[after singing "When You Wish Upon a Star"] Pretty, huh? I'll bet a lot of you folks don't believe that. About a wish coming true, do you? Well, I didn't either. Of course, I'm just a cricket singing my way from hearth to hearth, but let me tell you what made me change my mind.
[after Pinocchio is brought to life] What they can't do it these days.
[when Pinocchio is locked in a cage] Oh, buck up, son. It could be worse. Be cheerful... [breaks down and cries] LIKE ME!! [Pinocchio begins to sob harder, and a tear falls on his hat] Awwww, take it easy, son. Come on, blow. [Pinocchio blows his nose on the handkerchief] Atta boy. [Jiminy also blows his nose with the handkerchief] Oh, well, it stopped raining anyway.
A fine conscience I turned out to be!
What does an actor want with a conscience, anyway?
Go ahead. Make a fool of yourself, then maybe you'll listen to your conscience.
[while at Pleasure Island] Pinocchio! [coughs] Pinocchio! There's something phony about all of this. I've got to get him outta here.
Pinocchio! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy? Look at yourself! Smokin'? [pulls the flattened cigar out of Pinocchio's mouth] Playin' pool? [angrily kicks the #8 ball and stubs his toe] OWW! You're coming right home with me this minute!
Jiminy Cricket: [looks at his reflection in a paintpot and turns to Pinocchio] Oh! I almost forgot about you. Well, Pinoke. You and I will need to have a little heart-to-heart talk.
Jiminy: Well, you wanna be a real boy, don't you?
Pinocchio:[nods his head] Uh-huh.
Jiminy: All right. Sit down, son. [Pinocchio drops down on the bench] Now, you see, the world is full of temptations.
Jiminy: Yep, temptations. They're the wrong things that seem right at the time, but, uh.... even though the right things may seem wrong, sometimes, or sometimes, the wrong things [chuckles] may be right at the wrong time, or vice-versa. [clears throat] Understand?
Pinocchio: [starts to nod, then shakes his head] Uh-uh. [Jiminy handpalms] But I'm gonna do right.
Jiminy: Attaboy, Pinoke! And I'm gonna help ya. Now if you need me at anytime, just whistle. Like this. [whistles]
Pinocchio: Like this? [Blows, but no sound comes out]
Jiminy: No, no, try it again, Pinoke.
Pinocchio: Like this? [Blows again, but no sound comes out]
Jiminy: No, son. Now listen. [whistles three times]
Pinocchio:[blows air three more times and whistles on the third attempt]
Jiminy: That's it! Come on now, let's sing it!
Pinocchio:[singing] I got no strings to hold me do... [trips and falls down the stairs and gets his nose stuck in a hole; the audience laugh]
Jiminy: Go ahead. Make a fool of yourself, then maybe you'll listened to your conscience!
Stromboli: [turns his face red and angrily curses in Italian, until he realizes the audience is laughing] Cute kid. [speaks in Italian]
[Geppetto has prepared dinner for himself, Figaro, and Cleo, as he paces around the dining room waiting for Pinocchio to come home from school]
Geppetto: What could have happened to him? Where could he be at this hour? [puts on his hat, coat, and scarf, and then takes a lantern] I'd better go out again, and look for him. [to Figaro and Cleo] And remember, nobody eats a bite, until I find him.
[Stromboli is counting his money in his wagon while Pinocchio sits on a baguette bread]
Stromboli: [singing] I buy a new suit and I swing-a that cane! I eat-a the best and I drink-a champagne! I got-a no strings on-a me! [chuckles heartily] Bravo, Pinocchio!
Pinocchio: They like me!
Stromboli: [slides a stack of coins across the table with his machete] Mmmmmm.... 200. You are sensational!
Pinocchio: You mean I'm good?
Stromboli: [slides another stack] Ah, 300! You are-a COLOSSAL! [chops some bread very close to Pinocchio]
Pinocchio: Does that mean I'm an actor?
Stromboli: [bites an onion] Sure! I will push you in the public's eye! Your face, she will-a be on everybody's tongue!
Pinocchio: [sheds tears due to Stromboli's onion breath] Will she?
Stromboli: Yeah— Huh? [notices a washer in his stacks of coins] What's this?!? [he bites down on the washer and angrily curses in Italian until he realizes Pinocchio is listening; he calms down and gives the bent washer to him] For you, my little Pinocchio.
Pinocchio: For me? Gee, thanks! I'll run right home and tell my father!
Stromboli: Home? [spits out the wine he was drinking][coughs] Home? [laughs] Oh, sure! Going-a home-a to your father! [laughs] Oh, that is very comical!
Pinocchio: You mean it's funny?
Stromboli: [laughs] Oh, sure! Yes. [Pinocchio joins him in laughing]
Pinocchio: I'll be back in the morning!
Stromboli: Be back in the morning. [speaks in Italian for a moment] Going home.
[Stromboli realizes that Pinocchio is being serious and grabs him while angrily cursing; he realizes Pinocchio is still listening and joins him in laughing until he throws him in a birdcage]
Stromboli: There! This will be your home, [snaps the padlock shut] where I can find-a you always!
Pinocchio:[shakes the birdcage bars] No! No! No!
Stromboli: Yes! Yes! Yes! To me, you are-a belonging. We will tour-a the world! Paris, London, Monte Carlo, Constantinop-ily!
Pinocchio: No! No!
Stromboli: [slams his hand on the table] YES! We start TONIGHT! Mmm... [he pours all of his money into a sack] You will make lots of-a money.... [slams the sack into his cummerbund] FOR ME! [picks up his axe] And when you are growing too old, you will make good.... FIREWOOD!!![throws his axe, which lands on a broken puppet, and laughs maniacally]
Pinocchio: [shakes the birdcage bars] Let me outta here! I gotta get out! You can't keep me—!
Stromboli: QUIET!!!!!SHUT UP!!! Before I knock-a you silly! Goodnight.... [blows a kiss to Pinocchio] ....my little wooden gold mine! [laughs, and then slams the wagon door, blowing out the lantern and making the room completely dark]
Pinocchio: No! No! Wait! [shakes the birdcage bars] Let me out! I'll tell my father!
Stromboli: [to his horses] Giddyap! Get along there!
[the wagon starts moving]
Pinocchio: Jiminy! Oh, Jiminy! [whistles] Oh, Jiminy, where are you? [whistles] Jiminy Cricket!
[Pinocchio heard a thunderclap and he starts sobbing]
Jiminy: [about Stromboli] Well, there he goes. Sitting in the lap of luxury with the world at his feet. Oh, well. I can always say I knew him, when I met him. I'll just get out of his life quietly. But, I would like to wish him luck, though. Sure. Why not? [enters Stromboli's wagon, and then looks for Pinocchio] Pinocchio? Pinocchio? It's me. Your old friend, Jiminy. Remember?
Pinocchio: Jiminy! Gee, I'm glad to see you!
Jiminy: Pinocchio! What's happened? [hops up onto the birdcage] What did he do to you?
Pinocchio: [about Stromboli] Oh, he was mad! He said he's going to push my face into everybody's eyes!
Jiminy: Oh, yeah?!
Pinocchio: And...And just because I'm a gold brick, he...he's going to chop me into firewood!
Jiminy: Oh, is that so?
Jiminy: [Pinocchio nods] Now, don't you worry, son. I'll have you out of here in no time at all. Why, this is...this is just as easy as rolling off a... Woah! [falls into the padlock]
[Pinocchio listens, as Jiminy tries to open the padlock up]
Jiminy: [comes out of the padlock, takes his coat and hat off, hangs them both on the left side of the padlock, and then to Pinocchio] Kind of rusty.
[Pinocchio watches, as Jiminy continues opening the padlock up]
Jiminy: Needs a little oil!
[Jiminy's shouting echoes throughout the insides of the padlock]
Jiminy: [to the audience] That's what I said. [continues opening the padlock up with his umbrella]
[Pinocchio takes a closer look, as Jiminy continues opening the padlock up with his umbrella, loosening the spring in the process; suddenly, the spring breaks off of the padlock, sending Jiminy flying out of the padlock]
Jiminy: Woo-hoo-hoo! [Pinocchio watches, as the spring continues flying from the padlock, and then lands straight right into one side of the birdcage]
Jiminy: [as he hangs onto one side of the birdcage via the spring] Ha ha ha! Must be one of the old models. Ha ha!
Pinocchio: You mean you can't open it?
Jiminy: Yeah. It looks pretty hopeless, though. [Pinocchio gives him his coat and hat, and then watches him put his coat and hat back on him] But, it'll take a miracle to get us out of here.
[Geppetto searches for Pinocchio out in the streets of the village]
Geppetto: Pinocchio! Pinocchio!
[Geppetto gets interrupted by Stromboli's wagon approaching]
Stromboli: [to his horse] Giddyap! [speaks in Italian]
[Geppetto continues searching for Pinocchio through the streets of the village]
[Geppetto doesn't realize that Pinocchio is inside Stromboli's wagon, and then continues searching for Pinocchio out in the streets of the village, as he goes the opposite direction of Stromboli's wagon]
Jiminy: A fine conscience I turned out to be.
Pinocchio: I should've listened to you, Jiminy.
Jiminy: No, it was my fault. I should've go out on you.
Pinocchio: [starts crying] Guess I'll never see my father again.
Jiminy: Oh, buck up, son. It couldn't be worse. [starts crying] Be cheerful, like me.
Pinocchio: [sobs, as his tear lands onto Jiminy's hat]
Jiminy: Oh. Take it easy, son. [gets out a tissue from his shirt, and holds it onto Pinocchio's nose] Come on. Blow.
Pinocchio: [blows his nose into the tissue]
Jiminy: Attaboy. [blows his nose into the same tissue] Oh, well. It stopped raining, anyway.
[outside Stromboli's wagon window, the clouds cleared up, and revealed the starry night sky, as the wishing star approaches Stromboli's wagon, and then enters Stromboli's wagon]
Jiminy: Hey. It's that star again. The lady that brought you to life! The... The... The Blue Fairy! Woah! Woah! [Pinocchio falls off of the birdcage's perch, as he hops onto another side of the birdcage]
Pinocchio: [gets up] What'll she say?! What'll I tell her?!
Jiminy: Um... Uh... You might tell her the truth! [hides inside the birdcage's birdfeeder, as Pinocchio hides his head right between his legs like an ostrich]
[the Blue Fairy appears, and then looks around Stromboli's wagon, as Pinocchio watches in amazement]
The Blue Fairy: Why, Pinocchio.
Pinocchio: Oh. Hello.
The Blue Fairy: And Sir Jiminy.
Jiminy: Well, uh, this is a pleasant surprise. Ha ha!
The Blue Fairy: Pinocchio, why didn't you go to school?
Pinocchio: School? Well, I... [looks up at Jiminy]
Jiminy: Go ahead. Tell her.
Pinocchio: I was going to school till I met somebody.
The Blue Fairy: Met somebody?
Pinocchio: Yeah, uh...two big monsters with big, green eyes!
[his nose grows a little]
Pinocchio: Why, I... I...
The Blue Fairy: Monsters? Weren't you afraid?
Pinocchio: No, ma'am, but they tied me in a big sack.
[his nose grows a little more and sprouts leaves]
The Blue Fairy: You don't say. And where was Sir Jiminy?
Pinocchio: Huh? Oh, Jiminy. Um... Uh...
Jiminy: [jumps in front of Pinocchio] Psst! Leave me out of this.
Pinocchio: They put him in a little sack.
[his nose grows even more, taking Jiminy along with it]
The Blue Fairy: No!
[his nose sprouts flowers]
The Blue Fairy: How did you escape?
Pinocchio: I didn't. They chopped me into firewood!
[his nose grows again, and a nest with baby birds sprouts at the end of it]
Pinocchio: Oh, look! My nose! What's happened?
The Blue Fairy: Perhaps you haven't been telling the truth, Pinocchio.
Pinocchio: Oh, but I have! Every single word!
[the branch with the nest on his nose withers, and the birds fly away, whistling]
Pinocchio: Oh, please help me! I'm awful sorry!
The Blue Fairy: You see, Pinocchio, a lie keeps growing and growing, until it's as plain as a nose on your face.
Jiminy: She's right, Pinoke. You better come clean.
Pinocchio: I'll never lie again! Honest, I won't!
Jiminy: [to the Blue Fairy] Please, your honor...uh...I mean, Miss Fairy, give him another chance, for mother's sake. Will you? Huh?
The Blue Fairy: I'll forgive you this once. But remember, Pinocchio. A boy who won't be good, might just as well be made of wood.
Pinocchio and Jiminy: [in unison] We'll be good, won't we?
The Blue Fairy: Very well. But, this is the last time I can help you.
[the Blue Fairy touches the birdcage with her magic wand, and then disappears; Pinocchio's nose turns back to normal, and the birdcage door opens, as the padlock opens while on the birdcage door]
Pinocchio: Gee, look, Jiminy! My nose!
Jiminy: Hey! We're free! Come on, Pinoke!
[They sneak out from the back of the wagon while Stromboli is singing]
Stromboli: [Singing] I buy a new suit and I swing-a that cane. I eat-a the bread and I drink-a champaigne! I got-a no strings on-a me!
Jiminy: Toodle-oo, Stromboli!
Pinocchio: [Yelling] Goodbye, Mr. Strombo...!
Jiminy: Shhh!!! [Whispering] Quiet. Let's get out of here before something else happens. [They rush home to the village]
[Honest John is telling the Coachman their success at fooling Pinocchio]
Honest John: [Singing] Hi diddle dee-dee! An actor's life for me! A high silk hat and a silver cane! A watch of gold with a diamond chain! Hi diddle dee-day! An actor's life is gay! It's great to be a celebrity! An actor's life for me! [Laughs] And the dummy fell for it! [Laughs] Hook, line, and sinker! [Laughs as Gideon takes the ring he smoked from his cigar and dunks it in his beer like dunking a donut in coffee, bites into it, and hiccups] And he still thinks we're his friends! And what did Stromboli pay? Plenty! [He lays a small bag of money on the table and laughs as the Coachman grins wickedly] That shows you how low Honest John will stoop. [Laughs] Eh, Giddy? [Gideon nods in agreement and hiccups, spilling his beer all over himself] Now then, uh, Coachman, [Takes a smoke from his cigar] What's your proposition?
Coachman: Well, [He takes a few smokes from his pipe and reaches into his coat pocket] How would you blokes like to make some real money? [He drops an even larger bag of money on the table, making Honest John's smaller money bag jump]
Honest John: Well! And who do we have to, uh...? [Makes throat-slitting gesture]
Coachman: No, no! Nothing like that. You see... [He and Honest John look around the bar to see if anyone else is listening, though the bar is quite empty, whispering] I'm collecting stupid little boys.
Honest John: [Whispers back] Stupid little boys?
Coachman: [Continues whispering] You know, the disobedient ones who play hooky from school.
Honest John: Oh!
Coachman: And you see, it's very simple. [Whispers inaudibly in Honest John's ear]
Honest John: [Listening and nodding] Yes. Oh, yes. [Gideon puts his ear to Honest John's other ear and cleans it out for him so he can listen as well]
Coachman: And I takes 'em to Pleasure Island.
Honest John: Ah, Pleasure Island... [Suddenly shocked and horrified] Pleasure Island?! But the law! Suppose they...?!
Coachman: No, no. There's no risk. They never come back...as BOYS!!![Leans in close with a sadistic and malevolent grin, his face taking on an almost demonic appearance. Honest John and Gideon both recoil in fear as he laughs maniacally before pulling them closer] Now, I got a coachload leavin' at midnight. We'll meet at the crossroads. And no double-crossin'!
Honest John: No, sir.
Coachman: Scout around. And any good prospects you can find, bring 'em to me!
Honest John: Yes, chief.
Coachman: I'll pay you well! I've got plenty o' gold!
Honest John: Yes, yes.
[meanwhile, Pinocchio and Jiminy are walking home after escaping from Stromboli]
Pinocchio: No, sir. Nothing can stop me now! I'll make good this time!
Jiminy: You'd better!
Pinocchio: I will. I'm going to school!
Jiminy: That's the stuff, Pinoke!
Pinocchio: I'd rather be smart than be an actor!
Jiminy: Now you're talkin'! C'mon, slowpoke! I'll race you home!
[they race back to Geppetto's workshop until Honest John grabs Pinocchio by the back of his overalls with his cane]
Honest John: Well, well, Pinocchio! What's your rush?
Pinocchio: I gotta beat Jiminy home. [tips his hat] Oh, hello.
Honest John: Well, how was the great actor?
Pinocchio: I don't wanna be an actor! Stromboli was terrible!
Honest John: He was?!
Pinocchio: [Gideon still holds the back of Pinocchio's overalls with Honest John's cane] Yeah! He locked me in a birdcage!
Honest John: He did?!
Pinocchio: Uh-huh, and I learned my lesson. I'm goin'...
Honest John: Oh, you poor, poor boy! You must be a nervous wreck. That's it! You are a nervous wreck! We must diagnose this case at once! Quick, doctor! Your notebook! [Gideon pulls out a notepad and a pencil] Bless, my soul. [looks at Pinocchio's arm to check his pulse] Mmm... Mm-hmm! [measures Pinocchio's pulse with a ruler] My, my.... Just as I thought. A slight touch of nolitary complications with bucolic semi-lunar contraptions of the flying trapezes. [Gideon writes down what he thinks he said; Honest John uses his glasses as a tongue depressor while he looks into Pinocchio's mouth] Mm-hmm.... Say "hippopotamus".
Honest John: I knew it! Compound transmission in the pandemonium custom in the span frantic disintegration. [Gideon writes in the middle of the air] Close your eyes. [Pinocchio closes his eyes hard] What do you see?
Honest John: [holds a spotted handkerchief in front of Pinocchio] Open them up. [Pinocchio does so] Now, what do you see?
Honest John: Aha! Now, that heart! [Peels up Pinocchio's shirt untucked, listens for his heartbeat, and makes a jazzy drumming solo with his cane. Gideon dances while writing down the information] Ooh, my goodness! A palpitating syncopation of the killer-diller with a wicky-wacky stomping of the floy joy! [Bonks Gideon on the head with his cane] Quick, doctor! That report! [Takes the notepad from a dizzy Gideon and looks at what he wrote, which was nothing but scribbles] Oh! This makes it perfectly clear! My boy, you are allergic!
Honest John: Yes, and there is only one cure! A vacation! On Pleasure Island! [Winks at Gideon]
Pinocchio: Pleasure Island?
Honest John: Yes! That happy land of carefree boys where everyday's a holiday!
Pinocchio: But I can't go. I--
Honest John: Why, of course you can go! I'm giving you my ticket! [Produces a playing card in his hand and gives it to Pinocchio]
Pinocchio: Thanks, but I'm...
Honest John: Oh, tut, tut, tut! I insist! Your health comes first! Come! The coach departs at midnight! [He and Gideon take Pinocchio to the coach to Pleasure Island, singing] Hi diddle dee-dee! It's Pleasure Isle for me! Where every day is a holiday and kids have nothing to do but play. Hi diddle dee-doo! If what I hear is true. A land of pudding and marmalade. It's Pleasure Isle for me!
Jiminy: Pinoke! Oh, Pinoke! Now where do you suppose he- [Turns around to see Pinocchio, Honest John, and Gideon disappear around the corner, and runs after them] Huh!? Pinocchio! Hey! Come back here!
[On the coach to Pleasure Island, the boys are chatting and laughing. Pinocchio and Lampwick are riding up front with the Coachman, while Jiminy hides under the coach, getting sick and coughing from the dust the donkeys pulling the coach are kicking up]
Coachman: [cracks his whip] Giddyap!
Jiminy: Well... [coughs] Here we go again.
Lampwick: Me name's Lampwick. What's yours?
Pinocchio: [tips his hat] Pinocchio!
Lampwick: Have you ever been to Pleasure Island?
Pinocchio: Uh-uh. [shows Lampwick his "ticket" from Honest John] But Mr. Honest John gave me...
Lampwick: Me, neither, but they say that it's a swell joint! No school, no cops. You can tear the joint apart. And nobody says a word. [the Coachman smiles evilly and cracks his whip again]
Pinocchio: Mr. Honest John gave me...
Lampwick: Loaf around, plenty to eat, plenty to drink. And it's all free!
Pinocchio: Honest John...
Lampwick: Boy, that's the place. I can hardly wait! [shoots his slingshot at the donkeys]
[they arrive at the docks and board a showboat; they arrive at Pleasure Island, which has various elements any amusement park has, including carnival rides; balloons of clowns and policemen float above; the Coachman gestures the boys in]
Barker: Right here, boys! Right here! Get your cake, pie, dill pickles, and ice cream! Eat all you can! Be a glutton! Stuff yourselves up! It's all free, boys! It's all free! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
[inside a tent, the boys are pouncing on each other and punching each other]
Roughhouse Animatronic: The Roughhouse! The Roughhouse! It's the roughest, toughest joint you've ever seen! Come in and pick a fight, boys!
Lampwick: Oh, boy! A scrap! C'mon! Let's go in and poke somebody in the nose! [tosses away his roast chicken]
Lampwick: Ah, just for the fun of it.
Pinocchio: OK, Lampy! [tosses away his ice cream cone and pie and strolls into the Roughhouse with Lampwick; In another part of Pleasure Island, animatronic Indians are throwing fat cigars to the boys]
Barker: Tobacco Row! Tobacco Row! Get your cigars, cigarettes, and chewing tobacco! Come in and smoke your heads off! There's nobody here to stop you!
[meanwhile, Jiminy is trying to avoid the boys running around, trying to step on him]
Jiminy: Pinocchio! [Coughs] Pinocchio! There's something phony about all of this. I gotta get him outta here.
[in a large luxurious house, the boys are knocking houseplants and statues over, breaking windows and furniture and setting the entire house on fire]
Barker: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! See the Model Home! It's open for destruction! And it's all yours, boys! It's all yours!
Lampwick: [he strikes a match on the Mona Lisa painting to light his cigar] What'd I tell ya? Ain't this a swell joint?
Pinocchio: Yeah! [holds an axe] Bein' bad's a lot of fun, ain't it?
Lampwick: Yeah, uh-huh. Get a load of that stained-glass window. [picks up a brick and throws it at the stained glass window, shattering it; meanwhile, back at the entrance, the Coachman turns to his henchmen]
Coachman: Alright now! [cracks his whip] Hop to it, you blokes! C'mon! C'mon! Shut the doors and lock 'em tight! [the guards close the wooden doors] Now, get below and get the crates ready! [Chuckles] Give a bad boy enough rope, and he'll soon make a jackass of himself. [laughs evilly]
[Jiminy is walking around the deserted fairgrounds, littered with half-smoked cigars, destroyed carnival rides, and empty food wrappers]
Jiminy: Pinocchio! Pinocchio! [whistles] Where is everybody? This place is like a graveyard. I don't like the looks of this. Pinocchio! Hey! Where are you?
[meanwhile, in the pool hall, Lampwick is whistling and playing pool while Pinocchio sits at a table, smoking his cigar]
Pinocchio: Where do you suppose all the kids went to, Lampwick?
Lampwick: Oh, they're around here somewheres. Why do you care? You're havin' a good time, ain't ya? [hits a #3 ball into a hole]
Pinocchio: Uh-huh. I sure am.
Lampwick: Oh, boy! This is the life, huh, Pinokey?
Pinocchio: Yeah! [smokes lightly] It sure is! [smokes lightly again]
Lampwick: Ah, you smoke like me grandmother! [picks up his cigar] Come on! Take a big drag, like this! [inhales his cigar deeply]
Pinocchio: OK, Lampy! [inhales his cigar deeply and his face turns red] GLY! [swallows the smoke] GLO! [turns pink in the face and his eyes begin to fill with water, which he closes them, releasing all of the water, and then turns green in the face and blows a smoke ring, which comes out of his mouth]
Lampwick: Heh, some fun, huh, kid?
[Pinocchio nods drowsily]
Lampwick: OK, slats. [adds a point in the score chart] Your shot.
[Pinocchio, dazed and disoriented, can barely focus on striking the #8 ball, which appears to wink its eye at Pinocchio; Pinocchio shakes his head, causing his eyes to shake as well]
Lampwick: What's the matter, slats? Losin' your grip?
[Pinocchio is about to strike the ball at first, but is then startled by Jiminy and falls flat on his face]
Jiminy: PINOCCHIO! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy? Look at yourself! Smokin'! [pulls the flattened cigar out of Pinocchio's mouth] Playin' pool! [angrily kicks the #8 ball and stubs his toe] OWW! You're coming right home with me this minute!
Lampwick: Hey, who's the beetle? [picks up Jiminy]
Jiminy: Let go! Put me down! [voice becomes muffled as he gets wrapped around in his coat] Let me outta here! Let me out! Let me out! Put me down!
Pinocchio: He's my conscience. He tells me what's right from wrong.
Lampwick: [drops Jiminy] What?! You mean to tell me you take orders from a grasshopper?
Jiminy: Grasshopper?! Look here, you...you impudent young pup! [climbs up and stands on the #8 ball] It wouldn't hurt you to take orders from your grasshopper...um...uh...your conscience, if you have one.
Lampwick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. [strikes the #9 ball into the ball Jiminy is standing on] Screwball in the corner pocket.
[Jiminy is knocked into a hole by the #1 ball, the other ball goes in, too; when Jiminy lands in the ball pit, he runs out of the way of the #8 ball; Lampwick cracks up laughing]
Jiminy: [angrily climbs out of hole] Why, you...you young hoodlum! [furiously takes off his coat] I'll...I'll knock your block off! [punches the air; Lampwick laughs harder] Why, I'll take you apart and put you back together!
Pinocchio: [holds Jiminy back by his vest] Oh, don't hurt him, Jiminy. He's my best friend.
Jiminy: Why, I'll oughtta let you... Huh? Your best friend?! And what am I? Just your conscience. [angrily storms away] OK! That settles it! ‘’[picks up his suit]’’
Pinocchio: But, Jiminy...
Jiminy: You buttered your bread. Now sleep in it!
[puts his suit on backwards and falls down a pool hole again; Lampwick laughs even harder]
Jiminy: [mocks Lampwick's laughter] Ha, ha, ha! Go on, laugh! Make a jackass outta yourself! I'm through! This is the end! [storms out the bar]
Pinocchio: But Jiminy, Lampwick says a guy only lives once.
Jiminy: Lampwick! Huh!
Lampwick: Come on, come on! Let him go! [pours some beer into a couple steins]
[meanwhile, Jiminy is storming out towards the end of Pleasure Island]
Jiminy: Lampwick? Huh! Lampwick! [kicks a smoked cigar, making the ashes fly everywhere] He burns me up. After all I tried to do for him! [goes through the inside of an open book, and comes out by ripping and tearing some pages] Who's his conscience anyway? [gets tangled in the leg by a ribbon, and shakes it off] Me, or that...that hoodlum Lampwick? I've had enough of this! I'm takin' the next boat outta here! [raps on the door with his umbrella handle] Open up that door! Open up! I wanna go home!
[Jiminy hears donkeys braying on the other side of the door and slips under the door; there, he finds the Coachman and his henchman loading donkeys into crates, and onto the boat]
Coachman: C'mon, you blokes! Keep it moving. Lively there, now! We haven't got all night!
Jiminy: [scratches his head] Where'd all the donkeys come from?
Coachman: Come on, come on! Let's have another! [one of his henchmen pulls a donkey in a police officer suit toward him] And what's your name?
Coachman: OK, you'll do! [he tears the police officer clothing off the donkey and kicks him in the rear end, throwing him into a crate with five others] In you go! You boys will bring a nice price. [chuckles evilly] Alright! Next! [another donkey in a sailor suit, who is named Alexander, is thrown toward him] And what might your name be?
Coachman: Hmmm. So, you can talk?
Alexander: Y-Yes, sir. I wanna go home to my mama!
Coachman: Take him back! He can still talk! [snatches Alexander and throws him into a pen with six other donkeys that can still talk]
Alexander: Please, please. I don't wanna be a donkey. [the others protest by begging and pleading for mercy] Let me out of here!
Coachman: QUIET!!![cracks his whip and scares the boys] You boys have had your fun! Now pay for it!
Jiminy: Boys? So that's what— Pinocchio! [he runs back to the pool hall to warn Pinocchio what has happened to the boys]
Lampwick: Heh! To hear that beetle talk... [takes a sip of his beer] ...you'd think something was going to happen to us. [Lampwick suddenly sprouts donkey ears, unaware of this; Pinocchio pushes his beer away] Conscience. Ah, phooey! [strikes a ball and grows a donkey tail, as a shocked Pinocchio then throws away his cigar] Where does he get that stuff? "How do you ever expect to be a real boy?" [leans over the pool table, but when his head turns into a fuzzy brown donkey muzzle, he grabs his cigar, turns around, shows Pinocchio that he now has that head of a donkey, and puts it in his mouth] What's he think I look like? A jackass?
Pinocchio: You sure do! [laughs, but when he accidentally brays in the middle of his laughter, he covers his mouth in shock]
Lampwick: Hey, you laughed like a donkey. [laughs, then accidentally brays, and gasps and covers his mouth to stop] Did that come out of me?!
Lampwick: [Pinocchio nods in a horrified look; Lampwick feels his face, realizing he has a muzzle instead of a nose] Huh? [Lampwick feels his donkey muzzle again, and then feels his donkey ears from bottom to top] Oh! [feels nothing but fur] Huh? [he tugs at his ears] What the--? What's going on? [he looks in a mirror, sees that he is only half a donkey, and screams bloody murder in terror] I've been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I've been framed! HELP!!!![begs to Pinocchio for help, while Pinocchio ends up backing into a wall, as Lampwick crawls on all four feet, and Pinocchio gets the straps on his overalls grabbed by Lampwick's hands] Please, you've gotta help me. Oh, be a pal. Call that beetle, call anybody!
[lets go of Pinocchio, as his hands close up, turning into hooves; Pinocchio gasps in shock and backs away, scared]
Lampwick: Mama! MA-AA-A-MA-AA-A!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!
[in the shadow, Lampwick is forced down on all fours, and having turned into a donkey completely, begins to run around the room, and starts braying wildly, while Pinocchio runs away and hides behind a chair, when Lampwick smashes the mirror with his back hooves, knocks tables over, kicks chairs all over the place, and flees, still braying uncontrollably; Pinocchio suddenly sprouts gray donkey ears]
Pinocchio: [tugs at his ears] OOOOH!!!! What's happened?!
Jiminy: [races towards the pool hall] Oh, I hope I'm not too late.
Pinocchio: What'll...What'll I do?! [suddenly, he sprouts a gray donkey tail, grabs hold of its end, and gasps] Oh!
[Jiminy finally makes it to the pool hall, and enters the pool hall]
Pinocchio: Jiminy! Oh, Jiminy, help!
Jiminy: Quick, Pinoke! The kids! The boys! They're all donkeys! [gasps] Oh! You, too!? [Pinocchio nods] C'mon, quick, before you get any worse. [they run away as Lampwick is still kicking and screaming; they run out over a cliff] This way, Pinoke. It's the only way out. Hurry up.... oof... before they see us. You gotta jump. [they dive into the water, and swim far away from Pleasure Island, and get up on the mainland, before heading back to the workshop]
[Pinocchio, having heard that Geppetto is alive after getting swallowed by Monstro, takes off to save him]
Jiminy Cricket: [following after Pinocchio] Hey, where are ya goin'?
Pinocchio: I'm going to find him!
Jiminy Cricket: But, Pinoke, are you crazy? Don't you realize that he's inside a whale?
[Pinocchio keeps going straight to a high cliff overlooking the ocean, with Jiminy following all the way]
Jiminy Cricket: But this Monstro, I've heard o'him; he's a whale of a whale! [Pinocchio starts tying a rock to his donkey tail] Why, he swallows whole ships alive! [he then helps tie Pinocchio's tail to the rock completely] Tie it good and tight, now. And besides, it's dangerous! Why, I--
Pinocchio: [extends a hand for a handshake from Jiminy] Good-bye, Jiminy.
Jiminy Cricket: Good-bye? I may be live bait down there, but I'm with ya! C'mon, Pinoke. [hops onto the rock and holds his nose] Let's go. [screams bloody murder as they jump down from high off the cliff] LOOK OUT BELO-OO-OWW!!!! [they plunge into the ocean with a gigantic splash, and the rock attached to Pinocchio's tail drags them to the ocean floor] Gangway down there!
Geppetto: Is that the last of them. Here's a big one. Only a few left. Gotta work fast. Here's another one!
Pinocchio: Hey. Hey, Father.! Father!
Geppetto: Don't bother me Now, Pinocchio! Pinocchio?
Geppetto: [joyfully] Pinocchio, my son!
Pinocchio: Hey, Father. Here I am.
Geppetto: Oh, Yes. Pinocchio, My Boy. I'm so happy to see you.
Pinocchio: Me too, Father. Figaro. Aw, Figaro. Cleo. Oh, Cleo. You're here too.
Geppetto: Yes. We're all together again.
Geppetto: Oh, You are Soaking Wet.
Pinocchio: Yes, Father.
Geppetto: You mustn't catch cold.
Pinocchio: But I came to save you.
Geppetto: You know you shouldn't have come down here. I'm awfully glad to see you. Let me take your hat off. [notices Pinocchio has Donkey ears] Pinocchio!
Pinocchio: What's the matter?
Geppetto: Those ears!
Pinocchio: Huh, ears? Oh, These. Oh, That's nothing. I got a tail too! [laughs, then accidentally brays like a donkey and covers his mouth in shock]
Geppetto: Pinocchio! What's happened to you?
Pinocchio: Well, I-- I--
Geppetto: Oh, Never mind. Old Geppetto has his little wooden head. Nothing else matters.
On Pinocchio, you mentioned something about pilot animation, and supervising animation. Finch's book [The Art of Walt Disney] is wrong on that—it depends on who you interview. Everyone has his own little thing, and I think that the tendency among all these guys is to make themselves as important as they possibly can. I think Frank Thomas and Freddy Moore and I don't know who else were involved in experimenting around with Pinocchio. Maybe Ollie Johnston, but Johnston was kind of coming up then. So was I, really. I was quite critical of ... I have a knack for alienating people by being a little bit outspoken, and they were rather obsessed with the idea of this boy being a wooden puppet. My God, they even had this midget who did the voice for "call for Phillip Morris" as the voice for a while, and it was terrible. I was rather outspoken about it. Why didn't they forget that he was a puppet and get a cute little boy, you can always draw the wooden joints and make him a wooden puppet afterwards. And Ham Luske said, "Well, why don't you do something about it, do a scene," and I did one. What I don't remember is whether they had a new voice by then or not. Probably they did have; I don't know. I did a scene of Jiminy Cricket underwater, knocking on a shell of an oyster, saying, "Uh, pardon me, pearl. Are you acquainted with Monstro the Whale?" The shell closed up and caused a swell in the current, which affected Jiminy. I made kind of a cute little boy out of him, and Walt loved it; this was actually my big chance. It was my move into being one of the top animators.