Shrek the Third
(Redirected from Shrek 3)
- If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. Even if his robe doesn't quite cover his-
- [out of nowhere looking at Prince Charming] Break a leg, or on second thought let me break it for you.
- [singing to Shrek and Fiona] Good morning... good morning... to you and you and you.
- [After pulling the covers off and seeing Shrek naked] Aaaahh!! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies!
- [after seeing the villains, with Captain Hook on a piano] Look out! They got a piano!
- [at the end of Shrek's dream sequence, with an ogre baby head] Dada.
- [He and Puss have just switched bodies] How in the Hans Christen Andersen am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots?
- Like the sauce? It's spicy!
Puss in Boots
I gotta go.
Arthur "Artie" Pendragon
This is lame.
- Doris: You poor sweet things.
- Cinderella: I don't get it.
- Snow White: The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet... What's to get?
- Doris: I know he's a jerk and all but I gotta admit that Charming makes me hotter than July.
- Princesses: EW!
- Snow White: I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me!
- Sleeping Beauty: [while being carried by Doris] Everything's always about you, isn't it? It's not like your attitude is helping, Snow.
- Snow White: Well, maybe it just bothers you that I was voted fairest in the land!
- Rapunzel: You mean in that rigged election?
- Snow White: Oh, give me a break. [dreamy voice] "Rapunzel, Rapunzel! [sarcastic voice] Let down thy golden extensions."
- Queen Lillian: Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together.
- [Rapunzel has betrayed the princesses in order to be with Prince Charming]
- Charming: Say hello to the new queen of Far Far Away!
- Cinderella: Yay! [claps] (What, not good?) [Awkward pause]
- Fiona: Rapunzel, you dirty double crosser!
- Rapunzel: Jealous much?
- Arthur "Artie" Pendragon: This is lame.
- Merlin: [whacks him] You're lame.
- Snow White: Right! Ladies, assume the position!
- Donkey: [Referring to his Dronkeys] They grow up so fast.
- Shrek: [Annoyed by their intrusion] Not fast enough.
- [Sleeping Beauty falls asleep, Snow White lies down in her coffin pose, and Cinderella seats herself on the floor gazing dreamily into space.]
- Princess Fiona: What are you doing?
- Sleeping Beauty: [snaps awake] Waiting to be rescued. [falls back asleep]
- Shrek: [looking at Artie talking with princesses] See, what'd I tell ya? The kid's gonna make a great king.
- Fiona: For what it's worth, you would have too.
- Shrek: [rubs Fiona's stomach] I have something much more important in mind.
- Captain Hook: [looming over a young boy threateningly with his hook] Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan!
- Boy's Mother: His name's not Peter!
- Captain Hook: Shut it, Wendy!
- Donkey: Wor-ces-ter-shiree? Now, that sounds fancy!
- Shrek : It's "Worcestershire".
- Donkey: Like the sauce? It's spicy!
- Arthur Pendragon: [to Shrek] Please, don't eat me. [Students and Teacher(s) chanting "Eat him"]
- Shrek: I'm not here to eat him!
- Students and Teacher: [groaning] Aww...
- Shrek: It's time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You're the new king of Far Far Away.
- Arthur: What?
- Gingy: I hate dinner theatre!
- Pinocchio: Me too. [nose grows]
- Rapunzel: But, Pooky, you said you wouldn't hurt them.
- Prince Charming: Not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later.
- Prince Charming: You! [to Pinocchio] You can't lie. So tell me, puppet. Where is Shrek?
- Pinocchio: Uh. Hmm, well, uh... I don't know where he's not.
- Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
- Pinocchio: It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect.
- Charming: So you do know where he is!
- Pinocchio: On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably...
- Charming: Stop it!
- Pinocchio: ...Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be, if that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't at where I knew he was, that'd mean I'd really have to know where he wasn't... [Gingy still singing]
- Artie: [after guards try to kill them, Artie comes up with a plan] Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you!
- Shrek: [playing along, acting like a spoiled celebrity] Donkey, we're dealing with amateurs.
- Artie: He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek.
- Shrek: I'm gonna lose it! [before continuing trying to keep his cool]
- Artie: I assume you have everything ready for tonight? You did get the list for the dressing room?
- Donkey (in Puss in Boots' body): [playing along] Yeah, the breakfast croissants stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. [aggravated] Oh, and please tell me you at least got the saffron corn with jalapeño homey butter, 'cause our client cannot get into his properly emotional state without his jalapeño honey butter!
- Shrek: I just lost it. [Puss turns eyes at Shrek even more aggravated]
- Guard: Perhaps we should talk to Nancy in Human Resources.
- Puss in Boots (in Donkey's body): Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise!
- Shrek: [confronts Prince Charming in the dressing room] Break a leg. On second thought, let me break it for you.
- King Charming: Thank goodness. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. [presses the button as Shrek grabs him]
- Shrek: Where's Fiona?
- Charming: Don't worry. She and the others are safe... for now. [grins evilly]
- [The guards burst in and holds Artie hostage. Shrek puts him down]
- Charming: [walking up to Artie] Let me guess. Arthur.
- Arthur: [facing him] It's "Artie", actually. (Don't ask why.)
- Charming: This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? [laughs and held the dagger to Artie's throat] How pathetic. Stand still so I won't make a mess.
- Shrek: Charming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. This isn't about him.
- Artie: Then who's this about? I'm supposed to be king, right?
- Shrek: You weren't really next in line for the throne, I was.
- Artie: But you said the king asked for me personally.
- Shrek: Not exactly.
- Artie: What does that mean?
- Shrek: I said whatever I had to say, alright? I wasn't right for the job, I just needed some fool to replace me, and you fit the bill, so just go!
- Artie: [hurt and angry] You were playing me the whole time.
- Shrek: You catch on real fast, kid. Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. [Donkey (in Puss' body) tries to reason with Artie, but Puss (in Donkey's body) stopped him]
- Artie: You know, for a minute... I actually thought...
- Charming: What, that HE cared about you? He's an ogre. What did you expect? [Artie breaks free from the guards and looks at Shrek before storming out the dressing room in anger. Shrek feels guilty] [smirks] You really do have a way with children, Shrek. [The guards forced Shrek out of the room]
- Donkey (in Puss' body): Alright people, Let's do this thing. Go, Team 'Dynamite'!
- Pinocchio: But I thought we agreed we'd go by the name Team 'Super Cool'.
- Gingy: As I recall, it was Team 'Awesome'!
- Wolf: I voted for Team 'Alpha Wolf Squadron'.
- Donkey (in Puss' body): Alright, alright, alright! From henceforth, we shall be known as 'Team Alpha Super-Awesome-Cool Dynamite Wolf-Squadron'. (Or Team A-S-A-C-D-W-S for short, or... Team Super Awesome Squad. Whatever comes first.)
- Puss: [talking to a female cat] It's out of my hands, señorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny, but I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. [Another female cat meowing. Very quickly] I gotta go.
- Mike Myers as Shrek
- Jim Cummings (ADR work)
- Eddie Murphy as Donkey
- Mark Moseley as Donkey (ADR work)
- Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots
- Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona
- Samantha Bond (ADR work)
- Justin Timberlake as Arthur "Artie" Pendragon
- Simon Callow (ADR work)
- Rupert Everett as Prince Charming
- Eric Idle as Merlin
- Julie Andrews as Queen Lillian
- John Cleese as King Harold
- Conrad Vernon as Gingy, Rumpelstiltskin, Headless Horseman
- Cody Cameron as Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, Ogre Triplets and Bohort
- Jonathan Ross (UK) and Larry King (US) as Doris the Ugly Stepsister
- Christopher Knights as The Three Blind Mice
- Amy Poehler as Snow White
- Megan Hilty (Singing Voice)
- Maya Rudolph as Rapunzel
- Amy Sedaris as Cinderella
- Aron Warner as Big Bad Wolf
- Cheri Oteri as Sleeping Beauty and Actress
- Ian McShane as Captain Hook
- Susan Blakeslee as Wicked Queen
- Regis Philbin as Mabel the Ugly Stepsister
- Mark Valley as Cyclops
- Chris Miller as Puppet Master
- Seth Rogen as Ship Captain
- Tom Kane as Guard #1
- Kari Wahlgren as Old Lady
- John Lithgow as Lord Farquaad (seen in Gingy's flashback)
- John Krasinski as Lancelot
- Gwen as Princess Gwenivere
- And They Lived Happily Never After.
- He's In For The Royal Treatment.
- The Wait Is Ogre.