe I can use that electronic collar to get inside the house! The collar worked! I'm going to have to remember that for next time. Look at that cake in the Kitchen! I've got to get through this room to the Kitchen without touching any of the Kids! There's the cake! But, there's a human in the way. Hmm, if I turn on that lamp, then the human will go turn it back off and I can run behind them! Well, that was a bit scary, but it seems to have worked. I guess we CAN start stealing food from the humans... if we're reeeally careful.
  • Lou: Well, how was it there, Verne?
  • Bucky: Did you see a scary human?
  • Hammy: Did you see a scary squirrel?
  • Ozzie: Did you play dead?
  • Verne: I saw a lot of scary stuff, but I was able to bring back some food. So I GUESS it would be okay if we go over the hedge and--
  • RJ: Great! Hey, can I work with Hammy?
  • Hammy: Yippee!!!
  • RJ: Okay Hammy, meet me over the hedge through that first yard, and down the street. There are some extra special cookies waiting for us there!
  • Hammy: I like cookies!
  • RJ: I knew beneath that crispy outside there was a soft nougaty center in there. Do you mind if I call you Uncle Verne?
  • Verne: With every bone in my body.
  • Lou: If you need help on your next mission there, RJ, just let me know.
  • Ozzie: Try to keep Hammy out of danger. When I tried to teach him how to play dead, he walked around like a zombie and tried to eat our brains.
  • Hammy: Want me to show you what I do with my nuts?
  • RJ: Vert tempting, Hammy, very tempting. But first, I want you to meet me over the hedge and down the road.
  • Heather: Let me know if you see any cute boy opossums over the hedge...
  • Bucky: When I grow up, I wanna be just like RJ!
  • Spike: I wanna be just like RJ, but with spikes!
  • Quillo: I wanna be like RJ, with spikes, and a rocket launcher for an arm!
  • Stella: Hey, RJ, if one of you raccoons bite your own tongue, do y'all need to get a rabies shot?
  • RJ: You know, you're pretty funny, Stella. You should do stand-up. Okay, I should be able to run through this faster than Verne. Of course, I'm not as strong, so pushing those rocks is going to be a little harder. Those cats look dangerous! Okay, I can see Hammy waiting for me just down the road.
  • Hammy: HI, RJ!!!
  • RJ: Easy there, Hamilton. Now, listen up. I want you to act like a vicious mean-eating, rabid squirrel.
  • Hammy: But, rabbits aren't vicious. They're all cute and cuddly--
  • RJ: Ra-BID. Not a ra-BBIT.
  • Hammy: Ohhhh...
  • RJ: Try to protect me from them while I drag their wagon of cookies across the sidewalk!
  • Hammy: Don't worry, RJ, I'll protect you!
  • RJ: We're back, everyone!
  • Hammy: And we brought back an SUV!
  • RJ: Not an SUV, Hammy, a wagon.
  • Verne: And what do we do with this so-called "wagon"?
  • RJ: We fill it sky high with food!
  • Lou: Well, jeepers... What do you need us to do?
  • RJ: I want everyone to help Verne and me collect all the cookies, pizza, and cupcakes we need to fill the wagon.
  • Hammy: I like cookies!
  • RJ: Verne, you and I are going to go on a lot of missions until we collect all the food we need.
  • Verne: Check. Just enter the next log and start choosing new missions.
  • Bucky: I could eat a hundred cookies!
  • Spike: I could eat a million pizzas!
  • Quillo: I could eat a bazillion cupcakes!
  • Lou: So, what do you do after completing a mission?
  • RJ: Just keep playing more and more missions until we collect all the food we need.
  • Hammy How do we know what food to steal?
  • RJ: The Mission Select screen will tell us how many cookies, pizzas, and cupcakes we still need to collect.
  • Hammy: I like--
  • RJ: Cookies, I know. The Mission Select screen will also tell us how much food is in each mission we choose from.
  • Penny: Why are we collecting cookies, pizzas and cupcakes?
  • RJ: Because, Vincent wants-- I mean, because, they're uh, healthy?
  • Penny: Jeepers, that doesn't sound right...
  • Ozzie: What do we do once we fill the wagon?
  • RJ: Then, we need to find a blue cooler to fill with even more food!
  • Ozzie: Why blue? Aren't most of us colorblind?
  • RJ: And nocturnal... Yet here we are.
  • Heather: Can I drive the wagon?!
  • Ozzie: Over my convincingly dead body!
  • Heather: So much for my happy ending.
  • Verne: Enter the log for Chapter 3 and either accept the mission or create a new one.
  • RJ: We need to play the missions in Chapter 3 a lot until we've collected enough food. Great work, everyone! We collected all the cookies, pizza, and cupcakes we needed to!
  • Verne: BARELY... or did you forget that there were a couple times we almost died back there?
  • Ozzie: I DID die a few times back there.
  • RJ: And that's why I need you for our next mission, Ozzie.
  • Verne: Another mission?
  • RJ: Yup. Noe, we need to steal a cooler to fill with even more food!
  • Ozzie: So, what do you need me to do?
  • RJ: Meet me by the house across the street from that human named Gladys and I'll explain there.
  • Bucky: RJ, why did you decide to help all of us?
  • Spike: RJ, why are we collecting more food than we need?
  • Quillo: RJ, why does it look like you're wearing a thief mask?
  • RJ: Uh... heh... heh... never mind that... kids, run along...
  • Stella: If we keep this up, we're gonna have enough food to feed a bear!
  • RJ: Yeah... heh, heh... let's hope so...
  • Penny: We're going to have enough food for TWO winters!
  • Lou: It'll be more precious than a pot of gold! Those dogs are actually kinda cute. Maybe we should think about getting one of our own, Hon?
  • Penny: Yes a terrier would be nice. We could name him "Winky"!
  • Heather: Keep an eye out on my dad out there.
  • RJ: Don't worry, if he gets into trouble he'll probably die.
  • Heather: WHAT?!
  • RJ: I mean... PRETEND to die... you know... "playing possum".
  • Heather: Oh, yeah... right... forgot about that.
  • RJ: Go through the next log and meet me across the street from Glady's house.
  • Ozzie: Yes, sir!
  • Verne: I don't know about this, RJ. I'm going to meet you and Ozzie over there too and make sure it's not too dangerous.
  • RJ: Suit yourself.
  • Hammy: Maybe Ozzie will be lucky enough to be maced and his mission too!
  • RJ: Okay, time to go meet Ozzie by the house with the cooler. Ozzie should be waiting for me at the opening to this backyard's fence. You made it, great!
  • Ozzie: So, what's the plan?
  • Verne: Yeah RJ, that's this brilliant plan of yours?
  • RJ: Ozzie, I need you to sneak by all these humans to the cooler.
  • Ozzie: Cooler...
  • RJ: Then I want you to play dead to distract the humans while we steal the cooler! The timing has to be perfect, so move quickly! Brilliant! Well, then here I go...
  • Verne: This is a moronic idea. Please be careful out there, Ozzie.
  • RJ: Go ahead, Ozzie, you'll do great. Knock 'em dead...
  • Ozzie: Okay, here I am... Show time! Aahh! I'm hit! Limbs growing cold... Must move toward the light... Goodbye, cruel world... It was ... fun...
  • Kid: Whoa, that animal is dying! Hey, everyone, come here!
  • RJ: Great job, Ozzie! We got the cooler! Now, get out of there!
  • Ozzie: You were a great audience! Well, see ya later!
  • Kid: He was still alive! The animal tricked us!
  • Gladys: That's exactly why I hired this guy...
  • Dwayne: Never fear! Dwayne the Vermtech master is here to take care of your animal problem.
  • Verne: Oh no, this guy can't be good... I have to go warn the others!
  • Dwayne: Animal traps have been placed into all of your backyards. I would advise against risking your lives by going back there anymore.
  • Verne: Wait a minute, something's different about this backyard... All the scary pets have been replaced by scary Vermtech traps! That was WAY too dangerous! If we keep this up, someone's really going to get hurt!
  • RJ: Thanks to Ozzie we now have a cooler!
  • Hammy: Yaayyy!!!! Yaayyy!!!! Ya-- Wait, so, um... what does that mean?
  • RJ: It means we can now go steal soup cans, hot dogs, and potato chips to fill it with!
  • Verne: I didn't know if you've noticed, but there are a lot more dangerous Vermtech traps out there now.
  • Penny: Vermtech? Jeepers, what's that?
  • RJ: It's nothing to worry about, folks! Just don't walk into any spikes and you'll be fine.
  • Verne: What?! RJ--
  • RJ: Okay everyone, get back out there and collect more food to fill the cooler. Thanks for the safety tip, Verne.
  • Verne: Grrr... Penny, if I don't come back, tell your kids that their turtle godfather loved them.
  • Penny: Oh, don't talk like that. Of course, if you didn't come back, I could just make RJ their new godfather.
  • Verne: Somehow, that's not comforting.
  • Hammy: When are we going to start collecting nuts, Verne?
  • Verne: I don't know, Hammy. I don't know. Some of those animal traps seemed kind of dangerous, RJ.
  • RJ: Relax, wax-head. It'll be okay. Just go through the next log and collect enough soup cans, hot dogs, and potato chips!
  • Bucky: How come you haven't been able to steal as much stuff as RJ?
  • Spike: Yeah, and why do you always come back with more injuries?
  • Quillo: And why do you cry to yourself at night?
  • Verne: Hey, now! Shouldn't you kids be playing? Somewhere else?
  • Heather: I wish Dad wouldn't be so overprotective. I swear he wants me to live my life in a shell!
  • Verne: Hey, what's wrong with that? It's very safe in here!
  • Heather: Oh, uh ... of course it is. Sorry.
  • Stella: RJ has helped us so far, Verne, there's no need to stop trusting him now.
  • Verne: That seems to be the general opinion...
  • Lou: Lookin' good there, Verne, lookin' good!
  • Verne: Let's hope I don't get managed by those Vermtech traps...
  • Ozzie: You know, you should learn how to play dead too, Verne.
  • Verne: I won't be "playing" dead if we keep this heist stuff up...
  • RJ: Well, congragulations, everybody! We've finally collected enough food to fill the cooler!
  • Lou: All right! Good job there, everyone.
  • Penny: Jeepers, it sure took a lot of hard work.
  • Stella: Does this mean we can start eating it now?
  • RJ: No, no! Please, no one eat everything-- Wait... where's Verne?
  • Hammy: Uh, oh! I know! He, um, said he was "returning."
  • RJ: Returning?
  • Hammy: Yeah, returning the, um, food to the humans?
  • Ozzie: What?!
  • Heather: After all that we did?
  • RJ: NOOO!!!! He can't, he can't! I've got to go catch him!
  • Bucky: He couldn't have gotten far.
  • Spike: He's just a turtle.
  • Quillo': So, hurry up!
  • Heather: I hope Uncle Verne is okay out there...
  • Ozzie: Don't huet him if he looks dead!
  • Lou: Well jeepers, I just can't believe Verne would do something like this.
  • Stella: Well, hurry up and go through the next log and catch him!
  • Penny: This just isn't like Verne. Please don't be too mad at him, RJ.
  • RJ: I have to catch Verne before it's too late! There he is! Oh no, he's already in the backyard! I have to get there before he reaches the house!
  • Verne: Hey, RJ! I'm trapped! in all these lasers! Help me out!
  • RJ: No way! You're trying to return all our food!
  • Verne: The humans are trying to kill us because of this food, RJ! It's too dangerous!
  • RJ: IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! I NEED THAT FOOD!!! Eat golf balls, Verne!
  • Verne Ack! Hahaa! I got you!
  • RJ: Oh, no...
  • Verne: Oh, yeah! I got you GOOD!
  • RJ: No, Verne! I just realized where we are! Keep your voice down!
  • Verne: No! I'm not falling for any more of your smooth talk!
  • RJ: No, Verne! Shhh!!!
  • Nugent: Play? Play?
  • RJ: RUN!!!
  • Nugent: PLAY!!! Play! Play! Play!
  • Verne: Oh no, I'm caught on his chain! He's dragging me behind him!
  • Nugent: Play! Play! Play! Play!
  • RJ: Aaah! Now, he's chasing me!
  • Nugent: Play! Play! Play! Play! Play!
  • RJ: Just hold on her for a bit, Verne! I'll try to outrun him!
  • Nugent: Play! Play! Play! Play! Play! Play!
  • RJ: If I can dodge all the hazards, the dog might run into them!
  • Nugent: Play?
  • RJ: AAAHHHH!!!
  • Verne: AAAAHHHH!!!! At least, we lost the dog!
  • RJ: But, we also lost the food!! OOMF!
  • Verne: OW!!
  • Stella: How could you do this, Verne?
  • Verne: I'm really sorry I lost all the food, everyone.
  • RJ: I think I have a plan to fix it, though...
  • Hammy: I want a plan too1!
  • Verne: What's the plan, RJ?
  • RJ: Gladys is going to have a party tomorrow, so she has TONS of food in her kitchen. Stella will disguise herself as a cat and trick Gladys's cat, Tiger, into giving her the electronic collar. Then, I will help steal the food in the kitchen, while Ozzie turns off Gladys's alarm clock. Then, we run out of there with all the food!
  • Ozzie: Brilliant plan!
  • RJ: Alright, everyone, let's move out!
  • Bucky: I'm going to steal all of Gladys's food!
  • Spike: I'm going to steal all of Gladys's electronics!
  • Quillo: I'm going to steal all of Gladys's pride!
  • Lou: I'm glad you decided to help with the raid, Verne. We couldn't do it without you.
  • Penny: It's good to have you back, Verne.
  • Stella: I'm really nervous about having to walk through Gladys's backyard.
  • Verne: Don't worry, Stella, I believe in you. You'll do fine.
  • Hammy: When do I get a pla?
  • Verne: Just sit tight Hammy, I'm sure we'll need you later... I'm sorry about the food, RJ.
  • RJ: It's okay, Verne, I just really need-- I mean, WE just really need that more food.
  • Ozzie: Don't worry about Stella. I taught her to play dead years ago.
  • Heather: That was amazing when the dog was chasing you guys!
  • Verne: But, I was just being dragged behind him!
  • Heather: Yeah! You were a real skater boy!
  • Stella: Okay, Stella, you can do this. Just watch out for traps and go talk to Tiger the cat... Oh, uh, hi. Um, meow?
  • Tiger: Your eyes... they're luminous!
  • Stella: This is gonna be easier than I thought! Um, excuse me there Tiger honey... can I borrow your electronic collar?
  • RJ: Stell was able to get us in! Okay, now I just have to collect all the food and watch out for Gladys's cats! That's almost all of it! Hopefully Ozzie can turn off Gladys's alarm in no time...
  • Ozzie: How can Gladys sleep with all these kids running around like this? Oh well, if I can just ge to that alarm clock and pull the plug... There, I got it... Oh, no! It's got a battery backup!
  • Alarm Clock: BEEP BEEP!! BEEP BEEP!! BEEP BEEP!!
  • Ozzie: Aahh!! Everyoe! Watch out! Gladys is coming!!!
  • Gladys: Aack! There's animals everywhere! Dwayne, help me!
  • Dwayne: Ah, hah! I've got now, you disgusting vermin!
  • Bucky: What's going to happen to us?
  • Spike: Why didn't RJ try to save us?
  • Quillo: Why did he just run away with all the food?
  • Verne: I don't know, everyone. I just don't know...
  • Vincent: I can't believe you sold me out your friends jut to get me my food!
  • RJ: Don't rub it in.
  • Vincent: I guess I won't kill you then. Ha, ha, look! There goes the Vermtech van with all your friends in it.
  • RJ: I can't believe this is happening... but maybe I can stop it... I have to try to save them! Hold on, everybody! I'm coming to save you!
  • Vincent: Raarrr!!! Not again! RJ, I"M GOING TO GET YOU!!!
  • RJ: I'm here to rescue you!
  • Dwayne: Aaaaaaaah!!!!
  • Vincent: ROOOAR!!
  • RJ: Hang on, everyone! I have to deal with Vincent first!
  • Vincent: RROOWW!!
  • RJ: I beat him! Okay, where is this van heading-- OH, NO! WATCH OUT!
  • Gladys: NOOOOOOO!!!! MY HOUSE! Aha! I'm going to get you!
  • Vincent: Raha! Now, I'm going to eat you!
  • Dwayne: Wait! No! Just don't let him turn on the Depelter Turbo!
  • RJ: Uh, guys! I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP HERE!!!
  • Stella: RJ's in trouble! What are we gonna do?!
  • Verne: I have an idea... Hammy, come here!
  • Hammy: What are you need me to-- MMFFBLBLB!!
  • Verne: If you keep drinking soda, time will stand still for you so you can save RJ before it's too late!
  • Hammy: GLBGLBGLBGULP!!!!
  • Verne: Get across Gladys's yard and turn on the most dangerous Vermtech trap in the yard!
  • Hammy: MMMGGLLL!!!
  • Verne: Turning on the Depelter Turbo should capture the bad guys and save RJ! Now, GO!!!
  • Hammy: RJ only has a little bit of time left, so I have to keep drinking soda to slow down time!
  • Dwayne: OH, NO! The Depelter Turbo has been turned on! RUN!
  • Gladys: NNOOOO!!!!
  • Vincent: RROOAARR!!!!
  • Gladys: Now, I'll never be able to install that pool!
  • Dwayne: I think it's time for me to leave... If they still need help with these animals, they're going to have to call my brother...
  • RJ: I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused everyone... I guess I'll be going now.
  • Verne: Forget it, RJ, you're one of us now. You're staying!
  • RJ: Really?
  • Verne: Yes, really. You are now part of our family!

DS Version[edit]

  • RJ: Almost there, gang. Come on, Verne, keep up. Too slow, too slow!
  • Verne: I'm a turtle, you idiot.
  • Ozzie: We're not gonna make it.
  • RJ: Of course we're gonna make it. We'll always make it. We-- Verne, you're gonna faint. You're gonna make it.
  • RJ: Woo-hoo! (Sighs) That gets the old journal going, huh?
  • Stella: Yeah, just great. Ain't no way. That was worth three bags of chips and a bag of a cookies.
  • RJ: Okay, okay, I admit the intelligence on that mission. Pretty more acrovate.
  • Verne: Yes. But, we're face with fear is a lack of intelligence. That's for sure.
  • RJ: Now, Verne, there's no reason to start picking on Hammy. Just because--
  • Hammy: Huh? What'd I do?
  • Verne: Nothing, Hammy. Forget it. It's just crazy as constantly having stealing food from the humans on order to survive.
  • Lou: Yeah, but, Verne, what choice do we have? They build our houses all around us. We can't just roll over and play dead. You know. No offense there, Ozzie.
  • Ozzie: Huh? Oh, none taken, Lou.
  • RJ Alright, kids, I know you're still hungry. You'll stay here and I'll try to rustle up a main course. There's plenty of food lying around here. I need to grab all of it and bring it back to the exit point. Ha. Man of Suberia.
  • All: Ooh.
  • Penny: Jeepers. What is that?
  • RJ: You guys stay here. Hammy, Verne and I will check it out.
  • Verne: We will?
  • Gladys: Quickly, now. If you'll hurry, you'll get a twizz kit. Before, sunset.
  • Construction Worker: Sorry, Ms. Sharp, but your 4. pm. we're off the clock. Union rolls.
  • Gladys: Wonderful. Fine. Be here at 8 am not a minute later. I don't want a single tree standing when you're done. Nothing must interfere with my triumph and return to the neighborhood.
  • Verne: She's back. I can't believe she's back. And, and now she's out to destroy what's left into our forest. What do we do?
  • Hammy: Too bad we're not like those eagles.
  • 'RJ": Eagles?
  • Hammy: Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, oh. I saw the show on TV. Where these eagles start living a old human building. It was gonna get demolish and the other human said they could've wreck it because the eagles we're, um, ungendered.
  • Verne: You mean endangered?
  • Hammy: Uh, could've been.
  • RJ: That's it.
  • Verne: What's what? Oh, no. I know that look. Not a good look.
  • RJ: Come on, let's tell the others what's going on. We've got work to do.
  • Verne: Uh, but-- (Sighs)
  • RJ: Now that everyone knows Gladys is back, we need to find out more about endangered animals. I think I know where we can find a wildlife book that could have the info we need.
  • Verne: Why is it I don't like this plan even though I don't understand it yet?
  • Ozzie: I'm keeping an eye on the crazy lady's back yard. So far, so good.
  • Hammy: Hey RJ, endangered animals gave nuts?
  • Stella: If that Gladys lady tries to steal the food in this log, she'll stink 'til she's eighty. Promise you that.
  • Heather: How can I help you? All the food we collect is measured in bites. If we save enough bites maybe we can trade them for something later on!
  • Penny: Hey, how are you doing there? Need a little help? Oh, sure. That spinning level exit leads to a human house. I'll betcha find more exits and more houses later on!
  • Bucky: I thought I smell chips in here. I sure hope we don't have to move.
  • RJ: I knew I remembered seeing a Wildlife Book in this house... and here it is! But, it's way too heavy for me. Good thing I brought Verne along. I'm sure that timid turtle could lift it. So, according to this book, there are some endangered species not far from here. In fact I think I know a few of 'em. One of these... ...and one of these... ...oh, and THAT guy. Heh, what a weasel!
  • Lou: Didja mean "ferret", RJ? Anyhoo, how can these fellas help us out, now?
  • RJ: If we can convince them to move here and then force the humans to notice, we can get these woods protected.
  • Verne: Heeey... that actually makes sense. And it doesn't even sound dangerous.
  • RJ: Hmm... right on one, wrong on two, Verne. I'm thinking in order to get these characters to relocate here, we're going to have to skip "beg" and "borrow" and go straight to "steal".
  • Verne: oh, great. There goes my tail...
  • Ozzie: But, what about those huge machines? Aren't the humans going to use them to clear the woods in the morning? WE'RE OUT OF TIME!
  • RJ: Then, we'll have to buy ourselves some more... by disabling those machines tonight. Yikes! Gladys's construction site is crawling with guard dogs! VERNE! I could use a little help right about now!
  • Verne: That sounded like RJ! I'll bet he went to get the Spark Plugs from the bulldozer without me. Well, I'd better to go find him before he gets into some trouble.
  • Gladys: Hmm... should those wires be hanging out of this bulldozer? You're late. This had better not be a sign of incompetence. I do not tolerate incompletence, Mr. Smith, from my home builders on my taxidermists...
  • Henri: Apologies, Mrs. Sharp. It shan't happen again. Now with regard to this order of yours... ...one raccoon, one turtle, one squirrel, one skunk, two oppossums and five porcupines...
  • Gladys: Yes. Freshly killed, stuffed and mounted.
  • Henri: It might be difficult for me to handle the actual captures in such a short time. I can't be everywhere at once...
  • Gladys: That won't be a concern. You'll get the call if anyone spots these creatures poking their noses where they don't belong. Thank you can handle the rest?
  • Henri: Taxidermy is not just my job, madame, it's my art. The final pieces will be so lifelike you'll swear they'll still breathing.
  • Gladys: As long as they're not. Please call me when you've captured those horrible little creatures, Henri.
  • Henri: It's pronouced "Awn-rie"!
  • RJ: Jack here is a black-footed ferret, just like we saw in the book. He's interested in moving here permanently.
  • Jack: I wasn't sure about moving in, but RJ told me my store could do a brisk business around here.
  • Verne: Store?
  • RJ: Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention it, Verne... Jack here is a salesman. We'll need to get him supplies to set up shop.
  • Verne: Oh, is that all?
  • RJ: Hey, I know it's extra work, but think of the Gadgets we could buy once we have a shop right here in the forest.
  • Jack: This abacus will be great for tracking my enormous profit margains. Oh, did I say that ou loud?
  • Henri: Dwayne? Are you there? Aaaaaahhh!!
  • Dwayne: Ha, ha, ha! Henri, you should have seen the look on your face.
  • Henri: Tres jolie, Dwayne...
  • Dwayne: Man, you're jittery. You sure you're up for this job?
  • Henri: But, of course. I just need better equipment. Speaking of which...?
  • Dwayne: If I could help you more, I would. But, you know I've got to lay low after what happened. These traps and improved artillery should do the trick. 'Course, that's what I thought last time...
  • Henri: These traps won't mangle their skins, right?
  • Dwayne: No, Henri, the animals will be in good shape for your taxidermy "art".
  • Henri: Magnifique!
  • Dwayne: Seriosuly, why did Mom ever allow you to go to art camp? It really messed you up.
  • Henri: Just shut up and help me unload this.
  • RJ: Verne, this is Slyvia... she's a gray bat. Very rare, highly endangered.
  • Sylvia: Man, are my arms tired. You guys live out in the middle of nowhere, you know that? Please, show me the laboratory.
  • Verne: Laboratory?! RJ, is this another of those things you forgot to mention?
  • Sylvia: Is there something wrong with my lab? If so, I'm leaving.
  • RJ: No, no, wait. You must excuse my cold-blooded friend here, he's a little slow on chilly days.
  • Verne: What?
  • RJ: What he meant to say is that your laboratory will be ready shortly, along with the food supply you'll need for winter. Right, Verne?
  • Verne: But -- I -- er -- right...
  • Henri: Oh, that's perfect. Just the slightest upward tilt to the jaw. Oh, you'll be beautiful. Not just lifelike, but so much more--
  • Gladys: What are you doing, Henri Smith?!
  • Henri: AAAAAAHHHH!!!! Scare Blue, Ms. Sharp! You nearly gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here--
  • Gladys: I asked you first, you solvenly buffoon. What's that... are you drawing pictures?!
  • Henri: Yes, I'm planning out the poses for the animals you ordered--
  • Gladys: Poses? POSES?! Do you really think I give a squirrel's tail about their poses?! They're out there, Henri, stealing people's food! Maybe even sabotating my construction equipment so I can't build my fabulous pool!
  • Henri: That seems a bit far-fetched, Ms. Sharp. They're only animals-
  • Gladys: SHUT UP! NOW! I promised everyone in the development that my new assoicate will protect people's houses from break-ins. My former associate, Dwayne, failed me miserably. You won't, right?
  • Henri: Of course not! Just because I'm the younger brother, doesn't mean--
  • Gladys: WHAT"?! "Brother"?!! You're that idiot exterminator's brother?
  • Henri: Uh... oui?
  • Gladys: I don't have time for this. Catch and kill those animals, "Awn-rie", and fast. Otherwise I'll have you AND your pathetic brother roasting on a spit.
  • RJ: Verne, say hello to Samson, the ivory-build woodpecker.
  • Samson: You can call me, sir. Why, when I was your age we called everyone, sir.
  • Verne: Sure Samson, sir. RJ tells me you came here to retire?
  • Samson: Yes sir, I'm through with this maverick life. It's time to settle down and watch other folks learn life's hard lessons.
  • Verne: Is it true you're the last of your kind?
  • Samson: Well now, I haven't seen the another one of my kind in years, but I reckon there could be others. Then again I'm the toughest bird you'll ever cross so don't you forget it!
  • Verne: Yes sir, sir!
  • Samson: Alright then, you know what things I need to settle here, so hurry up and get 'em.
  • Sylvia: Those porcupine kids are pretty smart. I wonder if they could be my interns?
  • Allie: The handbook says raccoons like peanuts, sweets, fruits, peanut butter...
  • Charli: So that explains why he grabed the Peanut Butter Provenders instead of the mint Mouthfuls.
  • Allie: But, did you see? After he grabbed the cookies it almost looked like he was waiting for us to follow him -- hey, look!
  • Charli and Allie: Cookies!!
  • Allie: This place is icky! I don't know why I ever became a Trail Guide Gal, I hate outdoors...
  • Charli: Never mind that, if we don't find those cookies, we'll never set our sales merit badges! Whoa... look over there!
  • Allie: Remember, that movie on conversation they made us watch? I think we just struck the merit badge mother lode! An ivory billed woodpecker! It says here they're almost extinct. I can't believe it!
  • Charli: And isn't that a black-footed ferret? And a grey bat?!
  • Allie: You're right! These are, like, totally endangered species! And what's that one over there? Oh, it's just that stupid, ugly raccoon we chased in here.
  • Charli: Forget him, let met get some pictures!
  • Gladys: "...and with the starting discovery of not one but three species of endangered wildlife, local lawmakers quickly declared Camelot Estates' lone undeveloped section to be a protected animal sanctuary..." GAAAAHH!! I'd be swimming in my new pool by now, if only Henri had figured out where those stupid pests lived. Hmmm... Well, well, well. What have we here?
  • RJ: Look at that! They're hauling away the equipment. I guess can say my little plan was something of a success, eh, Verne?
  • Verne: It seems so. Not bad for a "stupid ugly raccoon"...
  • RJ: Don't ruin my moment, Verne.
  • Verne: Still... I don't know. Something doesn't feel right. My tail is still tingling.
  • RJ: Verne, buddy, you should really have that looked at by a doctor.
  • Verne: The tail never lies.
  • Bucky, Spike and Quillo: Mommmy!!!
  • Verne: That sounded like Spike, Quilo and Bucky!
  • RJ: Let's go.
  • Verne: Where is everybody?
  • RJ: Something isn't right. I smell the Taxidermist. Our friends must be inside that horrible woman's new house. We need to find a way in.
  • Verne: Yeah, without ending up stuffed by that Taxidermist. We should be able to enter the house through here and rescue our friends.
  • RJ: We should be able to enter the house through here and rescue our friends.
  • Hammy: Wow. RJ and Verne sure a good entrance... Think, Hammy, think. What was RJ's plan again?
  • RJ: Find our friends and don't get caught...
  • Hammy: Oh, right. That was it. Hey guys, what are you doing in that cage? Ohhh... right. Forgot. I'm supposed to get you out... somehow...
  • Stella: It's no use, Hammy, this look is too risky, even for RJ. We're stuck in here 'til we're stuffed an' mounted.
  • Slyvia: Maybe not! If we can expose what's happened here to the other humans, we might all get released back to the wild. I've been looking at the security system here and I think I know a way we can get that to happen Listen closely...
  • Verne: Good job, Hammy. Now that, that first laser is off, RJ and I can go open that cage and release our friends.
  • Hammy: Uh... no. That bat girl told me we can't open the lock. Too tough, even for RJ. She wants you to flip a switch to change how that crazy lady's, uh, sucker cutie system works...
  • RJ: You mean security system? I get it! Sylvia want us to reverse the feed on those camera, broadcast them to the entire neighborhood!
  • Verne: What good will that do? It show all the humans that Glady's hasn't unpacked?
  • RJ: Will explain later, Verne. Right now you and I need to find that satellite control switch, pronto. Perfect, the Satellite Dish is on! It's all up to Hammy now.
  • Hammy: This is it! I need to find that crazy lady and get her to chase me past the security camera. RJ is betting she'll say some pretty bad stuff if I get her mad enough!
  • Gladys: Once I get rid of those pesky endangered animals to one will stop me from clearing those woods. Once I'm Homeowners Association President again, I'll be able to get this development back under control. These small-minded people will learn to appreciate the contributions I make to this neighborhood... or else!
  • Hammy: Here crazy lady, your fans await!
  • Gladys: Come back here, you little monsters! My Taxidermist friend here has plans for you!
  • Allie: Hold it right there, Miss Sharp!
  • Gladys: Now, what?!
  • Charli: We know everything you've been up to.
  • Gladys: I -- I don't know what you're talking about.
  • Charli: Capturing endangered species is against the law. We figured the police and Channel Five News would want to know.
  • Gladys: It wasn't me... it has this Taxidermist! He did it!
  • Police: You're both under arrest. We'll sort the rest out down at the station. Let's go...
  • RJ: Former HOA President to Face Charges." Nice! That's the end of her, at least for awhile. Looks like things will finally start to get back to normal around here.
  • Verne: Well, as normal as things get for us, considering we steal junk food to stay alive.
  • RJ: Yeah, about that...
  • Verne: Still, I guess it's a price worth paying to stay here in our beautiful, PROTECTED home. Pass me some chips, RJ.
  • RJ: You mean the chips that the animal wildlife folks hauled away to maintain our "pristine environment"?
  • Verne: What?! They... they took all our food?
  • RJ: Every last bite. But, it's okay. You want food, Verne, let's go get some. It's there for the taking, just over the hedge!
  • Ozzie: Can I stop watching that construction site now? I'm nocturnal, for Pete's sake!
  • Verne: Why do you know, my tail has stopped tingling!
  • Hammy: If you're going to get food, let me know.
  • Samson: You got it easy, kid. Why, when I was an egg I had to travel uphill both ways. In the snow!
  • Stella: Well, at least name 'a them new arrivals have completed about my... you know. Altitude.
  • Sylvia: Actually, RJ, robots can beat both ninjas and pirates.
  • Jack: Welcome to Jack's where we pass the savings onto you! Occasionally.

External links[edit]

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