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You (TV series)

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Sometimes... we do bad things for the people we love. It doesn't mean it's right. It means love is more important.
There's not a line in the world that I wouldn't cross for you.
All books add up to one essential truth, which is, if your IQ is above a certain number, life is pretty much unbearable. And the number is not even that high.

You (2018–2025) is an American psychological thriller television series based on the novel series of the same name by Caroline Kepnes.

Season 1

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Pilot [1.01]

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Joe: [internally, when he sees Beck for the first time] Well, hello there. Who are you?
[First line in the series]
Beck: Hello. Do you work here?
Joe : Guilty.
[Beck's first words to Joe]
Joe: [reading Beck's card] Guinevere?
Beck: Yeah, my parents were assholes with the whole naming thing. But everyone just calls me Beck. And you're Joe...
Joe: Goldberg. Everyone calls me Joe.
Joe: At the end of the day people are really just disappointing, aren’t they? But are you, Beck? Are you?
Beck: Hey, I don’t wanna sound like a stalker but... I think I know you.
Joe: Oh, the... Right. Of course. I remember. I'm sorry.
Beck: I do think I would be happier if I was stupider.
Joe: But then the world wouldn't know your poetry.
Beck: How'd you know I write poetry?

Maybe [1.03]

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Joe: I'm not a "maybe." I'm the one.

Living With The Enemy [1.05]

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Joe: Sometimes I swear, I'm the only real feminist you know.
Joe: Did Beck tell you I started jogging?
Peach: Fun! Runner's high is better than sex. And for some, may last longer. [referring to Joe and Beck's first sex encounter]
Joe: [internally] Touché, bitch.
Joe: [internally] I tried to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect friend to your friends, and it wasn't enough, so, to hell with it. It's freeing in a way, to know so definitively where I stand. Where you stand. To know for certain what I have to do to protect you. And just like that, everything clicks into place. My feet. Runner's high. It is pretty great. And I remember, this is why I took up jogging.
[Joe hits Peach in the head with a rock]
Joe: [internally] Oh. She's dead. Of course she's dead, she fell. [starts frantically running away] That's right, she fell. An accident. Happens all the time, she was running and she fell. Into a rock. Over and over again. Okay, let's be real, she was attacked, someone attacked her, but maybe they had a good reason, right? You ever think of that, Detective? SHIT! Detectives are real and DNA is a thing and I just hit that girl with a rock — god, the sound, I would never hurt a woman — but she was a dangerous, flesh-hungry harpy. She forced my hand. That's on her and her family for screwing her up. I had to, Beck, I had to. I knew you'd never forgive me, but she gave me no choice. I'm not a bad person. She was going to ruin you. But you're safe now. Thanks to me. I just want you to live your best life. It's brave, what I do for you. It's not easy, it's hard. Sometimes it makes me sick. I'm brave. How many guys will do anything for the person they love? Honestly, Beck, you're lucky to have me.

Amour Fou [1.06]

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Peach:[to Beck] Joe is trash. Joe is nothing. You're my family. I'd die for you. Would he?
Joe:[eavesdropping, internally] In a heartbeat.

Bluebeard's Castle [1.10]

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[a mysterious woman walks into the bookstore]
Joe: [internally] Well. Hello, there. Who are you? You've got that hoodie. You don't like to be stared at. But your legs are bare. You like a little attention. Okay, I'll bite.
[she walks up to Joe; she's revealed to be Candace, the ex Joe thought he killed]
Candace: Hey, bunny.
Joe: Candace. You're...
Candace: Alive. Yeah. So uh... I think we have some unfinished business to talk about.

Season 2

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A Fresh Start [2.01]

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Joe: [internally, seeing a woman he is instantly enamoured with] Hello... you. No, fuck, no, I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna try to figure out who you are, why you look so concerned about the state of that heirloom tomato...
[she bumps into a customer]
Her: Oh, did I get you? Are you okay?
Customer: It's okay.
Joe: [internally] You have a way with people. They just like you. Your shirt is faded, but fresh. You like to take care of things. Your shoes are clean, but more. You walk in a town where nobody walks. I won't say hello. I'll accidentally bump into you. You'll never even know I was here.
[Joe walks closer to her and looks at the produce]
Her: [to Joe] Excuse me? Do you think this peach looks like a butt? There is no wrong answer.
Joe: It looks a little like a butt, yeah.
Her: Right? Hm. Thank you.
Joe: [internally] Are you flirting? I'd like to think you are, but it's just... I can't.
Joe: I should also inform you that... all peaches look like butts.
Joe: [internally] I should walk away.
Her: Oh yes. Well, thank you for your honesty. I might go out on a limb and suggest that... bell peppers can be extremely vaginal depending on how you cut them.
Joe: I hadn't noticed that, but I definitely will now. Thank you.

Have A Good Wellkend, Joe! [2.05]

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Forty: You gotta meet my girl, Amy. Amy, come here.
[Joe looks up; Forty's girlfriend Amy is Candace]
Candace: Hi there.
Forty: [introducing them] Will Bettelheim, Amy Adam.
Candace: Nice to meet you.
Joe: [internally] It can't be. Am I hallucinating? [shakes hands with Candace] This is her hand, this is real. Candace is here.
Candace: Will Bettelheim... What a great name. Almost sounds made up.
Joe: [internally] Is she trying to spar with me? [out loud] That's funny, I was just thinking, "Amy Adam." How totally ungoogleable.
[everyone laughs]
Joe: [internally] This is a game to her. She's enjoying this.
Love: [to Candace] I'm so happy to see you again. [hugs her]
Joe: [internally] She's crazy, Love!
Love: I'm also so hungry I could eat my own hand, so let's...
Candace: Oh, no, don't worry. Just eat mine. [they laugh]
Joe: [internally] Like the kids say, "Fuck my life."

Ex-istential Crisis [2.07]

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[Delilah finds Joe's cage, but before she can leave with the evidence on her phone, Joe shows up]
Joe: I got a nanny cam in my apartment when my crazy ex... broke in. I was gonna ask if you wanted to have dinner tonight! Until I saw you'd already been by. And found some keys.
[someone calls Delilah]
Joe: Give me the phone. Don't make me take it.
Delilah: What are you gonna do? I will scream.
Joe: It's soundproof.

P.I. Joe [2.09]

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Candace: God! What is it about Joe FUCKING Goldberg? Why is it that no one can see him for what he is?
Forty: Careful. You're talking about my family.

Season 3

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So I Married An Axe Murdered [3.02]

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Love: You act all pure and noble, like you have reasons for what you do when you do it. But when I do it, I'm crazy, right? I'm some manic nutjob. "But, oh, wait! Oh, wait! She's a mom now, I guess I can't slit her throat." He... is the only reason I'm alive. How do you think that makes me feel? I can't trust you.
Joe: I can't trust you either! I was trying to... Yes, yes. Yes, I did things. But I've worked hard to be better and I am not that person anymore. But now, I will be burying bodies until I'm 70 years old! Because if I'm not 100% into you all of the time, you will keep killing people!
Love: If I'm not enough for you, you'll kill me.

Missing White Woman Syndrome [3.03]

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Joe: Masturbation saves the day for now.

What is Love [3.10]

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[Love is about to kill Joe, but he stabs her with a syringe. Love screams, and Joe injects the liquid into her]
Joe: [internally] Aconite, when injected directly, burns as it moves through the system to the heart. Think less slow paralysis, more total fսcking agony. I'm sorry it had to come to this.
Joe: Did you really think that I wouldn't start to wonder... what you were growing in the garden? Wolf's-bane. A paralytic.
Love: No.
Joe: It slows the heart. So I Googled antidotes. Turns out, I needed biohacking. Adrenaline. And who doesn't have that around here, right? A little voice in my head told me to take it. Before you played your hand.
Love: Joe...
Joe: You did this to yourself. And the hardest part was making the dose, because I couldn't lie to myself. It had to be enough. I had to finally stop you.
Love: [dying] We're perfect for each other. But bad... for Henry. He'll know what you are.
[Joe, pretending to be Love, writes an email to the residents of Madre Linda. Love's voice narrates it.]
Love: Friends and neighbors... I'd like to thank you for welcoming my family with open arms, but... you didn't. I moved to the suburbs because I bought into the dream. Community, prosperity, and most of all, safety. But I never felt safe here. Judged from day one, for my past, my body, how I was raising my child. If I wasn't perfect, I would lose it all. A game so rigged, it could only exist in a world that hates women, especially mothers. But what choice did I have? So I played. And I realized your fence, your doorbell cam, you tell yourself you're keeping your family safe, but it's a lie. You're too afraid to do what you need to do to really protect your own. I am not a coward. I do what must be done to protect my family. I killed the adulterer next door. I framed the anti-vaxxer who sickened my child, hunted down the reporter who threatened us. I trapped the couple who tried to sabotage us. Forced them to really see each other. I forced my husband to play along. But in the end, he was a coward too. And when I realized he had grown to hate me, I killed him. Better than a messy divorce. Everybody keeps their dignity. When the shock wears off... and you feel safe jogging in your expensive athleisure again...
Love and Joe: ...remember, you can get off the hamster wheel at any time.
[Joe sends the email]
Joe: You just have to be willing to burn it to the ground.

Season 4

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Joe Takes a Holiday [4.01]

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[group on the other side of the room laugh]
Rhys Montrose: What could possibly be that funny? [sits next to Joe]
Joe: [internally] Rhys Montrose. What's he doing here?
Joe: Good book.
Joe: [internally] Oh, no. I sound drunk.
Rhys: So you're the new one. Mal unfailingly adopts you lads, back since the dormitory at...
Joe: [internally] Oxford, right. They were all there together. The book is about how he was born into poverty, raised by an unstable single mom, uncomfortably relatable, and he was a mess, then found out he's the son of a duke, cleaned up, went to Oxford, and became the author of honestly one of the best memoirs I've ever read.
Rhys: Quite a thing, that. Tell no one your sordid life story for 30 years, then write it down, suddenly millions know your every shame.
Joe: For what it's worth, I didn't find your book sordid.
Rhys: Fellow man with a shit childhood, then?
[Joe looks away]
Rhys: I see. A true shit childhood. Pleasure to meet you, brother in arms. The thing about getting money when you had none, you never really feel you have it. And all the people who always did...
Joe: Another species.
Rhys: Exactly.
Joe: [internally] I actually don't hate him, yet.
Rhys: They're dancing while the world burns. Barely notice it's even burning. Why would they? Their weather's just right.

Good Man, Cruel World [4.07]

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[there's a knock on the door]
Joe: [internally] I knew you'd bite. [sets his phone to record audio]
[Joe opens the door for Rhys, who walks in]
Rhys: All right, spill. What does Lockwood claim he knows?
Joe: What do you think he knows?
Rhys: Aah... Don't be coy.
Joe: [internally] Watch me.
Rhys: Is it about the book? Who hasn't taken liberties with their own story? It's called writing.
Joe: That's what you're most afraid of people finding out?
Rhys: [sniffs]
Joe: What?
Rhys: [sniffs louder] You smell that? Smells like a fucking rat.
Joe: [internally] Shit.
[Rhys grabs Joe's phone from his pocket]
Rhys: You think I'm a FUCKING idiot? Hmm?
[Rhys stops the recording and discards the phone]
Rhys: When are you gonna understand? I'm smarter than you.
[Rhys shows Joe Marienne's passport]
Rhys: Look familiar? Yes, Joe. I found your old lover. She's a feisty one.
Joe: [voice shaking] How?
Rhys: Repeat after me. I'm smarter than you.
Joe: Is she dead?
Rhys: How would that be smart? No one even knows she's gone. I texted her babysitter friend from her phone. "Oops, I tripped and fell on a heroin needle, please look after my daughter." Whatever her fuckin name is.
[Joe pushes Rhys]
Joe: Her name is Juliette and she needs her mother!
Rhys: Ooh, easy. I'd stay right there mate. Driver's outside, campaign staff know my whereabouts. Let's, let's keep it civil, shall we?
Joe: Where is she?
Rhys: She's tucked away. Kill Lockwood, and I'll release her immediately, however, if Lockwood isn't dead in 24 hours, I'll send you Marienne Bellamy's teeth in a fuckin fruit basket.
[Joe is torturing Rhys to make him reveal Marienne's whereabouts. Rhys claims ignorance]
Joe: Stop gaslighting me! You know who I am. You know what you've had me do for YOU! I'd let her go. I'd stepped away! I WAS STARTING OVER! [starts choking Rhys] Where is she? TELL ME WHERE SHE IS! TELL ME OR I'LL KILL YOU! YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH! TELL ME!!!
[Rhys' body goes limp]
Joe: [internally] What did I do? It was an accident. I... I lost it. Marienne, I'm so sorry. I will find a way. I will find you.
[another Rhys walks up to Joe from behind]
Rhys: Well, isn't this a pickle. [inspects the body of dead Rhys]
Joe: Uhh... uhh.. okay. I'm hallucinating. I...
Rhys: Killed me? Yes. But not before a shocking amount of military-grade ball torture. He wasn't lying, Joe. He didn't know you. But then, I wasn't lying either. We really do have Marienne in a cage.

The Death of Jonathan Moore [4.10]

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Rhys: I don't understand you. You and Kate have a future.
Joe: No we don't.
Rhys: Of course you do. Why not?
Joe: BECAUSE I WILL... kill her.
Rhys: Will you?
Joe: Every time I try... I made it perfect. It's never enough. There's no amount of loving or supporting or killing the assholes holding them back. I want this time to be different, but now I know, it's not gonna be different with Kate.
Rhys: No, no, no. Stop, stop. I just helped you. I can help you with this.
Joe: Very sweet of you to offer, Rhys, but I think we both know you're full of shit.
Rhys: It's not about Kate, is it? It's us. Despite all I've ever done for you... [pauses] you... despise me. All I ever wanted was to make you happy!
Joe: And it ends with a corpse in the trunk of my car over and over. I can't do that again. We did what we did for Kate... I'm done.
Rhys: No. We can figure this out, you and me. You and I, we can do anything together. I'm alive for you. Why can't you see that? Why can't you see me the way I see you? I love you!

Season 5

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Last Dance [5.05]

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Joe: One more month, and we say goodbye to Reagan. Forever.
Maddie: Why is she not haunting you?
Joe: [internally] Because I'm glad she's dead.

#JoeGoldberg [5.07]

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Joe's old student: [in an online video about Joe] Besides his fake name, he was always canceling class early, to do what, kill people?
Joe: I was DISSOCIATING!

Folie a Deux [5.08]

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Kate: One day, your son will know that you're a fucking serial killer.
Joe: Kate… Kate, my conscience is clean. If we're being honest, you have killed way more people. I have never killed any children.

Finale [5.10]

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Joe: Fucking Brontë.
Joe: [internally] So... in the end, my punishment is even worse than I imagined. The loneliness. Oh. My. God. The loneliness. No hope of being held. Knowing this is forever. It's unfair. Putting all of this on me. Aren't we all just products of our environment? Hurt people hurt people. I never stood a chance.
Officer: Goldberg. [slides a letter to Joe]
Joe: [internally] Ah, yes. Another fan. Why am I in a cage when these crazies write me all the depraved things they want me to do to them? Maybe we have a problem as a society. Maybe we should fix what's broken in us. Maybe the problem isn't me. Maybe... it's you.
[ending of the show]

Cast

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