needs quotes from Throbbing Python of Love ~~ Add them then.
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- I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that
- I have a career. What the hell am I doing? (From Whose Line Is It Anyway, during the game Scenes From A Hat, which the scene was "What Robin Williams Is Thinking Right Now")
- If you remember the 1960s, you weren't there. (actually Dennis Hopper)
- Carpe per diem: Seize the check.
- Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? (Mork & Mindy)
- Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Canada is a well-behaved family living in an apartment above a biker bar.
- "Compassionate Conservative", that's kind of like having a gun rack on a Volvo.
- Tonight Show with Jay Leno
- Things you don't hear at the Tonys (Broadway Award Show), "Don't wait up kids".
- George Bush was in Bigfoot's National Guard unit, same number of sightings. (Fresh Air with Terry Gross)
- You want an amendment against same-sex marriage? Anyone who's ever been married knows it's always the same sex! (Man of the Year, 2006)
- I did not have sex with that woman. I wanted to! (Man of the Year, 2006)
- God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
- Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
- We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
- Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures."
- Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
- Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus.
- In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again."
- The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
- What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
- We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
- Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
- You'll notice that Bush never speaks when Cheiney is drinking water, check that shit out.
- When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
- I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, `Back up, I don't know how big this gets.