The Looney Tunes Show
The Looney Tunes Show was an American animated sitcom that used to air on Cartoon Network. The show features characters from the Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies theatrical cartoons updated for the 21st century. It is produced by Warner Bros. Animation.
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- Daffy Duck: I did it! I got us on tomorrow's episode of "Besties!"
- Bugs Bunny: How'd you managed that?
- Daffy Duck: There are some things you shouldn't know about me. But you better know everything else.
- Bugs Bunny: I'm more concerned with how little you know about me.
- Daffy Duck: I know everything about you. Hit me with some questions. Go ahead.
- Bugs Bunny: Alright, what's my favorite color?
- Daffy Duck: Pass.
- Bugs Bunny: What time do I go to bed at night?
- Daffy Duck: Pass. Give me something easy.
- Bugs Bunny: Fine. When's my birthday?
- Daffy Duck: January... February... Septem... December.... Jul... July! July 1st, July 2nd, July 3rd, July 4th. 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th!
- Bugs Bunny: 27th.
- Daffy Duck: July 27th! Well happy extremely belated birthday, or happy extremely early birthday.
- Daffy Duck: Bugs Bunny. Dumped. I've been there brother, you'll never get over it. Let me buy you some golf clubs! Waiter, bring this man your finest set of golf clubs, and charge it to 16-73!
- Walter Bunny: 16-73? That's my membership number! [He comes up to Daffy angrily and punches Daffy in the face]
Jailbird and Jailbunny
- [Bugs and Daffy getting their mug shots]
- Guard: Name?
- Daffy Duck: Daffy Duck.
- Guard: Crime?
- Daffy Duck: Contempt of court.
- Guard: Name?
- Bugs Bunny: Bugs Bunny.
- Guard: Crime?
- Bugs Bunny: Well, some might say being too good looking. [Bugs poses as he would for a magazine cover while hip music plays] Nah, I'm just kidding. Contempt of court.
The Foghorn Leghorn Story
- Yosemite Sam: Are you tryin' to make me look like a fool?!
- Bugs Bunny: You don't need me to make you look like a fool.
- Yosemite Sam: You're darn right, I don't!
Off Duty Cop
- [In a hostage like situation]
- Bugs Bunny: [while aiming a pen on Porky's face] I just want my spargle.
- Daffy Duck: [draws out the stapler] Put down the pen!
- Bugs Bunny: Put down the stapler or I'll write over the pig's face!!!
- Porky Pig: Why does everyone want to write over my face?
- Bugs Bunny: [hysterically] Just give me my spargle.
- Daffy Duck: Put down the pen!!!
- Porky Pig: That's permanent ink!!!
- Bugs Bunny: [more hysterically] I said "give me my spargle!!"
- Daffy Duck: PUT IT DOWN!
- Porky Pig: P--Permanent!!!
- Bugs Bunny: I'M NOT LEAVING HERE UNTIL YOU GIVE ME MY SPARGLE!!!
- Daffy Duck: I SAID "PUT IT DOWN!!!"
- Porky Pig: I--It won't come off!
- Yosemite Sam: [whistles that stops the commotion] This is a place of business. This are hardworking people who simply want to sell a quality product. What in tarnation is illegal about that?
- [FBI agents arrive]
- FBI Lead Agent: You're all under arrest.
- [All staff make a run for it]
- Yosemite Sam: What's going on here?
- FBI Lead Agent: This whole operation's a scam. These things were filled with dangerous highly addictive chemicals.
- Bugs Bunny: But what about the spargler berries!? [starts crying]
- FBI Lead Agent: Somebody get that guy to a doctor.
- [The FBI agents wrapped a blanket over Bugs and send him to the hospital]
- Yosemite Sam: Am I under arrest? I'm just an innocent sales representative.
- FBI Lead Agent: Well, that all depends. Did you know you were selling a dangerous product?
- [The FBI Agents starts chasing a naked Yosemite Sam through the hallways]
- Daffy Duck: Thanks for helping out, I'll take it from here.
- FBI Lead Agent: Who are you?
- Daffy Duck: Steve St. James, Off Duty Cop.
- FBI Lead Agent: Arrest this one too.
- [An FBI Agent handcuffs Daffy]
- Daffy Duck: What did I do?
- FBI Lead Agent: You've been impersonating a cop and handcuffing people all over town.
- Daffy Duck: What about him? He's been impersonating a chauffeur.
- FBI Lead Agent: That's not illegal. It's pathetic, but it's not illegal. Get this guy outta my face. [The FBI Agent walks away with Daffy] I'm putting you down as a witness, so I'm gonna need your name too.
- Porky Pig: B--Brandon Steel.
- FBI Lead Agent: I'm just gonna put "chauffeur".
- [Porky sighs]
- [As the three are stranded in Alaska]
- Sylvester: Sufferin' succotash, where are we?
- Taz: Ooohh. Cold! Taz hate cold!
- Tweety: Oh, what a disastrous place this is! I'm already freezing my tail feathers off! [He touched his tail feather and it falls out]
- Sylvester: Don't panic. Maybe I can see home from the top of that mountain.
- Tweety: Mountain? You'll be a frozen catsicle before you ever get there.
- Sylvester: Look, bird. It's your fault we're in this resulting predicament!
- Tweety: My fault? I didn't do nothing!
- Sylvester: You tempted me.
- Tweety: By taking a bath? You got problems, man! I'm going to find a nice, warm town!
- Sylvester: You, beast! Coming with me?
- Taz: Taz.
- Sylvester: What?
- Taz: Name, Taz!
- Sylvester: Let's go, Taz. I hope I never see you again, bane of my existence!