The Ren & Stimpy Show/Season 3

Ren & Stimpy Seasons: 1/2/3/4/5 Others: Ren & Stimpy "Adult Party Cartoon"

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The Ren & Stimpy Show is an American animated television series created by John Kricfalusi for Nickelodeon. The series follows the adventures of titular characters Ren, an emotionally unstable chihuahua, and Stimpy, a good-natured, dimwitted cat.

Season 3

An Abe Divided [3.03b]

Stimpy [reading his Christmas list to the Lincoln Memorial]: And I want a bike, and a Betsy-Wets-Herself doll, and a CHEE-Z Bake Oven, and a Pulpy the Pup doll, and a jillion army men, and a... [Ren throws a sponge at him] Ooh!

Ren: Get down from there! That's not Santy Claus! It's a memorial!

Stimpy: A memorial? [gasps, then starts tearing up] I didn't know Santa Claus was... DEAD...! [starts crying hysterically]

Ren: [pulling Stimpy down from the memorial] You are so stupid.

Stimpy: [sniffling] Am I?

Ren: [slapping Stimpy] Idiot! Don't you recognize President Willard P. Fillmore when you see him?! Now get back to work!

Stimpy's Cartoon Show [3.04]

Wilbur Cobb: Shh! The walls have teeth. Us Italians have to stick together, ya know! Now what is it ya have for me? [removes his glasses, taking his eyeballs and nose with them]

Stimpy: My... my film?

Wilbur Cobb: The film! The film, of course, the film! Have I ever told you how we made that film? We spent hundreds of millions of hours and dollars on that film, and, and it was a lot of cra... a bunch of cra... a whole bunch of cra... a lot of...

Stimpy: Uh... crap?

Wilbur Cobb: NO!

Stimpy: Oh.

Wilbur Cobb: Walter Lantz! No account son of a bus driver. Now get this... [He gets up as his arms rip off] If you want to be a genius, it's easy. All you gotta say is "Everything stinks". Then you're never wrong. That's how much of a genius I am! That's how I got to where I am today! Then we got smart! We are not, will not, be the janitor of these starry eyed amateurs... [coughs his teeth out into Ren's mouth] World War I... There I was, up to my elbows in Nazis. Now don't get me wrong, I'll eat just about anything just so long as it's easy to swallow. Now to make a moving picture, ya gotta have two things: Pushers and Shovers. Oh we made mistakes, but I don't regret it, No sir. [Wilbur's ear lands on Stimpy's belly] Fortunately, everybody can't be a chief. The chief is not only the right hand man, but also the left hand man. He is the short man, he is the tall man! From one man to another, he is NO MAN WHATSOEVER! Ya got that, shorty? Now get this: They either got it, or they don't got it. But gosh darn it, I can hold my water. Until the masses cry "CHEAT THE PLATE!" And I say it unto them "LET THE DOVES FREE!" Any questions?

Jimminy Lummox [3.05a]

Ren: Must not get angry... Must not get angry... Huh? [reacts in horror] MY USED CELEBRITY UNDERWEAR! GONE! Where?! Who?! [gasps] Oh, no. OH, NO! [rushes to the laundry room. He sobs] He didn't! He didn't! Stimpy washed my collection... of used celebrity underwear...! I can't even tell the difference... in between Van Johnson's socks... and June Allison's underwear. WHY?! [continues sobbing as Stimpy enters]

Stimpy: Eh... What's wrong, Ren?

Ren: [angry] You! Why, I oughta- [stops, and looks around, scared] Stimpy, what's wrong with you?! Why must you make me so angry?! You know I get hurt when you make me angry! Do you want to get me killed?! [comes to a realization] Unless... Of course...! [starts going insane] That's the plan, isn't it? You set me up, and he knocks me down. Is that it? Huh? Well, it won't work. 'Cuz I'm not gonna get mad. I'm not getting mad... No, sir. Not me. [laughs madly] I'm happy! Happy, happy, joy, joy! Happy, happy, joy, joy! I'm happy, happy, happy! Not mad, mad, mad! [cackles] Mr. Happy Boy, right?! HEY, WORLD! AM I HAPPY ENOUGH?!

[cackles loudly, his insanity reaching its breaking point. He grabs Stimpy] And now you DIE!

Jerry the Bellybutton Elf [3.07a]

Ren: Stimpy, how about some breakfast? I can really go for some of your famous Stimlard. Stimpy? [gasps] STIMPY! [Stimpy was in bellybutton. He becomes sad] OH, STIMPY! [sobs] I warned you. [sob and sniffs] WHY?! WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN?! [sobs and sniffs] WHY?! [Ren chews bellybutton and starts sobbing. He pulls it out] My dearest friend, you reduce to a fleshy love! [Ren cries. He hears a sound in the bellybutton. Stimpy uses a lawnmower. Jerry was so relaxed]

Jerry: Oh, Stimpy, be a good boy. And after you finished mowing the lint, could you wash the lint, and iron the lint, and maybe pick lint from the lint, and, oh, don't forget to walk the lint. [Mr. Horse hears that sound in the bellybutton] DINNER! DINNER! HURRY UP, BOY! I WANT MY DINNER! [Stimpy pants]