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- I did not develop the PHP we know today. Dozens, if not hundreds of people, developed PHP. I was simply the first developer.
- I actually hate programming, but I love solving problems.
- I really don't like programming. I built this tool to program less so that I could just reuse code.
- PHP is about as exciting as your toothbrush. You use it every day, it does the job, it is a simple tool, so what? Who would want to read about toothbrushes?
- I was really, really bad at writing parsers. I still am really bad at writing parsers.
- We have things like protected properties. We have abstract methods. We have all this stuff that your computer science teacher told you you shouldn't be using. I don't care about this crap at all.
- There are people who actually like programming. I don't understand why they like programming.
- I'm not a real programmer. I throw together things until it works then I move on. The real programmers will say "Yeah it works but you're leaking memory everywhere. Perhaps we should fix that." I’ll just restart Apache every 10 requests.
- I do care about memory leaks but I still don't find programming enjoyable.
- I don't know how to stop it, there was never any intent to write a programming language [...] I have absolutely no idea how to write a programming language, I just kept adding the next logical step on the way.
- For all the folks getting excited about my quotes. Here is another - Yes, I am a terrible coder, but I am probably still better than you :)
- I've never thought of PHP as more than a simple tool to solve problems.
- PHP is rarely the bottleneck.
- Ugly problems often require ugly solutions. Solving an ugly problem in a pure manner is bloody hard.
- PHP is just a hammer. Nobody has ever gotten rich making hammers.
- Back when PHP had less than 100 functions and the function hashing mechanism was strlen()