American Pie Presents: Band Camp
From Wikiquote
American Pie Presents: Band Camp is a 2005 direct-to-video sequel to the original American Pie films.
- Directed by Steve Rash. Written by Adam Herz and Brad Riddell.
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Contents |
[edit] Dialogue
(first lines)
- Oz's brother: Hey, Stifler, how come Steve's got all the talent in your family?
- Stifler: Bite me, fuck face.
- Kevin's brother: Come on, man, you're missing it.
- Stifler: I've seen it a million times, you fuckin ass booger.
- Oz's brother: Matt, Steve is like a film making genius. A true American hero.
- Kevin's brother: The Tarantino of titties.
- Oz's brother: Yeah, there's just no way you come be this good.
- Stifler: Hey, look, I'm gonna prove to Steve that i'm up to the standards of the Stiffmeister Productions. Once Steve see's my directing talents, lil bro's joining the family business!
- Oz's brother: Is that what he said, so he finally got back to you?
- Stifler: No, but he left me another message though . . .
- Jimmy: Macro's gonna fuck your ass up fool!
- Matt Stifler What the fuck's a Macro?
- Oscar: The M.A.C.R.O., Morale and Conflict Resolution Officer. I heard this one time, this kid went into that office, a baritone, and came out a soprano!
- Jimmy: Clairinet up the ass backwards yo!
- Matt Stifler: Have a great day, fucko!
- Jimmy: Check it, this one time at band camp, I fucked an oboe!
- Jimmy: (Sees Matt masturbating with an oboe) Damn gangsta, I was just fucking with you dawg!
- Matt Stifler: (To Ernie) You filthy little cyber-fucker!
- Brandon Vandecamp: Parting is such sweet sorrow, when you're a loser!
- Ernie Kaplowitz: Are you really Scottish?
- Matt Stifler: Fuck no! My mom made me learn an instrument; that's the most annoying one I could think of.
- Matt Stifler: I'm telling you, trust the Stifmiester. "Miester" means "Master" in German.
- Ernie Kaplowitz: Get her drunk, that's the secret of the ages? That's step two?
- Matt Stifler: Well, actually it's step four, but you don't have the balls for two, or the toungue for three.
- Ernie Kaplowitz: (Mumbles while walking away) I have balls.
- Matt Stifler: (Yelling after Ernie) Come back, You haven't heard step five yet!
- Matt Stifler: I've been fucking poisoned!
- Matt Stifler: (To Brandon) How's that taste, Vande-cock? Mmmm... good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah, it's a CUM-pletely new formula! 100% Stiffy Juice! SPF 69!
- Ernie Kaplowitz: I really want to work for NASA.
- Matt Stifler: National Anal Sex Association?
- Ernie Kaplowitz: No it's Space Assoc... Wait, there's an Anal Sex Association?
- Matt Stifler: Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro. Wait, there's a Space Association?
[edit] Taglines
- This One Time at Band Camp…
[edit] Cast
- Tad Hilgenbrink — Matt Stifler
- Arielle Kebbel — Elyse
- Eugene Levy — Jim's Dad/the MACRO
- Jason Earles — Ernie Kaplowitz
- Matt Barr — Brandon Vanderkamp
- Jun Hee Lee — Jimmy Chong
- Crystle Lightning — Chloe
- Lauren C. Mayhew — Arrianna
- Angela Little — Sheree
- Rachel Veltri — Dani
- Chris Owen — Chuck Sherman
