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Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee
- [to a mugger with a knife] That's not a knife. [draws a large Bowie knife] That's a knife.
- [to a New York driver] Get on the right side of the road you pelican!
- No wonder you have so many accidents around here, the steering wheels on the butt cheek of the car!
- [sings in the bathtub] If I give my heart to you... [pause] then I'll have none and you'll have two.
- Up North in the Never-Never, where the land is harsh and bare, lives a mighty hunter named Mick Dundee who can dance like Fred Astaire.
- Well, you see, Aborigines don't own the land.They belong to it. It's like their mother. See those rocks? Been standing there for 600 million years. Still be there when you and I are gone. So arguing over who owns them is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog they live on.
- It's for washing your backside, right?
- [Dundee is threatened by a mugger with a hamburger ]
Sue Charlton: Mick, give him your wallet.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: What for?
Sue Charlton: He's got a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [chuckling] That's not a knife. [draws a large Bowie knife] That's a knife.
[Dundee slashes the teen mugger's jacket. He and his friends run away]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Just kids having fun. You alright?
Sue Charlton: I'm always all right when I'm with you Dundee.
- Richard Mason: New York City, Mr. Dundee. Home to seven million people.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: That's incredible. Imagine seven million people all wanting to live together. Yeah, New York must be the friendliest place on earth.
- Neville Bell: Oh no, you can't take my photograph.
Sue Charlton: Oh, I'm sorry, you believe it will take your spirit away.
Neville Bell: No, you got lens-cap on it.
- Sue Charlton: That croc would have eaten me alive.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Oh well, I wouldn't hold that against him. [The] thought crossed my mind once or twice.
- Paul Hogan: Michael J. 'Crocodile' Dundee
- Linda Kozlowski: Sue Charlton
- John Meillon: Walter Reilly
- David Gulpilil: Neville Bell
- Steve Rackman: Donk
- Gerry Skilton: Nugget
- Terry Gill: Duffy
- Peter Turnbull: Trevor
- Christine Totos: Rosita
- Graham 'Grace' Walker: Angelo
- Mark Blum: Richard Mason
- Michael Lombard: Sam Charlton
- Caitlin Clarke: Simone