Wikiquote no longer allows unsourced quotations, and they are in process of being removed from our pages (see Wikiquote:Limits on quotations); but if you can provide a reliable, precise and verifiable source for any quote on this list please move it to Don Marquis. --Antiquary 19:16, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
- A hypocrite is a person who — but who isn't?
- a man thinks he amounts to a great deal but to a flea or a mosquito a human being is merely something good to eat
- A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
- A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.
- An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Blood will tell, but often it tells too much.
- Bores bore each other too; but it never seems to teach them anything.
- Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.
- Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
- Fate often puts all the material for happiness and prosperity into a man's hands just to see how miserable he can make himself with them.
- fierce unrest seethes at the core, of all existing things:, it was the eager wish to soar, that gave the gods their wings.
- Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.
- Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.
- Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.
- How often when they find a sage, As sweet as Socrates or Plato; They hand him hemlock for his wage, Or bake him like a sweet potato!
- I get up in the morning with an idea for a three-volume novel and by nightfall it's a paragraph in my column.
- I say that I am myself, but what is this Self of mine But a knot in the tangled skein of things where chance and change combine?
- I would rather start a family than finish one.
- Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.
- If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity marry, and perpetuate his kind.
- If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.
- In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent.
- Man cannot be uplifted; he must be seduced into virtue.
- Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.
- now and then
there is a person born
who is so unlucky
that he runs into accidents
which started out to happen
to somebody else
- Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle-aged person has likely learned how to have a little fun in spite of his troubles.
- Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
- Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
- Poetry is what Milton saw when he went blind.
- prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into
- Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
- Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.
- Science has always been too dignified to invent a good backscratcher.
- Some persons are likeable in spite of their unswerving integrity.
- Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
- The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.
- The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
- There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel no one else has a right to blame us.
- There is nothing so habit-forming as money.
- We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.
- When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: "Whose?"
- When you can't have anything else, you can have virtue.
- The trouble with the public is that there is too much of it; what we need in public is less quantity and more quality.
- I have often noticed that ancestors never boast of the descendants who boast of ancestors. I would rather start a family than finish one. Blood will tell, but often it tells too much.
- It takes all sorts of people to make the underworld.
- Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.