The Animals of Farthing Wood (season 1)
The following is a list of quotes from the first season of The Animals of Farthing Wood.
The Wood In Danger [1.1]
- Badger: Look at this place Weasel. Just look at it.
- Weasel: Doesn't get any better!
- Weasel: I mean, if you wouldn't call that an emergency, what would you call it? Alice? Ahahaha!
- Badger: Very funny.
- Owl: He who dwells in the soil shall himself become soiled. He who dwells in the light shall achieve enlightenment.
- Adder: Not lassst, am I, Badger?
- Badger: Well someone's got to be last, Adder. Follow the tunnel... and don't eat the glow worms!
- Adder: Ssshucks! I was looking forward to a few glow worms!
- Badger: Now Friends. Adder. And Fellow Woodlanders.
- Owl: Do Get on With It!
- Badger: You don't need me to Underline the Gravity of Our Situation.
- Fox: We are All Aware that since the Giant Earth Movers have moved in.
- Badger: Life in Farthing Wood has become steadily more and more hazardous. For one and all.
- (Toad arrives in through the Roof)
- Owl: Well bless my soul. It's that Daft Toad. We thought you were gone for Good.
- Toad: So have I. I was caught in a Jam Jar by a nasty boy. I've been traveling for months to get back here thinking "I must get back to my Matey's, I must get back to My Pond".
- Owl: The Pond is gone and had fallen in.
- Fox: Sorry Toad. Farthing Wood is being destroyed. We either leave or we perish. That's why we've called this assembly.
- Badger: Now. Let's continue with the Assembly.
- Fox: As a community, we're all but finished here. Man and his machines have seen to that.
- Toad: Don't talk to me about those machines! I know all about them!
- Fox: In fact, it must be obvious to everyone here that...
- Owl: ...If we don't find a new watering hole within the next few days...
- Fox: ...Then we are going to be in the worst kind of distress. If you know what I mean.
- Toad: I know the Place that we could go to.
- Owl: Who asked You?
- Toad: It's a good Little Place, A Wonderful Place purposely build for animals like us.
- Mole: Was is Really Toad?
- Toad: It's called White Deer Park Mole. It's a Nature Reverse.
- Mole: Is it Really?
- Toad: It's a Place where all Wild Creatures Are Protected By Humans.
- Badger: Well Fox? What Do you Think?
- Fox: Have we any alternative?
- Badger: Quite. Then White Deer Park it is, Everyone.
- Badger: (Reading out the Oath Of Mutual Protection) Repeat after me. I do solemly swear not to swallow or otherwise consume anybody...
- Adder: (Whispering) Except when nobody's looking!
- Badger: ...While en route to this place of Toad's.
The Journey Begins [1.2]
- Mr Pheasant: It's a nightmare!
- Mrs Pheasant: Yes, dear.
- Mr Pheasant: How would they like it if they were hunted all the time? They'd not be singing and dancing then!
- Mrs Pheasant: No, dear.
- Mr Pheasant: I'll be a sitting target!
- Mrs Pheasant: I'll do my best to look after you.
- Mr Pheasant: You? What good are you?!?
- (About Mole)
- Adder: Let's do ourselves a favour and give him the slip. Mole's slow, stupid and tasteless!
- Badger: He's better company than you any day Adder!
- Baby Newt: (Wails) Water!
- Owl: Is seems that some of us can scarcely put one foot in front of the other. The newts won't last the night.
- Fox: Only you can find water in the dark Owl.
- Owl: True. I shall fly ahead. Rely on me!
- Mrs Rabbit: Good luck Owl.
- Fox: (Thinking) Luck's something we're all going to need.
(Mr Pheasant is sleeping)
- Mrs Pheasant: Wake up, dear.
- Mr Pheasant: (Startled) DON'T SHOOT!!!
- Mrs Pheasant: Time to go, dear.
- Mrs Rabbit: Don't panic! Those newts are on their last legs!
- Adder: Lucky they've got any!
- Mr Fieldmouse: I can face it! Tell me, are we going to die Fox?
- Weasel: Probably! Ahahahaha! Want to take bets on it?
(Toad makes a loud splash in the swimming pool)
- Fox: How can a creature as small as Toad manage to be so noisy?
- Adder: Thisss is going to be interesssting(!)
- Toad: Come on in Adder! Get your feet wet!
- Adder: Chance would be a fine thing!
- Weasel: Got a bit of a problem Adder? I could get you a drink no trouble! How much is it worth eh?
- Adder: You scratch my back... I'll scratch yours!
- Weasel: Fair enough. I've been wanting to do this for ages! (She lowers Adder into the pool)
- Adder: Ssswindler! Shharper! Sneak!
(Adder is stuck in the swimming pool)
- Adder: Psst! Still here Foxy, submerged... but not sunk!
- Fox: Oh shut up!
(Fox has brought garden cane to help Adder escape from the pool)
- Adder: What am I supposssed to do with thisss? Eat it?
- Fox: Hang onto it you silly slithering...
- Adder: Say you're sorry!
- Fox: Alright! If you insist!
- Mole: (About riding on Badger) I feel so guilty riding along like this, while everyone else is so tired and I'm not helping at all.
- Badger: You're more help where you are than you would be on the ground Moley.
- Mole: I could keep up, now that you've all slowed down!
- Adder: I'd swap places with Mole any time.
- Weasel: What would you hold on with? Your teeth?
- Adder: I'd be pleased to steal a ride on you... Weasel!
(While crossing a road)
- Adder: Thisss is going to ruin my scalesss!
Through Fire And Through Water [1.3]
- [Upon hearing humans testing military weapons]
- Mr. Pheasant: I say! It's a pheasant shoot!
- Mrs. Pheasant: For once, I have to admit you're right, dear.
- Mr. Pheasant: "For once"?!
(The animals have been sleeping on army land and are woken by gunfire)
- Mrs. Hedgehog: Do stop snoring dear.
- Mr. Hedgehog: Me? I don't snore.
- Mrs. Hedgehog: That's what you always say, but I think your snores are positively earth shattering.
- Owl: When perched between two evils, the best solution is to stay still.
- Adder: Easssier said than done.
- Kestrel: One of the soldiers has raised his gun. He's sticking a knife on the end of it.
- Mr Pheasant: I say! That's none too sporting!
(Upon witnessing the soldiers run away because Weasel accidentally breaks open a bees' nest)
- Mr Pheasant: Imagine. Afraid of a sack!
- Weasel: What Adder needs is a sting in the tail!
- Adder: I'll give you a sting in the tail!
- Weasel: AAAGH! (Runs off)
- Owl: One day Mole, you'll be so fat you'll get stuck in one of your own tunnels!
(Mr Pheasant's tailfeathers have been destroyed by an army shell)
- Mr Pheasant: I'll never be able to turn my back on anyone again!
- Mrs Pheasant: That'll be a nice change.
- Fox: Is that all you're worried about?!
- Mr Pheasant: When you've been shot at as much as I have, Fox, you realise there is nothing more important than one's personal dignity!
- Badger: Well, at least we're all back together now.
- Mole: [tearful] But we're not. Where are the Newts?
- Badger: [Comforting] Don't ask. There's a good chap.
False Haven [1.4]
(It is pouring with rain)
- Toad: Where's Owl?
- Badger: If she's got any sense at all she'll be tucked up nice and snug underground.
- Toad: OWL?
- Badger: Well, under a bush then. Whatever!
- [Mrs. Pheasant takes one of Owl's shedded feathers and puts it in her sleeping husband's tail]
- Mr. Pheasant: [Wakes up] DAAAAAH!!!
- Mrs. Pheasant: There. That's better now.
- Mr. Pheasant: What have you done?!
- Mrs. Pheasant: I've just added a stray feather to your tail, dear, to hide the burnt bits. Oooh, it do look lovely!
- Mr. Pheasant: [Suspicious] What kind of feather?
- Mrs. Pheasant: Well, I think it's one of Owl's actually--
- Mr. Pheasant: THAT DOWDY FEMALE?!
- Owl: Beggars can't be choosers, Pheasant.
- Kestrel: You should be grateful!
- Mr. Pheasant: Grateful?! What?! [To his wife, Mrs. Pheasant] To have her feathers in my beautiful tail?! Stupid bird! Take it out at once!
- (Mrs. Pheasant sighs and does so)
- Mr. Pheasant: As if any other creature had feathers anywhere near as handsome as mine!
- Mrs. Pheasant: [Sadly] I was only doing my best.
- Fox: Peace... Perfect peace.
- Kestrel: [To the Pheasants] Stop squabbling! Can't you see Fox is tired?
[Mrs. Pheasant has just been shot]
- Owl: I'm afraid you wife's going to be the farmer's dinner, Pheasant.
- Mr. Pheasant: [Cries] Where? Where is she?
- Mrs. Hare: Poor Pheasant, no wonder you were so scared all the time.
- Weasel: Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you! Ahahaha!
- Tom Griggs: [To his dog Bruno] Right, Bruno, now's your chance to save your skin. Guard that door. And guard it well. Because if that fox escapes, you'll be as dead as this bird. [He holds up a dead Mrs Pheasant]
- Mr Pheasant: [Wails] My wife!
- Bruno: If I could get my teeth into you...
- Adder: Watccch it! My bite'sss worse than my bark.
- Bruno: My master wants you dead.
- Fox: So? He wants every fox dead.
- Bruno: You killed his chickens!
- Fox: Oh, no I didn't.
- Bruno: Liar!
- Fox: I'm not the only fox around.
- Bruno: You're here.
- Fox: Ah, I see. Any fox will do. Is that it? Your master must be very stupid.
- Bruno: How dare you!
- Fox: To kill one fox because another hurt him. That's the same as kicking you because his wife's burnt his dinner!
- Bruno: [Realising] Uh... he does, too!
- Fox: Does that make any sense to you?
- Bruno: Er, no. But you still haven't told me why you were lurking round the chicken coop!
- Fox: Not for the taste of chicken. I don't even like them. Too many feathers. Achoo!
- Bruno: You're a right one aren't you, joking at a time like this! Alright, if it wasn't for the chickens, what was it for?
- Fox: Didn't you see the others?
- Bruno: What others?
- Fox: My friends. Not foxes. But rabbits. Mice. Hedgehogs. Toads, birds, all kinds!
- Bruno: You're true to your name, I must say, very cunning. But you can't fool me, oh no. I'm taking you back. I'll get a nice fat reward when my master sees you're dead.
- Fox: Oh, no you won't.
- Bruno: Oh, yes I will!
- Fox: You won't. He doesn't want you to kill his fox. He wants to do it for himself. All you'll do is rob him of the satisfaction.
- Bruno: [Snarls] All right, suits me! I'll take you back alive!
- Fox: Sorry. Can't oblige, old son. If you want me, you'll have to kill me first.
- Bruno: Oh, I don't know. First my master blames me for not catching his fox, then when I've caught him he still blames me.
- Fox: That's about it.
- Bruno: You've got me tied in knots, you clever dink!
- Fox: You should have caught the right fox. That's all there is to it.
- Bruno: Wild animals, heh. They'll be telling me to catch and make friends with a mouse next!
- (Fox runs away, while Bruno is distracted)
- Mr Pheasant: [Sobs] My poor wife...
- Mrs Hare: Yes... [To Mr Hare] we must be nice to him, dear. Do try.
- Mr Pheasant: It's only now she's gone, I realise how much she did for me. [Sobbing] Who's going to dig for my grubs now?
- Mr Hare: Oh! I draw the line at that!
Snare For The Unwary [1.5]
- [Mr Pheasant volunteers to go back for Adder, But can't fly very well and he keeps falling]
- Fox: Oh dear... I forgotten pheasants are not very good at flying! We'll be here till Christmas at this rate!
- Mr Pheasant: Psst... Adder. Psst! Adder! UGHHH!
- (He witnesses what's left of his cooked wife cooling on the windowsill, And he starts crying really hard, And he is bursting into tears)
- Adder: Psssst! PHEASSSANT! GET OUT OF SSSIGHT!
- Mr Pheasant: I can't see anything! Where are you, Adder?
- Adder: Never mind you seeing me! Don't let the farmer see you! Whoops! (She hides)
- Mr Pheasant: ... Farmer?
- (Moments later, He is shot off-screen and killed by Tom Griggs)
- (The animals hear a gunshot and the scared rooks caw, flying)
- Badger: Oh... NO!
- Mrs Hare: If that's Pheasant, I'll Never forgive myself.
- Owl: Need another volunteer, Fox?
- Owl: Where are you?
- Adder: At last! What kept you?
- Owl: Where's Pheasant?
- Adder: Roasting for supper. Speaking of which, Can I offer you some juicy rat?
- Owl: Hmm, don't mind if I do.
- (Adder grins and swoops down and Owl flies, a dead rat lies on the floor)
- Owl: Fancy Fox allowing Pheasant to come back for you! Why, he couldn't even fly properly!
- Adder: I sssuppose there were lotsss of volunteers?
- Owl: Well, one or two. Well, one anyway.
- Adder: You would've known better than to ask.
- Owl: Fox couldn't lead a pack of hounds.
- Adder: Even if they were on his scent!
- Owl: (About the animals) Where would they be without me?
- Adder: They're without you now.
- Owl: Hmmm.
- Fox: What happened to Pheasant?
- Owl: You need me to tell you?
- Mrs. Hare: I knew it! Poor Pheasant! And I was so unkind to him...
- Mr. Hare: Now he's got something to cry about.
- Mrs. Hare: That's just it - he'll never cry anymore! [Sobbing]
- Mr. Hare: Don't you start!
- Fox: I should never have let him go.
- Owl: [Critical] True.
- Owl: A moment's thought can save a lifetime's misery.
- Adder: (Toad is cheering the animals on as they cross the river) That toad's sssickening enthusiasm is beginning to get on my nerves.
(The rabbits are floundering in the middle of the river unable to swim)
- Fox Rabbits! What are you doing?!?
- Mr Rabbit: We're PANICKING!
(Weasel crosses the river)
- Badger: I can't see what's happening.
- Weasel: The Rabbits are panicking and swimming round in circles in the middle of the river!
- Badger: Grrr. Those rabbits. Even with one your problems are multiplied. (calling out to Fox) Fox, do you need any help?
(A Baby Rabbit is still floundering in the river unable to swim)
- Baby Rabbit: Help...No! Save me!
(She falls in the water, but ends up on Fox's head, who surfaces)
- Fox: Stop going round in circles. Swim straight in front of you!
(A massive piece of drift wood heads towards Fox and the Rabbits.)
- Mole: Badger, that massive debris! It's going to hit Fox and the Rabbits, and it will kill them!
- Badger: (After noticing) Oh no! Quickly, my friends. They're in danger. We must save them.
(Badger, Toad, Mole and Mrs Fieldmouse dive into the river.)
- Badger: Each of you must rescue a rabbit. I'll take care of Fox.
- Mrs Rabbit: (Panics) Help!
- Toad: Oh, shut up, Rabbit. Swim that way.
- Mrs Rabbit: (Shaking her head) Which way?
- Toad: That way.
(Toad pushes Mrs Rabbit in the direction he was pointing)
- Mrs Rabbit: Oh! That way!
(Fox and Badger have been swept over a waterfall by a floating mass of debris)
- Owl: I'm afraid we'll have to accept that Badger and Fox are dead.
- Toad: Ah...wait! Look!
Who Shall Wear The Crown? [1.6.]
- Owl: Badger as leader? Huh!
- Adder: Too ssslow and ssstupid.
- Owl: A bird would be more suitable.
- Adder: You mean... Kestrel?
- Owl: Kestrel? Oh no no. She hasn't the common touch.
- Adder: Whereas you have(!)
- Owl: What are you getting at Adder?
- Adder: Jussst raising you Owl.
- Owl: Well yes... you're right, of course.
- Adder: All the animals trussst you.
- Owl: True.
- Adder: And you're wise enough to know when sssomeone's winding you up!
- Owl: What? Are you saying...
- Adder: I'm jussst saying how wise you are!
New Friends, Old Enemies [1.7]
(Fox is hunting mice for Tom the cat at a supermarket back lot)
- Tom: Three... six... ten?
- Fox: No... fourteen!
- Tom: (surprised) Good lord that's enough!
- Mr Vole: If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. We smaller animals deserve our rights!
- Horse: Bit ironic really. Been hunting foxes all my life and here I am now chinwagging with you?
- Fox: Hunting?
- Horse: Yah. A lot of that around here. Oh dear, sore point eh? Didn't mean to upset you.
- Fox: Isn't your fault.
- Horse: True, only obeying orders. Humans are a funny lot. Cruel one minute, kind the next. Take them as they come I suppose.
- Vixen: No, please don't get up. You poor thing. You look exhausted.
- Fox: I'm sorry, is this your earth?
- Vixen: Yes, but you're welcome to use it. I do have several others. Actually, I was just going to hunt. Are you hungry?
- Fox: Starving! I haven't eaten since yesterday!
- Vixen: Then your wits will be sharp. Care to join me?
- Fox: Things are looking up.
Friends In Need [1.8]
- Vixen: Foxes hunt but we're also hunted.
- Fox: Has it happened to you?
- Vixen: No. But I have often heard the horn blow. I suppose it will be my turn one day.
- Fox: The Owl Reminded of Someone.
- Vixen: Owl, Have you Seen Foxes Friends?
- Big Owl: Not many Foxes in the Wood these Days.
- Vixen: No not Foxes, a Party of all kinds travelling together. A Toad, a Kestrel, a Mole, Rabbits, Mice, an Owl.
- Fox: You will come back won't you? I couldn't bear to lose you! Not now!
- Vixen: You may not have to.
- Vixen: Do you have a mate?
- Thrush: Yes. And a family too.
- Vixen: Do you miss your freedom?
- Thrush: Haven't the time. Much too busy.
- Vixen: I see. I used to like walking alone in the morning dew.
- Thrush: And now?
- Vixen: And now I don't know what to do.
- Thrush: Is he brave and true?
- Vixen: Probably!
- Thrush: If you don't try, you'll never know.
(The hunt has picked up Vixen's scent)
- Butcher Bird: (jeering) RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
- Mr Hare: Badger... we should run!
- Badger: No. Remember the oath. We must all stand together and fight!
- Weasel: But we'll be torn to pieces!
- Mole: What's happening? I can't see!
- Badger: It's probably better that you don't Moley.
- Kestrel: (about the hounds) We could try heading them off.
- Owl: In certain circumstances attack is the only form of defence.
- Weasel: Get on with it then!
- Fox: (realising the hounds are now going after Vixen) I've failed her!
(Adder receives praise from the other animals for saving Vixen)
- Adder: I'll never live thisss down.
- Vixen: I know what you did... heading them off.
- Fox: I couldn't bear to think of you... and those hounds.
- Vixen: You risked your life for me.
- Fox: Were you... were you on your way back to me?
- Vixen: Yes.
- Fox: Does that mean...
- Vixen: I would be honoured to be your mate.
- Fox: Oh... I'm so happy!
- Badger: Welcome my dear. You're one of us now.
- All the Animals: Hooray for Fox.
Whistler's Quarry [1.9]
(Mole is crying with happiness)
- Badger: Oh Moley! If only your tears weren't salty, none of us would ever be thirsty again!
- Owl: If love is blind as they say it is, it's a fine state for our leader to get himself into.
- Adder: You helped save him.
- Owl: You helped save his mate.
- Adder: I was sssaving myself.
- Owl: Says who?
(A chain link fence is blocking their way to the quarry)
- Toad: It's alright Badger, we can all hop through! Oh... see what you mean, I'd forgotten how big you all were.
- Adder: That toad is ssso astute.
- Mole: Would it help if I tunneled underneath?
- Badger: Moley, what would we do without you?
- Adder: Die of thirst, I should think(!)
(Whistler is seen for the first time, flying overhead. His wings are making a whistling sound while he is flying)
- Kestrel: A fine display of flying technique, don't you think Owl?
- Owl: Needs oiling if you ask me.
(A carp is attempting to eat Toad)
- Vixen: Whistler! Can you do anything to help?
- Whistler: My pleasure. I've been after that carp for years!
- Whistler: Are there any herons at White Deer Park?
- Toad: Now you come to mention it I did see one or two.
- Whistler: Ah... female herons?
- Toad: Now there you've got me matey! Can't tell the difference, see!
(The animals have walked into a pheasant shoot. Whistler's wing makes a noise when he lands)
- Kestrel: Be quiet! You don't want a matching hole in your other wing do you?
- Whistler: That would be unfortunate.
- Owl: But deserved.
- Whistler: What did you say?
- Kestrel: Ssh! I don't want to be taken for a pheasant!
(One of the baby rabbits has run out into the field and gets shot)
- Badger: To think Owl saved him from the snare for this.
- Fox: He may not have died in vain Badger.
Between Two Evils [1.10]
- Owl: If you're so slow, how slow is a slow-worm?
- Adder: They're just lizards without legsss!
(Kestrel has informed the animals of a motorway up ahead)
- Owl: When there is no way forward, the only way is back.
(A hunting horn is heard in the distance back from where they came)
- Fox: The hunt! We can't go back!
- Weasel: (jeering) We could!
- Mrs Hare: Yes we could. You're just being selfish.
- Badger: HOW DARE YOU! After all Fox has done for us! Why he could have stayed with Vixen and left us to our fate but he came back didn't he? And why? Because we animals stick together.
- Owl: Sometimes fear of one evil overcomes the fear of another.
- Weasel: In other words, let's scarper!
(The animals are faced with a motorway)
- Mrs Shrew: See? They only think of themselves. How are we supposed to cross a road like that!
- Mr Vole: We can't trust the larger animals.
- Mr Hare: The only time you smaller animals have ever got into trouble is when you've left the group!
- Fox: One step at a time.
- Mrs Fieldmouse: Some of us have bigger steps than others.
- Adder: And sssome of us have no sssteps at all!
(The humans in one of the cars on the congested side of the motorway spot the animals)
- Man: Take that! (Throws can out of the car)
- Fox: Don't run into the road! Weasel, don't!
- Weasel: (Throws the can back through their window) Take THAT!
- Mrs Hedgehog: Come on, dear!
- Mr Hedgehog: I... I... I can't!
- Mrs Hedgehog: Please...
- Mr Hedgehog: Don't...curl up...
- Mrs Hedgehog: Please!
- Mr Hedgehog: Whatever you do...dearest...don't...curl up!
- Mrs Hedgehog: Oh no! ( Both Mr. and Mrs. Hedgehog curled up into a ball, And they got ran over by a lorry, crushing them to death)
- Vixen: (about the hedgehogs) ...She wouldn't leave him.
- Mr Hare: What happened?
- Mrs Hare: Why didn't they run?
- Toad: Instincts got the better of them. And instincts can be very strong, matey. I should know.
- Owl: Everyone else either has been carried or has run over the road.
- Adder: Or, has been run over! I've got eyes to see!
- Owl: Those cowering hedgehogs just curled up and died.
- Adder: Well, I've no desire to commit suicide.
(Adder is refusing to let Owl carry her across the motorway)
- Owl: Reflect Adder on the ancient wisdom expressed in the phrase 'Better to lose one's dignity than to lose one's life'.
- Adder: I won't lose either if I stay here, which is exactly what I'm going to do, you pompous bundle of feathers! Because no one can force me to do anything I don't wisssh to!
(Whistler snatches Adder and flies her across much to the amusement of the other animals)
A Deathly Calm [1.11]
- Mrs Rabbit: And we're alright. The vegetables are beautiful. I've never seen a nicer young cabbage.
- Mr Rabbit: If something's wrong just don't tell me!
- Owl: You are standing on poisoned land. It's in the ground we walk on, the air we breathe, and the plants which seem so luscious are probably deadly!
- Weasel: AAAGH!
- Mr Rabbit: But.. but how?
- Owl: It was done deliberately.
- Fox: The farmer! I knew I recognised that smell.
- Owl: He keeps the poison hidden from his own kind. There are some things even humans don't approve of.
- Mr Hare: (about the humans growing cabbages with pesticides on them) But what will they do with the cabbages?
- Owl: Eat them!
- Toad: Won't they die too?
- Owl: Who knows? Perhaps very slowly.
- Owl: Humans have a saying; One man's meat is another man's poison. Goodness knows what they've done to these apples!
- Fox: Let's hope for their sakes they've got strong stomachs.
- Mr Vole: Owl thinks all the animals and plants are poisoned.
- Adder: Except you of course!
- Fox: Adder!
- Adder: Jussst teasing.
- Owl: Hunger's stronger than any oath.
- Toad: Owl's right. Instinct will out. I should know.
(The animals are waiting for the birds and the foxes to come back with food from the town)
- Adder: If Whistler doesn't get back soon, I'll eat... (eying mole)
- Mole: The Oath!
- Adder: I'd eat that if it was on four legs, or even two!
- (Whistler gets the food for animals and landed at Adder)
- Adder: You do that deliberately!
- Whistler: Not at all, and look I brought you food.
- Adder: I forgive you.
- Owl: The darkest hour is just before the dawn. Well, it is!
- Fox: You'll do as I tell you, or else.
- Weasel: Or else what?
- Fox: Or else I'll bite your head off.
- Mrs Hare: (about Mr Rabbit) He does look dreadful.
- Mr Hare: He always looks dreadful!
- Weasel: Step on a crack, break your father's back! Step on a line, you're doing fine!
(Weasel deliberately treads on Adder)
- Weasel: Sorry! Thought you were a crack in the pavement!
- Adder: Then you ssshouldn't have stepped on me. You'll get bad luck!
- Weasel: Not me! I'm the luckiest weasel in the whole wide world! The luckiest weasel...
(a lightning bolt nearly strikes Weasel)
- Weasel: AAAGH!
- Adder: Sssee? What did I tell you?
- Mr Rabbit: Mole! It's all your fault!
- Toad: Well, at least it isn't mine for a change, eh mateys?
(Owl is recovering after being temporarily deafened by a church bell)
- Mrs Vole: I know just how you feel.
- Owl: What?
- Mrs Vole: It's not easy being deaf.
- Owl: What are you talking about?
- Mrs Vole: What?
- Owl: I said, what did you say?
- Mrs Vole: That's what I said!
- Owl: Deaf old codger!
(Adder briefly wears the bride's veil by accident, much to the displeasure of the wedding guests)
- Adder: I don't sssee what all the fusss is about!
- Fox: (realising that the animals have got separated after escaping from the church) We've lost them!
So Near And Yet So Far [1.13]
(Weasel has drunk some wine from a keg)
- Weasel: Ooh! Nice!
- Badger: Yeeuch! Disgusting!
- Weasel: (slurs) No! Nice! I'm nice too Badger, when you get to know me! *hic* Which you will, now that we're holed up together!
- Badger: Stop it!
- Weasel: (slurs) I'm still thirsty! You know Badger, humans can be nice too! In fact, I could get to quite like them!
- Badger: Weasel... are you feeling alright?
- Weasel: (slurs) Never better old chap! (falls over)
(Weasel and Badger escape from the wine cellar when the landlord receives a delivery)
- Weasel: (slurs) Here we go, here we go, here we go!
- Landlord: What on earth?
- Delivery Man: Here! You got a licence for that one Brian?
- Badger: What are we going to do about Weasel?
- Owl: Leave her! I would.
- Weasel: (slurs) Can't go without Weasel! You know Badger, you've been like a father to me, you have! I've always looked onto you with the highest... hic!
- Mr Vole: I don't know Mother. Now we are nearly there I feel almost sad.
- Mrs Vole: Sad? Huh! I'm looking forward to being a vole again, I don't know about you! But I know what you mean son. And take comfort in your dreams will never be the dreams of an ordinary vole, never again. Your dreams will be different till the day you die, and so will mine, for I am proud to be a Farthing Wood traveller. And as for that Oath we made, we will keep it amongst ourselves and our children, and our children's children, so that the spirit of the journey will be kept alive forever.
- Fox: Well said!
- White Stag: (To Toad) To have made this journey once is remarkable. To have done it twice is extraordinary. News of your coming reached us long ago.
- Badger: We are so glad to be here. And it's all thanks to Fox. We'd never have done it without him.
- Fox: I only wish... we could all have made it.
- White Stag: But those of you who did have made history.
(The Stag leads the animals to a spot overlooking the park)
- White Stag: Welcome to White Deer Park.