Reba (TV Series)

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Reba was an comedy sitcom starring Reba McEntire which ran from 2001 to 2007. The show aired on The WB for the first five years and the final season aired on the CW network.

Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.01][edit]

mom iwanna go to jail with dad.

Cheyenne: no go to jail idiots.
Kyra: Is boot camp an

Kyra: Barbra Jean's pregnant!
Jake: I thought Cheyenne was pregnant!
Cheyenne: Shut up, Jake!
Kyra: Back off. He's just a stupid kid.
Jake: I'm not stupid. She left the pregnancy test in the trash can.

Reba: Why is it we're the only family in Texas without a gun?

Kyra: So when Daddy marries Barbra Jean, what am I supposed to call her anyway?
Reba: You're not supposed to call her anything, when you see her at the Wal-Mart, just point to her and say, "There she is. The woman who stole my daddy."

Brock: Reba, I have to marry her!
Reba: Have to? The only reason you'd have to marry her is-- Oh my God!
Cheyenne: Dad! How could you!?

Kyra: Don't worry, Mom, I know all about birth control.
Reba: Oh, really? And what age is it appropriate for a young lady to become sexually active?
Kyra: 40.
Reba: Have I mentioned you're my favorite?

Barbra Jean: There she is, the mother of the bride.
Reba: (crying) You were only supposed to bring the ice.

Reba: Momma's got a dark side

Cheyenne: Getting married is so much fun! We should have done this in our junior year!
Reba: No, honey you were smart to wait.

The Honeymoon’s Over Or Now What [1.02][edit]

Barbra Jean: God created women to carry babies and men to carry footballs.
(Everyone turns and looks at Brock)
Dr. Susan Peters: You are just precious.

Reba: My parents gave this pillow to Brock and me for our third aniversary.
Kyra: Well, we know it's not a magic pillow.

Cheyenne: I need to wear something that says: "Mrs. Montgomery."
Kyra: How about a t-shirt that says: "I'm with Stupid?"

Reba: Nothing says eternal love like the pooka.

Reba [to Cheyenne]: So how are you doing in here?
Cheyenne: Good, Van fell between the beds, once when we weren't even doing anything!
Reba: I really gotta stop asking questions...

Van: It doesn't matter where we sleep just as long as I'm with my wife.
Cheyenne: My husband.
Kyra: My lunch.

Reba [to Brock]: When you knocked up your hygienist, you lost the right to touch my muffins!

Someone’s At the Gyno With Reba [1.03][edit]

(Jake is playing with a uterus model at the gynecologist's office)
Brock: Jake, put down the uterus, it's not a toy.

(After Cheyenne didn't say anything about how Van decorated the room)
Kyra: Well, that sucked!
Reba: Tell me about it!

Cheyenne: (as she opens the fridge, which is full of food) There is like nothing in here!

Cheyenne: Do you think Dad would care about what kind of bedspread is on the bed?!
Reba: It's obvious that your father doesn't care about what's on his bed!

You Make Me Sick [1.04][edit]

Van [to Cheyenne]: I want you to stop vomiting.
Cheyenne: If I could control it I'd do it on you right now.

Van: Coach said B.J. was only sick for one day and do you know why that is?
Cheyenne: I don't know, something to do with Jesus?

Reba: There's no teenage orgy on our lawn. There's a couple frisky squirrels but I just tell Jake they're dancing.

Jake: Mom, singing's lame.

The Steaks Are High [1.05][edit]

Reba (looks at her watch): It's 5:00 AM, somebody better whack me with a mallet.

Van: See...Mrs. H, I'm "Player of the Week."
Reba: So I heard...Ungawa

Reba (after agreeing to Van's plea that she host the team's steak dinner): Boy he sure makes it hard to say no.
Cheyenne (smiling suggestively): Tell me about it.

Kyra: Mom, you hold them down and I'll whack them with the mallet!
Cheyenne: It's Marci & Luanne. They're on the drill team.
Kyra: Mom, you hold them down and I'll whack them with the mallet!

Season 3[edit]

Sister Act [3.16][edit]

Reba: Did that seem weird to you?
Barbra Jean: Yeah, why?
Reba: Because Kyra faked being sick. She's never faked being sick before! She's faked being well just so she can go to school!
Barbra Jean: Wow, I am so easily fooled. I wonder if those kids are really blind. You know, I think some of them are just lazy.

Barbara Jean: It's always the bullies, or the jocks, or preps. The nerds aren't all that friendly, either!
Reba (to Kyra, ignoring Barbra Jean): How long has this been going on?
Barbra Jean: My whole life!

Reba: Kyra, why would you hit someone?
Cheyenne: It's how she shows affection!
Kyra: Yeah, that's right. Why don't come over here for a hug?

Brock: Kyra, when things get tough, you have to stick with them. (Reba gives him a look) WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T HIT ANYONE!

Reba: Kyra! What did this girl do to get you to snap?
Kyra: SHE CALLED CHEYENNE A SLUT! She called Cheyenne a slut, so I punched her, ok?
Cheyenne: Oh my gosh, my psycho sister loves me!

Barbra Jean: Kyra, there are two ways you can deal with bullies: You can either hide in a bush till they forget about you, or you can buy them presents. Oh, that reminds me Reba, I picked you up something nice at the mall.

Barbra Jean: No, you can't talk to her teacher! Otherwise, you'll be smashed into a locker with chalk up your nose and duct tape in your hair!
Brock: Oh honey, I'm sorry. I wish I could've been there to protect you.
Reba: Except you were 34.

Cheyenne: So she didn't call me a slut?
Kyra: No, she called you a slut, a loser, and a teenage baby-machine.
Cheyenne: You could have just said yes!

Cheyenne: It takes one to know one, except I'm not one, but if I was one, then she would have to be one too.

Kyra: (about going shopping with Cheyenne) Mom, I have something to confess, and if you ever tell anyone, I'll deny it and I'll never tell you anything again.
Reba: What?
Kyra: I actually had a good time with her! (covers her mouth in surprise)

Cheyenne: So what did you like most about talking to me?
Kyra: All the words you mispronounced.

Kyra (to Cheyenne): All the times you weren't hugging me. I actually like talking to you. (Cheyenne goes forward to hug Kyra) All the times you WEREN'T hugging me!

Season 4[edit]

Hello, My Name is Cheyenne [4.22][edit]

Cheyenne: Mom, Dad... I have great news... I'm an alcoholic!
(Everyone stares at her)
Van: I'm having a beer.

Brock: What's wrong, Van? Are you on the wagon?
Van: Yes! And they shouldn't call it a wagon because wagons are fun!

Cheyenne: You probably think this sounds really weird.
Reba: No, baby, I don't.....I think it sounds like A DRINKING PROBLEM!
Cheyenne: But I don't WANT a drinking problem!
Reba: I don't want Barbra Jean living down the street from me either, but crapstorms happen!
Cheyenne (thinks): What am I gonna do?
Reba: The first thing you are gonna do is put the drink down..(points to the counter; Cheyenne sets down her drink)
Reba (walks to Cheyenne): Here's the second thing. (hugs her)
Cheyenne: I'm scared Mom, I really am.
Reba: I know, baby.

Season 5[edit]

Where There's Smoke [5.01][edit]

Cheyenne: I do not think smoking is that bad for you... I think tobacco is a vegetable.

Van [to Cheyenne]: Hey, can I have one of those vitamins? Give me a Wilma and a Dino. No, I had a Dino yesterday, make it a Barney.
Cheyenne: No. Van those vitamins aren't for you.
Van: What'd you mean they're not for....are these chick vitamins? Will I grow boobs?
Cheyenne: No. Ok, I'm going to tell you something but you cannot repeat it. They're called Disulfiram.
Van: You're right, I can't repeat that.

Season 6[edit]

She's With the Band [6.11][edit]

Reba [to Kyra]: Well, here's how a lot of artist's parents feel. You're goin' to college, and that's that!
Kyra: You can't make me. I'm 18.

Reba: It is vital that we show a united front we have got to show her that we are all in one mind.
Barbra Jean: (when Kyra walks in) Kyra, it's a trap! Follow your dreams! Run, be free!

External links[edit]

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