Rocko's Modern Life/Season 1
Rocko's Modern Life Seasons: 1/2/3/4 Specials: Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling
Rocko's Modern Life is an American animated series premiered on September 18, 1993 to November 24, 1996. The series follows a Wallaby named Rocko and his friends, Heffer and Filburt.
Episode 1
[edit]A Sucker for the Suck-O-Matic [1.1a]
[edit]- Rocko Rama: I had it with you, you're a useless and pathetic like a USELESS AND PATHETIC thing, this is the last straw you Good for nothing heap of rubbish! [holds up a hammer and starts hitting the suk-u-lox] Prepare to FEEL MY WRATH! [Spunky gets afraid] That will teach you!
- Heffer Wolfe: Hey man, keep it down. I'm trying to watch TV.
- Rocko: I must cease this senseless sucking. It's stuck in suck!
- Rocko and Heffer: "How to turn off your Suck-o-Matic..." [the page gets sucked up, and the page that reads...] ..."In case Suck-o-Matic sucks instructions, see page 101..." [another page gets ripped and is sucked, a page shows a skull on fire] "PREPARE TO DIE?!" [Rocko, Heffer and Spunky scream as eyes bulge in horror]
Canned [1.1b]
[edit]- Filburt Shellbach: The problem with the comic books is the ink comes off on your hands. Everytime you turn a page, you have to wash your hands. You turn a page, you wash your hands. You turn a page, you wash your hands. And then you turn a page...
- [The speaker starts coughing on Rocko]
- Speaker: Rocko, to the... [coughs] ...Manager's Office. [then it finishes coughing]
- Filburt: They've hurt very much and, um, I'm constantly in a state of wanting to throw up.
- Geek: You'll never be satisfied with a mortal woman because the elf wenches are so beautiful You'll spend the rest of your life searching for that same beauty again. [sniffs] Yes.
- Nuclear Swan Elephant: Wow, you're an idiot.
Episode 2
[edit]Carnival Knowledge [1.2a]
[edit]- Rocko: Hef, we're mates, right?
- Heffer: Is this about the money I owe you?
- Rocko: Well-
- Heffer: Hey! [points] What's going on over at the sewer treatment plant?
- Rocko: It's a carnival.
- Heffer: You know for a second there I thought those carny games were rigged.
- Rocko: Not everyone is out to rip you off.
- Heffer: You have to learn to trust people.
Sand In Your Navel [1.2b]
[edit]- Rocko: Spunky, well, I guess we better find a hose to wash off.
- [A flock of seagulls floats down and eats the food that Rocko and Spunky are buried in, inadvertently biting them as well.]
- Rocko: Or maybe just some iodine.
Episode 3
[edit]Rocko's Happy Sack [1.3a]
[edit]- Filburt: And your total is... [the cash register shows "$1.50"]
- Rocko: Phew!
- [Then the total suddenly increases]
- Filburt: One hundred and fifty dollars. Gee, looks like you just missed a big sale. Have a nice day.
- Rocko: [snarls and gets bombs in his eyes, enraged and loses it] You CHEAP LITTLE ROTTER! I've been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your Gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very large woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death, and I still beat the 12:00 deadline! So if you don't change that total back to $1.50, I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE!
Flu-In-the-Enza [1.3b]
[edit]Episode 4
[edit]Who's For Dinner? [1.4a]
[edit]- Heffer: You're not my father! You're just a jerk in wolf's clothing! [starts bawling and dashes out of the front door, running away]
- [The Wolfe family glares annoyingly at Rocko]
- Rocko: Well, I'm stuffed. [chuckles]
- Heffer: [upset] I guess no one loves me. [wailing; blows his nose]
Love Spanked [1.4b]
[edit]Episode 5
[edit]Clean Lovin' [1.5a]
[edit]Unbalanced Load [1.5b]
[edit]Episode 6
[edit]Leap Frogs [1.6a]
[edit]- Ed Bighead: [gets hit by Cupid's arrow; seductively] Bev...
- Bev Bighead: Yes, Ed...
- Ed Bighead: We're almost out of mouthwash.
Bedfellows [1.6b]
[edit]- [Ed is spying on Rocko's backyard, where a nudist party is being held]
- Ed Bighead: Bev! Oh, I can't believe it! Do you know what that weirdo next door is up to?
- Bev Bighead: Oh, shut up and mind your own business, Ed.
- Ed Bighead: But, Bev! They're, well... Nude!
- [Bev grabs the binoculars]
- Bev Bighead: Oh, Ed! Oh, you're right! Oh, yes! This is disgusting! Quick, Ed, get the telescope out of the hall closet!
Episode 7
[edit]No Pain, No Gain [1.7a]
[edit]Who Gives A Buck [1.7b]
[edit]- Heffer: I couldn't help myself. When I found out you were gonna lose everything, I went out and got the last one!
- Rocko: Heffer, you're a pal! But wait, you don't have any money. Hey! You didn't use credit, did you?
- Heffer: Heck, no. Only an idiot would use credit. I used this! [pulls out a card]
- Rocko: [reading card] "The All Scottish Show Organ Exchange Program"?
- Heffer: I sold my second stomach for cash!
Episode 8
[edit]Jet Scream [1.8a]
[edit]- Heffer: Ooh... buttons!
- [Heffer pushes one button and it ends up freezing Rocko. He pushes another button and it heats Rocko making him sweat. He is about to push another one.]
- Rocko: Heffer, no, not that one!
- [Heffer pushes the attendant button and it ends up ejecting the copilot]
- Rocko: That one must be broken.
- Captain: No need to be alarmed, we have temporarily lost power to our right engine. [both wings are broken off by mountains] Oops.
Dirty Dog [1.8b]
[edit]- Squirmy: Here we are, Mr. Icck. Fried lice fritters!
- Bloaty: Mmm. Boy, uh, does that look good.
- Mr. Icck: It better be good, Bloatman, or it's back to the colon mines for you!
- Bloaty: (nervously) The colon mines. Right, boss.
- Mr. Icck: You're FIRED! I mean, THE END!
Episode 9
[edit]Keeping Up With the Bigheads [1.9a]
[edit]- Rocko: That's it! There's only so much a wallaby can take! Not only will this house not be condemned, it will be the most beautiful house in the neighborhood! Even nicer than yours!
- Ed Bighead: [laughs] Stop! Stop! I might wet myself! [keeps laughing, but then wets himself] Oops.
Skid Marks [1.9b]
[edit]Episode 10
[edit]The Good, The Bad and the Wallaby [1.10a]
[edit]Trash-O-Madness [1.10b]
[edit]Episode 11
[edit]Power Trip [1.11a]
[edit]- Rocko: FILBURT!
- Filburt: Yes boss?
- Rocko: I want to see you in my office IMMEDIATELY!
- Filburt: Yes boss! [uses his teeth to drag himself to the office and he arrives in the office]
- Rocko: Supply and demand, Filburt; supply and demand. People demand "Big Man" comics, and we supply them. If you, Filburt can't supply "Big Man", the system breaks down. Do you follow me Filburt!?
- Filburt: Yes sir.
- Rocko: If the system breaks down, I DON’T MAKE A PROFIT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!
- Filburt: No...? [Rocko turns around and shows Rocko is now the same shape and size Mr. Smitty is and Filburt screams in horror]
- Rocko: YOU'RE FIRED!
- [Rocko's breath sends away Filburt down the stairs, out of the shop and into the street. Random vehicles run over Filburt]
- Filburt: Where are you, Really Really Big Man?
To Heck and Back [1.11b]
[edit]- Heffer: Wait a minute. "Heck"? Isn't it supposed to be-
- Peaches: [covers Heffer's mouth] Censors.
Episode 12
[edit]Spitballs [1.12a]
[edit]Popcorn Pandemonium [1.12b]
[edit]- Trailer Announcer: It's not new. It's not original. It isn't even very interesting. But it is coming this summer.
- Guy 1: [opening Dracula's casket] All right Dracula. You're in for it now. We're gonna... [does a double take]
- Trailer Announcer: Dracula, as you've never seen him before: Dead. [Dracula's skeleton has a stake already through his heart]
- Guy 1: Our work here is finished.
- Guy 2: Yup yup.
- Guy 1: Get some bagels?
- Guy 2: All right.
- Trailer Announcer: Dracula: It's been done. To. Death.