Jumping Ships (2009) 
- There is a reason why you only see those adventurous types marching off into crocodile infested waters and uncharted jungles up the Congo. Marching into somewhere like Newcastle city centre on a Saturday night is too damn wild, that’s why. I became overwhelmed with a desire to go to Sunderland. And it’s not very often you hear someone say that.
- The criminal clearly wasn't expecting to find me there. He looked back at me with an expression of sheer balaclava written all over his face.
The Story Book (2010) 
- A writer who denies the need for structure in his work is like a squash player who claims his brilliance removes the need for a wall.
- Stories are the architects of the human mind.
- In the distinctly human sense of our existence, people are made of language.
- The writer doesn’t push story into us, he withholds information in order that we draw his story out of ourselves.
- On summer evenings, before bathtime, my dad used to pick me up by the ankles and swing me round and round! Then one arm and one leg! Like an aeroplane - Wheeeee! We trashed that bathroom.
- Failure in any given subject is the first qualification towards becoming a teacher.