The Looney Tunes Show

The Looney Tunes Show was an American animated sitcom that used to air on Cartoon Network. The show features characters from the Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies theatrical cartoons updated for the 21st century. It is produced by Warner Bros. Animation.

Season 1

Best Friends

Daffy Duck: I did it! I got us on tomorrow's episode of "Besties!"

Bugs Bunny: How'd you managed that?

Daffy Duck: There are some things you shouldn't know about me. But you better know everything else.

Bugs Bunny: I'm more concerned with how little you know about me.

Daffy Duck: I know everything about you. Hit me with some questions. Go ahead.

Bugs Bunny: Alright, what's my favorite color?

Daffy Duck: Pass.

Bugs Bunny: What time do I go to bed at night?

Daffy Duck: Pass. Give me something easy.

Bugs Bunny: Fine. When's my birthday?

Daffy Duck: January... February... Septem... December.... Jul... July! July 1st, July 2nd, July 3rd, July 4th. 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th!

Bugs Bunny: 27th.

Daffy Duck: July 27th! Well happy extremely belated birthday, or happy extremely early birthday.

Members Only

Daffy: Bugs Bunny. Dumped. I have been their brother; you will never get over it. Let me buy you some golf clubs! Waiter, bring this man your finest set of golf clubs, and charge it to sixteen to seventy-three!

Walter: Sixteen to seventy-three? That is my membership number! [comes up to Daffy, angrily, and punches him in the face]

Daffy: Sounds like she likes you two going out again?

Bugs: Could you drop that thing on me again?

---

Lola: Wait until you meet Pepe. He is the wedding planner for the R.O.G.O.O.O.C.C.

Bugs: Cannot you people just say country club?

Pepe: Lola, Mon Cheri. [kisses her on both cheeks] And this must be the lucky groom. [kisses Bugs on both cheeks] Mm. So lucky. So, so lucky. Your wedding day is the single most important day of your life. I should know, I have been married seven times. Now, I am seeing an outdoor ceremony. You should feel the beauty of nature embracing you as you walk down the aisle. The smell of honeysuckle kissing your cheeks as you exchange your vows.

Bugs: Ugh.

Pepe: There will not be a dry eye in the house.

Bugs: I will be crying harder than anyone.

Jailbird and Jailbunny

[Bugs and Daffy getting their mug shots]

Guard: Name?

Daffy: Daffy Duck.

Guard: Crime?

Daffy: Contempt of court.

Guard: Name?

Bugs: Bugs Bunny.

Guard: Crime?

Bugs: Well, some might say being too good looking. [Bugs poses as he would for a magazine cover while hip music plays] Nah, I'm just kidding. Contempt of court.

---

Daffy: Can you keep it down?! I'm trying to sleep!

Bugs: Well, I'm trying to read, and it's not easy with you tossing and turning.

Daffy: You think I like having to share a bed with you?

Bugs: At least in prison we weren't chained together. We had a whole cell to enjoy. Oh, cell block #5!

Daffy: Well, you're no picnic, either! You think I enjoy listening to you wax nostalgic about your time in jail? Ha! And by the way, a prison nickname doesn't count, if you give it to yourself, dynamite!

Bugs: You better watch it, Duck, because the fuse just got lit! [flexes his arm with a dynamite stick tattoo; Daffy spits his hand and wipes the tattoo off; gasps] How dare you! No one, and I mean no one, would do something that rude in prison! Now good night, Leopold.

Daffy: Good night, Randy.

Fish and Visitors

Daffy Duck: What have I always say: don’t involve in your neighbor’s business. Before you know it, their business is your business.

Reunion

Daffy Duck: You were the President of New Mexico?!

---

[Daffy Duck reads a letter until the Mailman comes by.]

Mailman: Um... What are you doing?

Daffy: [Beat] reading a letter.

Mailman: That's not addressed to you.

Daffy: Oh? Is that a crime?

Mailman: Yes! [snatches the letter away then gives him the mail] This is your mail.

Daffy: Look. [tries to give Mailman the money] here's a twenty-spot if you give me back that letter.

Mailman: Bribing a governor official is also a crime. [the "twenty-dollar money" is revealed to be a paper with crayons drawn in it.] And is this counterfeit money?!

Daffy: What?! You're going to tell me that's a crime, too?! [Gets close to his face] Last time I checked, I was living in America. Ooh! Look over there! [attempts to distract the Mailman to grab the letter only for him to get pepper sprayed. He screams in pain as the Mailman drives away.]

Daffy: SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PEOPLE DO NOT LET ME READ YOUR MAIL?!

Casa De Calma

Bugs: You think I should let that one slide? Yeah! Me neither!

Devil Dog

Pete: Hey mister, you forgot your lock!

The Foghorn Leghorn Story

Yosemite Sam: Are you tryin' to make me look like a fool?!

Bugs Bunny: You don't need me to make you look like a fool.

Yosemite Sam: You're darn right, I don't!

---

Daffy Duck: Did you just call me a "no rooster?"

Foghorn Leghorn: What are you gonna do about it, huh, son? I say, what are you gonna do about it?

[Daffy viciously punches Foghorn in the face]

Double Date

Tina Russo: [Deadpan] Can I help you?

Daffy Duck: Daffy Duck. I am here to pick up my business cards.

[Tina gets a box of business cards with Daffy’s name and the word wizard]

Bugs Bunny [realizing what he just did]: What just happened?

Porky Pig: I really need to get a girlfriend.

To Bowl or Not to Bowl

Daffy: Strike!

Bugs & Daffy Get a Job

Bugs: Where'd you get that?

Daffy: Why didn't you tell me I have a bump on my beak?!

Bugs: I never noticed a bump.

Daffy: Do not patronize me. If there's something wrong with me that I don't know about, then you owe it to me, as my best friend, to tell me.

Bugs: All right. You're narcissist. You're a sociopath. You're probably a psychopath. You're a...

(Line was cut after the elevator door closes, lifts to the carpark then ding sounds) ... You're paranoid, sexist, and you make fun of the elderly.

Daffy: Those are just quirks. Endearing quirks. I'm talking about something important. My appearance. And if you won't be honest with me, then I'll find someone who will. (He gives the toilet to Bugs) Here. Take this home for me. It's a really good toilet. (They walk out of the carpark)

That's My Baby

Daffy: Lt. Riggs doesn't make it! He never sees Barbara again!

---

Porky: (after the credits) Th-h-h-h-h-That's all folk-(stomach rumbles). I knew I shouldn't have those artichoke p-p-p-poppers.

Sunday Night Slice

Daffy: I bet you're a terrible husband and father!

(Batter turns around and misses the ball)

Umpire: Strike 3!

Daffy: (laughs)

(Daffy is hit with the ball and collapses)

Bugs: ...And he's out!

---

Bugs: (talking to Marvin and Daffy) And you two make the pizza. Any questions?

Daffy: How do you make pizza?

Daffy: (referring to Pete being in his dream) You were in it, but when you talked, you had a woman's voice.

Pete: Ooooh, did I sound pretty?

Daffy: What's the order?

Pete: I think pizza.

Bugs: You know what they say: starve a cold, feed a head injury.

Bugs: Like pizza dough, we'll rise to the occasion.

Bugs: Turns out the secret to a successful restaurant: a mouse.

Speedy: Tell that to the health department.

Porky: (stuttering) This whole time I've been eating pepperoni, I've been eating me!

---

Speedy: (after the end credits, taking off his sombrero) ¡Hasta luego, amigos!

DMV

Bugs: C'mon we're gonna be late for the movie!

Daffy: (walks down the stairs dressed as a school girl)

Bugs: What are you wearing?

Daffy: I don't know about you, but I'm getting a student discount.

Bugs: (picks up car keys)

Daffy: You're driving? You always drive. Let me drive! (opens door to reveal a parade float with a giant Daffy on the roof)

Bugs: I'm not going in that thing.

Daffy: It's not a thing, it's a parade float.

Daffy: Well, guess what? I'm a man too, and today this man is wearing the pants! (in high-pitched voice) Oops, almost forgot my purse! Come on, you big lug!

Officer: Can I see your driver's license?

Daffy: My what?

Bugs: Just give him your driver's license.

Daffy: What's a driver's license?

Bugs: You don't have a driver's license?

Officer: Sir, you're not allowed to operate a vehicle without a driver's license. Please step out of the car or I'm gonna have it towed.

Daffy: Towed?! But, I'm just an innocent school girl and this is my baby brother. (looks toward Bugs) Put on the diaper!

Bugs: (answering his phone) Hey Lola.

Lola: Hey Bugs! Whatcha doing?

Bugs: Standing on the side of a road.

Lola: Fun! Oh my gosh, you're never gonna believe this, there is a guy standing on the side of the road who looks just like you. I'm about to hit him.

(Bugs notices Lola's car and gets out of the way before she hits him)

Lola: (rolling down her window) You look just like my boyfriend!

(After noticing the cop)

Lola: I can't go to jail! I'm too pretty! I won't last a day. No wait, I'll work out, I'll get really muscular. (lowers voice) My voice will get really deep. I'll run the place. (rolls down window) Hi, officer.

Officer: Can I see your drivers license?

Lola: Absolutely! Just one second. (grabs purse) Okay, let me see here. Ooh, here we go! Oh, wait, that's my credit card! (The officer clicks his pen) Here we go! Oops, no, that's a recipe for salmon balls. They're really good! Here it is, oh no that's my frozen yogurt frequent muncher card. Two more and I get a free waffle cone! Mmm-mmm-mmm! Oh, here it is! It was hiding! Oh no, wait, that's a picture of Bugs; isn't he cute? (Lola shows a picture of Bugs hiding behind a shower curtain, while Bugs slaps his forehead) Here it is. Wait, that's a basketball card. Manu Ginóbili. I love Manu Ginóbili! Oh, here it is, oops, fortune cookie fortune! (reads fortune cookie) You will receive an unexpected letter from a friend. How does the cookie know that? That's crazy. I'm sorry, what did you want?

Officer: Your driver's license.

Lola: O-o-o-h, yeah, I don't have one of those.

---

(Lola reads a study guide)

Lola: Hmm, okay, interesting, okay, makes sense, oh, that's a good rule. Yep! Got it! Okay, I'm ready to take the test!

Bugs: You, uh, read that awfully fast. You sure?

Lola: Uh, does a red light mean go?

Off Duty Cop

[In a hostage like situation]

Bugs Bunny: [while aiming a pen on Porky's face] I JUST WANT MY SPARGLE!!!!!!

Daffy Duck: [draws out the stapler] Put down the pen!

Bugs Bunny: Put down the stapler or I'll write over the pig's face!!!

Porky Pig: Why does everyone want to write over my face?

Bugs Bunny: [hysterically] Just give me my Spargle!

Daffy Duck: Put down the pen!!!

Porky Pig: That's permanent ink!!!

Bugs Bunny: [more hysterically] I said give me my Spargle!!

Daffy Duck: PUT IT DOWN!!!

Porky Pig: P--Permanent!!!

Bugs Bunny: I'M NOT LEAVING HERE UNTIL YOU GIVE ME MY SPARGLE!!!''

Daffy Duck: I SAID "PUT IT DOWN!!!"

Porky Pig: I--It won't come off!

Yosemite Sam: [whistles that stops the commotion] This is a place of business. This are hardworking people who simply want to sell a quality product. What in tarnation is illegal about that?

[FBI agents arrive]

FBI Lead Agent: You're all under arrest.

[All staff make a run for it]

Yosemite Sam: What's going on here?

FBI Lead Agent: This whole operation's a scam. These things were filled with dangerous highly addictive chemicals.

Bugs Bunny: But what about the spargler berries!? [starts crying]

FBI Lead Agent: Somebody get that guy to a doctor.

[The FBI agents wrapped a blanket over Bugs and send him to the hospital]

Yosemite Sam: Am I under arrest? I'm just an innocent sales representative.

FBI Lead Agent: Well, that all depends. Did you know you were selling a dangerous product?

[The FBI Agents starts chasing a naked Yosemite Sam through the hallways]

Daffy Duck: Thanks for helping out, I'll take it from here.

FBI Lead Agent: Who are you?

Daffy Duck: Steve St. James, Off Duty Cop.

FBI Lead Agent: Arrest this one too.

[An FBI Agent handcuffs Daffy]

Daffy Duck: What did I do?

FBI Lead Agent: You've been impersonating a cop and handcuffing people all over town.

Daffy Duck: What about him? He's been impersonating a chauffeur.

FBI Lead Agent: That's not illegal. It's pathetic, but it's not illegal. Get this guy outta my face. [The FBI Agent walks away with Daffy] I'm putting you down as a witness, so I'm gonna need your name too.

Porky Pig: B--Brandon Steel.

FBI Lead Agent: I'm just gonna put "chauffeur".

[Porky sighs]

Working Duck

(Bugs reads Daffy's resume through his computer.)

Bugs: Daffy Sheldon Duck. Education: None. References: None. Skills: None. Work Experience: Let's not go there. Are you a complete nitwit?

Daffy: No, I'm a dunderhead. At least according to this Internet IQ Test.

(The IQ test result on his computer reads the text "You're a dunderhead.")

Bugs: Daffy, for the past 3 months, I've been pulling you a weight because I thought you're looking for a job.

Daffy: Why do I look for a job when you pull my weight?

Bugs: So what you're saying is; I'm enabling you.

Daffy: You're not enabling me. You're simply shielding me from the consequences of my own self-destructive behavior.

Bugs: I think you're right. And I'm not gonna do it anymore.

Bugs: Daffy, for your own good. I'm kicking you out.

Daffy: What?! (Bugs pushes him out of the house) Well, guess what? You can't kick me out because I am leaving.

Bugs: Good.

Daffy: Great. I'm going to get my stuff.

Bugs: Okay.

---

Daffy: I packed my suitcase and I'm going.

Bugs: That's my suitcase.

Daffy: Well, I just take my stuff.

Bugs: That's my stuff.

Daffy: I don't need your stuff. I don't need you. I can make it on my own just fine. So I'm going. I'll see you around. I am going, right now. I'm gone. G-O-N. Gone.

Daffy: Arrivederci!

Daffy: Pfft. I don't need a friend telling me to pull my weight. I don't need a job. I don't even need that jive. I'm Daffy Duck. You hear that, world? (He walks back to Bugs' house.) I can take care of myself. (He knocks on the door as Bugs open the door.) Please take care of me! (starts sobbing)

---

Foghorn: When I say... When I took over Enormocorp 10 years ago, I vowed... I say, I vowed to make Enormocorp a world leading industry.

Daffy: (Imitating Foghorn Leghorn) I say, I say. I'm a big fat rooster and I run the company. Look at me with my big, fat finger around like I'm the boss of you. I run the fifth...

Foghorn: What? I say, what is going on here?

Daffy: (Continues imitating) I say, I say. (Continues laughing, then stops)

Foghorn: Get in here. (Daffy points to himself) Yes, you.

Daffy: (to Foghorn) Just go with your gut! You've got a big enough one.

---

Bugs: (after turning off the TV) Ugh. If I knew all that was going to happen, I would have kept enabling you.

Daffy: At least I learned a big lesson.

Bugs: What's that?

Daffy: When I pull my own weight, I pull a lot of stuff down with it.

Daffy: (after tripping) Call Dr. Weisberg!

---

Daffy: (after the credits) Can I interest you in a muffin? I ate half of it. It's not very good!

French Fries

Daffy: Hey, Speedy, Porky finally got a girlfriend.

Speedy: Ooh, good for you, Pinky. I thought you were gonna be one of those "always-leaves-alone" guys, who just gets more and more desperate until he alienates the few friends that he has, and then he's just alone. So, what a relief for you. Now when can we meet this new girlfriend?

Porky: Ugh. I don't have a girlfriend.

Speedy: Well, stay in the game, pinky. But, maybe you should think about growing a beard. You got so much…face.

Daffy: That was your exciting news, because you don't have a girlfriend?

Porky: No. I got us playoff tickets.

Bugs: What? How did you get tickets? They've been sold out for weeks!

Porky: My uncle works at the league office.

Bugs: Porky, I can't believe we're going to the playoffs!

Porky: I'm picking up the tickets this afternoon.

---

Daffy: My friendship with Porky is over!

Bugs: What?

Daffy: He ate my french fries!

Bugs: What french fries?

Daffy: The ones that came with my sandwich!

Bugs: He probably thought they were for the table.

Daffy: There were not for the table! They were my fries! They came with my sandwich! You want fries? Order fries! But you do not take someone else's fries! That is a garbage move! Porky is a piece... of... garbage!

Bugs: Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?

Daffy: I am not being dramatic! (puts on sunglasses and wraps a scarf around his neck and gets out of the car) Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to walk myself home. That's right. Walk home through this unsavory neighborhood where I'll surely be sat upon by ruffians and miscreants, street hustlers and road monkeys. None of whom, by the by, come close to being the kind of garbage that is Porky Pig! Now good day, sir. (Bugs drives away; Daffy looks back, feeling alone) Bugs?

---

Daffy: Don't you know when someone's being dramatic?

---

Bugs: Here's my ticket. Kinda of a long story. They had a fight. French fries.

---

Porky: Oh, I'm sorry. Is this for the table or it is just for you?

Daffy: I'm not talking to you.

Porky: Well, I'm not talking to you!

Daffy: Too late. You just talked to me.

Porky: Real mature, Daffy.

Daffy: Daffy!

Porky: Stop copying me.

Daffy: Stop copying me.

Porky:: Daffy. Stop it.

Daffy: Daffy. Stop it.

Porky: I'm serious.

Daffy: I'm serious.

(Both sigh)

Beauty School

Bugs: So, what do you want to see?

Lola: I don't know, aliens?

Bugs: Isn't that an old movie?

Lola: It's a movie? (both awkwardly look at each other)

Lola: I am such a good girlfriend! Dropping by uninvited without calling first. Guys love that!

Daffy: What's tonight's homework?

Tina: A perm.

Daffy: A perm? What is this, 1984?

---

(Lola knocks on Bugs' door)

Bugs: Oh hey Lo... (Lola instantly responds)

Lola: (while staring at him furiously) Who is she?!

Bugs: Who?

Lola: That ugly woman I saw leaving your house and driving your car.

Bugs: First of all she's not ugly, and second of all that was me.

Lola: Say what?

Bugs: It's very simple, Tina's going to beauty school but Daffy's doing her homework for her. So I was wearing a wig that he was cutting, when I remembered I was late for a dance class that I agreed to take with Porky.

Lola: (appears displeased with Bugs' explanation) How dumb do you think I am? (menacingly while walking backwards) I'm gonna be watching you. You hear me? Watching you. Like a hawk. I'm watching you. (Destroys the mailbox and trips over her car) Ouch. Uhhmpp!!! Off! Where'd that come from?! Watching you!

---

Lola: (after the end credits) That's the end of the... (loses balance and falls off the WB shaped door) Whoa.. (thuds offscreen)

The Float

Daffy: (as he nearly drowns in his bed sheets) I regret nothing! (Daffy rises back up) Except for not buying those life jackets. (he wakes up in the hospital after nearly drowning) It was a dream. It was all a dream. That explains why I was such a horrible person and did all those horrible things.

Bugs: Ehh, not a dream. You are a horrible person and you did do those horrible things.

---

Daffy: (after the end credits) Psst. Hey, you wanna buy a watch?

The Shelf

Daffy: The butter is hard!

Porky: What?

Daffy: I said the butter is hard because somebody failed to let it soften before serving dinner.

Porky: I'm sorry i just got so busy with the creme brulee--

Daffy: But you're not too busy to make excuses!

Porky: Ow! That hurt!

Daffy: I bet it hurts because it's hard!

Daffy: Are those store-bough rolls?

Porky: Ow!

Daffy: Of course you're saying "OW!" They're like rocks.

---

[As they enter, Daffy and Speedy were shocked to see the house was destroyed]

Bugs Bunny: [crazed like] I got the shelf up!

The Muh-Muh-Muh-Murder

Daffy: (after the end credits) I still think Porky is the murderer.

Point, Laser Point

Sylvester: What's wrong with me? I can't do anything but think about that red dot!

Season 2

Bobcats on Three!

Daffy: [entering the house] We won again! One more goal, and the bobcats are state champions!

Bugs: Oh, that's great! We should have a party to celebrate. [sits up, revealing to be fully weight gained] What?

Daffy: You look different. Did you get a haircut?

Bugs: No. (I didn't.)

Daffy: Are those new gloves?

Bugs: [looks at his gloves] No. (They're not.)

---

Bugs: You know, if Daffy's team wins, we should celebrate. Have a party at my place tonight.

Porky: Bugs, I don't think I should be your caterer anymore.

Bugs: What?

Porky: Those recipes aren't healthy. No one's supposed to eat that much butter.

Bugs: Aw, come on. What's the big deal?

Porky: I think you're the big deal.

You've Got Hate Mail

Porky: What's with the sunglasses?

Daffy: I'm keeping a low profile.

Witch Hazel: [knocks off Daffy's sunglasses with her wand; annoyed] You got some nerve!

Daffy: What? Because of the email? Because I said you're scary witch? You're not!

---

Speedy: More iced tea?

Daffy: Not too much ice. [Speedy annoyingly pours the tea on him] You're mad? Why are you mad? Because I said calling yourself speedy sounds braggy? It does. I don't call myself handsome.

Speedy: [annoyed] You know what people should call you? Jerk.

Porky: Why is everyone so mad at you?

Daffy: I accidentally sent a mass email spelling out in great detail how I feel about people.

Porky: Ah, who else did you send it to?

Daffy: Everybody. Everyone I've ever interacted with. Everyone who matters to me, who I have a relationship with. Anyone who makes any impression on me at all. So... everybody. Every single person in my life.

Porky: You didn't send it to me.

Dear John

[Bugs is seen driving a boat unaware Lola is right behind him driving a ski boat calling out to him. He finally hears her and looks back and surprised to see her]

Bugs Bunny: Lola?

[He stops his boat causing Lola accidentally crash into the back fly right in. Bugs lifts her up]

Daffy Duck Esquire

Bugs Bunny: [amused at Daffy’s lobster pain] Relatively painless.

Daffy Duck: People need to chill out.

Gribbler's Quest

Daffy: Bag-less, light weight, durable five-year warranty, free ship… Free shipping? Hello, mommy. I think someone just made her way to my cart. Do I wanna proceed to checkout or buy all my items with a simple quick click? Do you have to ask? Quick click. See you babies in three to five business days.

Bugs: [offscreen] Daffy!

[Outside, Bugs and Daffy stand in front of the garage as Bugs opens the garage door and the inside reveals lots of packages]

Daffy: Yeah?

Bugs: What is all this?

Daffy: Stuff I bought on the Internet.

Bugs: How did you pay for it?

Daffy: You don't have to pay for it. You just press quick click.

Bugs: You used my computer! The quick click is connected to my bank account!

Daffy: Oh, that's why it always says, "Thank you for purchase, Mr. Bunny."

Bugs: It's all going back.

Daffy: But I need all this stuff!

Bugs: I think you have a shopping problem.

Daffy: I don't have a shopping problem.

Bugs: Oh, really? A battery operated spaghetti fork?

Daffy: It's the ultimate time saver. Says it right there on the package.

Bugs: It's going back.

---

Bugs: Video games? What are you, nine years old?

Daffy: It's not just any video game, it's the best video game. "Gribbler's Quest 4: Elves VS. Fairies VS. Gribblers." You can play it as an elf or as a fairy. But you have to get to level 15 to be a gribbler.

Bugs: [annoyingly swipes the game console out of his hands] I don't want one more package delivered to this house.

Daffy: Fine. [shouting as Bugs goes inside the house] I would've let you use the toilet paper warmer!

Bugs: [closes the front door and walks into the kitchen] "Elves VS. Fairies VS. Gribblers." [sets the game console down on the table and gets a soda can out from the fridge] What the heck is a gribbler, anyway?

---

Pepe: I know in the past, we've talked a lot about my fear of commitment. Uh, I don't know if this qualifies as a breakthrough or not, uh, but this week, I've decided to try online dating.

Daffy: What is this?

Yosemite Sam: It's a group therapy.

Daffy: What? I don't need group therapy.

Yosemite Sam: Shh!

Therapist: Sam, do you have anything you'd like to share?

Yosemite Sam: I had, uh, I had a setback this week. I shot my dry cleaner.

Pepe: [shocked] Huh?!

Yosemite Sam: Oh, it's just a water pistol, but I-I just kept a-shootin'. I couldn't stop. I just felt so angry.

Therapist: Why were you angry?

Yosemite Sam: They didn't get the stain out of my kerchief.

Therapist: Do you think your anger might have been… misdirected?

Yosemite Sam: Oh, wow. I hadn't thought of that. Well, I wasn't mad at him at all.

Therapist: How do you think you're actually angry with?

Yosemite Sam: It was those kids. I'm mad at all those kids who used to tease me on the playground! It's not my fault I had a mustache in 3rd grade. I just wanted to be like everybody else. [bursts into tears] No one gave me a chance!

Ridiculous Journey

[As the three are stranded in Alaska]

Sylvester: Sufferin' succotash, where are we?

Taz: Ooohh. Cold! Taz hate cold!

Tweety: Oh, what a disastrous place this is! I'm already freezing my tail feathers off! [He touched his tail feather and it falls out]

Sylvester: Don't panic. Maybe I can see home from the top of that mountain.

Tweety: Mountain? You'll be a frozen catsicle before you ever get there.

Sylvester: Look, bird. It's your fault we're in this resulting predicament!

Tweety: My fault? I didn't do nothing!

Sylvester: You tempted me.

Tweety: By taking a bath? You got problems, man! I'm going to find a nice, warm town!

Sylvester: You, beast! Coming with me?

Taz: Taz.

Sylvester: What?

Taz: Name, Taz!

Sylvester: Let's go, Taz. I hope I never see you again, bane of my existence!

Best Friends Redux

[Bugs, Daffy, Porky, and Rodney are all hanging out at Speedy's Pizzariba]

Rodney: Man, Bugs, you haven't changed a bit.

Porky: Eh, so how did you guys meet?

Rodney: Summer camp.

Daffy: Lame.

Bugs: Camp Winninake.

Porky: Camp Winninake? I went to Camp Winninake!

Bugs: Oh, really? I don't remember you there. What cabin were you in? We were Cabin Seven, the Sharks.

Porky: Oh, Cabin Three, the Tadpoles. None of us could swim, so we did a lot of inside activities.

Rodney: Ooh, man, I remember the first day of camp. I didn't even want to get off the bus. But then I met Bugs, and we became best friends.