The Simpsons/Season 37
The Simpsons: Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 | Movie Crank calls
- The Simpsons (1989–present) is an American animated sitcom broadcast by the Fox Broadcasting Company created by Matt Groening. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family.
- Marge: I can't remember the last movie we saw in theaters. And on opening night!
- Homer: Movies are back, baby!
- Bart: Just think of all the chumps out there waiting three days until this movie's free on streaming.
- Janet Grody: I'm Dr. Janet Grody, creator of Snüf Total-Body Deodorant. It's for all your grossest places. Just rub it right on your butt cleft, under pouch, stink flaps...
- Marge: Ah! How could they say those words on TV?
- Janet Grody: ...peat bog, smuckle, stunk-tank.
- [Homer, Bart, and Lisa are all laughing]
- Marge: Come on. Skip ad. Skip ad.
- Janet Grody: Between-hatch, gunk chunnel, boob swamp, elbow crotch.
- Homer: Elbow crotch. I have one of those.
- Bart: The phone banning guy can't get off his phone. Ironic!
- Rayshelle Peyton: Hey that is irony. Very accurate heckleing Bart.
- Bart: Thank you. I love you.
- Rayshelle Peyton: What?
- Bart: Nothing.
- Krusty: I don't care what deal you made. We got to pull the plug on this nightmare!
- Hal Julian: Are you nuts?! This thing is huge! You're a smash!
- PA #1: They're puking in Peoria.
- PA #2: They're retching in Rochester.
- PA #3: They've got PTSD in Pickstown, South Dakota!
- Ralph: [floating down the river] I'm streaming.
- Greg: Yeah, we never come back with all of them, but nature's amazing because the one that's gone is the one that should be.
- Lisa: Mom, maybe you could tell a story about us when we were younger.
- Marge: Um, we've done that a few times. Not sure what stories are left. Maggie's first tooth, Grampa's last tooth, the time Homer thought he invented stuffed crust pizza.
- Homer: I did invent it. [picks up a paper of Crust Insert Stuff with Pizza on it] I'm the Thomas Edison of stuffing things with cheese.
- Bart: Including yourself.
- Homer: [turns red in anger] Why you little. [strangles Bart]
- Bart: Your primitive strangling is no match for fireplace tongs. [strangles Homer with a fireplace tongs, then Homer tickles him, Homer turns his face normal, then he and Homer lays on the floor]
- Homer: We just made some memories, boy.
- Bart: I caught a frog, I caught a frog. Ooh. Where did he go?
- [A frog is not in Bart's hand, but a frog is on Lisa's nose, causing to Lisa scream as Homer tries to pulls a frog off Lisa's nose]
- Marge: [offscreen] What's going on in there?
- Homer: Boy, quit scaring your sister.
- Johnson Bryans: We follow your path, teacher, but are you sure that the secret to eternal youth is shot-gunning beer and watching the Godzilla Channel until 3:00 a.m.?
- Peter Linz: You know what might make you feel better? Making him feel worse. After all, the Buddha teaches us, "It's impossible to be happy if other people are."
- FBI profiler: My intel confirms that Skinner is the principal of the school, and also he does in fact suck.
- Dentist: Another perfect checkup, Lisa. Next.
- Bart: Hang tight, Dr K. I just got to freshen up. [he goes to the bathroom, puts his bag on the sink, opens his bag and grabs his packet of triple cookies, swallows an entire box of triple cookies]
- Dentist: All right. Let's see what we're working with here... [screaming]
- [at home, Homer reads off details of the statement while he's pacing]
- Homer: Four-hour teeth cleaning... [Bart cackles] Emergency whitening. Oreo exposure therapy for the hygienist. [stops pacing, then angrily yells at Bart] Do you have any idea how much your stunt cost?
- Bart: Can you really put a price on that kind of comedy?
- Homer: What I can do is find a punishment that fits the crime. Now you have an appointment with Dr. Homer. [picks up a power drill]
- Homer: Come on, get in there! Ghost pepper? More like Casper the friendly ghost. Oh. Now it's kicking in. [screaming]
- Bart: I'm driving to school today. How am I gonna learn not to kill people if you don't let me practice?
- [Maggie crying]
- Marge: Maggie, Maggie, rest your voice. You're still getting over that laryngitis.
- Maggie: Please, don't let Bart drive. It's too scary. He drives so wiggly and everybody honks at us and yells bad words and shows us fingers.
- [Bart groans]
