Beetlejuice

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Beetlejuice is a 1988 comedy film about two recently-deceased ghosts who enlist the help of a "bio-exorcist," Beetlejuice, to help remove a new family from their old house.

Directed by Tim Burton. Written by Michael McDowell, Warren Skaaren and Larry Wilson.
In This House... If You've Seen One Ghost... You Haven't Seen Them All. taglines

Contents

Beetlejuice [edit]

  • Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.
  • Hey, these aren't my rules! Come to think of it, I don't have any rules!
  • I'm the ghost with the most, babe.
  • YOU BUNCHA LOSERS!!! YOU'RE WORKING WITH A PROFESSIONAL HERE!!! [kicks over a tree; quietly observes it for a moment] NICE MODEL!!!
  • And that, is why I won't do two shows a night anymore babe, I won't.
  • We come for your daughter, Chuck.
  • Nobody says the "B" word.
  • It's show time.
  • I've seen "The Exorcist" about 167 times, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY! NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?! You think I'm qualified?
  • I'll eat anything you want me to eat, I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow, so come on down and I'll...Chew on a dog! (howls)

Lydia [edit]

  • [About her stepmother, Delia] She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.
  • My whole life is a dark room. [Slowly, for effect] One. Big. Dark. Room.

Delia [edit]

  • I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I will take you with me!

Otho [edit]

  • Don't mind her. She's still upset that someone dropped a house on her sister.

Dialogue [edit]

Delia: I can't believe we're eating Cantonese. Is there no Szechuan up here?
Lydia: I plan to have a stroke from the amount of MSG that's in this food.
Delia: This is our first meal in this house, so why don't we all do our little private parts to make it a pleasant one.
Charles: Don't bait your mother, Pumpkin. As soon as we get settled, we'll build you a darkroom in the basement.
Lydia: My whole life is a darkroom. One... big... dark... room.
Delia: So you were miserable in the city, and now you're going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved.
Adam: What are your qualifications?
Betelgeuse: [refined voice] Ah, well... I attended Julliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. [getting progressively more demented] I've seen The Exorcist about 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy! Now what do you think?! You think I'm "qualified"?
Adam: No, what I meant is, can you be scary?
Betelgeuse: Whaddaya think of this?
(shows a hideous face to the Maitlands that only shows several tentacles from the sides to audience; both Adam and Barbara scream)
Betelgeuse: [back to normal] You like it?
Dumb Football Player #1: Coach? Coach, where's the men's room?
Juno: I'm not your coach! He survived.
Dumb Football Player #2: Wait, Coach. Let me get something straight. What's our curfew around here?
Juno: Will you get out of here?!? Go on, get downstairs! "Men's room" - are you kidding? Can't you read signs?
[they come back into the office later]
Dumbest Football Player: Coach?
Juno: What?
Dumbest Football Player: I don't think we survived that crash.
Juno: How did you guess?

Taglines [edit]

  • In This House... If You've Seen One Ghost... You Haven't Seen Them All.

Cast [edit]

External Links [edit]

Wikipedia
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