Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy

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Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999-2009) was an original animated television created by Danny Antonucci and became one of the longest running and most successful franchises on Cartoon Network. The series revoled around three adolescent boys known as "the Eds," who live in a cul-de-sac and make it their job to scam the other kids of the neighborhood with wacky money-making schemes in order to buy their favorite confectionary: jawbreakers. However, their plans most often fail and leave the boys in unplanned - and sometimes embarrassing - predicaments. But despite these constant shortcomings, the three remain close friends (despite their almost endless bickering amongst one another).

Contents

[edit] Season 1

[edit] The Ed-Touchables

[Using a squirt gun, Eddy squirts water on top of Plank, making Jonny desperate for the bathroom]
Jonny: OK, I've stolen everybody's stuff! Now let me go, I gotta go to the bathroom!
Eddy: You heard him, boys! Case closed.

Release Date: January 5, 1999

[edit] Nagged To Ed

[The Eds are in the forest, only to hear mysterious, yet haunting voices]
Kankers [Off-screen]: Ed, Edd and Eddy, sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
[stuck to a giant spider web]
Ed: Help me, guys!! I don't want the fluids drained from my body!!

[edit] Over Your Ed

[Edd drinks the energy drink, then he flies in the air and falls]
Edd: I fell tough and strong!
[Eddy takes Ed and Edd to his bedroom closet]
Eddy: Welcome to my closet of dreams!

[edit] Pop Goes the Ed

[The Eds are crawling on sand as if they're stranded in a desert]
Eddy: W-W-W-W-Water! [sand comes out of his mouth]
Edd: H2O, please.
Ed: Gravy.
Eddy: I'm frying. [All three Eds collapse] The fat lady just sang, boys.
Ed: My life is flashing before my eyes.
Eddy: What life?

[edit] Sir Ed-a-Lot

Sarah: As I was saying, I am the queen! [smacks the table]
Ed: And we are your serviettes.
Eddy [talking about Sarah]: Next thing you know, she's gonna want a throne!
[Sarah is then seen, sat on a tower of chairs, obviously representing a throne]
Eddy: A toast to my big mouth!

[edit] A Pinch To Grow an Ed

[Edd shows Eddy his new device in growing tall]
Edd: Behold, walking braces! You'll become a giant among the low-ground!
Eddy: [shoves them off his face] Do I look like a clown?
Ed: [lifts him up] C'mon, Eddy. Put 'em on!
Eddy: Put me down, I don't wanna wear your stupid boots!
Edd: But, Eddy, they'll make you taller.
Eddy: [plainly convinced] Taller? [Ed shoves the boots on Eddy's feet]
Eddy: [Unimpressed] Nice boots, Mr. Smarty-Pants, they-- [slams into the ceiling from the boots extending, then falls back down, dazed] Nice pants, Mr. Smarty-Boots. Nice...
Edd:You have to try practicing first.

[edit] Read All About Ed

[Eddy decides to sleep on the pavement. Edd walks by, who is doing a newspaper round]
Edd: Good morning, Eddy! Eddy?
Eddy [just waking up]: Get outta my room, Double-D.
Edd: I'm outside, Eddy. I've got a paper round.

[edit] Quick Shot Ed

[Jonny is in the park reading a book to Plank]

Jonny: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a ... [startled] oh my!
Eddy: Smile!

[edit] An Ed Too Many

Edd: [hears a ring] Someone's at the the door, Eddy!
Eddy: Get that, will ya! I'm trying to kneed this pizza dough!
[Eddy feels as though he's not getting any good luck from his four-leaved clover. Jonny and Plank stumble upon it]
Jonny: Look, Plank a four-leaved clover. [stumbles upon a $20 bill] Whoa! Look, Plank! A $20 bill!
[Eddy notices Jonny's find]
Eddy: Wait! That's our luck!
Edd: That's always our luck.
[They soon hear Ed's belly rumbling again]
Ed: I'm hungry!

[edit] Ed-n-Seek

[The Eds have the opportunity to hide in a game of Hide-n-Seek. Eddy is heading over to his hiding spot with some food]
Jimmy: 81, 82, 83...
Eddy: 24, 25, 26...
Jimmy: 27, 28, 29...
[Eddy gets into a metallic bush, which is the Eds' hiding spot]
Eddy: Ha! This is the best hiding spot!
Ed [With his mouth full]: We can stay here forever.
Edd: At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes.

[edit] Look Into My Eds

Ed: Look into the circley thing!
Rolf: You crazy?!
Ed: [turning to Eddy] It's not working, Eddy!
Eddy: Spin it, bean dip!
Ed: Thanks, Eddy!

[edit] Tag Yer Ed

[Kevin's football hits Edd]
Kevin: Hey, dork! Throw it over!
Edd: Certainly, Kevin! Here it comes! [Weak throw]
Kevin [laughter] You throw like a two-year-old!
Rolf: Ya, and two-year-olds aren't even good at stuffing sausages!

[edit] Dawn Of The Eds

Eddy: We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks.
Edd: Ahh... Actually, Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth.
Eddy: Ah, you don't know what you're talking about.

[edit] Vert-Ed-Go

Eddy: Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?
Ed: For protection.
[Eddy attempts to get the helmet off Ed's butt]
Eddy: It's meant for your head.
Ed: It's my butt!
Eddy: It's not safe!
Ed: Eddy, stop!
Eddy:It's not meant--
Ed and Eddy: Ahh! [both fall down]
Ed: Wake up, Eddy! Stop being unconscious now.
[Ed slaps Eddy out of unconsciousness]
Eddy: Ed! Ed, I'm awake!

[edit] Who, What, Where, Ed

Ed [ringing doorbell]: Can Eddy come out to play?
Eddy: I'm right beside you, Ed.
Ed: Hi, Eddy!

[edit] Keeping Up With The Eds

Edd: Oh my! Father wants me to mow the lawn! I DETEST MOWING THE LAWN!

[edit] Fool On the Ed

[Due to the El Mongo stink bomb getting wedged in the garage doorway, it explodes, sending the stench all over the cul-de-sac]
Edd: [screams] I can't breathe!
[The kids smell what was from the stink bomb, and immediately run away, except for the Eds]
Ed: Mmm. Something smells good.
Edd [Holding his nose]: It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence.
Eddy [dazed]: Yes! I stink, therefore I am!
[Eddy passes out whilst Ed continues to take a whiff of the stink bomb's contents]

[edit] A Boy and His Ed

Eddy: What are we gonna do?
Edd: I suppose if we learned more about Kevin, he'd be more than happy to share his jawbreakers.
Eddy: Be Kevin's friends? We have a better chance of Ed growing a chin!
Ed: I wish I had four stomachs!

[edit] Laugh, Ed, Laugh

Eddy: Where's the key?
Ed: I ate it! Discreetly.

[edit] It's Way Ed

[The Eds find out that the kids are all walking on stilts]
Sarah [To Eddy]: They're stilts, Mr. Know-Nothing!!

[edit] Eds-Aggerate

[Ed is making giant foot prints]

Ed: How am I doing. Eddy? Er, where's Eddy, Double-D?
[Ed falls into a puddle]
Edd: Stuck to your foot like an old gum wrapper.

[edit] Oath To An Ed

[Eddy is trying be a good neighbor, even though it's Sarah, who is trying his patience]
Eddy: (Trying to stay calm) Excuse Me, neighbor...
Sarah: Oh, is baby gonna cry? Does baby want his bottle?
Eddy: (infuriated) SHUT UP, SARAH!!
Rolf: Eddy! No wee roach! No urban ranger! No badge!
Eddy: How 'bout another chance?

[edit] A Glass Of Warm Ed

Edd: Oh, dear. An intruder, eating all the food out of my refrigerator - in bare feet - so unsanitary!

[edit] Flea Bitten Ed

Edd: Eddy, Ed is showing strange symptoms. I'm concerned.
Eddy: I've been concerned about Ed since the first day I met him.

[edit] Button Yer Ed

[Ed has just walked through Edd's screen door]
Edd: Ed, the screen door!
Ed: Let's watch it.

[edit] Avast Ye Eds

Ed:Captain Eddy says to take their dough.
(Jimmy and Jonny start to pay)
Jonny:Nice hat, Ed!
(Ed throws paper and confettis all over)
Ed:Captain Eddy says only two suckers at a time.

[edit] Season 2

[edit] Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Ed

[Ed is playing with some socks, as if they were dinosaur puppets]
Eddy: Ed, pay attention! Here I see the ninth hole with a jump over the water and a spiral twist to the hole! Now, where to put the car rentals. Hm-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.
Ed [Still playing with his socks]: Devour, stinky sock. Blab, blab, blab, blab.
Eddy [To Ed]: Gimme those socks!
Ed: Hmm? [rasps at Eddy]
Eddy: Why, you--!
[Ed and Eddy fight with each other whilst Edd is busy creating the mini-golf obstacle]
Edd: I think I've done it!
[They're still fighting]
Ed: Double D! Doughnut!
Eddy: Woah! [Drops down on the grass and grunts]
Ed: Can I lick the bowl, Double D?
[Edd plugs in the monster machine, causing it to activate and move its arms and jaws]
Edd: Voliá! The Eds' Miniature Golf Course is open for business!
Ed: Cool!
Eddy: Good work, Double D. The kids will line up for miles and we'll be independently secure. Let's break it in.
Edd: But Eddy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y! [Eddy spins Edd like a tornado and spins out of sight]
[Eddy puts the golf ball on Ed's head and grabs a golf club]
Eddy: Whoa! [He tries to smack the ball but a piece of grass flies therefore the ball goes no distance. Eddy squeals. Ed's head is gone] Oh, no!
[Ed comes out of his own jacket]
Ed: My turn! (He sucks the ball in his mouth. Then he stands up, knocks Eddy to the ground and grabs the club. Ed spits the ball out and it stays in midair) A-puh! (He swings the club as if he was playing baseball. The club crashes the monster machine.) Fore!
Edd: All that hard work.
Eddy: What planet are you from?
Ed: [huging Eddy] I come in Peace Eddy.
(Edd starts checking the damages)
Edd: Well, the rods are shot. it'll probably take me weeks to find another box.
(Ed stops hugging Eddy and puts him down)
Ed: (with the sock) How come Double D is so smart about stuff?
Eddy: 'Cause he's not human.
Ed: (gasps) Double D's not human?! No way!
(Eddy gets a smirk)
Eddy: I... thought you knew. (pointing to Edd) Have you ever met anyone that smart?
(Ed starts thinking)
Eddy: (unpatiently) Well?
(Ed interrupts him)
Ed: If Double D's not human, what is he?

[edit] Ready, Set...Ed!

Ed: Can we visit the planet of Baconmen and have the marrow sucked from our bones?


[Ed has shoved the kids into Eddy's rocket car, except for Kevin, who has yet to go in]
Kevin: Touch me with that broom, and I'll tear off your eyebrow.
[The Eds' rocket car has taken a hairy ride down an obstacle course, leaving the Ed's in pain]
Ed: I think I swallowed a turtle.
Eddy: What country are we in?
Edd: We're home, Eddy. And we've broken everything but a record.
Ed: Can I wear a dress again? Haha!

[edit] 1+1=Ed

Ed [staring at lava lamp]: Eddy, why does goo float?
Eddy: Hit the road!
[Ed eats his lava lamp]
Eddy: My lamp!
Ed: Eddy, why don't birds take a bus south for the winter?
Ed: Hello, light. [opens refrigerator and closes it, he does this all night until morning]
Ed: Carrots are good for your eyes, can they dial a phone?
Eddy: Look; if you're gonna strain your peanut brain, think of something useful like how to get your face on a dollar bill.
Ed: Eddy, why is someone in the kitchen with Dinah?
Eddy: Uh, Double D up yet?
Ed: My turn to jump on his head.
Ed: Look at me run! [slides into street to have his head under it, like a carpet] Home free!
Jimmy: [After his outline is pulled off] Fate has dealt a cruel hand. Darn it! [He turns into liquid and is washed away into the sewer]
Edd: Don't look now, but there's a cow floating overhead. I feel uncomfortable.
Eddy: Double-D, we've learned into fortune!
Edd: Don't let the excitement spoil your grammar, Eddy.
Eddy: Look around us! We've gotta be rich!
Sarah: [pops out of a floating dollhouse] Everything's broken! Fix it now!
Eddy: Shut your mouth, Sarah! Or, better yet, get rid of it! [Eddy takes Sarah's mouth off] I love taking things apart. [Sarah's mouth bites Eddy's head] Get her off, Double D!
Edd: Not a chance!


Edd: Did you eat the sun again, Eddy?
Ed: Can you guess what I'm doing?
Eddy: Get off my foot, Ed!
Edd: I think we're moving, Eddy.
[Zooms out showing that they're in the pupil of Kevin's eye]
Kevin: I can hear dorks, but I can't see dorks. Come on out and show yourselves! WWWHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAA!!
Ed [Whilst picking up a cloud] Cotton gravy!
Edd: Careful, Ed! You don't know where that's been.
Ed: Oh, it's right here, Double-D!
[The Eds snap back to reality, with the kids all staring at them]
Kevin: What are you doing?
The Eds: Er... Nothing.
Kevin: Right, except for being...
Sarah: Dorks!
Kevin [to Sarah, mildly impressed]: Yeah!
Jimmy: Why Can't we all just get along?
Ed: (jumps on Jimmy) Jimmy, you got your line back! (Twist his head) Is it on wrong?
Sarah: (Picks Ed up) Ed, leave Jimmy alone!
Ed: Baby Sister! Take your mouth off again! (pulls Sarah's face)
Rolf: Big Ed has lost his marbles?
Jimmy: Don't spill me.

[edit] Knock, Knock, Who's Ed?

[Jimmy discovers a doll at the door]
Jimmy: Look, Sarah! A talking doll!
[Jimmy pulls the string on the back]
Eddy' [to Ed]: Say something, stupid!
Ed: My head is snoring, make it stop!
[Jimmy screams]
Jimmy: Sarah! Boogeyman!

[edit] Know It All Ed

[The Eds are playing in a junkyard]
Eddy: I'm the King of the castle, and you're a dirty--
Ed and Edd: Dog pile!
[The Eds find a box containing turkey basters]
Eddy: What we have here, is a squirt gun.
Edd: Please, a squirt gun.
Eddy: What, yeah, a Canadian squirt gun.
Ed: Canadians are weird!

[He has a few squirt guns stuck to his face.]

Ed: I smell like fresh cut spring flowers, spewn across a babbling brook with a hint of lemon.

[edit] Dear Ed

Ed: Not to mention a duck!
Edd & Eddy: Huh?
Ed: What?
Edd: Huh?
Ed: When?
Eddy: Uh--
Edd: Ed.
Ed: Why?
[Ed and Eddy stare at him]
Eddy: Okay, Jonny! Play ball!
Edd: Your turn, Jonny.
Jonny: Oh boy, Plank and I played this all the time! (once the ball has been thrown to Bob it bounces back to Jonny and gives him a mark in the forehead)
Eddy: [Laughing] Bob spiked it!
Jonny: Did it leave a mark? I don't like Bob!
Jonny: [Pointing st Salty Sam] He's mad, I tell ya! MAD!
[Ed dances with a potted plant.]
Ed:What lovely weeds you have. (Pulls out the plant form the pot.) Oh, it's a wig! Sorry...
[Edd dances with a vase]
Edd: Dancing with a vase! Boy, have I reached an all time low.
[Eddy has kicked everyone out of his house]
Rolf: I was born to be wild, but the cage was too small.
Kevin: It was a dork fest!
Nazz: I can't believe I actually started to sweat.
Jonny: Huh? Who are you? Dance? B-b-but I REALLY like you! Daah! I-I-I'm outta here!
Eddy: Whoa, Jimbo! I've I special thing for you.
Ed: Sit down and say "Hello, Jonny."
Jonny: Hello?
Ed: Ask him how he is?
[Jonny stares at Ed]
Ed: Wait.
Edd: How are you, how are you.
Ed: I'm fine. Well, okay, a little hungry. [Jonny looks behind him and Edd and Eddy hide] Uh, feeling alone?
Jonny: Alone?
Ed: No one to have... [Jonny's big head blocks him]...conversations with?
Jonny: You read me like a map Ed. Am I that obvious?
Ed: Excuse me, Jonny. Meet a new friend at "Ed's Friend Store" and take Jonny there.

[edit] Hands Across Ed

[The Eds hide from Rolf and Kevin in the junkyard. Edd and Eddy find a large tire to hide in]
Rolf: I think I saw the ducks run here.
Kevin: Dorks, Rolf. Dorks.
Rolf: Dorks do not quack, Kevin.
Kevin: Whatever. Let's find 'em.
Ed: Kinda funky, huh guys?
Jonny: Plank tells jokes. [To Plank] Knock 'em dead, buddy!
[pause]
Jonny: [laughing] You're killing me!
Eddy: Next!!

[edit] Floss Yer Ed

[Ed has just hurt his tooth attempting to bite a coconut]
Ed [spitting out the coconut]: ARRGH!! MY TOOTH HURTS!!! For real.

[edit] In Like Ed

[Ed is seen with a car door under his arm as if he's driving. He's imitating sound effects of a truck, such as the horn and the engine]
Ed: Delivery, Mister?
[Eddy's looking on whilst he's fishing out objects from a cardboard box]
Eddy: Did you eat breakfast this morning, Ed?
Ed: It's for my table, Eddy! Car door - only 5 cents. Dad's canoe - 20 cents. Mom's dryer - only 15 cents. [Throwing a huge pile of objects onto his table] No price will be refused at Honest Ed's! [rips table that everything is sitting on off of itself] Table - 5 cents [it collapses] London Bridge is falling!
Ed: Um, Double D? [holds up coat hanger] What's this do?
Edd: That's just a coat hanger, Ed.
Ed: Oh. Mum's the word.
[When trying to spy on Kevin, Ed--still holding the coat hanger--is asked by Eddy where he hid the videocamera]
Ed: Only 'the Claaaw' knows...

[edit] Who Let The Ed In?

[Edd finds one of Ed's comics whilst Eddy pursues Ed and Jib]
Eddy [exhausted]: What's up with that guy?
Edd: Comics, Eddy. It's poison for the brain. This cancer has swallowed up Ed's mind, causing him to create an imaginary friend. I suggest re-education, through classic novels with weekly cerebrum massages. [Takes out recycling bin and puts comic in it]
Eddy: In your dreams. [walks away]
[Edd and Eddy try to ask Jonny about imaginary friends]
Jonny: Imaginary friend? What's that?
Eddy: [smiling] Come on, you know. An imaginary friend. [Glances at Plank]

[edit] Rambling Ed

Ed: But it wasn't me, Sarah! I always put the seat down!
Jimmy: The cavalry has arrived!
Sarah: What's your sock doing in my room?
Ed: Sleeping?
Sarah: Pick it up or I'll tell Mom!
Ed: Don't tell Mom, OK? (throws the sock and it hits Edd)
Edd: Curse these short legs! (Gets squished by Ed's incoming bag.) Well, there's my exercise for the day.
Eddy [sees Ed in the kitchen with Sarah's dolls]: Ed, what are you doing?!
Ed: Dressing the dolly. Oh, look at the pretty hat, Eddy.
Eddy: Get over it! If she told you to jump in a lake with a rock tied to your head, and wait for naked photos of you to develop so she could hand them out to all the kids in the cul-de-sac, would you?!
Ed: I had socks on Eddy.
Rolf: Filthy animals do not belong in Rolf's shed!
The Eds: Hiya, Rolf!
Rolf: Why are you in the trough of food spoils?
Ed: I'm hot tubbing!
Rolf: [His pointing finger gets jammed into Ed's mouth] Do not frazzle Rolf! Please do not contaminate the food, as pigs eat from it!
Rolf: May shower scum devour your head!
Rolf: May your nose fester with the rage of olives!
Rolf: THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!!!!!!!
Eds: 1, 2, 3! [they topple the shed]
Ed: Let's do it again!
[Rolf lifts up barn door]
Rolf: Having fun with my shed, Ed boys?! [comes inside the barn]
Edd: Is all well Rolf?
Ed: Wipe your feet please.
Rolf [Rips his shirt off in complete rage]: You have broken the celery stalk on the back of a sea urchin!!!!!
Eddy: What'd he say?
Rolf: '''SHAKLAHARM!!!!!!!!
[the screen goes black]
Rolf: The yeast has risen and tells me the future of the couch-creature Ed-boys. Do you hear it? The spirit of the rind speaks.
Ed: What does it say?
Eddy (sarcastically) Yeah. Tell us, O Swami!
Rolf: Ah yes, your future will begin by...[shows his muscles and a fist] CLEANING MY PIG PEN! [The Eds immediately get to work as to avoid punishment] Also your future will hold that you de-lice the chickens, shake the dew from the trees and brush the hair on the back of Rolf!!
Edd: [panicking] Gloves! I need gloves!
Ed: Pumpkins sure are bossy.
Eddy: Shut up, Ed!

[edit] Homecooked Eds

Lee: We're watching infomercials.
[All of the Eds look nervous]
Eddy: Uh... New Stench-Away deoderent keeps me dry and fresh.
[Eddy rubs Ed on Edd's armpit]
Lee: That junk wrecked my clothes.
Marie: Gimme that!
[Again, the Eds look nervous. Then, Edd immitates a siren]
Eddy: Backup! Requesting backup!
Ed: It's my turn to drive! [Ed puts his face on the screen] Beep! Transfer, please!
[Jonny has just rescued Plank from the Kankers' trailer]
May: Give me back my back scratcher!
Jonny: Scratch this!
[Jonny and Plank send the Kankers' trailer flying after setting off a slingshot connected to a mailbox]
[The Kankers' trailer lands onto the fence between the houses of Kevin and Eddy]
Kevin: What's a trailer doing on my... TRAILER?!
[Pushes The trailer]
Kevin: Stay off my lawn!
[Edd and Eddy attempt to push the trailer back to Kevin]
Ed: Uh, Kevin! You've got a... Oh, I guess you already noticed.
Marie: Now this is what I call a vacation.
[Couch slides down but comes back sliding]
Lee: Just like the cruise Mom took!
[Couch slides down the opposite way]
May [feeling unwell]: I'm feeling sea-sick.
Eddy: THEY'RE YOUR'S!!
Kevin: NO WAY! YOUR'S!!
Eddy: ED! HELP!!
Ed: 1 + 1 = 1 on a bun.
[Edd & Eddy are almost crushed]
Edd & Eddy: ED!!

[edit] To Sir With Ed

[Eddy is in his room]
Eddy [to his mother]: Hey, mom! Is dinner ready yet!
[pause]
[Ed arises from the fallen bathtub and sees soaked kids in the living room]
[An ice chicken head falls into Ed's hands]
Ed: [drops the head, eyes roll back, and is fainting] Chicken head!

[edit] Key To My Ed

Ed: No problem. I have a key. [puts his arm through one of his pant legs] I think it fell out of this hole in my pants.
Eddy: [looks at the key] Ed, you idiot! This is your key!!
Ed: Did I go somewhere?
Eddy: Nah. Just rest that empty little head, Ed.
Eddy: Shut up, Double D! Ed, did you understand anything Double D said?
Eddy: Oh, Ed, (throws key from hook, which sticks to his finger) go get the key!
Ed: Table for two!

[edit] Honor Thy Ed

Kankers: Here come the brides! [May gives out a wolf whistle]
Eddy: Kankers? Brides?
Edd: The Kankers tricked us!! It's a wedding, Eddy!!!
Ed: But I can't dance, Eddy!
Ed: Do you think there will be a reception?
(Eddy is pushing Edd and Ed to the haunted house)

Ed:(sneezes away dandelions) Ah...ah...ah...CHOO!

[edit] Scrambled Ed

Edd [feeling tired]: Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy...

[Double D falls asleep while giving Eddy plans for the Sea Ranch]

Edd: (Incoherent gibberish)

[Eddy hits Double D upside the head with a car muffler]

Edd: PARALLEL TO THE CAR SEAT!
Eddy: Thank you.

[edit] Urban Ed

[The kids see the Eds have built a city]
Kevin: Hoo-rah! The dorks did something cool for once.
Eddy [pretending to drive a car]: What is this, a funeral?! Let's go, Grandma!
[Ed and Eddy are dropping bird droppings (yogurt) on an unsuspecting Nazz and Edd. Ed lifts an anvil to drop on Nazz.)
Eddy [stunned]: Ed, you're gonna hurt somebody! This ain't a cartoon.

[edit] Stop, Look, and Ed

[Ed is smacking his face against some mud]
Ed: I'm a woodpecker. [continues to smack his face into the mud] Except with dirt.
Eddy: (out of the grass) Let's find some more signs! (runs off)
Eddy: (Holds a 'Joy of Rules' book) Joy of Rules? Man Double D, get a life! (Holds up a fish)
Edd: Eddy, no!
(he smacks the fish on the book)
Edd: Okay! That's it! I'm gonna give you such a thrashing! [Edd's hat comes off, but we only see the hat, not his head]
Eddy: Geez Louise!
Ed: Cool.
Edd: [puts the hat back on and camera lowers to Double D] If you say one word to anyone, I'll never speak to you again!
Ed [wearing a skull on his head, tossing garbage from the wastebasket]: I am dead from the neck up!
Eddy: I'll just save it and use it for ammo when I need you, Double D.
Ed: Eddy is always a step ahead.
[The Eds are put in a suspended birdcage and look outside the window and try to get Rolf's and Johnny's attention with signs]
Eddy: Help!
Edd: Please assist!
Ed: Ketchup!
Eddy: Now we're making progress!
Ed: [holding ant farm] Yum, like cheese?
Edd: No, Ed. Progress, not (sees Ed with ant farm) PROCESS! Put them down, Ed! You leave my ants alone! (Ed drops ant farm, releasing all of the ants; gasps) (wraps legs around Ed's neck) 5,239 ants, Ed! (squeezes Ed's neck tighter, causing him to choke) PICK THEM UP! PICK THEM UP!
Eddy: Slow down, Double D.
Ed: [raspy; to Double D] I'm...sorry.

[edit] Rent-a-Ed

Edd: [lifting hat out of eyes] I cann't bear to look. Has Rolf-[sees Ed with tied support beam] IS THAT THE SUPPORT BEAM TO THE HOUSE?!
Ed: What's a support beam?
Edd: [house starts shaking] This has been quite a day.
[Jonny's house is destroyed after Ed broke a support beam]
Kevin: You guys are in so much trouble!
Eddy: Tell me about it, I lost my money.

[edit] Shoo Ed

[The Eds are in a shed, attempting to make Jonny the most annoying person in the cul-de-sac. Ed laughs as he pulls down a bed reminiscent of Frankenstein. Edd and Eddy look at Jonny, who's wearing a suit]
Edd: A suit, annoying? I spent two hours counter-balancing chains, and all you can come up with is a suit?
Eddy: It was the most annoying thing I could find.
Edd: My father wears a suit!
Eddy: Exactly.
[Ed glues a wooden block to Jonny's foot]
Ed: I glued a block of wood to Jonny's foot.
Edd: Ed, why did you glue a wooden block to Jonny's foot? Why these chains? And why the suit? Why Jonny?!
Eddy: Jonny, people like it when you say "WHY" ALL THE TIME!
(Edd gets an annoyed look)
Jonny: They do? Why? Why? Why? Why? (Eddy starts to laugh)
Ed: And people really like when you poke it on the head! (Starts poking Eddy) See? Eddy likes it!
Jonny: [loudly, shooting rancid stanch of anchovies from his mouth] YEE HAW!!
Eddy: [smiles] JONNY, THAT'S GOLD! Do it again!
Jonny: [Doing as he was told] YEE HAW!!
Ed: [fanning his face while smiling] Long tide.
[Jonny is seen hiding in a birdhouse]
Jonny: YEE HAW!!
Jimmy: Sarah, he's gonna scare the swallows.
Sarah: Jonny, get out of there!
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: Cause I said so.
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: Cause your bugging us!
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: CAUSE YOU'RE STUPID!
Jonny: Why?
Jimmy: Why won't he just go away?
Eddy: For a lousy quarter, let us get that Jonny out of that tree.
Sarah: Get lost, butthead!
Jimmy: But Sarah, think of the swallows.
Sarah: Oh brother!
[Jimmy pays the Eds]
Jimmy: Swallows are cute.
[Edd is trying to provoke Jonny down with a broom, in preparation of annoying Rolf]
Jonny: Poke, poke! [Jonny pulls on the broom Edd's using, banging him into the door of the box-like crate Jonny is in] Why? [bang] Why? [bang] Why? [bang] YEE HAW! [Edd gets the broom out, but it's dissolved by Jonny's stinky breath]

[edit] Ed In A Halfshell

Edd [to Ed]: Theatrics do not forge good learning skills.
Eddy: Hey, do you mind? Mister I-Know-Everything-About-Nothing?!
Ed [to Edd]: "Shush!"
Ed: Shh, My yeast is rising!"
Edd: Eddy, wait. I-I have a history with this game I- [gasps] What's that? Deep rooted images, Eddy. Like tentacles, strangulating every rational nerve. Oh, I'm reliving it, Eddy!
Eddy: [shows him the ball with bucktooth Double D drawn on it] But it's got your face on it, Double D!
Edd: Listen to me, Eddy. Eddy?! [Eddy readies himself to throw the ball] IT'S GYM CLASS ALL OVER AGAIN! [wails loudly]

[edit] Mirror Mirror On the Ed

[Ed is seen standing on thin air]
Edd and Eddy: Come back, Ed!
Ed: I can jump it, guys!
Edd and Eddy: No, Ed!! [They pull him back before he could even jump]
Edd: Now what?
Eddy: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Ed: Can I think?
Edd and Eddy: NO!
[Jonny is seen wearing trash cans on his arms, and acting as if he was a fly]
Jonny: Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Jonny! Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Jonny! Buzz, buzz-
[Jonny crashes into tree whilst the other kids, excluding Nazz, are laughing]
Nazz: You shouldn't have dared Jonny to buzz off, Kevin.
Ed: Eddy, truth or dare?
Eddy: Okay, dare, Ed.
Ed: Okay, Eddy. I dare you to spread the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling Row Row Row Your Boat through a car wash.
Edd: Ed, try a more reasonable dare, please.
Ed: Ok I dare Eddy to be Double-D.

[edit] Hot Buttered Ed

Edd: Oh, look at this now! Dried potatoes that may contain dextrose, salts, and saturated fats; all over my sleeping bag!
Eddy: Double D made a mess in his sleeping bag, Ed.
[It's sunset, and people are leaving the beach, except for the Eds]
Edd: Assistance, please! Assistance!
[Ed and Eddy turn their attention toward Edd, who is completely sunburnt all over his body]
Eddy: What's with you?
Edd: Mother Nature is sooo unforgiving.
Ed: I am a lizard. I can change colors!! I have become CHAMELEON MAN! [turns to Eddy] You can be my sidekick, Frogmouth Kid!! And Double D is our butler, ummm...Double D!!

[edit] High Heeled Ed

Ed: My sister likes to watch me eat custard from my belly button.

(The other Eds stare at him in shocked silence.)

Ed: I smell waffles, guys!
Eddy: Shut up, Ed![Eddy grabs him and pulls him out of the sewer]
Nazz: Here's your money back, Jimmy. [to the Eds] Grow up!
Sarah: Wait 'till you get home, Ed!
Jimmy:Charlatons!
Ed: Spending an extended time in female company can be mentally disorienting and physically confusing.
Eddy: What's with you?
Edd: Ed's trouser-less state seems to have jogged an intellectual state within the confinds of his brain.
Eddy: Ed? Is that you?
Ed: Hug me!
Eddy: Well that didn't last long!
Ed: Hug! (Hugs Eddy)
Eddy: Put me down, I don't wanna! (steps on Ed and jumps the fence)
Ed: Double D, my friend!
Edd: Please! Ed, no, wait! (jumps the fence)
Ed: (breaks the fence) Hug me!
Edd: Ed, you're in your underwear!
Ed: Okay, I feel loved now.

[edit] Fa-La-La-La-Ed

Edd: We're not allowed to play up here, fellows. [Ed and Eddy continue to sneak into other rooms] I repeat, upstairs is off limits!
Eddy: Get over it, Ed, it's July! Anyways, Christmas stinks. All I ever get is clothes.
Ed: That's because Santa knows you're a naughty boy, Eddy.
Eddy [after attempting to bite Ed's hand]: Santa don't know squat!
Ed [Holding Eddy by the mouth] DON'T EVER SAY THAT, EDDY!! He's making his list and checking it twice.
[Ed exposes the scam to the kids]
Edd [tearful]: Oh, I'm so ashamed...
[Edd breaks down, whilst Ed comforts him]
Ed: There, there, Double D. Santa forgives.
[The Eds are singing Christmas carols in order to get money]
The Eds [singing]: We made you laugh, so give up your cash and cheer will come your way!
The Eds [singing]: Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la, give us cash or we'll never stop singing, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
The Eds [singing]: We wish you a Merry Christmas! we- [Eddy and Edd stop singing when they see Rolf's pajamas]
Ed: ...wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! So give us some cash!
Rolf: No cash. [places a strip of bacon into the jar] A fine strip of bacon, yes?

[edit] Cry Ed

Ed: Look up my nose and see your future.
Jonny: Boy Eddy, you're a mess!
Eddy: Oh, is that you Jonny? It was horrible. [fake cough]. It came out of nowhere. [fake cough]. Did I say it was horrible?
Ed: Horrible it was! A giant Swedish meatball with a blood-curdling scream grabbed Eddy in its drooling ground chuck. [does a swallowing sound over and over]
Edd: Please.
Rolf: Rolf has seen this meatball! It stalks Wilfred in the dead of night!
Kids: Oooh!
[Jimmy has just been bandaged up by Sarah, and tries to catch up with her]
Ed [disguised as a bush]: Meatball!
Jimmy: AHHH!! MOTHER NATURE IS ATTACKING AGAIN!!
[Jimmy is taken into the bush]
Edd [setting Jimmy up into a bubble suit]: We're here to help, Jimmy. For your's and Eddy's sake. Safety is my prime concearn.
[Eddy races down the lane via frying pan]
Eddy: RUNAWAY FRYING PAN!! [Eddy sees the other kids] Ahh, my audience. [To the kids] I'M IN TROUBLE, FOLKS!
[Eddy crashes against the side of a dumpster]
[Rolf is looking upward at Eddy falling towards him, dressed in a boiler]
Rolf: Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf!
Kevin: What are you talking about, man?
Rolf: Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf, must I spell it? We have guests.
[Eddy crash-lands on top of them]
[Eddy, dressed in a boiler, has crash-landed on top of Rolf and Kevin]
Eddy: Hello?! Where did everybody go?
Kevin: Well, what do you know? Canned Dork! Allow me to introduce you to my knuckles.
Eddy: *laughter* Forget your glasses at home? I'm invincible. You'll hurt your hand.
Rolf: Consume your strength, Kevin. As you will need it for the Ed-boy thrashing. Rolf can see a shoddy spotwelding from a distance of twenty goats!
Eddy: Hey! [Rolf lays Eddy down] Quit wasting your time, Rolfie boy.
[Rolf bashes his tongue against the boiler Eddy's wearing]
Kevin: You're a freak, dude.
Rolf: Behold.
[Eddy is laughing, but it soon stops when his armour is sliced in half]
Kevin: Pick a body part, Rolf.
Rolf: I am quite partial to pig, Kevin.
[Ed and Edd are watching from up above the crater where Eddy landed]
Edd: This is not good.
[Eddy is beaten up by Rolf and Kevin]
Eddy [whilst in mid-air]: This is great! Go get the kids, quick, Double D.
Edd: "Do this, Double D!" "Do that, Double D!" Ooh, bossy, bossy, bossy!
[Edd goes over to find the kids whilst Ed looks on at Rolf and Kevin attacking Eddy]

[edit] Season 3

[edit] Wish You Were Ed

Ed: I wish I wish I was a fish.
Ed: I can't dance Rolf.
Rolf: [smacks Ed's hand while dancing] That's my horse!
[Ed looks uncertain as Rold holds out his hands.]
Rolf: Give it up for Rolf?
Ed: [smacks Rolf's hands] That's my horse?
Rolf: Yes, that's my horse! [smack back of Ed's head harder]
Ed: [with a large plank of wood coming out of the back of his pants, with two chickens on top] Mush, mush, mush- [falls into a hole Rolf has dug]
Rolf: [to Eddy] Your village idiot has fallen in Rolf's hole. A celebration, I say!
Eddy: Eh, sure, why not?

[edit] Momma's Little Ed

Eddy: This is Mommies note, and my exact copy. Pretty good, huh? He'll never tell the difference!
Ed: That is so lame, Eddy.
Eddy: And you're like a human photocopier, right, Mr. Perfecto?
Ed: Dare to compare. [Shows Eddy an identical sticky note to the one written by Edd's parents.]]
Eddy: Will you ever cease to amaze me, Ed?
Ed: Yes I will.
Lee: [to Ed and Eddy] Well, whatd'ya know, if it ain't Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
Edd: IT'S THE STICKY NOTES OF THE APOCALYPSE!!
Ed: I cut the air in two! This side's yours, Double D!
Edd: We can share the air, Ed.
Eddy: It's gonna take me forever to fix all this air!
Eddy: It was Ed's fault and Kevin, as usual
Edd: Kevin?
Eddy: Yeah, that square headed jerk!
Edd: But Kevin isn't in this episode, Eddy.

[edit] Once Upon An Ed

Eddy: I have a bad feeling about this.
Ed: I don't have any feeling at all.
Edd: The square root of a piece of pie? Please, Eddy. Your story is fictional! Your exaggerated tale can only be described as cockamamie!
Ed: Tsk tsk tsk... I have never heard such language...
Eddy: Kankers!
[The giant Kankers slam their heads together to make one.]
Eddy: Ed, your story's getting weird!
Kevin: Good one, mister Eddy! I'm such a dork!!

[edit] For Your Ed Only

[The Eds have just tied Kevin to a tree, in an attempt to hide Sarah's diary]
Kevin: You guys have reached a new low in dork history!
Eddy: Jealous? Hasta la vista! [runs off laughing]
Edd: I do apologize for the abrupt accomodations, Kevin... C'est la vie! [runs off to join Ed and Eddy]
Kevin: This show needs subtitles...
[Edd is attempting to seal his mouth with duck tape after saying some underhanded idea to Eddy]
Ed: Tape!
[Edd comes out fully wrapped in tape]

Ed: I'm in my happy place, Double-D.

Ed: It's Sarah! We are so doomed, help me guys. She will tell mom, and mom will tell dad, and he will say "Not now, I just got home from work!" I'm not in my happy place, guys!!

[The Eds attempt to escape Sarah using bubble gum, but ends up deflating when Edd's mouth can't keep up with the chewing]
Ed [As they fall]: Have mercy, child from the netherworld!

[edit] It Came From Outer Ed

Eddy: [banging on Ed's window] Help! Ed, save us! Help, Ed!
Ed: Evil Tim's got Eddy!
Eddy: [from window]: Up here, blockhead!
Ed: Eddy! I got a new comic.
Eddy: So what? We're being attacked.
Ed: It is the curse of Evil Tim!
Eddy: Look, Ed! Evil Tim is sucking Jimmy in!
Ed: Crush the monster!
Edd: Look at the size of that Northern Dutch Elm!
Ed: The curse has past! You are safe!
Jonny: Holey Moley!
Rolf: Rolf is amused!
Nazz: So, where's Jimmy, dude?
Sarah [worried]: Jimmy!
Ed: Jimmy?
Eddy: You gotta love him.
Ed: Huup! Speak to me, Jimmy!
Ed: Double D! Not you too!
Ed: I feel funny.
Ed: [grabs some dirt] Boing! It's a lightbulb.
Edd: Q? Ed, where's the X?
Ed: Uhh, A, B, C, D, L, M, N, O, G. Don't you know your alphabet, Double-D?
[Ed throws Jimmy's doll, Mr. Yum Yum, onto the Q]
Ed: Good work, Double D. It looks just like a Q.
Edd: Excuse me? Ed, I think somewhere along the line you lost your train of thought! Your plan is irrational, muddled, and inconsequential! [Ed begins eating a dog treat] Is that a doggy treat?
Ed: What's the rock for, Double D?
[Edd drops the rock on his foot]
Edd: MY FOOT!
Eddy: My head!!
Ed: You're late, Eddy!!
Eddy: [grabs Ed by the throat] Why'd ya take the rabbit?! GIVE BACK JIMMY'S MR. YUM-YUM!!!!
Edd: Mr. Yum-Yum?
Eddy: [grabs Edd by the shirt] You know I'm gonna get you for this!!

[edit] 3 Squares And An Ed

[Sarah and Jimmy encounter Jonny, who is dressed up as a leprachaun, whereas Plank is a four-leafed cover]
Jonny [in an Irish accent]: Howdy! Howdy! Catch me, and I'll give you me pot of gold.
Eddy: What happened to the stairs??
Ed: My parents took them down because I am grounded!!
Edd: That's disturbing.
Eddy: Nah, they can keep the stairs, cause you can jump it!
Ed: (in fear) But I am grounded, Eddy!
Eddy: Yeah, yeah. We heard a million times. Let me help, Ed. (grabs a big safety pin)
Edd: (terrified) Eddy, NO!!!
Eddy: What's your problem? (with the safety pin on the concrete, Eddy lean Ed to it) Okay, Ed. just lean back.
Ed: (jumping out of the room to the living room) Alleyoop!
Edd: Gracious!
Eddy: Geronimo! (arriving there) Behold, the gates to freedom! (about to open the door) After me.
(The Eds get smacked when Sarah opens it)
(the Eds get out of Ed's house) Eddy: How's it feel to be back outside, Ed?
Ed: OUTSIDE ED!?!? BUT I AM GROUNDED EDDY!!!!!

[edit] Dueling Eds

Eddy:What could be more important than "Master Eddy"?
Ed: COOKIE DOUGH!
Edd: They say, in order to gain knowledge, one must seek it.
Edd: Eddy, show some respect!
Eddy: What's your problem?
Ed: It's his hat, Eddy. He always wears it and he talks forever about stuff, not to mention his obsession with cleanliness, big problem.
Ed: Hurry up guys, before he gets up! Rolf has such good parties!
Edd: No, Ed. We'll leave... this way!
[Edd pulls Ed back onsrceen]
Edd: Boy, you're heavy, Ed.
Edd: If you were just to apologize...
Eddy: *interrups Edd* Apologize!? For what!? I didn't DO ANYTHING!!!
Edd: But you did, Eddy! By simply tossing the sea cucumber ball, you insulted Rolf's...
Eddy: *interrups Edd* Oh boo! I hurt Rolf's stinky fishball!
Edd: It's not a fishball, Eddy! You've hurt Rolf's feelings!
Eddy: I didn't do anything.
Ed: Why don't you bake cupcakes, Eddy?
Edd: Cupcakes!?
Eddy: Older Bro's right. All this talking about food is making me hungry.
Edd: Ahh very well then, bake your cupcakes! But offer them to Rolf as a token of apology.
Eddy: No. No cupcakes.
Ed: Awwwww"!
Edd: FINE! Then if you won't apologize I WILL!
[Eddy gives a buried Rolf a plant as means of apology]
Eddy: Here you go, Rolf, I'm sorry for hurting your whatever.
[Rolf reaches up and feels the plant, then rises out of the dirt]
Ed: It lives! Hiya Rolf!
Eddy: Hiya, Stretch, nice plant, huh? Don't forget to water it.
Rolf: You mock Rolf yet again, with the Potted Shrub of Ridicule?
Eddy: The what?
Rolf: For the honor of Rolf's Great Nano, I challenge you to a duel!
Ed: Holy mackerel!
Edd: Yes, I believe you're right, Ed.
Edd: Oh, dear. Rolf's customs have a frighteningly high budget!
Rolf: In a duel, two must fight, two, duel, duel, two. Why do you not fight Rolf?!?!?!
Eddy: Oh, is it my turn?
Rolf: Hit Rolf!
[Eddy tries to smack Rolf with the fish, but Rolf hits him first and throws him off the log]
Edd: Eddy?
Rolf: The Honour of Rolf's ancestors has been avenged! Thank you.
Kevin [After Eddy's duel with Rolf] Want a copy for future dork reference? [laughs and walks away with his video camera]
[Following this duel, The Eds are sharing a celebration with Rolf, by having their pants filled with eels]
Rolf: Come, Kevin! Join us in our jubilation.
Kevin [in disgust]: I'll pass, dude.
Rolf [offended]: Son of a gun! You insult Rolf by denying the eels?!
Edd: Ooh! Ed, are you enjoying this?
Ed [scratching himself]: I feel weird guys, I think I'm allergic to eels.
[symptoms take place, as Ed's body is shaped as a fish]
Eddy: FISH FACE!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!
Ed: Could someone scratch my scales?
Eddy: EEWW!!!

[edit] Dim Lit Ed

Kevin: Is this thing supposed to be dead?
Eddy: The iguana ain't dead, windbag. It's just, uhh... [nudges Edd]
Edd: ...Sleeping like a baby, Kevin. That'll be 25 cents!
Jonny [lays down a quarter]: SOLD!
Edd [stares at the quarter]: I'm surrounded by idiots.
Eddy: Who's complaining?

[edit] Will Work for Ed

Rolf [to Eddy]: Rolf requires one with the backbone of a yak. This is no job for a jellyfish like yourself.
[Ed is about to start work at Rolf's farm, but attempts to get there by car]
Edd: Ed, no! You're too young to drive!
[Eddy laughs at what's happening]
[Ed arrives at Rolf's front door in preparation for work. Ed falls down in the process]
Ed: Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. [Rolf opens the door] I brought my lunch, boss.
Eddy [chanting]: Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna...
Jonny [interrupts Eddy]: We hate broccoli!
Eddy [continues]: ...ain't gonna work.
Eddy [to Edd]: Go blow your whistle Mr. Referee. I got a nuisance to make out of myself.
Edd: He's so stubborn. [Rolf opens the door before Edd knocks] Oh.. Hello Rolf.
Eddy [chanting again]: Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna- [Eddy then sees Rolf let Ed and Edd in] Rolf's letting him in!

[edit] Ed, Ed and Away

[Eddy is fighting Sarah and Jimmy over the balloon]
Eddy: Gimme that balloon, Sarah!
Sarah: [Mocking Eddy] "Gimme, Gimme" never gets!

[edit] X Marks the Ed

[The Eds are fishing, and Ed finds his freezer experiment]
Ed: Oh, goody goody! It's my freezer experiment! I wondered where Sarah hid it. Well, that's a keeper!!
Edd and Eddy [warning him not to put his experiment back in the pond]: No, Ed!!
Ed: Who brought the tartar sauce?
Ed [referring to his pimples on his back] I make a game out of mine, Eddy, cause I'm productive. You can play "Connect the Dots". See? It's a boat.
Ed: I claim this planet in the name of Ed, bringer of bacon!
Eddy: Will you hurry up? My arms are fallin' asleep!
Eddy: [shrunken head, high-pitched voice] What happened to my head?!
Ed: It is so puny!
Edd: [suddenly takes out notepad and pencil] This is worthy of a nobel prize!
Eddy: WHAT'D YA DO TO ME, YA QUACK?!
Rolf: Quack? I am Rolf.
Eddy: YOU'RE A QUACK! QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!!!!!
Rolf: I am not a duck; I am Rolf!
Edd: How did you know what ingredients would react in such ways to come to this conclusion?
Rolf: What?!
Ed: My turn for shrinkage, Rolf!
Eddy: Fix me!
Edd: Tell me!
Ed: Shrink me!
Rolf: Stay Back! [runs away]
Eddy: GET 'IM! [all run after Rolf] Wait'll I get my hands on you! FIX MY HEAD, YA QUACK!!!!!

[edit] From Here to Ed

[Ed shows Edd and Eddy some disgusting objects, as a weapon to use on Kevin]
Edd: Where did you exhume this from, Ed?
Ed: Brick-a-brack from under my bed, Double D.

[edit] Ed or Tails

[Eddy is attempting to sell his clown scam to Jimmy]
Eddy: Are you un- unconshi... (shows the word to edd)
Edd: Unconcious, Eddy.
Eddy: Dead from the neck up?

[edit] Boys Will Be Eds

Kevin [in thought]: She's so radical!
Eddy [in thought]: She can't keep her eyes off me!
Edd [in thought]: Her hair is so clean... And not fly-away at all!
Ed [thinking and echoing]: Hello Echo! MY NAME IS ED Eddy nazz will love the new bike
   Cillian  or new potty?!

[edit] Gimme Gimme Never Ed

[The Eds' "Requiem for a Whiplash" ride ends with them flying into the distance, and dropping their money near Jonny and Plank]
Jonny: Well, what do you know. We got a refund. What's that?
[Jonny hears Plank out]
Jonny: Hey, Eddy! Plank says you owe him a buck for the ride! [laughter] Good one, buddy.

[edit] My Fair Ed

[Ed and Eddy are about to start their first lesson in proper etiquite]
Eddy: Tell me again, Ed. Why are we wearing these bandages on our heads?
Ed: For free lunch from Double D, Eddy Mcgee!
[Both Ed and Eddy laugh]
Eddy: Tell me again, Ed. Why?
Ed: Cause Double D said so, Eddy the... uh... I dunno!
[Both Eds break into laughter]
Eddy: You're a riot, Ed!
Ed and Eddy [singing]: Food, food, food, food, food, food, food,...
Eddy [after Edd takes a bandage off his head]: Hey, that's three! No more bandages!
Ed and Eddy: BROCOLLI!! AHHHHHH!! RUN AWAY!!
Edd: How dare you mess with my emotions!!

[edit] Rock-A-Bye Ed

Ed: I was in my happy place lost in the void of my mind!

[edit] O-Ed Eleven

Ed: I am a brother and Eddy's brother is a brother and Eddy is a brother to Eddy's brother as a brother I am!
Edd: Um... Nicely put, Ed!
Eddy: Oh, brother.
[The Ed's have found out that the "secret stash", belonging to Eddy's brother, is hidden underneath the Kankers' trailer]
Eddy: My brother's a whizz at ticking me off!
[The Eds avoid the Kankers by disguising as sewer workers]
Edd: Ed, please zip up you're gym bag. we're quite done with it.
Ed [taking the gym bag]: It's more than just a gym bag, Double D! It's a way of life!

[edit] The Luck of the Ed

Eddy: Quick! Hide these magazines!
Ed: [confused] Hide these magazines?
Eddy: [panicking] What are ya? A parrot? Hide these magazines!
Ed: Hide where?! What?! Who?! [Eddy pushes Ed to hide the box of magazines]
Eddy: Numbskull. [Eddy runs back inside his room; Eddy yelling to his mom offscreen] Oh come on, Mom, not that! Wait! I need that stuff!" [Eddy comes out of his house with all of his stuff in a garbage can; sees Double D laying next to his door] Quit laying around Double D, my cleaning my room and she's making me throw out all my cool stuff. But luckily, I was able to save the... [looks around and talks in a secretive manner] magazines.
[Double D blushes with a smile]
Eddy: "Shh, if Kevin knew about this, he'd take my magazines for his own viewing pleasure."
Edd: "Time's a wastin'." [chuckles] "I've always wanted to say that."

[edit] Ed... Pass It On...

Kevin:I'm wearin' the barf bag!
Nazz:Where's THAT on the menu, Kevin?
Jonny:(to Plank) What do you mean an Ed Turkey a la King for you and a couple of breadsticks for the bald kid?
Edd: Nice presentation, Ed! [To Jonny] And here you are, one Ed Turkey A La King!
Jonny: FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!
[Ed is sitting in the pan, naked, as the turkey]
Edd: ED!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO USE A REAL TURKEY!!
Ed [pouring sauce on himself]: Stuffing, anyone?
Eddy [claping the pan lid back on Ed]: IDIOT!!
Eddy: R-E-S-P-E-E-K! Respect, Double-D!
Jonny: Come on, Kevin! Tell us your secret! We won't tell anyone, we're loners!
Ed: Did he miss another bus again Eddy? Buses can be so cruel!
Ed: Party at Kevin's house!!
Ed: Got any dip?
Kevin: I'll dip you, you dork!
Eddy: You dare hit the brother of Eddy's brother!?
Sarah: Brothers are stupid.
Ed: Who wants to play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey?"
Eddy: Shut up, Ed!

[edit] Brother, Can You Spare an Ed

Eddy: Double D, that sounds so real!
Edd: Don't rub salt in the wound, Eddy. You know how much I detest this instrument.
Eddy: Come on, you're settin' the mood, Double D. The music, the plan, the lump.
Ed [hoola dancing]: 1, 2, 3, 4, stick it out, right out the door!
Ed: Sarah has trusted me with the money, so fudge I must buy it with!

[edit] The Day the Ed Stood Still

Edd [worried]: I can't believe it! I've actually created a monster!!
Ed: I am bed buddy! Sleep on me!
Edd and Eddy: [in unison] ED!!

[the Eds are making a monster costume for Ed]

Eddy: You better not mess this up, Lumpy.

[camera scrolls up to Ed]

Ed: I will be the best monster I can be!
Edd: Now Ed, put this on.

[Edd puts the mask on Ed]

Wow. I feel transformed, guys!
Edd: Wait here, let me get a mirror. You look very convincing!

[edit] If It Smells Like an Ed

Jimmy: Brother Rolf, are you still eating your friendship duties?
Rolf: No. [muffling]
Jimmy: Silly! I'm trying to pull your leg, silly. Thank you, friends! All about friends working together. Isn't that right, Brother Jonny?
Jonny: You bet your sweet patootie, Brother Jimmy!
Sarah: This papier mache heart was a great idea, Brother Jimmy.
Jimmy: Sister Sarah...
Sarah: Yes, Brother Jimmy?
[Jimmy taps Sarah on the nose while it is still stained with paint]
Jimmy: Gotcha!
[All of the kids laugh]
Sarah: You little rascal, you.
Jonny [whilst giving Plank a hug]: I love you too, buddy.
Nazz: Hey, guys, what's going on?
Edd [compiling a list of suspects]: Now let's see ... it couldn't have been Jimmy ...
Eddy: I wouldn't put money on it. Everyone's jealous of our talent, charm and good looks and Jimmy's one of them.
Edd: Well Sarah wouldn't have the patience to ...
Eddy: Sarah hates us!
Edd: Okay, then there's Jonny ...
Eddy: He secretly hates us.
Edd: Nazz?
Eddy: Well...She hates you!
Edd: [After a short pause] Thank you for reinforcing that phobia, Eddy ... well last but not least there's Kevin and ... he hates us.
Edd [patting Ed]: Why Ed, that's very good
Eddy [ever the sceptic]: Hold that thought. So, who did it Ed?
Ed: Simple my fine friend. It was a foot!
Eddy [to Edd]: Hard to believe he can dress himself isn't it?
Ed: [walking on his hands, with his bandaged feet in the sleeves of his shirt, as he is dressed upside-down] I should have all the feeling back in my feet after this word from our sponsors, Double D.
Edd: Curse broadcast commercialism.

[edit] Don't Rain on My Ed

Eddy: FREE JAWBREAKERS, DOUBLE D!!!

[edit] Once Bitten, Twice Ed

Eddy: WELCOME TO FRIDGELAND!!

[edit] An Ed In the Bush

Ed: End of first sequence and fade to black.
The Eds are playing pranks and mind games on the Urban Rangers in the forest, but Edd is concerned.
Edd: This would be so much more bareable if I'd had my PROVISIONS!
Silence.
Eddy: [sarcastically] What's that? ... I think it's the sound of no one caring! [pause] Move it out!
Ed acts like a horse. Edd is annoyed.
Ed and Eddy are laughing after pranking the Urban Rangers, while Edd is worried about getting caught.
Edd: Boy, Eddy, I really feel bad about this! Can we please go now!?
Eddy: [in the verge of laughter] Ed, did you get a load of their faces when the fire went out?
Ed: [imitates the Urban Rangers' reactions] Ooh! [laughs]
Eddy: [holds up quarter that Rolf tossed in the bushes] I even made a quarter! [joins in laughing] Oh, man! [stop laughing] Okay, Double-D. Let's get out of here. [Edd is gone]
Sarah is looking for Ed.
Sarah: ED!! You're in trouble, mister! [looks annoted, storms into Ed's room] ED!!!!!
Sarah hears whimpering from Ed's closet. She opens it to find all three Eds cowering in fear.
Sarah: Mom said to get out of the closet, Ed. It's been three days, now.
The Eds: BELLY BUTTON EATER!! [cowering]
Sarah: What idiots.
Sarah closes the closet and episode end.

[edit] See No Ed

[The kids are playing on a skateboard, and Jonny's just about to drop into the quarterpipe]
Sarah [taking the skateboard from Jonny]: Wait in line, Jonny! It's Jimmy's turn.

[edit] Is There an Ed in the House?

  • Edd: Let's pick a theme, shall we? Would you like to pose with a beach ball or this sumptuous lollipop?

Rolf: No sump, as Rolf perfers his churm of soft-spread butter.
Eddy: There, he picked! Now get out of the way, so I can take the picture.
Rolf: May Rolf order one eight by ten glossy with many wallet size photos for his relatives?
Eddy: Whatever you want, Rolfie boy. I'll just up it on the bill.
Edd: Ok Rolf, look at me. Smile for the tawdry sock puppet. That's it, you can do it! Yes, you can! That a boy!
Eddy: Hahaha! Is it finished yet?
(bell rings)
Edd: Weellll, I'll just check on those prints, shall I?
Ed: I am done, guys!
Edd: Um, Ed... what is that behind Rolf?
Ed: Rolf's head is about to be crunched by a four-legged mutant bus driver.
Eddy: You're supposed to draw a picture of Rolf. No monsters, just Rolf.
Ed: Oh yeah. Rub it out, rub it out, rub it out.
Jimmy: Where do you keep your hot water bottle?
Eddy: Hey Jimmy, take a hike! Ed's busy.
Ed: Under the sink, Jimmy!
Rolf: Hello? How long must Rolf wait for this portary of self love?
Edd: Any time now. Rolf's becoming impatient, Eddy.
Jimmy: How about the vaporizer, stretch?
Ed: Top shelf, shorty.
Eddy: Hey! Go bug Sara, you little pest!
Jimmy: For your information, crabby pants, Sarah is sick and I must take care of her.
Eddy: We should all be so lucky.
Ed: Sarah's sick? Wait! Big brother's coming, baby sister!
Eddy: Ed, get back here!
Edd: Oh dear, I hope it's nothing serious. I best get my medical bag; one can never be too sure.
Eddy: Uhhh... gee, Rolf, you got a face only a mother could love.
Rolf: ED BOYS!


  • Jimmy: There there, little frail one; Jimmy will take care of you.

Ed: Ed is here to make you all better, Sarah.
Sarah: (sniff) I feel hot.
Jimmy: Ah, let me sooth you.
Sarah: Thank you, Jimmy.
Ed: Big brothers take care of baby sisters.
Sarah: My pillow needs fluffing.
Jimmy: There you go, Sarah.
Ed: No let, me, sickly sister!
Sarah: Ahhhh...
Jimmy: Am I a good fluffer, Sarah?
Sarah: Yes you are, Jimmy.
Eddy: What a load of...
Edd: Pardon me, Eddy. Please step aside, everyone. Well, your pulse is normal.
Eddy: I bet it is.
Jimmy: Sarah's got a fever, Mr. Smarty Pants.
Ed: Yeah, I wish I was as Smart Pants.
Edd: Your temperature seems normal as well.
Sarah: Oh, what do you know?
Edd: A minor cold at best, I say.
Eddy: Ha!
Edd: Gentlemen, I suggest we leave, as a cold at any rate can be quite contagious.
Sarah: Yeah! Get lost!
Ed: I will show them the door, dear debilitated one.
Eddy: Come on, Ed! What are you going to do? Wipe her nose all day?
Sarah: I need a tissue, Jimmy.
Ed: Oh, I'll fix it for you, Sarah.
Jimmy: Nice and soft for that cute little nose.
(Ed uses a vaccum cleaner to clean Sarah'nose) Eddy: Whatta sap! We're wasting the whole day!
Edd: Ed's just fufilling his duty as a caring brother, Eddy.
Eddy: You're so understanding.
Edd: Perhaps we could set up a paging system, that way Ed could be free to do your bidding and still be in contact with Sarah.
Eddy: I like that!

  • Sarah: Double D! What the heck are you doing?

Edd: Ahh, trying to help you.
Sarah: Oh, O.K, Double D. (giggles)
Edd: Being confided to one room can be quite frustrating, so I found a way to ease Ed's... uhh, I mean your burden. Uh...just pull this handle and someone will assist you.
Sarah: It's too high. No it's too low. Too high! Little low. Too high! Way too low. High! Low. High. High.
Edd: Enough already! You may not be feeling well; I can symphonize with that, but I'm trying to-
(Sarah gives a raspberry at Edd)
Sarah: Serves you right.
Edd: Why, you-!
Ed: No, Double D!
Edd: If I catch a cold...! I'll...I'll... Just give me five minutes with that germ spreading brat!
Ed: Coming, Sarah dear.
Jimmy: Can I get you anything, Sarah?
Ed: Yeah, can I get you anything, Sarah?
Sarah: Would you guys be so kind and LET ME FINISH SLEEPING?!!
Ed: Sarah needs to rest because she is sick.
Eddy: Ed, how can you be so stupid?
Ed: I watch cartoons, Eddy.
Eddy: Yeah, well grow up; forget stupid Sarah. Follow me to your future, lumpy! We blew up on the photo scam, so on to plan B: The Triple E Free Driving School! Only it's not free, and we'll charge them. Double D, your're the instructor.
Edd: Me? but I...
Eddy: Ed, you're the motor.
Ed: I have achieved greatness!
(Bell rings)
Jimmy: It's Sarah!
Ed: I'll be back guys!
Edd: My paging system seems effective, don't you think Eddy?
(Eddy mocks Edd)
Eddy: My paging system seems effective, don't you think Eddy? How are we suppose to get any work done with Ed answering your stupid paging system?
Ed: Okey dokey! I'm ready, Eddy.
Eddy: What took ya? I got students waiting!
Jonny: Where's the obstacle course, Eddy? Plank's itching to tear up some pavement!
Eddy: Comin' right up, Jonny boy. Here we go!
(Eddy grabs Jimmy and ties him up) Jimmy: Ahh! No, stop, that tickles, stop!
Eddy: We aim to please. Let Plank wrap his bumper around this obstacle.
Edd: Let's try to sound convincing now, shall we Double D? Let's see now. Good day, pupil. Welcome to the Triple E Driving Course. My name is Eddward, and I'll be your instructor for the day.
Nazz: Hi, Eddward. Ready when you are.
Edd: Well well, um...Shall we begin with...um...Well, first we must, uh, buckle our safety belts, uh... shall we?
Nazz: Not cool; they're stuck Eddward. Can you give me a hand?
Edd: Ohh, I suppose so...ee...ehh...ehh...
Nazz: Like that?
Edd: Very good! Umm... once safe to do so, please proceed on to the course.
Nazz: Awesome!
Ed: Vroom! Vroom!
Edd: Not too fast, now. Easy on the corners.
Nazz: That's it!
Edd: Nicely done.
(Bell rings)
Jimmy: I'm comin', girlfriend!
Ed: What a weasel! She's my sister!
Edd: ...Ed?
Eddy: Hey! You're the motor, get back here!
Edd: Why aren't we stopping?
Nazz: Oops.
Edd: Go left! Go left! Brake! Brake!
Nazz: What brake?
Edd:(to Eddy) You forgot to put in a brake?!

  • Jimmy: A three cheese grilled sandwich and, see, no crust!

Ed: [walks into the room carrying the fridge] Take your pick, unwell baby sister of mine.
Jimmy: Don't listen to him, Sarah. Cheese is good for a cold; you know it's your favorite.
Ed: She's my sister, and my sister likes fruit and veggietables! Isn't that right, baby sister?!?!
Jimmy: Here, Sarah, let me help you chew.
Ed: I will help her chew.
(Sarah mumbles with he mouth full of food) Jimmy: What's that? A book you, say? I'll get you one.
Ed: In the void of space, Zorba the two-headed mutant...
Jimmy: Silly little Jilly frolicked in the daisies.
Ed: Spewing slime from its tentacles!
Jimmy: 'I'm so silly', said Jilly.
Ed: As Zorba sucked its brain!
Jimmy: I wish I were a potato so the prince would like me.
Ed: He gagged on his bones!
(Sarah rings her bell) Sarah: See the ball?
Jimmy: Yes, I do, Sarah.
Ed: Yep, it's a ball.
Sarah: Go get it!
Jimmy: Certainly, Sarah.
Ed: I'll get it, Sarah.

  • Eddy: What's with you?!

Ed: Sarah's sick, get ball, then Jimmy, I gotta-
Eddy: You gotta nothing!
Ed: I gotta nothing?
Eddy: You're the big brother, that means you're the boss. Get over there and show her what you're made of! Get mean!
Ed: Your're right, Eddy. Iam the big brother, Sarah! Oh, I know!
(Ed hitches up his pants up to his chest)
Eddy: Whoa, you're a tough guy, Ed.
Edd: You've sent him into the lion's den; you know that, don't you?
Ed: Yep.

  • Sarah: Too late! Jimmy already got my ball.

(Ed throws the ball outside the window)
Eddy: You work hard all your life, and what's it get cha?
(The ball hits Edd)
Sarah: Ed! Go get my ball!
Ed: No ball getting back! Rest now!
Sarah: ...(nervously)Please get my ball.
Jimmy: Don't you fret, Sarah; I'll get it.
Ed: Here, let me help you.
(Ed throws Jimmy out the window and hits Edd again)
Jimmy: Ahhh! My head!
Sarah: (In tears) You threw my friend out, Ed! How could you do that! He was just trying to help! Waa!!!!
Ed: Aww... I am sorry, baby sister. A big hug will make you feel all better.
(Sarah beats up Ed. It's not shown but you can tell from the outside of the house)
Ed: Get it off!
Edd: It seems Sarah's made the road to recovery. (Edd sneezes on Eddy)
Eddy: Say it, don't spray it.
(Edd sneezes again)
Eddy: What's with you?
Edd: Ooooh, I knew it. Curse you, common cold micro organisms! It's all part of the big plan, don't you see? They wait and strike when you're the most vulnerable. (Sneezes again) 'Jimmy: Geepers! You sound sick, Double D. You shouldn't be outside; you need some TLC.
Edd: Don't just stand there, do something! Eddy!
Ed: Pain! It hurts!
Eddy: I wonder what's on TV?
Ed: Have mercy depraved sibling!

[edit] An Ed Is Born

(rolf is sniffing along the ground) Jonny: What'cha doing Rolf?
Rolf: Silence! Rolf must brood.
Edd: Ed, this is so wrong! Rolf's sure to discover his chickens are missing!
Ed: Here we go! Up! You there, uppsy-daisy!
(Rolf sees Ed with his chickens)
Ed: Uhh... I think you have to go home now, chickens.
Edd: Please excuse Ed, he meant...
Rolf: Let Rolf understand this. I suppose this disgracing Rolf is OK to you, Ed boy. Walking off with Rolf's chickens like a fine howdy-do?
Ed: It was their idea, Rolf. They wanted to be the best chickens they could be! Bless their little giblets.
Rolf: Is that so, Ed boy? YOU HAVE SQUEEZED AN ORANGE RIND IN THE EYE OF ROLF!! RETURN THE CHICKENS, OR ROLF WILL-
(Rolf gets hit by a crate that Eddy throws down the stairs. The impact sends Rolf flying out the basement window)
Ed: That concludes our lessons for today, ladies! Same time tomorrow.
Eddy: Hey guys, look at what my brother sent me! That big lug.
Edd: Your brother sent you this?
Ed: I think his brother sent it to him Double D.
Eddy: Check it out; I bet it's a car or something.
Edd: Why, this seems to be addressed to a-pipsqueak, Eddy. A pet name for his baby brother, I assume?
(Ed and Edd giggle)
Eddy: Yeah, so that means head honcho in our house. Why else would he send me the key to his new truck?
(holds up a pacifier, Ed and Edd laugh)
Eddy: Baby stuff?! What's he think I am, a two year old?!(holds up a rattle)
Ed: Cool.
Eddy: What are you lookin' at?
Edd: I'm sorry, Eddy, but don't you think it's rather amusing that your brother still thinks of you as his baby brother?
Eddy: No! I HATE being a baby brother!
Edd: Ok, then.
Ed: Listen.(shakes baby rattle)
Eddy: Hold your horses! I'll just show him how big I've gotten. Ed, take me to the mail box, pronto!
Ed: Gotcha, Eddy! Whoa, right over my head.
Edd: Wouldn't it be easier just to mail a letter describing yourself, Eddy? Why, if I were you, I'd write a book, a biography of sorts.
Eddy: You don't get out much, do ya?
Ed: If I were me, I'd make a home movie.
Eddy: Ed, that's it! We'll make a home movie! Double D, your're the cameraman.
Edd: But Eddy, we don't have a-
Eddy: I'll be the exec. producer, exec. director, exec. writer and of course the star.
Edd: We can't shoot a movie without-
Eddy: Ed can be-Ed. We'll show my brother that Eddy's all grown up.
Edd: You're forgetting something, Eddy! We need a-
Ed: (Gets a video camera from out of his dryer) Camera, static free.
Edd: Why do you keep a camera in your dryer, Ed?
Ed: What?
Eddy: There you go.
Edd: Well, we do have a camera.
Eddy: Let's make a movie!
Ed: Can I lick the bulb?
Edd: Ed, do you have a manual for this?
Ed: Somewhere.


  • Eddy: Hiya, bro! What's up? It's me, Eddy, all grown up and livin' the life. Who'd a thought, huh? Check out my mustache.

Edd: OK, cut. Uhh, we'll need to get a close up, Eddy.
Ed: Uh, how was that?


  • Eddy: This thing's giving me a rash.

Edd: Action!
Eddy: Looks like I inherited your genes for the face fur, huh bro? And you know what?


  • Eddy: Now?

Edd: Action.
Eddy: And you know what? I'm loaded. Been investing for years; real estates, stocks, bonds. I've even bought me a couple of planets! Yep, already own Saturn and Pluto.
Edd: Oh, come now, Eddy.
Ed:(sticking money tags on trash bags)Boy, being rich really stinks.
Eddy: What the heck are you doing?! Don't film that!
Edd: Sorry, Eddy; the planet bearing story threw me off.
(Eddy's False Mustache Falls Off) Eddy: Cut, cut! How's my brother supposed to think I'm cool when you guys keep...
(Ed shakes his head and his head is making a baby rattle sound)


  • Edd: Action.

Eddy: Unlike myself, the old neighborhood's still the same as you left it, bro. Hey, did I tell ya? I'm mayor now! Right, Ed?
Ed: Hi, Kevin!
Eddy: See that loser? That's Kevin. He's the neighborhood dork. I have to slap him around every now and then, just to remind him who's boss.
Edd: Eddy...
Kevin: Neighborhood dork, huh? (puts Eddy's underwear on his bike) Hey, Double-Dweeb; you getting this?
Eddy: He collects underwear and gives it to the poor. It's that stupid, huh bro? Help!

Eddy: Slow down, Kevin! I was just kidding! Stop! Please!
Ed: Look at him bounce, Eddy's brother.
Edd: Eddy, are you alright?!


  • Ed: Boy, Eddy, you deserve a shake for that.

Edd: I must say; if I were your brother, I'd be very impressed.


  • Edd: Eddy, where are you?

Eddy: Over here, Spielberg.
Edd: There you are.
Jimmy: Race you to the swings, Sarah!
Eddy': Hey, bro! Remember how you used to own the playground? Well, it's mine now. Check this out.
Sarah: Outta the way, Horse-Head! We wanna play on the swings!
Eddy: You know the drill: Cough up some dough, then swing.
Sarah: What did you say?!
Edd: Ok, cut! Hold your positions please.


  • Edd: Ready, now. Oh, Jimmy, a little closer if you will. good. And cue sef-

(Sarah punches the camera away)
Edd: Oh My.
Sarah: Ed! Get your stupid friends out of the way!
Eddy: No use pleading for mercy, Sarah. Ed obeys only his supreme leader. That's me, bro.
Ed: OK, Sarah!(Ed throws Eddy onto the swing-set pole)
Eddy: Umm... Ed here is showing Sarah what I'll do to her if she doesn't take a HI-ke!
Ed: There you go, baby sister! Swing to your heart's content.
Edd: Okay, people! A big smile for Eddy's brother!


  • (Ed licks the camera lens)

Ed: Hello, my name is Ed.
Eddy: We're running out of ideas, Double-D. Think of something that'll make me look good.
Edd: Ed, you be careful with that!-Oh, what do I care? It's his camera.
Ed: Man the helms! Dive! Dive!
(Ed swallows the camera)
Edd: Ed, what have you done? Open it, open it! [camera zooms to the interior of Ed's stomach] You should know better than eat the camera. Just think of it will do to your digestive tract!
(Edd takes it out)
Ed: Boy, I can't wait to see that part, Double-D.
Edd: Yes, well, let's not and say we did, Ed.
Eddy: Come on, come on! I've got an impression to make here, remember?
(They hear Nazz humming)
Edd: Oh, my.
Eddy: Hey look, it's my girlfriend, painting her nails for me. I think I'll go give her the pleasure of my company.
(Eddy tries to put his arm around Nazz, but she kicks him into a fire hydrant)
Nazz: Umm... Double-D, are you guys, like, making a movie or something?
Edd: Nazz...umm.
Ed: Not to worry, Eddy's brother. I'll just dry him off!
Jonny:(Jonny grabs the camera) Hey, buddy, what'cha got there? Is that your video camera?
Edd: Jonny, please! We're trying to make a movie.
Jonny: Back off!
Edd: Jonny, please!
Eddy:(diving at Jonny)Why, you little-!
Jonny:(Screams) AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!


  • Eddy: He scares the birds away; what can I tell ya? Shall we continue with my charmed life? Wow, what do you know? It's our international jet setter, Rolf.

(Ed is dressed up in one of Rolf's shirts over his normal clothes and he shakes the rattle)
Eddy: Hey, Rolf! Let my brother how important I am.
(Eddy throws the rattle and it hits Rolf on the head)
Ed: I forget.
Rolf: ED BOYS!


  • Rolf: Come back chicken thief!!

Eds: RUN AWAY!


  • Edd: No backs to the camera please; it's rude, you know.

Eddy: Shut up and roll. Remember this place, bro? The junk yard, your old hang out. All the kids are chicken to come here.
(Ed is shown scared of the rattle)
Eddy: See? What'd I tell ya? But not me.
Ed: Show yourself, mutant!
Eddy: Yeah, uhh... Ed's just fixing my old car. It's not quite ready yet. Movin' right along. You'll never guess what I'm building. It's an ultimate hard boiled egg boiler. I've got big bucks invested in this gold mine.
(Edd cuts the camera)
Eddy: What?
Edd: Go on.
Eddy: By simply tossing your-
(Edd cuts the camera again)
Eddy: The combustion soon-
Edd: Look natural; stay with me.
Eddy: Uhh, thus rendering the egg-
(Edd cuts the camera again)
Eddy: For all to enjoy.
Edd: I'm creating dynamics, Eddy.
Eddy: Don't get arty on me, Double-D.
(Eddy opens the door to his boiler but doesn't see that the Hyenas are inside)
Eddy: What?
Edd: KA-KA-KA-KANKERS!!!!!!!
Kankers: (in unison) Hiya, Eddy!
Edd: Pull, Ed!
Eddy: LET ME OUT!!!!!
(The Eds run away) Eds: RUN AWAY!!!!!
Lee: We know where you live!
Eddy: HELP ME!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!


  • Eddy: (Putting on "Spaceballs" by THE SPINNERS) Hiya, bro! So anyways, here I am, all nice and safe in my cozy bachelor pad where all the kids show up to get my autograph. Yep, I'm that big, bro.

(Shows Rolf, Jimmy and Kevin walking around)
Eddy: The usually spot there, dork? (Imitating Kevin) Sweet, Eddy! You're cool, man.
Edd: Oh, please.
Eddy: And there's Jonny. Sign your shirt there, curly?
Ed: (Edd starts pouring cereal on the ground) They're hungry again, Ed-DY!!(Eddy grabs Ed by the neck)
Eddy: (gritting teeth) So feed them over there!
(Rolf is shown coming into the house in the background sniffing the floor)
Eddy: So, bro; as you can see, I'm a big shot now. No more beatin' up little Eddy ,'ey, big brother?
Edd: Uh Oh, Rolf!
Eddy: Rolf? Did I forget to sign Rolf? There ya go, stretch.
[Eddy writes his name on Rolf's face] Rolf:YOU HAVE VANDALIZED ROLF'S FACE, AND YOU HAVE-
(Rolf lifts up the cardboard cut-out Rolf and sees one of his chickens holding it up)
Rolf: And You have stolen Rolf's chickens yet again!!!

Rolf: (to Edd) You stealing Rolf's show with your filmbox?!
Edd: Why, of course not, Rolf! What gave you that impression?
Rolf: Rolf will release his rage now!!!
Eddy: Wait, we can work this out!
Rolf: Return Rolf's chickens!!!!
Ed: AHHHH!!!
Rolf: RETURN THEM!!!!!
Edd: Shoo! Go away! Don't touch me!
Eddy: Mommy!
Edd: I think your brother's got the picture, Eddy.
Eddy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! (Camera Batteries Die Out)

[edit] Season 4

[edit] One Size Fits Ed

Eddy [to Jimmy]:Sumo wrestlers are revered!
Edd: In Japan.
Eddy: You'll have legions of fans, who'll cater to your every whim!!!!!
Edd: In Japan.
Eddy:...Okay, Double D. I'll bite. So your point is?
Edd: Sumo wrestlers are revered, celebrated and affluent, ONLY IN JAPAN, EDDY!!
[steam comes out of Eddy's head]
Ed: Eddy is the man with the plan!
Eddy [screaming at Ed and Edd]: HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GO TO JAPAN?!
Jimmy: Don't give up now, Eddy. The show must go on!
Eddy: Quit livin' in the clouds, kid! There's no way I'll be sending you... to... (gets an idea)
[Ed and Eddy are in intensive care at Edd's house after being crushed by Jimmy]
Edd: Rise and shine, gentlemen. And how are we feeling this morning?
[Both Ed and Eddy groan from their injuries. Ed then starts hitting himself with his own bed]
Edd: Don't play with the bed, Ed.
[Ed stops whilst Edd feeds Eddy with tea]
Eddy: I hate tea.
Edd [whilst opening the window]: You haven't learned a thing, have you, Eddy?
[A whistle is then heard outside]
Sarah [to Jimmy]: Move it, Chunky! Is that the best you can do?! I wanna see some sweat, Mister!!
[Jimmy is seen cycling]
Jimmy: I feel like I'm going to explode.
Sarah: Move it!
Eddy: I've just learned something today, Double D.
Edd: You have? Tell me, Eddy!
Eddy: We should open up a weight-loss clinic! I'd be rich!! [To Jimmy]: HEY, JIMMY!! [Eddy struggles to move due to his full-body cast] Stupid cast. JIMMY!!!
[Eddy falls out of the window, landing head first on the lawn]
Edd: Well I've learned something today.
Ed: ...That Eddy is the man with the plan!
Eddy [Unclear]: Help!!

[edit] Pain in the Ed

Kevin [flinging cards into a cap; makes one]: Choice!
Eddy [looking over the fence; showing off "carpet" pits]: Hey Igniroid, whose more mature now, huh?
Kevin [starts laughing and heads inside]: The dork's faking puberty!!!
Eddy: So now what do we do?!
Edd: We could always go call on Ed.
Ed: Don't bother Double D, he's not at home.
Ed: Position and pose starts by fanning your toes, and placing your left foot right.
Rolf: Why is the Lady of Liberty looming over the cul-de-sac?

[edit] Ed Overboard

Johnny: I'm gonna wet my pants!!
Ed [as the shadows are appearing]: Quack.
May: You're mine forever amore!

[edit] One of Those Eds

[Everyone is fighting over the quarter, but Edd gets everyone's attention by sounding an airhorn]
Sarah: What are you trying to do, blow our heads off?!?
Edd: Crude, yet effective.
Ed: Yum yum! Bubble gum!
Edd: It was just a wad of gum? I've heard of squirrels storing their food, but gum? I mean that's just plain cooky. [steps in a puddle] Oh, for crying out loud! Ed, can I please have my shoes back?
Eddy: What the...?! GIMMIE BACK MY SHOES!!
Ed: What you can do when you live in a shoe and you ain't got no soul?
Eddy & Edd: ED!!

[edit] They Call Him Mr. Ed

Eddy: I almost up-chucked.
Eddy: Woah! We're up, Super up!
Edd: Not good, not good, not good. not good. Kevin's walking DOWN the drive way...

[edit] For the Ed, By the Ed

Jonny: Plank's the king of the cul-de-sac!
Eddy: "Plank is king"?! If anyone's king around here, it's me!!!

[edit] Little Ed Blue

After exhausting all efforts to made a cranky Ed happy, Eddy finally snaps.
Eddy: THAT'S IT! (runs up to Ed) I've had it up to here WITH YOUR BAD MOOD! Crack a smile; bust a gut; BE HAPPY! (smacks Ed upside the head) Get over it.
Ed trembles for a moment before something inside him snaps. His face contorts angrily as Eddy and Double D watch somewhat nervously. Then Ed rips his eyebrow in two.
Ed: (screaming loudly) BIG TROUBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!
Ed's yell causes Eddy to lose his shirt and Edd to faint. Ed then goes on an angry rampage and wrecks the park while Eddy attempts to wake up Double D. Ed attacks/chews up park equipment and playsets and tosses them up in the air violently.
Jonny [whilst on a see-saw in mid-air]: Retards!:

Eddy: Double D, wake up!

Eddy runs while the see-saw drops on top of Double D. Plank, on one side of see-saw, is flung off and hurtling towards an enraged Ed.
Ed: (yelling, while holding up an uprooted lamppost) I WANT TO BE ALONE!
Plank then hits Ed in the back of the head. He pauses, then turns around and growls menacingly at the two-by-four. He picks him up and prepares to break him over his knee. Jonny see this.

[edit] A Twist of Ed

[Kankers run through the wall leaving Kanker shaped holes; The camera zooms out and we see an Ed shaped one also]
Ed [Creepy Laugh]: It's dark! [more laughter]
[Kankers get loose]
Edd: Care to snuggle into my blanquet of amour?
[Kankers run screaming again]
Edd: I haven't had this much fun since Father let me disassemble his shaver. [He hands a flower torch] There, it's your turn.

eddy we not have mash time liet

[edit] The Good Ole Ed

[Ed has found a spatula]
Ed: Oh look, A flipper!
Eddy: It's a spatula, stupid.


Ed: I love pancakes, Eddy!
Eddy: Shut up and pull!


Ed: Hiccups have left the building, Eddy!


Ed: (Yelling down Double-d's throat) I AM A ZOMBIE AND I WILL MALACE YOU WITH A SHOEHORN!! Edd; (it same i have hicup)

[edit] Your Ed Here

Kevin: This is so stale, I swear. [he halts] Huh? [He spots a wallet] Choice, a wallet!
Eddy: Any cash?
[Kevin opens it]
Kevin [finds it empty]: It's empty, like your head.
Eddy [leaving]: What idiot would carry a wallet with no cash in it?
Kevin [smiles evilously]: No way! Hey, Eddy! Check out the idiot!
Eddy: Hey, that's me.
Kevin: Ain't it weird how wallets can tell a lot about a dork? Huh, Skipper!
Eddy [alarmed]: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!? [in a terrified manner, he looks at the others]
Kevin: That IS your middle name, isn't it, SKIPPER?
Eddy [while holding Edd]: Forgive me! [Kisses Edd]
Edd: [To a down Eddy] If it makes you feel better I'll tell you my middle name.
Eddy: Okay.
Edd: Well, Eddy. My middle name, is Marion. (Eddy stares blankly at him for a while)
Eddy: *laughter* Marion!?! That's a girl's name!

[edit] Thick as an Ed

Edd [after his head gets caught in Ed's cheese-infested pocket]: RANCID, MOLDY CHEESE!!! I refuse to participate any further until Ed washes that offensive, putrified jacketof his!!
Eddy: (takes the map away from Ed) Quit rocking the boat! We got people to filge! (heads to the lake, looking at his reflection) Is that a frog or boot? (looks closer)
Ed: A boot? (Heads to Eddy)
Eddy: There, see it? What is that?
Ed: It kinda looks like Abraham Lincoln, Eddy.
Eddy: What are ya talking about? (Snaps his face in the water)
[Edd attempts to take Ed's jacket off via barge pole, but is then pulled into the jacket]
Ed: Comfy?
Edd [popping frantically out of Ed's jacket]: FILTHY! CRUDDY! SMELLY!
[Edd then goes to shower himself]
Edd [poking his head out of the shower]: Ed, I insist you remove that jacket immediately!
Ed: OK! If you give me your hat.
Edd [getting dressed]: My hat? Why, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Absolutely not.
Eddy: Give him the stupid hat so we can get some frogs!
Edd [ignoring Eddy and going head-to-head with Ed]: The point here is my hat doesn't smell.
Ed: Oh, yes it does.
Edd: No, it does not! You're just saying that because I said your jacket stank.
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: You've got a repulsive, fermenting detachment of cheese in your pocket, Ed!
Ed: STINKY HAT!
Edd: ODIFEROUS CURDY COAT!
Ed: STINKY HAT!
Edd: RANCID ROQUEFORT WRAP!!
Ed: STINKY HAT!!
Edd: PUNGENT PARMESAN POCKET!!!
Ed: OH, YEAH?! STINKY HAT!!!
Edd: COAT OF CANTANKEROUS CAMEMBERT!!!!
Ed: STINKY HAT!!!!
Eddy [getting in between to break it up]: SHUT UP!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!
[Edd & Ed glare at each other & and turn away]
Eddy: Oh, come ON- WE'VE GOT A SCAM TO RUN HERE!!!!
Edd: I'm sorry, Eddy. But I can't work up on these conditions.
Eddy: (snaps the peg closer to Double D's eyelids) Oh, yes you can! You just worry about gettin' those frogs, and I'll deal with Ed. (Heads to Ed and quickly tries to take his jacket and shirt off rudely)
Ed: (snaps the jacket and shirt right) HEY!
Eddy: What? The frogs won't recognize ya, lumpy. What you need is a disguise.
Ed: A disguise?
Eddy: Quick, get undressed! I got an idea!
Ed: Frogs are so stupid! (jumps at literally leaves the clothes hanging on mid-air) Hooray!
(Edd looks)
Eddy: You owe me! (to Edd)
Edd [leaping after getting cheese's stench poofed in his face]: DEFOILED!!! SOILY!!! PROFANE!!!
Ed: (kisses the cheese) Home, sweet home, uh Sheldon?
Eddy: You guys will need more than luck if we DON'T CATCH SOME FROGS!!
Ed : Okay, how about [unveils a smelly fish bones] Angus, my more-than-lucky fishy.
Edd: Ed! Get rid of that carcass immediately!!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Shirt of fliched flounder!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Dated trout top!!
Ed: STINKY HAT!!
Edd: EDDY!!!

[edit] Sorry, Wrong Ed

Eddy: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER IT, IDIOT!
Edd: TELEPHONES AREN'T CURSE, EDDY!!!! THEY'RE PLASTIC!!!! Calm down, Double D. Think ocean waves, sea mammals. arieas
Ed: Is that your dark side, Double D?

[edit] Robbin' Ed

[The Eds leave the scene after facing defeat from Jonny/Captain Melonhead]
Edd: It's all fun and games 'til someone gets a splinter.

[edit] A Case of Ed

Ed [eating one of Edd's shoes]: Mm. How long have you been a size two?
Edd: Size two? But I've always worn a size five shoe, doctor.
Eddy: Sounds like another sympton to me.
[Jimmy, upon seeing a "Kick me" sign on Edd's back, can't help but to kick him in the backside]
Edd: CURSE THIS DREADED LACADAISICATHRO DISEASE!!
[Edd breaks into tears whilst Nazz goes over to talk to him]
Nazz: Dude, I think somebody's playing a joke on you. [shows Edd the "Kick Me" sign] Don't sweat it, 'kay.
[The kids exit the lane]
Sarah: What an idiot!
[Edd looks at the sign in anger, realising it was Ed and Eddy who tricked him]
Edd: Ooh! Those, those... RAPSCALLIONS!!!!
[Edd heads back to Kevin's house, where the Eds are situated]
Kevin [left in the dark]: Okay, now I'm mad.
[From the outside, Ed and Eddy are seen laughing at the fact they've coverevd Kevin's house with bricks. Edd then arrives, who isn't happy with either of them]
Edd: Are you PROUD OF YOURSELVES?!?
Eddy: Hang on there, Hamlet.
[Ed and Eddy continue their laughter, at Kevin's expence]
Ed: Too rich, huh, Double D?
Edd: LISTEN TO ME!!!
Eddy: How could we not?
Edd [producing the "Kick Me" sign]: This was found on my body!! You had me believe I was expiring!!
Eddy: Rage, er, isn't that a symptom, Dr. Ed?

[edit] Hand-Me-Down Ed

[Upon finding the boomerang, Jimmy places it under his shirt]
Jimmy: Look at me, I'm a bruiser. [laughter]
[The effects of the boomerang make Jimmy stronger]
[After encountering the changed Sarah]
Ed: Baby sister is all cuddly and sweet like Dad's bushy ears!
Edd: GOOD LORD! GET AWAY FROM ME! ED, DO SOMETHING! (running away)
Edd: Isn't that the boomerang Sarah had?
Ed: (pushes Edd with his head) A boomerjigger?
[Ed is typing on a typewriter with the boomerang behind his ear.]
Ed: Chasing phantoms: A dissertation on unifying field theory and it's effects on leptons and quasars. By Edward.
Edd: Eddy, come quick! You're not going to believe this!
Eddy: What the heck are you doing over there? The scam's over here!
Ed: At any rate, I balk at the result: photo-molecular dissipation. Do you concur?
Eddy: Ahem.
Edd: Eddy, did you hear that? Ed has finally found his intellect! I theorize, that in puberty, a hormonal imbalance has unclogged Ed's-
Eddy: [cutting Edd off] All I hear are a COUPLE OF SLACKERS!!
Ed: Hostility is the calling card of the weak intellect.
Eddy: WHO ARE YOU?! STOP IT! STOP IT!
[Eddy takes the boomerang away from Edd]
Edd: [shocked] What the Sam Hill is Going on Here?! I'M NAKED!!!
Edd: [covering his naked self to the rest] I'M NOT MOVING FROM THIS SPOT!
Ed: What an indian, inadequate, and inefficacious journey this has been.
Eddy: [Gasping] Casey Jr.'s all alone! Mommy's here, sweetie, don't cry!
Edd: I getting the need to feel the breeze between my knees! [removes underwear and wiz] Got the ticket!
Eddy: Not in front of the baby, please! Casey, cover your eyes!
Ed: Distasteful dullard!

[edit] Run for Your Ed

Ed [after being woken up from sleeping in Kevin's fridge by a bugle playing Eddy]: PRIVATE DO-DA REPORTING FOR DUTY CHIEF!!
Ed: SOAP! YUCK! FRESH! CLEAN! SANDY! NO SOAP!
Ed [throwing a bottle of soap away]: I dispense with you, disgusting detergent of the deep!! For I, Ed, can remove the bottle with... sticky-tape!
Edd: Stickytape?
Eddy: Stick? You're already stuck, numbskull!
Ed: And your point is?
Eddy [walking away]: This is stupid.
Edd: Ed may have something here. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, you know.
Ed: Just follow my smell, bucko!

[edit] Stiff Upper Ed

Ed: Just back from his safari.. the richiest rich guy to rich around the rich: EDDY McRICH!
[Eddy attempts to show his boat to Sarah and Jimmy, but Ed accidentally breaks part of the boat, causing it to "sink"]
Eddy: What?!? We're sinking?!
Edd: Lifeboats! I FORGOT TO MAKE LIFEBOATS!!
Ed: It wasn't me!
[Sarah slams the gate door open for new members of her's and Jimmy's Rich Club]
Sarah: So glad you could come.
[Nazz arrives, in a posh-looking dress]
Nazz [in a posh accent]: I wouldn't have missed it for the world, darlings.

[edit] Here's Mud in Your Ed

Edd: Have your mother and father seen what you've done, Eddy? BECAUSE WHEN THEY DO, YOU'LL PAY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR GREED!
Ed: Yes he will, Double D! 'Cause Eddy's gonna buy him a new house!
Eddy: 'Cause I've got me a magic money tree seed!
[Edd looks at Eddy's purchase in a concerned manner]
Eddy: And when it sprouts, I'll buy you a new hat.
Edd: What, with this,Eddy? A crudely drawn bank note on the back of a soup label?
Eddy: No! With the oodles of dough from my money tree, HAHAHA![pulls out the "seed"]
Edd: ...That is not a seed, Eddy. That is a discarded spool.
Eddy: ...THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO FLEECE ME?! Well, TWO can play at this game! (states pointing two fingers at the air) I got a plan. (He tries to make Edd come but he just sits there.) Plan, I said!
Edd: I can't!
Eddy: Why not?
Edd: Because I desperately need to go to the bathroom! An unfortunate reaction to this stressful situation, I'm sure. (runs away)
Ed: You still got me, Eddy!
Eddy: (sacastically) Boy, ain't I lucky? (grabs Ed and runs away)
Ed [As Edd-puppet]: Oh dear. I fell.
Eddy: Get back here, gimme back my stuff!! [slams the door]
Rolf [nervous]: Ed-boy, please stop, you will wake Nana. Silence, yes? Thank you.
Eddy: SILENCE?! I'LL GIVE YA SILENCE!
Ed [being smacked to the door]: Who's there? [being smacked again] Who's there? [once again] Who is there?
Rolf: Ed-boy, please forgive Rolf, as Rolf will make good by giving you the real money tree seed.
Eddy [not too convinced] Real money tree seed?
Edd: Oh please, do you really think he'll fall for that old-?
Eddy: DEAL!!
[Rolf and Jimmy give him a real money tree seed, a bolt]
Eddy: I'm rich! [kicks the real bush, and puts the "seed" in the soil, waters it, and puts in a small fence with a sign saying "Eddy's Money Tree"] And its mine! All mine!! [laughs maniacally]
Ed: Even I am not that dumb, Double D.
Edd: An iris-in would be appropriate, don't you think? [iris in on Eddy] Thank you.

[edit] Stuck in Ed

[Upon finding that they are too late to get free jawbreakers from Kevin, Eddy attacks Ed.]
Eddy: [throttling Ed, yelling] THIS IS YOUR FAULT! ADMIT IT! [normal voice] If you do, I promise not to leave bruises.
Eddy: [miserably] I can't think of a scam.

[edit] Postcards from the Ed

Jonny: [Holding two planks] Ed, Edd and Eddy, I like you to meet Plank's Mom and his Dad. [zooming to the Eds] They just moved in from out of town. [Ed releases Eddy stuck in his mouth]

[edit] Take This Ed and Shove It

Rolf: A potato monger!?
Edd: Well you see-
Rolf: Rolf wishes to be a barber.
Edd: A barber?
Rolf: Rolf is a barber! [Showing muscle]
Ed: Party at Rolf's house!
Old Jonny: Hey Eddy! Nice day isn't it? Whatcha staring at? Did Nazz forget her pants again?
Old Jonny: She still got it, huh, Eddy?
Old Eddy: Got what? Liver spots? I can't take this anymore! [Trips Over] Ow! My hip!
Old Rolf: Hello, Kevin.
Old Eddy: Huh? I'm not Kevin.
Old Rolf: Who is this Kevin you speak of? (changes subject) ROLF'S TRACTOR IS NOT FOR SALE!
Old Ed: You remember the funniest things, Eddy. Like... uh I forget.
Old Eddy: It Was All just stories? Memories from the past? We really are old!

[edit] Season 5

[edit] Mission Ed-Possible

[Edd is stuck at his desk, sat between Ed and Eddy. This goes on during the math, woodwork, geography and cooking classes. Ed and Eddy then close in on Edd one minute before the final bell]
Edd [to his cooking teacher]: Pardon me, sir. But may I be excused to the restroom? [pause for response] Thank you.
[Edd leaves the class in an attempt to get a head start]
Eddy [incoherently]: Suckerpunch!
[Edd runs toward the door]
Edd: Now to get to the outside before the final bell!!
[The final bell rings before he could even get outside. He is then stood on by other kids]
Jonny [to Plank]: Race ya home, buddy! [laughter]
Lee Kanker: Meat Loaf Monday, girls!
Marie Kanker: Last one home peels mom's bunyans!
May Kanker: No bunyans for me. I'm on a diet.
[Ed and Eddy are about ambush Edd from the school's main entrance, only to have caught Rolf]
Ed [after getting Rolf with the net]: Got him, Eddy!good for me!
Eddy: You idiot!! Does this look like Double D?
[Ed looks closely at Rolf's face before dropping his net]
Ed: Hmm. Maybe with a hat?
[Eddy shoves his cone through Ed's head before looking closely at the entrance door to see if Edd's still inside]
Eddy: HEY, ROLFIE! YOU SEEN DOUBLE D?!
Rolf [carrying his bag]: Double D Ed-boy? Err, I am an innocent son of a shepard. I know nothing. Goodbye.
[Rolf's bag breaks open, causing his typewriter to fall out. Edd comes out of the typewriter like a sheet of paper]
Eddy: IT'S THE RAT!!
[Edd attempts to escape Ed and Eddy via Kevin's bike. However, he puts off Sarah and Jimmy from their after-school carnival in the lane]
Eddy: GIVE US THOSE REPORT CARDS!! [They see Edd cycle the opposite way] That-a-way, Ed!
Ed [turning his head]: Which-a-way, Eddy?
[Eddy notices Sarah approaching]
Eddy: SARAH AHEAD!!
[Sarah is seen, angrilly heading toward Ed and Eddy]
Ed: Sarah no good for Ed, Eddy!
[Ed turns around, much to the cost of the fence]
Eddy: GO, LUMPY, GO!!
[Edd continues cycling, only to be caught by Kevin]
Kevin: Any last words before I pound ya?!
[Eddy and Ed catch Edd, also running over Kevin and Sarah]
Ed: Beep-beep!
Eddy: End of the road, Mr. Do-Gooder!! Hand over those report cards!! [Edd gets an umbrella from his satchel and hooks it onto a tree branch. And in the process, leaving Ed and Eddy crushed by the tree. They then break out of the debris, only to see Edd flying off via umbrella] How'd he do that?
Ed [tearful]: He's too smart for us, Eddy!![Ed blows his nose on Eddy like a tissue] We'll never catch him.
[Ed drops Eddy]
Eddy: Don't count your biscuits before they hatch, Lumpy! Sock-head may be smart, but he's weak. And he'll never deliver those report cards... ALIVE!!!
[Eddy gives a sinister cackle before receiving a big hug from Ed]
Ed: I'M ALIVE, EDDY!! I'M ALIVE!!!
[Edd safely lands in the construction site, but as he progresses on, he sees a giant hole created by Ed and Eddy]
Eddy [to Ed]: Deadly-Do-The-Right-Thing doesn't stand a chance. It's brawn over brains, I tell ya! [to Edd once he sees him] A-HA! You're trapped!! There's no escaping now, Smart guy!! Hand over those report cards!! [Edd makes an odd face at the audience before taking a left turn to avoid their pit] He's getting away!!
Ed [still digging]: Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole!
[Eddy kicks Ed in the rear]
Eddy: YOU SHOULD'VE DIG DEEPER!!
[Ed lands on top of Eddy. As for Edd, he makes it out of the construction site, but is soon blocked by the Kankers' trailer, set up by both Ed and Eddy]
Eddy [tangled in the antenna above the trailer]: Just like our report cards, you've failed!
[The Kankers are in their trailer eating meat loaf for dinner, despite May's being stolen by Marie, then by Lee. Edd comes through, without looking at the Kankers]
Edd: I'm sorry! I hope you're decent! Pardon me! Excuse me!
[Ed and Eddy also come through]
Eddy: Get back here, you watery little...! [Eddy turns his attention to the Kankers after Lee Kanker trips him over] Hey! What's with you?
Lee: Looks like desert showed up just in time, girls!
Marie [refering to Eddy]: Shortcake, my fave.
May [refering to Ed]: And the tall milkshake.
[Edd escapes through the window whilst Ed and Eddy face kisses from the Kankers]
[Edd returns to the Cul-de-Sac, exhausted from escaping Ed and Eddy]
Edd: Tired, so tired. [Edd collapses onto the pavement] I can't go on. [Edd sees Eddy's house] Oh, so close. [Edd gets back up] I must! I will! I shall! [Edd makes it to the door and raises his voice toward Ed and Eddy] I COMMEND YOUR EFFORTS, GENTLEMEN! BUT AS ALWAYS, THE SANCTUM OF EDUCATION CHAMPIONS THE DAY!
[Edd is about to knock on the door, but Ed and Eddy bust the door open from the other side]
Eddy: Who's the smart guy, now, huh?! [Eddy snatches Edd's satchel for the report cards, but can't find them] What the...?! Where did the report cards go?!
[A bugle is then heard, and it's the Urban Rangers]
Jimmy: Congratulations, Ranger Rolf, on your task well complete. It is an honor I present to you the "Report Card Delivery" Badge!
[Jimmy awards the badge to Rolf]
Rolf: Yes, thank you, very good, thank you, thank you. [Rolf looks to the sky, giving the Urban Ranger salute] Rolf is pleased!
Eddy: Our report cards?
Edd: Oh, honestly, I feel sick about all this, but when the principal chose me for this responsibility, I had no other recourse but to accept, and to save you being upset for your own good.
[Eddy is about to get his hands on Edd, only to be caught by his father]
Eddy: Dad!?! Wait! Err, the grades are in Greek this year. I'll be good. I SWEAR!!
[Ed, sat in a puddle of his own tears, is then caught by the ear by his mother]
Ed: Uh-oh. [tearful] No AUNTIE for Ed. MOMMY! NO AUNTIE FOR ED!!
Edd [picking up his bag]: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I suppose some lessons just have to be learned the hard way.
[Edd is stopped in his tracks by Kevin, who has his broken bike with him]
Kevin: Ain't that the truth?
[Kevin laughs as Edd looks at him in fear]

[edit] Every Which Way But Ed

Ed: Zapity Zap Zap!
Ed: (while spinning) We were standing next to a... hole in the wall... right after a big... boom, remember?
Eddy: This ain't the hole!
Ed: Oh, yes it is. Me and Double-D were here, and Eddy, you were here.
Edd: Weren't we just here?
Eddy: I think Ed flashed us backwards or something.
Ed: You bet your sweet bippy I did. (Eddy throws bolwing ball at Ed's face)
Ed: Run away! Face-sucking bowling ball!

[edit] Cleanliness is next to Edness

Edd:LOOK AT ME! IS A SHOWER TOO MUCH TO ASK?!
Edd: THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS HAS ABANDONED ME!!! WAAAAHAAA!!!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ed: Eddy! The belly is evil! The belly is cruel! [Eddy throws a alarm clock at Ed]

[edit] Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed

Ed:[reads the comic]: They have dragged our comerades to their lair to be...de-skulled!
[The friends scream]

[edit] Out With the Old, In With the Ed

[Bad weather has struck in the cul-de-sac]
Nazz: What's with this weird weather?

[edit] I Am Curious Ed

[Jonny attempts to tell Sarah and Jimmy how babies (birds) are born. Jonny then feeds Jimmy a worm]
Jimmy: I swallowed a wiggly!
Sarah: JONNY, YOU IDIOT!! [Jonny, along with Sarah, Jimmy and the nest, all fall into Rolf's back garden] THAT'S IT! YOU'RE PULP!!
[Sarah fights Jonny, then Rolf comes out]
Rolf: Stop! Have you gone crazy?! [Rolf comes over to break up the fight] What is the meaning of this que-cera-cera?
Sarah [pointing at Jonny]: Fat-head made Jimmy eat a worm!
Ed: If I may reirritate ["Reitterate"], babies come from storks!!
[Ed flies carrying Eddy and dropping him into a chimney. Ed starts wailing like a baby upon landing inside the house]
Ed: There, screeching like a baby. Sure, does it stink when I'm right?
[Edd grabs a chair in concearn]
Edd: Ed. How did you do that?
Ed: What? This, Double D? [Ed flaps his arms, but falls to the ground] Yep, my head's still on, Double D.
Eddy [off-screen]: ED!!

[edit] No Speak da Ed

[Rolf clobbers Ed with his staff] :Rolf: NEVER AGAIN YOU SHALL TORMENT ROLF'S LIFESTOCK! [Rolf runs out of the school, screaming] ROLF WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE!!
[Ed teeters and falls to the ground hard. Eddy laughs histerically.]
Edd: [Runs to a beaten Ed on the floor] Dear Ed, are you alright?
Ed: [With tears] Rolf hits me with an umbrella, Double D! [Hugs Double D]

[edit] Cool Hand Ed

Ed: Yeah Eddy! The School will tell Sarah, and she'll tell Mom, and Mom will tell Dad, AND DAD WILL JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH TV!!!
[Edd has refused to partake in Eddy's plan of breaking out of school]
Eddy: Oh yes you do, or Ed here will write your locker combination on the girls' bathroom wall.
Edd: You wouldn't dare!!
[Ed then sharpens a pencil using his mouth]
Ed: A hamburger by any other name would be just as cheesy.

[edit] Too Smart For His Own Ed

  • Rolf: [trying to spell 'watch'] "W ... O ...T ... H. Wrist clock!"
    Jimmy: [whimpering] "I can't feel my toes any more Rolf! We've been practicing for hours!"
  • Edd: [looking in horror as Eddy tears up a book] "What are you doing to that poor defenseless dictionary?"
    Eddy: "Ed's cramming for the spelling bee!"
    [Eddy continues to stuff pages into Ed's ears]
    Eddy: "Feeling smarter, Ed?"
    Ed: [cheerfully spewing out loose sheets as he speaks] "What?"
  • Edd: [angry that Eddy expects him to cheat and lose the spelling bee] "Surely you jest, Eddy! How could you ask me to disengage the rules of literacy? To squander the values of scholastic tradition? To spit upon the very foundations of what our language is built on?"
  • Ed: [happily spewing forth a few more pages] "What?"
  • Rolf: [hopelessly] "Rolf's mind goes blank."
    [there is a long, long pause, much raspy deep breathing, another pause a muttered 'colonial' and then an outburst -]
    Rolf: [yelling] "POPPYCOCK! Curse this monkey ritual of English words!"
    [Rolf knocks down the microphone and stalks from the stage to the sound of lonely applause, he pauses and waves]
    Rolf: "Thank you, Nana!"
  • [Ed has to spell the word, "ectoplasm," and rolls over to the microphone]
    Ed: Ectoplasm. E-C-T-O-P-L-A-S-M. Ectoplasm.
    [This brings joy to Eddy, and concearn to Ed's opponent, Edd]
  • Edd: "Gravy. G-R-A-V-I. NO, Y! Y is what I meant to say..."
    Nazz: "Ohh... sorry dude, but you know the rules. Over to you, Ed. Can you spell 'gravy'?"
    [Ed walks over to the microphone and pushes Edd away]
    Ed: "Gravy. G-R-A-V-Y. Gravy. Yum." [Applause]
    Nazz [giving Ed a ribbon] "This year's winner of the Peach Creek spelling bee is Ed!"
  • Kevin: [after having to dish Eddy a dollar] "I lost a bundle on you, double has been!"
  • Ed: [attempting to solve Jimmy's 'if X is Y what is P' equation] "Yes. Well. 2P or not 2P, that is the question!"
  • Ed: [being carried away by Eddy] "Tickle, tickle, tickle!"
  • Eddy: [promoting his latest business venture 'Egghead Ed' who is standing there looking very dweeby] "Step right up folks and behold Ed - that's one 'D' not two! This Egghead el Grande shall dot your T's and cross your I's and get you an 'A 'and that's no lie! Just 25 cents a question. Cheap!"
  • Eddy: [tired of Edd's moping speeches] "Yeah, yeah, just lemme see the cash, Hamlet."
  • Ed: [apparently back to his old self] "Bread sticks hurt my gums!"
  • Ed: [carrying Edd away] "Cookies at my house Double D, with lots of mayonnaise!"
  • Jonny: [after deciding Nazz isn't really a wood hater but being rebuffed when he wanted to hold hands] "What? You hate bald kids too?"

[edit] Who's Minding the Ed?

Jonny: Wow! Are you guys bus boys or something?
Eddy: Jonny, quick! (grabs Jonny, points over fence) Oh, look, Kevin's being attacked by a rabid rake!
Kevin is shown raking leaves, obviously oblivious to the Eds' antics.
Jonny: (exasperated) Holy mackerel, Plank! Kevin's in trouble! (yelled to Kevin) Watch out for those teeth!
Jonny jumps over fence and attacks Kevin's rake.
Jonny: Take that!
Kevin: (annoyed) Unbelieveable!
Jonny: Grab his feet, Plank!
Meanwhile, the Eds take advantage of this distraction and jump into Kevin's pile of leaves.
Eddy: (laughs) Geronimo!
Eddy jumps into the leaves first. Followed by Ed, who drags Edd along with him. Then, Kevin spots them.
Eddy and Ed: (running away, scattering leaves) Run away!
Kevin: I'm on to ya, dorks! Try that again, and I'll pound ya!
Edd: (with his back to Kevin) Oh, of all the- (turns around) Oh, my goodness! My apologies once again, Kevin. (runs away)
Jonny appears from off-screen and tackles Kevin.
Jonny: WE'LL SAVE YA KEV!!!!
Eddy: Let's hit 'em again, lug nut!
Ed: Hit 'em again, hit 'em again, hit 'em again! Ha ha ha! I forgot what I said! Ha ha!
Rolf: Listen to Rolf carefully, brick shy of a full load Ed boy!
Ed: That's me!
Rolf: And watch the chickens, as they do not like to be seperated, except for Bridget, who prefers solitude.
Eddy: What's with Rolf's Von stupid clothes?
Ed: Rolf's gotta go to a family reunion and I, Ed, am responsible for his favorite furry friends.
Eddy: Hahahah! Your're kidding, right?


  • Eddy: Ok, sockhead! This is the part where you have some big word, smart guy way to get out of these stupid situations. Go for it.

Edd: Not this time, Eddy. Ed's given Rolf his word, and as his friends, we have an obligation to support his disconnected decision and do our part.


  • Sarah: Ed! You'd better get these animals out of this house, mister, or I'm tellin' mom!

Ed: No animals here, oh cramp in my rump sister of mine.
Sarah: NOW, STUPID HEAD!!!!!!


  • Edd: Sara does have a point, Ed.

Ed: But Double-D, they're so cute and cuddly.
Eddy: My favorite shirt, shot! Throw 'em out, Ed! Who needs 'em?
Ed: Inky, Dinky, stinky you.


  • Ed: (Playing with Rolf's animals, in a firefighter costume) It's a four sausage fire, Double D!


  • Edd: Just look at this filth! Our four-legged guests aren't going to clean up after themselves, you know!!


  • Ed: Hot cocoa and potato salad! Who's with me?!


  • Edd: Edward, this charade of lies is in danger of inaccountability. Perhaps you should consider caring for Rolf's animals elsewhere?

Ed: Hold that think!


(Talking to Eddy after Eddy got crushed by an opening door)

  • Rolf: Hello, he who resembles a swollen thumb Ed boy!


  • Rolf: Please pass on Rolf's gratitude to the lacking chin Ed boy! Goodbye!


  • Ed: Who's up for some hockey? (Appears in a strange uniform, including an Ontario Maple-Leaves shirt, a snorkel, and tennis racket and a pair of socks around his neck)Fore! hahahaha! Where did everybody go?

Edd: Uh...
Ed: Oh I get it, hide and seek. Ok! Ready or not here I come! Hello? Ok, furry friends, you win! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Edd: Um excuse me Ed, but it seems Rolf entered, um, early and gathered his..
(Eddy throws Edd out of the way)
Eddy: Yeah, he took all his pets and hauled 'em back to his dump.
Ed: (Bursts into tears as Edd gets out an umbrella) Say it isn't so!! Come back, little ones! I miss my furry friends, guys.
Eddy: Ah, you're better off without 'em, blubberpuss.
Ed: Don't talk to me.
Edd: Eddy, can't you see Ed has developed a bond of friendship with Rolf's creatures? We own to help him through this difficult time of seperation.
Eddy: What, again? What about my difficult time of having you on my back through this whole show?! (Collapses on the floor, then jumps back to his feet almost instantly) Hey! I got an idea of a friend who can help old sad sack here.
Edd: Do tell, Eddy.


Eddy: Huh? What'd I tell ya, Ed? Isn't he fuzzy and cuddly or what?
Ed: Can I keep him, Eddy?!
(Edd is dressed in a very cute bunny costume)
Edd: Ha ha ha; yes, very good Eddy, I think you made your point quite clear. Oh, I'll admit I may have been a tad bit overbearing today, but not without good intentions and concern for Ed's safe and well- (Ed tackles Edd and starts to squeeze him, far too hard)
Ed: Hug the bunny, hug the bunny! Awww! Look, he likes me Eddy!(Ed starts to pet Double-D very hard) Purr like a bunny, purr like a bunny, purr like a bunny!
Edd: RABBITS DON'T PURR, ED! Wait! Don't leave me, Eddy!!
Eddy: Not this time, sockhead. I've got an obligation.[pulls up a booth]Pet the bunny! Only 25 cents!
Edd: Eddy!!!

[edit] Pick an Ed

  • Edd: Why, Eddy? Why, I ask you? Yet another detention for you, Ed and I? It's all fun and games until academic grades fall, mister.

Eddy: Ah, lighten up; it builds character, sockhead. Did you see how big that vein got when the teacher started yelling? Man, I thought I was gonna bust!
Edd: The teacher had every right to be upset, Eddy! Why, just the electrical rewiring of that room will take weeks!
Eddy: Hahah! You should have seen the look on your face, sockhead!
Ed: And did you see the look on Ed's face? I almost wet my eyebrow, guys! Chump here sure knows funny, guys.
(Ed and Eddy laugh)
Eddy: Who you callin' chump?!
Ed: Look! (Reads the writing on the wall) Eddy is a no neck chump. Can I have your autograph?
Edd: Good lord! Who in their right mind would deface a sanctum of education?!?
Eddy: Somebody who's out to ruin my good name, that's who! It's a smear campaign, I tell ya!
Edd: (Slowly more and more snide) Oh, come now, Eddy. This is in no way a greater scheme to ruin your reputation. Why, I think you've done a good job of that on your own.


  • Edd: What in heaven's name are you doing?! Don't in the lost and found! Has this whole school gone mad?!?

Ed: Not me, Double D! I'm in my happy place, 'cause Eddy, the no-neck Chump, has a plan!


  • Edd: Have you ever had one of those days, Ed?

Ed: Every day of my life, Double D.


Ed: Look! A new kid! My name is Ed, friend. Well it's just "Ed", not "Ed, friend". I am Ed and you are friend, so-
Eddy: Howdy, Ed! My name's uhh,umm...Carl. My family just flew in from...Ecuador.
Ed: Eddy's gonna like you, Carl.
Eddy: Bingo.
Ed: Oh Eddy! Come and meet Carl, Eddy! Eddy?


Eddy: Howdy, I'm new in town and was wondering if-
Rolf: Rolf shares in your awkwardness, as Rolf too is a stranger in this strange land. A son of shepherd. Past the drift of the far distant shore.
Ed: Rolf, have you seen this no neck chump?
Rolf: The snake in the grass Ed boy is missing?
Ed: Yep, if you see him, bind him with duct-tape as he does not play well with others and has been known to dribble.
Rolf: Is this so?


  • Jonny: We're playing hockey, and you can be shortstop.

Kevin: Don't listen to clueless, Carl. So, you good for some extra yards after that catch, bro?
Jonny: Plank says we need to break the new kid in.
Kevin: Right. Dogpile on the new kid!
Jonny: Woohoo!
Kevin: Righteous!
Nazz: Yeah!
Sarah: Dog-pile on the new kid!
Jimmy: Here I go, sucka!
Jonny: Did you hear my back crack?!
Nazz: Isn't this fun? Hi I'm Nazz. What's your name?
Eddy: Umm...I forget. No wait! Uhhh-Carl,yeah.
Ed: People! I have lost my Eddy. Trip you might over him, as he is short and squirrels like to pelt him with nuts.
Jimmy: My wish has come true, Sarah! Eddy has disappeared!
Sarah: Good riddance.
Eddy: So Kevin, who is this good lookin' Eddy Kid anyway?
Kevin: Don't sweat it Carl, something you'll never be. A dork!
Eddy: Thanks guy.
Jonny: Watch me, Carl! One potato, two potato, three potato, four!
(Jonny hits Kevin with a football)
Jonny: It's a homerun, buddy!
Kevin: Carl, help me lug this guy.


Edd: Well Carl, have you found this perpetrator of your smear campaign yet?
Eddy: Double D, somethings really messed up here. They're all been nice, too nice! Feels like they're sitting me up for something.
Edd: As foreign as it may sound to you; it's called acceptance, Carl. Unlike Eddy, Carl has done nothing to ostracize himself from the group dynamic. Carl has a clean slate, if you will.
Eddy: No foolin'?
Ed: Have you seen my Eddy? His turn-on's are full length mirrors, greasy hair products, and yelling-LOTS OF YELLING!!!
Eddy: Looks like a loser to me.
Edd: But that loser is you Eddy.
Eddy: Not anymore, kid. That dork's hit the trail. From now on, it's the good life with Carl, kid. That's me! Nice guy.
Edd: But Eddy, there is no CARL!!
Kevin: Whoa, Carlster; you know these two dorks?
Eddy: Not likely, friend. I wouldn't hang with these wash-outs if they were that last two dorks on Earth.
Kevin: Hahaha! Right on! You're awesome, man.
Edd: Well, I never! Of all the no good-! Ed, Eddy's tossed us aside the shallow alure of the in-crowd.
Ed: I miss my Eddy, Double D!!!
Edd: Worry not, dear Ed. I have a suspicion that Eddy will be back sooner than he thinks.


  • Ed: Somewhere my Eddy is cold and alone, and will soon have to resort to having to eating his own body parts in order to survive, Double D!!

Edd: Perhaps a rest from televison tonight, yes Ed?


  • Kevin: Man, what's with all the new kids?

Nazz: Kinda nice; the more the merrier.
Jonny: I bet they're gonna take over and get us expelled!
Jimmy: Do you think so, Sarah?
Sarah: Jonny's an idiot, Jimmy.

Eddy: (Jonny shoves Plank to uncover Eddy) Say, who's awesome handwriting is this?

(Jonny listens to what Plank says)

Eddy: It's so smart and neato. (to Kevin) I bet it was the cute guy in the red hat. (Jonny whispers to Kevin, after that a football is thrown at "Suzette's" face, taking all of his disguise off) Kevin: Pleased to meet ya, Dorkette! (Steps on Eddy's stomach taking out the football) Man, you're so desperate! (Everyone bursts into laughter before the bell rings and they run to classes)

[edit] Truth or Ed

Eddy: [to Edd about journalism] Yeah, right. I'd rather wear Ed's underwear for a week.
Ed: Not today Eddy. 'Cause I'm flyin' SOLO!
Edd: Are you ready to take that first step into the exciting world of journalism?
Ed: As long as I don't get any on my shoes, Double D! My mom has new carpets.
Nazz: [holding a paper to Sarah] I know it was you who went to Bobby Blabby with that hairy leg story, monkey-face!
Sarah: [shocked to Nazz, after record scratches squeeks] WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?!
Edd: (nervous) I have no idea what you're talking about!
Kevin: (hands the newspaper) Who wrote this stuff?
Edd:[looking at the paper]: Miniature aliens? hairy legs? Lost cities and Spandex bicycle shorts? Who indeed is Bobby Blabby? [Eddy attempts to sneak off with the money] Eddy? Care to explain?
Eddy [nervous]: Uhh... Couldn't tell ya. That guy's a jer- [The coins fall off Eddy's head]
Ed: You dropped your money, Bippy Boo-boo!
Eddy: IT'S BOBBY BLABBY!! GET IT RIGHT!! [Eddy puts his hands against his mouth, realising he has said the wrong thing] Ooops.
[Eddy is forced into knitting a doily]
Eddy: I hate doilies.

[edit] This Won't Hurt An Ed

[As a joke on Kevin, Ed and Eddy announce a booster shot for the school. Upon hearing this and seeing some of Eddy's mind games, Kevin collapses]
Jimmy: KEVIN FAINTED!!
Nazz [to Kevin]: Dude, are you okay?
Ed [In shock from a needle]: NEEDLE!?!
[Edd has just finished reorganising the files, only to end up bumping into Jonny]
Jonny [pulling his pants down]: Me and Plank are next, nurse assistant Double-D.
Edd: Jonny, make yourself decent, man!
[Ed has brought Eddy over to the medical room for a booster shot]
Eddy: Hey! Let me go!! Untie me!
Ed: I found him the science cupboard pretending to be a stuffed beaver, Double-D!
Edd: The nurse thanks you, Eddy.
Eddy: Oh Yeah?! What for?
Edd: For helping Kevin conquer his fear of needles by allowing him to witness the safe and easy administration of a real booster shot.
[Eddy sees the nurse getting the needle ready, and soon has the fear of them himself]
Eddy: Oh no you don't!! Not me!!
[Eddy tries to run away, only to be caught by Ed]
Ed: Worry not, little man. Because you get to have a lollypop after.
Eddy: Mommy.
[Ed drags Eddy into the medical room]
Kevin: Sweet.
Eddy [whilst hesitantly getting his arm out for the nurse]: But... No! Don't do it!! I'M TOO YOUNG!!!
Ed: NEEDLE!?!
[Ed runs out of the medical room, but comes back to pick up his lollypop]
Eddy: I HATE NEEDLES!!
[Kevin is heard laughing whilst Ed walks off with his lollypop in his mouth]

[edit] Tinker Ed

Edd: They were all part of an ingenious hoax!

Eddy: All that for a stupid quarter! How desperate can you get?

[edit] The Good, the Bad and the Ed

Eddy: I'll throw in the towel when it's laundry day, Double-D!
Eddy [after learning that he's lost by default]: ONE LOUSY SECOND!?!?!?!?
Ed : The little baby boo hoo bagde! See, it has a little ratle.

[edit] Tight End Ed

Edd and Eddy: Since when does Ed shower!?
Edd [attempting to cheer everyone up at the loss of the game]: It's not how you win or lose, it's how you play the game![quietly]As it may...

[edit] 'Tween a Rock and an Ed Place

Edd: It's all fun and games 'til Ed loses conciousness, Eddy.
Jonny: Am I the host of the most or what?
Ed and Jonny: NEVER ENDING PARTY! NEVER ENDING PARTY! NEVER ENDING PARTY!

[edit] All Eds Are Off

Eddy: Look like we've got ourselves a bet.
[Sarah has just noticed Rolf emptying meat out of his locker, but causes her to bump into Eddy]
Sarah: WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, FISHFACE!
[Eddy is just about to yell at Sarah, but soon remembers his role in the bet. Kevin and Rolf take notice]
Rolf: Hello.
Eddy [to Sarah]: Ahem. Nice try, windbag.
Ed: [Sucking on the cafeteria table. He isn't allowed to eat gravy because of the bet made on him]. Table kinda tastes like gravy...
Edd: Irony, Eddy. Try looking that up in the dictionary.
[Eddy is almost left speechless from what Edd has just said. However, this results in him getting a bucket of butterscotch pudding from the cafeteria]
Eddy: Oh yeah? Well, I've got an entire bucket of butterscoth pudding [writes down Ed's name in butterscotch pudding] with Ed's name on it!! How's that for ironing?!
[Knowing that he's allergic to butterscotch pudding, Ed makes a run for it alongside Edd. Despite slipping on some of it, Eddy still gives chase]
Eddy is trying to goad Edd into losing his bet of not using multi-syllable words
Eddy: (leafing through a dictionary, reading aloud) Let's see here... Con-she-enn-shus?.... what kinda bunk word is that...?"
(Edd is shown, obviously struggling fiercely not to correct Eddy's pronunciation. Eddy marks up the dictionary, further tormenting Edd)
Eddy: Ohhhh... here's another one... temper-a-mental.....
(Edd tugs down his cap, frantic with indignation and losing his composure)
Eddy: (scratching out the definition) I dunno about you, but that's just plain stupid!
Edd: STOP!!!!!! (snatches the dictionary away, holds it protectively. )
Edd: I will not tolerate your singlehanded annihilation of the English language for your own monetary gain, Eddy!
(Edd pauses in horror, drops the dictionary, and covers his mouth, realizing he just lost his bet. Eddy just grins, as if it were too easy.)

[edit] Smile For the Ed

Ed: Don't touch that dial, kids!
Edd: Good Afternoon, Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking with a very important announcement. All copies of student Eddy's photographs are to be returned to him immediately. This will leave to comply a well-warned detention for the rest of the semester. Thank You.
Kevin: Bummer.
Eddy: You heard the man.
Edd: Did I just do that? I did, didn't I? I just impersonated the Principal! Made false declarations in his name! Ohhh what have I done?"
Eddy: "Talk about adding insect to injury. Two hours of stinking cleanup. Plus, a week's worth of detention for impersonating the Principal. I don't even remember doin' that!"

[edit] Run, Ed, Run

Ed [to Eddy]: The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Eddy! It hit me on the head! It did!
Eddy:You're probably just growing a brain there, lumpy.
Edd: This isn't possible! (a 'piece' of the sky falls)
Eddy: Ed was Right, The Sky IS Falling!
Ed: Thank you very Much.
Eddy: (The sky starts to break) So, now what do we do.
Edd: I'm afraid we're just about to find out, Eddy.
(The Eds fall)

[edit] A Town Called Ed

Edd'' [looking]: The Kankers own Peach Creek.

[edit] A Fistful Of Ed

Edd [sweating as Lee advances]: Perhaps a quiet perusal of this book, so that you too can discover the wonders of egg hatching for yourself?
Lee [looming closer]: Sweet talking won't get you everywhere!
Ed [talking to his egg, Double G]: So, little Double G. Seeing as my old pal Double D is now a nasty MacDuster Knuckles, you are going to be my new friend. What would you like to do today? [Ed peers closely at the egg and appears to listen for a reply. Ed carries on, imitating Edd's voice] I, Double G, am gentle unlike that evil Double D you speak of. Shall we talk about fossils and dish soap? [Ed goes back to his normal voice in a tearful manner] Double D used to talk about dish soap, all the time.
[Ed completely breaks down until he's carried by Eddy]

Eddy [eats that hot dog and talks with his mouthfull, angrily]: Is everybody happy? Good! Jeez!

[edit] May I Have This Ed?

Ed: This is my friend Sheldon..... uh Junior.
[the school gets destroyed on its own]
Ed: [over the bushes] NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!
Edd: It seems I did learn something from your brother's book, Eddy. After all, I did get to dance with Nazz.
Ed: And I got Wilfred's phone number, guys.
Eddy: You're an idiot, Ed.
[Edd is shy with the mannequin; Eddy plays a song on the record]
Eddy: She's waiting.
Ed: Squish the eyeball, Double D! [squeezes his eye]
["Dreaming of You" plays while Double D tries to ask the mannequin]
Edd: [whimpers] I can't stand rejection! [collapses to the ground]

[edit] Look Before You Ed

Sarah: Come on, Jimmy!
[pause]
Nazz: Let him have it, dudes!
Jimmy: Snowball Ambush!
Jimmy [frightfully]: Winter scares me.
Sarah [joyfully]: Winter time's fun, Jimmy!
Ed: [exhales] Smooooke! [inhales] I am Habachi Man! Beware my breath of charcoal doom!
Rolf: Yes. Rolf finally feels safe enough to appear in this episode.
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