Mr. Bean

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Rowan Atkinson portraying Mr. Bean in August 1997

Mr. Bean (1990–1995) is a British comedy show that ran on ITV and starred Rowan Atkinson as its main character Mr. Bean.

There are two spin off movies with the Bean character titled Bean and Mr. Bean's Holiday as well as an animated series.

Episodes[edit]

Mr. Bean [1.01][edit]

[Mr. Bean is driving his red Mini behind a blue Reliant. He tries overtaking it. He succeeds, the Reliant drifting to the side. Bean parks the car, not knowing he tipped over a sign saying "To the EXAMINATION HALL". He grabs his bag, locks his car, and throws the keys back to the car through a hinged glass window. He enters the university and goes to an exam session. He sits down next to a male student with a blue jacket]
Student: Done your revision?
Mr. Bean: Uh, oh yes. I concentrated on trigonometry.
Student: I've done calculus, mainly.
Mr. Bean: Oh! I believe they concentrated on calculus last year!
Student: Oh! Oh, dear! [Mr. Bean snickers]

The Return of Mr. Bean [1.02][edit]

Maître D': "Have you decided, sir?"
Mr. Bean: "Yes. Um, could I have this, please?"
Maître D': "The steak tartare?"
Mr. Bean: "Uhh, steak, yes."
[Bean feels something below his neck, he pulls out a hanger, where he gives it to the maître d'. A waiter holding a wine bottle appears on the background, presenting himself to Bean]
Waiter: "Would you like to try the house wine, sir?"
Mr. Bean: "Uhh... yes, please." [The waiter pours a small amount of wine to a glass, where Bean drinks it immediately. The waiter prepares to pour more wine]
Mr. Bean: "No, no, no, no no. I'm driving." [Laugh track]
[Bean hits the wine glasses to the tune of "Happy Birthday to You". Later, the waiter brings the steak tartare and the audience laughs as Bean notices that it is raw. He tries a piece, only to be disgusted]
Maître D': "Everything to your satisfaction sir?"
Mr. Bean: [grinning] "Mmmm." [The maître d' walks away and Bean spits it out. ]
Waiter: "Is everything all right sir?"
Mr. Bean: "Oh, yes."
Waiter: "Are you sure?"
Mr. Bean: "Mmmm, yes." [Picks up a forkful as if he is about to eat it but hesitates to put it in his mouth]
[The waiter goes and Bean quickly disposes of the offending food by putting it under a plate, in a woman's handbag etc.. Later the waiter trips over Bean's table and Bean pretends that he is the reason that the food is in various places]
Waiter: "Excuse me! I do apologise. I am terribly sorry, sir."
Maître D': "What-ever is going on?"
Mr. Bean: "It really is the most appalling mess"
Maître D': "I really cannot..., please, do forgive us." [The violinist plays "Happy Birthday to You" again, the maître d' puts a cloth on Bean's lap, the waiter appears from the left with another plate, and the maître d' opens the lid, revealing another steak tartare. Laughter and applause from the audience]
Narrator: "'And you join us as the royal car winds its way slowly to the entrance of the Odeon Cinema for tonight's gala performance. The crowd cheers, their spirits undampened by the light November drizzle..." [cut to the inside of cinema's entrance] "...and inside, waiting to greet the royal party, are the stars of the film as well as those tireless backroom boys who really make it all happen behind the scenes."

"[Bean practices his routine for when he meets the Queen. He tries bowing, showing off his clean teeth etc. After a while, his middle finger gets stuck in the zip of his pants, as the Queen starts greeting the other backstage people. He struggles to get it out and bows when he sees her, unintentionally headbutting her]"

The Curse of Mr. Bean [1.03][edit]

Lifeguard: Would you get out of there, please?
Lifeguard: Everybody out now, please.
Mr. Bean: Just popped out for lunch
Man in Park: Me, too. Nothing like a quick sandwich.
Mr. Bean: No, absolutely.
[Bean has spread butter onto his sandwich with his credit card]
Mr. Bean: My flexible friend.
Mr. Bean "ATCHOO!"
Mr. Bean: No! These are mine.
Mr. Bean: Come on!

Mr. Bean Goes To Town [1.04][edit]

Mr. Bean: "Excuse me, could you..."
Man: "Sure."
Mr. Bean: "If you'd be so kind, press the red button."
Man: "Now, just try one more and turn around" [Bean hesitates] "Actually, face them, yeah. Right the way around and face the women." [As Bean faces the sculpture, the man examines Bean's camera and then runs away.]
[Cut to some vegetation, then we see the thief taking random pictures. Bean appears from the left, holding a rubbish bin, and quickly cages him down with it]
Mr. Bean: "Camera thief!"
Shopkeeper: "Yes? Can I help you, sir?"
Mr. Bean: "Can I have this, please?"
Shopkeeper: "Certainly, sir." [He goes off-screen, then back with the other pair] "There you are, sir, size nine."
Mr. Bean: "No, but I only want the one."
Shopkeeper: "No, no, they come as two"
Mr. Bean: "One."
Shopkeeper: "I have to sell them as two shoes." [The car with Bean's shoe appears behind Bean. He goes after it. He goes down the street and stops the car, bumping him in the process. Bean comes up back again holding the shoe]
Mr. Bean: "Thank you!"
[Bean goes to a camera stall, the photos reveal to be the back of Bean's head]
[Cut to a flashing neon sign, it says "CLUB PHUT", zoom out to reveal the entrance and Irma standing]
Mr. Bean: "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late; I got..." [They both get in the club, but not after Bean hits the sign's power source, the sign glows brightly and then dims, the audience laughs]
[Cut to a magic show, then cut to Bean and Irma sitting down. Drumroll]
Magician: "Now, please, can I have one volunteer from the audience?"
Mr. Bean: [to the waitress] "Oh!" [raises his hand to her]
Magician: "Ah, we have a gentleman here." [The spotlight points at Bean] "Please, come here."
Mr Bean: "I wanted the waitress. The waitress..." [Bean and the magician enter the stage, then the magician pulls out Bean's handkerchief from his vest] "Give that back!" [He snatches it from the magician, but he takes it again then returns it. The magician puts his hand inside of Bean's vest, pulling out a bouquet of flowers]
[The magician takes Bean's watch and using the cloth and a hammer, he "crushes" the watch inside the cloth. He pushes the cloth, revealing confetti. He present's Bean's watch again, undamaged and throws it up in the air. As the magician is doing some card tricks, Bean is walking around the stage, messing with the magician's equipment. After the card trick is done, drumroll. The assistant guides Bean to the next trick]
Mr. Bean: "I'm looking for my watch. It fell down here..."
[The assistant puts Bean into a magic box]
Mr. Bean: "Where is--"
[The magician closes the magic box with the square slot. Bean opens the slot, revealing his face.]
Mr. Bean: [to the magician] "Excuse me, I'm looking for my watch!"
[The magician immediately shuts the slot. His assistant throws him a sword. He proves the audience that the swords are real and thrusts them at the box.]
Man on audience: "Behind you!"
[Meanwhile, Mr. Bean is already outside the box and tries to find his watch. Several cuts between Bean and Irma. The magician thrusts more swords into the box]
Another man on audience: "Boo!"
[Mr. Bean finds his watch behind the magician's pants, cut to table where Irma was sitting, she disappears. Mr. Bean runs out from the stage, from to the room. Crowd boos. The magician comes out from the room with a sword in hand, but cannot find Mr. Bean, who is in the disco room.]
[In the disco room, Bean tries to dance with Irma, but she leaves her alone, and another man dances with him. Bean tries many times to get the man out of Bean's girlfriend, which succeeds at the end, then Bean talks with the disc jockey]
Mr. Bean: "Do you think you..., could you change it into something a bit more..." [Music changes to a slow dance, as Bean checks on Irma, she is already dancing with the man, embracing each other. Audience laughs and sounds of disappointment. Bean leaves the disco room]
[Bean looks at the disco room one last time, more sounds of disappointment from the audience. As he leaves the club, Bean notices some power switches on the wall. He pushes one of them, turning off the lights in the disco room, much to the laughter and applause of the audience. He then leaves the club]
Television: "England off to an attacking start in the second half, finding it very tough--" [As Bean passes the store, the televisions become static, then back again as he leaves] "...pushing, pushing. Here's..." [Credits roll, choir sings "Vale homo qui est faba..."]
[We see Bean's hand touching the glass of the store, putting all the televisions into static again. His hand leaves the glass, the televisions are normal again]

Merry Christmas Mr Bean [1.07][edit]

Mr. Bean: "Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean."

Mr. Bean In Room 426 [1.08][edit]

Mr. Bean: Thieves, everywhere!
Mr. Bean: Uh, Bean.
Receptionist: Right. Would you like a pen, sir?
Mr. Bean: Oh, thank you very much.
Matthew: Can I move your car, sir?
Mr. Bean: Oh...
Receptionist: Good morning. If you like to check in, sir?
Man: Thank you.
Mr. Bean: Oh, oh. British.
[Matthew returns the steering wheel of Bean's mini]
Mr. Bean: Ah, thank you very much.
[Matthew clears his throat, as if asking for a tip. Bean gives him some kind of candy or cough drop as a tip. Bean then examines a TV remote, thinking it's a phone.]
Mr. Bean: Hello? [Bean presses a button, the TV turns on to a football match, audience cheering]
Announcer on TV (first channel): "I don't believe it!" [Bean turns off the TV, then turns it back on, audience on TV still cheers throughout] "Goodness me. I... What a response..." [Bean turns TV off, quickly turns it on] "Terrible, just..." [Bean turns TV off and on again, and again] "The crowd is..." (Bean changes the channel quickly, then stands near the wall while changing the channels]
Man 1 on TV (second channel): "Get out of here!" [Bean changes the channel quickly]
Announcer on TV (first channel): "The players are run--..." [Bean changes the channel]
Chorus on TV (fourth channel): "Halleujah!" [Bean hides in the blanket while changing the channels]
Man on TV (fifth channel): "Do you know what you are to me?"
Chorus on TV (fourth channel): "Halleujah, hallelujah, hallelu--!"
Man on TV (fifth channel): "...the whole town. A spring morning in Paris..." [Bean stands at the lobby, foot on door, while changing the channels. He lets go of his foot of the door, closing the door itself]
Chorus on TV (fourth channel): "Halleujah, hallelujah! Hallelujah, ha--" [Bean changes the channel]
Woman on TV (fifth channel): "That's my heart beating."
Man on TV (fifth channel): "Does it go like a subway train?"
[Bean changes the channel, sports fans on first channel chanting while Bean walks a few steps, then changes the channel again, dances to some upbeat music from the TV, changes the channel once again]
Man 2 (second channel): "Look, coming down off the hill!"
[Bean walks forward, western style]
Man 3 on TV (second channel): "Hang on, Joe!"
[Bean changes the channel, like a cowboy shooting his revolver]
Chorus on TV (fourth channel): "Hallelujah, hallelujah! For the Lord God omnipote--"
[A room neighbor comes out, Bean holds remote on his back]
Mr. Bean: [scoffs, knocks on own room door] Will you be quiet? [Turns off TV at "omnipotent"] Sorted him out.
[Neighbor returns to his room. Bean returns to his room, unpacks his case]
Man: Uh, excuse me. I've got a bit of a problem. Could you...
Receptionist: Certainly, sir. How can I help, sir?
Man: Well, I left my watch in the bathroom, and now I can't open the door.
Receptionist: Allow me to try, sir.
Man: Must be jammed or something.
Receptionist: Yes, very odd.
Man: I don't understand. It was all right earlier.
Receptionist: The lock's on the other side.
Man: I need to get my watch back.
Receptionist: I'm sorry, sir. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I'll get someone on to it right away.
Man: Good.
Receptionist: [to Bean] Morning.
[Bean knocks on neighbor's door, then runs to elevator, which is out of order.]
Mr. Bean: Aha! [Bean goes down the stairs, but is slowed down by an elderly woman. He goes round to the other staircase but gets stuck behind her again.]
Woman: I don't think I'll be able to eat again for another year.
Mr. Bean: Ta-da! [Mr. Bean succeeds in overtaking her, but is slowed down again by an elderly man, holding two canes, in front of him]
Man: Um, excuse me, are these all right? [The waiter smells the shellfish]
Waiter: No, I do apologise, sir.
Man: That's OK.
[The waiter smells the oyster tray, then is disgusted. Mr. Bean drops the shellfish from his hands]
Mr. Bean: Ah, so hot.
Danny La Rue: Thank you!
Receptionist: Ah, that was marvellous, Mr. La Rue, marvellous. They love you!
Danny La Rue: Thank you, they always do, dear. Now how about just one more encore. One more. They deserve me, the darlings!
Receptionist: OK, Matthew. Take Mr. La Rue's trunk to his car.
Mr. Bean: [clears throat] 426, please.
Receptionist: Certainly, madam.
Danny La Rue: 'Ere. That's my frock! [pulls an earring from Bean]
Mr. Bean: Ow!

Do-It-Yourself Mr. Bean [1.09][edit]

[Rupert and Hubert have put the clock forward to midnight while Bean is out of the room so they can escape his dull New Year's Eve Party]
Rupert and Hubert: Ah, Happy New Year!
Mr. Bean: Goodness me. Doesn't time fly when you're enjoying yourself? I know! (shaking hands while singing):
Mr. Bean, Rupert, and Hubert: Should auld acquaintance be forgot...
Mr. Bean: Oh! (brings Teddy, then all sing Auld Lang Syne again)
Mr. Bean: (mimicking as Teddy) Hooray, hooray!
(Rupert and Hubert yawn, say goodbye to Bean; removed partyhats but goes to another room)
Partygoers: (counting down from 10) ...3, 2, 1! Happy New Year! (singing Auld Lang Syne; Bean checks clock above fireplace and another on his cabinet)
A Partygoer: Three cheers for Rupert and Hubert!
(Audience laughs, as Bean goes back to bed.)

Mind the Baby, Mr. Bean [1.10][edit]

[Bean is playing Bingo with a mouthful of water and a goldfish]
Caller: Everyone's ready? Eyes down. The first one is on white, and it's five and seven, 57. Green, seven and four, 74. White, five and seven, 57. Yellow, one and seven, 17. Red, lucky number, number seven. Green, seven and two, 72. Blue, three and two, 32. And blue, three and five, 35. Blue, three and seven, 37. White, six-zero, white 60. Yellow, two and five, 25. White, five and four, 54. Green, seven and one, 71. Yellow, two and three, 23. Green, any way around, 99. (Bean clicks 99 on his board, forming a forward diagonal bingo)
Mr. Bean: (swallows goldfish) Bingo! (spits out the goldfish and water, landing in the sea with another fish)
Mother: It's just gone! The pram, it just went! Oh! That's my baby!

Back To School Mr. Bean [1.11][edit]

[Bean pushing another Mini car]
[He gets some soldiers to help push the car]
Mr. Bean: "I'll get in."
Mr. Bean: "I'm in!"
Mr. Bean: "Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!"
[Cut to a drill sergeant]
Drill sergeant: "Eyes front!"
[Cut to soldiers marching and halting, then the sergeant shouts unintelligible commands: first one turns the soldiers left and left foot stamp, second preparing their rifles to their right sidearm, and finally their separating their feet. The sergeant leaves and heads inside the recruitment centre on the background. Bean arrives behind the soldiers, looking at them, then coughs as he passes through them. The soldiers close their legs. Bean notices them again, then coughs once again, the soldiers separating their feet once again. Bean then gets behind a military vehicle, then coughs, the soldiers close their legs again. Cut to Bean standing near the vehicle, he says a command, similarly to the drill sergeant's, the soldiers positioning their rifles vertically close to their middle. Bean commands them again, this time the first and third of the each rows raising their right and left knees, respectively, to the laughter of the audience. Bean then commands them to raise their right hands up high, and makes them wave said hands. The drill sergeant arrives from the recruitment centre, Bean quickly hides behind the vehicle.]
Drill sergeant: "Right." [noticing the soldiers' doing Bean's pose; Bean runs behind the soldiers] "What the hell do you think you're doing?" [Cut to the entrance of the building] "Hey! Right side!" [Bean gets inside the building with the Adult Education entrance] "What do you think you're doing? What do you think you're doing? You what?"
Mr. Bean: "Boo!"
[The calligrapher is frightened, the push of his quill ruins his art.]
Art instructor: "Ah, ça, c'est formidable. But I think, là!"
[Bean arrives at the classroom]
Art instructor: "Ah, bonjour! Please, come in! Sit down, là; the fruit. Ah, inspired!"
Art instructor: "Ah, banana! Magnifique, but, I think of detail. Detail!"
Art instructor: "OK, class, please, changez, là."
[The entire class but Bean turns their sketch papers over. Bean looks at the new model (we don't see it yet), then draws one large oval on the right of his "banana", then a smaller one inside, then an even smaller one inside of the smaller one. He looks at it again, does the same on the left. He examines his own drawing, feels frustrated as he actually draws a naked woman's breasts. Cut behind the woman, we see Bean being hesitant. The instructor lets him back to his artwork. Bean tries to hide his artwork from the instructor.]
Art instructor: "Monsieur, what? Don't, don't be shy. Don't be shy! Let me look."
[Bean draws something at the bottom of his work]
Art instructor: "Ahh!"
[We see Bean actually drew a "mouth" below, to the fascination of the instructor (and the laughter and applause of the audience). She nods a few times, moves her hand around the artwork, as if feeling something.]
Art instructor: "The face, eh?" [Bean nods] "The body, où? The body?" [The instructor does some kind of body language] "The body!" [Laughter from the audience] "The breasts? You must look! Look, the beauty. Feel it, feel it, and draw, inspire."
Chemistry instructor: [The chemistry teacher and the boy who was caught in the lab explosion Bean caused march into the art room. The boy is covered in blue dust.] "Right, is he in here, then?" [The chemistry instructor takes off the boy's glasses. He shakes his head. Then the chemist and the boy see the naked model. The chemist drags the boy out of the class room.] "Out!"
Art instructor: Non, non, non, you must look! [The art instructor makes a confused face when she sees the naked model now wearing a clay bikini discretely placed on by Bean.]
Judo instructor: "OK, thanks a lot for coming, everybody. Um, before we start learning any throws, et cetera, the first thing about judo is you've just got to make sure that you can fall, OK? So, I'll check all your break-falls one by one. Let's start with you. Just step forward, that's good. OK, we start with a bow. Good. Then, just take hold, that's nice, and the throw. That's it, good one. Back with the others. Right, nice. Next one, please." "That's good. Okay, again, we start with a bow..." "..then, take hold, and the throw." "That's nice. Good." "Back with the others." "There we go." "Okay, can I have the next one, please?" "Next one, please. Yeah?" "Just step forward, then." "Yeah. Onto the mat, yeah?" "That's good." "There we are." "And the other foot, yeah?" "That's good, that's all right, now." "Okay, here we..." "Just come back onto the mat. There we go." "It's all right."
Judo instructor: "Now first the bow..." [bows in the Japanese fashion, in a 90-degree angle]
Mr. Bean: "Bow." [Bean follows suit, and the instructor bows again immediately]
Judo instructor: "There we are, the bow. All right, and then I take hold." "It's all right. Just... just trust me, just trust me." "Just calm down, all right? Just stand here." "That's it. No. No one's going to get hurt. That's it." "Good. Okay. Now..."
Mr. Bean: "So, we bow." [bows in the Japanese fashion]
Judo instructor: "Yeah, we bow." [bows immediately after Bean, laughter from the audience] "Just one big bow, then throw." [Cut to the instructor's point of view, the camera is now following the instructor's eyes] "Okay, so one nice, big, big bow and then..." [camera pans as the instructor bows, and up again, then we realizes that Bean is no longer in front of the instructor. Cut to the instructor, Bean stands up behind him, and shoves him down to the mat.]
Judo instructor: "Hey, stop it! Stop! Stop it!"
[Bean starts quacking with his hands on the lavatory door, distracting the man.]
Man in lavatory "Oi, oi! Get off! What are you doing?! Hey!" "Hold on! No, no! Oh, my God!"
Man on PA speaker: "Right... and good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the demonstration of our group's magnificent machinery, along with some examples..."
Choir: "...qui est faba."

Tee Off, Mr. Bean [1.12][edit]

Goodnight Mr. Bean [1.13][edit]

Man in ambulance 1: You get the door, John.
Man in ambulance 2: Right.
[The doors are blocked by Mr. Bean's Mini. Laughter from the audience.]
Man in ambulance 1: What's wrong? Here, give it to me.
[Scene changes to the waiting room.]
Nurse 1: Twenty-two (22).
[Bean takes the doll from the girl's hands and throws it. The girl goes with her mother to pick it up, leaving the queue. Next, two men are in front of him, Bean pinches the taller man's back and quickly pulls his hand away. The taller man thinks the person behind him (in front of Bean) did this, and pushes him.]
Taller Man: What the hell do you think you're doing? Pinching my bottom in a hospital queue?! [both leave the queue, Bean meets the receptionist, the mother and daughter is behind Bean now.]
Receptionist: Good morning, name please?
Mr. Bean: Um, Bean. (laughter from the audience)
Receptionist: And what is the problem?
[Bean whispers to the receptionist]
Receptionist: Have a ticket and take a seat please, Mr. Bean.
Nurse on P.A.: Security to the east door, please.
Nurse 1: Twenty-three (23).
[Two people stand up and walk to the main room]
Nurse 1: Twenty-four (24).
[Bean notices an old man sleeping with the ticket, he tries swapping it but...]
Nurse 1: Twenty-four?
[The old man wakes up and heads to the main room]
[Bean examines the muffled woman's ticket upside-down and reads 25. While the receptionist answers a phone call, Bean turns the number counter upside down while coughing, then returns to his seat]
Nurse 1: Fifty-two (52).
Mr. Bean: Yes! [The muffled woman holds Bean by the teapot, three other people are complaining about their tickets being skipped. Bean is still struggling]
Nurse 2: Ninety-two (92). [she appears beside the counter]
Man 3: That was quick!
Man 4: Hang on. What about me?
Nurse 1: Come back here! Somebody's turned it the wrong way up. [She turns the counter around back to its normal position] That's better, there. Twenty-six (26).
Man 5: Yes, at last. [follows Nurse 1]
[The woman lets go of Bean's teapot. Frustrated, Bean goes back to his seat]
[Many minutes later]
Nurse 1: Fifty-one (51).
[Mr. Bean is sleeping, he drops the muffled woman's ticket, the other nurse takes that ticket from the floor.]
Nurse 2: Is this anybody's?
[The muffled woman shouts, giving the nurse's attention]
Nurse 2: Oh! Not too long now. Don't you worry.
Nurse 1: Fifty-two (52).
[Bean moans as 52 is said by the nurse]
Nurse 2: Over here. [brings the muffled woman inside]
Nurse on PA: Dr Marlow, have you got your beeper on?
Nurse 2: Fifty-three (53).
Nurse on PA: Dr Marlow, have you got your beeper on? Thank you.
[Mr. Bean goes back to the waiting queue to get another ticket. In front of him are the same two men that were fighting earlier. In order to cut through the queue once again Bean pushes them both.]
Shorter Man: It's you!
Taller Man: You're risking your life, Sonny Jim!
[As the two men leave fighting once again Bean moves forward towards the receptionist. The receptionist looks up and sees a rather angry Mr. Bean.]
Receptionist: Name?
Mr. Bean: (angrily) Bean!
(laughter)
Receptionist: And what is the problem?
Mr. Bean: The problem... [He shows the receptionist the teapot stuck in his hand and then complains about waiting for a long time. Mr. Bean then starts banging the teapot on the counter.] ...now come on, do something about it!
Receptionist: Take a ticket and have a seat please.
[Mr. Bean takes a ticket, but is shocked to see that the ticket has a higher number. In frustration, he then angrily throws the ticket in the bin, and pushes it further down, but his hand becomes stuck inside the bin. Using his mouth, he takes out another ticket, and walks to his seat. In the background the shorter man is body-slamming the taller man on the floor.]
[Bean takes snapshots of a rubbish bin, then a statue of Cupid after covering the genitals with red paper from the bin. He then passes a Royal Guard, and tries to first scare him (with no reaction) and then take a picture of him. Bean moves a sundial, tries to place the camera, breaking the gnomon in the process. He styles the guard in his own fashion, such as grooming and trimming the moustache, adding tulips across his belt, a face made of paper to his hat (as well as hair made of leaves), and also placing Teddy on the bayonet. With everything arranged, Bean sets the timer on his camera]
[A few seconds later, the Guard hears a command and leaves his post but Bean goes after him. The camera shutters, the picture only sees Bean leaving.]
Mr. Bean: Oh, no! [growls]
[Bean brushes his teeth and uses a toy gun to gargle water. He tries to scratch his ear with a finger, then uses the toothbrush to clean both ears, then the moustache area]
Mr. Bean: [to the mirror] Good night.
[Bean goes to his bedroom, his teddy bear is on the bed]
Mr. Bean: Oh, Teddy! [lies on the bed, gets a comic from a cabinet] Oh, Asterix. [Bean and Teddy reads the comic, but twitches Teddy to think "it" cannot see] Just a minute, just a minute. Glasses. [Bean places the small glasses onto Teddy's eyes, then they continue reading the comic.] Oh, so beautiful. Oh, look at the time. [Bean pretends to yawn, then he snaps his fingers, making like Teddy is sleeping, and places it in a box, moving the box to under the bed. He opens the cabinet revealing a pistol and shoots the lightbulb.]
[The clock is ticking loudly, Bean places it in a drawer. A motorbike can be heard from the outside, followed by cats meowing. He takes a cup and a dog hood, now we see Bean's head like a dog on the window. He barks, scaring the cats. Now he can go back to sleep, Bean lies on his side, then with his face down. A few seconds later, he gasps for breath. Bean turns on the TV, the first channels were static, and then to a chess match. The player on black tries to make a move, slowly making Bean go to sleep. After a few seconds, a white star appears on the TV and loud music of a Bodyform commercial awakes Bean, forcing him to turn off the TV.]
Mr. Bean: Of course!
[He places a chair, then a picture of sheep beside the bed and opens the curtain. He counts them with his fingers, then with a calculator. 27 times 15.]
Mr. Bean: Ah!
[He finally goes to sleep, with the calculator still on his left hand. At the end of the credits, he tries lying on his side again, but rolls off the bed and falls on the floor.]

Hair By Mr. Bean of London [1.14][edit]

[Mr. Bean was bored to wait for barber and plays with the scissors and comb. Suddenly, door opens and a woman and a young boy comes in]
Woman: Sorry, can i just leave Jamie here with you? I mean, i just left my purse in the shop back there, so just give him a good haircut - be good Jamie, it's a terrible mess.
[Bean uses a bowl and scissors to trim the boy's sides, then an electric cutter to shave the middle, making the old man hair style.]
Jamie: Yeah, yeah, they're great!
[Bean quickly puts the boy's cap to his head to hide his style.]
Woman: All right, keep the change!
Derek: Suzie's usually here Tuesdays. [The same phone rings again] Two minutes.
Roger: (enters) Morning, Derek!
Derek: Good morning.
Roger: The usual please, Derek.
[Bean puts Roger with cover, then the man with ponytail enters inside again.]
Bord Won's: I was first. Just the split ends at the back. (Bean sprays the man's hair, and uses the mirror, but steals a picture from the board, and presents the man with the mirror with the picture.) All right, keep the change.
Derek: Oh dear, what a day!
Roger: Thanks, Derek! Very nice.
Derek: Roger? Roger!
Woman: Right, where is he?
Derek: Whoa! What... what?
Woman: Where is he? Well what on earth do you call this?! (removes Jamie's cap, revealing the artistic hairstyle Bean gave him)
Jamie: But I like it.
Woman: You don't like it.
Jamie: I do!
Woman: Shut up, Jamie. Now look, listen to me...
Derek: What are you trying to say?
Bord Won's: Oi! Where's my ponytail?
Woman: ...what I am trying to say is, my son looks like an ape! (Bord presents Derek the cut part where his hair used to be)
Derek: Don't shout, madam!
Jamie: An ape?!
Bord Won's: Have you got any idea how long it took me to grow that?
Woman: (to Bord) Excuse me, excuse me! (to her son) Shush!
Bord Won's: Nearly two and a half years, and your man chops it off in less than two minutes! Where is he?
(Bean with the Prince Charles calendar/picture is walking sideways, passing Derek and the angry customers.)
Roger: Have you seen this? (points at his hair, then bows at Bean, thinking he was Prince Charles) Sir! (Bean twirls his two fingers.) Derek, have you gone mad? (indistinct arguing)
Bord Won's: Your assistant, where is he?
Woman: Derek, whatever your name is...
(Bean, still wearing the calendar, peeks at the door and leaves)
Old man: Would you like a go? (Bean gives some coins to him) Thank you.
(Bean plays the wire, but another buzzer sounds and he returns the object back)
Old man: Another one? (Bean gives more coins to him) Thank you.
(Bean snaps the plug under the table game, then moves the object to the other side of the wire without any buzzing sounds.)
Old man: Well done, sir.
Mr. Bean: Thank you.
(The old man notices the plug and outlet cut by Bean.)
(Cut to another parlor game, this time it is called "Hit the Headmaster", a man with glasses facing a large board with a picture of a headmaster. A girl giggles as she throws sponges on the face of the headmaster. She misses three times.)
(Bean wants to play Hit the Headmaster, and gives coins to the man with another bucket of sponges and some large rings)
Man: Thank you very much.
(Bean squeezes the first sponge to prove it is wet and soft, then throws toward the headmaster, but misses. Bean snickers, then throws two more sponges, one reaching above the headmaster's face, he laughs, then throws the last sponge, but also misses. Bean looks at the bucket with no sponges, then drops the bucket. Burst of laughter from the audience as he throws cans of peas from a nearby table at the headmaster, frightening the headmaster. He also throws a cereal box. He gets two more cans of peas.)
Man: Oi, oi, oi! (Hands the can, but throws the other one to the headmaster, but misses again. Bean goes off-screen, and back, preparing to throw a chair)
Man: No! (The man takes the chair away from Bean. Bean glares at the headmaster, with little reaction from the headmaster)
Judge 2: All right, quiet please! Quiet. The obedience test.
Boy 1: Stay, stay, stay... (his dog rushes to him)

The Best Bits of Mr. Bean [1.15][edit]

[Near the end of the episode, Bean discovers from his attic window that the rain has stopped, just as he finds a new umbrella in his attic]
Mr. Bean: It's stopped!

Cast[edit]

Other One-off Characters: Richard Briers, Angus Deayton, Nick Hancock, Caroline Quentin, Danny La Rue, David Schneider and Richard Wilson.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:
Retrieved from "https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Mr._Bean&oldid=3471856"