The Loud House/Season 2
The Loud House (2016–present) is an American animated television series created by Chris Savino for Nickelodeon. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
11 Louds a Leapin' (Episode 1)
- Lori: I can't help it. The sound of the paper tearing, the smell of the tape, that moment when you stick the bow in your hair. [tackles Luan] Gimme that!
- Luan: You gotta kick this habit, Lori. We don't want a repeat of last year.
[flashback of the previous Christmas: Lori is caught unwrapping the presents]
- Lori: Ha-ha, you guys got some great stuff!
- Lincoln: Merry Christmas, Mr. Grouse.
- Lana: We all chipped in and got you something.
- [Lincoln gives him the present and Mr. Grouse opens it]
- Lynn: It's a bus ticket.
- Luan: So you can go see your family for Christmas tomorrow.
- Rita: And since you can't be with them tonight, [she and Lynn Sr. finally reveal their faces] we're bringing our family to you.
- Lynn Sr.: How 'bout it, neighbor?
Intern for the Worse (2.1)
- Flip: [cleaning a car windshield] See, boys? Across and down! That's the technique. [hands the cleaning brush to Lincoln.] Now it's my guest.:' Lincoln : But we're out of car washers; should I go in the dealer and get some?
- Flip: You kidding' me, that stuff costs $9 a gallon! Here. [wipes his eyebrows with the brush and squeezes the sweat into the bucket]
- Mick: Yeah, yeah. Can you hold my dog, Luna? I gotta take a wicked dump!
- Luna: No, Mick. You cannot go number two until we are number one.
- [Mick's stomach gurgles]
The Bold and the Restless (2.2)
- [Scoots glugging from the pudding dispenser]
- Sue: [blows whistle] I expressly said no donuts!
- Scoots: You'll never catch me, maggot!
- Lincoln: [rushes to a tree] Pop-Pop!
- Pop-Pop: [fart] Whoops! Guess I had too much chili. Sorry, kiddo. I think I overdid it a little today.
- Lincoln: That's okay, Pop-Pop. If we hurry, we can still get you back in time. Hold on. [proceeds to get him down]
Baby Steps (3.1)
- Clyde: Wow. You didn't even need a cookie.
- Lily: Cookie?
- Lincoln: [gives Lily one] Sometimes it's safer to spell.
- Lincoln: [seeing Clyde runs away from his younger sisters] Clyde! What happened?
- Clyde: [opens the door only to run into Lori] L-L-Lori? [gets a nosebleed and passes out]
- Lori: Whatever.
- Tuba: [grabs Lori by the neck] NO!! Just stop!
Mall in the Family (3.2)
- Luna: Lori had the dress first! She told me the whole story last night!
- Luan: Well, Leni told me her side, and she clearly had the dress first!
- Luna: Ha! That's funnier than most of your lame jokes!
- Luan: Oh, I'm sorry I couldn't hear you! I've gone partially deaf from your horrible guitar playing!
- Kevin the Purple Cube: I'm gonna grab you stupid brunettes by the shirts and spin you both around til I throw you both out!
- [Kevin grabs Luna and Luan by the shirts and spins them around then throws them out the house]
- Lincoln: Next time when Lynn says she needs a car tire when Lisa talks, or Lana says Lola snores like Grand-Grand, I am staying out of it.
- Lisa: You said what now, Loud?! [spitting on her due to her lisp]
- Lola: Oh, I snore, do I? How can you hear me over all your sleepfarting?!
Suite and Sour (4.1)
- Lola: We will not be fine! [picks up and looks at the spa pamphlet.] Look at this place, you guys! It's got a spa, eight different pools, and a business center! We are missing out on all of it!!!
- Lynn: Yeah, and while Mom and Dad are living it up, we'll be sucking in cat hair at Aunt Ruth's!
- Luan: [touches her nose] Ooh, I call dibs on not clipping her toenails!
- [Everyone does the same, but Lincoln is the last to touch his nose.]
- Lincoln: [realizing he forgot] Dang it!
- Lori: We're just gonna have to convince Mom and Dad to take us with them.
- Lincoln: I know just the thing.
- Lynn Sr.: [enraged] Ghost hunting?! Elevator breaking?! Pool wrecking?! What happened to "You won't even know we're here?!"
- Rita: [angrily] You're all grounded to the room for the rest of the weekend. Your father and I would like to try to enjoy some relaxation time!
Back in Black (4.2)
- Lori: Lola! Did you take my Red Riot lipstick again?!
- Lola: No, but someone took my perfume; I bet it was Leni!
- Leni: Was not, but I'd like to know who took my pink chiffon dress, Lori! [she, Lori, , and Lola argue]
- Lola: Hang on, I smell my perfume! [to Lynn and Lucy's room] Lynn? Ya better not be using my perfume to cover the stink of your hockey pads!
- [Lincoln and Rocky are fixing the Solar System project]
- Rusty: So, the dog did this?!
- Lincoln: Uh, yup, Bad Charles! [Charles whimpers and drags his butt across the carpet in frustration]
Making the Grade (5.1)
- Lincoln: Lisa, I think you're officially part of the gang.
- Assistant: McBride, Principal Huggins will see you next.
- Clyde: He doesn't scare me. [steps in confidently, but then begins pleading sorrowfully] I'm so sorry! Please don't put this on my record!
- Lisa: What about the gang and being part of it?
- Lincoln: I'd rather be the one to suffer than a classroom full of kids with strep throat. Man, I can't have that on my conscience.
- Lisa: Okay. But if I go back to being smart Lisa, you're getting the whole package, i.e., unabashed superiority and zero tolerance for ignoramuses. It'll probably be back to the sticky table for you.
- Lincoln: That's a chance I'm willing to take.
- Lisa: You're a good man, Lincoln Loud. As Socrates once quipped-- [gets squirted again] Yak! Ah, to heck with this thing! [takes the collar off and tosses it aside]
Vantastic Voyage (5.2)
- Lana: "Lola and I have been working on a new song. It's called "Happiness is a New Van"."
- Lincoln: [whispers to them and pouts] Can it. He already said yes.
- Lola: [ignoring him] "We've been practicing for four hours! [punishes him] SIT DOWN! [Lincoln, feeling scared, complies. The twins dance to a beat while Lincoln gets sit down as punishment for asking her a question.] And a one, a two, a one, two, three, four! [Scene ends before the song starts]
- Lucy: Hey, Dad, we made Piz-zilla. Pizza shaped like Vanzilla.
- Lynn: Brings back some memories, doesn't it?
- Lynn Sr.: [is about to eat his pizza when the toppings fall off] It sure does. Everything's fallen off it just like Vanzilla. [chuckles] Glad that heap's gone.
- [Lynn Sr and Rita are heading home in Vanzilla]
- Rita: Thanks for giving up Veronica, dear. I know it was a big sacrifice.
- Lynn Sr.: Pttf! Veronica who? [he and Rita laugh] I'm just glad we can all be together in Vanzilla again.
- Lincoln: [offscreen] We are too, [camera cuts to reveal that Sienna is once again being pushed by the siblings, except for Lola who is still practicing her pageant waves] even if we're not actually in Vanzilla!
Patching Things Up (6.1)
- Scout Leader: Now for the Primitive Survival patch; to earn it you must dig a bag!
- Lola: That sounds French- a bag: what is it?
- Lana: It's a hole ya look in!
- [Lola screams in horror so loud birds are scared away]
- Lana: [belches] (eating a sandwich) You know. sometimes you just gotta step out of your comfort zone.
- Lola: I'm already out of my comfort zone! I am eating without a tablecloth!
- Scout Leader: Bluebell scouts are prepared for any kind of weather. So I'll give you a forecast (opens up a trunk of different outfits while Lola is in happy shock) and you'll have to put on a proper attire.
Cheater by the Dozen (6.2)
- Pam: Why don't you slip out of those clothes, and we'll get started.
- [Bobby starts to take off his clothes and the boys gasp at that]
- Clyde: [covering his eyes] I'm not allowed to watch R-rated movies!
- Lisa: I rigged audio surveillance, but a vicious beast prevented me from installing visuals. [Flashback: Lisa runs away from said vicious beast] Ah, large wild animal! [said beast turns out to be a small cat]
- Giovanni: Ahem! [not happy from hearing about what happened to his meal] I hate to break up this lovefest, but how do you intend to pay for my linguini dim sum?
- [Later, Lori and Bobby are dancing together. Lincoln and Clyde are seen working in the kitchen to pay off the mess as punishment for ruining his meal, with Giovanni outside the kitchen instructing orders.]
- Giovanni: Hurry up with those kung pao anchovies!
- Clyde: Well, at least all that working out won't go to waste.
- [He struggles to open a jar of anchovies and Lincoln takes it and opens it himself, showing Clyde was turning the lid the wrong way.]
- Lincoln: [sympathizing] You loosened it.
- [The jar opens up and some stinky yucky anchovies appear.]
- Lincoln and Clyde: [grossed out] UGH!!!
Lock 'n' Loud (7.1)
- Mr. Grouse: [off-screen] Help! Help! I've been robbed! [the Loud kids rush in]
- Lincoln: Mr. Grouse, what happened?
- Mr. Grouse: They cleaned me out! My polka records! My black and white TV! My encyclopedias! All gone! [runs back inside]
- Lori: I literally don't know what any of those things are.
- Mr. Grouse: [his swollen face above the window] Hey, Loud, these muffins got walnuts in 'em! Next time ya want to pay me off for pretending to be robbed, how about giving me something I'm not allergic to?
- Lincoln: Pretending to be robbed?!
- [The Loud kids and Rita angrily scold Lynn Sr. for lying]
- Lynn Sr.: [sighs] I'm sorry, everyone. I was trying to teach to lock the dang door. I just want to protect my most important valuables: you guys.
- Loud kids and Rita: [they all hug Lynn Sr.]
The Whole Picture (7.2)
- Lincoln: Dad! Do we have the cloud?
- Lynn Sr.: Well, of course we do, Lincoln. [Lincoln sighs with relief] We also have the sky and the sun and the moon...
- Lincoln: No, I mean the digital cloud, where you store stuff from your computer.
- Lynn Sr.: Oh, that cloud! No.
- Rusty: [dressed as Lucy] Wassup, playas? Lucy Loud is in da house!
- Clyde: [dressed as Luan] Rusty, a little acting tip: Lucy would never say that.
- Rusty: You just worry about your Lola.
- Clyde: [annoyed] I'm Luan! Did you at all prepare for this?!
- [Soon, Lincoln and Clyde are passed out on the ground from all those photos they took and the sisters arrive back home from the mall.]
- Sisters: "LINCOLN?!"
- Lori: "What are you doing with all our stuff?"
- Lola: [notices and gasps] "That tiara is never supposed to touch the ground!"
- [Lincoln has uploaded a photo of his sisters hugging him to the cloud.]
- Lincoln: Perfect start to the new Lincoln Library: now with cloud backup.
- Lori: [off-screen with anger] WHO USED ALL MY LIPSTICK?!
- [Clyde smiles guiltily.]
No Such Luck (8.1)
- Lincoln: [dancing] Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky! Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky!
- [The Louds congratulate Lynn for her victory, and Lincoln joins them dressed in a squirrel costume.]
- Lola: Um, do you mind, Fur Ball? This is a family moment.
- Lincoln: Guys, it's me! [takes the mask off] I was here the whole time! This proves it: I'm not bad luck!
- Lynn: Oh my gosh, you're right. Wow, Lincoln, I'm really sorry.
- [The rest of the family apologizes to Lincoln for hurting his feelings.]
- Rita: Sorry we sold all your furniture.
- Lincoln: Wait, what?!
Frog Wild (8.2)
- [Lincoln and Lana try to yank the lock open with a key]
- Lana: We have a problem. It's a surface mounted deadbolt with a tumbler locking mechanism.
- Lincoln: In English, please?
- Lana: We'll have to find another way in.
- Mrs. Johnson: Come on, people, I'm giving you comedy gold here!
- [predators start targeting the lab frogs]
- Lincoln: Do you wanna be today's lunch special? Move! [the frogs won't move] Why aren't they moving?!
- Lana: Maybe they don't know how to survive in the wild!
Kick the Bucket List (9.1)
- Lincoln: So, what'd ya cut?
- Clyde: [chuckles nervously] Um...nothing. I actually added an activity.
- Lincoln: Well, you did better than me. I added two.
- [They laugh]
- Lincoln: This is gonna be the most awesome and rad day ever!
- Rita: Just make sure you're home before the streetlights come on; tomorrow's a school day.
- Lincoln: No problem, Mom.
- Clyde: [checks his watch] Hmm...that gives us eight hours. Think we'll be able to get all this done?
- Lincoln: [determined] Clyde, we have to! Though we'll need to do more stretching.
- [They crouch and sprain something]
- Lincoln and Clyde: OW!
- Lincoln: One's good.
- [They waddle away to start their list.]
- Clyde: [gives a girl a Pizza Box with Lincoln's face] Hey, here you go. I know what it's like to need a friend. "Nice to meet ya!" [leaves the box with the girl, who is confused]
Party Down (9.2)
- [Lisa and Lily are drinking from the chocolate fountain]
- Lisa: Oh, mama! This theobroma cacao, street name: chocolate, is working wonders on my serotonin levels!
- Lily: [pouring some into her bottle] Goo-goo!
- Lori: [rips Lincoln's mustache off his face] Lincoln! I told you, you're not invited!
- Lincoln: But my tricks are killing!
- Lori: I'm trying to throw a sophisticated party, and you're literally waving around your underwear! Now…SCRAM!
- Leni: I am totally posting this. [posts a photo of Lori with chocolate; Lori's friends get the post and smile; Later, a doorbell rings, and Lori answers it]
- Becky: Yeah, my mom's toe, it's all better.
Fed Up (10.1)
- Lynn Sr.: Guys? Everything okay in there?
- [the kids stop fighting]
- Leni: Like, awesome!
- Lana: Super!
- Lynn Sr.: Good! Your mom and I are getting hungry for dinner! Hope you're almost ready to fork it over!
Shell Shock (10.2)
- Clyde: So what should we call her? Any family names you'd like to honor?
- Penelope: I was thinking we could combine our names. Clyde and Penelope make...
- Clyde: Calliope!
- Penelope: [gasps] Perfect!
- Bobby: [in lifeguard outfit] Off to save some lives!
- Ronnie Anne: [with his pizza boy shirt] Bobby! The pool closed in September! You're delivering pizzas tonight! [goes after him]
- Ronnie Anne: [suspicious on seeing Rochelle/Toby in the box nest] Wait. What's this? Lincoln, what's going on here?
- Lincoln: I can explain. See, I gave you a fake egg.
- Ronnie Anne: Why would you do that?
- Lincoln: Because you're, well, Ronnie Anne.
- Ronnie Anne: What's that supposed to mean?
- Lincoln: Well, I thought you couldn't be trusted with the real one because, you're not exactly the most careful and nurturing type, but-
- Ronnie Anne: [shocked and stomps her foot on the ground, angrily interrupting] So that's what you think of me?! That I'm such a monster I can't be left alone with an egg?! [stomps her foot again]
- Lincoln: [backs up nervously to the table] No, no, no. When I saw you with your family, I realized I totally had you all wrong, and- [hits the table with his head] Oof!
- [The crash causes Rochelle/Toby to fly up into the air and shatter on the floor, ruining their project]
- Ronnie Anne: I guess none of that matters anymore. [annoyed] Thanks a lot, Lincoln. Now we're gonna fail!
- Lincoln: Ronnie Anne, I-
- Ronnie Anne: Just get out of my house!
- Penelope: I know he's your best friend, Clyde. But I don't want him to be Calliope's godfather.
- Ronnie Anne: [answers the door and spots a basket with a note attached to it on the doorstep; reads the note] "Please take care of me. Signed, Toby Rochelle II." [spots Lincoln hiding in the bush and drops the note in the basket] I know you're there, weirdo.
- Lincoln: [pops out nervously] Oh, uh…hi.
- Ronnie Anne: What's with the egg? We're done. We failed.
- Lincoln: Well, after I left your house yesterday, I went to talk to Mrs. Johnson. [Flashback to yesterday, talking to Mrs. Johnson about what happened] So, it was my fault the egg broke. I thought I knew who Ronnie Anne was, but it turns out, I didn't know anything about her. She's really responsible and caring, and she deserves a second chance. [drops his head in sorrow]
- Mrs. Johnson: [thinks for a second] All right, Lincoln. I'll give her another shot.
- Lincoln: [relieved] That's awesome! Thanks, Mrs. Johnson.
- Mrs. Johnson: And you, too.
- Lincoln: [surprised] Really?
- Mrs. Johnson: I think you just figured out what this assignment is all about.
- [Flashback ends]
- Lincoln: She didn't let me off the hook completely. I don't get the waffle breakfast, but that's okay. Because all I care about now is putting our family back together.
- Ronnie Anne: [touched] Thanks, Lincoln. I appreciate it. [nudges him]
- Lincoln: Ow!
- Ronnie Anne: But don't get too mushy on me.
Pulp Friction (11.1)
- [Scoots blocks Vanzilla's path]
- Lola: Move it, lady!
- Scoots: [sarcastically] Oh, am I going too slow for you? [sets her scooter in slow reverse.]
- [Scoots' evil grinning as she delays the kids and move backward even more to prevent them from reaching Principal Huggins].
- Lola: Hey, what did you think of the Queen of Diamonds? Wasn't she your favorite part? Here! Let me show you some of my ideas for an action figure and a bed sheet set.
- Bill: [seeing the kids gathering to talk to him about the comic] Whoa! This is kind of a... full house!
Pets Peeved (11.2)
- [Back at the Loud House, the kids are worried about their missing pets. Lana's holding up a poster she made.]
- Lincoln: [hanging up; downtrodden] Well, Clyde hasn't seen them.
- Lori: Neither has Bobby. Come on. We have to go look for them! Everyone, bring your posters!
- Lana: [sniffs, forlorn, heartbroken] I don't know what I'm gonna do if we don't find them! [cries and hugs Luna for comfort.]
- Lisa: [on the verge of tears and sadness] Whilst I normally view animals as mere test subjects, those little guys are family! [starts crying]
- [The kids all start crying and feel guilty for not getting their four pets' attention, except for Lana and Charles barks to them.]
- Lincoln: Sometimes, I can still hear them.
- [The kids go back to crying, except for Lana and Charles barks to them again.]
- Lincoln: [stops crying with his sisters and realizes...] Wait!
- [The kids happily turn around and see their pets and the little dog back home and cheer for their return and grab their pets with lots of love and apologizing them for not getting their attention while the little dog is ignored.]
- Lana: [to the dog] You, too, new puppy! Get in here! You're part of our family, too.
- [The puppy comes to join four pets into their arms.]
- Loud Kids: YOU'RE AN OFFICIAL LOUD!!
- [The doorbell then rings. Lincoln answers it and it's a little girl at the door.]
- Clare: Hi. My name's Clare. I'm looking for my dog. He slipped out of his collar, and- [notices] Watterson! [walks up to the little puppy.] There you are! [Lana gives Watterson to her.] I've missed you. Oh, how I've missed you. [to the Loud sisters] He's my best friend in the whole wide world. Thank you for taking care of him.
- Lori: It was literally our pleasure.
- Luna: [upset] Aw. Looks like you're going home, little dude. [kisses his butt]
- Lana: Uh, Luna, that's his butt. [Luna stops kissing it] Bye, Watterson. [turns him around] I'm sorry you won't be a Loud, but I'm glad your friend found you. [tearfully hugs him]
- Clare: Come on, Watterson. Time to get you home. [prepares to leave]
- Loud Sisters: Bye!
- Luna: We'll miss you!
- Leni: Love you!
- [The pets are sad that Watterson is leaving, but he hops out of Clare's arms and gives them each a friendly lick goodbye with Geo's lick rolling his ball away.]
- Clare: Come on, Watterson! Come on, boy!
- [Watterson goes to Clare and the two of them leave.]
- Lincoln: [to the pets] We're so glad you're home. How about we all go to the kitchen for a nice big treat?
- [The pets sprint to the kitchen where Lincoln gives them each a treat for them as an apology for what happened earlier.]
- Lisa: [off-screen] DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY MY SLIDE PROJECTOR WAS IN CHARLES' DOGHOUSE?!
- [The pets worriedly look at each other over that little detail they forgot as the episode irises out on all four of them.]
Potty Mouth (12.1)
- Lori: Ew. Well, someone's gonna have to change her.
- Leni: [plugs her nose] "DIBS, NOT IT!
- Other Sisters: [touch their noses] "DIBS, NOT IT!"
- Lincoln: [touches his nose and realizes he was last once again] Dang it! I always lose that! [walks over to Lisa and grabs her] Sorry, Dr. S. I'll take care of it. Aren't you a little cutie-wutie? Did Lily-Wily make a poo-poo in her diapey-diapey? [now angry] Lisa, what the heck, man?
- Lisa: I was instructed to act like a one-year-old. Ergo, I did. There's just no pleasing you people.
- Luan: It turns out, we had nothin' to worry about. We're not such a bad influence on Lily after all!
- [everyone cheers before Charles steals Lily's doughnut]
- Lily: [bleep]!
- [everyone gasps in sheer shock]
L is for Love (12.2)
- [At the cemetery at night, the boy Lucy met is sitting on the stone wall]
- Silas: Sigh
- [Lucy suddenly appears right next to him and he slips and falls upon her appearance]
- Lucy: Ah, the futility of life. Am I right, Silas?
- [Silas groans in pain. Cut to the mall where Chaz is putting mannequins in the display window. Leni is acting like a mannequin till Chaz comes to put her on display]
- Leni: Hi.
- [Chaz flails and crashes into the mannequins. Leni winks at him. Switch to Ms. Shrinivas's classroom where all the kids are taking their naps. A shadow looms over the boy Lisa likes, and it happens to be Lisa]
- Lisa: Based upon the fluttering of your gorgeous eyelids, you must have had quite a REM cycle.
- [The boy falls out of his cot in a fright and Lisa winks at him. At Lynn's next game, she throws the ball at the boy she likes who is batting right into his arm and winks at him. At the arcade, the girl Lincoln likes is playing Dance Battle]
- Lincoln: Nice moves, Paige! [couldn't hear him and still got distracted with the arcade game] I said, nice move-
- [Paige accidentally kicks him, hears him crash, shrugs it off, and keeps playing. Meanwhile, in Lily's room, Lily crawls up to her teddy bear, winks at and hugs it.]
- Lola: [Wearing a big brunette wig] Me three!
- Lana: [Taking off her twin's wig] Nice try, blonde
The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos (Episode 13)
- [Hector and Bobby run away from the cats]
- Bobby: So, the gang has cats?
- Hector: The gang is cats!
- [Ronnie Anne goes to sleep in the bathtub, but spots Sergio the parrot inside]
- Sergio: I'm naked!
- Lincoln: I still don't get why I have to come along.
- Lori: [rioting] BECAUSE RONNIE ANNE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!
- Lincoln: She is NOT my girlfriend!
- Lori: Lincoln, we are literally crossing a bridge! Do you really want to get into an argument with me RIGHT NOW?!?
- Ronnie Anne: What do you mean you didn't convince him?
- Lori: He talked about the bodega for 40 minutes until the beef jerky guy showed up and at that point I had literally reached my limit.
- Ronnie Anne: [sighs and thinks] We need to do something to get Bobby's attention.
- Lincoln: [while being dragged by Lori] We're leaving? But Mrs. Casagrande's baking a cake!
- Lori: [heartbroken] Lincoln, I literally just lost my boyfriend!
- Lori: [angrily] Do you really wanna argue with me right now?!
- Bobby: [appearing] Babe, where are you going?
- Lori: [furious] What do you care?! Why don't you just go back to your precious bodega?! YOU OBVIOUSLY CARE ABOUT IT MORE THAN YOU CARE ME! [starts sobbing]
- Lincoln: I'm just gonna go help Mrs. Casagrande with the frosting. [chuckles and rushes back inside the apartment]
- Ronnie Anne: Lincoln, what's happening out there?
- Lincoln: I don't know. But it was too much drama for me.
- Ronnie Anne: Wait a minute. They're hugging, and Lori's smiling. She must have finally convinced him! Yes! [runs over to Lori and hugs her, moments later] Thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew we could do this. I'll go pack up my stuff.
- Lori: Uh, actually…
- Ronnie Anne: What?
- Lori: I know I came here to convince Bobby not to move, but after talking to him, I think he should stay.
- Ronnie Anne: Well, that's great for you guys, but what about me?! Lincoln, come on! Help me out here!
- Lincoln: I don't know, Ronnie Anne. I think your family's pretty awesome. I mean, who can make a cake like this?
Out of the Picture (14.1)
- Lincoln and Clyde: Morticians Club! We're in!
- Lucy: No you're not. You guys are not part of this club.
- Haiku: Hold on, Lucy. We can always use some more bodies.
- Lincoln: [picks up what Lola dropped] Coach Pacowski: A Man With Many Secrets. What's this?
- Lola: That was in case the muffins didn't work. [takes it back] I'll just save this for the next time I wanna get out of Dodgeball.
Room with a Feud (14.2)
- Lincoln: So, guess what? I gave my sisters the compatibility test, they changed rooms, and it's working like a dream! You hear how quiet it is?
- Lynn: [off-screen] Dang it Lana!
- Lincoln: Uh, probably just a little glitch. I'll call you back.
- Lisa: Leni will be rooming with Lynn.
- Leni and Lynn: Wait, why are we together? That doesn't make any sense! We don't even have anything in common!
Back Out There (15.1)
- [The boys see Lincoln sitting on his bike, in front of the Santiago's old residence through binoculars behind the shrub]
- Rusty: Ronnie Anne's old house? This is where he's been coming every day?
- Zach: Doesn't he know she moved?
- Clyde: I think I know what's going on here. [the boys duck into the shrub] Lincoln's got a classic case of PBB.
- Zach: Peanut Butter Breath?
- Clyde: No.
- Rusty: Pale Boy Bangs?
- Clyde: No.
- Liam: Polybrominated biphenyls?
- Clyde: No. Lincoln has PBB, or Post-Breakup Blues. The poor guy misses Ronnie Anne so much that he's coming here everyday to pine for her.
- Hattie: Ya done seen this picture before? Oooh! I loves the part where the alien becomes human!
- [the audience boos]
- Lincoln: Kinda a spoiler.
- Hattie: That ain't nuttin'; turns out da ol' thing's just a dream!
- [the audience complains about the spoiler]
- Clyde: [picks up Lincoln's phone as it vibrates] Huh. Lincoln must've dropped his phone. [sees who's calling] Ronnie Anne?! Ugh! Unbelievable! She's still tormenting him? I'll handle this. [answers the call] Hello, Ronnie Anne. This is Clyde, Lincoln's best friend.
- Ronnie Anne: I know who you are, Clyde. Where's Lincoln?
- Clyde: You need to leave him alone!
- Rusty: Yeah! He needs space to get over you!
- Ronnie Anne: Get over me?
- Zach: Yeah, since you left, the poor guy's just been standing in front of your old house every day.
- Ronnie Anne: Yeah! Because I asked him to look out for a package that was sent to me there.
- Clyde: How's that now? [in unison with Liam, Rusty, and Zach] Uh-oh.
- Rusty, Liam, and Zach: [in unison with Clyde] Uh-oh.
- Ronnie Anne: Did you guys do something stupid again?
- Clyde: We have to stop that bus!
- Rusty: Snake formation! It'll cut down wind resistance!
Spell It Out (15.2)
- Rita: Lori, honey, I'm sure it's not the end of the world.
- [Lori with mascara-smudged tears shows her mom a voicemail]
- Female voice: What's with the silent treatment, Lori!? Do you think you're better than us?! Ugh! Whatever. Friendship? Over...
- Rita: No worries. You can always hang out with your old mom. You can join my book club. [Lori covers her face with her pillow]
- Lucy: [to Harriet's photo] Well, Great-Grandma Harriet, I guess this book of spells didn't work after all. [holds up a photo of her and her siblings] But that's okay. because I got a pretty magical result all the same. [she puts the photo of the Loud kids next to Harriet's. Just then, a lightning flash occurs, and the photo of Harriet mysteriously changes her expression from a frown to a smile]
Fool's Paradise (16.1)
- Family: [touching their noses] DIBS NOT!
- [Leni realizes she put her finger in her ear instead of on her nose.]
- Leni: Dang it! I always do it wrong.
- [She opens the door and gets knocked back by an instantly inflating clown prop that sends her flying into the sign now with flypaper, trapping her on it, where she sees neon lights that form Luan laughing at her as her family gasps.]
- Leni: You guys go on without me! I'd rather be stuck up here than get pranked by Luan!
- [Of course, she had just been tricked, trapped on a sign. flypaper.]
- Luan: [up in the air in the poncho] Clap! Clap! Clap! Well done, family, you got me! You may have won this time, but next year, I'm gonna stop going easy on you and give you all an April Fool's you'll never forget, especially you, Dad! [laughs evilly]
- Lynn Sr: [horrified] WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
- [The rest of the family runs away screaming in terror as Luan keeps laughing.]
Job Insecurity (16.2)
- Lincoln: Sir, please give our dad his job back! This was all a misunderstanding!
- Sergei: [mad] What is there to misunderstanding?! First I get the rudest call of my life, then I have no one to help with the breakfast rush! So my answer is nyet!
- Leni: [claps] Yay!
- Red Hemka: [punches Leni's face] Hey, knock it off! I'm starving!
- Lisa: Nyet means "no".
- Leni: [downtrodden] Aw!
- Red Hemka: [lividly grabs Leni by the dress, about to force her on the ground] I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
- Mr. Grumpy: [to Red Hemka] Save your energy!
- Lynn: Please don't punish our dad. This was our fault.
- Lori: Yeah. We're always messing up.
- Lincoln: All we do is make his life worse.
- Lynn Sr.: Whoa, whoa, kids, what are you talking about? You make my life better every day. This is just a job. Don't worry. I can find another one.
- [The kids smile and hug their dad. Sergei, touched, gets tears in his eyes.]
- Sergei: I can't say nyet to a man with such a nice family. You get your job back!
ARGGH! You for Real? (17.1)
- [the crowd cheers for Hunter Spector's success]
- Tall Burly Man: [cleaning his ear] What was that? I want to play Minecraft!
- [Clyde's dads leave Clyde's room and cheer]
- Harold: Oh, our son is back! [notices his husband making an elated face] Howie, don't make that face; it'll freeze that way.
Garage Banned (17.2)
- Luan: Dang it, Luna! Your fog machine warped Mr. Coconuts' head! [shows her dummy's disfigured head]
- Luna: Can't prove it, dude!
- Luan: Lincoln, tell her she has to pay to get him fixed!
- Lincoln: Um...okay. Luna, I think Luan has a point. You should pay up.
- Luna: [threatens him] You wanna think again, brah?
- Lincoln: Yes, I do. Luan, I think you should accept that fog machines are a part of life.
- Luan: [as the facially disfigured Mr. Coconuts] I wouldn't be too hasty, Slick! My cousin's a baseball bat!
- Lincoln: [dismayed] I wish Lori was here. She always has the right solution.
Change of Heart (18.1)
- Leni: [as Lori] OMG! Bobby! Texting! Literally!
- [Clyde, acting like a robot, knocks over Mr. Grouse's trash cans]
- Mr. Grouse: Why you lousy-- Ooh. Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas... [end of episode]
Health Kicked (18.2)
- Lynn Sr.: You kids must be famished! It's grub time! [the kids suggest pizza, fries, and cheeseburgers]
- Lucy: Blood oranges.
- Lynn Sr.: No, I mean actual grubs. [shows a plate of such insects]
- non-Lana kids: Eww!
- Lana: Ooh!
- Rita: Honey, I thought we agreed to take it easier.
- Lynn Sr.: But the Ice Cream Truck is getting away!
- Loud Family: Ah! [chasing the Ice Cream Truck] Ice Cream!
Future Tense (19.1)
- Beau: Will you guys take me to my gallery opening tonight?
- Jancey: Of course, Beau!
- Beau: Gomawoyo! [the Loud parents are confused]
- Jancey: He's in a Korean-English immersion program.
- [Lola is dropped off at a soup kitchen.]
- Rita: Volunteering at a soup kitchen will look great on your résumé.
- Lola: [furious] You know what won't look great? Me in a hairnet!
- [Lana is dropped off at Finishing School.]
- Lynn Sr.: Finishing School will teach you some valuable social graces.
- Lana: I've got social graces up the wazoo! [belches]
- Lincoln: [nervous] Where am I going, the police station? Military school?
- Lynn Sr.: Nope, you're going home, to read comics.
- Lincoln: [delighted] I knew I was your favorite!
Lynner Takes All (19.2)
- Lynn: [slams her cards on the table] Boom! Welcome to Losertown! Population: you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you! [she says as she points to her siblings individually]
- [Lincoln and her non-Lynn sisters are riding in Vanzilla for some peace and quiet]
- Luna: Ah. This is sweet, right dudes? [the others agree]
- Luan: I really need a break from her.
- Lynn: [biking faster than Vanzilla] Come on, Lynn! Push it! Push it! Dig deep! Yeah! You lose! Eat my dust! [her siblings groan]
Yes Man (20.1)
- Leni: [screams with her eyes still crossed] Lori! I think my eyes are stuck.
- Lincoln: Wait a minute! You might be onto something. Everything I told you guys to do worked. Luna, can I borrow your guitar?
- Luna: You kiddin' me, dude? No way!
- Lincoln: [frustrated] Ahh! I can't convince anyone of anything!
- Luna: I'm just messin' with ya, bro. [hands him the guitar as he softly chuckles]
- Rita: "Lincoln, it doesn't matter how you ask us, the answer is no."
- Lynn Sr.: "We'd love to get you the ticket, but we're out of money. We gave it all to your sisters."
- Rita: "Maybe if you'd asked us earlier in the day."
- [Lincoln was heartbroken and his turkey tail droops. His sisters feel guilty and realize what they have done to their brother.]
Friend or Faux? (20.2)
- Lisa: [sees Lynn Sr. and Kotaro playing music] Observation #4: friendship requires common interests.
- Lynn Sr.: Man, we are so good!
- Lisa: Also, common delusions.
- Lisa: Oh! I see we have a common interest in the giraffa camelopardalis.
- Darcy: Oh, you mean Rafo. You have a stuffed giraffe, too?
- Lisa: No, but I have a giraffe cerebrum soaking in formaldehyde.
- Darcy: [giggles] You use funny words, Lisa.
No Laughing Matter (21.1)
- [Lynn is drinking a protein shake which Luan notices.]
- Luan: That looks gross.
- Lynn: [spits in her face and laughs] Oh, my gosh, Luan! Zing! Ha ha!
- [Luan looks annoyed. In the living room, Lincoln is drinking some water and watching TV. Luan joins him.]
- Luan: Hey, what are you watching?
- Lincoln: [spits in her face and laughs] Oh, my gosh, Luan! Oh, wow. You are hilarious!
- [Luan is annoyed again. In the bathroom, Luna is brushing her teeth when Luan enters.]
- Luan: Are you gonna be done in here soon?
- Luna: [spits her toothpaste in her face and laughs] Dude! Done in here soon! Too much, man!
- [Luan, angry, wipes the toothpaste from her face and walks out of the bathroom.]
- Luan: Alright! Everyone out here, now!
- [Her siblings gather with big phony smiles on their faces.]
- Luan: I see what you guys are doing, and it's not going to work. I'm done with comedy.
- Leni: [spits her soda on Luan] Done with comedy! Ha! Classic Luan!
- Luan: Leni, knock it off!
- Leni: [jubilant] Who's there?
- Lincoln: [carrying Luan's props downstairs] Guys! I think I've got the answer!
- Lucy: No need. Lisa beat you to it.
- Lisa: I've calibrated my time machine to send us back two minutes before Luan overheard us criticizing her.
- Lincoln: That is pretty good.
- Lisa: Small disclaimer: the journey may result in our butts being in front.
- Lori: [to Lincoln] Lincoln, what's your plan?
- Lincoln: Well, we can't convince Luan she's funny, right? But what if an audience can?
- Luna: How's that gonna happen, dude?
- Lincoln: Leave it to me. You just make sure she's at the Chortle Portal at 8:00. [leaves]
- Lana: [to Lisa] Can you still put my butt in front?
No Spoilers (21.2)
- Lori: From now on how would you like to be our official party planner?
- Leni: [claps excitedly] Yay! Thanks, you guys. [to her father] You hear that, Dad? I'm planning your surprise party next! But don't worry. I'll send you an invitation.
- [Everyone else facepalms from hearing Leni's big spoiler.]
- Red Hemka: [lividly punches Leni on the ground] GOOD JOB STUPID!!!! YOU LITERALLY SPOILED ANOTHER SURPRISE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!!!!!!!!!!
- Stan: Lasagna, huh? We got on the show by winning five Buff Man competitions in a year.
- Lynn Sr.: Well, congratulations to you both.
- Steak: Yeah, get used to saying that, 'cuz we're gonna stomp your butts!
- Stan: Yeah. You ever see a hammerhead go after a guppy? The shark just gets in there, [roaring and chomping]!
- Steak: Just to be clear, you're the guppy.
- Lynn Sr.: What do you think those guys had for breakfast, Jerk Chicken?
- Lincoln: Zing! Good one, Dad! [they laugh]
Mall of Duty (22.2)
- [They come back]
- Lincoln: Thanks again.
- Tough guy: [stops the kids, revealing his rude nature] Excuse me? I've never seen you before! Of course, my eyes are pretty swollen from these hives, so...
- Lincoln: I'm really sorry about that.
- [Tough guy refuses to accept his apology]
- Tough guy: [angrily banishes Lincoln] Back of the line, pal!
- Lincoln: But the line's, like, twice as long now!
- [Tough guy doesn’t listen to him anymore. The girls groan in frustration and they all go back to the increasingly long line, disappointed of a rude man]
- Lincoln: [sees a bunch of kids looking at Lola who is sitting on a throne] Lola, playtime's over. We gotta go.
- Lola: That's no way to speak to your queen! Send him to the dungeon!
- Lincoln: [about to be attacked] Lola, wait! I just came to tell you, uh... there's another queen outside who says she's more powerful than you.
- Lola: What? Well, I'll have her head! [they charge out of the store and find nothing] There's no one here! You lied! Well played, sir.
- Lincoln: Let's move out.
- Lincoln: [finds some bones] Aha! I found another D: Diet!
- Lucy: Lincoln, that's not human food.
- Lincoln: It is if the human is:
- Lincoln, Lisa, Lucy, and Lola: [notices the pet shop nearby] Lana.
Read Aloud (23.1)
- Librarian Wetta: [sees Lisa's fake disguise] You look familiar!
- Lisa: Oh, uh, [fake Texan accent] No, ma'am. I'm brand new to these here parts.
- Librarian Wetta: Hmm...I swear I've seen you somewhere before. [sees the Loud family with a mountain of books to check out] Emilio, I'm gonna need backup.
- Librarian Wetta: Get back here!
- [the family looks out the window and notices that Lisa is running away from Librarian Wetta]
- Lisa: You'll never catch me Wetta!
- Librarian Wetta: You owe me $50,000!
Not a Loud (23.2)
- Clyde: Alan could open doors with his mind. Let's see what you've got.
- [Lincoln tries opening the door using mind powers, and after a few seconds, it does open]
- Lincoln and Clyde: It worked!
- Lana: [turns out she opened it] I'd give it a minute before going in there. Whew!
- Clyde: Well, scratch that. The next test is the ability to regenerate lost limbs. Do you have a stick you could bite on?
- Lincoln: Clyde, I think it's pretty obvious I'm not an alien.
Tricked! (Episode 24)
- [The boys run off in their direction. On the intersection of Franklin and Olive, kids are out trick-or-treating as Lincoln and Clyde arrive, but they hear Hank and Hawk laughing evilly and hide in the bush.]
- Hank: Franklin Avenue. Ha! Score!
- [He and Hawk put on disturbing baby masks, laughs evilly, and head down Lincoln's street to have revenge. The boys pop out as soon as they leave.]
- Clyde: [terrified] Boy, those baby masks sure are creepy.
- Lincoln: Yeah. But little do they know where the real score is. Right, buddy?
- Clyde: I can't wait to tell Dr. Lopez about this. But should I tell her in group, or wait for our one-on-one?
- Lincoln: Definitely group. You might inspire someone.
- [They head off to the manor.]
- Hawk: Let's get 'em!
- [They leap out of the treehouse to be ready for their another revenge and chases Clincoln McCloud. The boys climb over a log, but the stinkers plow right through it. The boys hop over stones on a lake, but the stinkers charge on top of the water. The boys cross another log acting as a bridge, and when the stinkers try, their combined weight breaks the bridge, making them fall, scream, and climb up with their bare hands. Soon, they arrive back into town.]
- Hawk: [stops in pain] Ugh, stomach cramps!
- Hank: Aw, man! If you get a cramp, I'll get a cramp.
- Clyde: [looking back] I think we're losing them! [realizes] Oh, wait. We don't wanna lose them!
- Lincoln: Let's just jog in place.
- [They do so]
- Hawk: I'm okay!
- Lincoln: Go!
- [The chase resumes all the way to the corn maze with the stinkers grins evilly once again as they getting ready to kill the boys and they rush in.]
- Hank: They're ours now.
- [Lincoln and Clyde duck into a few corn plants and lose them.]
- Clyde: It worked! We got them in here.
- Lincoln: As Winston Churchill once said, 'Never, never, never give up.' [Clyde looks at him all ecstatically.] I felt bad, so while we were jogging in place, I glanced at the study guide.
- [The stinkers are still looking for the boys.]
- Hawk: [a little scared] It's really dark in here.
- Hank: Man up, bro! I want that candy. [notices the lights turning off] What's that?
- [Lincoln and Clyde are giving out the full-size bars they got to the kids to make up for being robbed by the stinkers.]
- Ballerina girl: Trick or treat!
- [Lincoln gives her one]
- Clyde: Here you go.
- Harry Potter boy: Trick or treat!
- Lincoln: [gives him one] And here you go.
- Robot kid: [in a faux metallic voice] TRICK OR TREAT.
- [Lincoln gives him one and the younger sisters are next.]'
- Lola, Lana and Lisa: Trick or treat!
- [Lincoln gives each of them one.]
- 'Lola: Ooh!
- Lana: Full-size candy bars? No way!
- Lisa: Wow. Where did you acquire these magnificent specimens?
- Lincoln: It's a long story. Let's just say next Halloween, we have a great place to take you guys trick-or-treating.
- Clyde: You'll just need a British accent.
- [The sisters run off and a boy as a mummy comes up next.]
- Mummy boy: Trick or treat!
- Lynn Loud, Sr.: [screams] I HATE HALLOWEEN!
The Crying Dame (25.1)
- Lola: Three nights of torture! I cannot lose any more beauty sleep!
- Leni: I was so tired last night; I fell asleep in the middle of cutting Lori's hair.
- Lori: What?! [looks at her reflection on a frying pan and discovers a huge bald spot on the back of her head] Aaaah!
- Lola: I finally got some beauty sleep. Oh yeah! I am back!
- Leni: I slept so well, I got up early and made Lori these extensions. Now I just need a stapler.
- Lori: [nervously grabs them] I'll take it from here!
- Lori: Uh, guys, is this all reminding you of anyone?
- Lincoln: [gasps] Holy moly! We literally turned Dad into us! [Leni screams]
- [Mr. Loud and Luna are jamming in the garage when he leans over to Mr. Grouse's window and sees him ordering socks online]
- Luna: [rings his bell in his ear] Oops, you did it again. No looking at devices, Dad. Not even Mr. Grouse's.
- Lynn Sr.: But he just got a really good deal on socks.
Snow Way Out (26.1)
- Flip: [gets his burgers] Come to Flippy!
- Lana: [Crossing her fingers]No wrapper! No wrapper! No wrapper!
- Flip: Dang it! All losers!
- Flip: Hey, Blippity Fletchman! She may have fixed your car, but I'm the one who brought her here. How about a little something for me?
- Bobbie Fletcher: Coming right up, pal. [revs up her engine and speeds off, blasting some snow all over Flip]
Snow Way Down (26.2)
- Lincoln: [out in the snowy hills] Pilot to co-pilot, we are ready for launch! [he and Clyde about to go down when Clyde's Dads appear at the base]
- Howard and Harold: Ah, ah!
- [the trees have mattresses tied to them]
- Howard: Good thing we found that clearance sale on mattresses.
- Harold: [wrapping Lincoln and Clyde up in bubble wrap] And on bubble wrap. Now we're good.
- Clyde: Guys! I'm here!
- Harold: Clyde! Did you call the ranger?
- Clyde: I did, but I got his voicemail!
- Howard: What?! Harold, our next vacation is Chicago, not the sticks!