The Venture Bros.
The Venture Bros. is an animated cable television series created by Jackson Publick and written by Publick and Doc Hammer. It chronicles the adventures of two dopey teenage boys Hank and Dean, their mediocre "super-scientist" father (and former boy adventurer) Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture, and their secret-agent bodyguard Brock Samson.
The Venture family travels to New York City, where Dr. Venture is presenting his newest invention to the United Nations. Meanwhile, they are pursued by The Monarch and a mysterious ninja named Otaku Senzuri
- The Monarch: Dr. Venture's legendary scientific curiosity will naturally get the better of him. And when he immediately drills open the cosmic mystery, he'll get a face full of men! My men!! Loyal footsoldiers of my war on everything and deadly! Just like the monarch butterfly of my namesake.
- Henchman: What? Butterflies aren't deadly.
- (Dr. Venture and the boys run into the hangar. Brock is wrestling with a mummy.)
- Brock: Stay back! Another one of those mummies got stuck in our landing gear.
- Mummy: Who dares to desecrate the sacred tomb of- oof!
- (Brock kicks the mummy in the groin and then proceeds to beat him as the mummy protests.)
- Mummy: Ow! Hey, hey! Wait a minute. (Brock breaks the mummys arm.) There's no reason to - aarghhh! (Brock delivers a karate chop to the throat.) Oof! Ow, oh, hey!
- Hank: Holy toledo, he ripped on him!
- Dean: Way to give him a little chin music Brock!
- Dr. Venture: Well that ought to take care of tha-
- Dean: Look, Brock still ain't done with him!
- (Brock unzips his pants and preceeds to urinate on the mummy.)
- Hank: That's showing him who's boss, Brock-O!
- Dr. Venture: Was that really necessary?
- Brock: You have to defile a mummy completely or they'll come back to life. You know that.
- Hank: Ma Venture didn't raise no fools!
- Dean: W-we don't have a mom, Hank.
- (long, awkward pause)
- Dean: Last one to the hanger's a rotten banana!
- Hank: You're a rotten banana!
- The Monarch: You see, just like the flawless monarch butterfly from which I take my name, The Monarch has many ways to sting.
- Cabbie: (weakly) Monarchs... don't sting...
- (Senzuri has just been discovered next to the Ooh ray)
- General: He wasn't trying to steal it, he was masturbating like a teenager with a fast internet connection.
- Hank: (puzzled) Mastur... what?
- Dean: (equally puzzled) Like an evil master plan?
- Prostitute: Okay big fella, you first. I charge you ten bucks for the gilded lily, twenty for the Roman holiday, fifty for the old Walrus 'n' Carpenter,and for seventy-five you can sleigh ride down Kilimanjaro.
- UN Guard: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to turn in your weapon.
- Dr. Venture: It's all right, soldier. Mr. Samson is my bodyguard.
- UN Guard: Just the same, doctor. I'm going to have to confiscate it from you.
- Brock: (growls furiously) Go ahead. (gives a horrible grin) Take it from me.
- (Guard looks back to another guard, who shakes his head in absolute fear.)