Rufus T. Firefly 
- I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you came home.
- Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail out of it.
- Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.
- Let me out of here, or throw me a magazine!
- I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school
- Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot. But don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
- Mrs. Teasdale: As chairwoman of the reception committee, I extend the good wishes of every man, woman and child of Freedonia.
- Rufus T Firefly: Never mind that stuff, take a card. [Fans out a deck of playing cards]
- Mrs. Teasdale: [Picks one from the fan] Card? What do I do with the card?
- Firefly: You can keep it. I got fifty one left! Now, what were you saying?
- Mrs. Teasdale: As chairwoman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms.
- Firefly: Is that so? How late do you stay open?
- Mrs. Teasdale: I've sponsored your appointment because I feel you are the most able statesman in all Freedonia.
- Firefly: Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You'd better beat it; I hear they're gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
- Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
- Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
- Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.
- Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
- Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away.
- Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
- Firefly: Oh, I see. Then, it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
- Mrs. Teasdale: He left me his entire fortune.
- Firefly: Is that so? Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you! [jumps into her arms]
- Mrs. Teasdale: Oh, your Excellency!
- Firefly: You're not so bad yourself.
- Mrs. Teasdale: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.
- Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
- Trentino: Have you been trailing Firefly?
- Chicolini: Have we been trailing Firefly? Why, my partner he's got a nose just like a bloodhound!
- Trentino: Oh really?
- Chicolini: Yes, and the rest of his face don't look so good either.
- Firefly: And now members of the cabinet, we'll take up old business.
- Cabinet Member: I wish to discuss the tariff.
- Firefly: Sit down, that's new business. [pause] No old business? Very well, we'll take up new business.
- Cabinet Member: Now about the tariff.
- Firefly: Too late, that's old business already.
- Another Cabinet Member: Gentlemen, gentlemen. Enough of this. How about taking up the tax?
- Firefly: How about taking up the carpet?
- Member: I still insist we take up the tax!
- Firefly: [to his secretary] He's right—you've got to take up the tacks before you take up the carpet.
- Member: I give all my time and energy to my duties, and what do I get?
- Firefly: You get awfully tiresome after a while.
- Member: Sir, you try my patience.
- Firefly: I don't mind if I do. You must come over and try mine some time.
- Member: That's the last straw: I resign. I wash my hands of the whole business.
- Firefly: Good idea. You can wash your neck too.
- Lemonade Stall Owner: I'll teach you to kick me!
- Chicolini: You don't have to teach me—I know how! [kicks him]
- Vera: Oh, for heaven's sake, don't make a sound. If you found, you lost.
- Chicolini: Oh, you crazy. How can I be lost if I'm found?
- Person: Something must be done. War would meant a prohibitive increase in our taxes.
- Chicolini: Hey, I've got an uncle that lives in Texas.
- Person: No, I'm talking about taxes. Money. Dollars.
- Chicolini: Dallas. That's where my uncle lives. Dallas, Texas.
- Chicolini: I wouldn't go out there unless I had one of those big iron things that go up and down. What do you call those things?
- Firefly: Tanks.
- Chicolini: You're welcome.
- Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly
- Harpo Marx - Pinky (pink wig appeared blonde in black-and-white film)
- Chico Marx - Chicolini
- Zeppo Marx - Lt. Bob Roland
- Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Gloria Teasdale
- Raquel Torres - Vera Marcal
- Louis Calhern - Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania
- Edmund Breese - Zander
- Leonid Kinskey - Sylvanian Agitator
- Charles Middleton - Prosecutor
- Edgar Kennedy - Lemonade Vendor
Usage in Slang 
- A term for something easily accomplished, equivalent to "a piece of cake."