Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy

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Contents

[edit] Season 1

[edit] The Ed-Touchables

[Edd hears the doorbell, but when he goes over to answer the door, there's no-one about. This happens multiple times]
Edd [again, answering the door]: Now, please!
[A bucket of water lands on Edd's head, causing him to go upstairs to get himself cleaned up. The doorbell goes off again and Edd answers the door, only to be hit by a fish. Again, Edd cleans himself up and goes over to answer the door. Fortunately, Eddy is already there]
Eddy: Hey, Edd. What took you so long?
Edd: Oh, hello, Eddy. Was that you ringing my doorbell.
Eddy: Who, me? Na!
[Using a squirt gun, Eddy squirts water on top of Plank, making Jonny desperate for the bathtroom]
Jonny: OK, I've stolen everybody's stuff! now let me go, I gotta go to the bathroom!
Eddy: You heard him, boys! Case closed!

[Jonny's tied on a truck-tire while the Eds count their money]

Eddy: Hey guys! What's big, round, and costs a nickel?
Ed and Edd: Jawbreakers!
Eddy: And away we g--
[Sarah and Jimmy get in his way]
Sarah: Now just a rotten minute! I found my dolly, under my bed!
Jimmy: It's true, and here she is, see?
[Edd interrupts]
Edd: Excuse me, Eddy. Upon a further inspection of my person, I seem to have come across [holds up a magnifying glass] my magnifying glass!
[Despite all this, both Ed and Edd are still up for having jawbreakers. Meanwhile, Sarah and Jimmy have the truck-tire that Jonny's still stuck in on top of a hill]
Sarah: Eddy think he's so smart! [to Jonny] We know you didn't do it, Jonny. [Jonny starts to moan] Don't worry, Jonny. This won't hurt a bit. [pushes Jonny down the hill]
(The Eds are slurping jawbreakers)
Eddy: This is good.

[edit] Nagged To Ed

[The Eds are in the rainforest, only to hear mysterious, yet haunting voices]
Kankers [Off-screen]: Ed, Edd and Eddy, sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Edd: Hmm, Hub Cap Digest. [opens book] ...This book has no print. These pages are blank!!

Ed: [stuck to a giant spider web] Help me, guys!! I don't want the fluids drained from my body!!

[edit] Over Your Ed

Eddy: Ladies and gentlemen...
Ed [excited]: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!
Eddy: Come buy our delicious...
Ed: COME BUY OUR DECIDUOUS... [normal voice] Oh.
Eddy: Energy drink.
Ed: Hello!!
Ed: Is sitting naked in a wagon cool?
Eddy: No, skunk-pits, it isn't.
[Eddy takes Ed and Edd to his bedroom closet]
Eddy: Welcome to my closet of dreams!

[edit] Pop Goes the Ed

[The Eds are spying on a bee hive]
Eddy: Okay, boys. It's time for the welcome wagon to pay a visit.
[The Eds are crawling on sand as if they're stranded in a desert]
Eddy: W-W-W-W-Water! [sand comes out of his mouth]
Edd: H2O, please.
Ed: Gravy.
Eddy: I'm frying. [All three Eds collapse] The fat lady just sang, boys.
Ed: My life is flashing before my eyes.
Eddy: What life?
Eddy: Hey Kev! Where are you going?
Kevin: To Nazz's Sprinkler Party, stupid!
Eddy [to himself]: Sprinkler party?
[Eddy gives off a smile]
Kevin: You're not invited!
[Eddy is showing Ed and Edd a box containing three swimsuits]
Edd: My word. They look like napkins.
Ed: Cool box, Eddy.
Sarah: Get your big butt off the sprinkler!
[Ed sprinkles the water in Sarah's face]
Sarah: Oooh, you little!
[People are getting ready to eat at the table]
Jimmy: What is that?
Rolf: Stuffed pig's head. A favorite in my country.
Jimmy: Well, I brought a quiche, [shows it closer to Rolf] Mmmmm, Yummy!
Rolf: It's the food of the-- [he babbles with his mouth using his finger] The party is cursed!!
[Jimmy starts crying]
Sarah: Don't worry, Jimmy. I like quiche.
[The Eds are hiding in the pool after their swimsuits snap off]
Eddy: Quick! Act natural.
[The Eds splash in the pool, then Sarah and Jimmy arrive]
Sarah: Quit hogging the pool! It's our turn!
Eddy: No it isn't!
Sarah: Yes it is!
Ed: We are not moving.
Sarah: Ed! Get lost!
Eddy: Hit the road! [splashes at Sarah and Jimmy] Put an egg in your shoe and beat it!
Jimmy: Come on, Sarah. Let's leave these guys alone.
Edd: Well, that was close.
[Nazz then comes over]
Nazz: Hi there. You boys look cool. Mind if I join you?
Eddy: Er, Ed's got three nipples like that bad guy in James Bond.
Nazz: *laughter* You're funny.
[Nazz walks away]
Ed: What third nipple? Show me where it is.
Eddy [Whilst pointing to one of Ed's nipples]: It's right here!
Edd [points to the cake]: Look.
[A large cake is taken over to the table, and Ed attempts to go over and get some]
Eddy: [whilst dragging Ed back into the pool] Get down! Are you nuts?!

[edit] Sir Ed-a-Lot

[Eddy is seen washing a rather cool-looking car. Jonny walks by]
Eddy: Hey, Jonny boy!
Jonny: Hi, Eddy. Nice car.
[Rolf stops by]
Rolf: Hello, Eddy. May we shop for meat in your fancy car?
Eddy: Keep dreamin', Rolf.
[Rolf walks away whilst Nazz and Kevin stop to notice the car]
Eddy [Already inside the car]: Hi, Nazz.
Nazz: Wow, Eddy! Cool car!
Kevin: Hey dork! Whose car is this, twerp?!
[Eddy cranks up the volume on the car radio, causing both Nazz and Kevin to run away]
Eddy: Hey!
Sarah: As I was saying, I am the queen! [smacks the table]
Ed: And we are your servients.
Eddy [talking about Sarah]: Next thing you know she'll want a throne!
[Sarah is then seen, sat on a tower of chairs, obviously representing a throne]
Eddy: A toast to my big mouth!
[Sarah blames Eddy for their loss in the horse race to Ed and Jimmy]
Sarah: You lost, horsey!! [tapping at Eddy's head] Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Eddy [getting up] This stinks!
Sarah: To the dungeon with him!
[Jimmy laughs at Eddy's predicament]
Eddy [sarcastically]: The dungeon, oh no, I'm so scared!
[Eddy breaks into laughter whilst Sarah pulls a leaver]
Sarah: Bye-bye.
[A "cage" is seen dropping on top of Eddy]
Eddy: Ed, get me out! Ed! Double D!
Sarah: Bring me my fool!
Ed: Ok, sister.
Eddy: Spoiled brat.
Ed: Please, Eddy, play along. (releases the cage) Here's the fool!
Eddy: (pointing) No way! (Ed puts a fool's hat on Eddy)
Ed: Eddy's a great fool, (hugs Eddy) arentcha Eddy?
Eddy: I said no way!
Sarah: Bad baby sitter! (pointing) I'm telling mom you left me all alone!
Ed: But I won't get paid! (covers his head)
Eddy: Did you say 'paid'? You're getting paid? I'm with ya, pal!
(Edd sounds the trumpet)
[Eddy tries to entertain Sarah and Jimmy as a jester. He tells a joke to his puppet named Eddo]
Eddy: Hey, Eddo. What's a ghost's favorite lunch meat? [As Eddo] Boo-loney!
[Eddy turns to Ed for advice]
Eddy [whispering]: She has no taste! I used all my best stuff!
Ed: Don't give up now, Eddy. (He throws Eddy)
Sarah: Well?
(Eddy gets back up, takes out a magician's hat and pulls out Edd; Jimmy throws a pie at him)
Ed: Here, Eddy. Juggle this stuff, I'll get more. (Hands Eddy a lot of items)
Eddy: More?!

[edit] A Pinch To Grow an Ed

[Edd shows Eddy his new device in growing tall]
Edd: Behold, walking braces! You'll become a giant among the low-ground!
Eddy: (shoves them off his face) Do I look like a clown?
Ed: (lifts him up) C'mon, Eddy. Put 'em on!
Eddy: Put me down, I don't wanna wear your stupid boots!
Edd: But, Eddy, they'll make you taller.
Eddy: (plainly convinced) Taller? (Ed shoves the boots on Eddy's feet)

[edit] Read All About Ed

[Eddy is rudely awaken by Rolf, who is mowing his lawn with a tractor]
Rolf [misunderstood]: Good morning, Ed-boy. Nice haircut.
[Eddy continues to rant at Rolf]
[Eddy decides to sleep on the pavement. Edd walks by, who is doing a newspaper round]
Edd: Good morning, Eddy! Eddy?
Eddy [just waking up]: Get outta my room, Double-D.
Edd: I'm outside, Eddy. I've got a paper round.
[Ed picks up Eddy's bed from the pile of newspapers]
Ed: Heavy ink, I think! [laughter]
[Ed malfunctions the machine by throwing the bed into it]
Edd: Oh dear!
Eddy: My bed!
Ed: It's too early for bed. [Ed looks down on the machine] Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
[The rain has just stopped]
Edd: Summer rains, you can never predict them. [The rain comes back again, then stops whilst the Eds continue to collect the papers] Summer rains, you can never... [The rain kicks in again] predict them. [The rain stops again] Summer rains...
Eddy: Double D!
[A fresh batch of papers drops on top of the Eds]
Ed: Hey look, a horoscope! [reading the newspaper] "New enterprise fails to meet expectations." What's that mean?

[edit] Quick Shot Ed

[Jonny is in the park reading a book to Plank]
Jonny: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a ... [startled] oh my!
Eddy: Smile!
Eddy: Ahhhh! Plank's gone mad!
Ed and Edd: Ya-a-ah! Plank's gone mad! Aaah!
[The Eds attempt to take a photo of Nazz whilst she's doing an aerobic workout]
Edd: Some animals put on a display to attract the attention of a suitable mate.
Ed [looking though the window]: Ooh. Wow. TV!!
Eddy: Whoa! [Eddy attempts to take the photo, but loses balance] Will you guys hold still?
[The tree branch that the Eds are stood on breaks, causing them to fall. During their fall, Eddy accidentally takes a photo of himself]
The Eds: Ar-r-r-r-r-r-gh!!
[Nazz hears the crash, but doesn't see anyone. The Eds are left lying on the ground, with a photo coming out of Eddy's mouth]

[edit] An Ed Too Many

[The Eds are looking for a four-leaved clover]
Ed: 1, 2, 3...no. [picks up another clover] 1, 2... [Ed is suddenly distracted by a caterpillar that's slithering on his hand] Hello.
[Edd looks at his belly, indicating that he's hungry]
Ed': I'm hungry.
Eddy: Lets go to my place and make some pizza.
Edd: I'll make the sauce.
Ed: I'll get in the way and make a big mess.
Eddy: Ed, stop eating all the cheese!
Ed [with mouth full]: Cheese, Swiss.
Eddy: Pepperoni, Italian. [gives Ed a cheese grater]
Ed: Slicer, aluminum.
[Eddy feels as though he's not getting any good luck from his four-leaved clover. Jonny and Plank stumble upon it]
Jonny: Look, Plank a four-leaved clover. [stumbles upon a $20 bill] Whoa! Look, Plank! A $20 bill!
[Eddy notices Jonny's find]
Eddy: Wait! That's our luck.
Edd: That's always our luck.
[They soon hear Ed's belly rumbling again]
Ed: I'm hungry.

[edit] Ed-n-Seek

[The kids discuss with each other about the Eds' involvement in Hide-n-Seek]
Jimmy [to the Eds]: Alright. You can play.
The Eds: YEAHH!!!
[The Eds jump up in happiness]
Kevin: But you have to be it.
[The Eds stop in mid-air]
Eddy: Hmm. Piece of cake.
[The Eds start counting at the home base, which is in the form of a tree]
Ed: 1, 2, got some glue. [the kids run off to hide] 3, 4, at this store. 5, 6, it really stinks.
Eddy: ...74, 75, 100. Ready or not! Here we come! [To himself] I know exactly where to look...
The Kids: HOME FREE!!
[The Eds turn around to see that the kids have already made it back to home base]
Sarah: Guess you're it again!

[The Eds have the opportunity to hide in a game of Hide-n-Seek. Eddy is heading over to his hiding spot with some food]

Jimmy: ...81, 82, 83...
Eddy: ...24, 25, 26...
Jimmy: ...27, 28, 29...
[Eddy gets into a metallic bush, which is the Eds' hiding spot]
Eddy: Ha! This is the best hiding spot!
Ed [With his mouth full]: We can stay here forever.
Edd: At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes.
[The Eds run back to home base tree, but due to the fact that it's stood in a cart, they push it into distance]
The Eds: HOME FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
[The tree crashes into various obstacles]
Ed [Lifting up the tree]: Home free.
[Ed drops the tree on top of himself, Edd and Eddy]
Ed [Lifting up the tree]: We win.
[Again, Ed drops the tree on top of himself, Edd and Eddy]
Ed [Lifting up the tree]: You're it.
[Ed drops the tree on top of himself, Edd and Eddy a third time]

[edit] Look Into My Eds

Ed: Look into the circley thing!
Rolf: You crazy?!
Ed [turning to Eddy]: It's not working, Eddy!
Eddy: Spin it, bean dip!
Ed: Thanks, Eddy!

[edit] Tag Yer Ed

[Kevin's football hits Edd]
Kevin: Hey, dork! Throw it over!
Edd: Certainly, Kevin! Here it comes! [Weak throw]
Kevin [laughter] You throw like a two-year-old!
Rolf: Ya, and two-year-olds aren't even good at stuffing sausages!

[edit] Dawn Of The Eds

Eddy: We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks.
Edd: Ahh... Actually, Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth.
Eddy: Ah, you don't know what you're talking about.
Ed: [reading the movie poster of "Robot Rebel Ranch"] Marooned on a distant planet! Visitors in the void! No escape!! [sees an "Adults Only" stamp on the bottom right hand corner, screams, and covers it with his right hand] It's not fair! If only I were older...
Edd: Don't worry, Ed. We'll see it on TV in a year.
Ed: Yeah... With all the good stuff cut out!
Eddy: Don't sweat it boys, Where there's a will, there's a scam.
Ed: Whoa, this is the coolest movie!
Eddy: Since I'm the most mature looking, I'll go in first! Double D can be my wife!
Edd: Uhh, Ed's taller. I think he should.
Ed: Come on, come on! Not much farther now.
Eddy: You said that an hour ago, Ed!
[Ed sees that the Kankers have Kevin tied up onto a large tire]
Ed: Stay back! Hideous life sucking aliens have captured a fellow space outlaw. Which of the three brave explorers will take the risk to save him? I will save him! Full speed ahead!
Edd/Eddy: Stop Ed! (they fall of the hill)
May: My turn!
Eddy: Hey, is this thing ready yet?
Edd: Well.. Actually, Eddy, since it's just a prototype and still in need of...
[Eddy gets on space rocket Edd made]
Edd: Eddy!
Eddy: There's only one seat in this thing! Why'd you just put one seat, Double D?
Edd: Well, I told you this is the prototype. When this is properly tested, then I'll build the real one.
Eddy: Yeah, whatever. Let's go, Double D. Lift-off!
Edd: Well, Eddy, I still need to...
Eddy: Double D, fire the rocket!
Edd: [sighs] Fine, but you... ah... you'd better wear this.
[Puts pan on Eddy's head]
Eddy: Oh, yeah.
Edd: [sighs] Three, two, one, ignition!
Eddy: Ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a-a-a-a-a!!
[Eddy goes flying on the rocket but it dissolves in the air and Eddy starts falling down]
Edd: Oh! Better test the parachute [presses a button on a remote. Eddy's seat spawns a parachute]. well, at least that worked.
[drops the remote on the ground, but lands face down, causing the button to be pressed again; the parachute then falls off and Eddy falls on Edd]
Eddy: Hey, Double D! The rocket needs work!
Edd: It's a prototype!
Ed: The robots are coming, the robots are coming!

[edit] Vert-Ed-Go

[The Eds are attempting to make a clubhouse]
Kevin: Hey, dorks, get outta my backyard!
Ed: Weird, Kevin already has a clubhouse here.
Eddy: Shut up, Ed.
Edd: What's happening to Ed?
[Ed is seen getting attacked by birds]
Ed: Guys, help me! They're trying to get-oww, my snack! Oww! Here, Eddy! Catch!
[Ed throws the snack at Eddy but it hits Eddy's face and he doesn't catch it]
Eddy [sarcastically]: Good shot, Ed.
[the birds then attack Edd and Eddy]
Ed: Hey, guys! I may have already won ten thousand dollars!
[Eddy hits tree with a hammer]
Edd: Eddy, stop! Trees have feelings! What are you doing?!
Eddy: [throws the hammer in the air] Building a clubhouse. [the hammer lands on his head]
Jonny: Hello, Eddy!
Eddy: Not now, Jonny! I'm thinking.
Jonny: About the tree?
Eddy: Cut it out Plank. [Eddy has an idea] Plank! Wood!
[Ed gets hit with Plank and falls off, Eddy runs after]
Eddy: Know where we could find more wood, Jonny Boy?
Jonny: Plank knows! He sees things.
Ed: The maple has landed!
Edd: I need help!
Eddy: Ok, here comes Mr. Muscle.
[Eddy puts helmet on Ed]
Eddy: Put this on. It'll protect your head, for what I don't know.
Eddy: Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?
Ed: For protection.
[Eddy attempts to get the helmet off Ed's butt]
Eddy: It's meant for your head.
Ed: It's my butt!
Eddy: It's not safe!
Ed: Eddy, stop!
Eddy:It's not meant--
Ed and Eddy: Ahh! [both fall down]
Ed: Wake up, Eddy! Stop being unconscious now.
[Ed slaps Eddy out of unconsciousness]
Eddy: Ed! Ed, I'm awake!

[edit] Who, What, Where, Ed

Ed [ringing doorbell]: Can Eddy come out to play?
Eddy: I'm right here, Ed.
Ed: Hi, Eddy!

[Sarah and Nazz playing badminton, and Eddy grabs onto Sarah's racket]

Sarah: Hey!
Eddy: Give me your racket, Sarah!
Sarah: My serve! [uses Eddy as a ball and Eddy hits the net, then bounces back, Sarah steps out of the way, and Eddy breaks through a fence]
Sarah: Don't ever touch my racket!
Ed: But Sarah, we need it to trade for a chicken, please.
Sarah: I'll trade you for a giant teddy bear.
Eddy: When will it end?
Ed: Back to Jimmy! (drags Edd and Eddy off)

[edit] Keeping Up With The Eds

[Eddy is waiting to ride Rolf's goat, Victor, in an attempt to mow all of the lawns in the cul-de-sac]

Eddy: Quit stalling, goat!

[edit] Fool On the Ed

[Due to the El Mango stink bomb getting wedged in the garage doorway, it explodes, sending the stench all over the cul-de-sac]
Edd: I CAN'T BREATHE!!
[The kids smell what was from the stink bomb, and immediately run away, except for the Eds]
Ed: Mmm. Something smells good.
Edd [Holding his nose]: It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence...
Eddy [dazed]: Yes! I stink, therefore I am!
[Eddy passes out whilst Ed continues to take a whiff of the stink bomb's contents]

[edit] A Boy and His Ed

[The Eds are doing a toll-bridge scam. However, the water they're using for their moat happens to be from Sarah and Jimmy's pool]
Jimmy [noticing the water decreasing]: Sarah. I think we sprung a leak.
Sarah [angrilly]: ED!!
[Ed hears Sarah]
Ed: That sounded like Sarah.
Eddy: Nah, it was a truck backfiring.
Edd: Look, its working!
(the pit starts to get water)
Eddy: See, everyone will have to cross our Toll Moat to get to the lane. Kinda brings tears on your eyes.
Ed [opening the gate]: The door works!
[Ed falls into the moat]
Eddy: Hey, Ed! Your sponge brain'll soak up all the water!
Edd [After Kevin walks away with the box]: I think Kevin was really gonna give us something, Eddy.
Eddy: Yeah, lip!
Jonny: (with a jawbreaker on his mouth) Aren't these jawbreakers good, Plank? (about to fall, falls backwards)
Ed: (Getting up) I'm a croco...(door smacks him in the head)
Ed: If only I had brought my anti-gravity de-spackleizer to repixel the hot-and-cold tumbler on that lock!
Edd: [Confused] Um... Earth to Ed?
Eddy: What are we gonna do?
Edd: I suppose if we learned more about Kevin, he'd be more than happy to share his jawbreakers.
Eddy: Be Kevin's friends? We have a better chance of Ed growing a chin!
Ed: I wish I had four stomachs!
[Edd holds a class in his garage, with his students being Ed and Eddy]
Edd: Good day, class. Our subject for today is Kevin. Kevin is a young man full of confidence, and a garage full of jawbreakers, if you look over here you will see the evolution of the Kevin is... (voices fades off)
[In an effort to avoid boredom, Eddy throws scrunched-up pieces of paper at Ed, who responds by scrunching up a book and throwing it at Eddy. Ed is then caught laughing by Edd]
Edd: ED! I seem to be boring you. Why don't you tell us about Kevin.
Eddy: Yeah, Ed. Tell us.
[Ed ponders about Kevin]
Edd: Just as I thought. May I continue?
Ed: Ooh, I have a question, Double-D!
Edd: Yes, Ed?
Ed: Is it nap time?
Edd: I'm afraid we have much to discuss. You'll have to wait until after class.
Ed: Um...for what?
Eddy: FORGET THIS!! We're wasting time! Why don't we just go take the jawbreakers?
Edd: I'm very Disapointed in your plans, Eddy. However, stealing has dire consequences.
[Edd points toward a picture of Eddy in jail bars on the blackboard]
[Eddy shoots a replica of Kevin with chewed-up pieces of paper]
Eddy [to Ed]: Not bad, huh, bur-head!
[Ed attempts to do the same by chewing up a book, and shooting it out of a straw. However, he sees something large coming out of his straw]
Ed: Oh no! My brain came out!!
Eddy: That's too big to be your brain.
Edd: Can I resume the lesson? Now, what's the first thing you notice about Kevin, here?
Eddy: His chin is almost as big as yours?
Edd [Softly]: Yeah, well... um... [Edd tries to give a clue by bringing his t-shirt up to chin level]
Eddy: Those three stupid hairs on his head?
Edd: No, Eddy! His clothes, his clothes!
Edd: [the Eds are covered in dust] Look at me, I'm filthy.
Ed: Did Kevin got our Jawbreakers?
Eddy: [to Kevin] Hey, Kevin. It's just a slight problem. We'll have it cleaned up in a jiffey.
Kevin: I'LL CLEAN YOU! DOOORRRKS!!!!
Kevin: Hey, Come back, pals! (Already off-range) Hey,slow down , buddies, all friends, AMIGOOOOOOEEEESSS!!!
[The Eds are in the lane, after Kevin gave them chase for destroying his house during a chimney sweeping job]
Eddy: That was a total waste of time!!
Edd: Perhaps if we apologize to Kev...
Eddy [interrupting Edd]: Forget it!! it's time, we put matters into my hands.
[Eddy removes his cap and walks off]
Ed [to Edd]: Can I keep this wig?
[The Eds are tunnelling their way into Kevin's garage]
Ed: Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole!
Edd: According to my calculations, we are directly beneath the boxes of mouth-watering candied spheres.
Eddy: You heard him, Ed. Go, baby, go!
Ed: Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! [The Eds make it into what they think is the garage] Kevin's got a prety fancy garage.
Edd: Must be a built-in car wash.
[Upon noticing the shower head on the wall, they realise that they're in Kevin's bathroom. What's more, they're in his bath as well]
Kevin: What are you dorks doing here?!

[edit] Laugh, Ed, Laugh

Eddy [whilst taking all the acorns and peanuts]: Suckers!
Edd: Hey! Drop those nuts!
[Eddy puts all the nuts in his mouth]
[Eddy is locked into a padded shed and presented a large amount of fake money]
Eddy [whilst swimming in the fake money]: Money! Dinero! Cash! [Eddy is back to normal, showing the money to Ed and Edd] We'll buy a truck load of jawbreakers!
Ed: What do you mean?
Eddy: What do you mean, "What do you mean?"?! With all this money-- [looks closely at the bill he's holding and sees a picture of Ed's face drawn on it] What the--! It's fake!
[Edd puts his finger to his mouth, as a way of trying to tell Ed to keep quiet]
Ed: I drew it myself!
[Edd looks back and forth]
Ed: Eddy's mad.
Edd: Correct! He's back to normal.
Eddy: Where's the key?
Ed: I ate it! Discreetly.

[edit] It's Way Ed

[The Eds find out that the kids are all walking on stilts]
Sarah [To Ed]: They're stilts, Mr. Know-Nothing!!
[The Eds end up falling behind on fads again]
Eddy: NO!!! We're behind again!
(Edd starts to think)
Edd: Ah cheer up, Eddy. My Mom says fads go in a cycle and in another ten years we'll be back in style!
(Eddy gets annoyed)
Ed: I'm hungry.
[Zoom in and black]
Eddy: Shut up, Ed.

[edit] Eds-Aggerate

[Ed is making giant foot prints]

Ed: How am I doing. Eddy? Er, where's Eddy, Double-D?
[Ed falls into a puddle]
Edd: Stuck to your foot like an old gum wrapper.
[The Eds see Jonny with a cake]
Jonny: Look, Plank. Kevin was telling the truth.
[Jonny approaches the Eds with the cake]
Kevin: Jonny, leave them alone! Let 'em stew in their own muck.
[Kevin, as well as other kids laugh at the Eds. Jonny, on the other hand, gives the cake to Eddy]
Jonny [whispering]: Psst. Eddy, there's a hammer in the cake. [To Kevin] Coming, Kevin!
Edd: The hammer's obviously contaminated...
Ed: CAKE! [Ed eats through the cake, and has a hammer stuck to his face] Ah, my itch is gone.
Eddy: Ed, it's on your face!
Ed: What's on my face?!
Eddy: A hammer!
Ed: A TARANTULA!! AHH!! GET IT OFF, EDDY!! QUICK!! QUICK!! EDDY, GET IT OFF!!

[edit] Oath To An Ed

Rolf: [after catching Eddy with a net] And that is how to save a kitty from a tree! Easy, 1-2-3! Thank You, spoilt Eddy!
[Eddy is trying to do a challenge in being a good neighbor, despite his partner being Sarah, who is trying his patience]
Eddy [trying not to lose his temper]: Hello, neighbor...
Sarah: Oh, is baby gonna cry? Does baby want his bottle?
Eddy [infuriated]: SHUT UP, SARAH!!
Rolf: ED-BOY! NO WEE ROACH! NO URBAN RANGER! NO BADGE!

[edit] A Glass Of Warm Ed

Edd: Oh, dear. An intruder, eating all the food out of my refrigerator - in bare feet - so unsanitary!

[edit] Flea Bitten Ed

[Ed is nailing a sign onto the garage]
Ed: Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail [to Eddy] How's it look, Eddy? (nails fall off his mouth)
Eddy: Ed, you put the sign on upside-down!
Ed: No, I put the sign on the garage!
Eddy: Just flip it over, Ed.
Ed: Flip it? Got it!
[Ed flips the entire garage over]
Ed: I flipped it, Eddy!
Edd: Well, I can read the sign...
Ed: I feel funny. Ah...Ah...! [holds his nose] Ah-choo!! [Eyes bulge] I sneezed. [Gets rash] I'm mutating!
Edd: Eddy, Ed is showing strange symptoms. I'm concerned.
Eddy: I've been concerned about Ed since the first day I met him.
Ed: [Laughs] Look at me. I am a pigeon! A big pigeon!
Eddy: Don't lay an egg, birdbrain!
Edd: We need to protect you from those allergies, Ed.
Ed: Jimmy crack corn and I don't care.

[edit] Button Yer Ed

[Ed has just walked through Edd's screen door]
Edd: Ed, the screen door!
Ed: Let's watch it.

[edit] Avast Ye Eds

Ed:Captain Eddy says to take their dough.
(Jimmy and Jonny start to pay)
Jonny:Nice hat, Ed!
(Ed throws paper and confettis all over)
Ed:Captain Eddy says only two suckers at a time.
Eddy:Hey, kid, I'm on my break! Do you mind?

[edit] Season 2

[edit] Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Ed

[Ed is playing with some socks, as if they were dinosaur puppets]
Eddy: Ed, pay attention! Here I see the ninth hole with a jump over the water and a spiral twist to the hole! Now, where to put the car rentals. Hm-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.
Ed [Still playing with his socks]: Devour, stinky sock. Blab, blab, blab, blab.
Eddy [To Ed]: Gimme those socks!
Ed: Hmm? [rasps at Eddy]
Eddy: Why, you--!
[Ed and Eddy fight with each other whilst Edd is busy creating the mini-golf obstacle]
Edd: I think I've done it!
[They're still fighting]
Ed: Double D! Doody!
Eddy: Woah! [Drops down on the grass and grunts]
Ed: Can I lick the bowl, Double D?
[Edd plugs in the monster machine, causing it to activate and move its arms and jaws]
Edd: Voliá! The Eds' Miniature Golf Course is open for business!
Ed: Cool!
Eddy: Good work, Double D. The kids will line up for plunt and we'll be independently secure. Let's break it in.
Edd: But Eddy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y! [Eddy spins Edd like a tornado and spins out of sight]
[Eddy pus the golf ball on Ed's head and grabs a golf club]
Eddy: Whoa! [He tries to smack the ball but a piece of grass flies therefore the ball goes no distance. Eddy squeals. Ed's head is gone] Oh, no!
[Ed comes out of his own jacket]
Ed: My turn! (He sucks the ball in his mouth. Then he stands up, knocks Eddy to the ground and grabs the club. Ed spits the ball out and it stays in midair) A-puh! (He swings the club as if he was playing baseball. The club crashes the monster machine.) Fore!
Edd: All that hard work.
Eddy: What planet are you from?
Ed: [huging Eddy] I come in Peace Eddy.
(Edd starts checking the damages)
Edd: Well, the rods are shot. it'll probably take me weeks to find another box.
(Ed stops hugging Eddy and puts him down)
Ed: (with the sock) How come Double D is so smart about stuff?
Eddy: 'Cause he's not human.
Ed: (gasps) Double D's not human?! No way!
(Eddy gets a smirk)
Eddy: I... thought you knew. (pointing to Edd) Have you ever met anyone that smart?
(Ed starts thinking)
Eddy: (unpatiently) Well?
(Ed interrupts him)
Ed: If Double D's not human, what is he?

[edit] Ready, Set...Ed!

[Ed has shoved the kids into Eddy's rocket car, except for Kevin, who has yet to go in]
Kevin: Touch me with that broom, and I'll tear off your eyebrow.
[The Eds' rocket car has taken a hairy ride down an obstacle course, leaving the Ed's in pain]
Ed: I think I swallowed a turtle.
Eddy: What country are we in?
Edd: We're home, Eddy. And we've broken everything but a record.
Ed: Can I wear a dress again?

[edit] One Plus One Equals Ed

Ed [with lava lamp inside his mouth]: Eddy, why does goo float?
Eddy: Hit the road!
[Ed eats his lava lamp]
Eddy: My lamp!
Ed: Eddy, why don't birds take a bus south for the winter?
Ed: Hello, light. [opens refrigerator and closes it, he does this all night until morning]
Ed: Carrots are good for your eyes, can they dial a phone?
Eddy: Look; if you're gonna strain your peanut brain, think of something useful like how to get your face on a dollar bill.
Ed: Eddy, why is someone in the kitchen with Dinah?
Eddy: Uh, Double D up yet?
Ed: My turn to jump on his head.
Ed: Look at me run! [slides into street to have his head under it, like a carpet] Home free!
Jimmy: [After his outline is pulled off] Fate has dealt a cruel hand. Darn it! [He turns into liquid and is washed away into the sewer]
Edd: Don't look now, but there's a cow floating overhead. I feel uncomfortable.
Eddy: Double-D, we've learnt into fortune!
Edd: Don't let the excitement spoil your grammar, Eddy.
Eddy: Look around us! We've gotta be rich!
Sarah: [pops out of a floating dollhouse] Everything's broken! Fix it now!
Eddy: Shut your mouth, Sarah! Or, better yet, get rid of it! [Eddy takes Sarah's mouth off] I love taking things apart. [Sarah's mouth bites Eddy's head] Get her off, Double D!
Edd: Not a chance!


Edd: Did you eat the sun again, Eddy?
Ed: Can you guess what I'm doing?
Eddy: Get off my foot, Ed!
Edd: I think we're moving.
[Zooms out showing that they're in the pupil of Kevin's eye]
Kevin: I can hear dorks, but I can't see dorks. Come on out and show yourselves! NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Ed [Whilst picking up a cloud] Cotton gravy!
Edd: Careful, Ed! You don't know where that's been.
Ed: Oh, it's right here, Double-D!
[The Eds snap back to reality, with the kids all staring at them]
Kevin: What are you doing?
The Eds: Er... Nothing.
Kevin: Right, except for being...
Sarah: Dorks!
Kevin [to Sarah, mildly impressed]: Yeah!
Jimmy: Why Can't we all just get along?
Ed: (jumps on Jimmy) Jimmy, you got your line back! (Twist his head) Is it on wrong?
Sarah: (Picks Ed up) Ed, leave Jimmy alone!
Jimmy: Don't spill me.

[edit] Knock, Knock, Who's Ed?

[Jimmy discovers a doll at the door]
Jimmy: Look, Sarah! A talking doll!
[Jimmy pulls the string on the back]
Eddy' [to Ed]: Say something, stupid!
Ed: My head is snoring, make it stop!
[Jimmy screams]
Jimmy: Sarah! Boogeyman!

[edit] Know It All Ed

[The Eds are playing in a junkyard]
Eddy: I'm the King of the castle, and you're a dirty--
Ed and Edd: Dog pile!
[The Eds find a box containing turkey basters]
Eddy: What we have here, is a squirt gun.
Edd: Please, a squirt gun.
Eddy: What, yeah, a Canadian squirt gun.
Ed: Canadians are weird!

[He has a few squirt guns stuck to his face.]

[edit] Dear Ed

Ed: Not to mention a duck!
Edd & Eddy: Huh?
Ed: What?
Edd: Huh?
Ed: When?
Eddy: Uh--
Edd: Ed.
Ed: Why?
[Ed and Eddy stare at him]
Eddy: Okay, Jonny! Play ball!
Edd: Your turn, Jonny.
Jonny: Oh boy, Plank and I played this all the time! (once the ball has been thrown to Bob it bounces back to Jonny and gives him a mark in the forehead)
Eddy: [Laughing] Bob spiked it!
Jonny: Did it leave a mark? I don't like Bob!
Jonny: [Pointing st Salty Sam] He's mad, I tell ya! MAD!
[Eddy has kicked everyone out of his house]
Rolf: I was born to be wild, but the cake was too small.
Kevin: It was a dork fest!
Nazz: I can't believe I actually started to sweat.

[edit] Hands Across Ed

[The Eds hide from Rolf and Kevin in the junkyard. Edd and Eddy find a large tire to hide in]
Rolf: I think I saw the ducks run here.
Kevin: Dorks, Rolf. Dorks.
Rolf: Dorks do not quack, Kevin.
Kevin: Whatever. Let's find 'em.
Ed: Kinda funky, huh guys?
Jonny: Plank tells jokes. [To Plank] Knock 'em dead, buddy!
[pause]
Jonny: [laughing] You're killing me!
Eddy: Next!!

[edit] Floss Yer Ed

[Ed has just hurt his tooth attempting to bite a coconut]
Ed [spitting out the coconut]: ARRGH!! MY TOOTH HURTS!!! For real.

[edit] In Like Ed

[Ed is seen with a car door under his arm as if he's driving. He's imitating sound effects of a truck, such as the horn and the engine]
Ed: Delivery, Mister?
[Eddy's looking on whilst he's fishing out objects from a cardboard box]
Eddy: Did you eat breakfast this morning, Ed?
Ed: It's for my table, Eddy! Car door - only 5 cents. Dad's canoe - 20 cents. Mom's dryer - only 15 cents. [Throwing a huge pile of objects onto his table] No price will be refused at Honest Ed's! [rips table that everything is sitting on off of itself] Table - 5 cents [it collapses] London Bridge is falling!
Ed: Um, Double D? [holds up coat hanger] What's this do?
Edd: That's just a coat hanger, Ed.
Ed: Oh. Mum's the word.

[edit] Who Let The Ed In?

[Edd finds one of Ed's comics whilst Eddy pursues Ed and Jim]
Eddy [exhausted]: What's up with that guy?
Edd: Comics, Eddy. It's poison for the brain. This cancer has swallowed up Ed's mind, causing him to create an imaginary friend.
[Edd and Eddy try to ask Jonny about imaginary friends]
Jonny: Imaginary friend? What's that?

[edit] Rambling Ed

Ed: Honest Sarah, I always put the seat down!
Jimmy: The cavalry has arrived!
Sarah: What's your sock doing in my room?
Ed: Sleeping?
Sarah: Pick it up before I tell Mom!
Ed: Don't tell Mom, OK? (throws the sock and it hits Edd)
Edd: Curse these short legs!
Eddy [sees Ed in the kitchen with Sarah's dolls]: Ed, what are you doing?!
Ed: Dressing the dolly.
Eddy: Ed, if she told you to jump in the lake with a rock tied to your head, and wait for naked photos of you to develop so she can hand 'em out to all the kids of the cul-de-sac, would you?!
Ed: I had socks on Eddy.
Rolf: Filthy animals do not belong in Rolf's shed!
The Eds: Hiya, Rolf!
Rolf: What are you doing in the trough of food spoils?
Ed: I'm hot tubbing!
Rolf: [His pointing finger gets jammed into Ed's mouth] Do not frazzle Rolf! Please do not contaminate the food, as pigs eat from it!
Rolf: May shower scum devour your head!
Rolf: May your nose fester with the rage of olives!
Rolf: THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!!
Eds: 1, 2, 3! [they topple the shed]
Ed: Let's do it again!
[Rolf lifts up barn door]
Rolf: Having fun with my shed, Ed boys?! [comes inside the barn]
Edd: Is all well Rolf?
Ed: Wipe your feet please.
Rolf [Rips his shirt off in complete rage]: You have broken the celery stalk off the back of a sea urchin!!
Eddy: What'd he say?
Rolf: The yeast has risen and tells me the future of the couch-creature Ed-boys. The spirit of the rind speaks. Do you hear it?
Ed: What does it say?
Eddy (sarcastically) Yeah. Tell us, O Swami!
Rolf: Ah yes, your future will begin by...[shows his muscles and a fist] CLEANING MY PIG PEN! [The Eds immiediately get to work as to avoid punishment] Also your future will hold that you de-lice the chickens, shake the dew from the trees and brush the hair on the back of Rolf!!
Edd: [panicking] Gloves! I need gloves!
Ed: Pumpkins sure are bossy.
Eddy: Shut up, Ed!

[edit] Homecooked Eds

Lee: We're watching infomercials.
[All of the Eds look nervous]
Eddy: Uh... New Stench-Away deoderent keeps me dry and fresh.
[Eddy rubs Ed on Edd's armpit]
Lee: That junk wrecked my clothes.
Marie: Gimme that!
[Again, the Eds look nervous. Then, Ed immitates a siren]
Eddy: Backup! Requesting backup!
Ed: I wanna drive, Eddy! [Ed puts his face on the screen] Beep! Transfer, please!
[Jonny has just rescued Plank from the Kankers' trailer]
May: Give me back my back scratcher!
Jonny: Scratch this!
[Jonny and Plank send the Kankers' trailer flying after setting off a slingshot connected to a mailbox]
[The Kankers' trailer lands onto the fence between the houses of Kevin and Eddy]
Kevin: What's a trailer doing on my... TRAILER?!
[Pushes The trailer]
Kevin: Stay off my lawn!
[Edd and Eddy attempt to push the trailer back to Kevin]
Ed: Uh, Kevin! You've got a... Oh, I guess you already noticed.
Marie: Now this is what I call a vacation.
[Couch slides down but comes back sliding]
Lee: Just like the cruise Mom took!
[Couch slides down the opposite way]
May [feeling unwell]: I'm feeling sea-sick.
Eddy: THEY'RE YOUR'S!!
Kevin: NO WAY! YOUR'S!!
Eddy: ED! HELP!!
Ed: 1 + 1 = 1 on a bun.
[Edd & Eddy are almost crushed]
Edd & Eddy: ED!!

[edit] To Sir With Ed

[Eddy is in his room]
Eddy [to his mother]: Hey, mom! Is dinner ready yet!
[pause]

[edit] Key To My Ed

Ed: No problem. I have a key. [puts his arm through one of his pant legs] I think it fell out of this hole in my pants.
Eddy: [looks at the key] Ed, you idiot! This is your key!!
Ed: Did I go somewhere?
Eddy: Nah. Just rest that empty little head, Ed.

[edit] Honor Thy Ed

Kankers: Here come the brides! [May gives out a wolf whistle]
Eddy: Kankers? Brides?
Edd: The Kankers tricked us!! It's a wedding, Eddy!!!
Ed: But I can't dance, Eddy!
Ed: Do you think there will be a reception?
(Eddy is pushing Edd and Ed to the haunted house)

Ed:(sneezes away dandelions) Ah...ah...ah...CHOO!

[edit] Scrambled Ed

Edd [feeling tired]: Sleppy, sleepy, sleepy...

[edit] Urban Ed

[The kids see the Eds have built a city]
Kevin: Alright! The Eds did something cool for once.
Eddy [pretending to drive a car]: What is this, a funeral?! Let's go, Grandma!

[edit] Stop, Look, Ed

[Ed is smacking his face against some mud]
Ed: I'm a woodpecker. [continues to smack his face into the mud] Except with dirt.
Eddy: (out of the grass) Let's find some more signs! (runs off)
Eddy: (Holds a 'Joy of Rules' book) Joy of Rules? Man Double D, get a life! (Holds up a fish)
Edd: Eddy, no!
(he smacks the fish on the book)
Edd: Okay! That's it! I'm gonna give you such a thrashing! [Edd's hat comes off, but we only see the hat, not his head]
Eddy: Geez Louise!
Ed: Cool.
Edd: If you say one word to anyone, I'll never speak to you again!
Ed [wearing a skull on his head, tossing garbage from the wastebasket]: I am dead from the neck up!
Eddy: I'll just save it and use it for ammo when I need you, Double D.
Ed: Eddy is always a step ahead.
[The Eds are put in a suspended birdcage and look outside the window and try to get Rolf's and Johnny's attention with signs]
Eddy: Help!
Edd: Please assist!
Ed: Ketchup!

[edit] Rent-a-Ed

[Jonny's house is destroyed after Ed broke a support beam]
Kevin: You guys are in so much trouble!
Eddy: Tell me about it, I lost my money.

[edit] Shoo Ed

[The Eds are in a shed, attempting to make Jonny the most annoying person in the cul-de-sac. Ed laughs as he pulls down a bed reminiscent of Frankenstein. Edd and Eddy look at Jonny, who's wearing a suit]
Edd: A suit, annoying? I spent two hours counter-balancing chains, and all you can come up with is a suit?
Eddy: It was the most annoying thing I could find.
Edd: My father wears a suit!
Eddy: Exactly.
[Ed glues a wooden block to Jonny's feet]
Ed: I glued a block of wood to Jonny's feet.
Edd: Ed, why did you glue a wooden block to Jonny's feet? Why these chains? And why the suit? Why Jonny?!
Eddy: Jonny, people like it when you say "WHY" ALL THE TIME!
(Edd gets an annoyed look)
Jonny: They do? Why? Why? Why? Why? (Eddy starts to laugh)
Ed: And people really like when you poke it on the head! (Starts poking Eddy) See? Eddy likes it!
[Jonny is seen hiding in a birdhouse]
Jonny: YEE HAW!!
Jimmy: Sarah, he's gonna scare the swallows.
Sarah: Jonny, get out of there!
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: Cause I said so.
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: Cause your bugging us!
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: CAUSE YOU'RE STUPID!
Jonny: Why?
Jimmy: Why won't he just go away?
Eddy: For a lousy quarter, let us get that Jonny out of that tree.
Sarah: Get lost, butthead!
Jimmy: But Sarah, think of the swallows.
Sarah: Oh brother!
[Jimmy pays the Eds]
Jimmy: Swallows are cute.
[Edd is trying to provoke Jonny down with a broom, in preparation of annoying Rolf]
Jonny: Poke, poke! [Jonny pulls on the broom Edd's using] Why? Why? Why? [Edd gets the broom out, but it's gnawed and without bristles] YEE HAW!

[edit] Ed In A Halfshell

Edd [to Ed]: Theatrics do not forge good learning skills.
Eddy: Hey, do you mind? Mister I-Know-Everything-About-Nothing?!
Ed [to Edd]: "Shush!"

[edit] Mirror Mirror On the Ed

[Ed is seen standing on thin air]
Edd and Eddy: Come back, Ed!
Ed: I can jump it, guys!
Edd and Eddy: No, Ed!! [They pull him back before he could even jump]
Edd: Now what?
Eddy: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Ed: Can I think?
Edd and Eddy: NO!
[Jonny is seen wearing trash cans on his arms, and acting as if he was a fly]
Jonny: Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Jonny! Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Jonny! Buzz, buzz-
[Jonny crashes into tree whilst the other kids, excluding Nazz, are laughing]
Nazz: You shouldn't have dared Jonny to buzz off, Kevin.
Ed: Eddy, truth or dare?
Eddy: Okay, dare, Ed.
Ed: Okay, Eddy. I dare you to spread the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling Row Row Row Your Boat through a car wash.
Edd: Ed, try a more reasonable dare, please.
Ed: Ok I dare Eddy to be Double-D.

[edit] Hot Buttered Ed

Edd: Oh, look at this now! Dried potatoes that may contain dextrose, salts, and saturated fats; all over my sleeping bag!
Eddy: Double D made a mess in his sleeping bag, Ed.
[It's sunset, and people are leaving the beach, except for the Eds]
Edd: Assistance, please! Assistance!
[Ed and Eddy turn their attention toward Edd, who is completely sunburnt]
Eddy: What's with you?
Edd: Mother Nature is sooo unforgiving.
Ed: I am a lizard. I can change colors!! I have become CHAMELEON MAN! [turns to Eddy] You can be my sidekick, Frogmouth Kid!! And Double D is our butler, ummm...Double D!!

[edit] High Heeled Ed

Ed: I smell waffles, guys!
Eddy: Shut up, Ed![Eddy grabs him and pulls him out of the sewer]
Nazz: Here's your money back, Jimmy. [to the Eds] Grow up!
Sarah: Wait 'till you get home, Ed!
Jimmy:Charlatons!
Ed: Spending an extended time in female company can be mentally disorientating and physically confusing.
Eddy: What's with you?
Edd: Ed trouser-less state seems to have jogged an intellectual state within the confinds of his brain.
Eddy: Ed? Is that you?
Ed: Hug me!
Eddy: Well that didn't last long!
Ed: Hug! (Hugs Eddy)
Eddy: Put me down, I don't wanna! (steps on Ed and jumps the fence)
Ed: Double D, my friend!
Edd: Please! Ed, no, wait! (jumps the fence)
Ed: (breaks the fence) Hug me!
Edd: Ed your in your underwear!
Ed: Okay, I feel loved now.

[edit] Fa-La-La-La-Ed

Edd: We're not allowed to play up here, fellows. [Ed and Eddy continue to sneak into other rooms] I repeat, upstairs is off limits!
Eddy: Get over it, Ed, it's July! Anyways, Christmas stinks. All I ever get is clothes.
Ed: That's because Santa knows you're a naughty boy, Eddy.
Eddy [after attempting to bite Ed's hand]: Santa don't know squat!
Ed [Holding Eddy by the mouth] DON'T EVER SAY THAT, EDDY!! He's making his list and checking it twice.
[Ed exposes the scam to the kids]
Edd [tearful]: Oh, I'm so ashamed...
[Edd breaks down, whilst Ed comforts him]
Ed: There, there, Double D. Santa forgives.
[The Eds are singing Christmas carols in order to get money]
The Eds [singing]: We made you laugh, so give up your cash and cheer will come your way!
The Eds [singing]: Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la, give us cash or we'll never stop singing, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
The Eds [singing]: We wish you a Merry Christmas! we- [Eddy and Edd stop singing when they see Rolf's pajamas]
Ed: ...wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! So give us some cash!
Rolf: No cash. [places a strip of bacon into the jar] A fine strip of bacon, yes?

[edit] Cry Ed

Ed: Look up my nose and see your future.
Jonny: Boy Eddy, you're a mess!
Eddy: Oh, is that you Jonny? It was horrible. [fake cough]. It came out of nowhere. [fake cough]. Did I say it was horrible?
Ed: Horrible it was! A giant Swedish meatball with a blood-curdling scream grabbed Eddy in its drooling ground chuck. [does a swallowing sound over and over]
Edd: Please.
Rolf: Rolf has seen this meatball! It stalks Wilfred in the dead of night!
Kids: Oooh!
[Jimmy has just been bandaged up by Sarah, and tries to catch up with her]
Ed [disguised as a bush]: Meatball!
Jimmy: AHHH!! MOTHER NATURE IS ATTACKING AGAIN!!
[Jimmy is taken into the bush]
Edd [setting Jimmy up into a bubble suit]: We're here to help, Jimmy. For your's and Eddy's sake. Safety is my prime concearn.
[Eddy races down the lane via frying pan]
Eddy: RUNAWAY FRYING PAN!! [Eddy sees the other kids] Ahh, my audience. [To the kids] I'M IN TROUBLE, FOLKS!
[Eddy crashes against the side of a dumpster]
[Eddy, dressed in a boiler, has crash-landed on top of Rolf and Kevin]
Eddy: Hello?! Where did everybody go?
Kevin: Well, what do you know? Canned Dork! Allow me to introduce you to my knuckes.
Eddy: *laughter* Forget your glasses at home? I'm invincible. You'll hurt your hand.
Rolf: Consume your strength, Kevin. As you will need it for the Ed-boy thrashing. Rolf can see a shoddy spotwelding from a distance of twenty goats!
Eddy: Hey! [Rolf lays Eddy down] Quit wasting your time, Rolfie boy.
[Rolf bashes his tongue against the boiler Eddy's wearing]
Kevin: You're a freak, dude.
Rolf: Behold.
[Eddy is laughing, but it soon stops when his armour is sliced in half]
Kevin: Pick a body part, Rolf.
Rolf: I am quite partial to feet, Kevin.
[Ed and Edd are watching from up above the crater where Eddy landed]
Edd: This is not good.
[Eddy is beaten up by Rolf and Kevin]
Eddy [whilst in mid-air]: This is great! Go get the kids, quick, Double D.
Edd: "Do this, Double D!" "Do that, Double D!" Ooh, bossy, bossy, bossy!
[Edd goes over to find the kids whilst Ed looks on at Rolf and Kevin attacking Eddy]

[edit] Season 3

[edit] Wish You Were Ed

Ed: I wish I wish I was a fish.
Ed and Rolf: That's my horse!

[edit] Momma's Little Ed

Eddy: This is Mommies note, and my exact copy. Pretty good, huh? He'll never tell the difference!
Ed: That is so lame, Eddy.
Eddy: And you're like a human photocopier, right, Mr. Perfecto?
Ed: Dare to compare.
Eddy: Will you ever cease to amaze me, Ed?
Ed: Yes I will.
Ed: I cut the air in two! This side's yours, Double D!
Edd: We can share the air, Ed.
Eddy: It's gonna take me forever to fix all this air!
Eddy: It was Ed's fault and Kevin, as usual
Edd: Kevin?
Eddy: Yeah, that square headed jerk!
Edd: But Kevin isn't in this episode, Eddy.

[edit] Once Upon An Ed

Eddy: I have a bad feeling about this.
Ed: I don't have any feeling at all.
Edd: Pure fiction, Eddy! Your exaggerated tale can only be described as cockamamie!
Ed: Tsk tsk tsk... I have never heard such language...
Eddy: Kankers!
[The giant Kankers slam their heads together to make one.]
Eddy: Ed, your story's getting weird!

[edit] For Your Ed Only

[The Eds have just tied Kevin to a tree, in an attempt to hide Sarah's diary]
Kevin: You guys have reached a new low in dork history!
Eddy: Jealous? Hasta la vista! [runs off laughing]
Edd: I do apologize for the abrupt accomodations, Kevin... C'est la vie! [runs off to join Ed and Eddy]
Kevin: This show needs subtitles...
[Edd is attempting to seal his mouth with duck tape after saying some underhanded idea to Eddy]
Ed: Tape!
[Edd comes out fully wrapped in tape]

Ed: I'm in my happy place, Double-D.

Ed: It's Sarah! We are so doomed, help me guys. She will tell mom, and mom will tell dad, and he will say "Not now, I just got home from work!" I'm not in my happy place guys!!

[The Eds attempt to escape Sarah using bubble gum, but ends up deflating when Edd's mouth can't keep up with the chewing]
Ed [As they fall]: Have mercy, child from the netherworld!

[edit] It Came From Outer Ed

Eddy: [banging on Ed's window] Help! Ed, save us! Help, Ed!
Ed: Evil Tim's got Eddy!
Eddy: [from window]: Up here, blockhead!
Ed: Eddy! I got a new comic.
Eddy: So what? We're being attacked.
Ed: It is the curse of Evil Tim!
Eddy: Look, Ed! Evil Tim is sucking Jimmy in!
Ed: Crush the monster!
Edd: Look at the size of that Northern Dutch Elm!
Ed: The curse has past! You are safe!
Jonny: Holey Moley!
Rolf: Rolf is amused!
Nazz: So, where's Jimmy, dude?
Sarah [worried]: Jimmy!
Ed: Jimmy?
Eddy: You gotta love him.
Ed: Huup! Speak to me, Jimmy!
Ed: Double D! Not you too!
Ed: I feel funny.
Ed: [grabs some dirt] Boing! It's a lightbulb.
Edd: Q? Ed, where's the X?
Ed: Uhh, A, B, C, D, L, M, N, O, G. Don't you know your alphabet, Double-D?
[Ed throws Jimmy's doll, Mr. Yum Yum, onto the Q]
Ed: Good work, Double D. It looks just like a Q.
Edd: Excuse me! Ed, I think somewhere along this adventure you lost your train of thought! [Ed begins eating a dog treat] Is that a doggy treat?
Ed: What's the rock for, Double D?
[Edd drops the rock on his foot]
Edd: MY FOOT!
Eddy: My head!!
Ed: You're late, Eddy!!
Eddy: [grabs Ed by the throat] Why'd ya take the rabbit?! GIVE BACK JIMMY'S MR. YUM-YUM!!!!
Edd: Mr. Yum-Yum?
Eddy: [grabs Edd by the shirt] You know I'm gonna get you for this!!

[edit] 3 Squares And An Ed

[Sarah and Jimmy encounter Jonny, who is dressed up as a leprachaun, whereas Plank is a four-leafed cover]
Jonny [in an Irish accent]: Howdy! Howdy! Catch me, and I'll give you me pot of gold.
Eddy: What happened to the stairs??
Ed: My parents took them down because I am grounded!!
Edd: That's disturbing.
Eddy: Nah, they can keep the stairs, cause you can jump it!
Ed: (in fear) But I am grounded, Eddy!
Eddy: Yeah, yeah. We herd it a million times. Here lemme help you. (grabs a big safety pin)
Edd: (terrified) Eddy, NO!!!
Eddy: What's your problem? (with the safety pin on the concrete, Eddy lean Ed to it) Now, Ed. just lean back.
Ed: (jumping out of the room to the living room) Alleyoop!
Edd: Gracious!
Eddy: Geronimo! (arriving there) Behold the gates of freedom! (about to open the door) After me.
(The Eds get smacked when Sarah opens it)

[edit] Dueling Eds

Eddy:What could be more important than "Master Eddy"?
Ed: COOKIE DOUGH!
Edd: They say, in order to gain knowledge, one must see it.
Edd: Eddy, show some respect!
Eddy: What's your problem?
Ed: It's his hat, Eddy. He always wears it and he talks forever about stuff, not to mention his obsession with cleanliness, big problem.
Ed: Hurry up guys, before he gets up! Rolf has such good parties!
Edd: No, Ed. We'll leave... this way!
[Edd pulls Ed back onsrceen]
Edd: Boy, you're heavy, Ed.
Edd: You've hurt Rolf's feelings!
Eddy: I didn't do anything.
[Eddy gives a buried Rolf a plant as means of apology]
Eddy: Here you go, Rolf, I'm sorry for hurting your whatever.
[Rolf reaches up and feels the plant, then rises out of the dirt]
Ed: It lives! Hiya Rolf!
Eddy: Hiya, Stretch, nice plant, huh? Don't forget to water it.
Rolf: You mock Rolf yet again, with the Potted Shrub of Ridicule?
Eddy: The what?
Rolf: For the honor of Rolf's Great Nano, I challenge you to a duel!
Ed: Holy mackerel!
Edd: Yes, I believe you're right, Ed.
Edd: Oh, dear. Rolf's customs have a frighteningly high budget!
Rolf: In a duel, two must fight, two, duel, duel, two. Why do you not fight Rolf?!?!?!
Eddy: Oh, is it my turn?
Rolf: Hit Rolf!
[Eddy tries to smack Rolf with the fish, but Rolf hits him first and throws him off the log]
Edd: Eddy?
Rolf: The Honour of Rolf's ancestors has been avenged! Thank you.
Kevin [After Eddy's duel with Rolf] Want a copy for future dork reference? [laughs and walks away with his video camera]
[Following this duel, The Eds are sharing a celebration with Rolf, by having their pants filled with eels]
Rolf: Come, Kevin! Join us in our jubilation.
Kevin [in disgust]: I'll pass, dude.
Rolf [offended]: Son of a gun! You insult Rolf by denying the eels?!
Edd: Ooh! Ed, are you enjoying this?
Ed [scratching himself]: I feel weird guys, I think I'm allergic to eels.
[symptoms take place, as Ed's body is shaped as a fish]
Eddy: FISH FACE!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!
Ed: Could someone scratch my scales?
Eddy: EEWW!!!

[edit] Dim Lit Ed

Kevin: Is this thing supposed to be dead?
Eddy: The iguana ain't dead, windbag. It's just, uhh... [nudges Edd]
Edd: ...Sleeping like a baby, Kevin. That'll be 25 cents!
Jonny [lays down a quarter]: SOLD!
Edd [stares at the quarter]: I'm surrounded by idiots.
Eddy: Who's complaining?

[edit] Will Work for Ed

Rolf [to Eddy]: Rolf requires one with the backbone of a yak. This is no job for a jellyfish like yourself.
[Ed is about to start work at Rolf's farm, but attempts to get there by car]
Edd: Ed, no! You're too young to drive!
[Eddy laughs at what's happening]
[Ed arrives at Rolf's front door in preparation for work. Ed falls down in the process]
Ed: Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. [Rolf opens the door] I brought my lunch, boss.
Eddy [chanting]: Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna...
Jonny [interrupts Eddy]: We hate broccoli!
Eddy [continues]: ...ain't gonna work.
Eddy [to Edd]: Go blow your whistle Mr. Referee. I got a nuisense to make out of myself.
Edd: He's so stubborn. [Rolf opens the door before Edd knocks] Oh.. Hello Rolf.
Eddy [chanting again]: Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna- [Eddy then sees Rolf let Ed and Edd in] Rolf's letting him in!

[edit] Ed, Ed and Away

[Eddy is fighting Sarah and Jimmy over the balloon]
Eddy: Gimme that balloon, Sarah!
Sarah: [Mocking Eddy] "Gimme, Gimme" never gets!

[edit] X Marks the Ed

[The Eds are fishing, and Ed finds his freezer experiment]
Ed: Oh, goody goody! It's my freezer experiment! I wondered where Sarah hid it. Well, that's a keeper!!
Edd and Eddy [warning him not to put his experiment back in the pond]: No, Ed!!
Ed: Who brought the tartar sauce?
Ed [referring to his pimples on his back] I make a game out of mine, Eddy, cause I'm productive. You can play "Connect the Dots". See? It's a boat.
Ed: I claim this planet in the name of Ed, bringer of bacon!
Eddy: Can you please hurry up with that? My arms have fallen asleep!
Eddy: WHAT!? FORTY DAYS!?
Eddy: [shrunken voice] Fix me!
Edd: Tell me!
Ed: Shrink me!
Rolf: Stay Back!
Eddy: Wait 'til I get my hands on you! Fix my head, you quack!

[edit] From Here to Ed

[Ed shows Edd and Eddy some disgusting objects, as a weapon to use on Kevin]
Edd: Where did you exhume this from, Ed?
Ed: Brick-a-brack from under my bed, Double D.

[edit] Ed or Tails

[Eddy is attempting to sell his clown scam to Jimmy]
Eddy: Are you un- unconshi...
Edd: Unconcious, Eddy.
Eddy: Dead from the neck up?

[edit] Boys Will Be Eds

Kevin [in thought]: She's so radical!
Eddy [in thought]: She can't keep her eyes off me!
Edd [in thought]: Her hair is so clean... And not fly-away at all!
Ed [thinking and echoing]: Hello? Echo! MY NAME IS ED!

[edit] Gimme Gimme Never Ed

[The Eds' "Requiem for a Whiplash" ride ends with them flying into the distance, and dropping their money near Jonny and Plank]
Jonny: Well, what do you know. We got a refund. What's that?
[Jonny hears Plank out]
Jonny: Hey, Eddy! Plank says you owe him a buck for the ride! [laughter] Good one, buddy.

[edit] My Fair Ed

[Ed and Eddy are about to start their first lesson in proper etiquite]
Eddy: Tell me again, Ed. Why are we wearing these bandages on our heads?
Ed: For free lunch from Double D, Eddy Mcgee!
[Both Ed and Eddy laugh]
Eddy: Tell me again, Ed. Why?
Ed: Cause Double D said so, Eddy the... uh... I dunno!
[Both Eds break into laughter]
Eddy: You're a riot, Ed!
Ed and Eddy: BROCOLLI!! AHHHHHH!! RUN AWAY!!

[edit] Rock-A-Bye Ed

Ed: I was in my happy place lost in the void of my mind!

[edit] O-Ed Eleven

Ed: I am a brother and Eddy's brother is a brother and Eddy is a brother to Eddy's brother as a brother I am!
Edd: Um... Nicely put, Ed!
Eddy: Oh, brother.
[The Ed's have found out that the "secret stash", belonging to Eddy's brother, is hidden underneath the Kankers' trailer]
Eddy: My brother's a whizz at ticking me off!
[The Eds avoid the Kankers by disguising as sewer workers]
Edd: Ed, please zip up you're gym bag. we're quite done with it.
Ed [taking the gym bag]: It's more than just a gym bag, Double D! It's a way of life!

[edit] Luck of the Ed

[edit] Ed... Pass It On...

Jonny: What do you mean an Ed Turkey a la King for you and a couple of breadsticks for the bald kid?
Edd: Nice presentation, Ed! [To Jonny] And here you are, one Ed Turkey A La King!
Jonny: FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!
[Ed is sitting in the pan, naked, as the turkey]
Edd: ED!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO USE A REAL TURKEY!!
Ed [pouring sauce on himself]: Stuffing, anyone?
Eddy [claping the pan lid back on Ed]: IDIOT!!
Eddy: R-E-S-P-E-E-K! Respect, Double-D!
Jonny: Come on, Kevin! Tell us your secret! We won't tell anyone, we're loners!
Ed: Did he miss another bus again Eddy? Buses can be so cruel!
Ed: Party at Kevin's house!!
Ed: Got any dip?
Kevin: I'll dip you, you dork!
Eddy: You dare hit the brother of Eddy's brother!?
Sarah: Brothers are stupid.
Ed: Who wants to play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey?"
Eddy: Shut up, Ed!

[edit] Brother, Can You Spare an Ed

Eddy: Double D, that sounds so real!
Edd: Don't rub salt in the wound, Eddy. You know how much I detest this instrument.
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