The Loud House/Season 2
The Loud House (2016–present) is an American animated television series created by Chris Savino for Nickelodeon. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
11 Louds a Leapin' (Episode 1)
- Lori: I can't help it. The sound of the paper tearing, the smell of the tape, that moment when you stick the bow in your hair. [tackles Luan] Gimme that!
- Luan: You gotta kick this habit, Lori. We don't want a repeat of last year.
[flashback of the previous Christmas: Lori is caught unwrapping the presents]
- Lori: Ha-ha, you guys got some great stuff!
- Lincoln: Merry Christmas, Mr. Grouse.
- Lana: We all chipped in and got you something.
- [Lincoln gives him the present and Mr. Grouse opens it]
- Lynn: It's a bus ticket.
- Luan: So you can go see your family for Christmas tomorrow.
- Rita: And since you can't be with them tonight, [she and Lynn Sr. finally reveal their faces] we're bringing our family to you.
- Lynn Sr.: How 'bout it, neighbor?
Intern for the Worse (2.1)
- Flip: [cleaning a car windshield] See, boys? Across and down! That's the technique. [hands the cleaning brush to Lincoln.] Now it's your turn.
- Lincoln: But we're out of window cleaner; should I go in the store and get some?
- Flip: You kiddin' me, that stuff costs 40¢ a gallon! Here. [wipes his eyebrows with the brush and squeezes the sweat into the bucket]
- Margo: Yeah, yeah. Can you hold my dog, Lynnsanity? I gotta take a wicked dump!
- Lynn: No, Margo. You cannot go number two until we are number one.
- [Margo's stomach gurgles]
The Old and the Restless (2.2)
- [Scoots glugging from the pudding dispenser]
- Sue: [blows whistle] I expressly said no pudding!
- Scoots: You'll never catch me, shrew!
- Lincoln: [rushes to a tree] Pop-Pop!
- Pop-Pop: [fart] Whoops! Guess I had too much chili. Sorry, kiddo. I think I overdid it a little today.
- Lincoln: That's okay, Pop-Pop. If we hurry, we can still get you back in time. Hold on. [proceeds to get him down]
Baby Steps (3.1)
- Clyde: Wow. You didn't even need a cookie.
- Lily: Cookie?
- Lincoln: [gives Lily one] Sometimes it's safer to spell.
- Lincoln: [seeing Clyde runs away from his younger sisters] Clyde! What happened?
- Clyde: [opens the door only to run into Lori] L-L-Lori? [gets a nosebleed and passes out]
- Lori: Whatever.
Brawl in the Family (3.2)
- Luna: Lori had the dress first! She told me the whole story last night!
- Luan: Well, Leni told me her side, and she clearly had the dress first!
- Luna: Ha! That's funnier than most of your lame jokes!
- Luan: Oh I'm sorry I couldn't hear you! I've gone partially deaf from your horrible guitar playing!
- Lincoln: Next time when Lynn says she needs a windshield wiper when Lisa talks, or Lana says Lola snores like Pop-Pop, I am staying out of it.
- Lisa: You said what now, Sporty?! [spitting on her due to her lisp]
- Lola: Oh, I snore, do I? How can you hear me over all your sleepfarting?!
Suite and Sour (4.1)
- Lori: [on balcony, talking to Bobby] Huh, I can't believe he hung up. [tries to enter the room, but the door is locked] Not again!
- Rita: Think we've should've told them why we really got kicked out?
- [flashback to yesterday. Rita and Lynn Sr are in the hotel manager's office and shown security footage of them skinny-dipping at the pool.]
- Manager: Well, care to explain?
- Lynn Sr.: [places a coin on the manager's desk] Let's say we just forget about this?
- Manager: That's a button, pal.
- [end flashback]
- Lynn Sr.: Ah, we'll tell them when they're older.
- Rita: [angrily] You're all grounded to the room for the rest of the weekend. Your father and I would like to try to enjoy some relaxation time!
Back in Black (4.2)
- Lori: Lola! Did you take my Red Riot lipstick again?!
- Lola: No, but someone took my perfume; I bet it was Leni!
- Leni: Was not, but I'd like to know who took my pink chiffon dress, Lori! [she, Lori, , and Lola argue]
- Lola: Hang on, I smell my perfume! [to Lynn and Lucy's room] Lynn? Ya better not be using my perfume to cover the stink of your hockey pads!
- [Lincoln and Rocky are fixing the Solar System project]
- Rusty: So, the dog did this?!
- Lincoln: Uh, yup, Bad Charles! [Charles whimpers and drags his butt across the carpet in frustration]
Making the Grade (5.1)
- Lincoln: Lisa, I think you're officially part of the gang.
- Assistant: McBride, Principal Huggins will see you next.
- Clyde: He doesn't scare me. [steps in confidently, but then begins pleading sorrowfully] I'm so sorry! Please don't put this on my record!
- Lisa: What about the gang and being part of it?
- Lincoln: I'd rather be the one to suffer than a classroom full of kids with strep throat. Man, I can't have that on my conscience.
- Lisa: Okay. But if I go back to being smart Lisa, you're getting the whole package, i.e., unabashed superiority and zero tolerance for ignoramuses. It'll probably be back to the sticky table for you.
- Lincoln: That's a chance I'm willing to take.
- Lisa: You're a good man, Lincoln Loud. As Socrates once quipped-- [gets squirted again] Yak! Ah, to heck with this thing! [takes the collar off and tosses it aside]
Vantastic Voyage (5.2)
- Lucy: Hey, Dad, we made Piz-zilla. Pizza shaped like Vanzilla.
- Lynn: Brings back some memories, doesn't it?
- Lynn Sr.: [is about to eat his pizza when the toppings fall off] It sure does. Everything's fallen off it just like Vanzilla. [chuckles] Glad that heap's gone.
- [Lynn Sr and Rita are heading home in Vanzilla]
- Rita: Thanks for giving up Veronica, dear. I know it was a big sacrifice.
- Lynn Sr.: Pttf! Veronica who? [he and Rita laugh] I'm just glad we can all be together in Vanzilla again.
- Lincoln: [offscreen] We are too, [camera cuts to reveal that Vanzilla is once again being pushed by the siblings, except for Lola who is still practicing her pageant waves] even if we're not actually in Vanzilla!
Patching Things Up (6.1)
- Scout Leader: Now for the Primitive Survival patch; to earn it you must dig a latrine!
- Lola: That sounds French- a latrine: what is it?
- Lana: It's a hole ya poop in!
- [Lola screams in horror so loud birds are scared away]
- Lana: [belches] You know. sometimes you just gotta step out of your comfort zone.
- Lola: I'm already out of my comfort zone! I am eating without a tablecloth!
Cheater by the Dozen (6.2)
- Pam: Why don't you slip out of those clothes, and we'll get started.
- [Bobby starts to take off his clothes and the boys gasp at that]
- Clyde: [covering his eyes] I'm not allowed to watch R-rated movies!
- Lisa: I rigged audio surveillance, but a vicious beast prevented me from installing visuals. [Flashback: Lisa runs away from said vicious beast] Ah, large wild animal! [said beast turns out to be a small cat]
Lock 'n' Loud (7.1)
- Mr. Grouse: [off-screen] Help! Help! I've been robbed! [the Loud kids rush in]
- Lincoln: Mr. Grouse, what happened?
- Mr. Grouse: They cleaned me out! My polka records! My black and white TV! My encyclopedias! All gone! [runs back inside]
- Lori: I literally don't know what any of those things are.
- Mr. Grouse: [his swollen face above the window] Hey, Loud, these muffins got walnuts in 'em! Next time ya want to pay me off for pretending to be robbed, how about giving me something I'm not allergic to?
- Lincoln: Pretending to be robbed?!
- [the Loud kids and Rita scold at Lynn Sr. for lying]
- Lynn Sr.: [sighs] I'm sorry, everyone. I was trying to teach to lock the dang door. I just want to protect my most important valuables: you guys.
- Loud kids and Rita: Awwwww! [hugs Lynn Sr. as forgiveness]
The Whole Picture (7.2)
- Rusty: [dressed as Lucy] Wassup, playas? Lucy Loud is in da house!
- Clyde: Rusty, a little acting tip: Lucy would never say that.
- Rusty: You just worry about your Lola.
- Clyde: I'm Luan! Did you at all prepare for this?!
- Lincoln: [uploading a photo to the cloud] Perfect start to the new Lincoln Library: now with cloud backup.
- Lori: Who used all my lipstick?! [Clyde smiles guiltily]
No Such Luck (8.1)
- Lincoln: We're going to the beach tomorrow?
- Lynn Sr.: Ooh, gosh! Sorry, son! Not you! Someone could get attacked by a shark!
- Lynn: Or caught in a riptide!
- Luna: Or stung by a jellyfish!
- Lana: [gasps] If that happens, I call peeing on the wound!
- Lincoln: Come on, you guys! Be reasonable!
- Lola: You're bad luck, Lincoln! You! Can't! Come!
- [the Louds cheer Lynn, and a costumed Lincoln joins them]
- Lola: Um, do you mind, Fur Ball? This is a family moment.
- Lincoln: Guys, it's me! [takes the mask off] I was here the whole time! This proves it: I'm not bad luck!
- Lynn: Oh my gosh, you're right. Wow, Lincoln, I'm really sorry.
- [the rest of the family apologizes]
- Rita: Sorry we sold all your furniture.
- Lincoln: Wait, what?!
Frog Wild (8.2)
- [Lincoln and Lana try to yank the lock open iwth a key]
- Lana: We have a problem. It's a surface mounted deadbolt with a tumbler locking mechanism.
- Lincoln: In English, please?
- Lana: We'll have to find another way in.
- [predators start targeting the lab frogs]
- Lincoln: Do you wanna be today's lunch special? Move! [the frogs won't move] Why aren't they moving?!
- Lana: Maybe they don't know how to survive in the wild!
Kick the Bucket List (9.1)
- Clyde: [gives a girl a Pizza Box with Lincoln's face] Hey, here you go. I know what it's like to need a friend. "Nice to meet ya!" [leaves the box with the girl, who is confused]
- Lincoln: [meets the bird from earlier in the Loud House] Heh heh. Pretty bird? [the bird attacks Lincoln again and his sisters walk upstairs, deliberately ignoring him]
- Luan: It's probably just another him and Clyde thing.
Party Down (9.2)
- [Lisa and Lily are drinking from the chocolate fountain]
- Lisa: Oh, mama! This theobroma cacao, street name: chocolate, is working wonders on my serotonin levels!
- Lily: [pouring some into her bottle] Goo-goo!
- Leni: I am totally posting this. [posts a photo of Lori with chocolate. Lori's friends get the post and smile. Later, a doorbell rings, and Lori answers it]
- Becky: Yeah, my mom's toe, it's all better.
Fed Up (10.1)
- Lynn Sr.: Guys? Everything okay in there?
- [the kids stop fighting]
- Leni: Like, awesome!
- Lana: Super!
- Lynn Sr.: Good! Your mom and I are getting hungry for dinner! Hope you're almost ready to fork it over!
- Lynn: Now that we totally learned our lesson, can we order pizza?
- Siblings: [excited] Pizza!
- Lana: Indian!
- Rita: Sorry, kids, our food budget for this week is shot.
Shell Shock (10.2)
- Clyde: So what should we call her? Any family names you'd like to honor?
- Penelope: I was thinking we could combine our names. Clyde and Penelope make...
- Clyde: Calliope!
- Penelope: [gasps] Perfect!
- Bobby: :[in lifeguard outfit] Off to save some lives!
- Ronnie Anne: [with his pizza boy shirt] Bobby! The pool closed in September! You're delivering pizzas tonight! [goes after him]
Pulp Friction (11.1)
- [Scoots blocks Vanzilla's path]
- Lola: Move it, lady!
- Scoots: Oh, am I going too slow for you?" [sets her scooter in slow reverse]
- Lola: Hey, what did you think of the Queen of Diamonds? Wasn't she your favorite part? Here! Let me show you some of my ideas for an action figure and a bed sheet set.
- Bill: [seeing the kids gathering to talk to him about the comic] Whoa! This is kind of a... full house!
Pets Peeved (11.2)
- Lana: Guys! Guess what I found! [reveals a spherical dog in her hands]
- Lola: Ooh, pretty earmuffs--gimme!
- Lana: They're not earmuffs. This is a dog. [lifts its bangs up and reveals its eyes] I found it wandering in the park. It doesn't have a collar.
- [Charles, Cliff, Walt, and Geo make big cute shiny eyes to plead the siblings to feed them treats]
- Lincoln: Aw, sorry, guys, you can have treats any time. Right now, this poor lost doggy is hungry.
- [The four pets groan in frustrated anger; Later in the living room, on the sofa]
- Luna: [patting the puppy] Aww. [puts a small pillow under him] Lay your weary head to rest, brah.
- Lana: [lifts up his behind bangs] Uh, that's his butt.
- Luna: [disgusted] Bogus!
- Lynn: [as Cliff jumps on her lap padding his paws] Ow, Cliff, no claws. [puts him down on the floor with the other three]
- [The Loud siblings start fighting over who the puppy will sleep with]
- Lisa: [blows whistle] Fear not, siblings, I have the solution. [pulls out her chalkboard] There are 8 hours of sleep and 11 siblings who desire to share their slumber with the adorable canine. Therefore, said canine will spend 43.6 minutes in each bed.
- Loud Siblings: Agreed! [all go their bedrooms]
- [Charles runs and goes into Lincoln's room]
- Lincoln: [puts Charles out] Sorry, buddy. I gotta keep this spot free for my 43.6 minutes. [closes the door]
- [Charles whimpers as Lori, Lynn, and Lana also put the other pets out for the night]
- Lana: Sorry, Walt.
- Lynn: Sorry, Cliff.
- Lori: Sorry, Geo.
- Green Mile Pet Santcuary Commercial Announcer: Here at the Green Mile Pet Sanctuary, we need your help. All of these cute little animals need a home. For just the cost of a cup of coffee, you could save the life of an adorable, helpless friend. Won't you adopt one today? Green Mile Pet Sanctuary.
- Lisa: [off-screen] Does anyone know why my slide projector was in Charles' doghouse?!
- [the pets worriedly look at each other guiltily]
Potty Mouth (12.1)
- Lola: [holding back her anger] DAH-niel Day-Lewis is a really wonderful actor, don't ya think?
- Lily: [sees Charles] Doggy.
- Lana: Lily didn't see it, Lola. Guess you'll have to do it again.
- Luan: It turns out, we had nothin' to worry about. We're not such a bad influence on Lily after all!
- [everyone cheers before Charles steals Lily's doughnut]
- Lily: [bleep]!
- [everyone gasps in sheer shock]
L is for Love (12.2)
- [the brunettes are excited about being the possible target of the admirer's letter]
- Luna: Rockin'!
- Luan: This is so exciting!
- Lynn: I hope it's me!
- Lisa: Me too!
- Lola: [wearing a large brunette wig] Me three!
- Lana: [takes Lola's wig off her] Nice try, Blondie.
- [Luna takes a deep breath and slips her note into Sam's locker. Some of the musicians pass by.]
- Female Musician: See you later, Sam.
- Sam: Okay, see ya!
- [Sam opens her locker and the note falls out. She picks it up, reads it, and smiles contently at it. Luna, hiding in the corner and having seen it all, smiles, too, knowing that she may have a chance with Sam after all]
The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos (Episode 13)
- [Hector and Bobby run away from the cats]
- Bobby: So, the gang has cats?
- Hector: The gang is cats!
- [Ronnie Anne goes to sleep in the bathtub, but spots Sergio the parrot inside]
- Sergio: I'm naked!
Out of the Picture (14.1)
- Lincoln and Clyde: Morticians Club! We're in!
- Lucy: No you're not. You guys are not part of this club.
- Haiku: Hold on, Lucy. We can always use some more bodies.
- Lincoln: [picks up what Lola dropped] Coach Pacowski: A Man With Many Secrets. What's this?
- Lola: That was in case the muffins didn't work. [takes it back] I'll just save this for the next time I wanna get out of Dodgeball.
Room with a Feud (14.2)
- Lincoln: So, guess what? I gave my sisters the compatibility test, they changed rooms, and it's working like a dream! You hear how quiet it is?
- Lynn: [off-screen] Dang it Lana!
- Lincoln: Uh, probably just a little glitch. I'll call you back.
- Lisa: Leni will be rooming with Lynn.
- Leni and Lynn: Wait, why are we together? That doesn't make any sense! We don't even have anything in common!
Back Out There (15.1)
- Clyde: I think I know what's going on here. [the boys duck into the shrub] Lincoln's got a classic case of PBB.
- Zach: Peanut Butter Breath?
- Clyde: No.
- Rusty: Pale Boy Bangs?
- Clyde: No.
- Liam: Polybrominated biphenyls?
- Clyde: No. Lincoln has PBB, or Post-Breakup Blues. The poor guy misses Ronnie Anne so much that he's coming here everyday to pine for her.
- Hattie: Ya done seen this picture before? Oooh! I loves the part where the alien becomes human!
- [the audience boos]
- Lincoln: Kinda a spoiler.
- Hattie: That ain't nuttin'; turns out da ol' thing's just a dream!
- [the audience complains about the spoiler]
Spell It Out (15.2)
- Rita: Lori, honey, I'm sure it's not the end of the world.
- [Lori with mascara-smudged tears shows her mom a voicemail]
- Female voice: What's with the silent treatment, Lori!? Do you think you're better than us?! Ugh! Whatever. Friendship? Over...
- Rita: No worries. You can always hang out with your old mom. You can join my book club. [Lori covers her face with her pillow]
- Lucy: [to Harriet's photo] Well, Great-Grandma Harriet, I guess this book of spells didn't work after all. [holds up a photo of her and her siblings] But that's okay. because I got a pretty magical result all the same. [she puts the photo of the Loud kids next to Harriet's. Just then, a lightning flash occurs, and the photo of Harriet mysteriously changes her expression from a frown to a smile]
Fool's Paradise (16.1)
- Leni: You guys go on without me! I'd rather be stuck up here than get pranked by Luan!
- [Of course, she had just been pranked, trapped on a sign with flypaper.]
- Luan: [up in the air in the poncho] Clap! Clap! Clap! Well done, family, you got me! You may have won this time, but next year, I'm gonna stop going easy on you and give you all an April Fool's you'll never forget, especially you, Dad! [laughing evilly]
- Lynn Sr: What have I done?!
[the rest of the family runs away screaming in terror]
Job Insecurity (16.2)
- Lincoln: Sir, please give our dad his job back. This was all a misunderstanding.
- Sergei: What is there to misunderstanding?! First I get the rudest call of my life, then I have no one to help with the breakfast rush, so my answer is nyet!
- Leni: Yay!
- Lisa: Nyet means "no".
- Leni: Aw!
- Everyone: all we do is is make your life harder dad
- Lynn Sr.: no you don't this is just a job a can get another one
- Sergei: I cant say nyet to a man with such a nice family you get your job back!
ARGGH! You for Real? (17.1)
- [the crowd cheers for Hunter Spector's success]
- Tall Burly Man: [cleaning his ear] What was that? I want to play Minecraft!
- [Clyde's dads leave Clyde's room and cheer]
- Harold: Oh, our son is back! [notices his husband making an elated face] Howie, don't make that face; it'll freeze that way.
Garage Banned (17.2)
- Lola: Ugh. I can't get this tangle out of my hair! What am I supposed to do?
- Lisa: Fear not, sibling! As it happens, I've been working on a new detangling formula. [sprays it in Lola's hair which cause it all to fall off and leave her bald]
- Lola: [frantic] My hair! What have you done?!
- Lisa: You should have specified that you wanted to keep it. On a related note, may I keep it?
- Lola: This never would have happened if Lori was here!
- Luan: Dang it, Luna! Your fog machine warped Mr. Coconuts' head! [shows her dummy's disfigured head]
- Luna: Can't prove it, dude!
- Luan: Lincoln, tell her she has to pay to get him fixed!
- Lincoln: Um...okay. Luna, I think Luan has a point. You should pay up.
- Luna: [threatens him] You wanna think again, brah?
- Lincoln: Yes, I do. Luan, I think you should accept that fog machines are a part of life.
- Luan: [as the facially disfigured Mr. Coconuts] I wouldn't be too hasty, Slick! My cousin's a baseball bat!
- Lincoln: [dismayed] I wish Lori was here. She always has the right solution.
Change of Heart (18.1)
- Leni: [as Lori] OMG! Bobby! Texting! Literally!
- [Clyde, acting like a robot, knocks over Mr. Grouse's trash cans]
- Mr. Grouse: Why you lousy-- Ooh. Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas... [end of episode]
Health Kicked (18.2)
- Lynn Sr.: You kids must be famished! It's grub time! [the kids suggest pizza, fries, and cheeseburgers]
- Lucy: Blood oranges.
- Lynn Sr.: No, I mean actual grubs. [shows a plate of such insects]
- non-Lana kids: Eww!
- Rita: Honey, I thought we agreed to take it easier.
- Lynn Sr.: But the Ice Cream Truck is getting away!
- Loud Family: Ah! [chasing the Ice Cream Truck] Ice Cream!
Future Tense (19.1)
- Beau: Will you guys take me to my gallery opening tonight?
- Jancey: Of course, Beau!
- Beau: Gomawoyo! [the Loud parents are confused]
- Jancey: He's in a Korean-English immersion program.
- [they drop Lola off at the community help center]
- Rita: Volunteering at a soup kitchen will look great on your résumé.
- Lola: [furious] You know what won't look great? Me in a hairnet!
- Lynn Sr.: Finishing School will teach you some valuable social graces.
- Lana: I've got social graces up the wazoo! [belches]
Lynner Takes All (19.2)
- Lynn: [slams her cards on the table] Boom! Welcome to Losertown! Population: you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you! [she says as she points to her siblings individually]
- [Lincoln and her non-Lynn sisters are riding in Vanzilla for some peace and quiet]
- Luna: Ah. This is sweet, right dudes? [the others agree]
- Luan: I really need a break from her.
- Lynn: [biking faster than Vanzilla] Come on, Lynn! Push it! Push it! Dig deep! Yeah! You lose! Eat my dust! [her siblings groan]
Yes Man (20.1)
- Leni: [screams with her eyes still crossed] Lori! I think my eyes are stuck.
- Lincoln: Wait a minute! You might be onto something. Everything I told you guys to do worked. Luna, can I borrow your guitar?
- Luna: You kiddin' me, dude? No way!
- Lincoln: [frustrated] Ahh! I can't convince anyone of anything!
- Luna: I'm just messin' with ya, bro. [hands him the guitar as he softly chuckles]
Friend or Faux? (20.2)
- Lisa: [sees Lynn Sr and Kotaro playing music] Observation #4: friendship requires common interests.
- Lynn Sr.: Man, we are so good!
- Lisa: Also, common delusions.
- Lisa: Oh! I see we have a common interest in the giraffa camelopardalis.
- Darcy: Oh, you mean Rafo. You have a stuffed giraffe, too?
- Lisa: No, but I have a giraffe cerebrum soaking in formaldehyde.
- Darcy: [giggles] You use funny words, Lisa.
No Laughing Matter (21.1)
- Luan: Hey, guys, do you know what happened to my hairbrush?
- Lori: I don't know, Luan. What did happen to your hairbrush?
- Luan: Oh, nevermind, there it is. [takes it and leaves off]
- Luna: [pops her head out of the shower] That was totally weird, dudes.
- Leni: I know. She didn't even do this. [flushes the toilet]
- Luna: Ow!
- Lincoln: [carrying Luan's props downstairs] Guys! I think I've got the answer!
- Lucy: No need. Lisa beat you to it.
- Lisa: I've calibrated my time machine to send us back two minutes before Luan overheard us criticizing her.
- Lincoln: That is pretty good.
- Lisa: Small disclaimer: the journey may result in our butts being in front.
- Lori: [to Lincoln] Lincoln, what's your plan?
- Lincoln: Well we can't convince Luan she's funny, right? But what if an audience can?
- Luna: How's that gonna happen, dude?
- Lincoln: Leave it to me. You just make sure she's at the Chortle Portal at 8:00. [leaves]
- Lana: [to Lisa] Can you still put my butt in front?
No Spoilers (21.2)
- Lisa: According to my algorithm, the people Mother encounters most are: her employer; our cantankerous neighbor; and the owner of our local convenience store.
- Lucy: Just because she encounters them doesn't mean she likes them.
- Lisa: Well, just because she uses toilet paper doesn't mean she'll find it a suitable party decoration!
- Lana: Ugh! I told you we should've just stuck with my brown balloons!
- Lynn: Yeah! Because everyone wants their party to look like Cliff's litter box!
- Luna: Why don't we just stick to my jams for the entertainment? [shouting while strumming her guitar]
- Lola: [unplugs the guitar] Um, Mom is going to hate that! It'll make her ears bleed!
- Luna: Right after her teeth fall out from eating your cake!
- Lori: From now on how would you like to be our official party planner?
- Leni: [claps excitedly] Yay! Thanks, you guys. You hear that, Dad? I'm planning your surprise party next! But don't worry. I'll send you an invitation. [everyone else facepalms]
- Stan: Lasagna, huh? We got on the show by winning five Buff Man competitions in a year.
- Lynn Sr.: Well, congratulations to you both.
- Steak: Yeah, get used to saying that, 'cuz we're gonna stomp your butts!
- Stan: Yeah. You ever see a hammerhead go after a guppy? The shark just gets in there, [roaring and chomping]!
- Steak: Just to be clear, you're the guppy.
- Lynn Sr.: What do you think those guys had for breakfast, Jerk Chicken?
- Lincoln: Zing! Good one, Dad! [they laugh]
Mall of Duty (22.2)
- Lincoln: [sees a bunch of kids looking at Lola who is sitting on a throne] Lola, playtime's over. We gotta go.
- Lola: That's no way to speak to your queen! Send him to the dungeon!
- Lincoln: [about to be attacked] Lola, wait! I just came to tell you, uh... there's another queen outside who says she's more powerful than you.
- Lola: What? Well, I'll have her head! [they charge out of the store and find nothing] There's no one here! You lied! Well played, sir.
- Lincoln: Let's move out.
- Lincoln: [finds some bones] Aha! I found another D: Diet!
- Lucy: Lincoln, that's not human food.
- Lincoln: It is if the human is:
- Lincoln, Lisa, Lucy, and Lola: [notices the pet shop nearby] Lana.
Read Aloud (23.1)
- Librarian Wetta: [sees Lisa's fake disguise] You look familiar!
- Lisa: Oh, uh, [fake Texan accent] No, ma'am. I'm brand new to these here parts.
- Librarian Wetta: Hmm...I swear I've seen you somewhere before. [sees the Loud family with a mountain of books to check out] Emilio, I'm gonna need backup.
- Librarian Wetta: Get back here!
- [the family looks out the window and notices that Lisa is running away from Librarian Wetta]
- Lisa: You'll never catch me Wetta!
- Librarian Wetta: You owe me $50,000!
Not a Loud (23.2)
- Clyde: Alan could open doors with his mind. Let's see what you've got.
- [Lincoln tries opening the door using mind powers, and after a few seconds, it does open]
- Lincoln and Clyde: It worked!
- Lana: [turns out she opened it] I'd give it a minute before going in there. Whew!
- Clyde: Well, scratch that. The next test is the ability to regenerate lost limbs. Do you have a stick you could bite on?
- Lincoln: Clyde, I think it's pretty obvious I'm not an alien.
- Lincoln: Some things still don't make sense. Luan said you decorated my room for a girl. It sure sounds like you were expecting one.
- Rita: We already had five girls. We were just using the baby stuff we had.
- Lincoln: What about the men in black suits and sunglasses that Luna told me about?
- Lynn Sr.: They were Secret Service.
- Lincoln: Lori said there was a scientist in gloves and a mask.
- Lynn Sr.: That was the First Lady. She got that stuff from the first aid kit in the car.
- Lincoln: Okay, but what about what Leni said: that was I carried by an eagle?
- Rita: You were wrapped in a blanket with the presidential seal on it.
Tricked! (Episode 24)
- Lincoln: As Winston Churchill once said, "Never, never, never give up". [Clyde looks at him all ecstatically] I felt bad, so while we were jogging in place, I glanced at the study guide.
- [Lincoln gives out candy. Lola and Lana come back in their salt and pepper shaker costumes]
- Lola and Lana: Trick or treat!
- Lincoln: Nice try. [the twins walk away]
- Lynn Loud, Sr.: [screams] I HATE HALLOWEEN!
The Crying Dame (25.1)
- Lola: Three nights of torture! I cannot lose any more beauty sleep!
- Leni: I was so tired last night, I fell asleep in the middle of cutting Lori's hair.
- Lori: What?! [looks at her reflection on a frying pan and discovers a huge bald spot on the back of her head] Aaagh!
- Lola: I finally got some beauty sleep. Oh yeah! I am back!
- Leni: I slept so well, I got up early and made Lori these extensions. Now I just need a stapler.
- Lori: [nervously grabs them] I'll take it from here!
- Lori: Uh, guys, is this all reminding you of anyone?
- Lincoln: [gasps] Holy moly! We literally turned Dad into us! [Leni screams]
- [Mr. Loud and Luna are jamming in the garage when he leans over to Mr. Grouse's window and sees him ordering socks online]
- Luna: [rings his bell in his ear] Oops, you did it again. No looking at devices, Dad. Not even Mr. Grouse's.
- Lynn Sr.: But he just got a really good deal on socks.
Snow Way Down (26.1)
- Lincoln: [out in the snowy hills] Pilot to co-pilot, we are ready for launch! [he and Clyde about to go down when Clyde's Dads appear at the base]
- Howard and Harold: Ah, ah!
- [the trees have mattresses tied to them]
- Howard: Good thing we found that clearance sale on mattresses.
- Harold: [wrapping Lincoln and Clyde up in bubble wrap] And on bubble wrap. Now we're good.
- Clyde: Guys! I'm here!
- Harold: Clyde! Did you call the ranger?
- Clyde: I did, but I got his voicemail!
- Howard: What?! Harold, our next vacation is Chicago, not the sticks!
Snow Way Out (26.2)
- Flip: [gets his burgers] Come to Flippy!
- Lana: No wrapper! No wrapper! No wrapper!
- Flip: Dang it! All losers!
- Flip: Hey, Blippity Fletchman! She may have fixed your car, but I'm the one who brought her here. How about a little something for me?
- Bobbie Fletcher: Coming right up, pal. [revs up her engine and speeds off, blasting some snow all over Flip]